The Greater Good continued
by nickythehippi
Summary: This story is my heart and soul! It picks up from The Greater Good, season 5 episode 14. It dives into Gregory House's soul like no other story dares to do. Everything from his past, to the relationships he shares with Wilson, Cuddy, and his team are in this story. It might seem long, but I promise you, it's worth it! You will cry and laugh and see the complex House I see! :)
1. Chapter 1: Intro

Cuddy was sitting at her desk getting everything finally put up so that she could leave when Wilson came through her office door.

"Wilson, is there something I can do for you?" Cuddy asked with a curious look. She was ready to go and was hoping that this would be quick.

Wilson looked tired and irritated. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this date... I need this...and now, well after your little stunts..." as Wilson's sentence faded his arms fell to his sides in a some what defeated manner.

Cuddy looked at him a little surprised and still confused. "I didn't know that you were even dating?" She said and then continued, "but I don't see what my "stunts" have to do with it?"

Wilson looked at her shaking his head slightly. Only Wilson knew House's secret and he was starting to get tired of being the only one the House would let in, but he knew if he just told Cuddy that House would surely kill him or even worse, close himself off completely from anyone. "This is my first date since Amber. Cuddy, House... he doesn't tell you everything." Wilson said with a ominous tone.

Cuddy's eyebrows went up in surprise as her eyes looked concerned. "Is there something he should tell me? Or that maybe you could tell me, because this conversation isn't helping me to understand what's going on any better," she said watching him.

Wilson knew that this wasn't helping her to understand so he decide to just let her see for herself. He dug his hands in his pocket and put a key on her table. "That's a key to House's apartment. I'm assuming that his electricity has been turned on?" He asked her with a judging eyes.

Cuddy was now even more confused, "Yes, but I don't.."

Wilson cut her off, "I need you to check up on House tonight, I've taken the liberty of finding a baby sitter, Nurse Gina from the pediatric department will be at your house at nine to stay with Rachel."

This was starting to get absurd. Cuddy couldn't believe the nerve of Wilson to just march in here and tell her to check up on House and even getting a babysitter. Who the hell did he think he was? "Wilson, I'm.."

Wilson cut her off again. "It's better if you just go in, don't knock or anything and DON'T tell him where you got that key."

Cuddy had just about enough of this, "You can't make me..."

Once again Wilson had cut her off but this time his volume had increase as had the edge in his voice, "You will check up on him or I will quit, you hear me Lisa! I can't do this tonight... I NEED to go on this date. I can't handle this tonight, like I usually do, so I need you to do this." Wilson had said it all with such frustration and temper that his body seemed to stagger like a balloon that had been popped. He could see the complete confusion in her eyes and shock at his yelling, so he spoke to her in a low soft voice. "This isn't for him, Cuddy, it's for me, I can't go out unless I know you will stop by, please."

Cuddy looked at him with concern and worry. "Fine" she said and Wilson left.

Wilson was in his kitchen cleaning up because he was anxious and in need of something to do. He wondered if he had done the right thing by going to Cuddy, he knew that House would be furious if he ever find out that he had given Cuddy a key to House's place, but he needed to go on this date, he need this in order to try and get over the loss of Amber. Wilson looked at the cup sitting on the counter with her lipstick still on it and grabbed it up and starting washing it. He hoped he had done the right thing.


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpected Visitor

Cuddy was grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator when she heard her door bell ring. She looked at the clock noticing it was 8:50 pm. Well I guess this is it she thought to herself as she quickly went to get the door and let in Nurse Gina. Cuddy opened the door wide and gave Gina a smile and a nod as she let her into the house.

Cuddy gave her a list (literally it was three pages typed) of instructions about taking care of Rachel even thought she knew that most likely Rachel would sleep through the next hour or two. And was surprised when Gina informed her that she had been paid to stay the whole night. Cuddy told her that she would probably be home before then and quickly grabbed her purse and House's key and was off.

She couldn't believe she was so nervous standing outside Houses apartment. She wondered if she should have worn something different than the running shoes, hugging blue jeans and tight sleeveless top, which she only now seemed to notice how low cut it was. She pulled the shirt up a little to cover her more and gave a loud sigh. She pulled his key out of her pocket and a small smirk covered her lips as she thought about how many more "stunts" she could have pulled if she had the key sooner. She looked at the door, it felt rude not to knock, but then again, House never knocked at work, he would just barge in...but this wasn't work, this was his home. Wilson told me not to knock, just go in. Cuddy slowly put the key in the door and opened it. She had been holding her breath afraid of what she would find until, she realized that he didn't even seem to be here. She took a quite step forward and looked around. The piano caught her eye as she tried to imagine him sitting there playing a song and her smile widened. Then she jumped as she heard a grunt from the bathroom.

"Wilson? Dammit, I told you I'd be fine... just go on your stupid date." House's voice was scratchy and forced as he spoke.

Cuddy swallowed and decided not to answer just yet as she closed his front door and then walked to the bathroom slowly and opened the door. Cuddy's mouth was hanging open at the sight before her. House was laying on the floor in blue jeans and a tee shirt, his back arched up so high that only his neck touch the floor his left leg laid out while his right leg was bent with his right hand digging into the material that was on his aching thigh while his left hand was in a tight white knuckled fist that made every vain in his arm pop up. He was pale and she could see the sweat that covered his arm and face, his teeth were clamped together and his eyes were closed tight as he took sharp breaths through his nose. He hadn't noticed her yet. She could tell that the pain was excruciating as she looked at him and suddenly she realized why Wilson needed her to check up on House. She stood looking at him unable to move and then she saw his back fall down to the floor and he drew in shallow breaths. "House?" Cuddy said softly.

House had just got done riding a terrible wave of pain set on by the spasms in this right thigh when he heard his name, but he knew instantly that it hadn't been Wilson that had said it. His eyes quickly opened and what he saw was one of his worst nightmares. Cuddy looking at him with those sad, pity filled eyes. Anger filled his tired pain ridden body as he looked at her with contempt. "How the hell did you get in?" he was so mad that he was growling.

Cuddy didn't know what to say. He sounded like he was going to kill her, but then again, she knew the last thing he would ever want is for someone, especially her to see him like this. She tried to think of something that he might believe.

House couldn't take it anymore her looking at him like that, so he did the only thing he could do at the moment and turned his face away from her. "It... doesn't matter...(grunt)... just... DAMIT!" House's whole body tensed up again as his back came back off the floor and his eyes closed in pain. "Get Out!" He yelled through gritted teeth.

Cuddy swallowed hard, she couldn't just leave him there like that. "I'm calling an ambulance." She said as she started to get her phone from her purse.

"NOOO!" He yelled with his eyes still closed tight and his back still arched in pain.

"House you need to be at the Hospital! This is too much, trust me." Cuddy's voice was pleading as she looked at him. It was causing her pain just looking at what he was going through.

Houses body went limp against the floor again and he shook his head laughing bitterly. "Yeah tried that, and look at what it got me." He was now looking her straight in the eyes daring her to contradict him.

Cuddy felt a rush of guilt run through her as he stared her down. She looked down and noticed the phone still in her hands and slid it open. "I'm calling, you need help."

"You can call all you want, but I'm not going anywhere, I'll refuse to be taken and then you will have just wasted their and your time. I mean wouldn't it be terrible if someone with a fixable problem like a heart attack died because you were too stubborn to listen to me." House's eyes were fixed on her with a challenging look as he swallowed back the nausia that was trying to over take him.

Cuddy looked back and forth between her phone and his eyes. She wanted to yell at him, but she knew that it wouldn't do any good, he was right. God how I hate it when he's right. Then she noticed him trying to sit up and then suddenly he threw his head into the toilet and started vomiting. Cuddy slowly walked towards him to make sure that he was okay. She noticed that his vomit turned out to be just stomach acid, which meant he hadn't eaten anything today, or that he had already thrown it up earlier.

House spit out the bile that lingered in his mouth and looked up to see Cuddy bent over him. "Didn't I tell you to Get Out?" House looked at her with cold eyes.

As she looked at him she could see the sweat slowly running down his face and knew that if she were going to stay she was going to have to keep her composer together, House wouldn't let her help him if she showed any signs of weakness or sympathy. So she would have to try and use the same banter as she did at work. "Oh yeah, I think you mentioned it, but you know me... I'm just sooo stubborn, so unless your going to throw me out?" Cuddy smiled a evil smirk as she looked him up and down.

House's eyes twinkled just a little bit. "Wow, that's low, even for you!" House exclaimed even though he was smiling.

Cuddy smiled as she looked at him, "Well.."

House cut her off, "And by low, I'm talking about your shirt." His eyes darted from her eyes back down her chest and up again. "Did you wear that specifically for me?" He's voice had become husky and his eyes were boring into her.

She couldn't think of anything more repulsive right now than getting down and dirty with him in so much pain, sweating and trowing up. But she knew he needed this, he need to act like everything was normal. "Yep," she said as she leaned her chest toward him as she whispered in his ear, "I thought I'd sneak in here and ravage you. I have to find some way to make your earn your keep." Cuddy wondered if she had went to far but when she pulled back to see House smiling with a evil grin she knew she had done well.

House had been stunned by Cuddy's action and the way that her breath felt on his ear... it had been intoxicating. She was evil, and he wouldn't have it any other way. He gave her an appreciative grin and then was suddenly reminded of his leg as another spasm hit. He gripped his thigh and tried with all his might not to scream as he slid down to the floor and back into the same dance he had been doing for the last couple of hours, back arched, hand fisted, eyes closed, teeth now biting his lower lip to keep from screaming.

Cuddy moved back a little as he started to battle the pain again. Then she quickly moved forward, she wanted to take his blood pressure. She gently put her fingers on his artery in his neck and saw his eyes open slightly and look at her. She could see the pain burning behind them and they were moist, but she wasn't sure if it was from tears or sweat running in them, he closed them as quickly as he had opened them and she looked at her watch to figure out his blood pressure. As soon as she was done she left her hand there and softly rubbed her thumb on his cold stubbled skin and waited for the pain to subside for a moment. His blood pressure was 240 and she just prayed he didn't have a heart attack. She noticed that his teeth were now cutting into his lip and she swallowed back the soft words of comfort she desperately wanted to say.

When the pain subsided his body just seemed to fall back to the floor and he kept his eyes closed. He was afraid that there might be symathy or pity in her eyes now, so he figured he would lighten things up. "Just can't … keep your ….. hands off me?" He said between shallow breaths.

She looked down at him surprised that he still had a sense of humor in light of what was happening. She smiled slightly and said something that would give him an opening. "It could just be that I'm a Doctor."

House opened his eyes and looked back at her. "Just because play a doctor during sex games doesn't actually mean your a doctor, if that was true I'd be a lone ranger, so I go back to my original theory, you have the hots for me." House said as he wagged his eye brows

Cuddy smiled at him and then noticed him shievering slightly. "Lone Ranger, uh?" She said with one eyebrow cocked.

"I already know what your thinking, and yes, I do have a pair of crotchless leather ch.. ch.. chaps." House said as he shivered again.

Cuddy closed her eyes and tried to shake the image of House in nothing but a cowboy hat and the said crotchless leather chaps from her mind. "Thanks for the image House, but I think that since you are cold at the moment, we might should think about getting you warm."


	3. Chapter 3: Warm me up

House gave a fake pout, and then a devious idea popped into his head. "The fastest way to warm up the human body is by stripping and huddling together. So what do you say cuddles...let's huddle." House said as he looked her up and down.

Cuddy looked shocked at first and then shrugged, "Fine." She said as moved her hand under the hem of his tee shirt which she could now tell was also drenched in sweat and started moving it up his body feeling is cold slick skin beneath her hand. She felt his abs move as he let a small gasp escape his lips.

House was beginning to wonder if this was the real Cuddy or if this was some great figment of his imagination. "Really?" He asked completely startled by her reaction.

She smiled as saw his dumb struck face and pulled his shirt over his head. "No, I'm going to get you some sweats from your room." She threw the soaked tee shirt in the tub and then moved her hands to the waist of his jeans. They too were soaked, like he had taken a show in them. She looked at him and tried to hide the worry in her face. "How long have you been like this, your soaked?"

House looked at her hands resting on the top of his jeans nervously, and then back at her face, her voice had been cool, but her eyes showed some worry. House sighed, "I don't know, I've been here since six... what time is it now?"

Cuddy blinked as she tried no to think about him being in pain for hours before she got there. She looked down and took her left hand from him and took her phone out of her left pocket and flipped it open. She closed it back and closed her eyes as she tried to control her emotions. "Nine forty-five" She said as she looked at him again. "It's going to be easier to get your pants off if your standing. Can you stand?" She asked keeping her voice void of emotion.

House laid his head back down and looked at the ceiling. He laughed harshly, then swallowed as the laughs almost turned to sobs. He hated being this pathetic, he couldn't even stand his whole body was so sore and tired that any movement was hard, but standing was just out of the question. "No." He said softly as he closed his eyes and swallowed. And then he felt Cuddy's fingers unbutton his pants and his hand gently grabbed hers as he looked at her. He didn't want her to see his leg, she had seen it before, but he was still worried about it, he didn't like looking weak and vulnerable in front of her.

She was a little startled by his icy hand suddenly on hers. His grasp was gentle but it said volumes. She looked at him and saw the fear that was in them. "House we have to get these off of you, they're soaked. Plus there's a pool going on at the nurses station about just how "cocky" you really are and I'm hoping to win." She said with a small smirk.

House looked at her with a slight smile, "You already know exactly how big my cane is."

Cuddy shrugged "It's been a while, I've forgotten." She said said innocently.

Houses eyes suddenly looked hurt, and his smile faded as his hand tightened slightly on hers. "You forgot?" He tried not to show how much the idea of her forgetting their night of passion hurt him, but it was hard.

Cuddy was surprised that he seemed so hurt by her comment. Of course she hadn't forgotten, that night was etched in her memory forever. "Okay so maybe I haven't forgotten, maybe I just wanted another peek."

The hurt in his face faded as if it had never been there, but he still was hesitant. He knew that she wasn't going to give up and finally nodded. "If you plan on actually getting my pants off I'm going to need you to help straighten my right leg. Just try to avoid putting too much pressure on the thigh."

Cuddy looked at him and then the leg and bit her bottom lip slightly, "But... but wont that hurt?" She asked looking at him.

He looked at her with truthful eyes "Yeah, a lot. It might help if my sweats and underwear were already in here. There is a towel on top of the toilet I can dry off with before getting in my sweats." Houses last words were said through gritted teeth as his back arched up again and his knuckles whitened. "Just go...and …. get...I'll...okay" He tried to talk while the spasm in his right thigh worsened.

Cuddy looked at him and went to get the cloths from his room as fast as she could. She knew that there wasn't anything she could truly do to ease his pain, but she didn't like the idea of him having to be alone like that. Damn Wilson for keeping this a secret, if she had known what to expect maybe she could have brought something with her to help him. She found his clothes quickly and was back in the bathroom to see his body go limp again. She put the cloths beside her and looked at him still breathing heavy. "Ready?" She asked as her hands shook slightly one on his knee and the other under his calf.

"Can't wait" He said with a sarcastic smile.

I can do this, Cuddy thought as she took a firmer hold. She knew his leg had to be seized up from being that position so long, and prepared herself. She moved with determination but not so fast as to make it any worse than it had to be.

"Aaagghhh.. (pant).. Fuck.. JESUS..." House's leg was finally straight and he was taking deep breath as he tried to keep it that way. He could feel all the muscles in the leg shaking, wanting to go back to the position, but he made himself keep it straight, putting his hands to the side of him and lifting his hips from the floor trying to balance himself on the heel of his left foot. "Hurry." He said as he saw Cuddy sitting there with shaking hands, apparently to scared to move. As he grunted and panted from the pain.

Cuddy had almost lost it when he yelled Jesus. There had been so much pain in his voice, it killed her. She suddenly had forgotten why she was doing this, why she was hurting him much. Then she heard him say hurry she knew she needed to be quick if she wanted to stop this pain. She quickly unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his knees she couldn't help but stare at the dark bruises on his both his legs. Then she quickly made it down to his feet and pulled the rest of the right pant leg off, and held his left leg by the ankle slightly and pulled it off as well. Then she made her way back up to his waist and pulled the his underwear off and glanced down, he was exactly as she remembered him she noted, then she pull the underwear completely down and discarded them like the pants in the tub and grabbed the towel and started drying his legs and then gave him and awkward smile as she dried his private parts, to which his eyes shot open as he looked her. Her eyes suddenly were on his as he grunted and panted and she could feel him stiffening under the towel. It suddenly feel like the room got hot and she decided it was time to get his underwear back on so she grabbed the new pair and gently started to redress his bottom half. When she was done he practically fell back on the floor his head hitting with a thump on the floor and finally bending his right leg again. She took her time drying his upper body as he took deep breaths with his eyes closed trying to relax as much as he could. The room held an awkward silence from before when she had accidentally gotten him hard while drying him, so she figured it would be best if she tried to lighten the mood again. "Well, I guess I still have it?" She said with an evil grin and a cocked eyebrow.

House opened his eyes and looked at her. "Yeah" he said as he looked away from her eyes. He was embarrassed to say the least, but he couldn't help it, it had been so long since someone had touched him like that. Too long, maybe he should actually start calling the hookers he always joked about, but the one time he had he felt so pathetic he just couldn't do it again. He closed his eyes afraid of what she had to think of him.

She couldn't believe she was seeing shame and embarrassment on Houses features. She never thought he would feel that way about what had happened. He seemed to be thinking and she couldn't help wondering if maybe it had been longer than he acted since he had been with someone. She had expect a snide remark back, but instead he couldn't even look at her. "Hey sleeping beauty, you mind sitting up so I can get this on you?" She said with his Led Zeppelin hoodie in her right hand.

House turned and looked at her confused, "What?" To which she shook the shirt in her right hand and he grabbed it from her. "I've got it." He snapped and he pushed himself into a sitting position and quickly getting into it. "Thanks" he mumbled as he straighten the hoodie still avoiding her eyes.

Cuddy smiled at the thanks he had mumbled, it mean something coming from him. "So have you eaten yet, because I'm starving?" She said while sitting beside him.

House looked at her with amusement. "Oh yeah, nothing makes me more hungry than being in blinding pain and puking every half hour or so, sounds appetizing, doesn't it?"

She cringed a little at the idea, but she knew he needed to eat. From what she saw when she was helping him change he had lost some weight, and he was already a little under weight as it was. "Well isn't it over now? You seem more relaxed." Cuddy said trying to sound as if she didn't care.

House used his arms and dragged his body to the wall and leaned back on it. "Nope, it's just half time, but if you feel like sitting the rest of this game out I'll understand."

Cuddy realized this was House's way of politely asking her to leave, but she wasn't going to leave until she knew he was okay. Now she understood why Wilson had got the sitter to stay the whole night. "So how often do you play this game?" She asked as casually as if they were talking about some stupid sport.

House looked at her trying to decide if he should answer, but then figured if he didn't she would just con it out of Wilson anyways. "Once... sometimes twice a week." He said as if talking about a patient.

Cuddy's eyes widened, she didn't think it would be that often. To be honest until a couple of hours ago, she never had even imagined that he had pain like that. She didn't know how to respond, so instead she tried to come up with a solution. "What do you usually take?" She asked trying to keep the worry out of her voice.

"Nothing," He responded, and then saw her shocked face. "Nothing works, vicodin does nothing, morphine doesn't even take the edge off, muscle relaxers don't help. Once when it got too bad, you know when I was begging Wilson to just saw the damn thing off, he gave me a local shot of a neuro-muscular blocker, and that worked, but it doesn't mix well with having vicodin in my system.. so."

Cuddy looked away, she didn't want to be useless, but she didn't know what to do either. She figured that she might as well try to worry about what she could fix, or at least try to. "So no matter what it just rises up again?" She asked looking at him curiously.

House looked at her confused, and then slowly started shaking his head while closing his eyes and smiling. He even chuckled as he realized she had been talking about him eating.

Cuddy looked at him like he was nuts, she couldn't see what was so funny. "What so funny?"

House looked at her barely able to stop laughing, "I just thought you were, talking about "earlier" events."

Cuddy looked around a little and then it hit her. She blushed as she rethought her words. "I... I was talking about your stomach."

House started laughing again. "I know, that's what makes it so funny, you weren't even trying!"

She was happy to see him truly enjoying himself. "Do you always have your mind in the gutter?"

House pretended to be thinking hard, "Well lets see, I am a man... so yeah, it in my DNA. What can I do?"

Cuddy pretended to be disgusted at him and narrowed her eyes, "Pig!"

House gave her a knowing grin, "Like you would have me any other way. Ying Yang Dragon."

She gave him a odd look, "What?"

"You were wondering if there was anything I could eat; their soup calms my stomach." He said as he looked at her.

Cuddy smiled, "Great, I'm love Chinese food."

House rolled his eyes, "Duh... you're Jewish, I swear that there is sweet and sour sauce in your veins."

She couldn't help but laugh, "Is there anything besides the soup? And what kind of soup is it?"

House gave a cocky grin, "Pot-stickers, cheese wontons, and the soup is all for me. The soup is named after me."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "The house soup, then. I don't really think they were actually thinking of you when they named it that."

House scoffed, "You have your opinions, and I have mine. Of course mine are always right, so it's more like a fact when I say it, but whatever." And then he used his arms to drag himself to the tub and fished out his wallet, handing her a twenty.

Cuddy kept blinking, thinking that this couldn't be real. After a couple of seconds she shook her head, "House I'm not letting you pay for my food."

House sighed loudly as if irritated. "Great, because this will barely cover mine... well!" He still held out the money waiting on her to take it.

She knew it would be best in the long run to keep the peace for as long as possible. So she took the money and looked at it, as if it was a trick, and then noticed the other twenty behind it. "House, there are two twenties here."

House's face mocked innocence, "Oops, how did that get there? Well it's too bad I've already put up my wallet." House said as he put the wallet in a pocket on his hoodie.

Cuddy knew it wasn't an accident. "House..." She said softly, touched by the idea of him trying to kind.

House could see her eyes softening and started to feel awkward. "Yeah, well you might want to hurry they close at midnight, and it's...?" He gave her a nod toward her watch.

Cuddy wasn't really surprised that he didn't want her to acknowledge his good side. She looked down at her watch to see that it was already 11:35 pm. It didn't feel like that much time had past. "Where is the restaurant?" She asked.

House felt more comfortable now that he could see that she was dropping the subject of the money. "Go down my street for six blocks take a right and it will be on the left side two blocks down." He tried to keep his voice from wavering as his leg started to spasm again. Pressing his hand slighting deeper into his thigh he knew she wouldn't want to go if she knew he was he was having another spasm.

Cuddy looked at him, "Okay, I've got it. So where is your cell?" She asked as she started to notice some beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

House looked up at her working to keep his face relaxed and his voice steady. "On the coffee table."

Cuddy went to grab it quickly and when she came back he seemed to look more tense. "House are you alright?"

House keep he eyes down and snapped, "I'm Fine, now would go?"

"I'm gone, but keep your phone on you in case something happens." Cuddy said as she could tell something was already going on and started to head for the door.

"Yes, Mom!" House barked just before she closed the door.

As soon as she was outside the door she leaned back on it for support. He can't live like this, no one should have to have pain like this, she thought as she rested the back of her head against the door. For the first time since she had done the surgery, she began to doubt rather she had made the right choice. She knew that what she had done wasn't ethical, and she knew that House had a right to be mad, but she never doubted that she had done the right thing for him. But now, after seeing him like that, and this had been going on for 10 years!

"Aaaggghhhhh!"

Cuddy looked back at the door and was about to go back in, when she realized that if he wanted her there right now he would have called her, and with that she went to go get the food.

House had held it in long enough that he knew Cuddy would be gone. It felt a little better to scream like he was letting part of it out, but he didn't want to scare or upset Cuddy anymore than she already was. He was still sitting against the tub which he was steadily hitting with his fists hoping it would distract him from the pain in his thigh as his breathing became more ragged. His chest started to tighten and he pushed himself to his left side, trying to straighten out. He knew that if he didn't get his breathing under control soon he was in trouble, and the best way to do that was lying down. He laid there for several minutes breathing, as his chest stayed tight and his leg screamed, wondering if he was going to make it or if his body was finally going to give up. But then his chest began to feel normal and the spasm in his leg passed. He was once again covered in sweat and his stomach lurch, and he barely held it together to get his head to the bath tub when he vomited up bile, and then dry heaved for a couple of minutes.

"Fuck this!" House growled as he spit the last of the bile from his mouth. He knew of one way to take away from the pain he was in and even though he knew Cuddy wouldn't like, and would probably lecture him about it like Wilson had, he didn't care anymore. They didn't understand what this felt like. House took a deep breath and started dragging his tired body behind him again.


	4. Chapter 4: House soup

Cuddy was on her way home from getting the food, and had discovered some interesting things. Evidently House gambled with the owner and had won a bet on a basketball game that had played earlier that day, and that the soup actually was named after House, evidently House would pick out the wantons in the wanton soup and put them in a bowl of their hot and sour soup on the buffet and kept instructing them that they should put it on the menu, so when they did, they named after him. Surprisingly they said it was their best selling soup. Only in House-land did things happen that way, to anyone else they would have been kicked out and had a restraining order.

As Cuddy opened the door she put the food on the coffee table and walked in to the bathroom where she saw House quickly pulling back on his hoodie. He looked more pale and sweaty, as if he had another spasm while she was gone, but what worried her the most was how fast he put on the sweater and that he was smiling at her.

"Hey, glad the foods here, I'm starting." House said with a polite smile as he started to drag himself out to the rest room.

Cuddy gave him a suspicious stare, "Why'd you take your shirt off?"

House looked up at her with a grin. "Got a little hot. Why, you sad you didn't get to see my sexy bod?" He said as he wagged his eyebrows.

Cuddy gave a cute fake pout, "A little... well move your ass, the foods getting cold."

"Yes mistress," House said in a deep voice as he dragged himself into the living room.

Cuddy turned on the light for the first time in the bathroom and looked around at the, but everything seemed to be in place so she turned around and went back to the living room. "You seem to be in a better mood," She said as sat on the couch and watched as House started getting everything out of the bags separating his from hers.

House first started in on the soup, and smiled at Cuddy. "Mmm... this soup sure is good."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him and grinned, "Okay so you were right about the soup."

House gave a victorious smile. "I always am, just remember that next time you doubt me." Then put the rest of his soup on the coffee table and grabbed his right thigh. He was able to take deep breaths, but his hands still went into tight fist as he waited out the spasm. His face grimiced slightly, it still hurt bad, but it was manageable.

Cuddy watched House and noticed that the spasm seemed to go by easier this time. "So I guess the second half isn't as bad as the first half of this?" She asked popping a shrimp in her mouth.

"Yep." House said as he started shoveling in the food.

Cuddy was taken aback by how fast House was eating. "Christ, House, whens the last time you ate?"

House stopped eating for a moment and thought about it. "Yesterday I ate Wilson chips and a bite of his sandwich at lunch." He said with a shrug and starting eating again.

"Your suppose to eat three meals a day, House! Not three bites every couple of days!" Cuddy exclaimed.

"Well, I'm trying to eat NOW if someone would let me, okay?" House said as he rolled his eyes and was about to start eating again.

Cuddy grabbed his left forearm to make him turn around and look at her, and House's face grimaced, probably because he didn't want to be lectured Cuddy figured but this was important. "House how hard is it to remember to eat! And you know your not suppose to take vicodin on an empty stomach. Damn it House why is it so hard for you to do what you're suppose to do!" Cuddy was almost screaming.

"I don't know Lisa, maybe because the vicodin makes me nauseous half the time, and if I don't take the vicodin then the pain pretty much puts a stop in my appetite! Now will you quit acting like my Mother!" House was screaming. He was tired of being questioned by her and Wilson on everything he did. It wasn't their business, and they always assumed the worst. He looked down at his arm that she was holding trying his best not to let her know how much it was hurting him. "Now, can I have my arm back."

Cuddy could tell that she had really upset him, from the moment her first name came off his lips. She didn't know that the pills and the pain had made it hard for him to eat. "House... why didn't you just tell me or Wilson?" She asked still holding on to him so he couldn't just get out of the conversation.

House looked at her with a serious face. "And what would you have done? Given my another pill to take that I would have to carry around and try to remember that would most likely run havoc on yet another one of my organs, hopefully not the liver because who knows how much more it can take. No, I eat enough, and I manage. I already have problems not sleeping, from the vicodin or the pain, I don't want anymore side effects thank you very much. Now are we finished?" He asked still looking her in the eyes.

She wanted to tell him it didn't have to be this hard, but she didn't really know if it could be better. He was right every drug had it's side effects, and there weren't many pills on the market for nausea that were meant for extended use, a couple of months yes, but not years. And then trying to find one that would work well with the large amounts of vicodin he took. Well, he was right, it wouldn't be easy and to be honest even if they did find one, what would the side effects be? Cuddy looked down at his hand not knowing what to say when she saw something on it. "You've got something on you." She said as she grabbed a paper napkin and started wiping it off. It was red and that confused her as she looked around for a container of red food.

"It's fine, I'll wash up later Mommy." House mocked as he tried to pull his hand out of her grasp, but was unsuccessful.

Cuddy couldn't find any containers with red food and she looked back to see that the spot had returned, so she wiped again lifting the sleeve of his shirt back a little when she realized it wasn't food at all, it was blood. "House, you're bleeding." Cuddy said as she looked at him with worry in her eyes.

House couldn't keep eye contact. "It's probably just a scratch, can I get back to my meal now?" House pleaded.

"It looks worse than a scratch House." Cuddy said wondering why he had such little interest in his wound. As she looked at him she could see that he was biting his lip. "House?" She said with concern, but he just turned his face farther from her and pushed his food around with the chopsticks in his right hand. "I'm going to take a look, okay." She said as she waited for him to respond.

House just mumble, "You do that" with his face still turned away.

Cuddy could tell something was wrong with him. She gently pushed up the sleeve higher until she got to the top of his forearm and saw the reason for the blood. A gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the cut. It was three inches long and about one and a half inches deep. "House what happened?" Cuddy asked now not even trying to cover the worry in her voice.

House put down his chopsticks and ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes. "It's not a big deal Cuddy, just leave it alone."

Cuddy looked at him confused by why he was acting this way. "House, have you even seen this? It's a large cut and it's deep, House this is serious look at me!"

House turned toward her and held her eyes for a while. "I've already seen it, just let this go Lisa, please?" He said with a sad pleading voice.

Cuddy couldn't believe her ears or her eyes. House's voice shook her. She had never heard him sound so desperate and his eyes were pleading. Once again he had used her first name, but instead of saying it in anger, it was soft and intimate. And then she suddenly thought back to words Cameran had said to her years ago. _He's cutting himself_. Cuddy looked at him with wide eyes and as hers met his, he looked away and swallowed.

House knew by the look of horror in her eyes that she had figured it out and didn't want to face the talk that was soon to come.

Cuddy looked closely at arm and could see many very faint scars on the arm. She felt sick. She didn't want to think of House sitting in that bathroom and cutting into his own arm. What was she suppose to say? She wanted him to talk to her about this not just shut down like he seemed to already be doing. So she figured she would try an aggressive approach first, at least she knew she would get some reaction from him and he tended to be truthful when he was pushed. Cuddy prepared herself for the fight. "What the hell were you thinking? God, House how stupid are you?"

House's jaw tensed up and he took a deep breath. "Leave, now. Just Go."

Cuddy already knew she wasn't leaving no matter what he said. "No I will not leave. What the vicodin doesn't get you HIGH enough, you have to cut yourself too. What's next Acid, Meth, E?"

House was now clutching his thigh with his fists. "This has … nothing... to do... with getting... HIGH!" Houses eyes were now on hers and they were on fire. "It's about PAIN... PAIN, that... you... you..." House was panting now trying to get enough oxygen to get through the spasm his head drooped a little as he got light headed.

"House your act isn't working." Cuddy said as she wasn't sure if House was really having a spasm or not.

House closed his eyes a little and the as the spasm started to stop he find himself furious with Cuddy.

House looked at her with moist eyes firery, "Fuck you! You think that this, is a fucking act? You think that (House pointed to the bathroom) was a act? What! You think I spend my nights laid out in the bathroom waiting for you to break in my to my home! You know nothing about what I go through!"

Cuddy looked at House with cold eyes. "With you, who knows maybe you just want attention, or to make me feel guilty! I don't know but I know that cutting yourself isn't the right way to deal with your pain if it's getting worse and being a genius I figured that you would be smart enough to figure that out!"

"Get the Fuck out of my house! NOW!" House yelled with an anger that he hardly ever let out.

Cuddy visible flinched, but didn't back down. "I'm not leaving until I see you walk."

"Fine." House grabbed the armrest of the couch and used his left leg to slowly stand with out putting his right foot on the floor. He paled and started to sweat more as his breathing sounded ragged. He looked around the room until he saw one of his canes resting on the other side of the couch close to Cuddy. "Cane?" He said as he looked at her with restrained anger being sure to keep the pain out of his face.

Cuddy stared at him with wide eyes, he looked like he was about to pass out. There were literally small streams of sweat running down his paled face. "House... House, you need to sit, you look like.. death." Cuddy's voice was soft and pleading as she stood up.

"Oh please, stop with the complements, I'm blushing. Cane." House said this time with more determination even though all he wanted to do was lay down. House watched as Cuddy just shook her head in a silent no. "Fine... I guess I'll have... to do with out it." House kept his eyes on her and put his right hand on his thigh so he could help his leg support his weight and slowly put his right foot on the floor. House looked down to try to gaige how far he would be able to walk before he couldn't take the pain anymore.

"Here," Cuddy said as she handed him his cane afraid he would fall with out it, "You don't have to do this. Please, don't." Cuddy said as he took the cane from her.

"I don't see why you are so worried. I mean it's all an act right?" House said at took a small step forward trying his best to not let any of the pain show, instead he tried to focus on the anger. Just the idea that she would even consider that he was pretending to be in pain made his blood boil and his heart race.

Cuddy had never regretted her words more than in this moment. She hadn't believed that he had faked everything, just the spasm during their argument seemed convenient. But for some reason her words had a huge effect on House. His eyes seemed to smolder with anger but his body was screaming of pain. She watched as his entire fist was completely white from the grip on the cane handle and his right arms slight shake from holding most of his weight. "House, you've made your point. I won't question if your in pain again, but I'm never going to think cutting yourself is the best answer. Can't you see I'm worried about you dammit?"

"Get the hell out." House said with determination.

"What? No... no, I'm not leaving you like this." Cuddy said and crossed her arms under her chest in a defensive manner.

"You said if I walked you'd leave. Now leave." House said in a soft low angry voice that shook slightly as he took another painfully slow step towards her.

House's voice sent a chill up Cuddy's spine, but she couldn't leave. So she just stood there.

"LEAVE!" House roared with anger and frustration. "Go and spend... time... with that... damn kid... or go fuck your-... self, I …. don't care... just leave...me the …..fuck alone." He said bitterly between heavy breaths as the pain was too much to bare as he could feel his leg begging to spasm again from the weight and movement of walking.

Cuddy quickly tried to catch him as she saw his whole body shaking slightly as his bad leg began to give out. "House!" She gasped as she grabbed his left arm, but it was too late as he fell towards his right his leg smashing against the edge of the coffee table before it slid away and he fell on the floor.

"Aaaawwwwww!" House screamed so loud that it his throat hurt as he rolled on to his back. The pain was so intense that he couldn't stop the water that spilled from his eyes from the pain. His whole body was shaking from the pain that came from his thigh and it was all he could do to breath.

Cuddy was down by his left side. "Oh my god... House, are you okay?" She said with panic in her voice.

House gave a chopped laugh through his breathing and closed his eyes as he shook.

"Okay that was a stupid question." She wanted to call the ambulance, but she knew House wouldn't have it, but she hadn't ever been in this situation before and she was suddenly drawing a blank on what she should do. "House, what should I do? Tell me what to do." She said with desperation.

House grabbed her right hand and held on to it as if all the answers in the world where written on it, and opened his eyes. "Carotid... message." He said and then looked at her.

When she felt his hand in hers she was taken aback, but then it suddenly hit her how scared he must be if he was holding her hand and she could feel her tears starting to fall. When she look at his face he told her to do a carotid message she could see all the pain and the tears falling from his eyes she had almost completely lost it, but he needed her, right here right now and she nodded and started to message his artery in is neck with her left hand since it didn't seem like she was going to be getting her right hand back. She could tell that his pulse was much higher than it had been before and she now wondered if it would have been better to call the ambulance anyway.

House could feel his whole body start to tense up and his back curl away from the floor as the rest of his body went stiff from the amount of pain it was in, and for the second time tonight he found himself wondering this was it. He squeezed Cuddy's hand harder as he saw her trying her best to get his blood pressure under control. "Important ….. stuff... piano." He said hoping she would understand because it was too hard to talk anymore.

Cuddy looked at him confused and then looked towards the piano and back at him. "Like medicine, do you have some of those tranquilizers for your leg in the piano House?" Cuddy felt almost relieved, like there was some hope for making this better.

House shook his head and closed his eyes, his breathing was even more labored and as the pain refused to cease. "Will" He said as he let out a breath.

"Will...what?" Cuddy said as she looked at him trying to figure it out and then he opened his eyes and looked at her so scared and in pain, and she understood. "Oh there's no way I'm letting you off that easy, do have any idea how many clinic hours you still owe me?" Cuddy tried to sound light hearted but her tears kind of spoiled it.

House's lip curled slightly even though he was gritting his teeth, because now clinic hours didn't sound that bad, actually it sounded heavenly compared to what he was going through right now. "Promise... be there... for Wilson?" He looked at her with begging eyes.

Cuddy's lip shook as she tried to speak. "Of course... yes, I'll be there for him when something happens to you, but that isn't tonight okay? Listen I'll make you a deal, you make it through the night I'll take you out to eat anywhere you want, on me... and... I'll even let you have a pair of my underwear, any one you want, hell you can have all of them, just stay with me alright?"

House let out a weak laugh.

"Then you wont have to get your team to steal them from me." Cuddy said with a smirk. As she could finally feel his blood pressure going down, and started to stroke his cheek.

House's body finally seemed to break free of the pain for a second and started to relax until he felt the nausea flood his senses, and he pushed Cuddy away with all the strength he had and grabbed the plastic bag his food had been in and started vomiting so violently his whole body seemed to lurch as he pushed the food from his stomach.

At first Cuddy had been angry at him pushing her until she saw why and then her anger melted. She looked away from him trying to give him some privacy and looked at her hands and then she saw that they and her shirt had blood all over them. She quickly looked at House and noticed how his left arm was now covered in blood from the cut and the floor beneath him was smeared with it too. So she got up to find medical supplies.

House was taking a short break between vomiting and noticed that his arm was bleeding pretty bad now due to the high blood pressure from earlier. "Backpack." He said as he watched her get up.

"Okay." Cuddy said as she got up and grabbed his backpack sitting it down beside him as he finish vomiting.

"Can you bring the trash can in here along with two hand towels, one rag, one glass of water, one empty glass, and some mouth wash?" House looked at her as he laid back down on his back exhausted, and then added "please."

Cuddy nodded and left to get the items. When she returned the first thing House did was put the bag full of vomit into the trash then he rinsed his mouth with mouth wash, spitting it into the trash as well. Then he slowly dragged himself back toward the couch and used it to lean back against. "You might want to leave." House said seriously.

"You want me to leave, still?" Cuddy said obviously hurt by the statement.

"Cuddy.." House began but was cut off by Cuddy.

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm so sorry I questioned your pain, but I can't leave, please House, you could have died," Cuddy was pleading and trying to keep from crying.

House looked down and licked his lips, "I've got to pee...and well I can't stand... so the empty cup." He felt completely embarrassed and ashamed at being this pathetic. He glance up at her quickly and then back down hoping he wouldn't have to explain anymore.

"Oh," Cuddy hadn't even thought about that, but it did make sense. She could see his the embarrassment on his face. "Do... you need any help?"

House shook his head, "No I think I'll be okay." He said as he still avoided her eyes. He waited a few moments but she didn't move. "So unless you want to watch?" He said as he held the cup in his hand.

"That's okay, I think I'll just give you a little privacy. Just let me know when your done?" Cuddy said as she bit her lip and walked into the hall. Wow how much have I screwed up today, she thought as she thought about how stupid it had been to fight with him when he was like this. She had only made things worse, pushed him to get himself hurt even more. She started to wonder what she would have done if he had died when she finally heard he say, "I'm all done mommy."


	5. Chapter 5: A Sleeping House

With that she dried her eyes and let out a deep sigh and walked back into the leaving room to find him with a glass almost full of urine beside him and him pulling out medical supplies out of his backpack. He had alcohol, gauze, ointment, stitching needles, ultra thin fishing line, tweezers, cotton balls, syringes, and even more stuff in the pockets that he didn't take out. "Jesus House, do you have a whole hospital in there?"

"No, but that would be pretty awesome wouldn't it?" He said as he pulled the needle and cover of one of the syringes off and into the trash and fill it with alcohol.

"You carry this with you ever where... why would you do that?" She looked at him trying to understand.

House looked at her and shrugged, "You never know when you'll need it." Then he put the opening of the syringe in his cut and pushed out the alcohol gritting his teeth a little and started to clean the wound with the rag.

Cuddy watched him cleaning the wound, "So how long have you been carrying your own medical kit with you?"

"A while," He answered as he was treading his needle.

"Because of the bus crash?" Cuddy said and then noticed he was about to stitch himself up. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"Since way before the crash, and I'm about to stitch my arm. I figured the needle and the line would make that clear but..." House was once again cut off by Cuddy.

"You can't stitch your own arm House, just let me do it." Cuddy said as she moved to sit beside him.

"I've done this a lot... when's the last time that you even did stitches?" House said as he kept the needle out of her reach.

"It's been a while, but I can still do stitches, and what do you mean by a lot?" Cuddy asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"Things happen." House said vaguely and started stitching himself with small close stitched like those of a veteran plastic surgeon.

Cuddy watched as he was stitching and was just as surprised as she was worried about how good he was at stitching his own body, especially with only the one hand.

"So is that why you carry a hospital in your bag... because things happen?" She asked trying to sound as if she just wanted to kill the silence.

House finish his stitch before he spoke, "You could say that," he said as if bored by the conversation and started on another stitch.

"Well you didn't keep medical supplies in you backpack at college right?" She asked as she watched him work.

"Actually I did, why does this matter so much?" He said as he stopped working on his arm and looked at her with irritation.

Cuddy looked at him passively, "So, did you cut yourself back then too?"

House gave an annoyed laugh and continued his work. "No, I only started cutting a couple of years after the infarction, when the spasms would get too bad, once or twice when I detoxed." House finish up his stitches and leaned back on the couch and tried to relax. Then he felt Cuddy's soft fingers on his arm.

"You mind if I look at it and cover it up?" Cuddy asked tentatively.

"Knock yourself out." House said as he closed his eyes

She could tell he was exhausted, so she tried to be extra soft with him as she moved his arm and looked it over. Every stitch was perfect, she couldn't help smiling a little. It was so like him to have the right answer and the perfect techniques to procedures no one should ever have to do. She cleaned his wound with the cotton and alcohol and then wrapped it with the gauze and taped it. He looked so peaceful she wondered if he was asleep. She looked his arm over rubbing it with her hand as she studied the very light scars that covered his arm, there were thirty six. Cuddy quietly got the glass of water and dampened the hand towel and tried to get all of the blood off of his skin and the floor.

House was trying to relax his body as much as possible considering he was so sore and his leg was still hurting, nothing like it had been, but it wasn't pleasant. It had seemed like forever since he had felt someone be this caring with him. He concentrated on the smell of her perfume and the feel of her hand on his arm, so when she stopped he opened his eyes to see her on her hands and knees cleaning the floor. House smiled, it was so like her to try and clean up his mess, and the view of her ass in those low rider jeans with the top of her thong barely showing wasn't bad either.

Cuddy looked the floor over and was finally convinced it was clean and turned back to find House looking at her with a small smirk on his face. "How long have you been up?"

"I just had my eyes closed, but if you were wondering how long I've been watching you, then ever since you started scrubbing. Good job by the way." He said with the smirk still in place. "I never thought I would be jealous of a pair of jeans, bravo Cuddy, bravo."

Cuddy smiled and shook her head, "What did I tell you about staring at my ass?"

House mocked trying to remember, "Do it often and try not to get caught? I guess I failed the second part, but I passed the first part with flying colors."

Cuddy stood up and started picking up. "That's not what I said, House."

"Well what do you expect from someone who's had a scull fracture and DBS in the last year." House said as he noticed how badly soiled her shirt was with his blood. "You know I have a whole closet full clothes back there if you would like to change, unless you just like being covered in my bodily fluids."

Cuddy stopped straightening and looked at him, it was rare for House to be courteous. "Um... are you sure?"

House could tell she was surprised by his offer, "Yeah, sure... mi casa, a su casa."

Cuddy smiled at him, "Thanks, I'll just go and get changed, now you be good alright?" Cuddy said in a motherly tone.

"Never!" House exclaimed as Cuddy walked back to the bedroom.

In a few moment she came back wearing a red tank top that had "My eyes are this way", and an arrow pointing up. Houses smile faded and he stared at her.

"I thought you could use some direction, so what do you think?" She said with a smirk as she walked over to him.

House was quiet as he reached up and barely touched the shirt as if it might burn him and closed his eyes swallowing hard.

Cuddy watched him and realized something was wrong so she got down on her knees at his side. "House, is it your leg again?"

House opened his eyes to see her beside him, "No... it nothing." House said as he looked her in the eyes.

Cuddy looked down to notice he was softly touching the shirt again. "House, if it's the shirt I can go and change, I just thought it was funny."

House looked down at the shirt and shook his head, "No it looks good on you... its just... nothing." He said and looked away at the coffee table.

"House, please just tell me." Cuddy said as she rubbed his arm.

House looked at her hand, and then the shirt, and finally at her. "That's the last thing Stacy wore before she left... see, I told you it's stupid, I mean it's just a shirt." House said as he stared at it still rubbing the hem of it with his thumb.

Cuddy was speechless as she saw House's hand slowly start to rub her left side.

"It was a Friday night, and we had great sex, then she gave me my medicine and said she had some work to finish, and the next morning... when I woke up she was just gone." House looked at Cuddy as if he still was trying to understand, "Everything that was her's except this shirt was gone. No note, nothing. She called Wilson, but she wouldn't take my calls. Five years and she just took off after giving me sleeping medication."

Cuddy knew that Stacy had left suddenly, but never imagined that she had left him like that. She had always thought it had been a fight. And the more she thought about it the more she felt sick.

"When did she let you know she was leaving the hospital?" House asked watching her face.

Cuddy shook her head, "Wednesday"

"So I guess she just called in a couple of days since she had already gone to her parents." House said as he looked at the shirt again still rubbing the fabric.

"No, the …. oh god, House. I didn't know, I swear I didn't know." Cuddy's face was scarlett red as she looked at the confusion on his face. "She told me Friday would be her last day... she said she was leaving, but I swear, I didn't know she hadn't told you."

House's mouth opened in aw, and he blinked as he processed in the information that just didn't seem to want to go into his brain. He had always thought that it had be spontaneous, but now. House let go of the shirt as if it had finally burned him like he had thought it would. "Wednesday..."

Cuddy couldn't imagine what was going on in Houses head. Some how she had managed to make things worse for him, when tonight had already been an impossible night. She noticed his hair was pasted to his head from the sweat, large dark circle under his eyes, the slight shake of his hand, and the way that his body seemed to be so tired and weak. She had always assumed Stacy was the one that had been wronged, but now seeing how hurt House still was, she felt anger towards Stacy. "House... I'm so sorry."

"Why, it wasn't your fault. She always was a planner, I guess I should have figured..." House just let the sentence fade as he shook his head and looked back at the shirt as if it had betrayed him.

Cuddy looked down and pulled the shirt off not even caring that it left her with only her bra on the top.

House looked at her confused and startled. "What are you doing?"

"I just didn't want to wear that shirt anymore." Cuddy said as she tossed the shirt in the trash. "Oops."

House shook his head and gave her a small smile, "If you're trying to seduce me, this really is bad timing."

Cuddy gave him a fake pout. "Darn, and I was still hoping to get my money's worth out of you."

"Really? The whole almost dying and throwing up didn't discourage you any?" House said with cocked eye brow.

"You forgot the being in so much pain you can hardly move." Cuddy said as she watched him look at her bra with fascination.

"No, I figure you have some whips and handcuffs in your closet." House said as he looked her in the eyes, "I know you have an evil controlling side." House gave her a sly smile.

Cuddy smiled and shook her head, "You wish pervert, now off to bed with you." Cuddy said with a smirk.

"Yes, Mistress," House said in a low voice as he dragged himself backwards towards the bedroom being careful to not hit his leg on anything. House looked up at the bed and started to tackle the task of getting on it when Cuddy walked in.

"Hey I can help you with that." She said as she got on his right side and then helped pull him up to the bed.

"Thanks," House said as he seemed to study the mattress or anything that wasn't Cuddy. "For everything, thanks, sorry you wasted your night on me, it couldn't have been fun." He said as he turned himself right in the bed and lifted his right leg to the bed then took two vicodin. House heard her take some steps and figured she'd left when he felt the left side of the bed go down. House looked over to see her crawl over to him on the bed. "Cuddy, what are you..." House's face was scared and confused then he was silenced by Cuddy putting her finger on his lip in a silencing motion.

"I just want to stay until you go to sleep, make sure you don't have anymore trouble with your leg, before I go. Okay?" She asked as she looked at him, and was surprised to see that he had seemed a little afraid at first.

House nodded and pulled his sweater off over his head tossing it in the corner of the room and pulled his cover up over his body. "Taking the Stacy way out I see, at least you told me." House said as he laid on his back looking at the ceiling.

Cuddy looked at him with shocked eyes, "House... I wasn't thinking of it in that way." She said as watched him.

"Don't …. just don't, it was meant to be a joke, it's kind of funny when you think about it, right?" House said distantly as he stared at the ceiling.

"No, I don't actually. I don't find it funny at all." Cuddy said as she started to stroke his hair back.

House looked at her with a surprised and confused look then closed his eyes. "Me either, but I figured it had to be funny to someone else, like when a person first drives a standard and keeps messing up." House took some deep breaths and found that Cuddy stroking his hair was relaxing. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Cuddy smiled down at him. "My mom use to do this when I was feeling bad, didn't yours."

House thought about it, "Maybe when I was really young, but my dad..." House let out a deep sigh. "It feels good, …. I think its putting …..me to... sleep." He was barely talking anymore as it was more of a mumbled whisper.

Cuddy kept stroking his hair as she could see his body start to completely relax. "I'm going to try to make it better House." She said as she could tell he was finally asleep. She quietly got off the bed and grabbed a tee shirt from his closet. She put all the cloths and towels in the hamper and made sure everything looked clean before she left. By the time she got home it was already 4:45 am, and she was exhausted as she finally laid down to get some sleep.


	6. Chapter 6: Mass Confusion

House slowly opened his eyes and let out a deep breath and dry swallowed two vicodins. His entire body was aching and his leg was screaming as his right hand softly messaged the thigh muscle. After twenty minutes House could feel the vicodin finally start to work and decided it was time to see what time it actually was. House was surprised to see it was 9:45 am. He had actually slept a solid five and a half hours. He rubbed his hand through his hair and found himself in deep thought about last night when Cuddy was doing the same thing, and decided it was time to get up and get ready.

Cuddy woke up 9:00 am and jumped out of the bed quickly and got dressed, luckily her regular babysitter was already there and had fed Rachel. She called her assistant and told them she was going to be out of the office today, but to call her if they needed her. She had a lot she wanted to do today, but the first thing on the agenda was spending some quality time with her daughter, and letting the babysitter know she would need her until seven tonight.

House was in the clinic with a mother and her teenage boy dressed in goth.

"I had to have my son drive me here. I feel dizzy and like I'm starving." The woman shook her head in confusion.

House tried not to smile. "Let me guess, you had a brownie this morning?"

The woman looked at him with an awed look, "How...how did you know that?"

House looked over at the son, who was now avoiding his gaze. "I'm guessing your son made them."

"Um.. yes, him and some friends made them last night for a snack. Is that relevant?" The woman was still confused.

House didn't understand how some parents could be so clueless. He wanted to call her a moron, but he bit his tongue. "I'm going to need a urine sample from you and your son." House said in the most professional voice he could manage.

"Do you think it could be contagious?" The woman said scared look.

House stopped himself from laughing. "I can't say until I run the test, but luckily it doesn't take long. I don't think it's anything too serious though. The bathroom is right there, I'll be back in a few minutes to collect the samples." With that House left the room and grabbed another file from Nurse Beth. "How the hell do these people make it to the Hospital?"

Beth smiled and shrugged as she watched his expression turn to a grimace.

"Really? I'm trying to be nice and this is what you give me, another case of crouch rot?" House said as he closed the file.

Beth just kept smiling, "That's for the last couple of years you've been a complete ass."

House narrowed his eye's at her, "You're going on my naughty list." And then called out the next patients name, who happened to be a 67 year old male. "Seriously, I'm going to get you back for this some day, you know that right." He whispered to Beth and then took the patient into a room.

Cuddy had gotten a lot done by the time Rachel's nap time had come and gone. She had went to the park with her daughter, stocked up on groceries, gotten to talk to a pain management specialist about House, and finally gotten her laundry done. "Hey baby, did you have a good nap?" Cuddy asked in a soft sweet voice and smiled as the baby cooed. "You want to go with me to visit a friend, huh?" The baby started wiggling, and Cuddy laughed and pickup her daughter.

It was a little past two when she was finally standing with Rachel in front of Houses door. Cuddy took a deep breath and knocked. After a couple of minutes she got the key out from her purse and unlocked the door. "House?" She said as she looked around and found that everything looked pretty much like she had left it. "Come on Rachel, lets see if we can found him." Cuddy picked up the handle of the baby carrier and walked in to the apartment closing the door behind her. She was hoping that House was still asleep, but she had a sinking feeling in her stomach that something might be wrong. What if he had another bad attack after I left. She stopped at this bedroom door, and gave a worried look at Rachel, "I'm sure every things fine." Cuddy slowly opened the door and was shocked to find that he wasn't there. Cuddy looked around a little more and decided she should leave before he found her in his place. On her way home she decided she would call the Hospital just to make sure everything was going well, and to check if House was there, although she doubted that after the night he had he would have gone in.

"Hi Beth, I just wanted to know how everything was going." Cuddy said as she had the phone on speaker.

"Everything's okay, it's just been weird up here." Beth said.

"Weird how?" Cuddy asked her face turned from relaxed to worried.

"House has been in the clinic all day, and I haven't gotten one complaint." Beth said with amazement.

"House is there... in the clinic?" Cuddy said with surprise.

"Yeah, he's been on fire today. He's already seen sixty patients and at least tweleve of them have told me he was the best doctor, they've ever had. One even told me he had the best attitude they had seen, can you believe that?" Beth said happy to finally have someone to tell.

"No," Cuddy said as she turned the car to go to the Hospital, "Are you positive he isn't paying off the patients again?" Cuddy asked.

"Nope, because a couple of them couldn't even pay the co-pay today." Beth said.

Cuddy bit her lip as she finally decided to ask the question she had been wondering since she had found out that House was at the Hospital. "How does he look? I mean, does he seem... alright?"

"The same as usual, I guess, well actually... I'm sure it's nothing," Beth said.

Cuddy's heart started racing. "Whatever it is, just tell me Beth, okay?" Cuddy wanted to scream at the red light, but didn't since Rachel was in the back seat.

"His leg seems to be bothering him a little more than usual. He actually sat down by the nurses station for ten minutes, he said he was afraid of catching stupid, but …. he was sweating, and rubbing his leg, but after the break he got right back up and he seemed fine. He hasn't even stopped to take a lunch," Beth said.

Cuddy shook her head, "Thanks Beth, I appreciate the update."

"Anytime Dr. Cuddy," Beth said.

House limped out of exam room three with a man in his late thirties. "Like I told you it's the best golf course in town, you should give me a call and we can play a game sometime. I doubt your leg would even slow you down."

House put on a fake smile, "Oh yeah, it doesn't even hurt."

The guy patted him on the back as if they were best friends. "Great, well here's my card, just give a call on your next day off. Hey maybe I'll even ride with you, I'll definitely get a better parking spot," The guy said with a happy laugh as he walked away.

House's smile faded into a grimice as he watched the man leave the building and popped a Vicodine in his mouth, swallowing hard. He rubbed his forhead and hoped the day would pass quickly.

"It doesn't even hurt?" Cuddy asked from behind him.

House turned quickly surprised to find Cuddy behind him. "What would you have me say?" House said as he walked around her to get another file.

Cuddy grabbed him by his left arm, "I need to talk to you," her voice was stern and her posture said she was angry.

House had to fight the urge to pull his arm away as she grabbed the place he had cut last night. "Whatever you think I did you're wrong, I've been playing good with all the little morons today. So let go of me," Houses eyes were right on hers in a challenging manner.

Cuddy's grip tightened as her frustration grew, and then she noticed how his jaw clench and the skin under his eyes tighten, then she looked down and saw where her hand was and let go. "I... I forgot."

House looked at her with narrowed eyes, "Sure you did," and made another attempt to walk around her.

Cuddy's eyes widened as she stepped in front of him to block his path, "You think I want to hurt you?"

House took a quick glance around and then looked at her with serious eyes, "Why not, I'm an ass right? It makes sense. Now can I get back to work?"

Cuddy blinked a couple of times as she realized he was serious. "No, I'm the boss around here, and when I said I needed to talk to you, it wasn't up for discussion."

House rolled his eyes and limped back into exam room three with Cuddy close on his heels. "I'm telling you I didn't do anything, I've been here all day, just ask the nurses," House said as soon as the door closed.

Cuddy put her hands on her hips as she stared him down. "What the hell are you doing here?"

House looked at her with mock confusion, "Oh, I see how this could be difficult for you to understand, see I'm working, when most doctors do that it means they see patients and fix them, not sit at a desk all day."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "I know what you're doing, I mean why are you working?"

House let out a exasperated sigh and shook his head. He looked at her with serious confusion, "Isn't this what you wanted?"

"What I wanted?" Cuddy asked as she was trying to figure out what the hell was going on in his head.

House's face softened slightly as he licked his lips and started looking around the room, "You... were nice last night... and no ones nice without motive, so I figured that this is what you wanted," he was now looking directly in her eyes.

Cuddy couldn't believe House's reasoning, "You've got a sick view of the world, do you know that?"

House straighten his shoulders, "It's called a realistic view of the world, no one goes out of their way unless they are trying to get something out of it. It's human nature."

"Okay, then why is Wilson so nice to you?" Cuddy said as she sat down ready to hear his explanation.

"Because he needs to feel needed, and I'll let him do things for me like buy me lunch. Also he gets an ego boost just being around me." Cuddy looked at him confused so he explained. "He's the good guy, and well, I'm not. So he gets to feel a sense of superiority because he's a better person than me because he says nice things, while I'm just a miserable ass who every hates." House gave a small chuckle and started mocking a female nurse, "How the hell can he stand being around House, he must be so patient and understanding, maybe I should sleep with him."

Cuddy looked at him with complete shock, "You really think that's the only reason he's nice to you?"

House shook his head, "No, I don't think that's why he's nice I know it is. Our friendship works for him so he deals with me then he gets into a realationship and he's gone until the relationship starts to get old and she doesn't need him as much, then it's back to the old reliable cripple." House said with a little bitterness in his voice.

"He didn't dump you when he started dating Amber. He tried to make time for both of you," Cuddy stated.

"Your right, she wasn't as needy from the beginning so he kept me around. But he always choose her over me," House said with a little smirk.

Cuddy shook her head, "I don't think he chose her over you, I think your just insecure."

House's eyes boarded into her, "He asked me to do a procedure that could kill me or very well leave me brain dead, to try to save her. Don't tell me he didn't choose."

Cuddy saw a small flash of anger and hurt across his eyes and then it was gone. She swallowed as she knew that there wasn't any argument that she could say that would erase that.

"So, what is it you want?" House said as he sat down on the exam room table and started rubbing his leg slightly.

"I want you to go home and get some rest. Have you even eaten anything?" Cuddy said with serious concern.

"Yep, had a huge lunch, god am I full." House said as he smiled.

Cuddy stood up and stared him down, "Really? Because Nurse Beth said you hadn't taken a lunch."

House rolled his eyes and gave her a irritated look, "You know that even though I joke about you being my mom, that you aren't really right? And by the way I'm not doing a seminar, I don't care how nice and caring you try to be."

Cuddy walked closer to him, "I don't want anything from you House! Believe it or not I'm not doing this to get something out of you, I'm doing this because I care and even though you don't act human, you still need to eat to live, just like all of us other mortals."

"Do you really expect me to just take off every morning I have a bad night? Do you have any idea how much time I would miss! And as far as you caring, that's a recent development, so why don't you quit the bull shit and tell me what you want!" House said as he stood up and leaned back against the table for support.

"I've always cared, you self righteous idiot. And I'm not saying you have to take off every time it happens just the times you almost die," Cuddy said with determination and her arms crossed.

House stood up straight, "Really? Because it was hard for me to tell with all the yelling, jokes about me not being able to run, and making me detox cold turkey. And even thought last night was a first for you, it wasn't for me. It's been worse and it will be again, welcome to my world as a miserable cripple. Now can I go?"

"It's been worse?" Cuddy asked now all the anger was out of voice.

House was starting to feel uncomfortable, "I need to get back to work." House said as he attempted to walk around her.

Cuddy stopped him by walking in front of him and putting a hand on his chest. "How much worse House?"

House looked her straight in the eyes, "It's none of your damn business."

Cuddy shook her head slightly, "House... I'm trying to help you. Let me help."

"How did you get into my house last night?" House asked looking down at her.

"What?" Cuddy said completely caught off guard by the question.

House's eyes narrowed on her, "Last night my doors were locked, so how did you get in?"

"I stole your keys and made a copy." Cuddy said quickly hoping he would believe her.

"Why?" House asked.

Cuddy lowered her head, "I was going to set some traps for you, like I did yesterday." Cuddy looked up at him, "I never meant to really hurt you House, I didn't know."

"I'm fine!" House said in a raised voice.

Cuddy's anger rose as House kept dismissing worry, "You call what happened last night fine! House I thought you were going..."

House covered her mouth with his hand before she could continue. "Shut up, I'd like to keep my private live private." He said with a low soft voice, and he slowly started removing his hand. "Why are you doing this? What do you want?" He asked with a worried and confused expression.

She knew he wasn't going to believe him if she said she cared, "Tonight... let me take you to dinner, like I promised I would." Cuddy rubbed her hand on his chest. "Please, it'll make me feel better."

"Fine," House said with a sigh.

Cuddy felt relieved, and smiled at him, "Great, I'll be at your place at seven. Anyway I might be able to convince you to go home."

House laughed, "What kind of boss are you? I finally start acting like model employee and you can't wait for me to go home."

Cuddy gave him a smirk with a cocked eyebrow, "Your scaring the nurses. They assume your up to something"

House smiled, "See, this is why I can't be nice, it causes mass confusion."


	7. Chapter 7: Going for a Ride

It was four when Wilson had finally decided to stop by Cuddy's and see how thing had went last night.

Cuddy opened the door and was surprised to see Wilson standing there looking nervous. It took her all of five seconds to go from surprised to pissed. "I guess we have some things to talk about," Cuddy said in a stern voice.

Wilson looked like a kid who had just been sent to the principals office. "So I take it that you went to House's last night," Wilson said as he stepped into her house and took off his coat.

"I expect him to be and idiot and not tell me about things like this, but you?" Cuddy shook her head in frustration. "How could you not tell me he was going through this?"

Wilson shrugged in a defeated manner, "He didn't want anyone to know. House hardly trust anyone as it is, do you really think if I had told you and he had found out he would have realized that it was because I cared, or do you think he would have seen it as a reason to cut himself off even more from everyone?"

Cuddy let out a frustrated sigh, she knew that Wilson had a point. "You could have told me without him finding out." Cuddy tried.

"Do you really think that me telling you about it would have had the same effect on you as seeing it?" Wilson asked truthfully.

"No," Cuddy said as she sat down on the couch and looked down.

Wilson looked at Cuddy with sad eyes, he remember how he felt when he first found out 3 ½ years ago. "So, how bad was it?" Wilson asked softly.

When Cuddy looked up at him her eyes were moist. "It was horrible. He... He was in so much pain..." Cuddy shook her head, "I could tell he was trying to hide how bad it was. He.. oh Wilson, he's cutting himself," Cuddy said desperately.

"It was one of those nights," Wilson said as he looked at his feet.

Cuddy looked at him with anger and slapped his leg, "One of those nights! You knew he was cutting himself and you didn't think you should tell me! And I thought you were the reasonable one!"

"Hey he tried medications, they didn't work, and he doesn't do it all the time." Wilson put his hands up as if surrendering, "I'm not saying that I think it's a good solution, but it helps him, and if you think the beginning of it was bad, you don't want to see the second half not on those days."

Cuddy thought about this, that meant House was lying when he said the second half was easier. "He said that it's been worse Wilson, acted like I was making a big deal out of nothing, how much worse could it be?"

"Well that depends, how bad did it get?" Wilson ask seriously.

"I got mad at him, started yelling at him when I found out that he had cut himself on purpose. I was just so mad, and he started having a spasm, and I told him I thought it was an act." Cuddy looked at Wilson with pleading eyes. "I know I shouldn't have said it, but with House... I just wasn't sure and then I said I wouldn't leave until I saw him walk..." Cuddy stopped and looked down at the floor.

"And of course the idiot he is, he actually tried to walk," Wilson said with irritation.

Cuddy looked back up and nodded. "He fell and hit his thigh on the coffee table on his way down. He could hardly talk. I thought he, I was afraid he was..." Cuddy swallowed as she didn't' want to finish the sentence. "I gave him a carotid message, he told me his Will was in the piano." She shook her head trying to push the images away. "But, some how, he finally started breathing better, and then he acted as if nothing had happened." Cuddy looked at Wilson with confusion, "Who does that?"

"Someone that's had a lot worse nights." Wilson said in exasperated voice. "You want to know how bad it's gotten? I've had to do CPR more time than I can count, and... there have been times I've had to shock him."

Cuddy looked at him with a horrid expression, "He had to go to the Hospital? How did I not find out? How the hell did he get them to release him?" Cuddy said as she started rambling.

"No, he didn't go to the Hospital, then he might not scare the crap out of me. No, no... House has some portable paddles under his bed along with a respiration set up." Wilson looked mad as he thought about it, "I wouldn't have even found out about it if I hadn't have moved in with him for a few weeks during my last divorce, the thing is he already had all of the equipment." Wilson looked back at Cuddy, "I think he was shocking himself."

Cuddy's mouth was hanging open. "But... he... he couldn't? Right? I mean that …. that would be crazy."

"Yeah, well you have a point, I mean that doesn't sound like House at all." Wilson said in a sarcastic voice.

Cuddy thought about it all for a couple of minutes.

"I don't think he tell me every time he has a bad night. He usually had them twice a week when I was living with him, but he only call me 3 maybe 4 times a month." Wilson said as he waited to see if Cuddy might have gotten anything out of House.

"He told me once or twice a week." Cuddy stood up and looked at Wilson, "He's going to die if this keeps up."

Wilson looked at her and nodded in agreement with a solemn look, "I know, I've told him. He just says that everyone dies someday."

Cuddy felt like there was something Wilson still wasn't telling her. "Do you think he doesn't think it can be any better, or do you think he wants to die?"

Wilson thought about three times he had found House in compromising positions. He was pretty sure House had attempted suicide, but he had never asked, because deep down he didn't want to know. Wilson shook his head, "I don't know, maybe you should ask him."

House limped to his door and opened it to reveal Cuddy who was wearing low cut red shirt, dark jeans, and red heels. "Hey, you're early, let me guess you wanted to yell some more." House said as he stepped back to let her in.

"I could have just missed you're tasteless comments about my ass and boobs." Cuddy said with sarcastic tone.

House looked at her with a smirk, "Is that your way of saying you like it when I talk dirty to you?"

Cuddy blushed a little, "That's not what I said, and I was being sarcastic, if you couldn't tell."

House's smirk stayed in place, "You never actually said no, and if we are going to do this, we're doing it my way, so here," he said handing her a red womens helmet.

"Ohhh no, I'm not getting on that death trap with you," she said pushing the helmet away.

"Fine, then it looks like dinners off," House said as he opened the door for her to leave.

Cuddy looked at the helmet and then at the door trying to make up her mind. "If I agree to ride with you on that stupid bike, you have to promise to drive safe alright?"

House gave her a overly big smile, "Of course I will," he said in an all to innocent voice, as he tried to give her the helmet again.

Cuddy grabbed the helmet and eyed House, "I'm serious House." She said as she walked out the door with him.

House mounted and started the bike then snapped his cane into place and gave Cuddy an expectant look. Cuddy walked over nervously and sat down on the back seat. "You might want to hold on tight, remember your riding with a pill-popping cripple on a bike that can get up to 150." House said with a smile and took off.

When the bike finally stopped at their destination Cuddy's heart was pumping so fast she could hear it in her ears. She peeled herself off of the back of House and looked at the concrete as though it was a long lost friend. She slowly slid off the bike to find he legs were shaky. "You said you'd drive safe!" Cuddy snapped as she took a wobbly step.

House held on to her right arm in a soft but supporting grasp. "I never even broke the speed limit," he argued.

"Three of those lights were yellow! Do you know how much more of a risk you are of being in a accident when your riding a motorcycle?" Cuddy said in a slightly panicked voice.

House rolled his eyes, "They had just turned yellow, I had plenty of time. You know I already feel sorry for the hell Rachel is going to endure," he said as he tried to help Cuddy walk.

"I can walk by myself," Cuddy said as she pushed his hand away from her.

House gave her an irritated look, "I was just trying to help."

"Like I need help from YOU to walk," Cuddy said spitefully.

"Nice one," he said in a flat voice as he walked ahead of her to restaurant door, which was locked. There was a sign on the door that stated the restaurant would be closed for the week due to remodeling. House knocked loudly on the door anyway with his cane.

Cuddy tried to stop him by grabbing his cane. "Hey, it's closed we can find another place House."

House gave her a daring look and pulled the cane from her continuing to knock. Then from the back of the restaurant a light flickered on and a man started to approach the door. Cuddy let out a sigh, already working out an apology in her head as the man started to unlock the door.

"Hey can't you read the... Oh my god Doc?" The man turned his head back in the restaurant, "Hey Richie! You aren't going to believe what the cat drug in! Ay, Richard!"

Soon another man came from the back, "What the hell are you yelling about?" Richard yelled across the room.

"Come here, look it's Doc." The man yelled back.

House gave a chuckle at the brothers, while Cuddy was still trying to figure out exactly what was going on.

Soon Richard came to the door and looked at House. "Well your a sight for sore eyes, get out of the way Marty, let the man through." Richard said as he held the door open for Cuddy and House while Marty turned on the lights to the rest of the restaurant and disappeared through the back door again.

Richard looked House and Cuddy over as the light filled the room and then looked back at the cane House was using. "So when did you turn in to a pimp?" Richard said as he gestured to the cane.

House gave an amused laugh and said, "Actually she's paying so I guess that would make her my pimp."

Richard looked at Cuddy now studying her somewhat, "Well.. well, well, so who is the beautiful young lady with you tonight," Richard said smoothly as he gave Cuddy a charming smile.

Cuddy blushed slightly and extended her hand, "I'm Doctor Lisa Cuddy, it's nice to meet you...?" Cuddy waited for Richard to fill in the blank. He was around six foot, olive skinned, and had broad shoulders.

"The name's Richard Backster, but most people call me Richie." Richard said while he shook her hand and smiled.

House coughed, "So Richie, where's the old ball and chain?"

Richard let go of Cuddy's hand and laughed at House, "Fine, I get it, I'll back off. Sarah and the kids are actually in Italy for the month visiting the old family."

"Oh my word, I didn't believe it when Marty told me, but there you are! Oh come over here and give me a hug, you know it's rude to make an old lady walk to far." An older woman said as she walked towards the group.

House smiled and walked to her and leaned his cane against a table to give her a full hug. "How you doing Martha?" House asked as he was still being hugged to death by the old woman.

"Since when do you call me Martha, to you it Mama." Martha said as she finally pulled back and took a look at him. "You feel rather thin, has Stacy been starving you?" Richard coughed loudly and tilted his head toward Cuddy so his mom would notice her. "Oh, well hello dear, I don't think I've met you before," Martha said as she made her way over to her.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lisa Cuddy, I work with House." Cuddy said not wanting them to get the wrong idea as she extended her hand. Martha was plump, with long black hair, and was covered in flour.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Lisa." Martha said as she pulled Cuddy into a hug. House smiled as Cuddy looked at him a little bewildered over Martha's shoulder.

When Martha finally let go, Cuddy looked down to find she was now covered in flour as well and she looked again at House who also had a coat of flour from the older woman's hug. He shrugged at her, as if to say, it's just flour.

Richard looked over at Martha, "Hey Mama, I'm going to get our guest something to eat, okay?"

"Yes please do, and get your brother to help you." Martha patted her son on the back and looked House and Cuddy over. "Well have a seat, and tell what you want to drink." Martha said.

House grabbed his cane and said, "Don't bother yourself with us Mama, I can get the drinks."

Martha just now seemed to notice the cane, but didn't mention it, "Listen Greg, I told you to sit. So sit and I'll get the drinks, it's no bother to me." She said as she crossed her arms in a typically motherly fashion.

House walked over to a chair and pulled it out looking at Cuddy. Cuddy looked at him with a confused look and sat down in the chair and then House sat down in the chair next to her. "I'll have the usual," he said with a polite smile.

Cuddy looked at House as if he just grown two head, she had never seen him act like this. "I'll just have some red wine, thank you," Cuddy said with a smile.

As Martha went to get the drinks House nudged her with his elbow. "Are you trying to make me look bad or can you just not help trying to score brownie points."

Cuddy looked at him glad to have a moment alone to try and figure out what was going on. "House who are these people and how do they know you?" Cuddy whispered.

House gave her a evil smirk, he loved the idea of her being in the dark. "Just some friends, I do have friends you know."

"If your such good friends then why do they still think you're with Stacy, and keep looking at your cane as if it's the most unusual thing they've ever seen." Cuddy whispered back at him.

"Now it's not polite to whisper." Martha said as she approached the table with a tray that had a bottle of Scotch and three tumbler glass with ice and a bottle of red wine with two wine glasses.

Cuddy turned as red as the wine as she turned to see Martha. "That's right Lisa, don't say something unless it's something you want to share with the whole class." House said with a smirk.

Martha gave House a stern look, "Oh don't you start talking to her about manners, not stopping by to visit in the last decade is a darn shame."

House started fiddling with his cane as he looked at Martha, "I know." He seemed like he wanted to explain but didn't know where to start.

Martha's face softened, "You know you left something here last time you came by, I've still got it." Martha said with a kind face.

House looked at her a little confused and then his eyes got big and he seemed to pale a little. "Oh, yeah, that. I don't think I'll be needing it, you can just keep it." House said looking at Martha with pleading eyes.

Martha put the drinks down on the table, "Greg, I can't keep that. You should have it, who knows, maybe you'll need it someday." Martha said as she tilted her head slightly in Cuddy's direction.

House felt like all the air had been hit out of him, "No really, I don't, I won't... please just keep it." House's voice was slightly higher and Cuddy now noticed the panic behind it.

Martha put a hand on House's shoulder. "I told you already I can't keep it. I'll just go and get it, I put it some where safe."

House knew that Martha's mind was made up and there wasn't any changing it. He watched each of her footsteps with dread. He wasn't smiling anymore, he had a deep in thought look and he closed his eyes as he remembered one of the reason he had avoided this place so long. House felt Cuddy pull his sleeve on his right arm and looked at her.

"House, what's wrong?" Cuddy asked looking slightly worried.

House just shook his head and looked back to see Martha walking towards the table. When she got there she pulled out a black wooden box from her apron pocket and put it on the table in front of House. House just stared at it with an open mouth and then swallowed hard. He didn't move a muscle towards it.

Then the brothers walked into the room caring plates full of food and stopped at the table seeing that House seemed odd, and then followed his gaze. "Mama, did you really think this was the best time to give him this?" Marty asked as he looked down at House who seem to be oblivious that there was anything in the room but him and the box.

Martha watched House as she fiddled her hands, "I didn't know he was going to react this way to it." Martha said softly.

Richard watched House for a few second, "Hey Greg, the foods here, you ready to eat?" He said loudly.

House looked at him with a blank look and then looked around to realize that everyone in the room was looking at him. "Um... yeah, let's eat." House said as he tried to give a small smile. As Richard and Marty started to put the food on the table House got his knife and pushed the box to his right side, so that it wasn't in front of him. The only noise in the room was that of silverware as everyone began to fill there plates and eat in an awkward silence. Everyone would glance at House from time to time as he seemed to just stare at his food and barely eat.

Martha finally decided it would be best to avoid asking House anything now, seeing as the box had upset him. "So Lisa, you said that you work with Greg. Do you and him have the same specialties?"

Cuddy finished her bite of food and smiled at Martha, she could tell that she was trying her best to release the tension in the room. "No, actually I'm his boss, House is the head of Diagnostic Medicine at the Hospital."

"Oh, well you much feel lucky to have gotten him, he's brilliant." Martha said with a smile

House gave Cuddy a glance wondering what she would say. Cuddy smiled back and looked at him, "Yes, I'm pretty lucky alright, he's the best in the world at his field."

House looked away and started eating again. "I hope he doesn't give you a hard time I know he can be quite a handful at times." Martha responded. House looked back at Cuddy with a smile as he tried not to laugh while waiting for her response.

Cuddy gave a small laugh, "Oh, he tries but it's nothing I can't handle, and it keeps things interesting to say the least."

House wasn't even thinking about the box anymore as felt his appetite return. "So did you meet Greg at work?" Martha asked now even more interested in the girl House had brought with him.

"Um no, I knew him in College, we had a class together." Cuddy said now starting to feel a little nervous.

Martha could tell Cuddy was getting nervous and knew that there was more to the story. "Oh, we're you friends in College?"

House was in heaven, Cuddy was getting grilled by an expert about their relationship, and he found it to be amusing. Cuddy coughed as she thought about how to answer the question. "Um, yes. You could say we were friends."

House almost choked his food as he had started to laugh. Martha looked at him curiously, "Greg is there something you would like to add?"

House looked at Martha and smiled, "Oh, no, we we're just really close back then."

Cuddy stepped slightly on Houses foot as she just continued to smile.

"Well it must be great to have a boss that seems so nice." Martha said looking at House.

House gave a big smile, "Oh yeah, it's great working under her. I can't say that there is anyone else I would like to have above me."

The double innuendos weren't lost on Cuddy and she stepped harder down on his foot. "Well, that's good to hear." Martha said while the two brothers smiled.

A few minutes passed in a comfortable silence. "Greg sweetie, when's the last time you ate?" Martha said as she watched him finish off his third plate of food.

House was making his fourth plate and gave Martha a shrug. "I'm not sure, of course she doesn't allow me to eat at work." House said as he tilted his head towards Cuddy and finish filling his plate. "She says that I'm paid to work not eat, sometimes its even hard to get a restroom break." House said as he looked down.

Martha looked at Cuddy with a frown. "He's kidding," Cuddy said with a smile as she looked at Martha.

"Every now and then a fellow Doctor will have pity on me and give me half their sandwich when she not looking." House said in a serious voice.

Cuddy looked at House with a glare. "House I've never said you couldn't eat at work, and people don't give you their food, you steal it."

House gave Martha a solemn look, "I only steal their food because I'm so hungry, between trying to save my patients and working in the clinic I usually have to work seventy hour weeks."

Cuddy was giving House a death stare, "It's not my fault you get obsessed with your patients, and half the time you're in the clinic I find you asleep."

House gave her a challenging glare, "It's that obsession that saves my patients lives, and as far as the me sleeping in the clinic have you ever considered that maybe it's because I work at least six days a week?"

"Your posted hours are from 9 to 5 Monday thru Friday, I don't require you to work anymore than that." Cuddy said.

House laughed, "Really? Do you know how many times you've called me in during the last couple of months? Four times, I worked three weeks straight!"

"Well did it ever cross your mind to tell me that? Believe it or not I have an entire Hospital to run, so I don't keep up with everyday you work. And if I'm the one that pushes you to work so much, then why did I have to practically drag you out of the Hospital today." Cuddy said with a smile

House rolled his eyes, "I told you already, I was trying to give you what I thought you wanted."

Cuddy laughed, "House you could never know what I would want, because then you'd have to think about someone besides yourself."

"Didn't hear you complain about the desk." House said with irritation.

Cuddy's face softened as she didn't known what to say. She had known it had to be House that got her old desk back to her, but she never had expected him to admit it.

"Now am I going to have to separate you two, or can you play nice." Martha said with a knowing smile.

House and Cuddy looked around and realized that there was still three other people in the room watching them. "I'll be good, but you have to watch her." House said with a smile and continued eating. Cuddy watched him eat and smiled, it had been almost three days since he had eaten anything and she was glad to see him with an appetite. After six minutes House finally put his silverware on his plate and let out a happy sigh. "That's easily the best meal I'm had in the last decade."

Marty opened the bottle of Scotch, "How about a drink then, to good food, and good company." He said as he started filling the mens tumblers and then filled the lady's glasses with wine.

"Here, here." Said Richard who held his glass of Scotch in the air. Everyone followed the gesture and took a sip.


	8. Chapter 8: Secrets, Songs, and Dessert

"Alright, then lets have it." Marty said as he looked House over. "I know you have to have a great story behind what happened to your leg. Some stunt that you tried to pull off, or crazy idea that just went bad, so tell us then."

House bit his lower lip and laughed, out of all the crazy shit he had done it was ironic all of this started by playing golf one afternoon. "I was playing golf." House said as he smiled at the now confused family.

"Wow, the guys you play with obviously take it a bit more seriously than most!" Richard said smiling at him, "So, when do you lose the pimp cane?"

House ran his tongue across his teeth, trying to think of a easy way to tell them, "Well, I've been sporting the look for the last ten years, so it would just be wrong to drop it now." House said in a amusing way.

Everyone's eyes got big at the news. "Honey, what exactly happened?" Martha asked softly.

"Infarction, went to the Hospital, but they thought it was just a cramp, so they released me with some pain meds." House showed no emotion as he talked, as if he was just reading a new patients file. "By the time I realized what it was, there was muscle death in the right thigh. The doctor thought the best shot was having surgery to remove the dead tissue, but there was more muscle death than had been expected." House said and then gave small smile, "And here I am." Cuddy was thankful that her name had been left out.

"There weren't any other options?" Marty asked solemnly.

House tried to stay unemotional, "There were three options of treatment after removing the clot. First was to wait, do nothing for 48 hours and see if the muscle would start to work again from the blood flow; it had a 30% chance of success. Second was amputation, cut the leg off at high-thigh, it had a 85% chance. The third was surgically removing the dead muscle tissue, which had a 65% chance. Stacy and the doctor chose the third option." House said with a clenched jaw.

Richie shook his head as he was thinking about this, "I don't understand, you said that Stacy and the doctor chose the third option, but wasn't it your choice?"

House closed his eyes, and could hear himself saying the same thing when he woke up. _"IT WAS MY CHOICE!" He yelled at Stacy._ He opened his eyes with his hands now in fists. "Only the first and second option were discussed with me, I chose the first."

Marty was now looking at him with a troubled face, "But then why did..."

"Because I was WEAK!" House said in a bitter raised voice. He was breathing heavy and looked down as everyone stared at him surprised by the outburst that seemed to come from no where. "I asked to be put in a chemically induced coma after the first time my heart stopped because of the amount of pain. Stacy made the decision to go with the third option when I was in the coma." House shook his head as the anger filled him. "If I had just been stronger." House gritted his teeth, "I didn't have to go into the coma." His fist were shaking now, "I was a fucking coward, just like my dad always said and it cost me everything!" House said with anger and disgust.

Cuddy looked at House surprised, she had never thought he blamed himself for what happened.

Martha looked at him with troubled eyes, "Greg, I don't ever want to hear you talking about yourself like that again, you hear me?"

House looked up at her a defeated look, "But it was my fault. I took the easy way with the coma if I had just ..."

"You should have been able to trust Stacy to go with your wishes." Martha said in a stern voice.

House shook his head, "No, I knew better, I have a lifetime of experience that says not to trust."

Cuddy felt extremely guilty, he was blaming himself for trusting them. She wanted to tell him what she should have told him years ago, that she was sorry, but she knew now wasn't the time.

"It wasn't your fault for trusting her. It was hard for you, which means you weren't being a coward you were being brave by putting your health in her hands." Martha said with determination. House looked up at her like he didn't believe her, but refrained from saying anything. "Greg, what happened with you and Stacy?"

House looked down from her eyes, "Four weeks after the infarction I woke up one morning and she was gone."

Martha looked outraged, "That cold hearted bitch." Everyone looked at Martha with shock. "Well, what kind of person does that to someone?" Martha asked without apologizing.

House looked at Martha, "It wasn't her fault, I..."

"Don't... don't you dare." Martha said looking him straight in the eyes. "I'm sure you were difficult, I'm sure you complained, I know you blamed her at times, and I also know that you loved her and were going through a hard time. If someone really loves you then they stick by you through the hard stuff, they don't just leave, she was the coward."

House was speechless. He knew what to say when some one criticized him, or thanked him for saving their life, but he had never heard some defend him and say that someone else was to blame. House was relieved and confused.

Martha put her hand on his forearm lightly. "Greg, you are a good man, and you deserve to have someone who will truly love you." House closed his eyes and swallowed hard, as he tried to cover his emotions. He couldn't remember hearing kinder words said to him, and he felt as though he didn't deserve to have them. He wasn't a good person, just ask anyone and they would say he was an ass or a bastard, but no one would say he was a good person. House was shaking his head in disagreement with out even realizing it, and Martha gave his arm a slight squeeze and he opened his eyes. "You are a good man Greg. I'm not saying you're perfect, no one is, but you are a good man."

House still didn't know what to say, so he put his hand on hers and nodded not quite able to meet her eyes. He wasn't convinced by her words but he wanted her to know that the fact she thought he was a good man was appreciated.

Cuddy just watched somewhat shocked, the words Martha had said weren't all that unusual, but they had left House without retort, and he had even shown kindness back. As Cuddy thought about it, she wondered if anyone had ever said such a thing to him, and was fairly certain they hadn't.

Martha smiled at him and looked a the small black wooden box to his right. "So, can I finally look? This whole time I've held on to it, I haven't peek, since you said not to."

House pulled back a little and straightened in his seat. He nodded, "Sure," and watched as she opened the box on the table for all to see. Inside the box were two rings that were the exact same design, one was white gold and diamonds, the other was gold and rubies. House studied them, as he had almost forgot what they looked like.

"Jesus Doc, you really went all out." Richard said as he looked at the two rings.

"So did Stacy have a twin we didn't know about?" Marty said giving House an amused smile.

House smiled a the thought of marrying twins. "No, Stacy mainly wore white gold, but the necklace her mother gave her was gold, so she would hide it under her shirt most of the time. So I had one made in white gold and diamonds as a more traditional ring, and then the gold and rubies, rubies were her favorite, made so she could wear it with her necklace out on the few times she wore gold." House said and picked up the gold and ruby ring.

Martha smiled at him as though she had won some invisible match. Only a good man would notice something like that and go out of their way to make and extra ring.

Cuddy swallowed as she looked at the rings and what they implied. House, the guy who criticized idea of marriage at almost every chance he got, had actually planned to ask Stacy to marry him. She watched him as he looked the ring over and took a closer look her self too. "Wow, it's a gorgeous design. I've never seen anything that looks quite like this. Where did you find them?" Cuddy asked as he handed her the ring to look at some more.

"I designed them." He said as he watched her slip it on and smiled slightly. Cuddy looked at him with a shocked look, so he explained. "I started working on them after our third anniversary. I wanted to give her a ring that had meaning, so I made my own design for the ring out of jeweler wax, which took a while, then hand picked each stone on both rings and had an independent jeweler make it." House was staring at the ring with a deep fascination as Cuddy looked at him with a since of wonder.

Martha smiled as she watched Greg holding Lisa's hand with the ring on. "It seems to fit you perfectly Lisa." She said still smiling.

Cuddy blinked at Martha surprised by the comment and looked down to see House studying the ring on her hand.

House gave a small smile still looking at the ring. "And red is definitely her color." House said glancing up and catching her eye. "You should keep them." He said as he let go of her hand.

Cuddy was floored, "House! No, no, I can't."

House looked at her seriously, "Why not? You said you liked the design, and they fit."

Cuddy looked at him as if he had lost his mind and noticed everyone else was watching her with small smiles. "Because you put a lot of work into these, you should keep them, not to even mention how much you paid for them."

House looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, "And what am I suppose to do with them, take them out and remember how she said yes, and how great the wedding was; oh right, that didn't happen." House narrowed his eyes on her, "And as far as money goes, how much have I cost the Hospital?"

Cuddy looked around for help, but everyone seemed to avoid her eyes except Martha who gave her a pleading look to just take the rings. She felt like everyone was against her and pushing her to take the rings which was making her angry. "I said no House!" She said as she took the ring off and put it down in front of him with a little to much force. Her cheeks were red in anger and slight embarrassment as she heard the slam of the ring.

House looked at the ring with a mixture of hurt and anger, then looked back at Cuddy with pensive eyes, "Fine, don't worry, I get it." His voice was low and controlled.

Cuddy wanted to ask him what he meant by the statement, but couldn't bring herself to. Everything from his posture, eyes, and voice told her to leave it alone. He kept staring at her even after the statement and she finally couldn't take it anymore and looked away.

House poured himself a glass of Scotch and finish it in two swallows. "If you don't mind I need to use the restroom. It's still in the same spot right?" House said as he got up and grabbed the cane.

"Yep same spot. Hey maybe when your done we can play a game of knives, I want see if you can still out throw Marty." Richie said with a smile.

House gave a faint smile back, "Yeah, sounds good." And started to walk away.

"Greg, you're forgetting the rings." Martha said as she put the rings back in the box, and closed it sliding it to him. "I think it's best you put them in your pocked now, so you don't forget them, don't you?" Martha was giving him as sad smile.

House looked down at the box, and nodded slowly, "Yes, thanks for holding on to them." House said reaching out his hand slowly. Finally he swallowed and picked up the box putting it in his left pocket of his jacket. Then he limped out of the room through the back door

Martha looked at her sons, "Would you two be so kind as to clean this up and give us girls some talking time." Martha said with a smile.

"Yes Mama," Marty said and both the men got up giving Cuddy a sympathetic look, and gathered the dishes, and left.

"More wine dear?" Martha said as she got up and sat down on Cuddy's right.

"Yes, thank you." Cuddy said as she started to get nervous.

Martha poured the wine and looked at Cuddy, "So, you were his doctor during the infarction."

Cuddy's mouth hanged open and she was sure she turned two shades lighter. Her heart was racing. "How did you know?"

Martha looked at her with kind eyes, "I've raised two boys, I can tell when someone's feeling guilty."

Cuddy stated to get defensive, "I really did think that the surgery was the best option, and I don't feel guilty."

Martha gave her a smile, "How long have you been telling yourself that dear? People don't say "I did think" when they still agree with their decision."

Cuddy didn't know what to say, it was like taking a polygraph talking to this woman.

Martha put her hand on Cuddy's, "Lisa, is that why you wouldn't take the rings?"

Cuddy suddenly felt more comfortable with Martha's hand on hers, as if Martha had some magical power. "I didn't feel it was appropriate."

Martha looked at her sympathetically, "He doesn't blame you, you know."

Cuddy looked at her with surprise, "Did he tell you that?"

Martha shook her head, "No dear, he didn't have to. Greg has always blamed himself for everything that happens in his life, especially bad things." Cuddy gave her a confused looked. "Every fight he's ever had, has been his fault at least in his eyes, even if he doesn't say it, that's what he believes. He thinks there is something wrong with him, that he's... bad." Martha said with a sad face.

Cuddy watched the woman, "He never seems like that at work, actually he acts like an egotistical arrogant ass." Cuddy said with a laugh.

Martha smiled back, "He's also incredibly stubborn, when he thinks he's right. But I promise you, when things go wrong, he puts most of the blame on himself."

Cuddy wondered why the woman was telling her this. "You know I still can't take the rings right? I mean you understand why I can't."

"I'm guessing because you like him and you two use to date." Martha said with a knowing smile.

"We dated in college, it was a long time ago, and I don't have feeling for him anymore than I do for any of my other employees." Cuddy said in a very professional manner and took a sip of the wine.

Martha looked her straight in the eyes, "So you take all of your employees out to dinner?"

Cuddy couldn't wait for House to get back and help her out of this. "We made a bet and he won, so I told him that I would take him out to dinner."

Martha smiled, "Well, he likes you, I'm sorry you don't feel the same way."

Cuddy bit her lip, she knew she should just shut up now, but she couldn't help herself. "Why do you say that?"

Martha gave a triumphant smile, "The way he looks at you."

Cuddy gave a small laugh, "Yeah, well House has a hard time NOT looking at women."

Martha shook her head, "Why do you call him House, it's not like you're at work."

Cuddy let out a deep breath, "I guess I just got use to it because that's what I always call him, it just feels right."

"So that's what you called him back in college when you dated him?" Martha asked innocently.

Cuddy swallowed and looked around for House or someone, but she was still alone with the woman. "No." She answered simply

"Hm, that's interesting. It's almost like you are trying to distance yourself from him by calling him by his last name. Like you're constantly reminding yourself that he's suppose to be only an employee, I bet he does the same with you." Martha said with sad smile.

Cuddy took a long sip of wine, and just smiled back.

"When I was talking about the way he looks at you, I didn't mean in that way. He's always watching you, waiting to hear what you'll say or do. He usually doesn't care what others say or do, but he does with you." Martha said, "Why do you think that is?"

Cuddy sighed and shrugged, "I don't know." She was slightly embarrassed, she too had notice over the years how obsessive he could be when it came to her.

"Oh, I understand, you know he likes you." Martha gave a small laugh, "You weren't surprised by the knowledge that he likes you, just that I could tell."

Cuddy downed the rest of the wine and poured herself another glass.

"Are you afraid he'll hurt you Lisa?" Martha said softly.

Cuddy looked at her astounded, "No, I'm not afraid he'll hurt me, I know he will."

Martha looked at her with concern, "You can't be sure unless you try."

Cuddy took a sip of wine and laughed, she wasn't sure if it was Martha's powers or the amount of wine, but suddenly she didn't care about trying to hide how she felt. "Four months ago he... he kissed me, and it was soft and sweet and passionate." She looked at Martha, "And then later when I tried to get him to consider having a real relationship he acted like it was a joke." Cuddy shook her head, "No, I'm not putting myself out there again."

"Can you blame him?" Martha asked. Cuddy gave her a perplexed look but remained silent. "That's what Greg does when he's afraid, or hurt, or any other feeling he's think might make him appear weak, he makes it into a joke, laughs it off. Like that comment about keeping the rings to look back on and remember the good times. After what happened with Stacy can you really blame him for putting up his shields?"

Cuddy bit at her lip as she thought about it, "I never knew he was that serious about her, or about how things had ended. Stacy put in notice that she was leaving work three days before she left, said things weren't working out with her and House, but she never told him." Cuddy swallowed, "She just left, they hadn't even been fighting. He just woke up and she was gone, didn't even tell him why. Too be honest all this time I had... well, thought that it had been him that ended, or pushed her away."

Martha shook her head, "No, Greg treated her like a goddess, but Stacy never loved him like he did her. She cheated on him several times, and every time they had a disagreement she would threaten to leave and he would cave. The way she talked about him was as if he was the third runner up in contest. Like HE wasn't good enough for HER, and the really sad part is he believed it." Martha's blood boiled at the thought of how Stacy would treat Greg, "She'd get mad and slap him hard across the face, once he got so mad he told her if she did it again than they were through and she slapped him even harder. He actually had to take a walk to calm down and I let her know right then if I every saw her do that again I would hit her so hard she'd need a doctor. She knew he wouldn't ever hit a woman, but she also knew that I would have know problem hitting her." Martha gave a bitter laugh, "You know what he did when he got back from the walk? He apologized to her."

Cuddy blinked as she thought about what Martha was saying. She had never known that Stacy was that harsh with him. "I can't imagine why he would stay with her if she treated him like that."

"Because he never thought he deserved better." Martha said bitterly. "I know that Greg has his faults, but he deserved a lot better than that. Promise me Lisa that if you ever do really give it a try that you won't ever treat him like that."

Cuddy looked at Martha, "That's an easy promise, because like I said before, I'm not going to try again."

Martha shook her head, "Well I guess you aren't as smart as you seem."

Cuddy looked around, "I wonder what's taking him so long in the bathroom."

"He's not in the restroom, he's hiding." Martha said as she took a sip of wine.

Cuddy smiled, "He does that here too?"

"Yes whenever he starts feeling to pushed, or needs to think he goes to the closet at the end of the hall on right and hides out." Martha said frowning, "I think the rings did it."

Cuddy got up, "Well, I think I'll just go and check up on him."

Martha nodded and Cuddy went to find House. Once she found the closet she slowly opened the door and heard the snap of something being closed and saw House sitting on a turned over crate with the ring box held tightly in his hand.

House had closed the ring box as soon as he had realized someone was coming in and looked up to find that it was Cuddy, "So I guess Mama ratted me out?"

Cuddy wondered how long he had been sitting like that staring at the rings. "She sang like a canary." Cuddy said in playful manner.

House chuckled, "I doubt that, obviously you haven't played karaoke with the woman."

"Nope just twenty questions." Cuddy said as she stepped in to the closet and closed the door.

"Did she convince you that I'm really a good guy deep down?" House said in a mocking voice.

Cuddy laughed, "No, but she tried."

"Good girl for not falling for it." House said proudly.

Cuddy studied House, his right hand was rubbing his thigh and his left had a tight grasp on the box. "House, are you okay?" She ask seriously looking at the box in his hand.

House put the box in his pocket. "I'm fine." He said casually and pulled his pills from his right pocket and chewed it leaning his head back while closing his eyes.

"I wouldn't be." She said honestly.

House opened his eyes and seemed in deep thought for a minute. "I still don't understand that woman. I mean, how can she think I'm a good man?" House said looking at Cuddy with confusion.

Cuddy gave House a sad worried look, she didn't see him in the rose colored glasses of Martha, but she never really thought of him as a bad person either. "Not everything about you is bad House."

House stood up and looked down at her, "Tell me one thing that's 'good' about me that has nothing to do with my job." House said with a smirk and narrowed eyes.

Cuddy looked up at him, they were closer than she was usually comfortable with. She took a deep breath and could smell his cologne. "Well, you're..." she stopped as her eyes met his, suddenly her mouth was dry.

House dipped his head a little, "I'm what?" He asked.

Cuddy swallowed as she could feel his breath on her skin. "You're funny."

House looked at her and his smile grew, and soon he was laughing. "You Cuddy, have a sick sense of humor."

Cuddy smiled, "You're one to talk."

Suddenly the door opened and Martha stood looking at them with a smile. "Do I need to give you two some more time or are you ready to come out now?"

House gave an evil smile at Cuddy, "Just a few more minutes, I haven't even gotten to first base."

"House!" Cuddy snapped as she tried to distance herself from him in the small closet.

"That's not what I heard." Martha said as she gave House a knowing look.

House looked at Martha shocked, and then looked at Cuddy in disbelief. "You told her about what happened?"

Cuddy gave him an innocent smile, "Yes, why was that suppose to be a secret?"

House looked at her dumbfounded. He couldn't help but wonder what else she had told Martha.

Martha looked at House with a questioning gaze. "She said that you made a joke at her attempt to get you to consider having a relationship."

House's jaw tightened as he listened to Martha and gave Cuddy a hard stare, "Really? Because the way I remember it, I made a move on her that she found 'inappropriate', which is really funny because I found the whole bring up what happened in our personal lives at work inappropriate. But when I could tell it upset her, I tried to make amends by surprising her so she'd confront me about it, but I guess it wasn't appreciated."

Cuddy blinked at him, she could tell he was fuming. She thought about bring up the fact that she had went to tell him she was happy about the desk, but then saw him with Dee, who was apparently a hooker, and decided against it, but she felt that it wasn't the time to discuss it in front of Martha.

House was even angrier that Cuddy just stood there staring him down. "But then again it's not like it really matters, because Dr. Lisa Cuddy has always been too good for me. Right?"

Cuddy was surprised by the statement, as far as she could remember she had never been snobbish towards him. "House, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't." House said harshly. "Anyways, I should leave you woman to your talk, I have a knife game with the boys." With that House limped out of the closet and back down the hall turning into another room where the other men were.

Cuddy was furious, "He's impossible, he won't even explain what he means, he just walks off."

Martha raised an eyebrow at Cuddy, "Why does it matter what he thinks or feels. It's not like you're going to change your mind right?"

"I never said I didn't care about what he thinks or feels." Cuddy said defensively.

Martha gave Cuddy a small smile, "I'm glad to hear you say that, maybe it would be even better if you told him."

Cuddy swallowed, "I see what you're doing, but I don't want to date him anymore, that time has passed."

Martha looked at her innocently, "I just thought you wanted to have a better friendship with him."

Cuddy laughed, "So did you learn your techniques from him or did he learn this from you."

Martha smiled at Cuddy, "Oh he was well on his way before I ever met him dear. Tell you what, how about we get some dessert and join the boys."

Martha and Cuddy entered the back room to find the boys taking shots of Vodka with Pink Floyd playing on the stereo about to go at another round of knives. "So who's winning?" Martha said loudly.

They all turned their head and looked, then Richard turned down the music. "I am, of course." House said cockily with a smirk.

Martha gave him a smile, "Well that's nice. I thought you might want to earn some dessert."

"Earn how?" House asked giving her a questioning gaze.

"Just one round of Jukebox." Martha said sweetly.

House gave her his best puppy dog eyes, "And if I say no, you're really going to let me starve? I'm already sooo thin."

"Starve? Didn't I just watch you eat four plates of food?" Martha asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Fine, tell you what, I'll make you a deal. I'll play a round of Jukebox if Cuddy will." House said as he gave Cuddy an innocent smile, "What do you say Cuddy?"

Cuddy looked up to find everyone's eyes on her. "Marty, how do you play Jukebox?"

"It's not that bad, you just have to sing whatever song the audience wants you to sing karaoke style. A round is when you have sung one song for everyone in the audience. It's actually pretty fun." Marty said as he picked up the mic and moved it to the small stage. Richie helped by setting up the karaoke equipment.

"So all I have to do is sing some songs? Do I get anything when I wipe the floor with you?" Cuddy asked feeling confident.

House laughed, "When you wipe the floor with me huh? Okay, I'm game, if I win I get two weeks off of clinic duty, name what your winning are to be."

"Two weeks off of the clinic." Cuddy thought about it and smiled back, "Fine if I win you have to answer ten questions in as much detail as I want and honestly, plus you have to write an apology to every patient of yours that is currently suing the Hospital."

House thought about this for a second, that was a lot of letters. "Alright, but since I play most of my songs too, you have to dance to yours."

"Great, who goes first." She said ready to beat him and win her prize.

"I will, so you can see how it's done. So who's going to give me my first song?" He asked and looked around.

"Well, since Lisa is the guest, she should really get to chose the first song." Martha said

House looked at Martha, "Who's side are you on?" Martha just smiled back, and he rolled his eyes at Cuddy, "Fine, what'll it be?"

Cuddy gave him an evil smile, "I feel pretty."

Both Richie and Marty started laughing, House narrowed his eyes at her, "Oh you are so going to regret this when your turn comes up."

Marty was still laughing as he set the song up on the karaoke system, "There you go Doc. Ready when you are." House shook his head at the shame of it, but then gave Marty a nod. He sung the song as if he was actually putting on the show he sang loud and in tune and everyone was in a fit of laughter the whole way through.

"Alright, the score." House said loudly over their laughter. He got a 10 from Marty, a 8 from Richie, a 10 from Martha, and a 9 from Cuddy. House looked over at Richie, "Really an eight?"

Richie's face was red from laughing, "For some reason, it just didn't seem like your heart was in it."

House glared at him, and then looked at Martha, "Alright Mama, what do you want to hear."

"I want to hear you sing Thank You by Led Zeppelin dear." Martha said sweetly.

House looked like he was considering not doing it, but finally he said, "Alright." And went over to the wall and picked up the twelve string guitar. He slowly made his way to the mic and made sure the guitar was in-tune, then he put down his cane and gave a small smile and started playing the song.

Cuddy noticed how uncomfortable House looked, he refused to look at anyone instead focusing on the guitar, looking into nothing, or just closing his eyes. "I'm surprised he's actually singing this." Marty whispered.

"Why?" Cuddy asked as she listened to the song, it was actually a very sweet song, and House was doing a great job at it surprisingly, considering she didn't even know he could sing.

"It's the song he always sung to Stacy." Marty whispered back and looked at her with sad eyes.

Cuddy looked back and now could tell he was struggling to keep his emotions down. "Oh," She said and swallowed as she heard him sing the lines "_Happiness, No more I'm sad_."

When House finally finished the song he closed his eyes and swallowed, trying to push his emotions down, he stood there like that over two minutes. Then he opened his eyes slowly, "So, the score?" He asked in a flat voice as if he could care less. Everyone gave him a 10, he listened but never met any of their eyes, "Alright Richie, it's your turn." House said now using his cane to lean on.

"Mama don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys, by Willy" Richie said hoping the song would cheer him up.

House smiled at the thought of the song. "Good choice," House said and limped over to the wall, an brought back the acoustic guitar and started playing and singing.

Cuddy was amazed, she never thought House knew county songs, or that he would sound so good sing one. His low voice was perfect for it, Cuddy bit her lip as she couldn't help but imagine how cute he would look with boots and a cowboy hat.

"Alright, so how did I do?" House asked and once again got all tens. "Yee Haw!" House said loudly as he pretended to throw a hat out into the crowd. "That just leaves you Marty." He hoped Marty would pick a good song.

"Have you heard Johnny Cash's version of Hurt?" Marty asked.

Houses eyes lit up, "Man, now that is a great song. Have you heard it on the piano, it's awesome." House said as he limped back to the wall with his cane and put the guitar back up and brought back the huge key board. Marty jumped up and quickly grabbed the stand for it before House turned back around. Then Richie got him a chair. House stood back leaning on his cane. "You know, I'm not a invalid I can do things for myself." House said with a little irritation.

Marty looked down while Richie looked House straight in the eyes, "We know that, we just get tired of waiting on your lazy ass."

House laughed and made his way to the keyboard. The guys went back to where they had originally been sitting and House played with the keyboard until he had the setting like he wanted. He started playing the intro,and went into his own private world.

Cuddy had never heard the song, but she noticed immediately how it fit House perfectly. The music was simple but beautiful and the words were true and heart breaking. He didn't seem to look at anyone while he sang and played but his expressions let her know how much the song meant to him.

When he was done he just sat there staring off in deep thought. Everyone had been stunned into silence by his moving performance of the song. Cuddy was the first to recover and she slowly walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. House looked up at her a little surprised that she had gotten so close to him without him even noticing. "That was... amazing." Cuddy said as her eyes searched his, as if trying to figure out this man that before she had never seen.

House could tell Cuddy had meant what she said, and was unsettled by the way she looked, as if she was just discovering him for the first time. House nodded and turned his head away from her, he felt as though her ice blue eyes could see straight into his soul.

Marty looked at House in aw, "Well Doc, I have to say I think that's your best performance to date so far. I'm sure that was tens all around." Everyone nodded in agreement.

House looked back at Cuddy, "Well I guess it's your turn Cuddy. Can't wait to check out your moves, by the way would you like a pole, I want to makes sure you feel at home."

Cuddy shook her head and half smiled, "You need to stop mixing up reality and your fantasy's House, now get off my stage."

House stood up and grabbed his cane, "Fine, hope you break a leg."

"Looks like you already have." Cuddy said before she even thought about it. House stopped with his back to her but instead of firing back another insult he just tightened his grip on his cane and then continued making his way to a chair. Cuddy had realized the moment after she had said it that it was a little to harsh, but the fact he didn't even have a comeback made her feel even worse. "Um, so who's going to pick my first song?" She said awkwardly.

Martha looked at her with disapproval, "Mr. Sandman is my pick."

Marty started setting up the song on the karaoke system avoiding looking at Cuddy, "This screen is where you read the words, and the mic is wireless and removable from the stand." With that Marty left her on the stage and took his seat.

Cuddy cleared her throat and gave and awkward smile as she started to sing and dance slightly to the music. The more she got into the song the more confident she grew as she saw everyone giving her encouraging smiles. When she was finally done she gave them a smile and clasped her hands in front of her nervously.

Martha gave her a smile, "You have a lovely voice dear. I'll give you a ten." Richie and Marty both gave her tens as well, and House gave her a nine stating that she needed more swing in her hip.

House eyed her and gave her an evil smirk, "My choice of song is Whip It by Devo." Richie and Marty both had to stop themselves from laughing as they watched Cuddy's mouth drop.

"No way, pick something else." Cuddy said with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Hey now, I didn't give you any lip when you picked, I Feel Pretty." House said happily.

Cuddy put her hands on her hip and tried to come up with a good excuse not to sing the song, but honestly she knew she didn't have one. "Okay, Marty would you mind setting it up for me." She said still glaring at House. Cuddy did horrible on the song between being red as a beet and not moving an inch the entire song. Martha gave her a ten, Richie a eight, Marty a eight and House gave her a nine. She gave House a questioning look when she heard his score sure he would have been more harsh.

"You still looked better than the entire band." He said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Cuddy gave him a laugh, "Alright, so what's next?" She said eying the brothers.

Richard smiled, "How to save a life by Fray."

Cuddy thought the song sounded familiar, but didn't truly know it. She started singing it and suddenly she started thinking about House and the night before. She looked at him as she was singing, and swallowed as she looked down and kept singing. Soon she was having problems reading the screen as her eyes got watery and she looked up at House, as she tried to compose herself.

As soon as House saw her tear filled eyes he got up and was beside her. His hand wrapped around her waist and pulled her protectively to him. "Just because you're losing that's no reason to cry." He said with a smile looking down at her dark brown locks of hair as her head was buried in his shirt.

Cuddy looked up at him with shock and irritation with tears still in her eyes. "You ass! You're the reason I'm upset." She said as she tried to push him away.

House soon realized this was a two hand job and he dropped his cane wrapping both of his arms around her and pulling her even closer. "Hey, I'm not good at this kind of stuff." He said with sad and panicked eyes. "Please just stop crying." House didn't know what else to do so he put his lips against her forehead, "Please, Lisa." He said softly against her skin.

She stopped struggling with him when she heard her name. She was so close that she could hear his heart racing. She took a couple of deep breaths which calmed her down. Houses strong arms were still wrapped around her holding her close. She started to feel uncomfortable with the situation. "Um.. House, you can let go now." She said softly.

House let go of her quickly and step back slowly putting his right hand on his thigh so he didn't fall without the support of his cane. He looked lost as to what he was suppose to do now.

Cuddy bend down and picked up his cane and held it out to him. House looked at the cane and timidly

wrapped his hand around it. "Thanks," Cuddy whispered to him.

House nodded at her and started to go back to his chair.

"So, do you want to do the last song, or would you just rather stop?" Marty asked with concern.

Cuddy looked back at the audience, "No, I'm fine now, what was the song?" Cuddy said hoping she hadn't made too much of scene.

"I thought it would be nice to stop on a duet, so I my pick is I've Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher." Marty said. House stopped in his tracts and looked at Cuddy.

Cuddy looked at House, "What do you say? You want to help me out with this last song?"

House turned around and walked back up to Cuddy, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Oh come on House, it'll be fun." She said and gave him a small push, "That is unless you're chicken?"

House smirked at the comment. "You got me babe."

Cuddy smiled at him and whispered in his ear, "Let's give them a show."

House looked at her slightly surprised and then gave her an evil grin and grabbed her hand, "Shall we?"

They put on a good show laughing and smiling at each other through out the song, and holding hands. They got a small standing ovation when they were done. Everyone piled around the table and enjoyed the tiramisu that Martha had made. Cuddy and House smiled slightly at each other when no one noticed, both glad to have Martha finally leaving them alone about their relationship.

They finally walked out with the family at 11:30 pm. House and the guys were talking and laughing about the bike and House's custom cane holder, while Martha and Cuddy stood back and watched smiling. "Will you watch over him for me, Lisa?" Martha asked softly.

Cuddy gave her a small sad smile, "I'll try."

Martha smiled back and hugged her, "Thanks dear, you have no idea how much that means to me."

House and the brothers walked back up to them. "Well, it's about time we headed out. Sorry it's taken me so long to come and visit, but I promise it wont be this long again." House said and gave Martha a hug.

"It better not be, or you'll be in trouble young man." Martha said with a smile, "And be careful on that bike of yours."

House gave her an innocent look, "Scouts honor." He said as he mounted the bike and put on his helmet. Cuddy looked down at her helmet with dread and slipped it on, then wrapped her arms around his waist and they were off.


	9. Chapter 9: Just a tease?

When they stopped outside of House's building Cuddy realized she had actually had fun on the bike on the way home. She hadn't been nearly as scared now that there was hardly any traffic on the road and there was something enjoyable about holding on to House.

"You can let go now." House said looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

Cuddy looked down and realized she was still hugging his waist. She let her hands slide slowly away and House got off of the bike and helped her off.

"I guess you need to get home, you want me to walk you to your car?" House asked casually.

Cuddy gave him a sweet smile, "Actually I was wondering if I could come in." She said and put her hand on top of his forearm softly.

House kept his face as still as stone and searched her eyes. "Sure," He said as he wondered what she was up to.

Cuddy only wanted to talk, but she wondered if he had gotten the wrong idea, and then smiled to herself about how much fun she could have with this. As soon as they were inside Cuddy took off the helmet and made a show of flipping her hair and fixing it with her hands then walked up to him standing closer than usual.

House stood his ground and looked at her suspiciously, "Would you like something to drink?"

"Vodka on the rocks," Cuddy said and put her hand on his chest. "Remember I like it dirty." She said breathlessly as her hand glided down his torso stopping on his stomach. She smiled as she could feel his muscles tighten under her touch.

House couldn't believe that she was being this bold. His mind blanked and he kept blinking at her. "Right," He said when he finally felt like he could speak, then went to get the drinks.

Cuddy bit her lips to keep from laughing. It was rare to make House speechless, but she had done it. She quietly made her way into the kitchen and smiled when she saw him take a swig of scotch from the bottle. She tip toed until she was right behind him.

House turned around and jerked slightly when he discovered Cuddy was behind him. He had her drink in his hand and had sloshed a little out by the sudden movement. His eyes were wide on her.

"Is that for me?" Cuddy asked seductively with a smile. House just nodded slowly still recovering from his surprise. She was having a ball with him. "Looks good." She said looking him up and down and stepping closer. House swallowed and tried to back up but realized he was stuck between her and the counter. Cuddy smiled and took the glass from his hand and lifted it to her lips and took a sip and tilted her head up as she swallowed it. "Mmm.." She said and then licked her lips watching House's eyes glued on her. His eyes were dilated and his breaths were slow.

"What do you want?" He asked her with a husky voice.

She smiled back at him innocently, "What do you think I want House?"

House stood straighter causing himself to gently brush against her. "Quit toying with me, if you want something just ask for it." He said with his eyes looking straight into hers.

Cuddy was taken aback by his body slightly rubbing against hers and the look in his eyes. He was serious and she knew it was time to come clean. "I just want to talk." She said giving him and guilty smile.

House visibly relaxed, "Then talk, who knows I might even listen." He said not daring to move, he wasn't going to retreat.

Cuddy looked at him, "House this is serious." She tried to stay stern, but it came out in a whisper.

House leaned closer to her face, he was less than an inch from he lips, "Sorry, what was that, I couldn't hear you." He said softly as his breath teased her lips.

"House," Cuddy softly begged with her eyes closed, drinking in his smell and the warmth of his body so close to hers.

House smiled to himself her eyes were closed, her breathing rapid, and her cheeks blushed. He put his lips right by her ear, "What is it Cuddy?" He asked softly his lips barely touching her ear.

She couldn't remember ever wanting someone as much as she wanted him right now. Her left hand was gently holding his hip. She bit her lip, it was now or never, she had to make a choice. She suddenly thought of the night before, and she knew that this conversation was too important to be put on hold so she stepped away from him.

House smiled at his victory, she was the first to surrender. He hoped it wasn't too apparent how turned on he had gotten from the whole event. House watched her as she took a couple of deep breaths and finally started to return to her normal color. She took a large gulp of her drink and then looked at him.

She couldn't help but notice how smug he seemed to be or the large bulge straining against his jeans. Cuddy swallowed she hated how he could make her want to slap him and take him at the same time. "You're an ass." She snapped at him over her shoulder as she walk into the living room.

House laughed grabbing his scotch and following, "Maybe you shouldn't start something you don't intend to finish."

Cuddy sat down on one end of the sofa and House sat down on the other end. "Alright, you wanted to talk, so talk." House said as he looked at her.

"I need to talk to you about last night." Cuddy said watching House for his reaction.

House looked irritated, and his eyes seemed to darken. "What about it?"

"The pain, it's a lot worse than I ever knew." Cuddy said with concern.

House seemed angry, "Well maybe if you had ever thought to ask you would have known."

"You're right, I should have. I doubt you would have told me the truth, but I should have asked anyway." Cuddy licked her lips and took a deep breath. "I want to help you House, that's why I called Dr. Roth at Baylor and got him to agree to come out to the Hospital Monday for you. He's one of the best pain management specialist in the country."

"I don't remember agreeing to an appointment, so what happens if I decide that I don't want to meet this Dr. Roth? You going to fire me, or take away my vicodin until I'm in so much pain I'd agree to a lobotomy?" His eyes were dark and challenging.

Cuddy frowned, she had hoped House would be on board. "No, if you don't want to meet him then you don't have to, but I really hope that you will meet him. I think he might be able to help you House."

House thought about it. "Why does he need to meet me, you have all my charts on the surgery?"

Cuddy was happy to know he was considering it, but kept her face emotionless. "He has to do a pain test and talk to you about the levels of pain you have been having and when."

"So his idea of helping me is to put me through more pain? You sure this guy is as good as you think he is?" House said in a condescending way.

Cuddy looked him in the eyes. "Well, you're the best Doctor I know and you cut yourself to deal with the pain, so I would think, you of all people might understand his methods."

House took a deep breath. "Fine, I'll go to the appointment as long as Wilson agrees to go through the pain test too."

Cuddy looked at him with confusion. "Why do you want Wilson to have to go through the pain test too?"

House gave her an evil smile, "Do I really need any other reason than to see him squirm a little." Cuddy gave him a shocked look. "Or you could call it payback, you know for ratting me out to the police, or making me detox cold turkey twice, and then there was that time last year when he asked me to risk my life with DBS treatment, whatever makes you feel better. Pain test are more accurate when the control is someone in the same field right?"

Cuddy thought about it for a minute. "Okay, I'll get Wilson on board."

House took a sip of his scotch. "Great, well is that all of this talk because I'm getting tired."

Cuddy steadied her nerves, "No, there's some other things I need to say." Cuddy looked up at him waiting for him to let her know he was ready.

House just sat there waiting for her to continue and when she didn't he decided to give her a small verbal push. "Let's make it sometime tonight, I really am tired."

Cuddy scooted closer to him on the couch now sitting on her knees. House looked at her cautiously. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry." House gave her a confused look. "I'm sorry about my part in your leg treatment."

House was stunned his mouth was hanging slightly open and he stared at her in aw. He had never thought he'd hear those words from her. It felt good in someways to have her admit she was wrong, but it also made him feel guilty, he had never blamed her, not really, and he didn't want her blaming herself. "Your treatment wasn't what I wanted, but I can't say I disagree with your methods."

Cuddy was shocked, she had betrayed his trust and he was saying it was okay. "House I went behind your back. I talked to Stacy before you were even in the coma about cutting out the dead muscle, and even though she didn't come right out and say what she was planning I had an idea. I should have told you about the option. I should have let you make the decision, it was your body."

House eyes widened. He had always been led to believe that Cuddy hadn't come up with the idea until he was in the coma. He looked away from her as he thought. It hurt him to know she had more of a part in misguiding him than he had originally thought and even more hurtful was the fact that Stacy had meant to deceive him. She had always made it seem like she had just been told about the procedure after he was out and made what she thought was the best decision since he was in a coma.

Cuddy could tell that he hadn't been told the whole truth until now, she could see his mind trying to process it and it was killing her inside as she could see the hurt on his face. "House?" She said softly, but could tell his mind was running so fast he wasn't hearing her. She wanted to touch him to reassure him, so she placed her hand softly on his right thigh and rubbed her thumb across it. She frowned as she could feel the empty space under the jean where she had cut away the muscle. Cuddy looked up at House and noticed that he was still thinking about what she had said. "House, I'm so sorry." She said and he finally looked up at her with a lost expression and then looked away.

House had almost forgotten Cuddy was there until she had said something. He looked away as he thought about what to say, what he needed to say. He glanced down and saw her tiny hand rubbing circles on his ruined thigh. "I don't blame you for what you did." House looked up at her, "I would have done the same thing to my patient if I thought it was the best option for them. There was no way for you to know how much muscle death there was. You couldn't have known it would turn out this way."

Cuddy had been preparing herself for him to rip her apart ever since she had decided to apologize, it had never even crossed her mind that he would be so dismissive of her part in what happened. Maybe Martha understood House better than she thought. Cuddy knew House wasn't trying to make her feel more guilty, but she was. "You weren't just another patient, you were... well even if we don't always act like it, I think of you as a friend." She said looking at him with guilt ridden eyes.

House gave her a half smile, "Well then, I'm even prouder that you treated me like a patient. That's what makes a great Doctor."

Cuddy was starting to get mad at him for not letting her hold her fair share of blame. "Quit doing this! Quit acting like everything is okay, and like I did nothing wrong! It's my fault you can't walk, it's my fault you have nights like last night! Dammit House yell at me!" She said full of passion as her eyes began to get watery and she wrapped her arms around her waist.

House looked at her with anger and clenched teeth. "Fine! You want me to yell? You want me to tell you that I blame you for all of this and that I hate you. You want me to tell you how I'm surprised you passed medical school and that you're such a lousy doctor you should be bared? I can say that all you want, but that doesn't mean I feel that way! And that doesn't make it true, so let go of it, alright." House was breathing heavy, he was mad that she was trying to make him part of her guilt issues. He didn't blame her, and he didn't understand why she was blaming herself. Cuddy looked like she was about to cry and it pulled at his heart. "Not again with the water works." He said in a begging tone as he closed his eyes and let his head fall backward into the couch.

Cuddy looked at him as she tried to calm herself. He looked completely exhausted and he had began rubbing his thigh and his mouth would grimace every time he heard her sniffle or wipe her eyes. He wasn't as bad as she had thought. Even thought he seemed god like at work, at the end of the day he was just a man trying to make it. Cuddy smiled as she watched a very human House. "You're not as bad as you pretend to be, in a way you're sweet."

House opened his eyes and looked at her with a funny sense of curiosity. "When I'm trying to save lives and complement your rocking body I'm an ass, but I yell at you and suddenly I'm sweet? I'm convinced... women really are crazy."

Cuddy gave him a fake glare and a playful slap on the chest. "I take it back, your always an ass."

House smiled, "Good because words like 'sweet' could ruin a reputation like mine."

Cuddy smiled and shook her head only House would want people to think of him as an ass. "Well I only have one more thing I wanted to ask you before I leave."

House looked at her, "Great shoot."

Cuddy bit her lip, she had no idea how he would react to this one. "I was wondering if you might..." Cuddy was losing her strength as House blinked at her waiting for her to continue. "I just thought I'd be nice if we hung out more and got to know each other better."

House was a little confused and then he noticed that she was fidgeting and blushing; and a smile crept on his face. "Wait, are you... Dr. Lisa Cuddy, asking ME out on a DATE?" House was smiling ear to ear, just at the idea of it.

Cuddy took a deep breath, "Yes Greg, I'm asking you out on a date."

House's eyes soften, and suddenly he wasn't smiling. She hadn't called him by his first name since that night in med school. House thought about it for a minute. "You know that this is probably a bad idea right?" Cuddy nodded, but kept her eyes on him waiting for an answer. House wasn't sure what he should do, but he knew that if he said no she would never ask him again, and if the past proved anything then it proved he was to chickenshit to ask her himself. "I'd love to." He said giving a small smile. He could feel his hands sweating as he became more nervous about what he had just agreed to.

Cuddy was shocked, she was sure he was leaning towards no. She was now smiling ear to ear, "Great I'll pick you around seven." Cuddy said as she got up and started towards the door.

House was beginning to panic. He got up quickly and started after her. "Hey... umm what should I wear?" He asked confused by how things were moving so quickly now.

"Wear whatever you want?" Cuddy said with a smile

House was happy she gave him something he could work with. "So those crotchless chaps and the cowboy hat will work then?" He said with an evil smile.

Cuddy grimaced, "Wear a suit, House, and before you even ask your birthday suit doesn't count."

House let out a frustrated sigh, "Why do you have to ruin the best jokes for me?"

Cuddy smiled at him and opened the door. "Seven, be ready." She said and then started towards her car.

House closed the door and shook his head. What the hell made he say yes? He picked up his cell phone and called the only person he could think to call, Wilson. After three rings the phone when to voice mail, which House hated, he never left messages, but this was important so he said "Wilson it's an emergency get here as fast as you can."

Wilson made it to House's apartment in six minutes flat. He bolted through the door to find House sitting on the couch with a bottle of scotch. He was relieved that he wasn't seriously injured but was still anxious about the message. "House what is? What happened?" He said so fast it was hard to understand.

House looked at his watch, "Six minutes, wow impressive," and then took another chug of scotch.

Wilson shook his head, "YOU said it was an EMERGENCY, House!" Wilson put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath.

House looked at Wilson with a look of being lost, "I..." House lick his lips and tried again, "Cuddy...she..." He didn't know why this was so hard to say.

Wilson began to panic again as he stood up, it wasn't like House to not just spit it out. "Oh my god! House did something happen to Cuddy?"

House looked at him confused, "No...no, just sit down, your making me nervous."

Wilson sat down and was getting more and more irritated with House, "Why the hell did you call me? I was sleeping, did you just want someone to watch you drink? Or did you just want to make sure I didn't get any sleep tonight?"

House looked at Wilson not really hearing what he had said. "Cuddy asked me on a date."

Wilson started laughing, "Like she'd ever..." He stopped when he noticed House's face was dead serious. "House how much have you had to drink?" Wilson said with concern.

House threw the bottle against the wall where it broke. "I'm not drunk." He stated looking straight into Wilson's eyes. "I said yes Wilson! Can you believe that, I said yes? Why the hell did I say yes?"

Wilson was delighted by the news, "I don't know, it could have something to do with the fact you care about her and she has a, how did you put it, 'smokin hot bod'."

House looked at him irritated, "Quit smiling you idiot. There is no way that this is going to end good. I'm going to say or do something and then things will get awkward at work, and then I'll do something to save a patient that she doesn't agree with and then I'll be fired."

Wilson listen to House's rant and could tell he was freaking out, "Hey, House it's just a date."

"Yeah well as you pointed out on my last date, it's been a while since I've been on one and last time I had some control. When the hell did women start asking out men?" House asked.

Wilson laughed, "House, it'll be fine, who knows maybe it'll be good."

House seemed to think about this and although he stopped panicking he seemed more worried. "For how long?" He asked looking at Wilson solemnly.

Wilson let out a sigh, "She's not Stacy, House."

House thought about that for a second and then remembered the rings. "How did your date go last night?"

Wilson was thrown of by the question, but figured House just wanted to take a break. "It went well, she's really nice, you'd hate her."

House smiled, "Well it sound like another Mrs. Wilson in the making, here take these, and by the way this counts as my wedding gift." House handed him the small black box.

Wilson gave him a suspicious look and then opened the box. "Where did you get these?"

"Does it matter?" House said.

Wilson looked back at the rings and pulled the diamond one out and started looking at the inside of the band.

House looked at him confused, "What you think I'm giving you fake rings?"

"No, I'm trying to read the engraving on the band." Wilson said still trying to get the right light.

House jumped up, "Give it back." He said seriously.

Wilson was now even more curious. "No I don't think I will." He said with a smile.

"Wilson, seriously give it back now." House's voice was low and warning.

Wilson looked up at House with his eyebrows raised, "Or what?" House gave him a death glare and Wilson jumped over the couch and ran into the bathroom locking the door behind him, then running and locking the other bathroom door to the bedroom.

"Wilson let me in now!" House yelled from the bathroom door he had made it to just three seconds to late.

Wilson was pleased with himself, "I will just right after I've read the engraving on the ring." Wilson turned on the light which as always was dim and finally was able to read it. _To the only woman who could love me Greg_ Wilson almost dropped the ring after he read it. He looked at the ring again, it had been so long since he had heard House talk about getting a ring made for Stacy, and even then he thought that House was just joking. Wilson swallowed hard as he wondered when he got them, was it before or after Stacy left? And why did he have them out tonight? Wilson unlocked the door now understanding why House didn't want him to read it.

House was sitting on the couch when Wilson walked out of the bathroom. He put his hand out and Wilson dropped the ring in his hand. Wilson didn't know what to say at first so they sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. "So, you got the rings made." House just stared at the ring in his hand. Wilson sighed, "It really did take them along time to get them to you, huh?"

House looked up with a questioning face and then looked back down at the ring, "I got them in two days before the infarction."

Wilson closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He then looked up to see House still staring at the rings. "What made you get them out tonight?" Wilson asked.

"It's the first night I've had them. Stacy... I was afraid she'd find them, so I left them at a restaurant that we liked, where I'd planned..." House let out a deep breath, "Anyways Cuddy promised to take me to dinner tonight, so I went there. I swear I didn't even remember I'd left them there, and of course they had kept them, just waiting for me to come in again."

Wilson couldn't take it anymore so he grabbed the rings from House's hand and put them back in the box. House looked at him and then back at the box. "Where to you want me to put them?" Wilson asked as he stood up.

"I don't want them, just take them." House said as he waved his hand.

Wilson shook his head and put the rings down on the coffee table. "No way, those things are cursed."

House rolled his eyes, "They're not cursed and with your luck in marriage you it wouldn't matter anyway."

"Say's the man who couldn't even get the ring on her finger." Wilson said back.

House's jaw clenched and he took two vicodins from his pill bottle and dry swallowed them. "Well maybe I could have if she wasn't screwing half the Hospital."

Wilson looked at House surprised. House had never told Wilson about Stacy's indiscretions, but he knew all to well about them. "Just because she cheated on you doesn't mean she didn't love you." Wilson said wondering how much House knew.

House stared straight at him, "Say's a man who cheats."

Wilson swallowed hard, "So you said that Cuddy took you to dinner tonight, what was that about."

House laughed, Wilson was so predictable. "I'll talk to you about it tomorrow, see you around one."

"Sure, thing." Wilson said as he got up and started towards the door. "House give this thing with Cuddy a chance alright."

House thought about it. "We'll see how it goes tomorrow," He said as he started towards the bedroom.

Wilson locked the door and let himself out. He hoped for House's sake that tomorrow went well.


	10. Chapter 10: Predate fight

Cuddy had just sat down after a busy morning when she heard the door bell ring. She looked at the clock to see that it was 9 am and then went to answer the door. When she opened it there stood Wilson with a goofy smile plastered on his face. "He told you? Of course he told you, I don't know why I wasn't expecting you." Cuddy said as she opened the door wider for Wilson.

Wilson smiled as he came in and hung up his coat. "So I hear you have a hot date tonight."

Cuddy let out a sigh, "What did he do call you the minute I left?"

"I don't know if it was the minute you left, but yeah around it." Wilson said. "He actually scared me half to death." Cuddy gave him a curious look. "House called and since I was asleep he left a message, which by the way he never does, saying, and I quote, 'Wilson it's an emergency get here as fast as you can.'"

"So he figured since you didn't answer he had the right to mess with you?" Cuddy said slightly irritated at House.

Wilson looked at her more seriously, "That's what I thought. But he was pretty freaked out about the whole date thing, more so than usual. I think in his mind it was an emergency."

Cuddy bit her lip as she thought about it. "It's just a date Wilson. I don't see why he'd be freaking out about it."

Wilson tried to explain, "To people like me and you, it'd be just a date, but we're comfortable socially and … well... House isn't. It's been over four years since his last date, which he had to be blackmailed into." Wilson paused as he thought about it. "The last time he went on a real date was with Stacy, and that was... like 15 years ago, because she moved in after their third date."

Cuddy walked into the living room and sat down on the couch thinking about what Wilson had said.

Wilson lifted an eyebrow at her, "To be honest, I think he's afraid of messing up, getting hurt, hurting someone or being rejected because of his leg, afraid of all of it."

Cuddy was starting to get nervous so she switched topics slightly, "I've always heard rumors, that Stacy wasn't faithful, but I recently heard that she was violent to him, but she never seemed that way." Cuddy said knowing that if anyone would know it would be Wilson.

Wilson swallowed and looked down. "Well looks can be deceiving."

Cuddy frowned, "I don't understand why House would put up with that, I mean it's not like him to let someone push him around."

Wilson shook his head, "House isn't the same person when he's dating someone, as he is at work. With medicine he's confident, with people he isn't. Actually that's why Stacy left, she called me the morning after she left and told me that earlier that week she and House had and argument and that she hit him hard, left bruises. She said..." Wilson sighed, "She said that she hit him on his leg, and that she realized that she didn't really love him if she could do that to him." Wilson gave a bitter laugh, "I told her to stay the hell away from him." Wilson looked at Cuddy with sad eyes, "When I went over... never mind you don't want to know."

Cuddy looked at him with a shocked expression, "I'm guessing he didn't take the news well."

Wilson shook his head, "When I told him that she called me to tell him it was over, he... House cried. I mean he was crying so hard he was shaking. He kept saying he pushed away the only woman who could love him." Wilson swallowed, "I didn't have the heart to tell him that she never did. And I wasn't ready for those bruises as frustrating as House can be, he didn't deserve that. Promise me you'll never do that to him."

"Of course not," Cuddy felt her anger rise, "She better hope she never sees..." Suddenly something popped into her head, "Why the hell did he even try to get with her when she came back?"

Wilson shrugged, "He loved her. House has a hard time letting people in, and once he has, he has an even harder time letting them go." He gave her the most serious look she had ever seen, "Be careful with him Cuddy, I'm not sure he's completely recovered from Stacy."

It was eleven in the morning when Cuddy once again found herself standing outside House's apartment. She wasn't sure why she was there, part of her wanted to reassure him about the date, the other part of her wanted to tell him the date was off. She had brought his shirt with her as an excuse. Cuddy knocked on the door and waited for House to answer. She could hear talking and movement inside and within a couple of minutes the door opened revealing House in a pair of boxer briefs and a tee shirt.

"Cuddy? What are you doing here?" House said he leaned against the door frame pulling the door as to only allow her to see him as his right hand covered the scar on his thigh.

Cuddy was surprised to see him in his boxers, and then got suspicious. "Who were you talking to?" She asked trying to look in.

"Greg, I'm going to grab a water, okay?" A woman said from inside the apartment.

Cuddy gave House a look of disbelief and push the door more open only to see the same woman she had caught with House the night she went to thank him for the desk.

House let out a frustrated sigh. "She's my.." He didn't get to finish the sentence as Cuddy pushed his shirt into his stomach and cut him off.

"I know what she is!" Cuddy hissed. She had really thought that this might work, but now she was happy it was over before it began. "You couldn't go one day without calling a hooker? You are such a bastard!"

House's jaws clenched, "Yeah that's right, she's my hooker and if you don't mind I'd like to get my money's worth!"

"What the hell Greg? You better tell her the truth." The women said as she joined them at the door.

"Tell me the truth about what?" Cuddy said as she glared at House.

House was so mad every muscle in his body tense, "You can't tell someone who already knows EVERYTHING, anything." He said staring at Cuddy.

"I'm his masseuse," The woman said as she held out a hand to Cuddy, in which Cuddy just stared at it. "Greg, I've got another appointment at one so we really need to get started."

"Oh, I bet you do." Cuddy said sarcastically.

The masseuse lunged at Cuddy and House put out his arm and pulled her back into the apartment. She looked at House in a fury, "Tell me that this isn't your date!"

"Not anymore." House said looking irritated and slightly hurt.

Cuddy gave a bitter smile, "I'm glad we're finally in agreement on something!"

"Listen here bitch, the only reason he called me was so I could massage his leg so it wouldn't hurt so bad on his damn date with you!" The woman said in a raised voice.

House cringed, he hated it when people talked about his pain.

"Really, is that what you were doing in his office a month ago?" Cuddy said snidely.

"No, he paid me to pretend I was a patient to play a joke on some of the doctor he works with." The masseuse said.

Cuddy thought about it for a minute, what the masseuse said sounded so much like House that she knew it had to be true. "But then why did you try to hide her?" Cuddy said now feeling somewhat foolish.

House looked at Cuddy, "I didn't want you to know I got massages. It sounds so... Wilson." House said looking back down. The masseuse walked back into the living room to give them so privacy

Cuddy could tell he was somewhat embarrassed. "I think it's great. It's a lot better way to deal with the pain than... well some of your other methods. I'll just leave and I'll see you again at seven." Cuddy said as she started to leave.

"No, we shouldn't do this." House said watching Cuddy as she turned back to him.

"House this was just a misunderstanding." Cuddy said softly.

House rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "Cuddy this is crazy, this will never work and in the end I'm afraid it's going to make things worse. We should just stop this now before things start getting any weirder than they already are." House said looking her straight in the eyes.

"House..." Cuddy said softly as she put her hand on his chest, but was cut off before she could finish.

House could tell she was about to try and talk him back into the date, "I'm the same man I was a week ago Cuddy. I know you think I'm someone else now because of the last couple of days, but I'm not. I'm still a ass who will hurt you. Dammit Cuddy, I don't want you to hate me before this is over."

"House, it's just a date, everything will be fine." Cuddy said with a smile rubbing his chest slightly.

House gave her a worried look, "Give me one reason why we should do this."

Cuddy thought about it for a moment, and then smiled she wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down to a short soft kiss.

House looked at her startled, "This..."

Cuddy got him to shut up by kissing him again this time longer and more intense, in seconds House was kissing her back with passion and she pulled away from him with an evil smile. "So how's that for a reason?"

House licked his lips tasting her on him. He gave a chuckle, "You are evil... and... I'll see you at seven."

Cuddy smiled, "Good," she said and walked away swinging her hips more than usual.

House watched her and rubbed his lips then smiled and went back into his apartment.

Wilson knocked on House's door a hour later.

"It's unlocked, just come in Wilson." House said from inside the apartment.

Wilson came in to find that the apartment was clean. He looked around amazed and then smiled, "You like her."

"Shut up." House said as he finished dusting the piano.

Wilson tried to get the smile off his face. "Fine, so what do you plan on wearing."

House looked around nervously, "I thought I'd go and get a couple of new clothes." He tried to sound casual.

Wilson looked at him blankly and blinked.

"What? You've been trying to get me to go and get new clothes for the last ten years." House said annoyed.

"Exactly, ten years I've been trying, but Cuddy asks you on a date and suddenly..." Wilson was cut off by House.

"Stop it, stop smiling." House said as he grabbed his cane and walked over to an end table and picked up his keys and wallet. "New clothes are good, right?" House asked unsure.

Wilson kept the smile off his face. "Yeah House, new clothes are good."

On the way to the store House gave Wilson a brief overview of what had happened in the last couple of days between him and Cuddy. When they pulled up to the store House read the name, _Just Tall_, and started to get out of the car. "So you think I'll like this place?"

Wilson just shrugged and kept walking into the store, and House followed. The store was broken up into several sections, there was Laid Back, Workin It, Suit Up , Kickin It, and Polish. House couldn't help but notice that he his closet mainly looked like the Laid Back section. House stopped at the Kickin It section.

"Hey, I thought you were here for clothes not sneakers." Wilson said as he watched House looking through the shoes.

"What's the old saying 'Shoes make the man?'" House said with a smile as he started looking at the dress shoes. "Wow, these things look uncomfortable." His smile faded as he picked up a shoe and looked at it.

"They are, but these are some of the most comfortable shoes you'll ever wear." Said an associate with a name tag that read Bart said. He was holding up a white leather slip-on style shoe to House.

House looked at the shoe in the mans hand, "What colors do you have them in?"

"In stock, only the white. We have some black and brown ones coming in next Thursday. Would you like to try them on?" Bart asked.

House thought about it for a second, "Do you have them in a 13 ½?"

Bart pulled out a pair of the shoes in Houses size with in a couple of seconds. "Here you go sir."

House sat down in one of the chairs and put on the shoes. They fit perfectly, not too tight and good arch support. House looked up at Bart with a smirk, "You mind if I take them for a spin?"

Bart smiled, "Not at all."

House stood up using his cane and was even more impressed, the soles were flexing with his feet. He took a few more steps and he couldn't help but smile. "Only in white."

"House, you aren't really considering getting those." Wilson said looking at the white shoes.

House took another couple of steps, "Why not, they're comfortable?"

Wilson was surprised House was even considering the shoes, "House, they're white."

"So are you, and I'm still friends with you." House mocked then looked back at Bart, "I'll take them."

"Great, you want me to take them to the front while you look around some more?" Bart asked trying to be helpful.

House thought about it, "Actually, I think I'll just keep them on." He said with a smile.

"Great," Bart said and then he brought him a white leather belt. "You might want to consider this to go along with the shoes."

"Looks good," House said after trying on the belt. "Now I just need a suit."

It took four hours before House and Wilson were at the apartment again. House opened the door and fell onto the couch. A minute later Wilson walked through the left open door holding a mountain of clothing bags that he took into House's room and laid on the bed then returned to the living room and flopped down on the couch next to House. They both sat there for a few minutes looking exhausted.

"How can shopping be so exhausting?" House mumbled as he cracked his neck.

Wilson gave House an annoyed look. "Well I don't know why you're tired, I know I am because I just had to carry in fifty pounds of clothes."

"Well how the hell was I suppose to carry them?" House asked angry. "If you haven't forgotten I'm a fucking cripple."

"Well someone is just a ray of sunshine today." Wilson said dripping with sarcasm. House had he head leaned back against the couch with his eyes closed. He kept swallowing and was rubbing his thigh. Now that Wilson was looking harder he could see the slight sweat that covered House's forehead. "Hey, House you okay?" Wilson asked with concern.

"I'm fine." House said with his eyes still closed.

"Well, that reassuring even if you look like crap right now." Wilson said flatly. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Trash can." House mumbled.

Wilson jumped up and got the trash can quickly. House grabbed the trash can from him practically hugging it as he vomited. Wilson got House a cold wet rag and handed it to him.

House looked at him with irritation. "I didn't ask for that, you don't have to baby me." House said but took the rag anyway and wiped his face with it, then started vomiting again.

Wilson smiled happy that House had taken the rag even if he acted like an ass about it. Half an hour passed of retching, grunting, and the phrase 'Not again' before it seemed to have subsided. "So I guess your nerves are starting to get to you." Wilson said off handed.

House had finally put the trash can down and was leaning back while rubbing his thigh again. "Nerves had nothing to do with it."

"Well it wasn't the hot dogs, I had the same thing as you and I feel fine." Wilson said eying House.

House's breathing was labored, "No, I haven't taken any vicodin today." House said using both hand to try and massage the pain out of his leg.

Wilson eyebrows shot up, "None?"

House shook his head.

Wilson looked at him with confusion, "Why not?"

"I had a massage earlier and my leg felt... well better than usual, so I figured I'd try and see how long I could go with out the vicodin. By the way could you hand me the bottle on the coffee table." House said as he glanced at the bottle.

Wilson handed it to him and with in seconds House was chewing two of the pills. Wilson knew that meant the pain had to at least be a seven. "Why didn't you just take some when it started hurting again." Wilson asked concerned.

"I didn't take them with me." House said as he closed his eyes and kept rubbing.

Wilson looked at him dumbfounded, "But you always take them with you. Hell you keep bottles in all your coat pockets just so you always have them." Wilson waited for House to say something, but he didn't. "House, why didn't you take them with you?"

House licked his lips and swallowed, "I didn't trust myself not to take them just out of habit."

Wilson was blown away by House's honesty, and thought for a minute. "I'm glad you're trying to tone down the amount of vicodin you take, but next time try only bringing two pills or leaving them in the car."

"Could you start the tub, it takes ten minutes to fill and my leg could really use a hot soak?" House asked.

"Well, I could but would I is..." Wilson stopped at the irritated look House was giving him. "Yeah sure." Wilson start the tub and then went back to the living room. "I'm surprised you got as much as you did." Wilson said trying to take Houses mind off the pain.

House smirked, "Yeah, well I don't want to have to do that again for another ten years."

Wilson laughed, "Oh come on, it wasn't that bad... except for the last hour, which I'm guessing is when the pain started to get bad."

House shrugged because he didn't want to admit he actually had fun. "At least I got a bitchin' suit and some comfortable shoes."

Wilson cringed, "I can't believe you bought those shoes, and as for the suit, I wouldn't really know if it's 'bitchin' or not since you wouldn't let me see it."

House smiled, "Haven't you ever seen those make over shows? You aren't suppose to reveal everything until the end."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Well if this is a make over then you might want to think about shaving."

House ran his hand through his facial hair and frowned at the thought of losing it. "Why?"

"You mean mister obsessive missed something?" Wilson said with a smile. House's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Cuddy only dates clean cut guys."

House frowned, "But I like my scruff."

Wilson shrugged, "Whatever, you can half ass this and see how that works."

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson and stood up slower than usual, because of the pain in his leg. "I'm going to start that soak so I can get ready, just watch some TV and don't make a mess." House said in a fatherly tone.

Wilson chuckled, "Out of the two of us, I'm the clean one."

House limped off without another word into the bathroom.

It was forty five minutes later when House walked back out. "Well, what do you think?"

Wilson smiled big, "Wow... now tell me what you've done with House?" Wilson asked as he stood up and looked him over.

"Seriously, does it look okay?" House asked anxiously.

"I honestly have to say, I don't think I've ever seen you look better House." Wilson said still smiling, "Cuddy isn't going to know what hit her."


	11. Chapter 11: Purple Lilacs and Green Eyes

It was seven on the dot when House heard a knock on his door. House was in the restroom adjusting the tie Wilson had put on him for what felt like the hundredth time. His heart raced as he slowly walked to the door. He swallowed and let out a sigh trying to calm his nervous and then opened the door. The first thing he noticed was that she was wearing a black dress, and he couldn't help but be slightly disappointed. He was sure she would wear red, and then he noticed the expression on her face, her mouth was open as if she was about to say something and she had a confused look.

Cuddy couldn't believe what she was seeing. House was clean shaven and his hair was slightly curly and combed back, he was wearing a dark blue stripped suit that was buttoned with a solid white dress shirt, tie, white belt and oddly enough a pair of nice white dress shoes. Cuddy looked over him again and noticed that he also had a folded handkerchief in his coat pocket with a red rose bud.

The more she looked at him the more she seemed to look confused. After a minute House decided that he must look like an idiot. "This was stupid, I'm going to go change." House said and turned around, but was stopped by Cuddy's hand on his left arm. He didn't turn around because he couldn't stand to see the disappointment that he was sure would be there.

Cuddy walked around to face him again and notice his eyes were closed, "House... you look absolutely incredible." She watched as he opened his eyes and could see the uncertainty in them. "You... you... shaved?" Cuddy said looking at him with and amazed smile. House just swallowed. "Can I feel?" She asked. House just nodded. Cuddy gently let her fingers brush his soft smooth skin and then she felt him rub his face in her hand in a nuzzling way. She knew he was nervous and was happy to be of some comfort. Then he gently turned his face in her hand and gave it a soft kiss. Cuddy let her hands glide down to his chest. "This suit is amazing." She said with a smile looking at the rose bud in his pocket, who would have guessed House was a closeted romantic.

"I thought you would like it, since it's blue." House said watching her.

Cuddy gave him a half smile, "I do like you in blue."

House gave a slight smile, then looked at her more seriously, "Is it because of my eyes?"

Cuddy smiled even though she was surprised by the question. She put her right hand up to his face and rubbed her thumb across his cheekbone beside his eye, "Yes Greg, it's because of your eyes." She saw the emotion that his name invoked. His eyes locked on hers and she could see confusion, hurt, fear, awe, and the one that surprised her the most, hope.

He looked down quickly to shield himself from her. He loved the way his name sounded on her lips. Then he remembered something. "I got something for you." He said softly and limped around her into the kitchen, then brought back a clear container with a large purple lilac.

Cuddy couldn't help but laugh, "A corsage Greg?"

House shrugged and looked her in the eyes, "You've always known I'm cheesy, Lisa." He said with a shy smile.

Cuddy bit her lip and smiled. He was reminding her more and more of the young man she dated shortly in med school. She looked at the corsage in his hand, "I love lilacs."

"I know," He said with a smirk.

Cuddy couldn't help but wonder how he always seemed to know the oddest things about her. "You going to put it on?" She asked watching him.

House opened the container and took out the flower then gave her an awkward smile and started trying to pin it on her dress without seeming like a perv. "There," He said after a couple of minute taking a final look to make sure the flower was straight he looked at Cuddy. He was closer than he had intended and the smell of her perfume was drawing him in. She had a slight smile on and was looking at his lips. House started to move closer, when she suddenly turned her head.

"We should probably get going." Cuddy said quickly. She could tell he had been about to kiss her, and was afraid if it started then she wouldn't be able to stop it. He looked too good, was being too sweet.

House pulled away from her quickly. "Yeah," he answered back looking up.

Cuddy could tell she had confused him, "Well how do I look?" She asked with a smile.

House looked at her and smiled, "Nice," he said.

"Nice?" Cuddy said with a cocked eyebrow, she could tell he was thinking something he wasn't saying.

"You look great, it's just... never mind, like I said you look great." House said and gave her a small smile, "I guess we need to go right?"

"Not just yet," Cuddy said as she looked him in the eye, "What were you going to say?"

House shrugged, "Nothing, it was nothing. Now can we go, I'm starving." He said which wasn't far from the truth.

Cuddy let out a sigh, "House I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what you were going to say." She had both hands on her hips.

House looked at her with a dark expression. "So it's House now? What happened to Greg?" Cuddy reached her hand out to reassure him but he stepped away and watched her as if she might be an enemy. House shook his head and started taking off his tie, because he couldn't wear it any longer, "I just thought you'd be wearing red." He said and threw the tie at the couch.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy said afraid he was going to refuse to go on the date now.

"I'm taking off that damn tie, I don't see how Wilson breaths with those things on." House said as he unbuttoned the top button on his shirt.

Cuddy relaxed happy he wasn't calling off the date yet. "I think it looks more you without the tie, which is a good thing. So why did you think I'd be wearing red?" She said watching him.

House had always assumed that she knew, and was now embarrassed to have to explain. "I like you in red." He mumbled looking at his shoes.

Cuddy looked at him confused, "What? I couldn't hear you?"

House sighed and looked her in the eyes, "I like you in red."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cuddy asked.

"I always thought it was obvious. Stealing your red thong should have made it pretty clear." House said giving her a small smirk. "Speaking of panties, don't you owe me some?"

Cuddy laughed, "Let's get through the date and then we'll talk panties. I know I'm going to hate myself for asking, but what will you do with them."

House's eyes lit up, "Well first I'll..."

Cuddy put her hand over House's mouth, "Never mind, I really don't want to know."

House laughed as she removed her hand and followed her out of the apartment.

House looked around at the entrance of the restaurant that Cuddy was taking him to. It was definitely a fine dinning establishment and he straightened his shoulders hoping to cover-up his nerves and opened the door for Cuddy. There was a small group of people standing around waiting to be seated.

"I'm going to go to the restroom, just let them know we are here, I have a reservation." Cuddy said and gave his elbow a squeeze and then left.

House looked around feeling out of place. Then a young woman dressed in a solid white dress walked over to him. "Hello, do you have a reservation?" She asked as she looked him over giving him a smile.

House gave a nervous smile, "Yes, Dr. Cuddy."

The women gave him a bigger smile and bit her lip, "Let me check if your table is ready sir, just one minute." The women walked to a podium and then came back, "It'll be just a couple of minutes. So you are a doctor?"

House couldn't wait for Cuddy to get back, "Yes."

"Really, because I need to find a new doctor. Do you have a card so I could set up an appointment sometime." The woman said batting her eyes.

House couldn't believe that this girl was flirting with him. "Sorry, didn't bring any with me." House said with false sympathy.

The woman gave a small pout and then her eyes lit up, "That's fine, I can just look you up, it's Dr. Cuddy, right?"

"Actually, I'm Dr. Cuddy." Cuddy said with a irritated smile.

"Oh," The woman said as her smile faded, "But I thought you were a doctor?" The woman said confused.

House gave a polite smile, "I'm Dr. House."

"Oh, good," The women said smiling again, "So is this a business dinner?"

"No, It's a date." Cuddy answered as soon as the question was asked.

"That's nice," Said the woman with disappointment in her voice. "I can take your walking stick, sir." She said looking back at House with a polite smile.

House was confused, "I think I'll just keep it it."

"It's no trouble, we keep a lot of customers walking sticks." The woman said with a smile and reached for the cane.

"Actually, it would be trouble for him, see he can't walk with out it." Cuddy said in an aggravated tone, stopping the woman from taking the cane.

House glanced around and then looked at the floor, he really wished he could just disappear.

The women looked confused for a second, then it hit her, "Oh my god, your a cripple. I'm... so sorry, I didn't know." She said apologizing to House. "It's become a trend for men to carry walking stick, I just thought..."

House looked back up at her, "It's fine, glad to know that after ten years, I'm in with the newest trends."

The woman gave him a sad smile and showed them to their table. House pulled out Cuddy's chair and walked over to his, where she stood to the side of House expectantly. House gave her a confused look. "Your coat?" She asked and he started taking off his coat and she helped him, which only made him feel more uncomfortable. "Nice suit." The woman said again in a flirtatious way.

House smiled back, "Nice eyes, did you know that green eye's are actually a mutation that occurs in less than five percent of the human population?"

The woman blinked at him confused, "Um.. No I didn't, thanks... I think." She said as she walked away.

House couldn't keep the smile off his face as he sat down.

"I guess I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, I can't even go to the restroom with out you flirting" Cuddy said in a somewhat playful and somewhat irritated tone.

"Actually she was flirting with me." House said smugly

Cuddy couldn't help but be snippy, "Well obviously she doesn't know you or see what you usually wear."

House felt the sting in her words and his face became stone cold, "Thanks." He said flatly.

Cuddy noticed the change in House and suddenly she realized how bitchy she was being. "House, I shouldn't have... I didn't mean..." She was cut off by House.

"No I understand perfectly. No one that spends any time with me on a regular basis would like me or flirt with me... So Dr. Cuddy, what are we doing here." House said with out emotion and a pensive stare.

Cuddy felt chilled by his stare. "I'm sorry, it's just hard not to be a little jealous when a woman half your age is hitting on your date."

House cocked an eyebrow, "Well your ass is twice as big as hers and so's your rack, so by my calculations that would make you at least twice the woman." He said with a smirk.

Cuddy looked at him with a hurt expression and then she masked it with a smile. "Well, don't lay on the complements too thick, I'm blushing so much already."

House sighed in a defeated manner, "You don't listen to what I'm saying, so I'll put it in terms you can understand. You have the kind of body men crave and the brains that they never will have." He was looking her straight in the eyes.

Cuddy blushed and Houses words and the truth in his eyes. "I didn't know you felt that way."

House swallowed and looked around nervously glad when he spotted the waiter that was coming to their table.

"Good evening, my name is Mark and I'll be your waiter this evening. What may I bring you in the way of drinks." The waiter said looking at both of them.

Cuddy smiled at the waiter, "I'll have a gin and tonic, thank you."

"And I'll have the same." House said hoping the gin would help his nerves.


	12. Chapter 12: Bad Donor

Time seemed to go by slowly, while House and Cuddy switched between silence and small talk about work. They had the smoked salmon for the appetizer and had just gotten their meals when they finally started feeling comfortable.

"Well this looks wonderful," Cuddy said with a smile looking at the plates. She had ordered the sea scallops and House had ordered the bone-in rib-eye.

"I bet it taste even better." House said as he started cutting his steak.

"Lisa, how nice it is to see you outside of the Hospital," said Andrew Wellington, a wealthy donor.

Cuddy stopped cutting her first bite and smiled, "Mr. Wellington what a pleasure to see you. I do hope that you will be able to make it to the fund-raising party we have set next week."

Andrew laughed, "I've told you to call me Andrew, and I promise if you'll be there, I'll be there." He placed his hand on her shoulder.

Cuddy smiled politely, "Andrew, I'm so glad you'll be able to make it. This is Dr. House, the head of our Diagnostics Department." She said as she nodded towards House.

House was chewing and gave Andrew a fake smile and a nod.

Andrew smiled falsely back, "Oh Lisa, I didn't realize you were doing charity today."

House swallowed his bite and wiped his mouth with napkin the keeping eye contact with Andrew the whole time. "Oh you?" House said with a fake laugh, "I'm glad to know you didn't go to Harvard for nothing. That stand up routine is really worth the money, since you didn't really need a degree to run you father's company."

Andrew's jaw tightened and House couldn't help himself from pushing farther. "Oh, that's right, you didn't actually graduate. Did you put that on your resume when you applied to be the president of a multimillion dollar company?" House said in a sarcastic tone.

"House," Cuddy said in a warning tone.

Andrew smiled back with narrowed eyes on House, "I had to leave college to take care of the company, since my father had a stroke, of course that kind of responsibility is something you would know nothing about House."

House faked a look of complete defeat, "Your right Andrew. I mean all I have to do is make decisions which could either save or kill someone. Being named best in the world at Diagnostic Medicine is really like being called the best cook at a McDonald's."

Andrew laughed, "You know my niece was actually one of your patients. She said that you were the worst Doctor she had ever had. She almost died under your care. So I guess best doesn't mean much when it comes to you."

"What was her diagnosis finally?" House asked as though it was the only thing that interested him.

Andrew eyed House wondering why it mattered. "Para-neoplastic Neurologic Syndromes."

House smirked, "PNS is one of the rarest diseases in the world, with symptoms that range from rashes to organ failure, which is how it earned the title of hardest disease to diagnose. Last year out of the 827 confirmed cases of PNS world wide, only 18 patients survived, which is right at 2%. In my career I've diagnosed 146 cases of PNS, and only lost 3 patients, which means that I've saved 98% of my patients who had the disease. I currently hold the record for diagnosing the most cases of PNS in the world, Dr. Fuller has confirmed the second highest number at 59."

Andrew looked at House as if he hadn't heard a word, "She still said you were the worse doctor she's ever met."

"Is she still alive?" House asked flatly. Andrew glared at House. "Well then I did my job, I'm a doctor not an assistant who gets paid to laugh at your jokes." House said as he stood up.

Andrew smiled at House. "You might want to be careful, wouldn't want you to hurt yourself." Andrew said looking at House's leg with a smirk. "You maybe quick with your tongue House, but your not quite so quick on your feet, are you?" Andrew said with a smug smirk.

House was no longer pretending to be nice, his eyes were dark and warning. "I'm quick enough." House's hands felt around and then he looked down to discover his cane was missing.

"You looking for this?" Andrew said politely holding the cane. House's eyes bored into Andrew. "I was just wondering how it must feel to be so dependent on something, to know that with out it you couldn't make it."

House's jaw clenched, "I can live without my cane."

Andrew smiled as he held the cane toward House but just out of his grasp. "Oh, I wasn't talking about this crutch, no, I was talking about your other one, you know the vicodin."

House put his hand on his right thigh and took a step towards Andrew and grabbed his cane. "You think I'm not in pain?" House asked, as he stood in front of him.

Cuddy stood up quickly, she had heard enough of this and could see if she didn't interject it was only going to progress. "Mr. Wellington, I'm glad that you took the time to say hello, but I don't want to take up any more of your precious time, and Dr. House and I have other engagements that we would like to make on time, so please have a nice night and I'll see you at the benefit."

Andrew smiled at Cuddy, "Yes Lisa, once again your timing is remarkable, some how you are always there in the nick of time to save those who are unworthy of your attention. I do look forward to see you at the benefit, who knows, maybe Dr. House will come and we can finish this conversation at that time." With that Andrew shook Lisa's hand and walked out of the restaurant with a swagger.

After Cuddy saw Andrew finally exit the restaurant she sat down, only to look up and notice that House was still standing in the same spot with his hands in tight fists, staring at the door Andrew had just left out of. Cuddy didn't know what she should say, the things Andrew had said to him were horrible, and Cuddy couldn't believe he had taken House's cane. She looked at the food that now sat on the table practically untouched. "House, the food is getting cold."

House looked at her with cold eyes, "Start without me, I need to go to the restroom," and with that House turned and walked away and into the restroom. House was so angry he wanted to hit something, he wasn't sure who had bothered him the most Andrew or how Cuddy had reacted. House rinsed his face off hoping it would help him calm down. He knew that she had stopped the situation, because she was afraid of what would happen, but he couldn't help but wonder who she was afraid for, Andrew or him. House dried his face off and took a couple of deep breaths and made his way back to the table.

House sat down and watched as Cuddy continued with her meal without looking up. It agitated House that she was ignoring him. "Well I'm back." He said watching her.

Cuddy finished her bite and gave him a awkward smile, "That's nice, the food is delicious. How's your steak?" Cuddy asked, trying to just forget the last 15 minutes.

"After what just happened, you want to talk about the food?" House asked with irritation.

Cuddy let out a deep sigh, "Yes Greg, I want to talk about the food, because we are at a nice restaurant on a date. The last 15 minutes weren't pleasant for either of us, and I think it's best to just try and enjoy the rest of our evening."

House's jaw was set tight. He wasn't about to let this go so easily, and he didn't appreciate that she had used his name to try and calm him down after referring to him as House in front of Andrew. "Yes Lisa, we are on a date, so why didn't you tell him that?" House asked as his eyes narrowed on her.

Cuddy was irritated that he wouldn't just let this go. "Because it's none of his business." She stated firmly as she continued eating.

"But it was the hostesses business." House with contempt.

Cuddy put her fork down hard. "He's a donor for the Hospital House. I'm your boss, I don't want him to getting the wrong idea, believe it or not some of us care about our reputation."

House looked at her with cold eyes, "and by the wrong idea you mean, that you wouldn't want him to think you like me, right?"

Cuddy looked at House with anger, "Do you have any idea how many times I've saved your ass? I can't even count the times, and I don't want him or any of the other donors questioning why I did it."

"I've never asked you to 'save' me." House said bitterly.

"No you haven't, you just continually put me in a position where I have to you arrogant asshole." Cuddy said almost seething. "You treat your patients like crap, and don't give a crap about the rules or policy, you make it impossible for anyone to like you or even be able to tolerate you."

"I'm not trying to win a popularity contest. I do what has to be done to do my job, which is to save lives that everyone else has given up on and if I'm so much trouble to you then why do you do it?" House asked.

"Because your the best damn doctor I've ever seen, who know you might even be the best doctor in the world House." Cuddy said and then let out a deep breath.

"Then why didn't you tell him that?" House asked with a stern voice.

"Because, I'm not going to lose him as a donor because of you House, it isn't all about you. There are other departments in the Hospital that could use that money to save lives." Cuddy said with irritation. "You should have just kept your mouth shut to him, and then everything would be fine, but that would be impossible for you wouldn't it."

House looked at her with a mixture of hurt and anger, "This is my fault now? He called me a charity case, and you're mad at me. Maybe he was right, is that what this is? You donating your time to the poor pathetic cripple, because no one likes me."

Cuddy could tell she had hit a nerve with him and reached her hand towards his hand which was balled into a fist and he pulled back quickly before she could touch him. Why couldn't he ever just let things go, this is what she was afraid would happen, they would push each other until one of them got hurt. "No Greg, that's not what this is, I just don't see how you made things better by confronting him."

House's eyes narrowed on her. "Unlike you, my pride, self-respect and dignity aren't for sale."

Cuddy looked at him with a shocked expression. "Neither are mine, I'm not saying I agree with Andrew, actually I think he was a complete jerk. I'm just saying it really didn't make anything better did it?"

House looked at her with frustration. "With him no, but at least I know that when it comes down to it you'll sail me down the river without so much as a blink of an eye. So I guess you could say I've learned more about you." House shook his head and then gave her a fake smile, "But I guess I already knew that, when you voted for my dismissal when Vogler was at the hospital."

Cuddy swallowed hard, "You think it was easy for me to sit there and listen to him talk that way about you? Or that I didn't hate myself for voting for you to be removed from the Hospital? It's always hard, and you don't try to make it easy, it's hard on anyone that cares about you House, because if there is one thing you are consistent on it's pushing against the powerful and you don't care how much trouble you get into. Losing your job, or going to jail, it doesn't matter to you as long as you have the last say, and you don't care what position you put your friends in me or Wilson. And just so you know, I care about you House, but when it comes between you and the Hospital, I'll always chose the Hospital."

"Great, at least I finally know where I stand." House said flatly with cold eyes.

Cuddy gave a bitter laugh, "Like you've ever sacrificed anything for anyone."

House eyes darkened, "Just a couple of months ago I agreed to risk my life because my friend asked me too. Everyday I limp into that Hospital and give you everything I have, sometimes more than what I have to do my job. Do you have any idea how many times I've slept in my office because I was in too much pain to make it home?" Suddenly House looked away realizing he had said more that he had meant too. He took a few deep breaths and glanced up to see pity in her eyes, which made him feel even more awkward. "You said we had other engagements... was that true?"

It took Cuddy a couple of seconds to realize he was talking to her. She had been so shocked by his confession of pain, House always acted like what he did was second nature to him, she hadn't considered that he was pushing himself, and maybe too hard. "Um.. yes, I planned on us meeting Wilson and his date for drinks."

"Really? Why didn't he tell me when he was over?" House asked cutting a piece of the steak and popping it into his mouth.

Cuddy blinked at him a little surprised by the sudden casualness in his voice and the complete change of subject. She decided to go with it, it was better than fighting with him. "Probably because I asked him when I saw him leaving your apartment."

"Oh," House said and ate another piece of the steak. "When are we suppose to meet them?"

Cuddy looked at the clock on the wall, "In about twenty minutes, I guess we better get to eating." She said and took a bite of her meal.

House chuckled, "Don't worry we have plenty of time left. If I actually showed up on time Wilson might have a panic attack."

Cuddy laughed, "Well we wouldn't want that to happen would we." They both laughed and continued eating the rest of their meal in mainly silence.

By the time they made it back to Houses apartment it was almost eleven. "I just don't get what Wilson sees in her, she's not even that attractive." House said as he walked into the apartment with Cuddy behind him.

"It's so nice to know that you were checking out Wilson's date while on a date with me." She said jokingly giving him a playful push as he sat down on the couch.

House smirked back, "I'm just worried about him, maybe he's loosing his touch, or his eyesight, but somethings defiantly wrong."

Cuddy laughed and straddled him. House looked at her surprised. "Can we stop talking about Wilson now," she whispered in his ear.

House could hear his heart beating in his ears and he nodded, then he felt her kiss his ear. He licked his lip as she started kiss up his jaw and then he finally turned his head so that their lips met and started kiss her back.

Cuddy was surprised by the gentleness of his kiss and rubbed her hands across his chest. She soon felt his hands softly running up and down her back. She pushed farther into his mouth forcing him to let her tongue slip in and increase the slow speed he had been going at.

House pulled back and took some deep breaths his eyes were dilated and his hands had now traveled lower holding her ass. He took in her blushed cheeks and lustful eyes and was sure he'd never seen anything so hot in his entire life, then he started kissing her neck stopping every so often to suck the soft flesh.

"Greg," Cuddy moaned as he found one of her more sensitive spots and as he nipped at it she started rotating her hips on top of him.

House's eyes shot open and his mouth hung open as he felt her grind herself against him. He looked at her in awe and she started kissing his neck sucking hard on some spots just so she could hear him struggle not to moan as he was biting his bottom lip.

This was all happening so much faster than House had planned, and it felt so good he wasn't sure he could stop it as his hands pulled her closer him and he found her lips once again and started kissing her passionately.

"Mmm.." She purred as they kissed and she grinded herself more against the hardness that was now obvious in his pants. Cuddy pulled back and got her breath then he pulled her back in and kissed her lustfully and her hands started undoing his buttons on his shirt.

"Oh," House moaned as he thew his head back, the feeling of her nails raking across his chest making him even more turned on. Cuddy smirked and continued unbuttoning his shirt, softly scratching him and kissing his neck. "Lisa.." He moaned deeply and pulled her back up to his red swollen lips and started kiss her softly.

Cuddy felt as one of his hands glided up her ribcage and started slowly massaging her breast and his hips had started rolling in sync with hers.

He was getting so hard it was painful, but it felt so good at the same time. House knew he should stop this before it went to far, but it had been so long since he had felt anything like this and he's body couldn't resist Cuddy's touches.

Cuddy pulled away from his lips again and looked at him. His eyes were closed tight and he was panting, she loved knowing that she could do this to him. Cuddy watched his face as her hand found it's way between them and she rubbed him through his pants. House clenched his jaw and sucked air through his teeth, then he opened his eyes to look down at her hand stroking his hard cock through his pants and he closed his eyes quickly getting so turned on he was afraid that he might just lose it all together, he pushed his head deep into the couch as his hips pushed harder against her hand.

Cuddy was pleased with the reaction and used her other hand to scratch up and down his chest, then after she felt like she had tortured him enough she stopped scratching him and started undoing the belt and suddenly House hands were on her and he had stopped all movement. Cuddy looked up to see his blue eyes watching her.

"Where is this going?" He asked

Cuddy smiled, "Your right, we might as well take this into the bedroom."

House looked down and licked his lips in a shameful manner. Then looked up at her the whole time still holding her hands. "I don't mean this... I mean us."

Cuddy could see the uncertainty in his eyes. She hadn't truly thought about it, "I don't know, I thought we were just having fun."

House thought about this, he knew he was going to hate himself later, but he also knew he could deal with that better than he could Cuddy hating him. "Then maybe we should hold off on the bedroom until you know what you want."

Cuddy could tell he was serious and she suddenly felt awkward sitting on top of him, she moved to the side of him careful not to bump his right thigh. "What do you want?"

House was willing to take whatever she felt she could give, but he knew if he said that she would make a quick decision that she might regret later. "I'm not sure, all I know is that a couple of months ago I kissed you and we didn't talk about, and then things got weird at work, all because we had different expectations of what it had meant." House could see that Cuddy was thinking. "Things are already more confusing, you've seen things that I never wanted you to see, and you have a kid now. I need to know what you want from me... a night, a week, mouths... years." House almost whispered the last sentence.

Cuddy didn't know what to say, she had never expected this from him.

House let out a sigh, "Lisa I want this so much, but I want to make sure we do this right."

Cuddy looked him in the eyes, "Greg, I don't know...I just don't know what I want."

House could see the worry in her eyes, "I know, and that's okay, I want you to take your time and think about this, that's why I don't want an answer until at least Wednesday, and if you need longer then just let me know." Houses eyes dropped from hers, "and if you decide you don't want this at all, just don't show Wednesday and I'll understand."

Cuddy was just got up from the couch and started towards the door now starting to feel overwhelmed by the decision she had to make.

House barely caught her before she opened the door. He looked at her as if he was afraid she might decide at any minute to slap him, as he leaned in closer and then closed his eyes as he kissed her, she kissed him back and he pulled her closer to him. He only let go of her when he could feel his lungs burning with the need of oxygen. He pulled away and breathed the air.

Cuddy looked at him with confusion and a slight smile. "What was that for?" She asked

House looked at her and answered truthfully, "In case you decide you don't want this."

Cuddy swallowed as she saw the fear in his eyes, and she smiled, "That's the one thing I know wont happen, I'll be here on Wednesday. Goodnight Greg." She said and left him standing there as she opened the door and walked out.

House watched the sway of her hips as she walked and smiled when she looked over her should and caught him. He pushed the door close with the tip of his cane and looked down at the obvious erection that was still there, "Sorry big guy, it's just me and you tonight."


	13. Chapter 13: Testing Limits

House walked into the Hospital the next morning and made his way to Cuddy's office. He opened the door to see her sitting behind the desk she had in med school and smiled. "I had this dream last night, that you were in... we were in your office and you were screaming my name." House gave her a look of confusion, "What do you think it could mean?"

Cuddy looked up at him with smile, "It could mean that I finally put you in your place for barging into my office without knocking."

House acted like he was thinking about it, "I don't know, because when I woke up I was..."

"House!" Cuddy said with red cheeks.

House smiled, "Yeah, it sounded kind of like that."

Cuddy shook her head, "I thought you wanted to keep our work lives and private lives separate."

House smiled, "I was just talking about a dream, now if I was talking about our D A T E last night then I would be crossing that line, but I'm not." House watched as Cuddy rolled her eyes, "I was just letting you know that you were quite literally the girl of my dreams last night, you really need to learn how to take a complement." House said as he looked over her shoulder at the paper work.

Cuddy smiled, House had the strangest way of making something dirty into a complement. "Is that what you came in here for?" Cuddy asked watching him.

"Nope, well not entirely. I need a new case." He said as he sat down in one of the chairs in her office. "So, you have anything interesting for me?"

"Here," Cuddy said as she handed him a file and waited for him to read it.

House grabbed the file and smiled, "I'll get on it." He said and got up.

Cuddy looked at him with irritation. "You didn't even read it."

House shrugged, "You're the boss, it's not like I can say no."

Cuddy blinked several time, "It's never stopped you before."

House smiled, "Let's just say I had a good weekend, and am in a good mood." House said and started whistling as he left her office.

Cuddy smiled, she hadn't see House this happy in a long time.

Wilson was sitting in House's chair when he opened the door to his office. Wilson looked at the clock and noticed it was eight thirty. "You're early, that means things either went very well or very bad." Wilson said watching House as he walked past him to fix some coffee.

House made the coffee and ignored Wilson.

Wilson knew he was doing this to torture him, "Come on, you have to tell me what happened."

House shrugged waiting for the coffee to get done brewing.

"I could always just ask Cuddy." Wilson said watching House.

House sighed in defeat. "It went... well, at least a lot better than I thought it would."

Wilson looked at House with a smile, "So, did you... you know?"

House cocked an eyebrow at Wilson, "What kind of guy to you think I am, I'm not one to kiss and tell." House said as if he was wounded my Wilson's assumption.

Wilson gave House an irritated look, "No, you're one to brag and then draw diagrams."

House laughed a true long laugh, "No, we made out. It was nice." House said smiling at the memory of it.

Wilson smirked, "So she turned you down."

House gave Wilson and look of fake anger, "No, she didn't turn me down," he made his coffee and then started walking into his office, "I turned her down." He said were Wilson could barely hear him.

Wilson came running into the office. "Did you just say that you turned her down." Wilson asked in disbelief.

House took a sip of his coffee, "Why is that so hard to believe?"

Wilson looked at him, "Because this is you." Wilson thought about it for a second, "Were you having problems with little Greg?" He asked awkwardly

House looked at him like he was crazy, "No, me and Mount Gregory are fine." House just shook his head at Wilson.

"Hey, when a man gets to a certain age, they sometimes have problems getting..."

House cut him off, "I'm a doctor too you know, and I promise that wasn't the reason, so can you just leave him out of it."

Wilson put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Well was it just a kiss or what?" Wilson asked wanting to know more.

House looked at Wilson with irritation, "You're not going to leave me alone until I tell you, are you?"

Wilson just shrugged with a smile in place.

House thought about it, "Fine there was some groping, a lot of kissing, no clothes came off, but my shirt did get unbuttoned, and oh yeah she was straddling my lap the whole time. There, now you have something to think about on those lonely nights." House said with a smirk.

Wilson grimaced, "Sorry, you just don't do it for me House."

House smiled obviously pleased with himself.

Wilson thought about what House had said. "It sounds like it got heated, so why did you turn her down."

House looked at Wilson, "We work together, I thought it'd be better if we knew where this was going before we did anything." House sighed, "Now you have three minutes to make fun of me for being a total chick about this and then I never want to hear about it again."

Wilson's face was serious, "I think you made the right move."

House looked at him as if he were nuts, "I had a woman I've been wanting for years now grinding on my lap and undressing me, and you think I made the right move by putting a hold on things? You know what the chance are that she's ever going to do that again?"

Wilson thought about it, "Actually this might work in your advantage." He said with a smile.

House was interested, "How?" He asked watching Wilson.

"There is nothing Cuddy likes more than a challenge," Wilson smiled bigger, "and now you have become a challenge to her."

House shook his head, "Cuddy has a smoking hot bod, believe me she could get it anywhere."

Wilson was still smiling, "Except from you. You better watch out House she's going to be chasing you now."

House thought about it, then shook his head, "I don't think so."

Wilson laughed, "Believe what you want House, but she wouldn't have asked you out if she wasn't into you." Wilson narrowed his eyes on House as he started to leave, "You're smarter than I thought."

House contemplated what Wilson had said for a few minutes and then opened the file he had gotten from Cuddy. It was a 28 year old woman, with a list of symptom and he started writing everything down on the white board. By nine thirty he had already read the file completely through twice and done a DDX and the women was on medication for what was already confirmed brain cancer."

Kutner was the first to get in the DDX room and was shocked to see House doing his own mail.

"Well finally, I've been wondering when you people got here." House asked watching Kutner.

Kutner looked at House as if he was a ghost. "I've never see you here earlier than ten, unless you're still asleep in your office." He looked around, "You didn't stay here the whole weekend did you?"

House rolled his eyes, "No, but I have already diagnosed our patient so you can go down to her room and make sure she isn't having any bad reactions to the medicine."

House ended up sending Thirteen to do clinic hours and Taulb to finish up the paper work of the last couple of patients. Foreman sat waiting to be assigned some meaningless task. House watched him as he had his arms crossed over his chest. "And as for you, you are me today, I'm going to have to be out of the office, so if anything comes up like Kutner killing our patient you are in charge." House said as he was finally done with the mountain of mail.

Foreman looked at him with apprehension, "Really? So you come in early to tell us that you aren't going to be here for the day?"

House's eyebrows raised, "Actually, you are the only one here, so I'm just telling you."

Foreman cocked an eyebrow clearly not impressed, "And you're leaving me in charge? Do you have another crazed maniac coming here to shoot you, because I've learned that with you there is always a catch." Foreman said with condescension.

House smiled, "You never know," he said and stood up with his cane making his way for the door.

Foreman stood up and followed him to the door, "And where are you going to be?" He asked looking confused.

"I've got some test to do, so like I said, I'll see you tomorrow." House said and limped out the door and into Wilson's office.

Wilson was looking at something on his computer screen with a distasteful face when House walked into his office. "I told you that you wouldn't be into bondage." House said with a smile.

Wilson looked up at House and rolled his eyes, "I'm not looking at porn House. I was looking up what kind of test they can do to test pain, and it doesn't sound all that fun, especially the electrocution." Wilson said looking at the page again.

"Is little Jimmy all scared," House mocked in a childlike voice.

Wilson looked at House with annoyance, "No, I just don't enjoy the idea of having my hand frozen off or getting shocked."

House smiled and was about to say something when there was a knock on Wilson's door. House looked at Wilson with curiosity.

Wilson just shrugged, "Come in," Wilson said.

Cuddy walked into the room to and smiled at Wilson, then looked at House. "It's time for your pain test."

House eyed Cuddy, "How did you know I was in here?"

"Where else would you be?" She asked with a smile.

House looked at Wilson who was doing a poor job of hiding a smile. House looked back at Cuddy, "What room are we doing this in?" He asked.

"Room 179" She said as she handed him some papers.

House looked at her with a troubled face, "That's a sound proof room."

"Yes, it is." She saw the worry in his face, "It's a pain test House, I thought you might like some privacy."

"And what if this guy giving the pain test is some sick twisted bastard?" House said not liking the idea of being in the sound proof room.

Cuddy looked at House with amusement, "Well then I guess you two can trade stories." She said with a smile and then noticed that he still looked worried, "House the guy is 76, I'm pretty sure you could take him if you had to."

House looked at Cuddy with narrowed eyes, "I'm not scared, I just don't like the idea of it." He said and walked out of the room.

Wilson looked at Cuddy with a worried look, "Is it me or did House just look afraid?"

Cuddy turned toward Wilson and chewed on her bottom lip, "I thought he would like the privacy."

House looked at there room number above the door and stopped outside of it and tried to calm his nerves. He had been in several sound proof rooms in his life and most of the time they didn't end well for him. House knew that this was nothing like the other times, but he still didn't like it, but he made his way in anyway.

When he came finally came back out he was exhausted it was already past three and Cuddy was waiting outside with Wilson. House slowly limped out and leaned against a wall.

Wilson and Cuddy exchanged worried glances, "House you were suppose to be out hours ago, what happened?" Wilson said taking in House's haggard form.

"That damn quack doesn't know what he's doing, he kept having to redo tests and recalibrate the machines." House said with his head leaned back looking at the ceiling.

Wilson looked into the room with a worried face.

"Go on in, it's a real ball." House said watching the apprehension on Wilson's face.

"Wish me luck," Wilson said and stepped into the room closing the door behind him.

House nodded and reached in his pockets pulling out his pills and throwing three of them in his mouth chewing on them.

Cuddy watched him with a empathetic look, "House are you okay?" She asked.

"I'll be fine," He stated waiting for the pills to kick in.

"You should eat something. We can go down to the cafeteria and get something." Cuddy said watching his hand rub his thigh through his jeans as he was continually swallowing.

House shook his head, "No," He groaned, "I'm already trying not to throw up."

"I'm going to get you something for the nausea," Cuddy stated watching him closely.

House was sweating and suddenly he was sliding down the wall. Cuddy tried to stop him from going all the way down, but when she grabbed a hold of him he just continued to go down. "I needed to get off the leg." He stated with closed eyes, "I'll be fine."

Cuddy quickly went to the pharmacy and got something for his stomach. When she returned he was rubbing thigh which was laid out in front of him and he put out a open hand that was shaky. Cuddy quickly gave him the pills and he swallowed them.

House closed his eyes and tried to gain control over his breathing. He could hear people walking in the hall and he didn't want them to see him like this. As soon as he was in control of his breathing he grabbed his cane and slowly pushed himself up. He looked down the hall and back at Cuddy, "You mind if I go and sit in your office until the vicodin kicks in."

Cuddy shook her head, "No, that will be fine." She said and grabbed his left arm and helped him walk the short distance, which now seemed like a marathon.

House pushed her hands off of him when they were in the clinic, he straightened his back and made a couple of snide comments about the nurses. He walked like he usually did and then marched into Cuddy's office, "She caught me peeking in the woman's restroom, I hope I don't get a spanking." He said and as soon as he was in the office he fell into the couch, gritting his teeth.

"What the hell was that? Are you screwing with me House?" Cuddy asked looking around finding him laying on the couch with both hands wrapped around his thigh, grinding his teeth. Cuddy walked up and looked down at him.

House could feel her eyes on him and looked up. "I couldn't let them see me like this, hell until a couple of day I did the same thing in front of you." House lurched forward almost hugging his thigh. "If you want to save this couch, you might want to get me a trash can."

Cuddy quickly went and brought him a trash can and then decided it would be best if she closed all of her blinds. House hadn't thrown up but he looked like he still might any moment. Cuddy grabbed a cool wet rag and wiped his face with it. She saw the silent thanks and the awkwardness in his eyes, but she continued.

House tried to relax laying across the couch and letting his head rest on the arm rest.

"You feeling any better?" Cuddy asked.

House moved his right leg slightly, "It's getting better," He said staring at the ceiling.

Cuddy walked over to him and started stroking his hair back.

House gave her a slight smile and closed his eyes concentrating on the feel of her fingers running across his scalp and through his hair. Slowly Cuddy could see he was relaxing, "Why are you being so nice to me?" He mumbled in a tired voice.

Cuddy thought it was one of the saddest questions she had ever heard. She was trying to decided what to say when she heard him snore. She smiled sadly at him and gave him a kiss on his forehead. Then started finishing her paperwork silently.


	14. Chapter 14: Past is Key to Unheard Pain

About an hour later Wilson knocked on the door. Cuddy looked up at House to see if it had woken him, but he was still snoring away now curled up on his left side. She got out of her chair and made her way to the door quietly.

Wilson gave her a curious look when she opened the door extra softly. "Rachel here?" He asked.

Cuddy smiled, "No," she said and opened the door wider so he could see House sleeping on the couch.

Wilson smiled, "At least he's not hiding out on my couch." Wilson sat down in one of the chairs she had sitting right outside her office. "I don't see why it took so long for the guy to do House's test, I was in and out in just a little over and hour. It was exhausting and uncomfortable in just that amount of time, I can't imagine how he must have felt being in there for over five hours." Wilson said looking at Cuddy.

She sat down on the assistants desk across from Wilson, the assistant had left at four. "I was afraid he was going to have a spasm in the hall." Cuddy said and let out a deep sigh.

Wilson looked back at the office door that was now closed, "It got bad, I'm guessing." He said and then looked back at Cuddy with worry.

"He was sweating and kept thinking he was going to vomit. He dropped down to the floor just a minute or two after you left." Cuddy shook her head and then looked at Wilson, "I got to see him put on a performance on our way here. As soon as we got close enough to the clinic he wouldn't let me help him and he acted like his usual self, then as soon as my door had closed he was on the couch, trying not to make a sound while practically shaking from the pain."

Wilson stood up and hugged Cuddy, "I'm sorry, I know how it feels. I've been seeing him do that for years now." He said softly. Then he pulled back and smiled at her, "He's going to be okay. House is too stubborn not to be, and if you ever need anyone to talk to I'm always here, you know that right?"

Cuddy smiled at him, "Yes, I know. Thank you so much for being there for him all of these years. If I had known..." Cuddy's sentence faded off as she looked at him with guilt ridden eyes.

"Hey, he didn't want you to know," Wilson said with a soft smile. "You're doing great with him by the way. It's hard to be there for someone who hates needing someone, I know all to well, but you're doing great." Wilson said knowing Cuddy needed to hear it.

Cuddy pulled Wilson into another hug, "Thank you so much, you don't know how much I needed to hear that. I keep getting afraid I'm going to do something wrong."

Wilson smiled and sat back down, "Even if you do, House is surprisingly a pretty forgiving person. He forgave Stacy, hell he even forgave me for asking him to risk his life." Wilson shook his head, "Before I had always wondered how much our friendship meant to him, not anymore. My own family wouldn't have done what he did, no one in their right mind would have, but House... like I said once you're in, your in. You can't just be friends, suddenly you're family." Wilson said with a laugh.

Cuddy smiled thinking about House and Wilson's relationship. "So did he tell you about how our date ended?" Cuddy asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Wilson looked up at Cuddy, "Yes, but don't be mad, he tells me everything, it's like a compulsion for him." He explained

Cuddy pouted, "I never expected him to put a hold on things, I just don't know how to take it."

Wilson's face was suddenly serious, "This is a good thing Cuddy, he's finally trying to protect himself. Don't hold that against him, not after what he's been through."

Cuddy looked up at him with a half smile, "I was just hoping that that's the only reason. I've never had a guy say no before. Maybe he doesn't find me that attractive anymore." Cuddy said looking down.

Wilson laughed, "Now that is the funniest thing I've heard in a while." Cuddy looked at him with confusion. "House not finding you attractive, do you know how many of his fantasies I've had to listen to about you. The man's obsessed with you Cuddy, you don't even want to know what I had to go through when you and me went out a couple of times." Wilson smiled at Cuddy, "I promise you, he's into you."

Cuddy smiled, "Obsessed, is that a good thing?"

Wilson shrugged, "That's the only way House knows how to do things, either he's all in, or not at all."

"Did Dr. Roth say when he would have the results?" Cuddy asked just now realizing she hadn't asked.

Wilson rubbed his face with his hands, "He said that he was going to talk to you about the results tomorrow. He seemed interested in his findings." He said looking tired.

"Hopefully he'll be able to help us." Cuddy said rubbing her neck.

Wilson smiled, "Us?" He said teasingly.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes, "I mean all of us, House, you and me." She said with blushed cheeks.

Wilson chuckled, "You mean to say we haven't scared you away yet?"

Cuddy smiled at the joke, "I thought I had him all figured out, and then I find out that I didn't really know him at all." She said looking at Wilson with a dumbfounded expression.

"I first met him when he bailed me out of jail." Wilson laughed, "I should have known that he was crazy then, who bails someone out of jail that they don't even know?"

Cuddy smiled and shook her head at Wilson, "What did you do to be in jail?"

"I was at my first Oncology convention and had just received divorce papers from my first wife, and I just lost it and threw a liqueur bottle threw a mirror. House said, that at out of everyone at the convention I was the only one that wasn't boring." Wilson thought about it and the road trip they had when House kept trying to talk to him.

"I first met him at the bookstore at med school. He took one look at me and he had my number, he just knew so much about me. He said I was ambitious, knew how to party, and had something to prove and he was right. Then we... well I'm sure you know the rest of the story." Cuddy said looking at Wilson.

Wilson looked at her with a confused look. "No, I didn't even know you went to the same college."

Cuddy looked at him skeptically, "He didn't tell you about us in med school?"

Wilson shook his head then they both heard movement from in her office and got up to go look. Before Cuddy opened the door, Wilson stopped her, "You know that this doesn't mean you get out of telling me the story."

Cuddy smiled and opened the door. House was sitting behind her desk looking through her drawer and stopped looking up at them as they both entered with smiles. House's looked at them suspiciously, "You were talking about me weren't you?"

Cuddy walked over and looked down at him, "Why are you going through my desk?" She asked as she started shutting the drawers.

House looked up at her, "I asked first, were you two out there talking about me?" He deflected.

Wilson decided to save Cuddy, "She was just asking me about how the pain test went, and when Dr. Roth would have the results."

House looked over to Wilson and notice how his fingers were drumming on his leg. "I doubt it." He sniped and looked back at Cuddy, "I was looking for something to eat. Don't you keep granola bars, or something in one of these." House said as he started to open another drawer.

"Come on, lets go to your place and I'll get some Chinese." Wilson said still standing by the door.

House narrowed his eyes on his friend, "You're offering to buy me Chinese, that must have been some conversation you two had out there."

"Either that or I knew if I didn't offer you would just order it anyway and use my credit card number. I think you're getting more paranoid than usual House." Wilson said confidently.

House stood up to find that Cuddy was in his way he looked down and noticed she was holding both of the armrest, literally trapping him.

"Give it to me House." She said looking up at him with narrowed eyes.

House smirked looking down into her eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Cuddy smirked back, "Hand it over."

House smiled, "Well, it's not detachable, so I think I'll just hang on to it for now."

Cuddy kept her eyes on his, "That's not what I'm talking about and you know it, I'm talking about my master key to the Hospital."

House faked a look of innocence, "I don't know what you're talking about Cuddy, maybe you're the one that's getting paranoid."

Cuddy smiled back, "Fine play it that way House." She said and then started digging into his pockets.

House rolled his eyes and then suddenly he looked up at the ceiling with a look of surprise, "That is not your key." He said and looked back down at her.

"Oops, sorry." She said and started running her hands up and down his torso over his shirt. She stopped when she felt something hard on his stomach. She knew she had found it by the look of defeat on Houses face. She put her hand under the shirt and felt the key and tape holding it in place.

House looked down at the smirk on Cuddy's face and knew what she was about to do, "Wait," He said desperately, and then a loud rip and a painful whimper left House's lips.

Cuddy pulled up the key that was now in her hand and looked at the tape. "Wow House, I didn't know you were that hairy on your stomach, and I'm glad you found the Duct tape I've been looking for it."

House was bent over rubbing his stomach with his left hand while using the right hand to keep himself up right. "You are the devil, you know that right?" He said as he tightly grasped his cane and started retreating towards Wilson who had a grimace on his face do to the ripping sound.

"So, were you two plotting against me earlier?" House asked and popped a piece of the pepper steak in his mouth with the chopsticks.

Wilson rolled his eyes and looked at House with a tired expression, "How many times do I have to tell you we were just talking about the pain test."

House shrugged, "Speaking of the pain test how long did yours take?" House asked as he stole a piece of Wilson's honey walnut shrimp.

"A little over an hour." Wilson said and tried to steal one of Houses pot stickers, but was beaten by House. "I don't see why yours took so long."

House thought about it for a minute, "Maybe Cuddy asked him to take forever just to torture me because of the run in with Andrew Wellington."

"The donor? When did you see him?" Wilson asked with curiosity.

"He was at the place Cuddy took me to on our date." House said with irritation.

Wilson sighed, "What did you say House?"

House smiled, "Nothing that wasn't true, I just commented on how I find it interesting that a college drop out was running a multimillion dollar company."

Wilson rubbed his eyes with his hand, "And why did you think that a man who's donated millions of dollars to the Hospital deserved to be reminded of that fact?" He asked in a disappointed tone.

"Hey he's the one who walked over to our table and told Cuddy he didn't know she was doing charity today when he saw me." House said defensively.

Wilson's jaw dropped, "Andrew Wellington actually said that?"

"No he actually said, "Oh Lisa, I didn't realize you were doing charity today." House said mocking Andrew voice.

Wilson could see the uncertainty in House's eyes, "What did Cuddy say?"

House looked back at his food, "She didn't say anything." He said stabbing a piece of beef and then eating it.

Wilson noticed that House wouldn't look him in the eyes, and knew there must be more to the story. "So, then what happened."

House took some more bites of food before answering. "Then I reminded him of how he got where he was, and he criticized my patient care, and then I told him some of my statistic for saving my patients, and then... then he took my cane." House said still staring at his food, "He said that he wondered what it must be like to be so dependent on something, and then... he brought up my vicodin, as if I was faking the pain." House took a long sip of his scotch and stared at the glass.

Wilson couldn't believe his ears. "Where was Cuddy during all of this?" He asked slowly.

House looked at Wilson, "She sat there staring at her food mostly."

"Mostly?" Wilson questioned.

"Once I caught her looking at the silverware." House said taking another sip of scotch.

"She didn't say anything?" Wilson asked with aggravation.

"Well once during my rant about Andrew she said my name in that 'House shut up tone,' and then when I snatched my cane from Andrew and asked him if he thought I wasn't in pain she stepped in and told Andrew what a pleasure it had been to see him, but that we had plans and said she'd see him at the next benefit." House said and took another couple of bites of food.

Wilson couldn't believe that Cuddy had just sat there and let someone talk that way about House. He was definitely going to have a talk with her about it later. "House, you know she doesn't see you as a charity case right?" He asked watching his friend.

House shrugged, and continued eating.

Wilson knew House well enough to leave that topic alone, if he pushed it all he would do is make House mad. "He must have been scared of you to steal your cane, only a coward would do something like that." Wilson said and took another bite of his food.

House smiled, "How is it that a guy like him is afraid of a cripple like me?"

Wilson laughed, "Probably because he knows that you aren't going to hold yourself back just because he has money, and you can be pretty intimidating House."

House smirked at Wilson, "Really?"

Wilson looked at House, "Your six five with no body fat arms the size of most peoples legs, and you have a look about you that says I'll fuck you up. I wouldn't want to get into a fight with you."

House laughed, "Now that would be funny to watch."

Wilson just laughed and kept eating. A couple of minutes passed in silence and he decided to ask House something that had bothered him, "So why did the sound proof room freak you out?"

House looked over at Wilson and then back at the TV which was had a commercial on, "I just don't like the idea of being in a room that you can't be heard out of." He said and then picked up his cane and started playing with it, "Haven't you ever thought about what it would be like to be stuck in a place like that and be screaming in pain knowing that no one could hear you?"

Wilson's face grew worried, "No I haven't, have you ever been in that situation?" Wilson asked now thinking about how horrible it would be.

House started flipping the channels and stopped at when he saw a Family Guy episode.

Wilson could tell House was ignoring him. "House, have you ever been in that kind of situation."

House kept his eyes on the TV, "Hey, I'm trying to watch something, don't you know it's rude to talk when someone is watching a show?"

Wilson sat back and waited for the next commercial. When it finally took a commercial break Wilson grabbed the remote and muted the TV. "House, what happened?" He asked now really worried about what might have happened to House.

House looked him straight in the eyes, "I didn't say anything happened, and I would have thought that by me ignoring you, you would have been smart enough to get the hint, but let me make myself clear. I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Wilson could tell that House was dead serious and knew that he would have to leave it alone for the moment. "Alright, but if you ever want to talk about it, I'm right here." Wilson said and House glared at him. Wilson looked away and back to the TV, "Hey your shows back on," he said and unmuted the TV.


	15. Chapter 15: Results in Fights

Dr. Roth was waiting outside Cuddy's office when she got there the next morning.

"Hello Dr. Roth," Cuddy said unlocking her door. "I hope that you found something out in the five hours you had Dr. House." She said now walking into her office and sitting behind her desk.

Dr. Roth closed the door behind him and sat down in one of the chairs across from Cuddy. "How much do you know about Dr. House?" He asked seriously.

Cuddy was a little thrown by the question, but recovered quickly, "Why are you asking? Listen I didn't ask you to come here to look into Dr. House's life, I just want to know what your results are and what we can do to help manage his pain." She said taking control of the conversation.

Dr. Roth looked slightly disappointed. "I only asked, because my finding where rather unusual," He said and watched as Cuddy just stared at him still not answering his initial question. "He suffers from Extreme Tolerance to pain, which is rare."

Cuddy thought about this, "I'm not sure I understand. You're saying he suffers from it, but it sounds like the only unusual findings is that he pain threshold is higher than most. Considering his leg pain wouldn't it be normal for him to have developed a better tolerance of pain?" Cuddy asked so far not impressed by Dr. Roth's findings.

Dr. Roth hoped he could explain this so that Cuddy would understand. "Yes, he would have a slightly higher tolerance to pain over the years because of the leg, but not anywhere in the area I'm talking about." Dr. Roth sighed, "A 10 on the pain scale means that the pain is so severe that they can't handle it for more than just a couple of minutes. On a person with a moderately high tolerance they would register an 9 for a normal persons 10; someone with a high tolerance to pain would register an 8 to the normal persons 10. Anyone that registers a 7 or less to the normal persons 10 is considered to have an Extreme Tolerance to pain."

Cuddy took a minute to think about this, "So he said his pain was at a 7 to what a normal person would say was a ten."

Roth's face became seriously grim, "No, he registered a 4. I've been administering pain test for fifty years now, and I've only come across two others who had that kind of pain threshold." Dr. Roth gave Cuddy a moment process what he was saying before continuing. "There have only been 56 cases of pain threshold anywhere in the range of Dr. House's, and out of those the most common reason was severe child abuse. I'm not talking about being spanked to hard I'm talking about physically torturing a child. The others were Military personal who were POW and had been tortured for years by the people who captured them."

Cuddy felt sick, "I.. I.. don't really know a lot about his past, he's pretty private." She finally said looking at Dr. Roth with a stunned expression.

"Considering his tolerance it's possible he's experienced both, but if I had to guess I would say he was tortured as a child. He had a hard time looking me in the eyes to even tell me what level of pain he was in which indicates shame, and he was quiet through the entire time of testing. Conditioning some one to take extreme amounts of pain silently isn't easy and is pretty much impossible to do in an adult, voicing pain is a natural instinct a person is born with. Has he ever spoken about his childhood to you?" Dr. Roth asked.

Cuddy tried to push away the images of House as a child be tortured. Her stomach was in knots and she looked down to see that her hands were shaking. "He said he hated his father, refused to go his funeral." Cuddy looked back up at Dr. Roth, "Are there any other symptoms associated with adults that were tortured as children?" She asked weakly.

Dr. Roth could see she was having a hard time with his results, "Yes, like I said before shame of pain, suffering silently, isolation, accepting abusive relationships, substance abuse, difficulty trusting others, insomnia, suicidal thoughts and attempts, physically pushing themselves to extremes, eating disorders, low self worth, defiance of authority figures, paranoia, self mutation, unable to accept failures, the list is basically endless but those are some of the most common."

As Dr. Roth went through the list Cuddy mentally checked them off as things she had noticed in House except for the suicidal thoughts and attempts but she wasn't completely sure that he hadn't tried or thought about it. "What can we do?" She asked looking at him hoping he could help.

Dr. Roth frowned, "There isn't some special pill that makes something like that go away, and to be honest someone doesn't have things like that happen to them with out having a lot of emotional damage as well, Dr. House is the most functioning person I've met with the condition. Most people are in mental institutions. My first recommendation would be to get him off the leg and into a wheelchair. With the levels of pain he is experiencing he shouldn't be able to walk on it at all."

Cuddy shook her head, "No, there is no way anyone's going to be able to convince him to go to a wheelchair when he can still walk."

"Listen, the biggest problem with patients that suffer from this is that they are pushing their body's harder than their body's can handle. He might be able to psychologically handle the pain, but the physical effects are going to get him in the end. The heart can only pump the blood so fast due to the raise in blood pressure of a pain. He is seriously at risk of causing his body to shut down from the amount of pain he's putting it through." Dr. Roth could tell Cuddy was upset and took a deep breath, "The best thing he can do is to take it easy, and try not to push his body past it limits with pain. That means if he feels anything over a 2 for him then he needs to take it seriously."

Cuddy looked at him with wide eyes, "There isn't anything he can take that could help, at least a little."

Dr. Roth shrugged, "Nothing that isn't highly addictive or wouldn't cause even more problems for him later due to the amount he would have to take. Oxycodone would be the best pain medication I could recommend, but like I said before it's very addictive, but if it was monitored well enough he might be able to walk while taking it without over stressing his body." Dr. Roth watched Cuddy take this in, "I would really like to speak to Dr. House some more, the more data we have on the condition the better chance that we can figure something out."

Cuddy looked up at him, "I doubt he will agree to talk to you, but I will ask." She said and then looked at the file in Dr. Roth's hands.

Dr. Roth looked disappointed, "Here," he said as he handed her the file, "This has all of his test results, and information about his condition. If he decides he wants to talk to me, now or later just call me, my cell phone number is on my card. He really could help with our research." Dr. Roth said as he stood up.

"Thank you Dr. Roth for everything and I will try and convince him to call you, but like I said before I wouldn't hold my breath." Cuddy said as she stood up and shook his hand. She watched him walk out wondering how she was going to approach House about what she had learned.

It was 11:30 am in the morning and House was in the clinic. He was watching the clock hoping that the time would pass quickly when he noticed Cuddy speaking to a man in a army dress uniform.

Cuddy had her hands on her hips, "Mr. Young, I'm sorry but like I've tried to explain I can't release any medical records with out the official papers."

"That's Corporal Young of the United States Army and I didn't ask you I'm ordering you to release the files immediately." Said the man standing intimidatingly close to Cuddy.

House didn't like where this was going, being a military brat he knew how hot tempered they could be when civilians told them no.

"I don't care what your name is, if you don't have the official papers signed and documented then I'm not giving you the files, and by the way I don't take orders from you!" Cuddy said finally losing her cool with the overbearing soldier.

House grabbed his cane as soon as he saw Young raise his hand.

Young backhanded Cuddy across the face knocking her down, "You stupid little bitch. I go risk my life for this county everyday and you think you can speak to ME that way. I'll have the army..." Young's words were interrupted by the fist that seemed to come out of nowhere hitting him across the face. Young almost fell over from the force and looked up to see a pair of angry blue eyes daring him to move. Young backed up to get a complete picture of the man and discovered quickly that the man was at least twice his age and was crippled. Young started laughing, "Wow this place must be bad off if this is all you have for security, an old fucking cripple."

House was towering over the man with his shoulders back and his head up looking down at him, "That's First Lieutenant Gregory House of the United States Marine Corps to you, old fucking cripple is my code name." House said watching the man.

Young smiled up at House, "When was that like fifty years ago? I kill people like you before lunch gimp, get the hell out of my way before you get yourself hurt."

House stared down at him, "Make me you little piece of shit." There was already a crowd starting to form around the two

Young punched House in the face but House didn't even sway, which apparently disappointed him as his smile turned into a scowl.

"My turn," said House and he punched Young in the gut, in which had Young doubled over. "Leave now, while you can still walk."

Young looked back up and kicked House in his right knee taking him down, then to his surprise House grabbed the coat of his uniform and pulled him down and the two started rolling and fist were flying. Two security guys were trying to figure out how exactly to get a hold of the men without getting hurt themselves when suddenly House had him pinned down on his stomach with one arm under and one arm above the guys neck, pulling so hard that the mans back was curled up in an unnatural way.

"Pricks like you are why I left the military, you think that everyone owes you there life because you decided to go play GI Joe. I should fucking kill you right here, you damn Hot-Shit." House said pulling the mans head slightly more back with a dark expression and barely controllable rage.

Cuddy pushed herself through and looked in horror at House. "House stop this, let him go."

House didn't seem to hear her as he put more pressure on the mans neck and then suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder he looked up to see Wilson.

"House, is this worth your medical license. Look at all these people, if you don't stop they will officially be witnesses." Wilson said earnestly.

House's eyes scanned the room and realized that there was a large crowd surrounding them. Some of the rage left his eyes and he looked down at the black short hair of the man who's neck he was currently holding. "No, he isn't fucking worth it." House said and then spit on the back of the mans head before letting him go and standing up with his cane that Wilson handed him. One of the security guards grabbed a hold of House's arm, and House pulled his arm out of his grasp and turned to him quickly, "Get your god damn hands off me son, before you lose it." His eyes were still burning and the man looked around not knowing what he should do.

"I saw the whole thing, this guy on the floor attacked Dr. House and Dr. Cuddy, it was clearly self defense." Nurse Beth said.

The security guard stepped away from House and grabbed the arm of Young who was still coughing as he tried to get his breath. House walked out of the crowd and into one of the exam rooms. Cuddy followed leaving Wilson to dismiss the crowd.

She barely caught the door he pushed violently to close and then she heard a loud bang and the sounds of metal falling to the ground. She looked in to see House pounding the large stainless steel medical cabinet with his fists his cane on the floor and the medical tool tray was on the floor along with it's contents. Cuddy swallowed as she closed the door, she had never seen House this angry, and part of her was afraid him. House turned and punched the exam table a couple of times and then just left his hands there holding himself up as he caught his breath.

Cuddy wanted to touch him, but wasn't sure how he would react as mad as he still was. "House, are you okay now?" She asked timidly.

House lowered his head and took a couple of deep breaths, he hadn't realized until now that she was even there. "I'll be fine." He said and let go of the exam table then snatched his cane off the floor. "Come on, have a seat." House said looking at Cuddy for the first time since the fight.

Cuddy looked around still trying to decide if she should get close to the man that had been only moments away from killing a soldier with his bare hands. She took a slight step forward and looked back up at him as if to see it that was enough.

House looked a her with a hurt expression, "Cuddy, I'm not going to hurt you." House used his cane to pull over the little metal stool and sat down on it hoping that it would make Cuddy feel better.

Cuddy walked in front of House and sat down on the exam table. "House, what just happened out there?" She asked softly.

"Shssss," House said and turned his seat so he was directly in front of her again and started to reach to her face.

Cuddy involuntary jerked back from his hands.

House grabbed her chin and made her face him. He eyes showed hurt and truth, "I maybe an asshole, but I will never physically hurt you Lisa, you understand that never." With that he let go of her chin.

Cuddy suddenly felt foolish for pulling away from him, "I'm sorry, it's just that, I've never seen anything quite like that before." She said looking at him with an apologetic look.

"Shssss," House said as his started to touch her face and examine where she was hit.

"What are you doing?" She asked feeling awkward as she watched him and noticed he hadn't shaved since the date.

"Shut it. I'm trying to give you an examination, if you would just be quiet." House said as his fingers carefully touched the red flesh.

Cuddy was surprised by how delicately he was touching her even though she could feel a slight shake of his fingers, she looked at him as he leaned in closer with a concerned expression.

"I can't stand a man who hits women," House stated feeling the spot, to make sure there weren't any fractures. "There's nothing I can do for it, but put on some ice and hope it doesn't bruise." He said in a disappointed tone. House stood up still looking at the spot, "Don't tell anyone I did this." He said seriously and before she could ask what he was talking about he softly kissed the spot.

As quickly as she realized what he was doing he turned away and opened the medical cabinet taking out a cold compress pad and moving it to get it cold. She was touched by his sentiments. "Here," He said handing it to her.

Cuddy put it on her cheek bone and winced slightly from the pain. House fixed her a small cup of water and pulled out one of his vicodin. "Take this." He said as he put the pill in her hand and after she put it in her mouth he gave her the water.

Cuddy gave him a weak smile, "If only you were always this good with your patients."

House smirked back, "You wouldn't have a problems with me kissing all of my patients?"

Cuddy laughed and then winced, "I don't know, it might bring up even more lawsuits."

House laughed and was about to say something when the door suddenly was opened.

Wilson stood there looking at the pair of them with a dumbfounded look, "What the hell just happened out there." He said closing the door behind him.

"He hit Lisa... I mean Cuddy." House said as he recovered from his mistake. "So I hit him, and then he hit me and I hit him again, and well you can see where this is going."

Wilson listened and then shook his head, "Do you know that there are now rumors going all around the Hospital about you being some sort of ex soldier?"

House dropped his head slightly and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, "That could be because I am a Marine." He said not looking Wilson in the eyes.

"What do you mean, by you are a Marine?" Wilson asked flabbergasted.

House looked to see Cuddy and Wilson's eyes on him, "I mean I was in the Marines for 8 years. I left the Marines, but it isn't like a club or a job, once you're a Marine, you're always a Marine in their eyes. Listen, it isn't a big deal or anything." House said now pacing with is cane.

"Wait you mean to tell me that you didn't think to tell me in the ten years of our friendship that you use to be a Marine?" Wilson watched House pace without saying anything. "So you've... you've..."

"I've what!" House now asked with anger.

Wilson swallowed the lump in his throat, "You've killed people?" He asked having difficulty with the idea.

"No, we had tea and discussed our feelings. Yes, you idiot I've killed people, that's what you do when you're a soldier." House could see Wilson's and Cuddy's judging eyes on him. "This is why I didn't tell you." He said and then let out a sigh, "It's not like I wanted to but you don't really have much of a choice when you're in the Marines."

Cuddy was still thinking about how long House was in, "How is it possible for you to be in the Marines for 8 years? You didn't have that big of a gap in your work history." She asked watching him pace as well.

"I was enlisted when I was 16, now can I go?" House asked looking at the door as if it was his long lost friend.

"That just doesn't make sense. There is no way that you could have been in your last year of Med School at 26 if you were in Marines for 8 years." Cuddy said still trying to work out what he was saying in her head.

House took a deep breath, "I graduated high school at 14 and started taking classes from West Point through the military bases I was on. I graduated a week before I turned 16 with a bachelors in Chemistry with Biology as a minor." He said looking at there surprised faces.

"You graduated from West Point in less than two years at the age of 16?" Wilson asked.

House rolled his eyes, "Aren't you the two that are always reminding me that I'm a genius? I tested out of a lot of the classes. Anyway then I was enlisted in the Marines, two months later I got my acceptance letter from John Hopkins. So that's where I went as soon as I was out."

Cuddy shook her head, "House you were just a kid. I didn't even think that they would let you enlist in the military until you were 18."

Wilson thought about it, "Why did you enlist if you were trying to get accepted into John Hopkins?"

House popped two vicodin in his mouth and swallowed them. "I never said that I enlisted, I said that I was enlisted. Back then if you were done with high school your parent's could enlist you. My father signed me up for a 8 year contract with the Marines, which is the longest contract you can get as a recruit. I didn't have a choice." He said looking at Wilson.

"Your father didn't talk to you about, or ask you if you wanted to be enlisted?" Cuddy said unable to believe that someone would do that to their kid.

"No! We didn't talk about it, that's not how things ran in my family. My father said it and it happened, end of story." House said starting to get agitated by the questions.

"But it was your life, it should have been your decision." Cuddy said with frustration.

"Well obviously my father didn't see it that way, did he!" House yelled at her, and then looked away ashamed he lost his cool. He closed his eyes and calmed himself. "I'm done with this conversation. I'm going to go and get something to eat anyone want to join me?" He looked around to see both of them watching him silently. "Fine," he said and with that he started making his way to the door.

Wilson stood in Houses way and House rolled his eyes. "House have you been checked over?" He asked with a worried look.

"I'm fine mommy, only a couple of bumps and bruises." House said in a childlike tone.

Wilson stood his ground, "I'm serious House, just let me check you out then I'll take you to Charlies Burgers, and if you don't complain I'll even get you a chocolate milkshake."

House smirked back at Wilson, "You'd get me a milkshake anyway."

Wilson smiled and shook his head, "Come on and strip already, I don't have all day."

House laughed, "Wow, I always knew you wanted me for my body."

Wilson grimaced, "No matter how many times you offer House, my answer is always the same." He said jokingly.

"Alright fine, but no girls allowed." House said in a childlike tone, subconsciously putting his hand on his thigh as though to shield her from seeing it even though he was still clothed.

Cuddy put her hands up in the air, "Great, I'm gone," she said walking over to Wilson. "Make sure he's actually okay," she said and Wilson nodded at her. Then she walked over to House, "Thanks House, but I'd appreciate it if you tried to not get an anymore fights today."

"But Mom, he started it." House said with a fake pout.

Cuddy smiled and made her way to the door stopping, "Oh I almost forgot, Wilson I need to talk to you about the next board meeting, so when you get back stop by my office okay?" She asked, Wilson gave her a curious look but nodded all the same. "Now to file charges and take care of damage control." She said to her self and walked out the door shutting it behind herself.

Wilson stood there waiting for House to start getting undressed so he could do a examination. "Alright House, she's gone." He said noticing House was still looking at the door she had just left out of.

House sighed and rolled his eyes as he got undressed. Wilson looked him over and discovered that he had broken one of his fingers and had some bruised ribs but other wise he just had some bruises.

"Really? A finger splint." House said as he saw Wilson grab one out of the medical cabinet and putting it on his finger.

Wilson gave House a annoyed glance and then started taping the splint on House, "Yes a finger splint, you broke you're finger, so I set it and am now splinting it, that's what doctors do."

House looked down at the work when Wilson was done. "This looks stupid." He complained as he got up.

Wilson ignored him and put back up the supplies he had gotten out and closed the doors. He took a minute looking at the doors and then looked back over to House, "You know anything about the dents in the medical cabinet?" Wilson ask suspiciously.

House shrugged, "No idea," he said casually then as if on cue his stomach growled. "Now how about that burger you promised." House said quickly getting dressed.


	16. Chapter 16: Friends Share

It was two before Wilson and House got back. House went to the ER to see if he could find any interesting cases, and Wilson made his way to Cuddy's office. Wilson knocked on the door and heard Cuddy say to come in. He notice her sigh in relief at seeing him and he walked over and sat down in the chair across from her desk. "So, what's going on with the board meeting?" He asked noticing that Cuddy had gotten up.

Cuddy walked over to the door and locked it. "I don't need to talk to you about the board meeting." She said now walking back and sitting behind the desk.

"Okay... I'm guessing this has something to do with House." Wilson said and noticed that Cuddy seemed off. "Listen I gave him a look over he's fine, he had a broken finger and some bruised ribs, but other than that it's just bruises."

Cuddy gave him a sad smile, "Here you should look at this." She said and handed him the file that Dr. Roth had given her this morning. "It's House's results from the pain test."

Wilson looked at the file but didn't open it, "There is something I wanted to talk to you about first concerning your date."

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow, "Okay, but this is important so make it quick."

"Fine, I heard that you and House ran into a donor at dinner." Wilson said watching her.

Cuddy sighed, "And?"

"What the hell were you thinking letting someone talk to him like he's crap right in front of you and not saying anything to stop it?" Wilson asked with aggravation.

"I did step in and stop it." Cuddy corrected him.

Wilson's eyes narrowed, "Not until after it had gone way to far."

Cuddy sighed, "Mr. Wellington is one of our best donors, I'm not going to risk losing millions of dollars for the Hospital because he was a little harsh to House, and it's not like House hasn't been harsh to people. Maybe he deserves a little of his own medicine."

Wilson looked at her with surprise, "So exactly how much is House worth to you?" Cuddy didn't answer. "Say a guy gives the Hospital ten million dollars, does that mean that they have the right to, I don't know, push House down a flight of stairs."

Cuddy looked at him as if he was crazy, "Of course not, I would never be okay with someone physically hurting him."

"But hurting his feelings is fine." Wilson responded back.

Cuddy looked down, "House is a big boy, I'm sure he can handle it. Like I said he's said a lot worse to other people."

Wilson looked at her with frustration, "And when House talks to someone that way you try and stop him if you're there, but because Mr. Wellington gives the Hospital money you decided that it was okay if he publicly humiliates House right?"

Cuddy frowned, "I didn't like what happened, but if what you are asking me is if I'm willing to risk loosing money that keeps this Hospital running for House's feeling, then the answer is no."

Wilson sighed, "Good to know, oh and by the way he thinks you do see him as a charity case, but of course that doesn't matter, I mean it's just how he feels right."

Cuddy looked back up at Wilson, "He can't be stupid enough to believe that."

Wilson looked her square in the eyes, "Not stupid enough, but insecure enough about relationships... yeah. House beat the crap out of a guy for slapping you, and you let some one tear him down and even use his disability against him without ever even saying a word to defend him. What's he suppose to think?"

Cuddy swallowed, "That I'm trying my best. What do you think is going to happen if people get wind that I'm dating House? They are going to question every break I've ever cut him, and if the board found out that I lost a donor because of my personal relationship to him, I'd probably be fired. Wilson I care about him and his feelings as a friend, but as his boss I can't let that change what I do." She sighed, "Please try and understand the position I'm in."

Wilson thought about what she said, "I'm sorry, I know this can't be easy, nothing ever is with House. Just try and remember that none of this is easy for him either, and maybe you should avoid going on dates with him where donors frequent."

Cuddy nodded, "I'll keep that in mind, and thanks for talking to me about it, the last thing I want to do is hurt him."

Wilson gave her a half smile, "To be honest I'm surprised you didn't just tell me to mind my own business."

Cuddy smiled, "I know that whatever is going on with House is your business and that's the reason I want you to read this file."

Wilson nodded and opened the file reading the first page, "This is impossible, his machines had to be wrong..."

Cuddy interrupted him, "Keep reading." She said solemnly.

Wilson kept reading, it took him 20 minutes before he put down the file and looked back up at Cuddy. "Have you talked to him about this yet?" Wilson asked.

Cuddy let out a sigh, "No, I don't know how to approach him about it." She said looking at Wilson, "Has he ever talked to you about his relationship with his father?"

Wilson thought about it and then he suddenly felt sick, "He tried, the day that I took him to the funeral, he kept trying to talk to me, but I thought he was just trying to get out of it so I kept cutting him off and ignoring him." Wilson ran his hands through his hair, "Tell me I didn't just force him to go to the funeral of a man that tortured and abused him for years."

Cuddy could see the guilt in Wilson's eyes, "I drugged him." She said and then thought about it, "It's possible that his condition is from his time in the Marines, but according to the research that's unlikely since he doesn't really show a lot of the traits of that kind of conditioning."

Wilson looked down at the file and back up at Cuddy, "There's no way that anyone's going to convince him to go to a wheelchair either," He said with certainty.

Cuddy nodded, "I know, I talked to Dr. Roth about it and he suggested that we try him on Oxycodone to get his pain levels down, so he won't be over stressing his body."

"But that's highly addictive, and seeing as he already has problems with the vicodin, do you really think that it's a good idea to get him on something even more powerful?" Wilson ask with worry.

"Actually, I've done some research and it turns out that House might not be an addict at all." She said looking Wilson in the eyes.

"He diagnosed himself as an addict." Wilson said with confusion.

Cuddy licked her lips, "Only after we put the idea in his head that he was. He takes a lot of vicodin, but considering the long term use of it, that's normal, and so is his body detoxing when being taken off. But addicts don't have the control to stop taking it even when there isn't pain. House did when he got shot, and he didn't start back up until there was pain again. Have you ever actually known him to take vicodin when he wasn't in pain?" She asked now watching him.

Wilson eyes got slightly watery as he thought about what Cuddy was saying. This meant that he had put House through life threatening pain twice. He tried not to think about how bad House had looked or the pain that had been in his eyes when he had come to Wilson for help. "No... I've never known him to take vicodin when he wasn't in pain. FUCK!" Wilson said loudly and slammed his fist on Cuddy's table, "All I paid attention to was the amount of pills he was taking, it never even occurred to me that his pain was worse than he was telling me. What the hell kind of friend am I? He could have died from detoxing!"

"Wilson you are a good friend, you were just doing what you thought was best for him, so was I. It's not like we knew or even had an idea that he had Extreme Tolerance to pain. To be honest until I talked to Dr. Roth I didn't even know that there was such a condition." She said knowing how bad he felt because she felt the same way. "I was hoping that you would help me talk to him about this, since he always seems to listen to you," Cuddy said watching for his reaction.

Wilson looked down, "I don't know why he does."

Cuddy smiled, "Because he trusts you Wilson, he knows that you are only looking out for his best interest."

Wilson looked back up at Cuddy, "He isn't going to like this, and if we do this we can't force him to talk about his past if he doesn't want too, that will only make things worse."

Cuddy nodded in agreement, "I know, so is that a yes?" She asked hopefully.

Wilson looked up at her and nodded, "Yes, I'll be there," he said. Wilson looked at Cuddy and remembered he had never gotten the story she had started last night out of her. "By the way, you never told me what happened in Med School." He stated hoping to get his mind off the task at hand.

Cuddy smiled, "Well we kept bumping into each other and he asked me on a couple of dates and we, well I guess they would call it hooking up now days." Cuddy said then her smiled faded a little, "and then I never heard out of him again, at least not until I hired him."

Wilson thought about the story, "Which med school was this?"

"John Hopkins, why?" Cuddy asked wondering why it mattered.

Wilson looked at her in awe, "Oh my god! You... were his first?" He said remembering once when he got House really drunk and he told him that his first time was with a dark haired woman with a perfect body at John Hopkins.

Cuddy looked at him as if he was crazy, "No... I wasn't his first he was..."

"Wait don't tell me," Wilson broke in, "he was 26."

Cuddy looked at him in a stunned silence.

"Oh my God! That's why he would never tell me the girls name! He said that his first time wasn't until he was 26 and it was at John Hopkins, He said he waited until he could find someone that had enough brains that he could actually hold a conversation with." Wilson said now amazed to have finally put it together.

Cuddy swallowed, "No, he has to be talking about someone else, I would know if I had been his first." She said sure that Wilson had it wrong.

Wilson smiled, "And how would you have known? You think he would have told you?"

Cuddy shook her head, "No, but I'm telling you it wasn't his first time." She thought about it more and was sure it couldn't have been his first time.

Wilson's smile grew, "Ohhh... so he was that good."

Cuddy's cheeks blushed, "It wasn't his first time. Now I really have some more work to do before I leave so I'll see you at his apartment tonight around eight?" She said ready to end the conversation.

Wilson laughed, "Yeah, I'll make sure we're both there."

Cuddy thought about this and smiled, "Good, I'll bring food, I know just the place to get it from."

Wilson smiled, "Hey using food is my trick." Wilson was about to leave when a sudden thought occurred to him, "I was just wondering if I should bring some shots of that neuro-muscular blocker, because with all this activity it might be one of those bad nights again, and I could go a head and get him a prescription filled of Oxycodone."

Cuddy could tell that Wilson wanted to make things right with House and try to insure that he wasn't in any more pain than he had to be in. "I think that would be a great idea, maybe tonight will go better than we think."


	17. Chapter 17: What's Plan B

It was five minutes till eight and Wilson was sitting with House on the couch. House had been rubbing his thigh more than usual and Wilson knew all to well that this was the beginning of one of the many bad nights that House had.

"Here," Wilson said and handed House a syringe.

House looked at it and then back at Wilson, "What's this?" he asked with uncertainty.

"It's some neuro-muscular blocker." Wilson said casually.

House looked back at the syringe, "And you just happened to have some in your pocket?" he asked looking back at Wilson with a cocked eyebrow.

Wilson shrugged, "I thought after you're fight today, you might have aggravated your leg, so I brought some."

House handed it back to Wilson, "It's not that bad yet."

Wilson looked at the syringe now in his hand, "So you know it's going to get that bad, and you want to be in pain and throwing up until it gets that bad?" Wilson said in a professional tone.

House looked back at the syringe, he knew the reasonable thing to do was to take it before he had to endure any more pain, but at the same time the idea of taking it made him feel weak. House rubbed his thigh wondering if there was even a slight chance that he wouldn't have spasms tonight, but that question got answered when he felt a sharp pain in his leg , "Fine, I'll take it." House said as he grabbed it and pulled down his pants to administered it in his thigh muscle then rubbed the tender tissue and pulled his pants back up.

Wilson looked at House, who now had a worried look on his face. "The leg feeling better?" he asked.

House stopped rubbing his leg, "If by better you mean having no feeling at all then yes. It's just weird to have your entire leg paralyzed."

Wilson gave him a half smile, "Well it's better than almost going into cardiac duress every ten minutes."

House looked around with a new found amazement. "Wow, I forgot what this feels like." He said smiling.

"What are you talking about House?" Wilson asked watching him.

"No pain, it's been forever since I've just not been in pain." House looked down at his leg, "There are times it doesn't hurt as much, but it's never pain free, I guess last time I was just too exhausted to notice."

Wilson looked at House and the bruises that had already started to darken along with the finger splint from the broken finger. He could help but be a little amazed that House didn't even seem to feel any pain from those injuries. There was a knock on the door and Wilson got up, "I've got it," he said.

House rolled his eyes, "Really? I thought I would just drag myself to the door," He said with sarcasm.

Wilson kept going and opened the door, "What a pleasant surprise Cuddy. Please do come in." Wilson said loudly.

Cuddy wondered if there was actually a way for Wilson to be any more obvious. "Hello Wilson," she said with a smile and walked in with the two large bags of food and file in her hand. She stopped and put the food on the coffee table which she noted still had the ring box on it and now also two bottled beers. "Hope you're hungry," she said to House with a smile.

House looked at her suspiciously.

"Mmmm, that smells great Cuddy. What did you bring?" Wilson said in an overly enthusiastic way as he got plates and silverware out.

"I got some food from a little place that House took me to." Cuddy said hoping that Wilson would just start acting normal.

"Would you like a beer, or... well all that's cold is beer." Wilson stated looking in the refrigerator.

"A beer sounds just fine," She said towards Wilson and then looked back at House to see his eyes watching her with even more suspicion.

Wilson came back in with the plates and silverware in one hand and the beer in the other. "Here you go," he said handing it to Cuddy and smiling at House.

"What the hell is going on?" House asked looking between the pair of them.

"House nothing is..." Cuddy stopped talking as she saw House start tearing the paper bags.

"Really, I'm just paranoid right? Then why so much food Cuddy, if you didn't already know that Wilson would be here?" House said watching her and then he grabbed for the red file, but Cuddy grabbed it first.

"I knew Wilson would be here because he mentioned that he might come over here tonight," Cuddy said and swallowed.

Houses eyes narrowed on her and then Wilson, "I bet he did. He also gave me a tranquilizer earlier tonight." he said staring at Wilson.

Wilson shifted uncomfortably under Houses stare. "What? I just wanted to help," he squeaked.

Houses eyes grew incredibly serious, "Is my mom okay?" he asked.

Wilson just stared back at him blankly.

House opened his cell phone and quickly called his mom. "Hey Mom, how's everything going?" He asked keeping his eyes on Cuddy and Wilson the whole time. "No, everything is fine here, I was just wondering how you were doing." House nodded while listening, "I'm doing good Mom, yeah we'll have to do that sometime." House looked away down for a second, "I love you too, and it was nice hearing you're voice too. I promise I won't cancel this time." House said now looking back at them. "I can't wait, bye Mom." House said and then hung up.

"You thought this had something to do with your mother?" Cuddy said surprised.

"Wilson starts caring more about my pain then the idea of me taking powerful drugs, and you stop over here with my favorite food. Neither of you have ever treated me this good before, so I figured that something happened to my mom, or you want two talk me into rehab, or... there is something seriously wrong with me." He said now staring at the file in Cuddy's hand.

Wilson looked away from House, and Cuddy swallowed hard, "You have ETP. It's a condition that..."

"I know what it is." House said looking up at her. "What did I register compared to a normal ten, a six or seven?" He asked with uncertainty.

"You registered a four," Wilson said looking back at him.

House rubbed his neck, "A four, well it could have always been worse." House said and grabbed one of the plates Wilson had put on the coffee table, then started filling the plate with the seafood pasta dish.

Cuddy and Wilson exchanged glances, "House, aren't you concerned about this?" Cuddy said watching him now take a huge bite of the pasta.

House shrugged as he chewed the food, "I just thought it was something a lot more serious, this is a relief really." House said now taking another big bite.

"How is being diagnosed with Extreme Tolerance to Pain a relief?" Wilson asked with confusion.

House was still chewing on the pasta and when he finally finished he swallowed and took a sip of his beer, "It means that my pain is real. It's not that psychological bullshit like you're always trying to convince me it is." he said with a smile, "So that means that I was right and you were what?" House said with his with a smile and his hand cupping his ear.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I was wrong. You happy now House." Wilson said with frustration because House wasn't taking this seriously.

House shrugged, "I wouldn't say happy, but I'm satisfied. It's always good to hear you say that you are wrong, it keeps you humble." House said and continued eating.

Wilson shook his head, "House this is a serious condition, and what's even more disturbing is how you developed a condition like this."

House looked up at him with warning eyes chewing another bite of pasta.

Cuddy put a hand on Wilson's shoulder, "Hey let's eat first before we talk anymore, the foods getting cold, not to mention if he keeps up like this there won't be anything left." Cuddy said with narrowed eyes on House although she was smiling.

House licked some sauce off of his lips, "You catch on quick." he said giving Cuddy a smirk and taking another bite that was too big.

Cuddy sat down by House in the middle of the couch and fixed her plate, while Wilson fixed a plate and then got his beer taking it over to the recliner. "There's plenty of room here, or I can move. I didn't mean to take your spot." Cuddy said looking over at Wilson.

Wilson smiled looking at them. "It's fine, I like the recliner better, and I'm sure he would rather have you sitting by him." he said in a lovey dovey voice.

House glared at him while eating but didn't say anything.

Cuddy smiled slightly and looked as House started fixing another plate. "House you're going to make yourself sick eating that fast."

House put another large scoop of food on his plate and stuck out his tongue at her in a childlike way.

Cuddy giggled and shook her head, "You and Rachel would get along perfectly, both of you are at the same maturity level."

House looked down at his food as he swirled his fork to make another large bite, "Sounds like she has potential." he said and stuffed the bite in his mouth.

Cuddy smiled and started eating, she knew that it was Houses way of a complement.

"Wow, this is really good, House you are going to have to show me where this place is." Wilson said now having tried the food.

House swallowed his bite of food, "Only if you promise not to take dates there, I don't want to be running into any of your ex's there." House said as he ate a normal bite of food.

Wilson shook his head, "This is coming from the man who was trying to get me married off again just a couple of days ago."

Cuddy looked at House and Wilson with an odd expression.

"I wasn't trying to get you married off. I was just offering you some rings so that you don't have to spend another wad of cash next time you get married, because we all know that there will be a next time, you're compulsive about marriage." House said now taking a sip of beer.

"House," Cuddy said in a disappointed tone.

House looked at her, "What? I'm not lying, he has serious issues with the idea of being a bachelor." he said defensively.

"I don't have problems with being a bachelor, I just am not so damaged that I've decided to shut every one out of my life." Wilson said with annoyance.

House swallowed his bite of food hard and looked at Wilson with cold eyes, "Yeah, well not everyone is blessed with my luck, but who knows some of your relationships might have lasted longer if you could have kept little jimmy in your pants. Of course Stacy would have been disappointed right?" House said and took another bite watching Wilson.

Wilson looked at him with complete surprise.

Cuddy looked between the two of them. "What are you talking about?"

"You knew?" Wilson asked finally finding his voice.

House shrugged and took a long pull off of his beer, "I always knew when she was stepping out, you really didn't think I'd find out about you?" House asked casually and ate another bite.

Cuddy looked at Wilson with shocked eyes, "You slept with Stacy."

Wilson swallowed not wanting to answer.

"Oh come on. Who didn't?" House said in a joking way while rolling his eyes.

"House, I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking." Wilson tried to explain.

House rolled his eyes in annoyance, "Oh will you shut up." he said without anger. "I'm not mad at you, she was the one that was suppose to be faithful to me not you, as much as you act like my girlfriend with all the nagging and cleaning, we are just friends, and I know how hard it can be to say no to Stacy when she want's some 'some'." House said and ate another bite of food.

Wilson looked at House stunned, he had always been sure if House found out that it would be the end of their friendship. There was no way he would have just blown it off if House slept with one of his wives. Wilson looked over to Cuddy as if to ask what he was suppose to say.

House looked up at Wilson and pulled Cuddy close to him with his arm wrapped around her waist, "Oh no you don't. She's mine for the moment, you can't touch her until she done with me." House said jokingly.

Wilson put his hands out in front of him in a surrendering motion.

Cuddy looked at him with a smile and a cocked eyebrow, "I'm yours?" She questioned.

"Until you tell me otherwise." He said with uncertainty looking into her eyes.

"So does that mean that you are mine?" she asked with an evil grin.

House pretended to think about it, "Does that mean I have to cancel my standing appointments with my hookers?"

"Yes!" Cuddy said swatting him on the arm and pulling away from him

"Hmm, well I guess compromises have to be made." House said keeping a tight hold on her until she finally stopped her efforts to get away.

They ate the rest of their meal mainly in silence and when they were done Cuddy gathered the plate and put them in House's sink and then they all laid back in their seats.

"Okay, no dates." Wilson said having truly enjoyed the meal.

House grinned, "I told you it was great."

"Martha said to tell you hi." Cuddy said with a sly smile.

House looked at her, "Oh please tell me you didn't tell her about our date." His voice was begging.

Cuddy gave him a look of fake innocence, that House used on her all the time, "Did you not want me to tell her?"

House rolled his eyes, "You have no idea how much she is going to bug me next time I see her." He said in an exhausted voice.

Cuddy smiled and then realized that they still need to talk to him more about the treatment, and if he felt comfortable, how he came to have the condition. "House, Dr. Roth had some suggestions for treatment, so that you wouldn't be pushing yourself beyond your body's limits."

House sighed, "Fine let me hear it," he said straightening himself.

"Well of course the leg is the main concern, right now you're pain levels are way higher than what is acceptable for your body." Cuddy said swallowing.

House could tell that she was beating around the bush, "Yeah I kind of got that when you told me I registered a four." Cuddy sighed. "Wilson, You feel like telling me what the good Doctor recommended?" House said in an annoyed tone.

Wilson looked him in the eyes, "House he thinks it would be best if you went to a wheelchair."

House's eyes narrowed, "That's not going to happen."

"House, you're pain on a good day registers at a three to four. This is the best treatment option and you know it." She said trying to reason with him.

"I'm not going to use a wheelchair when I can still walk, and quit acting like you expect me to act any different about this than I am. You both knew that I wasn't going to agree to this, so what did he recommend when you told him I wouldn't. What is option B." He asked with aggravation looking at Cuddy.

Wilson threw the bottle of oxycodone to House, who caught it and read the label. House remembered the last time he used oxycodone, it had been during the Tritter era and had ended when he downed several of the pills with a bottle of whiskey in a suicide attempt, but Houses nausea had set in, making him vomit up most of the medicine before it could be lethal. House looked up at Wilson, who had found him only to walk away shaking his head in a disappointed fashion.

Wilson could tell what House was thinking about, because Houses eyes spoke volumes. Wilson looked away ashamed of how he had treated House that night. "House, last time, when I came over and.."

"Shut Up!" House said full of conflicting emotions. House took some deep breaths and regained control over his emotions. "Why can't I just take more vicodin?" He asked looking at Wilson.

Wilson gave House a sympathetic look, "House if you take anymore vicodin, then you're going to destroy your liver. Oxycodone is more powerful and has less side effects."

"But it's highly addictive." House said looking back at the bottle. "I'm already addicted to vicodin and you think I wont get addicted to this?" House asked looking a both of them, with the pill bottle in a tight fist.

Cuddy put her hand on his arm, "House you're not an addict."

House laughed, "Believe me I'm addicted. I know the symptoms; shakes, vomiting, extreme pain, sweating, fevers, chills, feeling like you're going out of your fucking mind I had them all."

Cuddy could feel her eyes water up at the thought of what they had put him through. "House your body is addicted, just like anyone's would be that had to take the amount of medication you do just to function, but being a addict means that you are psychologically addicted as well. You haven't shown any of those symptoms." She said wishing the bruise on his left cheek would disappear.

House shook his head, "I think I need the pills, and last time I couldn't get any I stole oxycodone." He said shaking the bottle in his hand to emphasize his point.

Cuddy de-attached herself, knowing that House need to hear a doctor explain it in cold precise facts not friends. "You are not an addict. Addicts can't stop taking it even when the pain is gone. An addict wouldn't have the control to stop when the ketomine treatment worked. An addict would have never sacrificed their vice because of pride. If you were an addict House you would have bought it on the streets way before stealing the oxycodone. If you hadn't have stolen it, there is a very good chance you could have died from the shear pain. You think you need it, because you do. You're body is in pain that would kill a normal person. These are facts." She said with determination.

House couldn't take looking at her and instead looked at Wilson, "You know I'm an addict." He said with certainty.

Wilson stood up, "House dammit you're not a addict. I was only paying attention to the amount of vicodin you were taking, Cuddy is right. You don't show the psychologically symptoms, and honestly compared to the amount of pain you were in, you weren't taking enough."

House looked at Wilson with confusion, and then turned and looked at Cuddy. "How much does Dr. Roth think I should take." he asked looking back at the pills.

Cuddy smiled that House wasn't fighting them, even though she would be happier if he would say that he wasn't an addict. "How ever many it takes to get your pain level down to at least a two."

House looked back up at her with a shocked expression, "A two? You have any idea how much of these it's going to take to get my pain level down that low?"

Cuddy's face was worried, "It's either this or the wheelchair."

House sighed, "Alright so far I'm to be doped up all the time, any other special instructions from the idiot pain doctor."

Wilson looked over at House, "You are suppose to take it easy, not push your leg anymore than you have too. That means not running around the hospital when you have a team that can do that for you."

House smiled, "So you are saying I have a hall pass to be lazy? Maybe Dr. Roth isn't so bad after all." he said smiling bigger.

"Oh, if you liked that then you are going to love this. Since you insist on walking, Dr. Roth recommends that you not walk more than two miles a day, which sounds like a long distance, but it's actually a very short distance when you consider every step you take in a day. So your clinic duty is halved." Cuddy said watching House with a smile.

House looked as if he was a child who had just been told that he could have ice cream for dinner anytime he wanted. "Half the clinic duty, tell me you are serious, because if you're toying with me that would just be cruel."

Cuddy laughed, "I'm serious House."

House looked at her with the biggest smile she had ever seen on him, "I could kiss you right now."

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow and grinned, "Really?" she said seductively.

House looked at her lips with longing, "Really," he said leaning slightly toward her.

Wilson coughed loudly. Causing both of them to look in his direction.

House glared at him, "Oh, like I haven't had to watch you suck face a million times before."

Wilson pretended to be innocent, "I didn't say anything."

"If that was all of this little chat about my treatment, then you could go Wilson, and give mommy and daddy some quality time." he said with an obvious wink.

Wilson smiled, "Fine I'll go as soon as you answer one question for me."

"Out with it." House said impatiently

"How did you get ETP House?" Wilson said seriously.

House shrugged, "I'm sure I picked it up from one of the clinic patients."

"House it isn't a virus or disease, you can't just catch it." Wilson said with narrowed eyes.

"Duh, gosh you would think that you could tell when I'm joking by now." House said in a overly dramatic way while rolling his eyes. He looked at Wilson to see that he wasn't satisfied, "I told you I was in the Marines for eight years."

Wilson handed House the file that had been sitting on the coffee table while they ate. "I know that, but you don't show a lot of the symptoms of someone that developed the condition in the military, but you do show a lot of common symptoms of someone who developed the condition earlier." Wilson said with caring eyes.

House looked at the file and read the research about the different symptoms. "This doesn't prove anything, everyone reacts differently to being exposed to pain. Like I told you I was in the Marines." He said closing the file.

"And what did you do in the Marines that could have made you develop this condition?" Wilson asked still believing that House developed the condition as a child, but not wanting to push him too much.

House leaned back in the couch and looked up at the ceiling, "The last couple of years they used me to extract information from enemy groups in unconventional ways." He said. Neither Cuddy or Wilson said a word. "See they had this amazing idea, stick someone right in the middle of enemy ground and let them be captured and tortured all the while listening to the conversation and extracting information, and then come in an rescue them. I was already fluent in nine languages so, I was the natural choice. You would be surprised at how much they will say when they think you can't understand a word they are saying."

Wilson wasn't convinced that House was telling the truth, "Really? Then where are all the scars?"

House suddenly moved his head to look at Wilson with a cold serious expression. "Real torture isn't like what you see in the movies. People that actually want to extract information out of don't want you bleeding to death. The whole point is to push you until you finally snap and give them what they want, and then that's when you're in trouble because as soon as they have what they want you are worthless. Until then they push you to your limits then give you hope only to do it again, this can go on for months. Electrocution is popular, along with drowning, starving, dehydrating, sleep deprivation, exposure to extreme heat , cold or sound. Of course some culture are more creative, specialty tools that go in not so nice places that create a lot of pain with out actually putting the persons life at risk. Isolation can break a lot of people too. Some places use pressure points other use sensitive area on your body but they always are used in the same way to maximize pain with the least amount of effort or long term harm. North Korea was the best I'd ever seen, and by best I mean they got the closest to breaking me." Houses eyes were still on Wilson.

"W.. wh.. why would you agree to be used that way?" Cuddy said with looking at him horrified eyes.

House looked at Cuddy, "The first time I didn't. I thought I was going to be finding a missing unit, and suddenly I was surrounded, I took out as many of them as I could but eventually they captured me. It wasn't till a unit rescued me that I found out that they had planned it."

Wilson looked at House with confusion, "But after that you agreed to do it?"

"Yes." House said with aggravation. "It wasn't a hard decision after doing the math. Risk one man's life or a whole units."

"Hey I'm not trying to upset you." Wilson said defensively.

"Don't worry you're not upsetting me, you're pissing me off." House said leaning toward Wilson, "You have no idea what it was like and you keep questioning my decisions!"

"Then tell me what it was like House." Wilson snipped back.

House looked at him with calculating eyes, "No. Because believe it or not I don't have to explain myself to you. Now I answered you're question, maybe you should leave."

"No, he should stay I should go." Cuddy said standing up.

House tried to stand up but didn't even get off the couch, just remembering that his leg was paralyzed at the moment. "No, I want him to leave and you to stay." He said with irritation

"I have to go, the babysitter is about to leave." Cuddy explained. "Wilson, please stay with him and make sure he gets in the bed okay." she said looking at Wilson.

House looked up at her with narrowed eyes, "I'm a grown man, I don't need a damn babysitter."

Cuddy looked down at him letting her fingers comb through his hair, "Is it wrong of me to care about you and want to make sure you're okay?"

House sighed in frustration as he looked in her eyes. "I don't want you to go," He said softly.

"I know," Cuddy said with a sad smile and leaned down kissing him on the lips and then leaving.

Houses closed his eyes for the kiss, and left them closed even after she left leaning back in the couch. "You can go, I can take care of myself." House said with out emotion.

Wilson stood up with slumped shoulder but hesitated to take a step. "You want me to get you another beer?" he asked.

"Sure," House said not moving.

Wilson retrieved the beers and put Houses on the end table and sat down on the couch beside him. "So what are you thinking about?" he asked casually.

"Tomorrow," House said and then peeked over to the end table and took a sip of the beer.

"You'll do fine on the medication House." Wilson said in a reassuring way.

"I'm not worried about that." House said an looked at Wilson. "Tomorrow is when I get Cuddy's decision of what she wants."

Wilson thought about this for a minute, "Well what do you want your relationship to be?" He asked.

House shrugged, "I'm willing to take what ever she will give."

"Then why do you look so worried?" Wilson said trying to understand the problem.

"I don't think she's going to show up. I mean Cuddy's smart, attractive, successful; what reason would she have to date me." House said taking another sip of his beer.

Wilson leaned back in the couch and took a sip of his beer, "She likes you House."

House shook his head, "No she pity's me."

"Is that why you think she went out with you Med School." Wilson said glancing over at him.

House look over at Wilson with narrowed eyes and a smirk, "I knew you two were talking about me."

Wilson gave a half smile, "You know what I found fascinating? How much the story she told me sounded like a story you told me about the first girl you were with." he said watching House, who leaned back in the couch taking a sip of beer. "You could have told me."

"Things were different then, we were younger, I wasn't as much of an ass, she had less ass." House said laughing slightly at his joke. He shrugged, "If I had told you, you wouldn't have left me alone about it. Not to mention you have a hard time keeping your mouth shut, and it's not like I told her I was a 26 year old virgin."

Wilson smiled, "My point is, that it's quite possible that she just likes you, and by her accounts you were quite memorable." He said with a sly smile.

"Really?" House said with and evil grin.

"Ohhh yeah," Wilson said with a chuckle, "she even blushed."

House laughed taking a sip of his beer. "Maybe she will show up tomorrow."


	18. Chapter 18: This is Finally Happening

House was sitting at home playing the piano. His nerves had made him avoid Cuddy all day, and made it impossible to eat. When he had gotten home he had straightened up, put the new box of condoms in the night stand and had a couple of shots of vodka. He had also made a decision that if she did come over he didn't want to know her decision until after the deed was done. Then he had given his leg a shot of morphine and decided to just play the piano trying not to obsess about what time it was and if she would come over or not.

He was in the middle of one of his songs when he heard a knock at the door. House stopped playing and looked at the door with hesitation. Then he heard another knock, "I'm coming," he said grabbing his cane and making his way to the door. He nervously opened the door revealing Cuddy, who was wearing a tight red dress that started with a extremely low neck line and stopped mid-thigh. House stared at her with an open mouth.

Cuddy smiled nervously as the door opened, "Hi," she said not knowing what else to say. He was wearing a Rolling Stones tee and jeans, and of course his bruises from the fight the day before. She watched as he looked her over and was happy she had bought the dress after work. "Greg?" She said with an evil grin. He still just stood there leaning against his cane looking at her practically drooling. Cuddy suppressed a laugh and walked past him in the apartment. She turned around to find that he was right behind her.

House had lost all attempt of control when he had seen her in that dress. As soon as she turned around he combed her hair out of her face with his finger and leaned down kissing her with demanding lips. Cuddy had been taken off guard but kissed him back with desire. She felt his left arm wrap around her waist and he started moving slowly so she moved with him all the time not breaking the kiss. Soon she felt the wall behind her and he's mouth down to her neck.

Cuddy gasped as she felt his teeth rake across her neck with his facial hair scratching it softly and his left hand move down to her hips pulling her to him. "I... oh god... Greg... I thought mmmm... you wanted... to... ohhhhh talk." she said distracted by his mouth on her skin.

He stopped kissing her so that he could press his full body to hers, and looked down at her with need. "Not now, after." he said pressing himself to her again. He started kissing and biting her ear, which he knew was one of her spots as he hand moved to squeeze her breast. He wanted to stay here like this but he knew that the days of standing sex were way behind him. His right hand still held the cane shaken slightly with want to touch the beautiful woman in front of him. "Bedroom," he growled in her ear.

Cuddy felt a shiver move down her spine at the demand that had so much need behind it. She tried to move but found that he literally had her pinned there with his body. "Can't move." She said breathlessly.

House pulled away slightly and let her escape following close behind her in the dark bedroom who's only light was that from the unclosed door to the living room. Cuddy stopped at the bed noticing the vase of red and purple tulips on the end table. "Greg," She said looking at them remembering that he had given her the same flowers on there last date in Med School. She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt him wrap both arms around her as he started kissing the crook of neck and grazing it with his teeth from time to time from behind her. She put a hand back pulling his hips to her and could feel his erection through his jeans on her back. "Quit teasing me Greg," She said with desperation.

House sucked on her neck as his hands found her zipper and slid it down. He pulled away slightly and turned her to face him. "You ready Lisa?" He asked as his hand caressed her face.

Cuddy was over whelmed by the look in his eyes, it was the same look she had seen twenty years ago. "Yes,"she said looking him straight in the eyes.

House kept his eyes on hers as he pushed her dress down, not looking at her body until the dress softly fell to the floor. House's eyes combed over her body and he suddenly felt completely inadequate. "You're beautiful, why would you want me?" He asked with insecure eyes.

Cuddy swallowed at the look in his eyes and smiled, "I can think of some reasons," she said as her hand stroked him through his pants.

House gasped at her touch and kissed her to keep a moan from escaping his lips. As they kissed she unbuttoned his dress shirt pushing it off of him and then took off his tee shirt. She could tell he still felt insecure so she started kissing his chest where the bruises were while her hands took to unbuckled his belt but when her hands got to his jean button he pulled back. "I'll take them off in the bed." He said avoiding her eyes.

"Greg, it's okay," she said reaching to unbutton his pants again, but his hands stopped hers.

"Please," He said looking at her begging eyes.

Cuddy nodded, "Okay," she said softly knowing he needed this.

House pulled back the covers then sat down on the bed and toed off his shoes and socks. Cuddy walked to him and straddled him on the bed kissing his neck. His hands ran up her sides stopping when he felt the fabric of her bra and he quickly unfastened it. Cuddy arched her back which in turn pushed her harder against his clothed cock and gave him room to remove the bra.

"Ohhh," House voiced as he felt her against him and looked at her with dilated eyes and parted lips as he breathed heavily. His hands were slightly shaky as he pulled off her bra and threw it without looking. House twisted himself with his arm wrapped around her so he could lower her to the bed gently.

Cuddy was surprised by his strength and tenderness. "Greg, are you sure this is the best position for your leg?" She asked with concern as she laid on her back with him on top of her holding his weight with his arms.

House raised himself farther from her, "For this one night can you forget about my leg? This night is more important than that." There was frustration in his face.

"I just don't want you hurting yourself." She said softly rubbing his chest with her hand.

House rolled his eyes, and then he smiled evilly, "I guess I'll just have to take your mind off of it." And with that he lowered his head down and took her right nipple in his mouth. He teased it with his tongue and then playfully bit it and the under of her breast, then he did the same thing with the other now on hands and knees over her. He could hear her panting and stopped looking back at her, "Still worried?" he asked with a smile.

"Yes," She said between breaths.

House grinned, "Round two," he said. House now could use just one hand keep his weight off of her since he was using his knees too. He let the free hand slide up and down her body feeling every inch of her skin until he finally stopped on her pussy. He watched her gasp as his fingers slid under the red thong that covered it. He looked at her a little shocked, "What happened to my gorgeous curls?"

Cuddy blushed, "I thought you would like this better," she said with uncertainty.

House let his fingers slip to her opening which was wet and it made him groan from the desire to take her, "God, your so wet Lisa." he said as his slick fingers ran up and down her slit.

"Greg please," Cuddy moaned arching her back.

House felt his cock twitch at the demand against his jeans as he slid a finger inside her and started pumping it in and out. Cuddy closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. House grinned and slid another finger in her making her gasp slightly. He hated to lose his view of her face but he wanted this to be good for her so he started kiss her neck down to her breast as his thumb made slow circles on her clit, and he bent his finger to gently push against her g spot. She was moaning and grinding against his hand. He took one of her nipples in his teeth and pulled it slightly up watching her face.

Her eyes were on his and she could feel herself getting close to her climax, "harder," she said with need.

House pushed harder against her g spot and then started flicking her trapped nipple with his tongue, never letting his eyes leave hers.

"Ohhhhh Greg, yesssss," She moaned as felt herself climax holding on to his shoulders.

House let go of her red nipple and kissed her mouth deeply drinking in her moans as he pumped his fingers in and out of her slowly letting her ride out the orgasm. When he pulled back ending the kiss she was breathing deeply with her eyes heavily lidded, "You still concerned?" He asked please with his efforts.

Cuddy looked at him with confusion, "What?" She asked rubbing her hands along his torso.

"Perfect," House said as he crawled down between her legs and pulled down the thong he had just went around with his hand. He looked at her with lust and laid down letting his tongue explore her slowly.

Cuddy was afraid just the sight of him between her legs was going to set her off as she bit her lip hard. "Greg,... I don't think... your mouth...oh yeah... has ever been put...ohhhh.. to better use." She said looking down at him.

House laughed while softly sucking her clit which made her legs clamp around his head and her hips trust. House rubbed her legs and stopped for a second, "Oh, I think someone liked that." He said and started humming as he sucked tender nub.

Cuddy's eyes rolled back in her head, "Ohhhh God, I'mm I'm gonna... Ahhhhhhh," she moaned feeling her second orgasm take over and her body was literally shaking from the force of it. She looked down swallowing as House greedily licked her, she couldn't help but be turned on.

House looked up to see her eyes on him and he crawled back up her body kissing her along the way and sticking his tongue in her belly button which made her giggle and squirm, then her breast got his attention, then her neck as he sucked and kissed her finally kissing her softly on the mouth.

She explored his mouth with her tongue tasting herself on him as his stubble scratched her skin. Cuddy let her hands slide down his torso stopping on his jeans. This time there was no hesitation on his part so she unbuttoned them and unzipped them feeling his hard cock against her hands, she pulled away from the kiss looking down at him. "You're not wearing underwear." She stated with a smile looking back at him.

He smirked at her, "You don't look disappointed." House pushed his pants down and pulled the cover over them. He looked back down to see Cuddy looking up at him with warm eyes. He knew what she was thinking, this is finally happening. His mouth gaped open when he felt her hands start stroking his erection. He couldn't help panting watching her as she gave him an evil grin squeezing him slightly. "Aaaggghh," he groaned at the sensation on his sensitive cock.

"Where are the condoms?" Cuddy asked now tickling his cock with her finger tips.

House looked down at her with confusion, "What?"

"Condoms," Cuddy said with a cocked eyebrow.

House thought about it for a moment, "End table." He said in a deep voice. He watched as Cuddy ripped through the box and then through a package sliding it on him quickly. "Looks like someone is impatient," He said teasingly.

Cuddy gripped his cock and rubbed it against her wet opening, watching as he gritted his teeth and groaned, "God, you're big," she moaned at the thought of him inside.

House gently pushed the tip of his dick inside her, and stopped looking down at her with need. He kissed her lips and pushed himself slightly deeper. "Ohhhh, you feel so good." He said in a low voice that Cuddy remembered from the last time they slept together.

"Don't stop Greg, I need you." She said as her hands pulled his hips farther down and at the same time his cock deeper into her.

"Jesus Lisa, don't do that." He said with gritted teeth trying to make this last as long as possible. After he had calmed down he pushed deeper into her and then pulled out slightly and pushed back in even farther. He swallowed and started kissing her neck and sucking on it as he slowly pulled in and out.

"Mmmm," Cuddy moaned and let one of her hands touch where they were joined.

"Ohhh God," House moaned against her ear as her fingers slid up and down the half of his shaft that wasn't in her.

Cuddy swallowed at the amount of him that was still left to take, "Give me all of it Greg, I want all of you." She said breathlessly against his hair.

House closed his eyes and pushed himself the rest of the way into her, "Ohhhh.." Then he pulled out almost all the way and pushed himself completely back into her, "Lisssaaaa," he growled in an animalistic way.

"That's it Greg... It feels... so good... ohhhh yes." She said rotating her hips loving the feeling of having him deep insider her.

House pulled out again and then back in and that was it, he couldn't hold back any longer, "Aaaarrrrgggghhhh, Ohhhhhhh..." He growled deeply, pressing his face into her hair as he felt his eyes water from the physical and emotional connection, slowly pumping himself in and out of her.

Cuddy was surprised that he hadn't lasted any longer, but was till pleased that he had felt so good. "Hey relax." She said softly rubbing his body and feeling the tight muscles.

House nuzzled her neck and gave it a kiss before he pulled away and out of her, taking the condom and throwing it in a trash can beside the bed. He avoided her eyes and laid down beside her on his back looking at the ceiling. Cuddy turned to lay on her side facing him. She took in his large eyes and parted lips as and the swallow, "Greg..." She stopped speaking when she noticed that there was a wet trail from his eye. Her eyes widened, she wasn't sure if had teared up now or before.

"I'm sorry," House said with a grimace, "That didn't last very long, but it's been a while."

Cuddy propped herself up on an elbow and let her hand rub up and down his torso. "And how long is a while... a week?" She said with a smile.

House closed his eyes not answering.

Cuddy decided to take another guess since he hadn't answer, "What has it been a whole month?" She asked and suddenly realized that something was wrong when he turned his head away from her. "Hey Greg, you can tell me, what's wrong." She said with concern.

House sighed and lick his lips, "I haven't been with anyone since Stacy," he said in almost a whisper, and then he felt her hand stop.

Cuddy's eyes widened, she had never expected that. Her heart raced at the implications of what they had just done meant to him. She looked at him with concern, "Why?" She asked as she used her hand to try and make him look at her trying to be careful not to brush the bruise on his face.

House moved his head to her touch but kept his eyes closed. His right hand rubbed over the scar tissue on his leg and he swallowed.

Cuddy watched him and saw the movement of covers and realize he was rubbing his leg. She wanted to hug him and tell him that it didn't make him any less of a man, but she knew if she did that he would freak out. "Greg, you are so much more than just your leg?" She said caressing the left side of his face.

House opened his eyes and looked at her, "The first thing everyone notices about me is the cane, and surprisingly women just don't find cripples sexy." He said with a little sarcasm.

Cuddy thought a little about what he had said, "Well if that's the only reason why didn't you get together with Cameron?"

House sighed, "She only wanted something to do with me because I'm so damaged, it was kind of insulting." He said with a cocked eyebrow

Cuddy kissed him, "Either that our she heard some rumors," she said patting his privates through the covers.

House laughed, "Why have you been spreading them?" He asked with a smirk.

Cuddy gave him and evil grin, "You never know."

House smiled and then it faded, "Lisa, what do want?" He asked watching her.

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow, "Hmmm, What do I want?" She said sliding her hand under the covers and down his body.

"Seriously Lisa, I need to know, I need to be prepared." He said pushing her hair from her face.

Cuddy could see the seriousness in his eyes, "I think we should give this a few weeks and then see where we're at. If things are going well, then we continue, and if it isn't working for one of us then we stop." She said now rubbing his stomach.

"Alright, I can do that," House said giving her a hopeful smile and propping himself up on his elbow as he turned toward her. House ran his hand down the side of her while kissing her tenderly.


	19. Chapter 19: Seconds are Better

Cuddy pushed herself closer to him and softly scratched his back with her nails.

"Mmmm, you're going to be the death of me." He whispered in her ear and then started licking and biting it.

"Oh God," She breathed as her hand slide down to his ass pulling him closer and feeling his hardening cock.

House smiled, "It's Greg," he growled in her ear, then pushed her on her back and climbed on top of her.

Cuddy laughed and started to run her hands down to tease him when he captured them and held them to the bed one on each side of her head, "Trust me," He said looking into her eyes.

Cuddy swallowed and nodded.

House started licking and nipping her neck sucking when he was right over her artery and softly biting. "Ohhhh," Cuddy moaned arching her back to try and get closer to his body, she had never let anyone take control like this, but she was getting so turned on by the idea of him controlling her in this way.

House smiled and rewarded her by rubbing his semi hard cock against her pussy's lips. Cuddy gasped and threw her head a back biting her lip. House kissed and licked all over her breast except the nipple and when he saw her starting to finally calm down he trapped her nipple between his teeth and started rubbing against her in a agonizingly slow way.

"Greg, I'm so wet for you, please," She begged looking down at him.

House grinned and let go of the nipple, "What do you want me to do?" He said with an evil grin and a cocked eyebrow.

Cuddy looked at him with daring eyes, "You know what I want." She said

House rubbed himself against her faster, "I need to hear you say it Lisa," He whispered in her ear with heated breath.

Cuddy never knew that something like this could turn her on so much, "Please put your big cock in me, I want it so bad." She moaned grinding against him.

House pulled himself back and let go of her right hand, "Condom." He demanded breathlessly now wanting to give her what she wanted more than ever.

"No, don't worry about it." Cuddy said bending her knees to give him better access.

House looked at her slightly confused, "Are you sure?"

Cuddy nodded and Houses pushed the tip of his cock into her. The sensation made both of them moan. House grabbed her right wrist and held it beside her head again pinning her down to the bed as he started to slowly pull in and out of her.

"Oh Greg... keep it like this..." Cuddy said then bit her lip.

House watched her and could see the slight tightening of skin under her eyes and stopped moving all together. "I'm hurting you." He said letting go of her wrists.

Cuddy grabbed his torso before he could move away.

House felt her arms stop him, "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked with guilt.

"Greg, it's just that I'm going to have to stretch a little to handle you. It's okay I'm not in pain, it's just a slight discomfort it'll be over soon, please don't stop." She said pulling him toward her.

House looked her in the eyes, "Promise me that if it starts to hurt you'll tell me." He said seriously.

Cuddy pulled his head down and kissed him then pulled back and looked at him, "I promise."

House nodded and slowly pushed himself slightly back inside of her but didn't move hoping to let her adjust to his width. "Did it hurt last time?" He asked her.

Cuddy shook her head no. "The condom has a numbing lubricant, so I couldn't feel myself stretching."

House thought about this, "If it would be less painful, then maybe I should wear a condom."

"No Greg, I want to feel you inside of me, last time was great, but this is even better." She said and then rocked her hips feeling the inch and a half that was in her.

House took a quick intake of air at the sensation trying not to move. "Lissaaa," He groaned, "can I move now."

Cuddy smiled, "Yes," she said and put her hands back by her head.

House put his hands back down on her wrists and moved at an agonizingly slow pace in and out of her to make sure not to hurt her. It also helped him not to get to overwhelmed by the sensation of being in her without the condom.

Cuddy watched his eyes on hers as he pumped in and out with care, and listened to his deep breathing. She was blown away by how beautiful he was over her like this. "You can go deeper." She said and watched as he swallowed and nodded, pushing slightly farther into her. Cuddy licked her lips at the feeling of him pressing deeper in her. House leaned down and kissed her lips softly at first and then more passionately.

Cuddy kissed him back with want, and lifted her feet to wrap around his waist, which also made him slide in deeper.

House pulled away from the kiss, "Aaarrrrghhh," he moaned and pulled out and then back in.

"Ohhhh, yess," Cuddy voiced her pleasure over the motion.

House repeated the motion again, and felt her feet pressing into his back as she moaned. House grinned, "Feeling more comfortable?" He asked.

Cuddy's eyes were lust filled, "Greg, I need more," she said with desperation.

House smiled at her, "Lets try something," he said letting go of her hands and leaning back so he was just on his knees.

Cuddy looked at him with question and then watched as he softly put her legs resting on one of his broad shoulders all the time still inside her. "What are you... ooooh goooddd," she moaned as he pushed himself slowly in and out of her the new angle making her take him a little deeper.

House looked down at his cock going in and out of her and bit his lip as he felt himself harden even more. He then moved his right hand to her clit and started rubbing.

"Don't... stop... feels... mmmm..." Cuddy wanted to put in words how good he felt but couldn't because it there wasn't anything like it.

House looked at her, "Cum for me Lisa," He said panting as he pushed him self slightly deeper.

Cuddy's hands pulled at the covers as she looked in his dark demanding eyes and felt him thrust in her and gently back pull slightly out just to thrust in her again.

He could feel the slight shake of her legs and knew she wasn't going to last much longer. He quickened his pace on her clit and watched her as he pulled almost all the way out and then thrusted almost half of himself back in.

Cuddy bit her lip hard trying to hold on to her control not wanting to orgasm just yet.

"Don't you dare get shy on me now," House said almost growling.

"Greg... it feels... so good... I'm... afraid." She said looking at him with pleading eyes.

House grabbed her left hand and entwined his finger in hers. "I'm here with you Lisa, it's okay let go." He said looking in her eyes, "I... Lisa... ," He said too afraid to say what he wanted to. He hoped she understood as he thrusted into her in her with want and pulled out again pushing a little deeper.

"I'mmm... ooohhhhhh," she groaned deeply as she came on his thick cock. She felt her legs shaking and looked in House's eyes that were glued to hers as he moved in and out of her.

"You still want me deeper?" He asked watching as she struggled to breath.

Cuddy looked at him surprised that there was still more of him and nodded, "Yes," she said and swallowed, "I want all of you."

House looked down at how much of him was left. "Okay, but it's going to have to be slowly." He said looking back at her, "I'm only two thirds in." He explained.

Cuddy nodded and put her hands to her side. House put his hands over her wrist and pushed himself slightly deeper in her and then pulled away gently and then back in deeper. This continued for several minute the last of them House looked into her eyes groaning each time he pushed in. House knew he was getting close, and started to pull away.

"What are you doing?" She asked watching him.

"Lisa I need to pull out before I cum," He said through gritted teeth.

Cuddy moved her legs wrapping them around his waist and pulling him to her, "Cum inside me Greg."

House looked at her with wide eyes, "Lisa.." He groaned as she let her feet move down to his butt pulling him deeper in her.

"Cum inside me, I want feel you cum in me," She said now panting as she could feel him swell more in her.

House was now panting heavily and quickly grabbed her wrists and started pumping him self completely in her while looking in her eyes, he felt the tears start to fill his eyes as he started to come closer to his climax, and bit his lip looking up so she wouldn't see.

Cuddy noticed him looking away, "Look... at me... please," she said starting to feel herself getting close to climaxing again.

House licked his lips and slowly looked down at her feeling the tears fall from his eyes, "It... feels sooo, ohhhhh, too... good." He said with tears still filling his eyes.

Cuddy was so turned on my his deep voice and the emotion of his eyes that she climaxed, "Ohhhhh Goddd, take me." She moaned as her hips pushed against his.

House was now thrusting in her with demand, and his mouth was suddenly on her neck biting down as he groaned finally spilling his seed inside of her.

"Deeper," She whispered to him and felt him grind his seeping pulsing cock so deep in her she could feel his tight balls pressed against her. "Greg?" she asked with concern after a few seconds passed and he was still grinding and gasping for air.

"Still cumming," He said against her neck and tightened his hold on her wrists, pumping all he had in her hot wet pussy. When he was finally done his entire body was shaky and he collapsed on top of her, not bothering to remove himself just yet.

Cuddy wrapped her arms around him, "God that felt amazing," she said now exhausted.

House barely had the energy to push his lips to her ear, "I told you my name is Greg, don't you dare give him credit for what I did to you." He whispered to her and tried to growl but it came out as more of a purr.

Cuddy ran her hands up and down the back of him stopping to give his but a good squeeze, "Well in the bedroom, God fits better." She said kiss his neck.

House grinned and could feel himself falling asleep he pushed himself off of her and slid beside her grabbing her waist and pulling her back to his front.

Cuddy smiled at the gesture and looked at the clock it was only 10:30 so she still had time to cuddle before she needed to get home, of course he was snoring in a matter of seconds but his arms were still firm around her. Cuddy sighed and closed her eyes.

Cuddy's eyes opened to see that it was now 11:00 an she heard House mumbling, and suddenly she felt a cold chill run up her spine. House was holding her tight, "No more... hurts too much... please... I'll be good... no.. No... NO!" he screamed, but the creepiest thing was the childlike voice and the shivering of his body. Cuddy swallowed as she felt her eyes water. "It's so cold... don't make me!" House mumbled with the panic of a five year old.

Cuddy couldn't take it anymore, "Greg wake up!" She said loudly unable to face him because of the vice grip he had on her.

"I'm sorry...," He mumbled in the same childlike voice.

"House!" She screamed in hoped of waking him.

House awoke jerking and looking around. "Lisa?" He questioned and then everything came flooding back to him, "Sorry I dozed off." He said letting go of her waist.

Cuddy turned to look at him once again greeted by the dark bruise on his left cheek bone, "What were you dreaming about?" She asked.

House shook his head, "Nothing important, why?"

Cuddy knew this wasn't the time to push him to much. "You were just talking that's all." She could see him tighten up and feel the tension that now was in the room.

"What did I say?" He asked with a coldness in his voice.

Cuddy shrugged, "Something about being cold," she said not wanting to ruin the night.

"Oh," he said and relaxed a little, "What time is it?"

"Eleven," she said looking at him with concern, "How's the leg?"

House rolled his eyes, "After everything we just did, you are asking me about my leg?"

Lisa cocked an eyebrow, "You have a better question?" she asked.

"Why didn't you want me to wear a condom?" House asked wrapping his arm around her.

Cuddy knew there was no perfect way to explain, "The only reason I wanted you to wear one the first time was because, I..." Cuddy sighed.

"What?" House said looking at her with concern.

Cuddy hated herself for making bad assumptions, "I thought you had slept with all the hookers in town." She said looking in his eyes.

House pulled back slightly, usually he wouldn't have cared if she had said it, but in this intimate space he felt like she had cut him.

Cuddy could see the hurt in his eyes and body language. "Greg, I'm sorry but you have always had that kind of reputation."

House looked at her with confusion, "What's that suppose to mean?" he asked.

"Even at John Hopkins you were known for getting around," Cuddy said trying to explain her assumption.

House laugh, "Oh really? Are you sure you have the right Greg?" House said with a smile

"Yes," Cuddy said with certainty, "All the girls in the sororities had their own story."

"I would love to hear them someday." He said and chuckled finding the idea of girls retelling sex story about him that never happened hilarious.

Cuddy was getting irritated at him now, "Why were you too drunk to remember most of them?"

House laughed even louder, "Yeah I don't think I'll ever get to drunk to forget sex."

Cuddy was getting more frustrated by him, "Then why are you laughing?"

House looked at her still smiling, "In med school, I was the go to guy, in the sense of papers, getting test before hand, and dirt on the teachers. I partied a little, and dated even less. Nothings a bigger turn off than stupid."

Cuddy eyed him, "Their stories weren't about dating." she said flatly.

House sighed, "Let's just say that they were lying."

"They couldn't have all been lying, Greg." Cuddy said, "You don't even know who all I talk to."

House pulled her to him, "They all were lying because you were the only woman I was ever with at John Hopkins." He said softly. "Although it seems like I might have made an appearance in a lot of other girls fantasies." He said smiling.

Cuddy knew that this should make her feel better, but it only made her more mad, "Fine, then if what we did was so special, then why the hell didn't you call me back?"

House looked in her eyes with regret, "I wanted to... but..."

"What Greg?" Cuddy asked with anger, "I wasn't a good enough lay. I was boring, or maybe I was just too stupid for you."

House couldn't take hearing another word so he pinned her down hoping that she would actually listen to him this time, "No, you are still the best I've had, you don't even know how to be boring and you are the smartest woman I've ever known. I didn't call because I got expelled!" House said with shame, then he turned his face from her, "I knew if I told you, I'd disappoint you and you would just dump me anyway, so I just didn't call."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "You idiot, I wouldn't have dumped you."

House looked back at her, "It's easy to say that now."

"Greg, you were the smartest, sexiest, and funniest man I had ever met back then. You could have done anything and I wouldn't have left you." Cuddy said finding that once again she was wondering exactly who Gregory House was.

"I've disappointed everyone in my life so many times, when I met you... I didn't want to disappoint you, Lisa." He said squeezing her hand. "By the way, if I had an STD I wouldn't have had sex with you."

Cuddy looked over at him, "So your telling me if you got herpes you would what, just never have sex again."

House looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, "Palmula and Naughtyia would stick by me, just like they always have." House pulled his hand from her and looked at both of them. "Don't worry babies, I love both of you." He said giving them a kiss.

"That's... disturbing," Cuddy said closing her eyes and shaking her head.

"More disturbing than the idea of me sleeping with hookers and spreading STD's?" He asked.

Cuddy grimaced, "Not quite that bad," she said and got out of the bed, "You mind if I take a shower," she asked.

"That's fine, but could you hand me my shirt first?" He asked.

Cuddy leaned down to pick it up, "Why do you need your shirt?" She asked.

House watched her ass and smiled when she turned around and saw where he was looking, "I don't," he said with a smirk, and she threw it at him and went to take a shower.


	20. Chapter 20: Unexpected Findings

It was 3:42 when House woke up and immediately started rubbing his leg. He sighed knowing all to well what his morning was probably going to be like. House looked over at the bottle of oxycodone that was on the end table and the flowers that Cuddy had forgotten. He thought about what she would do if he were to take them to her this morning. How everyone would look at him if he went into Cuddy's office with a vase full of flowers. His smile faded when he looked back at the pill bottle. House grabbed the bottle and took two of them, and hoped that it would be enough to help him to get back to sleep.

The next time he woke up it was 9:07 and his leg was throbbing with pain. House took two more pills and carefully got out of the bed using it and his cane to support himself as he walked until he had made it to the foot of the bed. House slowly closed the distance to the bathroom where he peed and drew a hot bath to soak his leg in. House considered calling Wilson for a fleeting second, but he knew if he did he would have to explain why his leg was having spasms and taking the local paralyzing shot would make him extremely late to work, which he was trying to avoid. House sat in the tub and tried his best to massage the pain out of his leg, but it wasn't working and he soon had his first spasm of the morning which made him slosh water out of the tub while holding it's sides. It was at least over quickly and he knew he had a good ten to twenty minutes before the next one, so he bathed quickly and got out of the tub.

It was just turning ten and Cuddy still hadn't seen House come in. She paced her office anxiously, as she had just realized this morning that they had never discussed how they were to act at work. She had been afraid all morning of what he would do when he came in today. She had actually thought he would have been here early just to pull off some great scheme. Suddenly it hit Cuddy what if he had beaten her there, what if he was sitting in his office handing out posters of a picture he took of her with some secret camera.

Cuddy marched up to his office and found that it was empty. "Have any of you seen House?" Cuddy asked looking at his team.

They all shook there heads and she looked at her watch noting that it was now 10:30 and decided that she would check with Wilson.

Cuddy knocked on the door and Wilson answered it looking a little surprised to see her.

"Hello, Dr. Cuddy." Wilson said opening the door of his office to let her in.

Cuddy walked in and started messing with her bracelet nervously. "Have you seen him or heard from him?" She asked as soon as he had closed the door.

Wilson turned to her, "I assume we are talking about House." He said and she gave him a duh look. "I'm sorry, haven't heard anything from him, why did things go badly?" He asked now worried.

"No, things went... it was fine," Cuddy said smiling, "It's just, you know House, anytime things are going good, he has to find a way to screw them up."

"You mean like telling everyone about you too or sending embarrassing photo's of you to everyone that works for the hospital?" Wilson said knowing House.

Cuddy nodded, "Yeah something like that or... he is avoiding me." She said thinking about it, "Oh I'm not letting him do that again." Cuddy took out her phone and called him, but it went to voice mail. "Wilson would you call him and see if he answers for you," she asked getting more frustrated.

Wilson called but got the same thing, and then he looked at Cuddy with apprehension. "He usually answers my calls, maybe I should take a trip by his place and make sure he's okay." He said now wondering what was going on with House.

"Great idea, and I'll come along with you and give him a piece of my mind. There is no way that I'm going to let him pull this crap at work, because of our relationship outside of work. If he thinks that he has got another thing coming. What an ass!" Cuddy finally ended her small rant still frustrated, walking beside Wilson.

Wilson swallowed knowing that Cuddy was going to let into House then minute she saw him, but at the same time he felt like maybe House deserved it a little. It didn't take Wilson long to get to House's apartment he knew all the short cuts, from driving the distance so many times. Wilson got out and Cuddy followed him. "Listen I know your mad right now," Cuddy gave him a death glare, "and rightfully so, but he might actually open the door if he thinks it's me," Wilson said truthfully.

Cuddy sighed, "Alright, see if he will open the door, if he doesn't I'm going to open it and when I find him...ohhhhh, when I find him." She said glaring at the door.

Wilson couldn't help but feel sorry for House or anyone for that matter that got on Cuddy's bad side, and made a note to himself never to do so. Wilson walked over to the door, "Hey House! Open up! I'm worried about you... House!" The silence worried him, no smart ass comments, or yelling for him to just leave him alone. Wilson turned to Cuddy, "Was his bike here?" He asked.

Cuddy shrugged and Wilson when to check. "House open this door NOW! You can't just not show up to work! House! Oh, you just wait until I get a hold of you!" She said as she started to unlock the door.

House had been throwing up when he had heard Wilson at the door, and had been about to shout back when he heard Cuddy's voice, and then he panicked. She couldn't find out about this, it was just to much, so he's eyes searched for places to hide, and under the bed won since he could get there quickly and without using his leg. House used his arms to drag himself over to the bed at a quick pace and then he looked at his bent knee and looked away as he put both hands on it to press it down, he jerked from the pain and then he heard the key in the door, he laid down flat and slid on the floor under the bed which had a thick layer of dust. House hoped they would be quick because his leg wasn't getting any better and he dust was so thick it felt like he couldn't breath.

Cuddy opened the door and walked in and then Wilson walked in behind her, "Well both the car and bike are here." He said and looked around.

"Oh, he's here, he's just hiding," Cuddy said with certainty. As she started to look the living room over with Wilson. When they didn't' find him there she walked through the bathroom noticing that there was water all over the floor, and finally she opened the bed room door. Everything was as she remembered it and she just remembered that she had forgotten her flowers.

Wilson looked at the flowers too, and the looked at Cuddy, "Forget something last night?" He asked

Cuddy looked at them with daggers, "Yeah, I forgot what kind of ass House could be." She said as she kept walking around the room.

Wilson sighed, "House isn't perfect, you knew that along time ago, but if you give him a chance you might be surprised."

"You're right Wilson, he surprises me all the time! Every time he lies to me or does something more crazy than the last time... I don't know what was going through my head when I asked him out. I thought he would be different in a relationship, but... he isn't. I bet he's been lying to me about everything," she said as she sat down on the bed.

House could hear everything she was saying and it was hard to listen too. House swallowed trying not to let it bother him and rubbed his leg as the pain seemed to intensify. He was pouring sweat from the pain and the stuffiness of the space. He could feel his breathing getting more labored and turned his head toward the side of the bed hoping to get some fresh air.

Wilson walked over to Cuddy, "Hey he cares about you, believe it or not, the crazy stuff he does means he's trying." He said and gave her a hug, and then looked at her with worry, "Are you having problems breathing?"

Cuddy looked up at him confused, "No," she said wondering why he asked.

Wilson put a finger to his lips to let her know to be quite. They both listened and then there eyes went to the bed. Cuddy's eyes lit up and she mouthed to Wilson to stay were he was and she silently scooted across the bed and then leaned off the side of it an looked under it. She was looking right at him but his eyes were closed and he was breathing ragged, she turned her head and could see his hand in a fist and his leg was jerking from a spasm. Cuddy swallowed and pulled her self back on the bed slowly. Wilson moved his arms so she would look at him and pointed under the bed and mouthed House. Cuddy nodded with a worried look. Wilson's expression became confused and Cuddy pointed to her leg. Wilson understood and slowly walked to the side of the bed she was on and bent down to look under.

House opened his eyes as he heard the footsteps get closer. Hoping that Wilson was going to look in the closet, but when the feet stopped he knew he had been found out.

Wilson saw House's eyes on him when he looked. "House, why are under the bed?" He whispered noticing that House was only wearing underwear.

"Shh,... don't let... her know,... don't... tell her." House begged in a broken whisper.

Wilson sighed, "She already knows House."

House turned his head and looked up at the bed as he continued to battle the spasm.

Wilson waited until he could tell the spasm was over. "You need help getting out from under there?" He asked.

House pulled himself out from under the bed with one arm and covered his scar up with his hand the moment he was out. He sucked in the fresh cool air then sat up and looked up at where Cuddy was sitting on the bed looking away from him.

Wilson now could see that House was covered in sweat which meant that this had been going on for a while now. "How long House."

House looked back at him, he knew the question all to well, "I don't know... What time is it?" He asked.

Wilson was still bent down on a knee, "What time did it start?" Wilson asked.

House looked down, "Started around nine."

Wilson shook his head and sighed, "Great so you've been like this for two and a half hours. By the way what the hell did you do to yourself to be having leg spasms less than two day from the last one? You run a marathon or something?"

"We had sex," Cuddy said now staring down at House. "You told me not to worry about your leg, you acted like it was fine," she said with hurt in her eyes.

Wilson looked at Cuddy, "No that can't be it are he would be like this all the time."

"No he wouldn't, tell him House or I will," Cuddy said watching him.

House looked up at Wilson, "I don't sleep with hookers... I... haven't been with anyone since Stacy."

"But then why..." Wilson started but was cut off by House.

"Because you wouldn't stop trying to set me up with people and making me go to those stupid speed dating places." House said with frustration, "So I told you what I thought you'd believe to get you to just me alone about relationships."

Wilson looked at him and thought about what he was saying, "But this doesn't happen every time you..." Wilson didn't feel he need to say the rest.

House hung his head and rubbed his hand over his face.

"House?" Wilson asked still waiting for an answer.

House looked up at Cuddy and then back at Wilson, "See this is why I don't date, one week and now she knows how completely pathetic... I... am." House fell back on the floor as another spasm started. His back curved up off the ground and his hands fisted as his breathing became more labored.

Wilson stood up and looked at Cuddy, "I'm going to go and get him some shots for his leg."

Cuddy nodded and he left. She looked down at the man she had shared a bed with only 14 hours ago and got off the bed and sat down beside him. "Greg, why didn't you tell me you stubborn bastard?" She asked as she combed his hair back with her fingers since she knew he liked it.

House closed his eyes and swallowed trying to ride out the spasm. Cuddy looked at him and the way he was rubbing his fist against his scar.

House finally felt the spasm slowing down but then felt his stomach twisting, "Move," he commanded and when Cuddy pulled back from him he started dragging himself to the restroom quickly trying not to vomit. He could tell he wasn't going to make it to the toilet so he grabbed the trash can and heaved up the bile that had pushed it's way up his throat.

Cuddy watched his body shake as he held the trash can and vomited again. She quickly grabbed a glass of water and a blanket off the couch. She walked in to find him leaned back against the toilet covered in sweat. "Here," she said and gave him the water.

House took the water and rinse his mouth out with it and then drank the little that was left.

Cuddy sat down behind him and pulled him too her when he had finish, she smiled when he didn't fight her and put the blanket around him.

"It didn't hurt while we were together, I had taken a shot of morphine." House said breathing deeply trying to rest his tired body.

Cuddy kissed his back, "You still should have told me about the spasms."

House pulled away from her slightly so he could turn enough to see her face, "Would you have slept with me if I had?" He asked.

Cuddy sighed, "I don't know... maybe if I had been on top it would have been like this."

House looked at her with irritation. "I'm not a bottom kind of guy, and I thought you enjoyed what I did."

Cuddy looked at him with a sad expression, "I did, but it's not worth this," she said looking at him.

House turned back straight so he didn't have to look at her, "It was worth it to me." he mumbled.

Cuddy looked at his back in the light and could see old scars that littered it. "And if I was the one in pain and sick would you feel the same way?"

House turned to look at her, "Lisa I'm in pain everyday. I'm always going to be in pain, and I'm always going to have spasms, but..." House looked down, "last night was the first time in years... that I remember feeling good, after all the pain... I forgot there was anything else." House looked up at Cuddy with sincerity, "My leg is why I'm in pain now, not you."

Cuddy scooted to the side of him so it was easier to look at each other. "You made me feel good too, but you could have called Wilson or me over when your leg started giving you trouble. Why didn't you?"

House looked at Cuddy, "I didn't want this, I didn't want you to be mad at me or worrying about me and don't want you to question what we did last night."

Cuddy looked at him with compassion, "You could have at least..." she stopped as she watched him jerk back to the floor, his right hand pushed into the scar on his leg, while the other one was in a tight fist. She sighed as his back curved off the floor and his eyes closed tight while he clenched his teeth as his spasm worsened.

Wilson walked in the bathroom finally back from getting the shots at the hospital.

Cuddy looked up at him, "You have no idea how glad I am to see you right now."

Wilson gave her a half smile and looked down at House's jerking leg. "I can't give him the shot until this spasm is over." He said and sat down beside House. "Hey House, I'm back." Wilson said grabbing House's fisted left hand.

House opened his hand and grabbing Wilson's squeezing it tight. "What... took... so long?" House said through ragged breaths look at him.

Wilson smiled, "You miss me House."

House attempted a half smile but it looked more like a grimace, "In your... dreams."

Wilson's smile faded, "How bad is it?"

House swallowed and rocked his head back and forth. "Pep... talk," he said.

Wilson sighed, "House you know I don't like doing that."

House's grip on Wilson's hand tightened and his leg jerked more from the intensity of the spasm.

Wilson folded at seeing House in so much pain. "Come on! Suck it up! You think this is pain? This isn't anything compared to what will happen if you don't stop acting like a child about this! My cancer patients are stronger than this!" Wilson yelled and then looked away from House.

"More," House said still holding Wilson's hand in a vice grip.

Wilson looked back at him and swallowed, "You are acting like a fucking coward House! Is that what you are? Man up and take your medicine! I bet it doesn't even hurt you cry baby! I swear if you don't stop this I'm gonna make you wish you did." Wilson finished and once again turned his face from House's.

House could feel his spasm ending and let go of Wilson's hand. "Thanks," He said breathing more calmly now.

Wilson still didn't look at him, "Yeah," he said and pulled the syringe from his pocket and gave House the shot in his leg. Wilson stood up with watery eyes looking at the wall, "I'm going into the living room for a minute." he said and walked out.

Cuddy looked at House not even knowing what to say about what had just happened.

"Go," House said, "I'm fine right now, he needs someone."

Cuddy looked at the door that Wilson had walked through, and got up leaving House on the floor in the bathroom. Wilson was sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"What was that?" She asked him looking down at him.

Wilson didn't look up, "House's version of a pep talk," he said shaking his head in his hands, "What kind of person thinks that is a pep talk?" Wilson asked finally looking up at Cuddy.

Cuddy sighed, "Someone that is more familiar with abuse than kindness."

Wilson looked back down, "You know what I always wonder? I wonder who he sees when he looks at me and I'm saying that."

Cuddy sat down beside him, "Maybe you should ask him." she said putting a hand on his shoulder.

Wilson looked over at her, "He wouldn't answer me if I did, I just wish he wouldn't ask me to do it."

Cuddy looked back at the bathroom, "Why don't you just say no?"

Wilson followed her gaze at the bathroom, "Because it helps him, speaking of which we should get back in there. Thanks Cuddy." He said and got up to check on House with Cuddy behind him.

House was laying on the floor holding his stomach with a grimace with the blanket that Cuddy had brought him covering his legs.

Wilson looked at him and then raised his eyebrows and put his hands on his hips, "When's the last time you ate House?"

Housed looked up at Wilson and then glanced at Cuddy, "She's the one who wouldn't let me eat... well food that is, last night. You should have seen her she attacked me as soon as I opened the door."

Cuddy's jaw dropped, "I did no such thing!" she said glaring at House.

House smiled, "Are you saying you didn't let me dine on..." House started but Wilson interrupted.

"Okay, I don't want to know what you did or didn't do last night House. All I want to know is the last time you ate food, and by food I mean a meal." Wilson said watching him.

House licked his lips and sighed in defeat, "Tuesday night."

Cuddy looked and him with a mixture of worry and anger, "Do you just not eat if someone doesn't buy you a meal?"

House rolled his eyes.

"House why didn't you eat yesterday?" Wilson said running his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"What's the longest amount of time either of you have been without sex?" House asked looking at them.

Cuddy looked down at him with annoyance, "That has nothing to do with this, House."

"Actually it does Lisa, by the way here I'm not your employee." House said with irritation, "Come on now people, answer the question."

Wilson thought about it, "I went three months once."

Cuddy looked at House and put her hands on her hips, "Five months for me."

House sighed, "Well when it's been almost three years since you've been with someone, and you haven't been with anyone different in 16 years, you tend to be anxious or nervous or just scared out of mind about it. So I didn't eat, alright."

Cuddy sucked her bottom lip and nodded at him.

Wilson sighed, "Okay House, you made your point. So what do you want to eat, because I've got to get going soon, I have two consults and a patient to see today."

House looked over at Cuddy, "Maybe my girlfriend can stay and play Doctor with me."

Cuddy gave him a half smile, "I never said that I was your girlfriend and I'm busy today too. Sorry maybe I can stop by after work."

House pouted, "Stacy use to stay home with me when I was sick."

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow, "Yes and she use to beat the crap out of you, wonder if that had anything to do with spending too much time with you?" She said snidely.

House's eyes got big and his jaw tightened, "Who told you Stacy hit me?" he asked coldly as he dragged himself over to a wall and leaned back on it.

Cuddy realized that she had said the wrong thing and suddenly started studying her bracelet.

House watched her and grew more agitated. "Who told you about Stacy hitting me?" he said louder this time.

Cuddy glanced at Wilson for help who was staring at the floor.

House saw the glance and looked over to Wilson. "You told her? Why would you tell her that? Just tell me you didn't re-account anything." House said looking at Wilson with annoyance.

Wilson glanced at House and then looked at the wall, "I might have mentioned how I found you when Stacy left you." Wilson said with a grimace.

House looked up at him with eyes the size of saucers, "Why would you do that? Did you think I didn't seem pathetic enough, believe me I've got pathetic covered, I don't need any help there."

Wilson looked down at House, "She asked me directly if I knew if Stacy hit you. I wasn't going to lie about it."

"That still doesn't explain why you had to re-account me being dumped. It wasn't even a big deal." House said bitterly.

Wilson looked at House with worry, "You had dark bruises all over your body, it looked like someone took a baseball bat to you. How can you say that it's no big deal."

House rolled his eyes, "It was a 5 iron and it didn't even hurt that much."

Wilson's eyes widen at the information, "And the bruises on you right leg, just a couple of weeks out of surgery, you're telling me those didn't hurt?"

House looked at the tile on the ground, "She was just so mad, that she wasn't paying attention, it was an accident."

Wilson's eyes saddened, "Over and over again? House it wasn't an accident."

"She would never hurt me on purpose, she loved me," House said looking at Wilson with certainty.

Wilson looked over to Cuddy and let out a sigh looking back at House, "There is something I should tell you."

House looked from Wilson to a very nervous Cuddy, "What is it?" He said wondering what this was about.

"Wilson, are you sure that this is a good idea?" Cuddy said looking him with worried eyes.

"I should have told him along time ago," Wilson said and looked to House, "When Stacy called me the morning after leaving you she said more than what I told you."

House looked back and forth between Cuddy and Wilson, "And you decided to tell her about this before me?"

Wilson sighed deeply, "I need to tell someone, and I wasn't sure if I should tell you."

House rolled his eyes, "Oh come on with it, I'm not as delicate as you seem to think I am."

Wilson looked straight at him, "She said that she never loved you. She told me that she wanted to hurt you because you made her mad. She told me that she had," Wilson looked away for a moment and then back up, "had abortions and never told you about it. She said that she was leaving you because you deserved someone that loved you and she deserved to find someone that she loved. She said she didn't like who she was with you, or who you were with her."

House swallowed looking back at Wilson never blinking, "See I'm fine."

Wilson sat down on the floor across from House. "I should have told you sooner, but you always seemed to idolize her, and I didn't want to take that away from you."

House shrugged, "Like I said I'm fine, I never thought she was perfect."

Wilson looked down, "I'm sorry about having to tell you this, and I wanted you to know that I had no idea about the abortions until that call."

House stared at a empty wall and blinked a few times, "It's not like I ever showed an interest in having children, and it wasn't like we were married, it was her call."

"You two were together for five years, that's longer than most marriages now days, she should have told you." Wilson said watching him.

House turned and looked at Wilson with cold eyes, "Well she told you, my best friend and one of the many men she had an affair with while with me. I mean if that isn't poetic I don't know what is. I thought you two needed to be going, all that working isn't going to get it's self done." House said without emotion.

Cuddy looked down at him with a frown, "You still haven't eaten."

House rolled his eyes, "Surprisingly my tiny brain has learned how to use this device we have called a phone. I think I can manage to get something on my own mommy, wouldn't want you to have to buy me a meal. By the way, who told you about me and Stacy?"

Cuddy sighed, "Martha," she said with a frown.

"Of course, I should have thought of her first." House said with a grimace.

Cuddy walked over to House and leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead, "I'll stop by later."

House frowned looking up at her. "Really a Yankee dime is all I get?"

Cuddy gave him an odd look, "What's a Yankee dime?"

House gave her a duh look, "A kiss on the forehead, that's what my Oma always called them."

Cuddy smiled down at him, "Well you no called, no showed at work and you didn't eat at all yesterday, I'm not sure if you deserve anything more."

House ran his hand up Cuddy's calf muscle. "And if you were my boss or my mom I could see why that should concern you." He said with a smile and tickled behind her knee cap causing her to loose her balance, so he pulled her down to his lap.

Cuddy was now sitting on his lap and looked up at him, "I could have hurt myself."

"I had you," He said pulling her closer to him.

Cuddy put her hand over his mouth so he couldn't kiss her and pushed him back, "You weren't sure," She said as they pushed and pulled at each other in a very kid like manner. And suddenly Cuddy squealed and hopped slightly. "Don't you dare do that to me again!" Cuddy said with narrowed eyes.

House had a huge smirk covering his face as his hands tapped softly on her ribs, "There is no need for me to resort to tickling as long as I get a decent kiss."

Cuddy gave him a cautious look, "I don't trust you," she said watching him.

"You trusted me last night." he countered.

"Last night you hadn't just tickled me," she reminded him.

House looked at her lips, "Baby steps," he said leaning closer.

Cuddy sighed, "Fine," she said in defeat.

House kissed her with need, and she returned that need in her kiss. His hands left her side to tangle in her hair as he started to lose himself in the kiss.

Cuddy finally pulled away to breath and smiled at him, then started tickling him.

House laughed as he fought to get a hold of her hands and trapped them behind her back holding her to him. "You are evil," he said with and evil grin and started kissing her neck gently scratching her neck with his scruff at the same time.

Cuddy closed her eyes and swallowed, "Greg," she said with want, "I have to go."

House continued his exploration to her ear, "You sure I can't convince you to say," he whispered in her ear.

Cuddy opened her eyes and licked her lips and then turned her head to look at him, "I really can't," she said with truthful eyes.

"Okay," House said with defeat, "But if you try to tickle me when I let you go, I'm going to have to give you a spanking young lady."

Cuddy smiled, "Oh, I wouldn't want that." She said in a husky voice.

House grinned and let go of her hands.

Cuddy got up and looked to Wilson who had his back to them, "I'm ready," she said to him and he looked around.

"Great," Wilson said then looked back down at House, "promise me you will eat something."

House rolled his eyes, "I swear it's like everyone is my mother. I'll eat, okay, but would you try and not tell her everything I've ever told you between now and the ride back." He asked with narrowed eyes on Wilson.

Wilson sighed, "I'll do my best."

With that they started to leave, "Bye Snookums," House said watching Cuddy.

Cuddy looked back at him, "You know if you keep talking to Wilson like that I'm going to get jealous."

House chuckled, "It's hard to break habits, I mean look at how cute he is with those dark brown eyes."

Cuddy looked Wilson over, "Hmm, you're right, maybe I'm with the wrong guy."

House smiled, "Better watch out he's a heart-breaker."

Cuddy acted like she was thinking about it, "I guess I better stick with the asshole I'm with now," she said with a sigh.

House laughed and they left.


	21. Chapter 21: Every guys fantasy right?

It was six thirty before Cuddy was able to make it back over to House's place. She knocked on the door and when she didn't hear anything she decided to just let herself in. She looked around and noticed the empty foam containers of Vietnamese food that littered the coffee table. Cuddy smiled and went to the bed room where she found him spread eagle on the bed in his underwear. She thought of all the fun she could have with him and then a plan formed in her head.

House groaned as he felt something rub up against his groin. He started to use his hand to readjust himself and opened his eyes when he felt they were restrained. He looked his right hand and could see it was tied to the bed then he felt panic rise when he looked over and saw that the left one was tied down too. House looked around and notice that the light was on in the room and Cuddy was standing at the side of the bed in only a lacy black bra and matching thong. He looked down at himself he was only wearing his underwear and both of his legs were also tied down.

Cuddy was very impressed with herself and ran a hand up the inside of his right leg seductively. "Look who finally woke up?" She said.

House looked at her with cold eyes, "Untie me now," He said as the smell of piss, shit, vomit and rotten food burned his nose.

Cuddy smiled at him, "I haven't had my way with you yet," she said rubbing his crotch.

House closed his eyes and felt sick from the images that flooded his mind of the men that had tortured him for months at a time, "I'm telling you to let me go right now." He said louder.

Cuddy looked at him irritation, "Come on House at least give it a try, you might like it," she said climbing on top of the bed.

House's muscles tightened ready for the pain that was sure to come from as it always had when he had been restrained. He had to get out of this quick was his only thought as he could hear his heart beating in his ears. "Lisa I'm telling you one last time, you have a minute to untie me before I break this bed and you owe me a new one." He said.

"Oh my god, I can't believe you are acting this way about this, isn't this every guys fantasy?" She asked rubbing his chest and feeling his muscles tighten underneath her touch.

"Not MINE!" House yelled now with his eyes on hers.

Cuddy got off the bed, "I'm not going to hurt you Greg, I just want to have some control in the bedroom."

House eyed her, "You had all the control yesterday, I didn't tie you down with out you permission, and if you had ever asked me to stop I would have!" House said loudly, "Now you have ten seconds left."

Cuddy looked at him, "I trusted you, why can't you trust me?"

House closed his eyes and grabbed the sides of the back board of the bed and started yanking back and forth with all the strength that he had.

Cuddy watched him with shock, "House stop it, your going to hurt yourself." She said as she backed away from him seeing him pull harder on the wood.

House finally felt some extra give and yanked the headboard hearing a loud crack, he then pushed it back resulting in more cracking sounds until he was sure that it was broken and then he lifted it above his head. He tilted it and let go of the left side leting it fall to the bed while sliding his right hand down it so that the rope fell off the broken bottom of it freeing him. He soon had freed both hand and pushed the headboard to the floor. House scooted down the bed and untied his legs then got off the bed grabbing his cane and quickly went to the bathroom limping past Cuddy.

He closed and locked the bathroom behind him. He almost instantly vomited as soon as he made it to the toilet. He was breathing heavily while rinsing his mouth and face when he heard Cuddy knock on the door.

"Greg, are you okay?" She asked through the door.

House looked down at his shaky hands and took two oxycodone because his leg was hurting and to hopefully calm his nerves. House pulled the door open and Cuddy lost her balance as she had been leaned against it, but recovered and looked at him.

House stared at the floor, "Please just go," he said and limped past her with his cane.

Cuddy turned to him, "Greg, what's wrong?" she asked not understanding why he had acted the way he had while grabbing a tee shirt of his and putting it on.

House sat down on the bed still trying to calm himself, "Didn't I say to leave?"

Cuddy reached out a hand to reassure him but he pulled back as if she was a snake.

"Don't touch me!" He said loudly looking at her.

Cuddy took in his shakiness, fear of being touched, and ragged breathing. "Are you having a panic attack?" She asked watching him.

House looked away from her trying to calm down, "I'm trying to stop it."

Cuddy swallowed, "I don't understand why you got so worked up."

House's eyes quickly found hers, "How fucking stupid are you? How the hell do you think that they tortured me? You think they just put me in a room by myself. They tied me, chained me, and some even caged me. Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up day after day laying in your own waste tied up naked just wondering what they are going to do to you next."

Cuddy suddenly felt sick as she realized that she had caused him to feel as helpless as the people who had tortured him had. "Greg, that's not what I was trying to do."

House's eyes closed and he hung his head, "I know. I'm sorry I'm not normal. You're right any other guy would have... but I..." He couldn't finish the sentence and swallowed hard.

Cuddy wanted to be close to him, but felt she better play it safe, "Greg can I sit down on the bed beside you?" she asked.

House looked up at her and nodded. "Just promise me you'll never do that again."

Cuddy sat down beside him on the bed, "I promise. I should have thought more about it, or just untied you when you first asked." she said.

"As far as control in the bedroom, how about a golden rule, we will never force or push the other to do something that they are uncomfortable with." House said.

Cuddy smiled back, "I think that's a good idea." She said, "I guess I'll go first. I'm not comfortable with anal or any kind of hitting."

House nodded, "I'm also not comfortable with anal, being restrained in any way, blow jobs, or being on the bottom."

Cuddy looked at him with questioning eyes, "I understand the first two, but why aren't you comfortable with the last two?"

House eyes narrowed slightly, "I didn't question yours," he said and then looked away. "There are also somethings I can't do because of my leg. I can't have sex standing up, or laying on my right side, and I would prefer to have my leg covered during sex." House said now rubbing his hand over the scar.

Cuddy looked at him then his hand, "Greg it doesn't bother me."

House looked up, "It bothers me."

"Is that why you don't feel comfortable with blow jobs?" She asked.

House looked at her with warning eyes, "I told you what I was uncomfortable with and couldn't do. I don't feel the need to explain any farther, so just leave it alone, unless there is something that I listed that you just can't live with out and if that's the case then let me know and we can end this now."

Cuddy bit her lip and thought about what he was saying, "So you're saying there is no room from compromise when it comes to you."

House let out a sigh, "Not when it comes to this kind of stuff and I wouldn't want you to compromise feeling comfortable in the bedroom for me either."

Cuddy nodded, "Okay, then maybe we should talk about some things that are more important."

House looked down at the headboard, "You mean like what kind of bed I would like you to buy?"

Cuddy narrowed her eyes slightly, "I was thinking more along the lines of how you feel about children."

House shrugged, "As long as they can build a solid bed I'm fine with something overseas."

Cuddy poked him in his ribs with her elbow, "Greg, I'm serious."

House cocked an eyebrow, "Me too, I'd like to have a bed that isn't broken."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have broken it." Cuddy said back.

"If you had untied me I wouldn't have," House snipped back.

Cuddy sighed, "Fine I'll buy you a new bed this weekend. Now how do you feel about kids?"

House looked down at the floor, "I thought we were going to give this a couple of weeks and then see how things were going."

Cuddy held his hand, "We are but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't discuss anything important. If you don't want anything to do with kids, I'd like to know now, so I don't get attached to the idea of this having a future."

House looked up at her with a worried expression, "I've never thought about children. Stacy... never mentioned wanting them or not, I'm guessing she didn't otherwise she wouldn't have had abortions. It could work since you would make all the rules since she's your kid."

Cuddy looked at him with confusion, "Greg, if this went the long run, she wouldn't just be my kid, she would be ours. I would expect you to treat her like you would your own child."

House's face troubled, "How am I suppose to treat her like my own child when I have no idea what it's like to have a child. Don't worry thought I wouldn't treat her like the bastard she is."

Cuddy looked at him with controlled anger, "Don't ever call her that again," she said seriously.

House rolled his eyes, "Why? That's what she is, a bastard is a child who the father walks out on or shows no interest in being involved with, usually to an unwed or already spoken for women. Sorry but that is what she is."

Cuddy eyes were fixed on his, "You son of a bitch, it isn't her fault what her situation was."

House looked at her with irritation, "I never said it was, it wasn't mine either, but that doesn't make it any less true."

"Your father was there for you, he didn't run out on you and your mother. You don't give a crap how hurtful your words are. If I ever hear you call her that again we are through, you understand me." Cuddy said now grabbing her cloths to get dressed.

"It's not like I said it to her, or like she would even understand the term at this point. And if by father you are speaking of the man I was raised by and told was my biological father my whole life then yes he was there, but if you're speaking about my biological father then me and her are in the same boat." House said looking her straight in the eyes.

Cuddy threw off his tee shirt and started getting back in her own clothes. "I don't give a fuck what your daddy issues are House, no one talks about my child like that."

House watched her, "Oh quit over reacting," he said and grabbed her arm as she was trying to button her shirt with her back to him.

Cuddy whirled around and slapped him hard across the face, "Let go of me House!" she yelled.

House looked at her with wide eye and let her arm loosely fall from his hands.

Cuddy swallowed as she waited for him to scream at her or do something, but he just stared at her with wide blue eyes. The silence and stillness of the room made Cuddy feel anxious so she stepped back and continued getting dressed not looking at House.

When Cuddy was finally dressed completely she looked up at House who was looking away from her with the same expression he had when she had hit him, she looked down and noticed he had pulled the covers over his leg. Cuddy felt slightly bad, but was so mad still by what he had said that she felt it was best to just go, "I'll see you at work tomorrow," she said watching him waiting for him to respond, but he acted as if he hadn't heard her just staring off. Cuddy licked her lips wanting to say more, but feeling that it was best that they both have there space she turned and stepped over the broken headboard and left.


	22. Chapter 22: You Hit Him

Cuddy woke up startled and took a sip of cold water to calm down from her dream.

_Cuddy was standing in her kitchen looking around, everything looked like a black and white movie and even though she was in her home the appliances were old and dated as well as her cloths. Cuddy walked into the living room and looked at the photos that lined the wall. She smiled at one of her in a wedding gown standing next to Wilson who was in a tux. Then looked at the next one that was of a baby and studied it, because even thought the photo was black and white like everything else the baby's eyes were a stunning blue. She looked farther seeing one of her and Wilson with a young boy standing between them with the same blue eyes. _

_Cuddy turned as she heard the front door open and saw the same boy come in now about eight years old with muddy shoes and hands. "Young man, how many times have I told you not to track mud in the house. Now you turn right back around and clean up before you come in."_

_The boy looked at her with blue eyes, "I don't want to."_

"_Greg, I'm your mother, and I said to wash up outside." Cuddy said with her hands on her hips._

_The boy smiled and ran around her wiping his hands on her dress as she tried to catch him. _

"_Stop it right now!" She yelled and watched the boy stop with a smirk on his face. "Why do you act that way, I've taught you better and so has your father."_

"_My real parents would let me play in the house with mud." The boy countered._

_Cuddy's jaw dropped a little, "Just because we adopted you doesn't mean that we aren't your parents."_

_The young boys jaw tightened and his eyes narrowed, "Biologically you aren't my parents, and that means you shouldn't get to tell me what to do Lisa."_

_Cuddy grabbed the boy's arm, "You don't get to call me Lisa, I'm the only mother you have like it or not, and you will do what I say."_

"_Wow, you really are a bitch..." The boy stopped his sentence when she slapped him across the face._

_Cuddy's hand was stinging from the hit and she looked down at the young boy. He stared at her with wide blue eyes that seemed to ask why would you hit me. She swallowed and heard a door from the hall open. _

"_Honey, is he giving you problems again." Wilson asked dressed in a press military uniform._

_Cuddy shook her head, "I don't understand what's wrong with him, he just doesn't seem to be able to behave."_

_Wilson walked over and looked at the mess the boy had made. "Greg, did you do this."_

_The boy straightened and looked down with his jaw still stiff he answered, "Yes sir."_

_Wilson put his arm on the boy's shoulder. "I'm sorry Dear, I guess I'm going to have to have another talk with him." he said with a smile while tightening his grip on the boy's shoulder._

_She looked down at the boy and could see him swallow, "You're just going to talk to him right?" she asked._

_Wilson smiled warmly, "Don't worry about it Sweetie, when I'm done he will learn to respect his parents."_

_Cuddy watched as Wilson picked the boy up and the boy looked over Wilson's shoulder at her with angry blue eyes, "Good thing you failed to become a mother, because you suck at it." he screamed._

_Cuddy felt tears running down her face and watched as Wilson walked in a room and shut the door. She ran to the door and tried to open it but found it was locked so she put her ear up to the door. She could hear thrashing around and things being broken. She stepped back from the door and could see it shake as the noise got louder. _

_After a couple of minutes the door went still and everything was quite. Wilson walked out wiping his hands with a rag, "He's getting so much better about taking his punishment, who knows maybe there is hope for him yet." he said and smiled warmly at her giving her a kiss on the cheek and walking back to the study he had come from._

_Cuddy looked at the door that the boy was in and pushed it open. She looked around and the only color in the room was the red of blood that was on the floor. Cuddy followed the drops of blood and found the boy rocking back and forth hugging his legs with his head down. She took in the torn clothing and then noticed the that his right pant leg was soaked in blood, "Greg, baby are you okay?" she asked, but he didn't answer. Cuddy leaned down and could hear him whispering, "I'll be a good boy." She felt sick, "Greg please look at me." she asked and watched as he moved his head slowly looking for his bright blue eyes, but instead there was nothing but black hallow spaces where his eyes had been._

Cuddy took another sip of water and closed her eyes, still seeing those blue eyes on her. She opened up her eyes and sighed deeply getting up to check on the baby and get ready.

It was 7:28am when House checked in at the Hospital. He looked over with relief at Cuddy's office when he noticed she wasn't there yet and made his way to his office where he went over the work his team did yesterday on their new patient.

It was five minutes till eight when Wilson sat down at his desk only to notice that across the balcony he could see House. Wilson looked at the clock again and knew something was wrong, so he decided to go and see what it was.

"So you are capable of getting up before nine, it's a miracle." Wilson said in a joking tone.

House shrugged and looked up at him with dark circles, "It doesn't really count as getting up when you never went to bed."

Wilson walked in and sat down across from House and noticed a new light bruise on his right cheek. "What happened to keep you up all night?"

House looked down, "Nothing that I hadn't already predicted. I said something stupid, now Cuddy is going to break up with me, and pretty soon I'll be fired." he said rubbing the back of his neck.

"What did you say?" Wilson said looking at him.

House looked back up and sighed, "I referred to Rachel as a bastard."

Wilson looked at House with confusion, "And why would you do that?"

House sighed looking back down, "She was asking me how I feel about kids, about Rachel. I told her I wouldn't treat Rachel like the bastard she is, I meant for it to be reassuring."

"Well surprisingly mothers don't like it when you call there children bastards." Wilson said in a condescending way.

House glanced back up, "Well technically that is what she is and I am. I was just trying to let her know I wouldn't treat her worse because of it, that I wouldn't treat Rachel the way my dad treated me."

Wilson was astonished, "So you're considering being involved in Rachel's life?"

House looked back down, "I don't think it really matters anymore, I'm pretty sure Cuddy is going to break up with me today."

"What makes you so sure?" Wilson asked glancing at the new bruise suspiciously.

House didn't notice because he still was looking down, "She yelled and then..." House thought about it and decided Wilson didn't need to know everything, "she just left."

House's pause worried Wilson, "Really? Then how did you get the bruise?"

House tilted his head and shrugged, "Went to the bar, got drunk, and then got into a fight," he said rubbing his forehead.

Wilson knew House was lying the moment he tilted his head, it was something he would always do when he had questioned the bruises Stacy left, and the fact that House hadn't looked up let him know that House felt ashamed about it. Wilson could feel his blood boiling at the thought of Cuddy hitting him. "Well, I've got an appointment to make, but I'll stop back by when I'm done."

House still didn't look up, "Maybe we can have lunch together, I don't think she'll do it in front of you."

Wilson smiled, "Sounds like a plan," he said walking out of House's office and headed straight for Cuddy's.

Cuddy had just sat down when she was startled by her door being jerked open, and seeing Wilson for once instead of House.

"You hit him." Wilson said as soon as he had opened the door. He closed the door behind him and closed the distance between the door and the desk where he put his hands flat on the desk and looked down at her. "You promised me that you would never hit him."

Cuddy looked down, "I'm guessing he went crying to you about it."

Wilson glared down at her, "No, I wish he had because then I would at least know he wasn't blaming himself for it. No, don't worry Cuddy he was a good little boy and told me he got into a fight at a bar, he's got your back."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on Wilson, "I didn't tell him to lie about it because I didn't do anything wrong, he called my child a bastard and then when I told him not to he tried to explain how she was a bastard. I'm not going to let anyone talk about my child that way, at least slapping him shut him up."

Wilson stepped back, "Well great Cuddy, I'm glad you found the secret. Now we can all just hit him when he says stuff that pisses us off. That will keep him in his place, I mean who does he think he is saying things that upset people, for every cutting word we'll just hit him back down. Who cares if he doesn't ever trust anyone again or begins to get so depressed he ends up killing himself, the world is better off with out him right?"

Cuddy closed her eyes, "This was beyond pissing me off, he... he.."

Wilson cut her off, "Oh no, you don't! Look me straight in the eyes and tell me he deserved it. Tell me how his words hurt you more that anything you've ever done to him! Tell me how it's worse than his intolerable leg pain that threatens to take his life, or than you letting someone publicly humiliate him because they have paid in enough money! I want to hear about how you feel good about hitting a man who came to your aid when someone hit you because of what you had said!" Wilson stopped to catch his breath and keep control of his anger.

Cuddy had never heard Wilson this upset with anyone, especially her. She didn't even try to stop the tears that ran down her face, everything he had said was true. "You're right about all of it." Cuddy wiped some tears off her face, "I shouldn't have hit him, I even had a nightmare about it last night."

A part of Wilson wanted to comfort her, but he wasn't here for her today, he was here to stand up for House. "Well I'm glad you were actually able to get to sleep last night because House wasn't."

Cuddy looked up at him with sorrowful eyes, "I gave him a panic attack last night. I didn't mean to, I really didn't."

Wilson looked at her with worry, "What do you mean you gave him a panic attack?"

Cuddy looked down and wiped her face again. "I went over to check on him last night, and I found him just spread across the bed asleep. I... I tied him up. I thought he would like it, that it could be fun, but he was furious and told me to untie him. I didn't because I wanted him to give it a shot, so he broke off the headboard."

Wilson looked at her dumbfounded, "What were you thinking? You had to have done a psych rotation, you know stress can cause flashbacks."

Cuddy sniffled, "He said that they use to tie him up when they tortured him; that he would wake up tied down naked and laying in his own waste wondering what they were going to do next. I never even thought about them tying him up or I never would have done it. I made him feel as helpless as they did."

"He didn't tell you to leave after you did that?" Wilson demanded.

Cuddy swallowed, "He did but..."

Wilson cut her off, "But what? You had just made him relive one of the worst things that has ever happened to him and you decided that even thought he was asking for his space, he didn't deserve that either?"

Cuddy shook her head, "I couldn't leave him like that he was shaky and not breathing correctly, he was scared. I could see it in his eyes, I wanted to make things right."

Wilson sighed, "And you really thought that after something like that, was the the best time to talk to him about children?"

Cuddy leaned back in her chair, and pushed her hair out of her face, "You know how House is, he seems fine after a couple of minutes, and sometimes I forget it's just a facade."

Wilson threw his hands up in the air, "Listen I don't care about excuses from you or apologies. House is the one that deserves those, but if you ever hit him again, we're both gone. I'm not talking about we wont be your friends, I mean I'll get him to leave and we will go to another Hospital. You understand?" Wilson said as he made his way to the door.

Cuddy could tell he was serious and she nodded in a stunned silence and watched as he walked out the door. She couldn't believe that of all the people, Wilson, had just put her in her place. Cuddy sighed and looked at her schedule which was full until two in the after noon, and hoped that she would think of the right words to say to House by then.


	23. Chapter 23: Tricks and Treats

Foreman walked into the DDX room to find Thirteen, Kutner, and Taulb sitting at the main table looking over at the corner desk. He looked to find House sleeping at the desk, and shook his head, "None of you have woken him up yet, what do you plan on doing watching him sleep the whole day?"

Kutner looked at Foreman with a cocked eyebrow, "We have been trying to decide how we should wake him up, but we are all tied. Want to be the tie breaker?" He said with a mischievous grin.

Foreman sat down ready to hear their ideas.

Twenty minutes later they had decided to go with a combination of ideas. Taulb stood over House with a large foam cup of cold water and poured it on him in one quick turn of his wrist.

House woke up with a gasp from the cold water that soaked into his shirt and dripped down his face. His eyes scanned the room to see all of his team watching him with smiles. House glared at them, "Cold water? I go through weeks of dwindling out the best and most unique Doctors and all you can come up with is cold water?" He said and tried to get up. House looked down and pulled on his pants to find that they had been super glued to the chair, so he tried rolling the chair only to find that the wheels had been locked. House looked at smugness on their faces. "Let me guess, Taulb idea was the water, Kutner's was the super glue, and Thirteen was smart enough to think about locking the wheels on the chair."

Foreman laughed, "Actually Taulb had wanted to pour hot coffee on you, but I didn't want to have to worry about the stains."

House smiled at them, "Alright, you got me, now someone better unlock these wheels before I start firing people." He said as he scanned the desk and notice that everything had been removed that could aid his escape or be used to throw at them.

Kutner rocked on his feet, "Well that might be a problem since the wheels got some super glue on them."

House rolled his eyes, "You morons! I hope you are all ready to shell out for a new chair."

They looked around at each other with satisfied looks, "Two dollars for superglue, cup of water for free, thirty dollars each for a new chair, playing a prank on your asshole of a boss... priceless" Taulb said with a smile.

"Did any of you think about how I'm suppose to get out of this during all your brilliance?" House asked sarcastically.

Thirteen looked slightly worried but the rest of them seemed to still be amused, "You're the genius, I'm sure you can think of something." Foreman said with a smile.

House looked down, he knew that the only way to get out of this was to take off the pants, but the last thing he wanted was for them to see his leg and he didn't have any other pants to put on. "Did one of you at least think to grab me a pair of pants."

Kutner unzipped his bag and took a pair of jogging pants out and put them on the table. House looked up at the pants and sighed, "Well you all might want to leave for this, I went commando." House said and then smiled at them.

Kutner shook his head, "No you didn't, I saw your underwear when I was super gluing you." Everyone was suddenly looking at Kutner with questioning eyes. "His shirt was raised, it's not like I went looking I just happened to notice." He said crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture.

House put his fists down on the desk, "Let me put this into terms you can all understand. Get the fuck out or you will all be fired!" He said loudly looking at them with warning eyes.

Foreman cocked an eyebrow, "Cuddy isn't going to let you fire a team that took you forever to find."

House's eyes board into Foreman's, "You're right, so I guess I'll have to start with your girlfriend."

Foreman studied House then shrugged, "Alright fire her."

House looked at him confused and then looked up at Thirteen, "Are you just going to let him sail you down the river like that?" he asked.

Thirteen sighed, "It's not like we didn't know you were going to fire one of us sooner or later for the relationship, so why not now."

House looked her in the eyes, "Fine, your fired now get the hell out." he barked at her.

Thirteen pulled out one of the chairs and sat down. "You aren't my boss anymore, so I don't have to do what you say, I think I'll just stay and watch."

House sighed knowing that right now there was nothing he could do and unbuttoned his belt then unzipped his pants. He grabbed the armrests of the chair and tried to pull himself out of the pants. Then stopped and toed off his shoes and tried again as he leaned back trying to wiggle out of the pants, after a couple of minutes House stopped, breathing deeply. "I'm going to need some scissors," he said looking at the pants.

Thirteen slid a pair toward him on the desk. House looked at them and then her and nodded solemnly. He looked down and grimaced at the feel of the scissors against his skin and started trying to cut through the thick jeans on his left side, after a couple of minutes he had worked his way down to the knee. House looked over at the right side and sighed as he started to cut through the pants. They were all watching with smiles until they saw the scar. Thirteen blinked and looked away towards Foreman, who's face had a concerned expression. Taulb frowned at it while studying it, wonder how he might be able to make it look better. "How much muscle did you loose?" Kutner asked with wide eyes.

House continued cutting the jeans, and tried to ignore them. When he was done cutting he rubbed the scar and closed his eyes.

They all watched this and Thirteen gave Foreman a small push, "If you had told me it was this bad I wouldn't have done this." She whispered.

"I didn't know," Foreman said looking at her honestly.

House grabbed the armrest again and worked his calf's out of the rest of the legs. Then put out a hand still refusing to look up.

Taulb put the cane in his hand. House used it to stand up and then finally met all of there eyes, "You get a good look?" He asked bitterly.

Taulb frowned more, Thirteen refused to look any where near him, Kutner still looked interested, "How much muscle did they remove?" he asked seriously. Foreman looked at Kutner as if he was crazy, "Dude, really this isn't the time."

"Why not?" House said loudly, "At least he's thinking like a Doctor seeing me as a patient instead of a pathetic cripple like the rest of you!" House sighed, "They took out almost five pounds of dead muscle tissue. Now will you hand me the pants."

Kutner looked at him with disbelief, "That's not possible, you wouldn't be able to walk... you shouldn't be able to walk."

Taulb handed House the jogging pants. House sat down to put them on, "Well then that means that either I was a miracle or your missing something." He said as he stood up and pulled the pants up which hung slightly low on his thin frame.

"You don't eat right," Kutner said looking at the pants.

House cocked and eyebrow at him, "And what would that have to do with my leg?"

Kutner looked at him in thought, "It proves it hurts, loss of appetite is one of the most common side effects of pain along with nausea."

"A lot of pain medication has the same side effects," Foreman said contradicting Kutner.

"He's missing five pounds of muscle from his leg, it doesn't matter how much vicodin he takes, he's still going to be in pain moving on it." Kutner seemed lost in the thought and then looked back up at House, "What kind of test where you having run Monday?"

House looked away, "A test that is none of your business."

Thirteen answered, "He had a pain test.. Wilson was talking about how House conned him into it."

"Really?," Kutner said looking at House, "So what were the results?" he asked seriously.

House licked his lips, "Alright just stop it okay! It's none of your business, I'm not your patient, this girl is," House said picking up the file. "How about we find out what's wrong with her before she dies."

It was 11:36 when House walked into Wilson's office. Wilson was speaking to a patient and gave him a look that said to go away. House just continued on in and the elderly lady watched as he slowly limped in and then then fell into the couch with a thud.

"House, I'm busy right now, just go back to your office and I'll come over when I'm done." Wilson said looking at House.

House pulled his right leg up on the couch as he laid out on it, "Can't," he said tiredly, "they made me take off my pants last time." He mumbled as he turned his face into the couch.

"Did he say that they made him take off his pants?" the elderly woman asked Wilson.

Wilson looked at House and noticed the jogging pants then looked back at his patient, "Apparently so, anyway like I was saying the treatment has a 85% success rate, so I think you'll do well on it. Just remember that I'm here for you and that we can beat this."

The lady smiled at Wilson, "Thank you so much Dr. Wilson, I don't know what I would have done with out you." she said and stood up, shook his hand, and left.

Wilson stood up after she had closed the door and walked over to the couch looking down at House. "What happened to your pants House?" he asked.

House turned his head to look at Wilson, "I fell asleep in my chair, so my team decided to have some fun with me."

"What did they do?" Wilson asked.

House sighed, "Sadly nothing really original, they poured water on me, glued my pants to the chair, and then glued and locked the wheels of the chair."

Wilson tried not to laugh, "It might not have been original but I bet it was funny."

House narrowed his eyes, "Yeah it was hilarious."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "House this sounds like a prank you would pull, so why are you so mad about it?"

"First of all I would have been more original, and I would have left when they had to cut off their pants." House said with irritation rubbing his thigh.

Wilson looked at him with concern, "So they saw..."

House cut him off, "Can we get something to eat now, I'm starving?" House said sitting up on the couch.

Wilson looked at him, "How did it make you feel House?"

House closed his eyes, "It made me feel hungry! Now can we get something to eat?"

"Yeah just let me grab my coat," Wilson said.

House gave Wilson a suspicious look as he parked in front of Sonny's BBQ. "Why are we here?"

Wilson shrugged, "I thought you liked this place."

"I do," he said, "But you hate barbeque, so why are we here?" House asked watching him.

Wilson looked at House, "I thought I'd do something nice, since last night didn't go well, and this morning, but if you're so worried about me I can take us to the new Greek restaurant I've been wanting to try out."

House grimaced as the idea of the Greek restaurant, "Nope this is fine," he said quickly getting out of the car.

Wilson smiled at House's quickness and followed him. Soon they were sitting down at a old table with squeaky chairs and Wilson was looking at the massive amount of food House had managed to put on his tray. He had two sausage links, half a rack of ribs, sliced brisket, chopped pork, and a chicken thigh with a side of greens, bowl of beans, two pieces of cornbread, and bowl of peach cobbler for dessert.

"You are going to have a heart attack before you finish that plate." Wilson stated.

House smiled, "Good thing I brought a Doctor with me." he said and started in on the food.

Wilson picked at his plate and watched as House kept shoveling in meat.

"Mmmm," House voiced as he started into the ribs. "How do you not like ribs?" he asked looking over at Wilson.

Wilson looked at them with disinterest, "I just don't care for them. So what all happened last night with you and Cuddy?"

House stared at the meat and took another bite, "I said something stupid, and pissed her off and then she left. That's pretty much it." he said taking another bite.

Wilson took a few bites of his food as well, "I get that, it's just even you aren't usually stupid enough to go that far unless you're in a bad mood."

House's brow lowered, "I wasn't in the best of moods when we talked bout it, come to think of it I was actually pretty..." House paused and looked up at him, "let's just say I was in a bad mood."

"Oh," Wilson said and took another bite of food.

House watched Wilson with confusion, "You aren't going to ask me why I was in a bad mood?" he asked surprised that Wilson had just left it at that.

Wilson looked back up at him, "I figure you'd have told me if you wanted to."

House started eating again but after two minutes of silence he stopped, "She kind of freaked me out a little bit last night." He said and looked at Wilson.

"Because of the whole kids conversation you mean?" Wilson asked casually then ate some mac and cheese.

House sighed, "No before all of that," he said and took a couple more bites of food. House looked up and Wilson who was eating his food with out a care in the world. "She tied me up when I was asleep." he said watching him.

Wilson looked up with a cocked eyebrow, "I told you to keep and eye out for her, I guess she decided to take measures in her own hands."

House shrugged and looked back down at his food, "I had a panic attack."

Wilson sighed, "You mean because of when you were... in the Marines." he had been about said tortured when he thought better of it.

House swallowed hard, "Yeah, I know she was just trying to have some fun, but.." House took a deep breath, "I could smell the same smells I did when I was captured, and I could see them watching me..." House closed his eyes. "It felt so real."

Wilson looked at House with worry, "So did you tell her to untie you?" he asked.

"Yes, I told her to untie me and she wouldn't," House said aggravated, "It felt like she was trying to control me just like they had... so I broke the headboard and untied myself." he said. "I haven't felt like that in twenty four years. I couldn't have been tied up for more than twenty minutes but it felt like forever, I got so upset it made me sick." House took a couple of bites of his food, "I wish she would have just left after that when I asked her too, then this stupid fight never would have happened."

Wilson gave House a reassuring half smile, "Hey who knows, maybe this isn't the end of it. I mean to me it sounds like you both had some misunderstandings."

House scoffed, "You didn't see her, I pushed her over the line. I was afraid that this would end with her hating me, and now it has." He said and started eating again.

Wilson knew that nothing he said would change House's mind, and hoped that Cuddy would fix this when she talked to him.

It was 2:25 when Cuddy had finally gotten a break and decided to go looking for House. She checked out his usual hiding spots but couldn't find him so she decided to check his office, but he wasn't there either. Cuddy looked over at Wilson's office, she really didn't want to have to ask him after the conversation this morning but she knew that if anyone would know where House was it would be him.

Cuddy knocked on the door.

Wilson looked up at the door, "Come in, it's open." He said and was surprised to see Cuddy. "Hello Dr. Cuddy, what can I do for you?" He asked in a very professional manner.

Cuddy smiled awkwardly as she scanned his office. "I was just looking for House and wanted to know if you've seen him."

Wilson sighed, "Well considering he's trying to hide from you and his team I would try the morgue."

Cuddy looked at him with worry, "Why would he be hiding from his team?" she asked.

Wilson still was peeved at her, "Probably because they gave him a little of his own medicine." he said and then looked back at his paper work.

Cuddy's face became more concerned as she looked at Wilson, "What do you mean?"

Wilson looked back up at her, "They played a prank on House and it didn't end well."

Cuddy was getting irritated by Wilson, "I get it, I hurt him and I'm sorry for that. Now you can either tell me what happened and where he is, or I can leave and comb this Hospital room by room until I find him."

Wilson looked like he was in thought and decided to just tell Cuddy. "They found him asleep, so they super glued his pants to the chair and poured water on him. He ended up having to cut his pants off to get out and they refused to leave the room, so they saw his leg." He said watching Cuddy as she thought about what he was saying.

Cuddy sighed, "Do you have any idea where he might be besides the morgue, I already tried there."

Wilson blinked as he thought about it, "Well he'd probably somewhere you would think to check, so I'd try any empty rooms in the womens and ped's wing."

Cuddy nodded, "Thanks Wilson," she said as she started to leave.

"Wait," Wilson said and waited for her to look back at him before continuing. "We should talk."

Cuddy walked back over and sat down in the chair across from Wilson.

"I'm sorry for loosing my temper this morning, I'm not sorry for what I said, but I shouldn't have yelled." Wilson said looking down, "I know how hard it is just being his friend, I can't imagine how hard it must be to be in a relationship with him."

Cuddy was surprised by the apology, "You don't have anything to be sorry for Wilson, you were just trying to look out for him, and I needed to hear what you had to say."

Wilson looked back up at her, "You have no idea the amount of times I've wanted to just punch the shit out of him. I mean I've never met someone who could make you so mad, but then I remember how he would lie about the bruises and look so ashamed. And there is a part of me that knows if I ever hit him, he wouldn't hit me back."

Cuddy frowned, "It's not like I thought before I did it, I had turned around to leave and he grabbed my elbow and I just did it," she swallowed, "but Wilson I will never forget the way he looked at me. His eyes looked like a child's eyes, like he couldn't understand why I would hit him. He didn't yell or say anything he just kept looking at me. I'm afraid he'll never trust me again." She said looking at Wilson with troubled eyes.

Wilson couldn't help but feel sorry for her, "He will, it may take some time, but he will. Like I said once he's let you in, it hard for him to let go."

Cuddy stood up, "I better get started looking for him."

"Good luck," Wilson said and looked back down at this paper work.

"He's lucky you know, to have a friend like you." Cuddy said as she got to the door.

Wilson smiled warmly, "He's a good friend to have."

Cuddy smiled and left to go find House. It took her most of an hour before she found him asleep in one of the empty patients room in the woman's wing. Cuddy looked at him and felt a sting of guilt when she notice the light bruise she had left on his right cheek. She locked the door so that no one would interrupt their talk. "Greg," she said hoping to wake him up, and when that didn't work she walked over to him and gave him a gentle shake on his chest, "Greg, we need to talk."

House started to wake up and she stepped back. House looked around and then looked at her and got out of the bed using his cane for support. "Well I guess you found me, we might as well get this over with," He said staring down at her.

Cuddy looked up at him with sad eyes, "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hit you."

House blinked at her with surprise and confusion, "I deserved it, I hurt you," House shook his head as he tried to wrap his mind around the idea of what she was saying, "You shouldn't be apologizing to me."

Cuddy searched his eyes and his honest confusion worried her. "Greg sit down okay."

House looked at her even more confused but sat down on the side of the bed.

She stood in front of him and was right at eye level and slowly lifted her hands to his face and noticed that he watched them but didn't move away from her. When she finally glided her hands softly against the stubble on his cheeks she notice him swallow and look down. "Greg look at me," she said in a begging tone.

House looked back up at her still confused.

Cuddy frowned, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have hit you."

House looked conflicted, "But I said... I hurt you," he said and swallowed again.

"No Greg, you upset me," she said and swallowed, "I'm the one that hurt you."

House blinked, "But I deserved it."

Cuddy could tell he truly believed what he was saying and closed her eyes and tilted her head up in as if to ask God for help, then she looked him back in the eyes, "You don't deserve to be hurt every time you upset someone Greg. No one deserves that."

House looked at her as if she had just told him to believe in the Easter bunny.

Cuddy stroked his cheeks with her thumb, "Has no one ever apologized to you for hitting you?" she asked.

House pulled back and closed his eyes. The way she had asked the question was like it was such a normal occurrence to most people and he felt ashamed he didn't know what to do.

Her eyes widened as she watched him struggle to speak.

"I... I always... deserve it," He said with his eyes still close and his face turned away from her.

Cuddy could feel her eyes tear up and reached a shaky hand for him, but stopped mid way, and took a deep breath. She knew if he could tell how much he had unnerved her by what he had said that he would only pull farther away. After a minute she thought she was calm enough and reached a hand out to his face. She could feel the tightness in his jaw. "You don't deserve to be hit Greg," she said softly.

House turned his face to her again and opened his eyes, "Why are you doing this? You know I'm a bad person, why are you being this way to me Lisa?" he questioned as he searched her eyes.

Cuddy took a step closer and was now standing between his legs while her hands pulled his face to hers. Her lips were almost to his, when she heard him whisper, "Lisa, I don't deserve this." She leaned closer and kissed him softly on the lips but he didn't respond so she continued kissing him and then started going down his neck.

House didn't know what he should do, part of him felt like he still deserved to be punished, but it felt so good. When he felt her sucking on his neck he turned to her and pulled her to him in a deep kiss. He wanted her to feel everything he had ever felt for her in that kiss.

Cuddy kissed him back as her hands worked there way under his shirt and scratched his torso.

House pulled away from the kiss breathing heavily and looking at her with questioning eyes.

"I'm never going to hurt you again." She said with honesty in her eyes as she pulled his shirt up and over his head and letting it fall to the floor.

House was feeling so many things he didn't know what to do, it was an overload for him. Cuddy kissed him again and he sat straight pulling her to his body. Somehow it was like her touch just made everything better, and he couldn't get enough of it. His hands were suddenly pulling her shirt up with need. He barely stopped kissing long enough to pull the shirt over her head and his mouth was on her neck kissing and nipping. Then his hands were on her leg pulling her to him as started kissing the tops of her breast.

Cuddy leaned her head back as she felt the heat of his mouth roam over her breast. "Oh Greg," she sighed as her hand raked through his hair encouraging him. His hands slid up under her skirt and squeezed her ass. Cuddy pulled her breasts out of the bra so he could have better access and his mouth started sucking on her right nipple. Then she let her nails scratch gently up and down his back.

"Oohhhh," he groaned as he pulled back and looked her in the eyes. "We... should... probably stop," he said between breaths.

Cuddy smiled at him and stroked his penis through the jogging pants. "I don't want to stop, do you?"

House bit back a moan at her touches and let his right hand rub her heat and could feel that she was wet because of her want for him. His fingers slid under her thongs and rubbed up and down her slit, then he slowly slid a finger in.

Cuddy put her hand on his forarm and moved his hands away from her, and House looked up at her with worry, and she watched him as she lifted her leg and held on to his shoulder to pull herself up to straddle him. He scooted slightly back and she pulled as his elastic waist and slid them down along with his underwear.

House growled with want as her hand wrapped around his hard cock and she positioned her self over him. House swallowed and let his hands move her thong. Everything was silent as they looked into each others eyes and she lowered herself to the head of his penis.

House stopped breathing as he felt the heat of her barely touching him and gasped when she took his head in.

"Grreeggg," she moaned softly as she slowly moved her hips up and down him taking in more of him.

House started kissing her neck groaning against her skin as she moved. He needed to be in control so he picked her up off of him, "Lay on your side," he asked.

Cuddy did as he asked and watched as he laid down beside her and positioned himself at her opening. He pulled her leg up and rested it on his hip then put his hand on her ass and pulled her to him. "Aaahhhh," He groaned softly.

Cuddy gasped, and pulled herself closer to him, "I need you so bad," she whispered in a begging tone in his ear.

House rocked his hips sliding his cock slightly deeper and moved his hands to her waist pulling her to him. "I've always been yours," he said back in a whisper and kissed her softly on the lips.

Cuddy couldn't believe what he had said. She kissed him back eagerly and pulled at his ass, wanting more of him. House pulled at her leg as he pushed himself deeper steadily pulling out slightly and pushing back in.

Cuddy could feel herself getting close, "Greg, you need... to …. slow down... or …. I'm... gonna cum." She said.

House looked at her in the eyes as he quickened slightly, "I want... to make... you cum." He said quietly panting.

"Ohhh... Greg... gotta be …. quite," She tried to explain.

"Bite me," He said moving faster and deeper in her, "Please," he pleaded.

Cuddy moved to where her head was resting against his neck and when she could feel herself about to loose it she bit down on his shoulder hard stifling her moan.

House hissed at the mixture of pain, need, want, and bliss as he pulled her so close it felt like they were one person moving in unison. "That's it, take all of me," He growled through gritted teeth in her ear as he pushed in her completely and grinding himself deep. He pulled out slightly and pushed back in hard as he cam hugging her and biting his lip to keep from crying out because of the release. He grinded against her as he cam into her and when he was done he still held on to her for dear life, she felt his lips barely touching her ear, "Never leave me," he whispered.

Cuddy swallowed the lump in her throat and held him, not knowing what to say she combed her fingers through his hair. They laid like that for a couple of minutes then she started to move so she could get cleaned up and dressed. House stopped her, "I'm sorry," he said quickly, pulling his pants up.

Cuddy turned back and stopped getting off the bed, looking at him with confusion.

"I shouldn't have said... that. I just wanted you to know that, I understand what it's like to grow up in a family that you don't completely feel like you are part of. I wouldn't let her feel that way. I'd try to be better than that." House said quickly looking her in the eyes.

Cuddy smiled as her eyes watered up and moved over to him pulling him in a hug, "Thank you," she said over his shoulder as she let a few tears fall and then laughed. "Only you could mean such a beautiful thing and make it sound so terrible."

House held her, "I'm not good with this kind of stuff," he said softly in her hair.

Cuddy pulled away and looked at him, "You don't have to be perfect at everything. Just try to explain what you mean like you just did."

House looked her in the eye, "It took me all last night to find those words."

Cuddy smiled at him, "It'll get easier," she said as she moved off the bed went to the restroom.

House watched her hoping she was right.

She returned and started putting on her cloths, "I was wondering if you would come to my house tonight and have dinner with Rachel and me."

House started getting dressed as well, "What time?" he asked.

Cuddy smiled as she watched him avoid looking at her while getting dressed. "How does eight sound?"

House looked at his watch noting it was already 4:15 pm. "Alright," he said putting on his shoes that he didn't even remember taking off and standing up with his cane.

Cuddy looked at him curiously, "Did you have other plans?"

"No," House said looking up at her, "I just wanted to make sure I could get in a nap, like I said it literally took me all night to find a better way of saying what I wanted you to understand."

Cuddy walked over to him and straightened his cloths a little. "I heard about what happened this morning with your team."

House tensioned up, "It was nothing," he said and turned to leave.

Cuddy grabbed his arm and he stopped, "I know that you think that this is one of the worse things that could have happened, but I think it might actually be good. You can seem so strong and cold, almost inhuman, maybe this will help them to remember that you actually are human." She said with a half smile to his back.

House's head lowered, "I don't want them to see me as human, then they will never trust me," he said and then left.

Cuddy swallowed thinking about his words.


	24. Chapter 24: When the bodys hit the floor

House got home at 5:11 and took his oxycodone then stripped down to his underwear and fell asleep as soon as hit the bed.

Suddenly he was woken up by a pain radiating from his stomach. He felt dizzy and could smell something sweet. He tried to open his eyes and then something hit his face and that was followed by more hits as he made sure to stay quite. House could fill that his hands and feet were tied down and he listened and could hear men at least two talking and laughing as the hitting went on down his body. He finally was able to get his eyes open and he made out four men, one of them being Corporal Young.

"Alright guys remember, I want to draw this out. That bastard is going to pay long and slow for what he did." Corporal Young said to the other men.

House slowly closed his eyes again not wanting them to notice he was awake and reverted back to his training to keep his body relaxed. He knew that these men were here to kill him, and if he made a wrong move he would be dead.

"Fuck what the hell happened to this guy's leg?" Asked one of the other men.

"Miller, what kind of information did you find out about this guy?" Young demanded.

"He was a Marine alright, they called him Dr. Killjoy because he was known best for saving men with his aid skills, killing the most enemies and never smiling. He was recruited at 16, move up quickly leading his own Special Opts group at 18 and then things get sketchy at age 21 because they had him doing lone missions. Tucker said that the guy was a legend, he would take out whole platoons of enemies on his own and seemed to be made of steel. He evidently has been awarded a shit load of metals including the Medal of Honor and multiple POW's." Miller said

Young laughed, "Well he couldn't have been all that good if he has POW's."

"Tucker said that he heard that they were using him to gather Intel, by dumping him on enemy ground and letting him get captured, the guy's suppose to be fluent in over six languages." Miller stated.

"Yeah well Tucker would say anything to make a Marine sound better, I bet the guy was waving a white flag before battle even began." Said one of the other men.

"Fucking Marines are always amping up their stories," The other man agreed.

Young laughed again, "Well I guess we'll see if this guy's made of steel or flesh tonight. My money is on flesh." He said looking back at House to see him watching him. "Oh look our little Marine has finally woken up from his nap."

House smiled, "Oh now ladies, you don't have to fight over me, there's enough to go around."

Young smiled back, "Oh don't worry, we plan on spreading little bits of you all round. But first lets get this on you, we can't have you screaming like the bitch you are and causing problems for us." Young said throwing a heavy duffel bag on House's stomach and pulling out a large dogs choke collar. The men pulled up House's head and put on the collar.

"We really ought to test this out," Said one of the men and gave it a hard pull.

House could feel metal spikes tearing at his skin and making his throat close momentarily then it was released and he breathed in the air slowly. "Wow, do I get a treat?" House asked sarcastically.

"Yes, you want to tell him what he's won Harrison?" Young said smiling down at House.

Harrison started rummaging through the bag and pulled out some duck tape, "I like my bitches less hairy, so lets freshen him up."

House laughed, "Don't tell your mom that, it'd hurt her feelings."

Harrison scowls at House as he started taping under his arm pits, and then ripped it off quickly.

House smiled through the sting, "Now I see why you didn't pass Beauty School, you're doing it all wrong, it's all in the wrists."

Harrison gave House a punch right in his scar.

House made no movement or sound, the only indication that he had felt it at all was the tightening of skin under his eyes. He made a mental note though, that if he got out of these restraints Harrison was going to die.

Harrison looked down at his fist still in the divot in House's thigh and laughed, "Hey guy's look at this it's almost a perfect fit."

Young smiled and rummaged in the bag again and brought out some small metal vice grips and started putting them on House's nipples.

House watched him, "I should have known you liked it kinky," he said in a feminine voice and winked at him.

Young just kept smiling as he tightened the grips to the point House's nipples were purple. Then he hit one of them to make sure that they would stay on.

House kept his breathing calm as he felt the pain of his tender flesh and then suddenly he couldn't breath he looked around to find Harrison pulling hard on the choke collar.

"Hey, stop!" Miller said pushing Harrison who finally let go.

Harrison laughed at Miller, "Jesus Miller, quit being such a pussy. He's gonna be dead anyway."

Miller squared his shoulders, "This isn't some Taliban piece of shit, this guy was a decorated Marine. We can at least give him some respect in his death."

House took slow deep breaths concentrating on his attackers instead of the pain. Miller was a man of respect and dignity, Harrison was a man who tortured not for need but for fun, Young was a control freak with a vengeance, and the other man was the unknown.

"Hey Anderson, go get me a towel." Young commanded and the other man left while he pulled out two jugs of water and smiled at House.

House knew what was coming and tried his best to stay in control of his fear. He had always had a fear of drowning and had actually drowned eight times. He took extra deep breaths breathing out slowly to exercise his lungs.

When Anderson got back he held the towel out towards Young. Young looked at Miller and smiled, "Give it to Miller he's going to do this."

Miller looked at Young with slight resentment, but took the towel, "Yes sir," He said and then turned to look at House.

"You always do what you're told?" House asked Miller.

Miller blinked and swallowed hard putting the towel over Houses face and under his head so he could get a tight grip on it at the side of Houses head. Miller then opened a bottle and started pouring it over the area of House's mouth and nose.

House held his breath as the water soaked towel that was held tightly to his face and then slowly started to breath out. Suddenly the water stopped be poured and House was happy he had out lasted it. He slowly started breathing again.

"Why did you stop?" yelled Harrison. "See he can't do anything right, that's what you get from redneck trailer park trash!"

Miller looked back at Harrison with stone cold eyes, "Young said he want's to make this long and slow. It isn't going to go on much longer if I kill him you moron."

"Go longer, I'll tell you when to stop." Young said.

Miller started pouring water again right over the towel that cover House's mouth and nose.

House was holding his breath again when suddenly he was hit hard in the stomach with something knocking the breath out of him and forcing him to suck in water.

Miller continued to pour the water looking back to see Harrison holding House's cane in his hands smiling. Miller looked to Young.

"Keep pouring, I'll tell you when to stop." Young said looking down at House's head that was now thrashing back and forth as the water poured on him.

House had taken in water and was trying his best not to take anymore in when he felt another hard hit this time on his chest. He thrashed his head as what little air he had in his lungs was pushed out and he sucked in more water.

"Alright you can stop now and remove the towel." Young commanded.

Miller stopped pouring and quickly removed the towel watching House take a breath of air and start coughing up water turning his head to the side.

House's throat burned as he coughed up all the water that he could and breathed in the air. He looked around and saw Harrison holding his cane, which now explained the hits he had received.

Young was watching him with interest, "Oh don't worry, we aren't going to kill you yet, just wanted to make sure you were hydrated." Young said.

House looked at him, "Do you always get others to do your dirty work?"

Young's eyes narrowed slightly and he opened the other jug of water and poured it all over House's body. Then grabbing a cattle prod from the bag that was now on the floor.

House moved his tongue to the back of his mouth and clamped his teeth together as he felt the water soak in the mattress beneath him.

"I'm shocked you would say that about me, I thought we were friends." Young said testing the cattle prod and smiling as he saw the blue electrical arc.

House looked around and noticed that Miller was the only one turned away. Then he felt the electricity running through his body making his muscles constrict with the pulses and the sparks popped as they jumped from his skin to the metal collar and his body felt hot as the water on his skin heated up from the electrical charge.

After a fifteen seconds Young stopped and looked at the burns on Houses stomach and around his neck were the sparks jumped from the metal collar.

House felt his muscles relax feeling like putty after the shock and could smelt the burnt flesh slightly. He kept his jaw tense, and took in ragged breaths through his nose.

"Holy shit, how did he stay quiet during that?" Anderson said looking down at House with surprise.

Young narrowed his eyes on House and then put the cattle prod on the clamp on his right nipple and shocked him again.

House's body reacted but since the contact point wasn't as big it wasn't as bad except on his nipple which felt like it was on fire.

Young watched House and finally stopped after the nipple started to smoke a little. "Harrison grab out the rubber glove." Harrison quickly complied pulling out a black thick rubber glove and putting it on. "Get ready to grab the collar, because I'm gonna make him scream this time." Young said as he placed the prod on House's drenched underwear.

House breathed heavily then he felt the shock on his genitals which burned as the water on them started to evaporate from the heat the prod was causing and he grunted trying to stay silent and then his throat closed up as the collar was pulled and held harshly by Harrison. He hoped that it would just kill him as he felt his skin around his neck being seared by the metal which continued to get hotter. As this continued he felt his bladder relieve it's self with out his control as his underwear felt so hot he was sure it would be embedded in his skin.

Young stopped and looked at Harrison who was still choking House, "Stop Harrison!" Young barked and Harrison looked at him and released his grip.

House pulled in air shakily as it hurt to breath because it made his skin pull against the metal that was stuck to it. The pain was pushing to the forefront of his mind and he struggled to push it back, mentally giving himself the same pep talk he had asked Wilson for.

"He fucking pissed himself, some bad ass Marine he is!" Anderson said pleased.

Young smiled, "We are finally starting to get somewhere. It wont be long before he'll be begging us to stop, like the coward he is."

"Your the fucking coward, tying down a cripple?" House gave a slight painful chuckle, "And that wasn't even enough, you brought three guy with you, afraid I'll beat your ass again?" House said with daring eyes.

Young gave him a cold smile and shocked his scar laughing as he saw blood running out of Houses mouth as he bit his tongue. Young stopped looking down at House, "What was that? Did the cat get your tongue?"

House's nose flared as he swallowed the blood running down his throat. Then he heard the bag moving and looked down to see Anderson pulling out a propane torch. While Young pulled out a metal rod and a homemade branding iron. House growled at the idea of being branded.

Young looked at him as he held out the branding iron so that Anderson could get it hot enough with the torch, "Harrison will kept that stupid dog of yours under control."

Harrison smile and walked over to House with his cane held like a bat and started beating House with it. He watched with amusement as House jerked in pain but never uttered a word. Then he put all his strength into it hit right across Houses chest.

House's eyes bulged as all the air was knocked at and took small shallow breaths, he heard one of his ribs break and was afraid of puncturing a lung.

"Alright, Harrison that's enough, it's ready." Young said looking at the iron and walking down the length of the bed.

House watched wondering what he was doing then his toes curled down as he saw him looking at his feet. House felt the hot iron melt his flesh like butter and gritted his teeth as he smelt the stink of burning flesh hit his nose. Young pulled it back and House couldn't stop the soft whimper that escaped his lips because of the pain.

"Guess I was right about him being flesh." Young said, "Anderson give this some more heat so I can to the other foot." Anderson put the torch up to the iron getting it hot again. "Wow I'll give you one thing, you are a stubborn bastard aren't you?" Young said watching House.

House's eyes narrowed on him and he opened his mouth which was red from the blood, "You... have no... idea." House said between breaths then spit some of the blood out of his mouth at Young.

Young's eyebrow cocked at House, "Ready for round two?" He asked walking over to the other foot.

"Bring it.. on." House said watching Young as he put the iron to his foot. House concentrated on his breathing and tried to work out a plan to get Young to be stupid enough to go one on one with him, as his foot was branded.

Harrison watched and smiled, "Anderson let me see that torch." He said. Anderson handed it to him and Harrison, who lit it, "Let's see how he handles this."

Young pulled out the iron and watched as Harrison put the blue flame on House's scar.

House's body shook from the pain and he grunted as tried to keep breathing. His hands were fisted and he rolled his head back and forth as it continued. House could feel his skin bubbling as blisters formed and popped open from the heat of the torch moving over the scarred area. His eyes rolled back, and he could feel his body wanting to give in, but he had made up his mind that he would allow himself to die at their hands.

Miller grabbed the torch from Harrison, "Damn Harrison you know how much that stinks." He said putting the torch down.

Harrison turned to Miller, "Give it back."

Miller stood his ground, "The idea here is to kill him without everyone in the building knowing, you keep burning him and someone is going to get a whiff of that. I'm not going to jail for you Harrison."

Young looked back at House, "We all know how this is going to end, so I'll give you a choice. I'll end it fast if you ask me too, all you have to do is ask and you can end this quick."

House swallowed and tasted the blood again then he laughed, "We both know I'm too stubborn for that, but I will ask you one to do one thing."

Young looked at the tortured man in front of him, "What?"

"Untie me and let me fight one on one. Let me die trying to fight like any soldier deserves." House said watching him.

Young didn't answer he just turned around to think about it.

"Come on Corporal, I'm game. I'd love to let him loose and show him how a real soldier fights." Harrison said itching at the chance.

Young looked at Harrison who was 6'' 1' and all muscle, then looked at House who was 6'' 4', muscular but lean and already severely injured and smiled. "Fine, consider it a last kindness from the military First Lieutenant House."

House nodded, "Thanks from one military man to another, Corporal Young." he said between breaths as he watched Miller grab out his knife.

As Miller started cutting the ropes that tied House to his bed, he closed his eyes and pulled at all the strength that was left in him. He pulled deep from within him and poured it back into the dark side of his long forgotten personality and let it fuel his anger and rage that he felt for these so called soldiers. As the last rope was cut, House opened his eyes, removed the vice-grip from his nipples and slowly set up on the edge of the bed. House knew that he didn't have much left and he needed to end this quickly. He looked around the room to map out were his enemies stood and what weapons he could use against them. "Lets do this." House said in a calm, low voice.

"Awe, this gonna be easy!" Harrison said as he paced back and forth, pounding his fist into the other. As House stood up, Harrison made his move to take him out. Harrison closed the distance quickly with a fist ready to strike House in his face and then he heard a loud snap.

"HOLY SHIT!" Anderson screamed as Harrison's limp body hit the floor. House spun around grabbing a heavy lamp and moved quickly to Miller and took him down with a crashing blow to side of his head. House crouched over him with the broken base of the lamp in his hand and was about to finish him when he felt a hard and painful jerk on his neck. Anderson had come up behind House and grabbed the choke chain and yanked him off of Miller onto his back. House hit the ground with a hard thud and felt a sharp pain in his chest. He opened his eyes to see Anderson was bent over him, beating him wildly with his cane. House raised his arms up to protect his face as Anderson came down with a killer blow that connected with House's hand that caused the cane to snap in two. Anderson paused for a split second to watch the other half of the cane fly across the room and House used this time to pull Andersons' knife from his boot and stabbed him up through the jaw and into his brain.

Young stood back and watched as House took out three of his best men within just a few minutes. "Well, I guess that old fucker was right about you House." Young said through gritted teeth.

House rolled over onto his knees, took the chain off his neck and wrapped it, spike side out, around his fist. House could feel his body starting to give out on him and he new his time was short. He knew that both of them were going to die tonight. House look up at Young with dark, soulless eyes and said through bloody teeth and a low graveled voice, "Your turn."

Young had had enough. "This old cripple WILL die by my hands." Young told himself in his head.

Young darted towards House with all his force screaming "DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

House counted on this and as Young was about to tackle him, he swung his legs to his front jabbing his feet hard into Young's sternum and rolling backwards with the momentum, catapulting him into the air. Young hit the wall with such force that he broke half way through the other side. House spotted the handle of his broken cane and snatched it up. He spun around back on his knees and was about to grab one of Young's legs when Young kicked him in the side of his thigh. House fell over on his side to roll with the crushing strike and Young was on top of him in a heart beat. Young repeatedly slammed his clasped hands down onto his head, bouncing it of the hard wood floor.

Houses ears rang loudly for a moment then it went deathly silent. House opened a blurry eye to see Young screaming with such fury that spit and blood was flying out of his mouth. House took the chained hand and plunged deep it into Young's throat, ripping it open. Blood and flesh gushed out of the hole in Young's neck and soaked Houses face and body. Young clamped his hands over it trying desperately to stop his life from pouring out of him. House kicked Young off of him and straddled his chest, while taking the broken handle of his cane and shoving through the back of Young's mouth to the floor severing his spine, House whispered, "I wont make you suffer."


	25. Chapter 25: That Can't Be Him

House could feel the adrenaline leaving his body and pulled himself to the night stand grabbing his phone off. He laid on his back and dialed Wilson. He still couldn't hear anything not even his own words so he waited for five seconds and just started talking.

Wilson pick up the phone on the first ring of House's ring-tone. "What is it House?" Wilson said and heard breathing on the other end.

"Wilson? I don't know if you can hear me but..." House started coughing hard and could feel the fluid in his lungs. "Damn rib." He said rolling slightly on his left side.

Wilson blinked rapidly at the odd start of the conversation. "House are..."

"I better make this quick in case it's your voice mail. Don't come over, I'm not sure I got them all, send an ambulance..(cough) to my place. You've been a great.. (hacking cough) friend. Don't let them take me to our hospital, don't want them to see me like this." House's body was shaking from the pain and he's vision was fading. "Not gonna make it, you were the best..." House dropped the phone as he went unconscious.

Wilson could feel his heart beating in his throat, "House? HOUSE!" he yelled and grabbed his keys making his way to his car. He dialed 911 as he turned on his hazard lights and peeled out towards House's place.

"What kind of emergency is this?" asked the woman on the other line.

"I... I don't know." Wilson answered trying to make sure he didn't kill himself or anyone else on the road.

"Calm down sir, what has happened?" asked operator.

Wilson thought about it, "My friend just called said that he needs an ambulance at his place, there might be other there. He said he wasn't sure he got them all." Wilson almost hit a car when going through a stop sign. "Fuck," Wilson said and then remembered he was on the phone. "Sorry that wasn't towards you."

"Sir what's your friends name and where does he live?" the operator asked.

"Dr. Gregory House at 221B Elm Street in Plansboro, New Jersey." He said honking his horn as he went through another stop light. He pulled up and parked his car.

"Sir I have them dispatched, please stay on the line." said the operator.

Wilson jumped out of the car and ran to the door which to his surprise was unlocked and opened it. "House," he said walking in finding everything looking normal, "I swear if this is some kind of prank I'll kill you." Wilson said still holding the phone to his ear.

"Sir, what's your name and are you at your friends place?" asked the operator.

"Yes I'm at his place and my name is Dr. James Wilson." he said looking around and then finally going into the bedroom. "Shit.. House!" Wilson yelled looking around at the bodies in the floor of the dark room. "House!" Wilson yelled almost slipping in the blood that coated the floor. He looked around and saw that all the men were wearing army clothing except on who was covered in only his underwear. Wilson made his way over and saw the phone beside the body that had to be House. Wilson could hear the police as he bent down over House and felt for a pulse. It was very weak, but it was there. "What the hell happened?" He asked looking around the dark room at the bodies and then at House who was hard to see but Wilson could smell and see the shine of the blood that coated him.

"Police coming in!" Yelled a man outside of Houses apartment and came in the living room pointing a gun.

Wilson yelled back, "In here," as he hung up the phone, he wasn't about to leave House's side.

Two police officer came in and turned on the light. "Sir we are going to need you to step away from the body." Said the woman with her hand on the holster of her gun.

"No! I'm who called it in, he's my best friend. I'm his doctor." Wilson rambled not making an inch away from House.

"Sir, we have to take pictures before the ambulances get here." The man said putting his gun away.

Wilson shook his head, "I can't," he said now looking down and seeing that House's body and face were so badly beaten he was unrecognizable.

The police started taking pictures quickly knowing that as soon as the ambulance got there the whole crime scene would be disturbed. Wilson kept his hand on Houses neck making sure there was still a pulse until he suddenly felt someone pulling him away. "Let go of me!" he yelled looking back to see paramedics.

"Sir if you want your friend to live you need to get out of the way," Said a large man staring him down.

Wilson looked around to see more paramedics and moved away from House. He hadn't even heard the siren on the ambulances or when they had come in. Wilson stood up and watched as they felt for a pulse, "I'm riding with him, I'm his doctor." Wilson said.

"What Hospital do you need him taken to?" Asked the paramedic.

"Princet..." Wilson stopped and thought about what House had said, "scratch that take him to New Jersey Medical." Then moved out of the way as a gurney was put down to put House on.

"Alright New Jersey Medical it is," The paramedic said to him and started rolling House out with Wilson following then they piled into the ambulance.

"What have we got?" asked the driver as he pulled out.

"Need to go to New Jersey Medical. Male with a collapsed lung, multiple broken bones, maybe a skull fracture, electrical and fire burns covering at least a forth of his body, and something's going on with his leg, that's all I can tell right now." Said the paramedic.

"He had a surgery ten years ago were they removed some of his muscle." Wilson watched as the leg shook. "He has spasms."

"You know him pretty well?" The paramedic ask watching how Wilson was looking at the body with disbelief.

"He's my best friend and one of the best Doctors in the world, he can't die." Wilson said staring at him.

"What's his name?" asked the paramedic.

"Dr. Gregory House." Wilson answered.

The paramedic looked at Wilson with a stunned expression, "The Dr. House, as in the best diagnostician in the world. That Dr. House?"

Wilson nodded still unable to look away from what was left of House's body.

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It had been two hours and Wilson was now sitting in a waiting room since House had been rushed into surgery. Wilson opened his cell phone and called Cuddy.

"I don't even want to know his excuse," Cuddy said as soon as she answered the phone. She had been waiting for almost five hours for House to show up at her place and was just about to get in bed.

Wilson didn't know what to say, he was still in shock from everything. "I'm at New Jersey Medical." He said softly.

Cuddy could tell something was wrong, "Are you okay?" she asked now with concern.

"You should be here," Wilson said just now noticing the blood that covered his hands from touching House.

Cuddy swallowed, "Wilson are you alright?"

Wilson stared at the blood, "I'll be fine, but you need to come." he said softly again.

Cuddy didn't know what was going on, but she knew that Wilson wouldn't have called her unless he thought it was important. "Okay, I'll see if I can get someone to watch Rachel."

"Bring her if you have to. He needs you." Wilson said closing his eyes to get away from looking at the blood.

Cuddy felt her chest tighten, this was about House. "I'll be there Wilson." She said taking off her night clothes and pulling out some jeans and a shirt from her closet and then she heard Wilson hang up. She looked at the cell phone and with an odd expression and got dressed. She called Stacy a girl she had used to watch Rachel some nights, and was relieved to find that she could watch Rachel until noon the next day.

Cuddy wondered why House would be at New Jersey Medical instead of their Hospital and found herself getting mad. Almost every time House ended up at the Hospital it was because of his own doings. She was tired of him pulling stunts that caused Wilson and her to worry about him, when he didn't even care enough to try and be careful. It took almost an hour for Cuddy to get to the Hospital because of traffic.

She looked down at her phone and realized it had been two hours since Wilson had called and now was almost three in the morning. She grabbed a scrunchy from the glove box and pulled her hair into a ponytail and entered the Hospital. She looked around the waiting room but didn't see him.

"I need the room number for Dr. Gregory House." Cuddy asked the woman at the nurses station.

The woman looked up at Cuddy and then typed the name in her system. "He's in room 503, but visiting hours aren't for another two hours."

Cuddy smiled, "Well then it's good I'm not visiting, I'm one of his Doctors."

The woman eyed Cuddy, "You have any proof of that?"

Cuddy pulled out a wallet sized Doctors license and handed it to the woman.

The woman read it and gave it back to Cuddy, "Like I said room 503."

Cuddy put it back in her wallet and got on the elevator taking it up to the fifth floor. She was tired and pissed at House before the call and now even though she was worried she was even more pissed that he had pulled some stunt that had once again landed him in a Hospital.

As the doors opened she looked to see that the floor was almost completely empty of life at three in the morning and walked down the hall finding Wilson sitting by room 503.

"Hey," he said watching her walk up to him.

"How many times has he put you through this?" Cuddy asked looking down at him.

"I don't know," Wilson said tiredly looking down.

Cuddy sighed looking at Wilson, "Well I'm going in there to let him know this shit has to stop." She said walking towards the door.

"You might not want to go in just yet." Wilson said standing on unsteady feet.

Cuddy opened the door and went in. She stopped as two nurses looked at her and she saw a purple, red and black covered body hooked up to a respirator that they were trying to clean gently with bandages and stitches holding it together. She felt sick as she shook her head not believing this could be House. Then she saw his leg with the muscle missing but instead of the scar it was half burnt black while the other half was red and seeping from having the burnt skin removed. Cuddy turned back and left. She felt her stomach lurch and ran past Wilson into the restroom she had passed walking to his room and vomited.

Wilson was waiting outside the womens bathroom when she came back out. "You alright?"

Cuddy shook her head, "That can't be him Wilson... there just no way that it's him." She said looking up at him with watery eyes.

Wilson licked his lips and frowned, "But it is... some how he's in there Lisa. He has to be."

Cuddy looked over at the closed door. "What happened to him?"

Wilson ran his hands over his face, "I don't know for sure, the police were able to get a statement from one of the men, but the others..." Wilson shook his head looking back at the room.

She took a hold of his hand, "Let me take you somewhere and we can get something to eat. There isn't anything we can do for him right now Wilson, and you can tell me what happened."

"No! I wont leave him," Wilson looked up at her with glassy eyes, "I can't." He said with a worried and sad face.

Cuddy frowned, "Wilson he needs you to be strong, you have to eat and get away from this place in order to do that." She pulled on his arm and although he watched Houses door he went with Cuddy.

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They were at a small 24 hour dinner across from the Hospital sitting silently.

"We use to come here." Wilson said out of no where.

Cuddy smiled, "I'm sure you will again, you know House, he's a fighter." She wasn't sure if House could recover from this, but knew Wilson needed to hear positive things.

Wilson took a sip of the coffee. "He was attacked in his own home." He blinked a couple of time as he thought about it. "Can you imagine waking up tied down with four men watching you?"

"Who attacked him and how did they get in?" Cuddy asked watching Wilson.

Wilson sighed, "Well all I can tell you is what one of the attackers told the police. He said that they used chloroform to keep House out when they found him asleep and tied him down. They tortured him with numerous things that they had brought with them and then House convinced them to let him die fighting and they untied him. He said the House snapped one of the guys neck and hit him with something and that's all he knew. Police said that the guy gave them specifics on what they did, but that I shouldn't read it yet. They said it's pretty sick and graphic to read about someone you don't know, and would be even worse imagining a friend going through it. They gave me a copy though of the offical statement." Wilson said putting the file on the table.

Cuddy looked at it and then looked back at Wilson. "Yeah I'm not reading that for a while, maybe ever. So why the hell did these guys break into House's place?"

Wilson swallowed and looked away from Cuddy, "You remember Corporal Young?"

Cuddy thought about it for a second, "The soldier who hit me?" She said with wide eyes.

"He planned the whole thing and ordered three of his men to help him. They were suppose to kill House." Wilson couldn't help but wonder if House would be better off dead then the condition they left him in.

"What happened to the Young and the other men did the police catch them?" Cuddy asked with a panicked face.

"No, House killed the bastards." Wilson said looking back at her.

As Cuddy thought of this a small sad smile fell on her lips, "Is it wrong of me to think that they got off better than they deserved?"

Wilsons jaw tightened and his hands were fisted, "No, they definitely got off a lot easier than House. I wish that they could be suffering like they made him."

"So did you get a call from the Hospital or the police?" Cuddy asked taking a sip of the coffee.

"House called me instead of 911. He said not to let the ambulance take him to Princeton Plainsboro, because he didn't' want them to see him like this. He said I had been a great friend." Wilson said swallowing hard, "Even after all the crap I've put him through, he called me to tell me I was a great friend when he thought he was dying."

"You have been a great friend to him Wilson." Cuddy said and held on of his fisted hands.

"No I haven't! I've been a terrible friend. I slept with the woman he was trying to marry, and then I didn't tell him why she left until ten years later. I've caused him so much physical pain with the detoxing and the DBS. I've ratted him out to the cops when, if I'd listened to him when the pain returned and given him a prescription none of that ever would have happened. I've blamed him for my marriages failing, when it wasn't his fault it was mine and all the time Cuddy he's been there for me, given me strength and guided me to do better and instead of letting him know how important he was to me I would shift blame on him and lecture him about being a lousy friend." Wilson had tears running down his face by the end of his rant. "He deserved better than that."

Cuddy sat there in silence letting Wilson get it all out of his system. "No one's perfect Wilson, you tried and now he's going to need both of us more than ever." she said softly.

Wilson nodded slowly, "I'll do what ever it takes to get him better."

Cuddy was able to get him to eat a little and then they both went back to the Hospital.

Wilson looked at the door, "I'm afraid to go in... he looked bad when I found him, but he was covered in so much blood I really couldn't see how bad it was."

Cuddy swallowed remembering how the sight of him had made her vomit earlier. "He looks bad Wilson, but he needs us to be strong." she said putting her hand on the door knob and pushing it open.

They both peeked in looking at the body that seemed impossible to be alive. Cuddy stood at the door looking in and Wilson walked in slowly looking at House's legs and feet that were facing the door without any covers. He took another couple of steps to find that the only part of House's body that was covered were his privates with a one and half foot wide strip of Satin like material. Wilson looked at his right hand that was taped up and then at his left leg with had bandages wrapped around it. Wilson noticed the burnes on his scar, nipple, neck, and there were red blisters scattered all of his body from some kind of burn but Wilson wasn't sure what kind. He noticed that the red blisters were close together along where the satin strip laid and pulled it down slightly to see that they continued and pulled it back up swallowing hard. He noticed that House's left ribs were bandaged and finally got the courage to look at his face. It was almost nothing but bandages. The top of his head was bandaged along with his his nose, both cheekbones, his jaw and most of his neck. Wilson stepped back and noticed that besides the respirator and normal equipment, House also had a colostomy bag, which meant they didn't expect him to be able to move anytime soon. Wilson searched for any flesh tone skin and all he could find was his toes and a couple of patches on his arms where the bruises were broken up.

Wilson looked back to see Cuddy sitting down in one of the chairs looking at House with a horrid expression. "This doesn't seem real." she said looking at him.

Wilson walked over to sit down beside her and pulled her to him. "We'll get him through this, you're right about him being strong and stubborn. He'll pull through this some way."

The nurse walked in and looked at them, "Visiting hours haven't started yet."

Wilson stood up, "I'm his medical proxy, and we are the closest thing he has to family."

The nurse looked over at House and back at Wilson and Cuddy. "His doctor should be coming by soon. You can stay just make sure not to touch him, his skin really needs to air to heal from the burns and that makes him more vulnerable to infections."

"We are both Doctors as well." Cuddy said putting out a hand to the woman, "I'm Dr. Cuddy and this is Dr. Wilson." She said shaking the nurses hand. "I was noticing that there wasn't a chart on his bed."

"I'm Jessica and we don't keep the charts on the bed, we believe keeping them at the nurses station gives our customers more privacy." Jessica smiled and walked past them to House and made sure his status looked good then checked on his waste and left.

Wilson and Cuddy sat back down and suddenly Cuddy laughed. Wilson gave her an odd look and she tried to stop but she laughed even harder. "I just could help but think House could never work here." She said smiling, "He would hate having to tip toe around for patients privacy." She said as her laughter started to fade.

Wilson gave her a smile as he tried to imagine House getting irritated by rules and policies. "He would hate it here." Wilson said with a smile.

"Who would hate it here?" asked the doctor standing in the doorway with a slight Russian accent.

Wilson stood up, "It's not important, are you House's doctor?"

Cuddy stayed seat but turned toward the door.

"Yes, my name is Dr. Douglas Tucker and you are?" Tucker asked.

"I'm his best friend and medical proxy, my name is Dr. James Wilson, and this is his boss and girlfriend, Dr. Lisa Cuddy. We are pretty much his family so any news you could give us would be great." Wilson said

"That's not true," said Tucker said putting on gloves.

Wilson swallowed and sat down as the doctor looked over at House. "Is he going to make it?" he asked shaken by what the doctor had said.

"He shouldn't have made it this far, so no one knows." Tucker said looking back at Wilson and Cuddy. "So how do you want to do this you can sit there and I can tell you his injuries and then check to see their progress, or we can do both at the same time."

Cuddy swallowed, "Both, I want to see his progress as well."

Tucker nodded, "Great we shall begin from the bottom and work our way up then." Tucker started removing the bandages on the souls of House's feet, "As you can see he was branded with the same kind of iron that would be used on herding animals on his feet, we cleaned the wound as you can see it seems to be healing slowly which means he wouldn't be able to walk for a while but I'm guessing he was in a wheelchair anyways."

"No, he used a cane." Wilson said staring at the burned markings on Houses feet.

"He should have been, but this one is full of surprises, no?" Tucker said and looked at the other foot too, making sure it was progressing at the same pace as the first. "Next is the right leg which has third degree burns on a old scar, since the scar tissue was thick it caused less damage, but is still going to take at least six weeks to completely heal. Dr. Wilson, you should think of weither or not you want to do a skin graph over it, or leave it the way it is."

Wilson looked at him surprised, "It's not my call, as soon as House wakes up he'll..."

Tucker interupted him, "Dr. Wilson, there is a good chance he will not wake up, and even if he does, it's even more unlikely that he will be the man you knew him to be."

Wilson looked at the doctor with an open mouth and Cuddy grabbed his elbow. Wilson looked at her and then back at the doctor, "Why? Why is there a good chance he wont wake up or he'll be different?"

"Oh, you were not informed, of course not, you aren't family. Dr. House suffered many hits to the head which resulted in reopening a prior skull fracture and creating a new one along with bruising the brain badly. He also died two times on the table during surgeries. This," Tucker said gesturing at House's still lifeless body, "isn't us, he is in a coma."

Wilson grabbed the bed rails to keep himself up right and Cuddy put her right hand on the bed rail and her left hand on Wilson's back.

"I can see that this is a surprise to you, would you like to continue, or should I come back?" Tucker said.

"Continue," Cuddy said softly looking at House.

"As you wish," Tucker said going around the bed to the left leg, and peeling back the bandages, "His left leg was broken and is now being held by titanium plates and screws it will take at least 3 months for the bone to heal, then if he's able at least 3 months in rehab." Dr. Tucker felt of the stitches through gloved hands and seemed satisfied covering it back up then pulling off the satin fabric that covered House's privates.

Cuddy looked alarmed at the blisters from the burns and Wilson looked at the doctor with angry eyes, "Was that necessary?"

Tucker raised an eyebrow at Wilson, "You said you were doctors, am I wrong. I assume you knew your friend was a man."

Wilson couldn't believe this guy, "Yes I knew he was a man, but he might appreciate keeping a little modesty."

"I told you I was going to check his wounds while telling you of the extent of his injuries and you agreed. I do not take my job lightly Dr. Wilson or the care of my patients as I hope you don't either. Now, he sustained second degree electrical burns which has caused the redness of the skin and the blisters that are seen all over his body and cover his complete pelvic region." Tuck said looking at the blisters.

"What kind of electrical burn?" Cuddy asked unable to look away from House blistered flesh.

"I'm told he had water poured on him and was electrocuted with a cattle prod, the water his underwear soaked up is the reason for damage here being consistent here while the other burns are spread out to where the water beads were. It should heal completely with in two to four weeks and we honestly can't say if he will lose any function in the area." Dr. Tucker said covering House again, then moving on. "He has three cracked ribs on the right side of his chest and had a broken rip on his left side, which punctured his lung filling it with blood and then causing it to collapse. We stitched the lung and removed the floating piece of rib." Tucker said looking under the bandages at the stitches that ran along his rib where they had cut.

"This seems to be recovering better than I had hoped for. The right nipple was also burned by the cattle prod through a metal vice grip that was attached to the nipple causing third degree burns. He pulled his left shoulder out of its socked, but it was put back in and shattered his right hand, which will be put in a splint today. His neck was burned as well, because of a chain metal dog collar that was apparently on him. He is lucky one of the spikes didn't push a hole all the way through his throat. He did also get a lot of bruising from the collar and cut flesh, that is why we had it covered." Tucker said now looking under the bandages, "We stitched over sixty stitches around his neck, hopefully they will all heal properly leaving nothing more than faint scars."

Tucker looked at both of them. "Are you sure you wish to be in the room as I inspect his facial and skull injuries?"

Wilson looked down and closed his eyes trying to decide.

"I'm sure," Cuddy said softly.

"No Cuddy, I'm not sure that's a good idea." Wilson said looking at her.

"You may want listen to your friend, his head sustained a lot of damage." Tucker said looking at Cuddy.

Cuddy swallowed, "I need to see," she said not moving.

Wilson look at her and then Dr. Tucker, "We'll both stay."

Tucker nodded and started taking off the bandages on Houses face. "He fractured his jaw, broke his nose, and has a fracture on the left cheek bone, all of which are scheduled to be fixed today since he had to be under so long and had two scares on the table. His skull fractures where here and here," Tucker said indicating the spots with his fingers. "He did have a small brain bleed that has been taken care of. Are there any questions I might answer for you?"

Cuddy stared down at House's battered face and couldn't see any part of House, it was just a blob of purple bruises. "If he comes out of the coma, what would be ideal for his recovery."

Tucker looked at her and then at House. "Three weeks in the Hospital, then he could go home, as long as there was someone there to help him, in a electric wheelchair for one to two months depending on how fast he heals, then he should be ready to go back to work, using the wheelchair of course until he's out of rehab. It is possible for him to be completely healed in six to eight months." Tucker walked over to Cuddy, "I say it is possible Dr. Cuddy, but please remember that it isn't probable. It is good to hope for the best, but not to forget the reality of the situation." Cuddy nodded, and Dr. Tucker walked over to Wilson, "And you need to think about how long you want to keep him on life support, in case he doesn't wake up. If either of you have anymore questions just tell the nurses and they will pass them along and I'll get back to you." Dr. Tucker said now walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.


	26. Chapter 26: Aftermath

House's eye lids fluttered as he started to wake up. He's eyes were blurry as pain radiated from all over his body and he blinked trying to see, after a few minutes he could tell he was in a dark hospital room. He looked around noticing it wasn't Princeton Plainsboro and then started to remember what had happened, and moved his head slight looking down at his body. House could see the burns, bandages and bruises that still covered his body and let his head rest back on the pillow. He took some shaky breaths as the pain seemed overwhelming and tried to move his right hand to his face but stopped as the pain from it was amplified. He then tried moving his left hand which didn't hurt, but as he moved the arm, the bruises protested. House continued and felt his shoulder ache too and felt of his face. He swallowed as he felt the bandages over most of his head except his jaw and eyes. The swallow also allowed him to realize how thirty he was. He looked around trying to find a call button when the door knob to his room made a noise and his heart raced as he stared at it.

"Dr. Tucker said that all swelling in his brain has finally gone, which is good but I'm still just wanting him to wake up." Wilson said walking through the door while looking at Cuddy.

Cuddy nodded in agreement, "Wilson I want the same thing but you staying here every moment waiting for it to happen isn't going to make it happen any faster and sleeping in those chairs can't be good for you. You need to go home and get some good sleep."

House blinked and then tried to speak, "Water," he said in a raspy dry voice and watched as they both turned and looked with wide eyes at him speechless. Neither of them moved in shock and House repeated himself coughing this time.

Wilson was the first to move and ran into the bathroom to get House some water. Cuddy took slow careful steps towards House and stared at him, it seemed like forever since she had seen his eyes and she smiled with tears as she now stood on his left side and gently gave his left bruised hand a squeeze.

Wilson came back and put the straw to Houses mouth and he took several long sips draining the plastic cup quickly. "More?" Wilson asked looking at House.

House gave him a odd look and nodded. Wilson was back soon with the cup refilled. House drank half of it and then pulled back slightly and Wilson handed the cup to Cuddy who put it down on a cart that sat on Houses left side.

"House, what all do you remember?" Cuddy asked looking at him.

House blinked several times and looked at her and Wilson with confusion. "Who's House?" he asked weakly.

Cuddy and Wilson looked at him with worried expressions. "Do you know who we are?" Wilson asked with a slight panic coming through in his voice.

House stilled looked confused and shook his head slightly, "Should I? I know I'm at a Hospital, but..." House's face was that of thought and concentration, "I don't know why." He said looking from Wilson to Cuddy.

Wilson rubbed his hand over his mouth, and Cuddy patted House's hand, "It's going to be okay, but try really hard. Are you sure you don't remember us?" She asked looking at him with desperate eyes.

"Are you my sister?" House asked looking hopeful. Cuddy shook her head and swallowed. House looked disappointed to have gotten it wrong and looked back to Wilson. "You're attractive." House said watching for Wilson's reaction.

Wilson blinked at him and swallowed, "Thanks," he said and gave a polite smile, knowing that House didn't know what he was saying.

"Are you my life partner?" House asked moving his left hand to reach for Wilson.

Wilson was startled by the question. "Um, no House. You aren't gay and neither am I."

House looked conflicted, "Then why do I feel attracted to you? Why do I want to touch you?" House asked frowning up at Wilson.

Wilson blinked rapidly feeling awkward, "I don't know House."

"Is that my name?" House asked with a look of disbelief.

"Yes," Cuddy answered him.

"My parents named me House? Who names their kid after a noun?" House asked shaking his head slightly.

Cuddy gave him a half smile, "It's your last name, your full name is Dr. Gregory House."

House looked at both of them stunned, "I'm a doctor? Then who are you?"

Cuddy looked to Wilson unsure of how much they should say.

"We're friends that work with you." Wilson said.

"Oh," House said letting this sink in, "Am I a good doctor?" he asked.

Cuddy smiled big, "Yes you are a very good doctor, you are one of the best in the world."

House gave a slight smile back at her, "So I'm liked?" he asked

Wilson and Cuddy looked at each other and blinked as if trying to speaking in some sort of Morris code with their blinks. Wilson cleared his throat and looked back down at House, "Yes, everyone likes you House you are a wonderful person. You are very caring about your patents and have lots of friends." House could stop the chuckle and smile on his face. Wilson gave him an odd look, "What's so funny?" he asked.

House smiled bigger, "I'm pretty sure I remember people hating me and thinking of me as an ass."

Wilson took a step back and ran his hands through his hair, while Cuddy looked at him infuriated, "Do you have any idea how much you scared us?" she asked loudly.

House jerked slightly back with fear at her raised voiced and quickly closed his eyes. He could feel the slight shaking in his hands and swallowed, he knew the symptoms all to well as he was sure they did to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Cuddy felt a rush of guilt as she saw his reaction. "House, I didn't mean to..." she didn't finish the sentence knowing he wouldn't like her to refer to scaring him.

"It's fine... I'm fine." House said with his eyes still closed in a self assuring way now feeling the pain that the slight jerk of his body caused. He opened up his eyes again avoiding looking at Cuddy and instead concentrating on Wilson. "Can you get them to give me something for the pain, it's starting to get really bad."

Wilson looked up at his heart rate which was steadily increasing, "Jesus House, you should have said something as soon as you woke up, just try to calm down and I'll get the nurse." He said and left quickly.

House closed his eyes again focusing on his breathing and noticing the sharp pain with each breath, "Punctured lung from the broken rib?" He asked out loud knowing Cuddy was still in the room.

Cuddy took a step closer to him, "Yeah, so I'm guessing you remember what happened?" she asked now using a soft voice.

House couldn't help the flood of memories that came to him from that night and opened his eyes quickly as it became to much. He stared at the ceiling, "More than I wish," he said and licked his swollen dry lips. "How bad of shape am I in?" House asked finally looking back at her.

Cuddy's chin shook as she looked at him, "The doctor said you could make a full recovery."

House knew as soon as she had deflected the question and by the shake in her chin that it was really bad. He nodded slightly, "I'll be sure to do that, I wouldn't want to disappoint them."

Cuddy tried to smile, "You've been out a couple of days, it's Monday night now," she said unsure of what she should say.

House's eyes were still on her, "I'm sorry I didn't make it to dinner, even though you're cooking is horrible," he said with a slight smile.

Cuddy shook her head and gave a small laugh, "Worse than this?" she asked looking down at him.

House pretending to be giving it a lot of thought, "I'd say it's pretty much a tie."

Cuddy smiled back at him, "Have I told you that you are an ass?" she said happily.

House smiled, "It's been a while," He said moving his hand to hold hers. "Did you see the look on Wilson's face when I said I was attracted to him. I almost lost it right there." he said giving a painful laugh.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Only you would take the time to screw with us when you are in this much pain." she said looking over his body.

Wilson came through the door with a chubby black nurse. She was pushing a electronic morphine dispensing machine with gloved hands and started hooking it up to House.

"You couldn't get me one of the hot nurses?" House asked Wilson as the woman plugged in the machine.

Wilson gave House a look of annoyance and the woman straightened up looking down at House, "Well you aren't all that right now yourself. Looking at your scrawny white ass all covered with bruises and blisters isn't my idea of a good time either." She said with attitude.

House gave a small laugh and looked over at her, "Now she's my kind of nurse. What's your name?"

The nurse kept working on the machine, "Jackie, but you can call me your morphine queen." She said as she tried to find another good vein to put the needle for the morphine in.

House looked down at his mainly purple right arm and used is left hand to point to were he knew a vein ran, "There," he said looking up at her.

Jackie poked in the needle and taped it down, "Alright now just press this button for the morphine, I'll go a head and give it three pushes to get it started, you should start to feel the effects in 5 to 10 minutes."

House took in so slow breaths, "How long till I can get out of here?"

Jackie looked up at Wilson and Cuddy, "He just woke up a couple of minutes ago." Wilson said hoping she understood.

"I need to speak to Dr. House alone for a minute," She said looking at both of them.

Cuddy and Wilson seemed hesitant to leave, but then Cuddy nodded and started on her way out and Wilson followed her.

House watched them leave, "So give it to me straight."

"Thirty percent of your body is covered with second and third degree burns, your left femur was broken, your hand was shattered, three cracked ribs on the right, a broken rib on the left, pulled your shoulder out of its socket, your neck has over sixty stitches, broken nose, fractured jaw and cheekbones, along with two fractures of your skull, you've had a brain bleed and swelling." Jackie said.

House looked at her, "But that isn't why you asked them to leave. They are doctors they could have figured that out for themselves just by looking at me, so why did you want them to leave?"

Jackie sighed, "You're right that's not why I asked them to leave."

House reached for his water and took a sip, "So what are you waiting for?" He asked looking at her.

"Your morphine to kick in," she said as she changed gloves and started looking under his bandages.

House watched looking at the injuries with interest for a couple of minutes and then sighed in relieve as soon as he felt the morphine start to diminish the pain. "Alright morphine is working, so what is it."

Jackie looked over at his face, "Maybe you should eat something too." She said about to press the call button to talk with the someone at the nurses station.

House put his hand over hers and looked at her, "Just tell me, I'm sure I can take it."

Jackie sighed again and nodded, "Fine, one of the men you came in with was HIV positive."

House's eyes turned cold with the news, "See it wasn't that hard," he said emotionless.

"It was Mr. Young, did any of his bodily fluids come in contact with you?" She asked frankly.

House felt sick as he thought about the blood from Young's throat coating him. "Yes," he said and swallowed.

Jackie could tell he was trying to be strong and put a hand on his forearm, "We need to put you on post exposure prophylaxis. If you are in a current relationship you will need to either sustain from sex or make sure to wear a condom."

House didn't respond in any way to what she was saying.

"I understand that this can be hard but it is important that any sexual partner you have is informed, if you would rather I can contact them and explain." She said.

House shook his head slightly and winced from the pain, "That's not necessary, I'm not in a relationship." House said coldly.

Jackie cocked her eyebrow at him, "Does your girlfriend know that?" she asked knowingly.

"She will," House said closing his eyes, "I'll end it."

Jackie swallowed, "You don't have to do that. If you practice safe sex, then..."

House interrupted her, "I'm a doctor, I know the risks and even if they were low I'm not risking her life." He said with certainty.

Jackie nodded slowly, "I'll get you the medicine, food and then tell your friends that they can come back in." She said as she left.

House took a deep breath welling himself to stay calm. So he might have an incurable disease and was going to have to end the first relationship he had in the last decade. Things happen, he told himself bitterly.

Jackie came back in and watched as House opened his eyes and looked at the medicine she handed him, "Bottoms up," he said taking all the pills at once and giving her a smile.

She looked at him smiling and couldn't help feeling sorry for him, "If you need to talk about your condition or how you feel, I'm here for that." Jackie said.

House's eyes narrowed and his mouth faded from the smile into a flat line, "I won't. Don't go soft on me now," he said in a low warning voice.

Jackie could tell he meant what he said and nodded, "Fine you old coot, I'll let your visitors know that they can come back in, and you should have a meal up here in about 15 minutes." She said and walked out.

Wilson and Cuddy both walked through the door less than a minute after Jackie had left.

"What was that about?" Wilson asked with a worried look at House.

House shrugged, "Just wanted to tell me what injuries I had gotten and check my bandages. So what did you tell my team?" He said looking at both of them.

Cuddy started to fidget with her hands, "I told them you would be out for three months for medical reasons and put Foreman in charge of the team for the moment." she said hesitantly.

House rolled his eyes, "You couldn't have come up with something more interesting, like that I was in prison?"

Cuddy walked over to him, "Greg, it's not like they wouldn't know the minute you roll through the door that you were out for medical reasons, why lie to them?" she asked softly.

House sighed, "Because now they are going to be on the prowl, and it won't be long before one of them finds out where I am. I don't want them knowing what happened, I don't want anyone knowing." He said with urgency.

Cuddy looked like she was about to cry but wouldn't allow herself, and put a hand up softly touching his jaw and rubbing her thumb across his lips. "You were amazing, you are always amazing. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

House closed his eyes and swallowed. He knew that all of her kind words and soft gestures would be gone soon enough and felt guilty for enjoying them at the moment. House kissed her thumb as it softly crossed his lips.

Cuddy knew it was his way of saying thanks.

House opened his eyes to see Wilson passing back and forth, "Alright I'm ordering you to go home and get some rest Wilson, I'll be here in the morning."

Wilson stopped and looked at House, "No, I'm fine. I'll just sleep in the chair."

House sighed, "For one I know you're not fine, because if things were reversed I wouldn't be fine. Second, it wasn't up for discussion. Go, get some sleep."

Wilson looked like he wanted to argue but finally sighed, "You're right I'm exhausted. I'll be here first thing tomorrow morning." He said gathering his things.

"As long as you don't wake me up, it's fine." House said with a slight smile.

Wilson gave him a smile, "Well in that case I'll make it eleven, wouldn't want you missing any of your beauty sleep, not when you obviously need it so bad."

House gave a fake pout and looked down at himself, "You don't think I look sexy like this, with just a scrap of material covering my goods?"

Wilson gave him a glance over, "Oh, no I actually think that this is an improvement, but you still have a long way to go before you hit my level of attractiveness."

House gave a small laugh, "But why am I attracted to you, why do I want to touch you?" House mocked his own words from earlier reaching out for Wilson.

Wilson laughed, "You are one sick minded man."

"Oh don't act like you don't love it." House quipped back as Wilson left.

Cuddy smiled down at him, "That was nice of you." She said now holding his left hand, "He really needed to get some sleep."

House rolled his eyes, "I didn't do it for him. He was going to drive me crazy with that pacing and I wanted to spend some time with you before you headed back home."

Cuddy looked at him with narrowed eyes, "And by spending time I assume you mean being you personal servant."

House gave her a half smile, "I love it when a woman knows her place."

Cuddy pouted back at him, "But I didn't bring my sexy nurse lingerie."

House hated that he was going to miss seeing her in that. All the things he would never get to do or say to her washed over him.

Cuddy could see something was wrong but had no clue what. "Greg are you okay?"

House looked up at her, "Yeah but I am a little thirsty." he said eying the plastic cup.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and picked up the cup and put the straw up to his lips.

House sucked up the liquid and then laid his head back down on the pillow, "So did they say how long before I get all these bandages off my face."

Cuddy gave him a half smile, "Tomorrow."

Housed closed his eyes and nodded, "How long do they want to keep me here?"

Cuddy gave him a confused look, "The nurse didn't tell you?" She watched as he shook his head slightly, "Three to four weeks."

House sighed, "Bastards, did I at least get them all?"

Cuddy felt anger for the men who had done this to him, "All but one, a guy named Miller."

House felt his empty stomach rumble, "He didn't want to be a part of it; he even tried to stop it at some points."

Cuddy squeezed his hand, "Is that why you let him live?"

House opened his eyes, "No, when they let me go, I was in survivor mode." He said and looked at her with worry, "It been a long time since I've killed someone with my bare hands, it kind of scary how fast all that training comes back."

Cuddy swallowed, "You did what you had to do Greg. You are still a good man and I'm proud of you."

House didn't know how to feel about her words, it was rare in his life that someone he actually cared about said they were proud of him. In the Marines he had heard the phrase a lot, but it had meant nothing from them. "You always are looking at me through rose colored glasses, don't you ever worry you are seeing good that isn't really there?"

Cuddy thought about this and gave him a sad smile, "As apposed to the dark black glasses you see yourself through. Why is it so hard for you to see the good that's in you."

House looked at her with conflicted eyes and then Jackie came in with a tray of food. She looked at them holding hands and felt a little guilt that she had to be the one to give him the news that would ultimately end their relationship. "Here," she said putting the tray down on the rolling cart, "I know it isn't all that appetizing but you need to eat as much as you can."

House looked at the food and then narrowed his eyes on her, "This is your way of torturing me isn't it?"

Jackie cocked her eyebrow at him, "Maybe you'll think next time you open that smart mouth of yours."

House gave her a half smile, "I doubt it."

Jackie looked over at Cuddy, "You sure you got a handle on this one?"

Cuddy smiled back, "I'll make sure he eats everything." Jackie gave her a nod and left.

"Good she believed you now dump it in the trash can before she comes back." House said pointing to the trash can.

Cuddy cocked her eyebrow at him, "I wasn't lying, you are going to eat every last bite of this."

House looked at the food and then her with challenging eyes, "Yeah that's not going to happen," he said with a confident smile.

Cuddy gave an exasperated sigh, "You haven't even tried it yet, it might not be that bad."

House gave her a curious look, "When was the last time you were hospitalized?"

Cuddy blinked at him and then smiled, "That doesn't matter, what matters is that you need to eat."

House grinned at her, "Tell you what Lisa, for everything you take a bite of and swallow on that plate I'll eat the serving."

Cuddy smiled, "It's a deal, it can't be that bad." She said looking down at the lumpy food. Cuddy couldn't decide where to start since it all looked bad.

"What's wrong Lisa? Can't decide what yummyness you want to dive into first?" House asked with sarcasm pleased with himself.

Cuddy glared back at him, "It can't taste worse than it looks," she said and cut off a piece of some sort of meat patty that was covered in some sort of snot colored sauce. She looked at the bite with disgust, but opened her mouth and put it in.

House smiled as he watched her start to chew the bite and suddenly stop with a look of wanting to gag. "Maybe it can taste worse than it looks. Now remember the deal is you have to swallow it."

Cuddy started chewing again with a grimace and swallowed quickly grabbing Houses cup and taking several sips of water.

"Mmm, wasn't that tasty. Now what are you going to have a taste of?" He said looking over at the food. "Let's see I'm pretty sure that is pureed spinach, stewed squash, slice of bread, stewed prunes and red jello."

Cuddy figured she might as well get the worst over with and got spoon of the pureed spinach. She felt sick the moment she tasted it and couldn't stop her gagging reflex and spit it out into a napkin with watery eyes, "Okay you don't have to eat that one, no one should have to eat that one." Still trying to get the taste out of her mouth.

House gave her a victorious smile. "Now on to the squash."

Cuddy gave him a smile, "I like squash so that's not going to be a problem." She said getting a piece on her fork and putting it in her mouth. Her smiled faded as she chewed it, but after a couple of seconds she swallowed it. "How can they make things you love taste so bad?" She asked looking at House.

House shrugged, "It's like a magic trick that never stops." House looked at what was left on the plate, "All that's left is the prunes, I'm fine with the bread and Jello."

Cuddy looked at the small bowl of purple lumps floating in a gooey purple liquid. "Why are they in a liquid?" she asked looking at House.

"Because they get them canned, it might not be completely disgusting if they didn't and we can't have that." House said in a mocking tone as he watched her bravely put the spoon in and dig one out.

Cuddy put it in her mouth and chewed then stopped and tried again, and finally ended up spitting it out into the trash. She looked over at House still bent over the trash, "That was revolting, I'm not cruel enough to ask you to eat that." Cuddy said now wiping her mouth and walking back over to the bed.

House watched as she sat down on the edge of the bed and started cutting up the meat for him and then put a bite up to his mouth. "I can feed myself, I'm not that bad off." He said backing away.

Cuddy smiled back at him, "I know, but what is a girlfriend for if not to feed you in bed when you're ill."

House felt a lump in his throat and as he gave her a small smile and opened his mouth. After ten minutes House had finished what he had to eat on the plate. "Promise me you will get me some real food for lunch tomorrow." House said and gulped down some water to get rid of the taste in his mouth.

Cuddy smiled at him, "I'll see what I can't do. They should have your bandages off by then and then I'll be able to see that handsome face of yours." She said wagging her eyebrows.

"Yeah," House said somberly looking away from her.

Cuddy softly stroked his jaw and saw him close his eyes. She knew no words could really comfort him now so she got up and filled his cup with water. When she walked back in House was looking at her.

"Could you or Wilson get some of my medical journals, my laptop, and.. a mirror for me?" House asked hesitating on asking for a mirror slightly.

Cuddy swallowed, "Greg give it time. Wait until the swelling and bruises have gone, then I'll bring a mirror."

House's eyes widen, "How bad was it?"

Cuddy licked her lips and looked away from him, "The doctors said that they did the best they could, that you should look alright." She said with her voice cracking slightly.

House put his hand on hers, "Lisa look at me and tell me how bad it was?"

Cuddy looked down at him, "I couldn't recognize you." she said sadly.

House took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "Bring the mirror."

Cuddy sighed, "Fine, I'll bring it," she said gathering her things. "I have to go, but I'll be back tomorrow, try not to worry to much alright." She said giving him a smile.

House nodded and she left.


	27. Chapter 27: Mirror

Wilson was waiting in the parking lot of the hospital when Cuddy came out and got in the car. "Thanks Wilson for the ride. House wanted us to pick up some stuff at his place to bring to him before visiting." She said as she buckled her seat belt.

Wilson smiled, "He's been awake less than a day and he's already ordering us to do errands. I can't say I'm really surprised."

Cuddy looked over at him as they headed towards House's apartment, "You look a lot better, I'm guessing that you finally got some sleep."

Wilson sighed, "It's just such a relief that he woke up and seems to be himself for the most part. House had never discussed what he would want if he was in coma. I really should discuss it with him now that he has me down as his medical proxy."

Cuddy sighed, "It isn't something that most people think to discuss. No one thinks something like this will happen to them."

"What all did you two talk about last night?" Wilson asked.

Cuddy laughed, "He made me try his hospital food, which reminds me, we have to pick him something up. That was terrible. He's questioning if he's a bad man because he killed those men."

Wilson tightened his grip on the steering wheel, "He let them off way better than they deserved."

Cuddy nodded, "I told him that he was still a good man and that I was proud of him."

Wilson glanced over at her and then looked back at the road, "And what did he say to that."

Cuddy sighed, "He said that I see more good in him than there is."

Wilson parked and shook his head, "I bet a part of him thinks he deserved this for some past mistake or something."

"I don't understand it Wilson," Cuddy said looking at him. "How can he be so confident in one area of his life and have no confidence in other area's?"

Wilson frowned back at her, "How many time do you think someone has said that he was a good person? Now how many times to you think he's been criticized and told he was bad, selfish, cold, heartless or just plain evil? How many times have we, his closest friends called him those things? I'm pretty sure that's the ratio he goes by."

Cuddy got out of the car and Wilson followed, "You can't go by what other people say to determine what kind of person you are."

Wilson smiled, "Try telling House that." He said as he unlocked Houses door.

Cuddy walked in and looked around, "Everything looks so normal." she said looking for anything out of place.

Wilson looked to the bedroom which had it's door closed, "Everything happened in there."

Cuddy looked at the door and walked up to it and Wilson followed her. "We should probably not go in." Wilson said staring at the door.

"Well the police said it was released, but they never said if it had been cleaned. Do we really want him to finally come home to find out that it wasn't?" Cuddy asked.

Wilson sighed and opened the door. The floor was smeared with blood and the smell of it along with burnt flesh engulfed their senses. "Well evidently they didn't clean it." Wilson said trying to breath through his mouth to escape the odor.

Cuddy looked at all the blood that was now mainly dry and walked over to the bed. She could see the water stain that outlined his body along with blood and a urine stain. She closed her eyes and turned away from it. "I'll get him a new bed before he comes back here. I already promised him one."

Wilson looked at the floor and could see the foot prints in the blood of different shoes from the attacker to the police and paramedics, and then his eyes widened as he made out some barefoot prints by the bed. "He stood up on his feet after they branded them," Wilson said distantly and closed his eyes at just the idea of how much that had to hurt.

"What happened to the wall?" Cuddy asked looking a huge whole in it.

Wilson turned and looked at the wall, "I was so out of it when I found House I don't even remember seeing it." Wilson said now wondering if it had been House who had been thrown in the wall or one the attackers.

Cuddy hugged her self as she looked around at the aftermath of the fight and torture session. There was glass scattered from the bulb of a lamp that was laying in a dried pool of blood and she decided she had already seen more than she wanted and walked out leaning back against the wall in the hall and taking some deep breaths.

Wilson walked out and saw her, "It's going to alright, he's got some recovery time, but he's alright now." Wilson said rubbing her arm.

"I know it's just, I began to wonder how much crap he can take before he just looses it." Cuddy said looking up at Wilson, "I mean I'm surprised he's even still sane."

Wilson gave her a smile, "Well I do believe you're using the word sane lightly there."

Cuddy looked up at him with worried eyes, "I'm serious Wilson, I'm surprised after all he's been through he hadn't put a bullet in his head or just turned into a mumbling lunatic who's locked away in some sort of institution."

Wilson nodded, "He's strong Cuddy. House doesn't need much to be okay, he never has. A couple of friends, pain medication for his leg, and something to keep his mind occupied. House doesn't expect anything more than that out of life."

"That's sad," Cuddy said, "If that's what it takes to make him okay, what does it take to make him happy?"

Wilson gave her a half smile, "I think you've been doing a good job at that already."

Cuddy smiled slightly, "You think I make him happy?"

Wilson gave a small laugh, "I know you do."

Cuddy smiled, "Well we better get this stuff together and get on the road, we still have to pick up food. He said he wanted his laptop, medical journals, and a mirror." She said looking around.

Wilson stopped her, "Do you think a mirror is a good idea?"

Cuddy sighed, "No I don't, but he wouldn't listen."

Wilson didn't like the idea but knew that if they didn't bring one House would find a way of getting a hold of one on his own. "Alright you get the mirror and laptop and I'll find a box to put some of his medical journals in."

Cuddy walked in House's room to find him holding on to the right wrist of a nurse who was trying to inject him with something. "What's going on in here?" Cuddy commanded as if it were her hospital.

The nurse turned to the door way to see Cuddy and now Wilson standing beside her with a box and bags in his hands. "Can you get him to let go of me?" The nurse asked struggling to get loose.

"House let go of her," Cuddy said calmly.

House shook his head, "No she's trying to knock me out."

Wilson put down the box, "House I'm sure she isn't trying to knock you out." He said with his hands on his hips.

"Oh yes I am, this idiot took off the splint on his right hand and wont let me put it back on." The nurse said looking at Wilson and Cuddy.

"House let go of her and let her put the splint back on," Cuddy said walking to the foot of the bed.

"She a God damn nurse and I'm a doctor. If I say my hand is fine, it's fine. The bones are set good enough." House said frustrated.

Wilson walked over to the side of the bed, "Let go of her House," He said with a warning look.

"Take the syringe from her and I will," House said staring up at the nurse with distrust.

Wilson took the syringe out of the nurses hand and House let go of the woman. Wilson immediately grabbed House wrist and pinned it to the bed railing with his hand. "What the hell do you think you're doing House, this isn't your hospital, where everyone just let what you do slide. They are trying to make you better let them. House, are you even listening to me?" Wilson said watching House and then following his gaze. Wilson swallowed when he noticed he was holding House's arm down right were the restraint bruises were. Wilson could feel the shaking of his arm under his hand and looked up to see House staring at it with a slightly trembling lip and panicked breathing. Wilson let go and House pulled the arm back to his abdomen swallowing convulsively with his head turned away from him.

The nurse stepped away watching him, "What the hell is wrong with him?" She asked waving her hand in his eyesight and noticing he wasn't reactive.

"He's suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Four men tied him down and did all this to him." Wilson say watching House with guilty eyes, "Someone coming out of that kind of situation needs to be in complete control over what happens to their body, because they no longer trust others not to hurt them."

The nurse looked at House who still seemed to be in his own world and sighed, "I'm not going to press any charges but please see if you can get him to wear his splint. Dr. Tucker isn't going to be happy if he finds out that it's off." She said walking out.

Cuddy walked to were the nurse had been standing. "Greg?" She said looking at his big glassy eyes. She slowly moved her hand to his shoulder and he jerked back blinking at her.

"I... I'm... f.. fine," House said stuttering his words.

Cuddy frowned, "Greg is it okay if I put your splint back on. We can try to convince your Doctor to let you take it off, when he comes in to take off the bandages, but until then you need to wear it."

House looked at her with fear as he grabbed her hand, "It's my body, no one has the right to do anything to me without my consent."

"You're right, now will you let me put your splint back on, please." Cuddy asked wondering if he was even seeing her.

House nodded and put his right hand out to her. Cuddy started fixing the splint when he jerked his hand away and she let go looking at him. House looked at her with questioning eyes and then after a couple of seconds he swallowed and put his hand back out so that she could continue.

Cuddy realized he had been testing her, to see if she would stop if he changed his mind and was relieved that she had evidently passed.

Wilson looked at House with sorrowful eyes, "House, I shouldn't..."

"I don't want to talk about it!" House said loudly interrupting him. "Let's just forget that it happened."

Wilson swallowed doubting that either of them would ever forget, "You ready to eat?"

House looked over at the paper sack, "Yes the stuff they serve in here is so bad a dog would starve."

Wilson smiled slightly glad to hear House sounding like himself. "We got you fish tacos with guacamole and sour cream on them."

House gave Wilson a small smile, "See I can't stay mad at you, you know what I like to eat."

Wilson got the food out for House, he had gotten him four so that he could have the nurses put the other two back up for later, but House ate all of them while Cuddy wrapped up the splint for his hand with new tape

"Well it looks like you've got an appetite, that's good." Wilson said surprised at the amount of food House consumed.

House leaned back, "More like I'm not feeling so nauseous that I can't eat. The morphine is keeping the pain down with out making me feel sick."

Cuddy looked at him, "Speaking of pain what number are you on?"

House looked from her to Wilson, "I'm at a four to five."

Cuddy looked at him disappointed, "Dr. Roth said you need to stay at a three or less."

House sighed, "Yeah well Dr. Roth meant under normal circumstances, I'm already keeping at my maximum dose of morphine. I'm fine really quit worrying."

Cuddy rubbed his arm, "I'd worry less if you would just let them transfer you to our Hospital."

House gave her a look of annoyance, "I'm not doing that."

Dr. Tucker walked in, "Well the mighty Dr. House rises." He said with his Russian accent.

House gave him a smile, "От какой части России являются Вами?" (What part of Russia are you from?)

Dr. Tucker blinked with surprise and cracked the first smile Cuddy or Wilson had seen. "Omsk," he responded, "Где вы научились говорить на русском?" (Where did you learn to speak Russian?)

House shrugged, "В Новосибирске. Мой отец служил на американской базе морской там." (In Novosibirsk. My father was stationed at the US Marine base there.)

Cuddy and Wilson looked at the two with a dumbfounded expression.

Dr. Tucker looked at House with interest, "Так что ваш отец был военным человеком. Были ли вы военный, а?" (So your father was a military man. Were you a military man as well?)

"Восемь лет в морской пехоте." (Eight years in the Marines.) House said and then looked at his hand with disgust. "Это проклятая штуковина на мою руку сводит меня с ума. Я клянусь, не борется, если вы можете просто взять его." (This damn contraption on my hand is driving me nuts. I swear no fights if you can just take it off.)

Dr. Tucker gave a hearty chuckle and walked over looking at House's right hand and felt around. "It's set well enough, but no heavy lifting for at least two weeks."

House sighed, "Спасибо, вы действительно добрый человек." (Thank you, you are truly a kind man.)

Tucker smiled and shook his head, "Well you don't seem to have lost any brain function." Tucker said taking off the splint that Cuddy had just fixed.

Wilson looked at House, "So you speak Russian?"

House smiled, "Who doesn't?" He asked rolling his eyes in a dramatic way.

Wilson looked at House with annoyance, "What did you two say?"

House shrugged, "He's trying to sell me nuclear weapons and if I buy them in bulk he'll throw in a hot wife for you."

Tucker started laughing as he finally got the splint off of House's hand. "Ваша жена звуки расстроен." (Your wife sounds upset.)

House laughed hard, "Не знаете и половины. Он клячи меня хуже, чем моя подруга." (You don't know the half of it. He nags me worse than my girlfriend.)

Tucker looked at Cuddy, "Является ли она ваша?" (Is she yours?)

House gave a shy smile, "Трудно поверить, не так ли. Она так умны, как она красива. Я хотел бы сделать что-нибудь для нее." (Hard to believe isn't it. She's as smart as she is beautiful. I would do anything for her.)

Tucker started taking the bandages off of House's face, "Вы рассказали ей о возможности из вас, имея Янгс условия?" (Have you told her about the possibility of you having Youngs condition?)

House looked at Cuddy and closed his eyes, "Существует не нужно, я его прекращению." (There is no need, I'm ending it.) He opened his eyes again and swallowed, "Я не могу поставить ее жизнь под угрозу. Это не так, как это бы продолжалось в любом случае, я имею в виду смотреть на нее и смотреть на меня." (I can't put her life at risk. It's not like it would have lasted anyway, look at her and then look at me.) House said now looking at Tucker.

Tucker sighed, "У вас уже есть много, чтобы оправиться от Вы уверены, что добавление разбитое сердце в список является хорошей идеей?" (You already have a lot to recover from, you sure adding a broken heart to the list is a good idea?)

Cuddy and Wilson watched as his face was finally revealed. There were large cuts that had been stitched up on his face which was still bruised and swollen. His nose seemed pretty straight, but his cheekbones seemed uneven now.

"Нет, но я уверен, что это лучший для нее." (No, but I'm sure its the best for her.) House said. He could tell that all the bandages where off his face and looked at Wilson and Cuddy. "Where's the mirror?" He asked.

Cuddy sighed and grabbed the mirror and handed it to House.

House took the mirror in his left hand and looked in it. His right hand traced the cuts and his cheekbone that now seemed slightly lower. "I don't remember getting cuts on my face."

Tucker looked at him, "You didn't, your skin split from the impact of being hit so hard so many times. If it had been cuts it would have been easier to stitch with out leaving scars, but when the skin tears and splits it's not as smooth."

House nodded and put the mirror down on the bed.

Cuddy walked over to the left side of House since Tucker was on the right side. "After the swelling and bruises go away it'll look better." She said barely holding his left cheek and then she leaned down and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

House closed his eyes at her comforting touches. "Did you bring the journals and my laptop?"

Wilson put the laptop on the rolling tray cart and put the box of journals beside House.

Cuddy gave House a sad look, "I have to go back to work, but I'll stop back by tonight."

"You know you can take a night off from me if you want. I'm sure Rachel misses you." House said.

Cuddy smiled, "Tell you what I'll bring her tonight. Then you both get to see me."

House gave her a small smile, "Sounds good."

Cuddy walked back over and gave him a longer kiss and pulled away, "Be good," She said with a grin and gave his hand a squeeze then walked out with Wilson following.

"I'll be right back, just need to give her a lift." Wilson said disappearing out the door.

House was still staring and the door as his left hand was touching where she had kissed him.

Tucker shook his head, "From what I hear you are suppose to be a genius, so tell me how you are stupid enough to let go of a beautiful woman like that."

House looked over at Tucker with and sighed, "She deserves better than me and it's only a matter of time before she realizes it."

Tucker walked to the door, "No, she deserves to be happy, which she is with you." He said leaving House to think about his words.


	28. Chapter 28: More Cracks in a Glass Heart

House had finally decided that dragging it out would only make things worse. The more time he spent around her the more he found to love about her, and the more he dreaded having to end the relationship. House swallowed hard and looked at Wilson, it was Wednesday evening, almost seven and Cuddy was suppose to be there any minute. "Hey Wilson, you mind grabbing me something to eat at Nikoto for dinner?"

Wilson shrugged, "Sure anything special or do you just want me to get you something I think you'll like."

"Whatever you pick is fine, just no water chestnuts." House said putting away the medical journal he had been trying to read.

Wilson got up putting on his coat. "Why do you always say no water chestnuts, when you already know that I know you don't eat them?"

"Because last year you got me something that had water chestnuts in it." House said in a belittling way.

Wilson sighed in frustration, "How many times do I have to tell you, the description didn't say anything about water chestnuts?"

House just stared back at him with a smile.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "You only do this to annoy me."

House smiled bigger, "That's one of the perks, but I also have never seen a water chestnut again."

Wilson shook his head and left, as he was leaving the building he ran into Cuddy. "Hey, so where he got you going this time." Cuddy asked.

Wilson smiled, "Another food run, I swear he's going to be one of the few patient to gain weight in the hospital."

Cuddy smiled, "Well it's not like he couldn't use some extra weight he's been underweight ever since the leg surgery."

Wilson nodded, "Yeah, but it would be nice if he could pick places that delivered. I feel like I'm a delivery service for every restaurant in town."

Cuddy smiled back, "You could say no."

Wilson sighed, "He'd end up convincing one way or another, it just easier to go a head and get the food." He said and started walking to his car.

Cuddy walked into House's room and put her stuff down in one of the chairs and walked over to give him a kiss. She was confused when he pulled back. "Greg? Is something wrong."

House looked at her and sighed, "Lisa we need to talk."

Cuddy could tell this wasn't going to be good. She sat down on the side of his bed, "Why? What's happened?" She asked watching him.

House closed his eyes, "We have to end this," he said and swallowed. He could feel his heart breaking as the words left his mouth.

Cuddy didn't know what to say for a minute. She had known it wasn't good news, but she hadn't expected this. Last night when she had brought Rachel everything seemed to be going so good. "Why do you want to end it?" She asked trying to stay calm and as her heart raced.

House looked at her with sad eyes, "I don't, but.." House shook his head, "look at me. What would have happened if you had been there when they came?"

Cuddy frowned, "I don't see what that has to do with us."

House put his hand on top of hers, "I don't want anything to happen to you because of me."

Cuddy looked at him with confusion, "What do you think is going to happen to me? It's not like you have tons of people looking for you to hurt you and the ones you love. You aren't some kind of spy gone rouge, you're a doctor."

House gave her a sad smile, "I'm a doctor that pisses everyone off and now that I killed three army guys it's possible that I pissed off even more people."

Cuddy shook her head, "You are being paranoid, no one is coming for vengeance Greg. You aren't on someones list of people to kill. I know what happened to you is scary but it was a one time event."

"Really?" House said looking at her seriously, "And me getting shot, what was that?"

Cuddy swallowed, "A crazy coincidence, that guy had to have been nuts. He could have shot any of us." She said slightly panicked.

"You don't know that. And where is he Lisa?" House asked now squeezing her hand slightly, "How do you know he won't come back and follow me home. What if we continue this and I come home and find that he waited until I had something to loose and killed you and Rachel." House hoped throwing Rachel into the mix would help her to let go.

Cuddy's eyes widened at what he was saying. "Greg, that's not going to happen. It is over, you have to let it go. No one wants to hurt you?"

House scoffed, "What about Tritter, and Vogler, and all of the patients who have punched me? Don't you get it? Fucked up things happen to me because I'm a fucked up person. I piss people off. I always have and always will. Things aren't going to stop happening to me and I don't want you and Rachael getting hurt in the process." House looked at Cuddy with truthful eyes, "Look at what Tritter did to Wilson's life because he was pissed at me, what do you think he would have done to yours if we had been dating?"

Cuddy was loosing her cool, "Well maybe if you hadn't left a thermometer up his ass then none of that would ever have happened. Maybe you could try and not piss people off if you care about this relationship."

House could feel his heart racing as her voice rose and tried to stay as calm as possible, "He started it."

Cuddy laughed, "Really House, what did he do? Did he interrupt your soaps or what?"

"He tripped me! He made me fall into a medicine cabinet and then acted like I didn't know what I was talking about and just didn't want to do the stupid test because I was a cane." House said with anger.

Cuddy looked at him surprised, "But, then why didn't you say anything?"

"Because no one asked. Not Wilson, not you, not human resources. No one cared if he had done something to me. No one asked what happened during the 48 hours he had me in a holding cell before he let me make a call. No ONE!" House yelled.

Wilson stepped in on the end of the rant, "House you need to calm down you heart rate is through the roof."

"Get the fuck out Wilson." House barked still looking at Cuddy.

Cuddy's lip shook as she looked at him, "Did he do something to you? Did Tritter... hurt you?"

House's eyes suddenly got very cold and calm, "He didn't do anything that hasn't been done to me before." He said in a low calm voice.

Cuddy swallowed, "Greg, you could have told me. Why didn't you tell me?" She asked moving her hand to hold his face.

House pulled away from her hand, "Don't call me that anymore. I told you we are through."

"This is stupid," Cuddy said shaking her head at him, "If you do this than you are letting them win. You are letting everyone that has ever hurt you win."

House sighed and leaned back on his pillow looking at her in complete defeat, "Then I guess they won, because I'm not changing my mind."

Cuddy stood up and looked at him with disappointment, "I've known you to be a lot of things House, but never a coward. But that's what you are right now a FUCKING COWARD!" Cuddy watched as House flinched back. "You are going to die a sad lonely death all because you are too afraid. Let me tell you a secret House, you aren't to fucked up for someone to care about you, you are just too fucked up to let anyone care about you. Don't ever come to me again about us." Cuddy watched as House swallowed hard. "After this I'm through with it, you can punish yourself all you want, but leave me out of it! I hope your happy being miserable because that's all you will ever be because anyone that gets too close, you have to push away." Cuddy looked at him with anger, "Look at you shaking and jerking, God your pathetic."

House felt like all her words had been a shot right in the chest and had to get her out before he broke, "Get the Hell OUT!" He screamed with all the strength he had left.

"MY PLEASURE!" She yelled back and stomped out grabbing her things. Wilson, who was still standing in the door way with food moved for her.

"Good luck Wilson," She said leaving.

"What the hell did you do?" Wilson asked House and put down the food quickly and left trying to catch up to Cuddy.

He didn't have to go far. He found her down the hall in tears. Wilson pulled her to him and let her cry for a while.

Jackie had started down the hall towards House's room and stopped when she saw Cuddy crying and Wilson comforting her. She knew House had stuck to his word and turned around.

"He's going through a lot right now, maybe after all of this is over he'll change his mind." Wilson said holding Cuddy.

"No Wilson, I can't go through this again. He's hurt me for the last time." She said as she tried to calm down.

"I'm so sorry he did this to you and when I go back in there I'm going to give him a piece of my mind." Wilson said looking at her as she wiped away her tears.

Cuddy straightened her self up, "I'm just mad at myself for getting up my hopes. He's an ass I should have suspected this."

Wilson put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey if you ever need to talk or just rant about how much of an ass he is you can always call me."

Cuddy gave him a sad smile, "I appreciate that Wilson, please keep me up on his recovery."

Wilson watched as Cuddy got into the elevator. Then he looked towards House's room and walked in ready to lay into him. But what he saw had him stunned. House was sobbing so hard the bed was shaking. Wilson walked in slowly and closed the door.

House saw him and tried to catch his breath, "She's... gone?" He asked.

Wilson nodded unable to speak and watched as House cried even harder. He was hardly making a sound except for the ragged breaths and the bed that squeaked as it shook. Wilson felt just as lost as he had the one other time he had witnessed House do this. Wilson sat down in one of the chairs not looking at House to give him some privacy, but he didn't feel right about leaving him like this.

Over and hour passed before House finally seemed to have calmed down. Wilson couldn't help but wonder if all the tears he had pushed away in the last fifteen years had just refused to be pushed back any longer. He slowly turned his head to see House just staring straight ahead at nothing with a runny nose and red blotches on top of the healing bruises all over his face. "Why did you break up with her?" Wilson asked.

House swallowed, "Young..." House wiped at his nose, "The fucking bastard had HIV."

Wilson looked at House confused and worried.

House took a ragged breath, "His blood was all over me, I was just coated in it when I ripped his throat."

Wilson eyes widened, "Did you just find this out today?"

House shook his head, "No... Jackie told me... Monday night. I've been on PEP's ever since."

Wilson didn't think that things could get any worse than what the men had already done to House, but evidently he was wrong. Wilson stood up and walked over to House reaching a hand out to his shoulder.

House jerked away, "Don't fucking touch me, don't ever touch me again! I'm like a God Damn vile of poison!" House said in a horse voice as he wiped away the tears that he didn't seem able to stop. "That's why I had to... I didn't want to contaminate her."

Wilson looked up and sighed. Cuddy didn't know how right she was when she said that they had won. They had truly made him afraid to love anyone. Wilson looked down at House, "You could have talked to her about it, maybe..."

"Do you have any idea how long she's been waiting for a baby?" House said interrupting him. "She's happy now, I'm not going to ask her to risk her life to be with me." House swallowed, "No she's better off with out me and my fucked up problems. If you had any sense at all you'd stay the hell away from me too."

Wilson gave him a smile for show, "Good thing for you I don't."

House closed his eyes, "I had hoped that if... somehow I didn't catch it, I could explain it to her and ask her for another shot. But it doesn't look like she'd ever consider it again." House said with out hope.

Wilson stood there silent for a while. He wanted to give House comfort and hope, but not false hope. "You're right, she might not, but you are doing this because you care more about her safety than your feelings. If you don't have it and talk to her there's a chance she will understand your reasoning in a impossible situation. You won't know until you try."


	29. Chapter 29: Bathroom Adventures

Wilson wasn't surprised when he came to see House on Saturday morning and he still was depressed. House had always had a problem with depression even if he wouldn't admit it. There was good news though, his bruises had significantly started to fade away and he was already doing exercises with his right hand. He also was now able to wear a light hospital gown so he wasn't just laying there nude with bandages and a scrap of material.

"Hey House," Wilson said sitting down in one of the chairs and sighing as he saw that House was watching one of his medical drama shows again. "Wasn't this one on yesterday?"

House sat there with a brooding look on his face and shrugged in response to Wilson.

Wilson tried to make conversation, "So how have your hand exercises been going."

House shrugged again not speaking.

Wilson had been getting tired of this for the last couple of day. "You want me to get us something to eat?"

"Not hungry." House said never taking his eyes of the TV.

"Hey I got you to talk that's new," Wilson said with a smile.

Wilson could see House narrow his eye even thought he was still looking at the TV. "So how long do you plan on doing this? You know the whole silent treatment and hardly eating."

House glared at Wilson and then looked back at the TV.

"Jackie said you got into it with another nurse." Wilson said seeing Houses jaw flex. "What's that two times since you broke up with Cuddy. House?" He rolled his eyes as House just sat there, and finally decided he had enough he walked over and unplugged the TV.

House gave Wilson a look like he was about to start yelling and then let out a heavy breath of air from his nose and leaned back in his bed and closed his eyes.

Wilson shook his head and walked over to House. "House what happened with the nurse? I need to know."

House turned his head away from Wilson and Wilson had the suspicion that if he had covers he would have them pulled up over his head.

Jackie walked in and House looked over at her. "Alright asshole you listen to me and you listen good you've been into it with too many of my nurses." Jackie looked over at Wilson, "He got into with another one of my nurses this morning. That's Thursday, Friday, and now today. This shit has to stop or we'll have to put restraints on him."

"You fucking trying it and it'll be the last thing you do." House said almost growling as he leaned toward her.

Jackie looked at him with a worried expression and then turned to Wilson, "He's loosing it. It's not going to be long before he hurts himself or someone else."

"He wont tell me what he got into it with the nurse about." Wilson said looking at her.

Jackie looked at House, "This morning he didn't want her changing his gown so he kept holding her back and yelling until she finally gave up."

"I can change my own gown, I told her that." House said looking at her.

"It's her job to help you and to make sure you aren't getting sores since you can't move well." Jackie say at him.

"What happened yesterday?" Wilson said staring at House.

Jackie sighed, "He pushed a nurse."

Wilson too was now giving House a worried look.

House looked at them and then away, "I told you I didn't mean to. I even apologized to her."

"What do you mean you didn't mean too?" Wilson asked troubled by Houses actions and words.

"I was asleep and I woke up and could feel pressure on my arm, so I looked to find a hand there and someone leaning over me, I freaked a little that's all." House said.

"Can we talk outside?" Wilson asked Jackie.

Jackie nodded and walked outside with him.

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you not to let the nurse's touch him with out his permission? He's been through something no one should have to go through, then he found out he might be HIV positive and ended the only relationship he's had in 10 years. I can get him to change his gowns and check him for sores it that is what it takes but tell your nurses to keep their damn hands off of him unless he okays it first." Wilson said with irritation.

Jackie shook her head, "You don't get it. Listen I feel sorry for the guy, but my main objective is to make sure he's getting better medically and we can't do that with out touching him. We've been waiting until he's asleep and we knock him out to put on more ointment and wash his burns, but now he hardly sleeps anymore. The nurse that was in there was trying to give him some Ativan to give us a couple of hours to clean his skin and put on ointment, but he woke up and freaked out. Now I'm sure you know what's going to happen if we can't properly treat his burns."

"It'll put him at risk for an infection," he sighed.

"He can't afford what kind of set back that might have on his recovery. With burns like his he has to knocked out, the cleaning of his skin would just be too painful and I would ask him to let us knock him out but you know he'd never agree to it." Jackie said and then put her hand on Wilson's shoulder, "Believe me we are doing all that we can for him, but if things don't change we may not have any other choice but to restrain him and give him something to keep him calm."

Wilson was getting frustrated, "I understand that you want to get him better, believe me that's what I want too. But... if you do this, if you put restraints on him and keep him doped up, especially now after what happened, he may never trust anyone again. I'm the closest friend he has and he hardly trust me right now, hell he's hardly talking to me. House is fighter, physically I think he can just about make it through anything but emotionally... he's always had a hard time." Wilson looked at Jackie's questioning eyes. "When I met him he wasn't crippled, he had been with his girlfriend for a little over four years and he was happy and then his leg happened and his girlfriend, who cheated on him and had always been abusive, left him only a month later."

Jackie swallowed, "By abusive you mean what exactly?"

Wilson looked down, "Emotionally and physically even after his surgery. It took him fifteen years to finally give love another shot and then this happens. I don't know how much more he can take emotionally before he looses it and if that ever happens I'm afraid we'll never get him back."

Jackie frowned, "I understand you're scared. I've tried to get him to talk to one our of the psychologist but he keeps refusing. I wish there was more we could do for him in that regard but there just isn't. So I'm trying my best to get him better physically for the moment."

Wilson ran his hands through his hair and over his face. "Alright maybe if we both just go in there and talk to him calmly we can get through to him." Wilson said and then let out a heavy sigh and opened the door. Wilson blinked and looked around.

Jackie looked around him and ran into the room looking at the empty bed. She could see blood on the floor so she walked over to it and saw a smeared trail that was ended by the closed bathroom door.

As soon as House had heard the mention of restraints he knew he had to get out of there. So he unhooked himself from the machines took out his morphine and IV drip then pushed himself off the bed. He cringed as he felt the burn on his leg rip open then grabbed his cell phone and dragged himself into the restroom locking it. House breathed heavily as he leaned against the wall across from the door and looked at his phone. All the sudden like a ton of bricks it hit him, he had no one to call. He closed his eyes and knew the minute Wilson had walked out with Jackie he would turn on him, and Cuddy didn't want anything to do with him she wouldn't care, she wouldn't come. House could feel himself sweating as he started to panic, there was no way of calling the team with out them finding out what all happened.

Wilson was now standing by Jackie and tried the door which was locked. "House open the door."

House didn't hear him as his head was throbbing and his heart was pounding at the idea of being stuck in this place with no way out. He could already see them strapping him down in his mind and decided he wouldn't let them take him. He opened his eyes and looked at the small cave he had gotten himself corned into he grabbed a old dirt covered piece of cloth and wrapped it around his leg, putting pressure on it to help stop the bleeding. He could hear the faint foot steps and knew they were getting close as he looked around for weapons. He smiled as he saw that there were grenades all round him and gathered them up dumping them in his lap. If he was going to have to go he was taking them all with him.

Wilson had been pounding on the door for a couple of minutes, when he finally stopped. "Alright we need a key to this door and it would be a good idea to get some male nurses in case we have to drag him out."

Jackie nodded, "I'm also getting some Ativan before he ends up hurting himself or anyone else."

"It's probably for the best," Wilson said in a defeated tone.

Jackie was back in four minutes with three male nurses and two security guards and unlocked the door.

House could see the dust move as he saw them at the mouth of the small cave. They were the Pakistan's his unit had been trying to kill for the last two days. " أنت ذاهب الى جميع يموت يا ابناء الكلبات." (You are all going to die you son of bitches.) He screamed.

The intire group looked around at eachother in confusion as House hurled a phone at them and smiled with victory.

Cuddy looked down at her cell phone that was ring and saw that it was House. She sighed trying to decide if she should answer and finally accepted the call.

House saw the grenade bounce off of one of them and land by there feet and explode, but was utterly shocked when the men stood there staring him down with flesh torn off and hanging from their bodies. "ما يمارس الجنس مع أنت؟ " (What the fuck are you?) He asked with wide eyes in almost a whisper. Then threw another grenade in the middle of them.

"Hello," Cuddy said and could hear noise followed by a man speaking Arabic. Cuddy looked down at her phone with confusion and made sure it was suppose to be House.

Wilson walked through the group and looked at House.

"Fuck Hobbs, what the hell are these guys. Get your ass over here." House yelled at him.

Wilson realized that House was talking to him and walked over to him.

House grabbed some soap bars and shampoos and handed them to Wilson, "Wake up solder this is war, take these and we'll take out as many as we can, and if you see a way out take it. Don't try to be a hero and come back for me, just go you got it?"

Wilson gave House a worried look, "House where are you?"

Cuddy blinked in confusion as she listened to the conversation on the other end of the phone. "House? Wilson? Can you hear me?" She asked

"What do you mean, I'm in Pakistan just like you. Now lets get to it Hobbs." House said looking at him as if he was crazy and tossing another grenade out.

Wilson closed his eyes for a moment and then grabbed both of Houses arms firmly, "House we aren't in Pakistan we are in Princeton New Jersey. I'm not Hobbs, I'm your friend Wilson. They aren't the enemy they are nurse who are trying to make you better. House let them make you better, please for me." Wilson had tears in his eyes as he finished.

"What did they do to you, did they give you some kind of drug are something? Snap out of it Hobbs, we can still win this!" House said then looked at the Pakistan's standing at the mouth of the cave with rage, "ماذا فعلتم له الله عليك لعنة الزنوج ال " (What did you do to him you god dammit?)

Wilson tightened his grip as he felt House jerk towards them and looked at him with sad eyes.

"Hobbs let me go!" House yelled at him.

"House, this is for your own good. I hope someday you'll understand I have no choice." Wilson said holding on tight.

House's eyes looked at him with disbelief, "Don't do this Hobbs! They are just using you! No Hobbs let me go!" He yelled as he saw the Pakistanis move closer one of them holding a pistol at him.

Cuddy swallowed as she heard the shear panic in Houses voice.

Wilson wasn't able to hold House still, but he was able to keep his arms down so that the security guards could get a good hold on him and then he held his legs afraid that House would hurt himself more trying to defend himself with them.

"No... get the hell away from me, NO!" House yelled as he saw them shoot him in arm. He watched the blood flow from the wound and started to get light headed, "Hobbs don't let them kill you, I know you are a good man. I know that part of you is still there." House barely mumbled the last part as his body went limp and he was out.

Wilson let go of House's calf's and scooted away from him.

"House!" Cuddy screamed on the phone and Wilson looked over at the phone and picked it up as the men picked House up and carried him back to the bed with gloved hands.

"Hello," Wilson said.

Cuddy swallowed, "Wilson, what happened?"

Wilson looked at House and shook his head, "I'm not sure, you mind coming by later?"

Cuddy felt nervous, "Wilson I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"No, don't worry about it Cuddy you're not dating him anymore it's not your problem." Wilson said full of anger.

Cuddy was surprised by his sudden change in tone, "Wilson it's not like that, it's just I don't want to upset him anymore than he is."

"Oh I have a feeling he isn't going to be aware enough to even know." Wilson said bitterly.

Cuddy knew it was still going to be awkward for her, but could tell Wilson needed her. "I'll be over in an hour, we can get something to eat."

"Great," Wilson said in a defeated tone and hung up.

Cuddy made it there in 45 minutes and peeked in the open door of Houses room. She could see House staring at nothing in the corner with a blank look and walked in slowly.

"Hey," Wilson said from one of the chairs.

Cuddy looked over at him and gave him a small smile, "Hey," she said back and walked over to House. He had padded restraints on all of his limbs and didn't respond to her at all. She frowned as she could see a bandage around his thigh that was half soaked in blood. "House?" She said and waved a hand in front of him, but he didn't respond.

"Don't worry he doesn't know you're even here. They've been sure to keep him heavily medicated so he's just pretty much a vegetable right now." Wilson said watching House.

Cuddy walked over to Wilson, "Where do you want to get food so we can talk?"

Wilson sighed, "I'll just call a place that delivers I don't feel comfortable leaving him right now."

Cuddy nodded, "Sounds good."

Wilson called a close Chinese place and ordered for him and Cuddy then hung up the phone and leaned back in the chair.

"So, what happened?" Cuddy asked sitting down in the chair beside him.

Wilson laughed bitterly, "He lost it. He had a psychotic brake." He looked over at House and shook his head, "Cuddy he didn't even know who I was, or where he was. He.. he thought he was in Pakistan back in the Marines, he was throwing soap at us as if it was explosives." Wilson chuckled slightly, "You know it would be funny if it had scared the shit out of me."

Cuddy looked at him, "Wilson this is House when is he not scaring the shit out of people. That's what he does, but he'll be alright in the end he always is."

Wilson scoffed still looking at House, "Like you would know, when were you there? You didn't check up with him after his leg, or after Stacy left. You didn't keep up with how he was doing after the Ketimin treatment failed, or during the Tritter investigation."

Cuddy looked from Wilson to House, "I felt like the last thing he needed during those times was to see me."

Wilson looked at her with frustration, "All he needed was to know that someone cared, that someone in his life wouldn't just walk out on him because he made a mistake."

Cuddy looked at him with a hurt expression not knowing what to say.

Wilson looked away, "Sorry, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself."

"But why are you mad at yourself Wilson? You haven't done anything wrong, you were there for him." Cuddy said watching him.

Wilson looked at her and shrugged, "Sometime I was, sometimes I wasn't. I was too worried about teaching him a lesson to realize that the Ketimin treatment hadn't worked. During the Tritter investigation I turned on him, I ratted him out." Wilson gave a small half laugh, "He's right, I never asked what Tritter had done to him. I just assumed that he was in the wrong and was being stubborn, it never even occurred to me that Tritter might have done something to him." Wilson shook his head, "What kind of best friend doesn't even ask? Then he risked his life to save Amber and what did I do, I walked out on our friendship and told him I wasn't even sure we ever were friends. I acted like he had done something wrong when he had risked everything to try and save her."

Cuddy sighed, "So you haven't always been there for him. It's not like he's been the best friend to you. There is no reason for you to feel guilty for not being perfect he sure as hell doesn't."

Wilson looked at her stunned by her coldness, "You have no idea how much he's been there for me. He's been there to help me though every divorce. He went to the lawyers with me, talked me through my depressions, and then pushed me to let go and date again every time. He's been in all of my wedding on time and dressed formally even thought he hates weddings. He's been happy for me and wished me the best even if he didn't think I was with someone that was really good for me. House strongly disagrees with cheating and yet he's never thrown it in my face when I was getting divorced." Wilson gave her a small smile, "He'd kill me if he ever finds out I told you this, but when I'm sick, suddenly a delivery guy comes to the door with egg drop soup that's already been paid for. Some how he always knows I'm going to be sick even before I do. House may not seem like it, but he's a good friend. He's never asked me to sacrifice anything for him or our friendship. I'm not saying I never have made sacrifices but he's never asked me too or even expected it."

Cuddy looked at House, "So is being his friend worth all of this?"

"He didn't ask for this, you know that right?" Wilson asked with a calm anger.

"I didn't say he did, but he does get in a lot of messes. I'm just asking if his friendship is really worth all of the headache." Cuddy said still looking at House.

"Wow, you really can't wait for him to get to that sad lonely death you were telling him about can you?" Wilson asked angered by her insensitivity. "You know you may get it sooner than you ever dreamed."

Cuddy looked at him with worry for the first time since she had gotten there, "What do you mean by that? You know I didn't mean what I said, I was just so mad at him."

"I'm not sure if he's going to really come back." Wilson said looking at House, "I'm not sure he had enough to come back for. He's been living in constant pain for the past decade, he's scared he'll never be able to walk again, he just broke up with his girlfriend and might have..." Wilson suddenly stopped himself.

"Might have what?" Cuddy asked

"Might have lost his mind," Wilson said quickly.

Cuddy looked at him as if she wasn't sure that was what he was about to say, but then smiled at him, "He's got a good friend."

"A good friend," Wilson repeated, "So I guess you aren't his friend anymore?"

Cuddy looked at House, "I know it's wrong, but I can't help but still be mad at him right now. Even with all that he's going through, I'm mad, because he hurt me Wilson."

Wilson frowned, "I know he did, but it hurt him too."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to speak when Wilson stood up in front of her.

"Don't you dare roll your eyes at how much it hurt him to end it with you! He was sobbing so hard when I came back in here that the bed was fucking shaking! The only other time I've seen him like that was when Stacy left him! It was over an hour before he calmed down enough to even speak!" Wilson said furiously.

Cuddy looked at him shocked and then at House, "But then why did he do it?" She asked partly confused partly angered.

"Because he cares more about your safety than what he wants." Wilson said starting to calm down some.

Cuddy looked at him as if he was crazy, "So now you believe that he is a marked man that people are coming after too?"

"No," Wilson said.

"So then there isn't any real threat," Cuddy said with certainty.

Wilson sighed, "No, there is a real threat, it just isn't people coming after him."

Cuddy shook her head and thought about what he was saying, "Then what is it?"

Wilson looked away from her, "I can't tell you that."

"Oh this is just great," Cuddy said with irritation, "He tells you what the hell is going on but decides not to tell me why he broke it off."

"I told you he's trying to protect you," Wilson said.

"From what Wilson?" Cuddy asked.

Wilson swallowed, "Maybe if he comes out of this you should ask him that."

Cuddy gritted her teeth, "And the only possible way for him to protect me was to break up with me?"

Wilson closed his eyes, "No, but he felt it was the safest thing to do."

"Since when does House care about being safe?" Cuddy asked with skepticism.

Wilson shrugged, "He doesn't when it's his safety but he isn't going to risk yours."

"So you think he made the right decision?" Cuddy asked him seriously.

Wilson licked his lips and looked at her, "I don't know, I've never been in his situation. But, if he truly loves you and want's to make sure you're safe, then... yes, he made the right decision. I just hope he can live with it."

Cuddy was surprised by his words, "What do you mean? What's been going on since I left?" Cuddy asked with concern.

"He's been depressed. Not eating, not talking, not sleeping and not allowing anyone to touch him, even me. He screamed when I just reached out to him. He's been getting in to it with the nurses of course, because they have to touch him to treat him and he wont allow it." Wilson looked back over at House and smiled, "This is the first time I've seen him sleep since the break up."

Cuddy looked over to see House's eyes closed and see him taking deep breaths.

There was a knock on the door and Wilson quickly got up and paid the delivery guy. "Alright, well the food is here." Wilson said and starting pulling out containers and putting them on the rolling tray in front of both of them.

Cuddy looked at the food, "It looks good, you know this might be the first meal you've had in the same room as House and not had your food stolen."

Wilson frowned, "Yeah," he said with a sigh and started eating his food.

Cuddy decided it would be best to just stay quite and eat. She was about to take a bite of her steamed dumpling when she heard a noise come from House and they both looked at him. He seemed to be having a bad dream his head was moving slowly from side to side and he was mumbling something.

Wilson walked over to him and tried to listen. He looked up in confusion, and then Cuddy went over and leaned to listen. She felt goose bumps on her skin, he was talking in that same child like tone he had the night they slept together. "Can't stop shaking... Yes sir Colonel ... I'll do better,... please no, no!" Cuddy bit her lip and gently felt of his head, it was hot. "He's got a fever," She said softly and reached her right hand up to his hair as his head was still moving and he was still mumbling. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding and ran her fingers through his hair in a stroking motion. His face relaxed and he stopped moving his head as she continued.

Wilson watched and smiled, "You're good with him."

Cuddy looked over at Wilson and sighed looking back at House, "If only he could realize that."

"Don't wanna be alone," House mumbled and Cuddy stopped touching him wondering if she'd woken him up.

"House?" Wilson said but didn't get a response and then looked at Cuddy.

Cuddy swallowed and House's face looked stressed, "Never leave me... with him again," he mumbled.

"Do you know who he is talking about?" Wilson asked Cuddy.

Cuddy shook her head, "Is it just me or does he sound like a child?"

Wilson frowned.

"Mom?" House mumbled with a wrinkled brow.

Cuddy looked at him with a hanging mouth, she didn't know what to do. Slowly she started stoking his hair back and his face relaxed. Cuddy looked to Wilson for help.

"Ask him about his dad," Wilson whispered.

Cuddy looked back down at House and frowned, she wasn't sure this was a good idea since House didn't seem to know what he was saying. "What happened sweetie?" She asked.

House didn't say anything but he frowned.

Cuddy sighed, "Greg, did daddy hurt you?"

House swallowed, "I was bad... try to be better... don't be mad," he mumbled in the same tone.

Cuddy frowned, "I'm not mad, tell me what happened." she said in a soft tone.

"Fell.. grass stains... on pants... didn't mean ... kid pushed me." House said weakly.

Cuddy rubbed the side of his face, "What did daddy do?"

House's head slowly moved from side to side. "Classified... I'm good soldier."

Cuddy looked to Wilson, "Did he grow up in a religious home?" she whispered to Wilson.

Wilson nodded, "Jehovah's Witnesses, basically Christianity without all the holidays, presents and hope."

Cuddy looked back down and House, "Greg, God doesn't like it when you don't obey me, now please tell me what daddy did."

House's face looked worried, "God... hurt me?"

Cuddy felt guilty at hearing his child like voice ask her that question, "No sweetie, God doesn't hurt people, but you want God to be happy right?"

House nodded slightly, "He made wash... pants... ice water."

Cuddy sighed it wasn't as bad as she had thought, "Did it make you cold?"

House frowned, "Started shaking... Coronal said stop... couldn't...then he... put me in water with ice."

Cuddy glanced at Wilson then back at House, "Then what happened Greg?"

"Lots ice... water turned pink... sharp ice cut me... wanted out... Coronal held down... said I had to be strong." House said with a frown.

Cuddy blinked at the image in her mind, "How long?"

"Turned blue... grabbed shoulders... push down hard... couldn't breath," House was moving his head slightly again, "Lots of water... then black... woke up on ground... coughing water... I'll be good."

Cuddy tried to keep her voice calm and steady, "Sweetie, do you know how old you will be next year?"

House's face calmed slightly, "Six next year... five in week."

Cuddy wiped her eyes quickly and combed his hair with her fingers, "Did it hurt?" she asked in a kind voice.

House's lip curled up slightly, "I'm big boy... didn't cry... me like Colonel."

Cuddy felt ill, "Greg you need to go to sleep?"

House nodded slightly, "Love you mommy," He whispered then moved his head to the right to sleep.

Cuddy didn't know what to say back and turned around to walk out of the room into the hall. She leaned on the wall across from his room and looked through the window at him as she wiped hers eyes again.

Wilson walked out in the hall looking down.

"I'm never doing that again. He never would have told us that if we hadn't manipulated him." Cuddy said giving Wilson a guilty look.

Wilson looked up at her, "Okay," he said and walked to the nurses station. "Jackie, he's got a fever."

Jackie sighed, "I'll go check, but it's probably an infection from that bathroom floor." She walked by Cuddy giving her a small smile and walked into Houses room.

Wilson stood looking through the glass beside Cuddy as they watched the nurse take his temperature then take the bandages off of his leg. Then Wilson quickly went inside the room.


	30. Chapter 30: Firetrucks and Syringes

House's eyes were opening, he looked around at the blurry room trying to get his eyes to focus. Jackie was looking at his leg and stopped as she saw his head moving. Wilson was standing on House's left side.

"How are you feeling?" Wilson asked.

House moved his head toward Wilson but only saw a blur, "Wilson? What happened?" House asked closing his eyes to see if it would help. Then tried to rub his eyes with his hands and discovered that not only were they very hard to move they were also restrained.

Wilson put his hand on House's arm, "You locked yourself up in the restroom and started screaming in some language at the nurse's. You called me Hobbs, so they had to knock you out and put on restraints, but I'm here."

House could see him more clearly now, "What did they give me?" House asked

"Ativan," Wilson said.

"Why do they need to paralyze me and put on restraints?" House asked as he turned his head to see Jackie.

"Because you killed three soldiers with your hands," Jackie said matter-of-factually.

"After they tortured and tried to kill me." House said in a slightly raised voice.

Wilson rubbed House's arm, "You need to calm down House."

House took a couple of deep breaths, "I'm thirsty."

Wilson put the water cup with straw up to House's mouth and he took some large sips. Then backed up from it.

"You know you have a visitor. It looks like Dr. Cuddy came by to see you today." Jackie said hoping it would put House in a better mood.

Houses looked down at the restraints on him and then slowly looked up and saw Cuddy through the glass. "You have to take them off, she can't see me like this." House said looking at Jackie.

Jackie looked at him, "You know I can't do that."

House looked down at his hands, licked his lips and then looked back at her with begging eyes, "Please, just for an hour or so. I don't want her to think I'm nuts... she my boss, she's my... was my girlfriend. Please let me have some dignity."

Jackie looked him over, "If I do this and you pull some stunt, I'm going to be fired. So give me a good reason why I should?"

House sighed, he couldn't think of any reason that doing this would benefit her. "I'll do one hour with the psychologist." He said bargaining with her.

Jackie looked at him with a cocked eyebrow, "Make it two hours, he has to stay in the room with you at all times and if you don't eat, I'm putting in a feeding tube. Got it." She said.

House thought about it for a second and nodded, "Deal."

Jackie hoped this wouldn't come to bite her in the end and started taking off his restraints. "I still have to finish up on your leg, and then I'll be on my way."

House looked down at the torn burnt flesh of his thigh, "It's infected," House said leaning his head back.

Jackie looked up at him, "And how do you know that?"

"I have a fever, and the tare feels warm with fever, swollen and itchy. It's definitely an infection." He said looking at it then back up at Jackie, "Give me the stuff and I'll clean it and wrap it, no reason for you to risk exposure."

Jackie looked at House and then Wilson.

"He can take care of it," Wilson said.

Jackie nodded and handed House the supplies. He made quick work of cleaning the area and then bandaging it tight to help it heal properly and Jackie left. She walked to Cuddy, "He's waiting for you."

Cuddy looked at her, "You know it's probably just best if I go, could you grab my purse?" She asked.

Jackie gave a disappointed look, "Nope, if you want it you are going to have to go and get it yourself." She watched as Cuddy seemed to be considering leaving with out it. "He agreed to two hours with the psychologist and to eat if I took of the restraints while you were here."

Cuddy looked in at House, "It's complicated."

Jackie walked closer to her, "You ever stop and wonder how complicated all this is for him? He shouldn't even be alive right now and then his entire life gets thrown for a loop. It's not like he broke up with you because he wanted to, he did what he felt was best in his condition. He's actually handling it a lot better than most patients."

Cuddy looked at her with curiosity, "What do you mean in his condition? I don't see how his injuries mean we had to break up."

Jackie looked confused, "Why did he tell you he was breaking up with you?"

Cuddy folded her arms over her chest, "To keep me safe from people like the men that did this to him."

Jackie sighed, "Give him time. He needs all the support he can get right now."

Cuddy let out a frustrated sigh and walked into House's room. House watched her as she walked in and Wilson went to get him some water and give them some time.

"Hi," Cuddy said as she approached his bed.

House looked away, "How's work been?"

Cuddy smiled at him, "Calmer without you there. Why you miss it?"

House looked up at her, "Yeah I miss it."

She could see the slight vulnerability in his eyes, and knew he wasn't talking about work. "House you're the one..."

"I've started physically therapy with my right hand." He quickly interrupting her and looking at his hand as he moved it.

Cuddy could tell he wanted to keep the conversation away from the break up. She licked her lips, "So how is that going for you?"

House tried to make a tight grip but his pinky stayed straight. Then his fingers popped in a jerky way back straight all except the ring finger which stayed curved down. He tried to spread his fingers but the last two wouldn't spread. "You know anyone looking for a baby grand?" He said studying his hand.

Wilson had walked in and watched House move his hand, "House it'll get better, this is only your second day of working it."

House smiled back at him, "Sure it will and I'll be able to walk to. My life will be just like it use to be right?" He said with sarcasm and slight bitterness.

Wilson sighed, "Well that's what we are hoping for."

Cuddy gave House a small smile, "Having a positive attitude can make all the difference House."

House smiled back, "Wow, I wish I had known that after my leg surgery then I might not have needed the cane. I guess that was all my fault too. My bad." He said with a fake smile. "Alright hand, I believe you can straighten out completely." He said with his eyes closed as if making a birthday wish and peeked out of one eye as he tried to straighten out his hand and had the same results as before. "Now that was disappointing," he said mockingly.

Cuddy gave him a frown, "I know what you mean, it like every time I think you will turn into someone who isn't a total ass."

"Why are you here, by the way? Did Wilson call you or what?" House asked with slight aggravation.

"You called me or don't you remember?" Cuddy asked with a cocked eyebrow.

House looked at her with troubled eyes, "No... I didn't, I would remember."

"House, she's right you threw your phone and it dialed her when you were in the bathroom." Wilson said watching House.

House looked at Wilson with confusion, "What do you mean in the bathroom, I can't walk?"

Wilson blinked, "You don't remember unhooking yourself and crawling into the bathroom?"

House closed his eyes, "No."

"Do you remember me telling you about it when you woke up about 15 minutes ago?" Wilson asked.

House looked slightly worried and then sighed, "Well I'm starving how about we eat something." He said casually.

Cuddy looked at House, "House do you remember him telling you?"

House closed his eyes trying to ignore her.

"House?" Wilson said watching him with concern.

"NO! Alright I don't remember." He said with fear in his voice then took some breaths, "It's probably just whatever they have me on."

Wilson frowned, "Ativan.. House I told you that earlier."

"Wow fascinating, maybe I'm contagious because I just said I wanted to eat and it seems like you've already forgotten that too." House said

Wilson wanted to continue this conversation but also knew that House had to eat. "Fine," he said and pushed over the chart with the Chinese food on it to House.

House looked at it. He didn't have much of an appetite but he had used hunger as an excuse to shut Wilson up and if he wanted to keep Wilson that way he knew he had to eat something. He tried using his right hand to take a bite with the chopsticks but ended up dropping the food on himself. "Shit," he said getting the food off of him and trying again only to spill food again. House looked at his right hand that seemed to have a slight shake and coughed grabbing the chopsticks with his left hand. Once again he's food ended up on him instead of his mouth and his pushed away the cart in frustration almost spilling the food and closed his eyes.

Wilson and Cuddy exchanged worried glances.

House started to laugh, "Fuck this, just hand me the container."

Wilson hesitantly handed House the container of orange chicken and House threw the chopsticks on the ground grabbed the container and tipped it up at his mouth shaking a couple of pieces into it. He chewed them up and smiled triumphantly.

Cuddy frowned, "So your plan is to never use utensils again?"

House swallowed his bite, "Better than starving to death don't you think?" he said eating some more bites.

Cuddy gave him at look of irritation, "Maybe if you actually put some work into and didn't just give up so easy."

Houses looked at her with angry eyes as he swallowed his food, "Is that what you think I did with us? That I just gave up?"

Cuddy's jaw was set, "I didn't say I was talking a..."

"Then this is about the damn food, it and it alone?" House interrupted with skepticism. "I'm on Ativan, which has numerous side effects ranging from clumsiness, unsteadiness, weakness, tremors, and if memory serves me right short term memory loss. This isn't about me trying and you know it." House said with certainty then sighed as his eyes became calm and serious, "I told you I'm only broke up with you to keep you safe and I meant it."

"Fine, then why are you still friends with Wilson? Aren't you afraid for his safety?" Cuddy asked with a questioning gaze, "I mean he's with you all the time, and I'm assuming that you are going to moving in with him during your recovery time. So aren't you worried about him?"

House glared back out her, how dare she question how much he cared about Wilson, "Yes I'm worried," House swallowed hard, "That's why I've decided I'm not moving in with him."

Wilson looked at House with bewilderment, "Excuse me? Where do you plan on going?"

House glanced at Wilson and then to his lap, "I'll be alright on my own," he said.

Cuddy laughed, "House there is no way that they are going to let you check on your own."

House looked at her with a cold expression, "Well, I'm sure I can pay someone to pretend they are coming with me to take care of me."

Wilson looked from Cuddy to House, "Your seriously planning on doing this. House how to you think you are going to get from your place to the Hospital for your physical therapy?"

"I don't know, damn I guess this plan wont work." House said dramaticly then he lifted his finger to his head as if a idea suddenly popped into his head, "Unless...I know how to operated a phone to call a cab and I know how to use a wheelchair. What luck I do." House said with annoyance.

Cuddy looked at him with worry, "House you can't even get in a bed on your own."

"But I can get on a mattress on the floor just fine." House countered.

Wilson shook his head, "And how do you plan on going to the rest room."

"I've put in my own catheter before, so if I have to again I will, but I'm pretty sure I can make it on the toilet with the wheelchair." House said looking him straight in the eyes.

"House why are you trying to do this? You can't even reach all the burns on your body, and if something happens no one will be there, you know this isn't the a good idea." Wilson said reaching for House's shoulder out of instinct.

House practically jumped back in the bed away from Wilson's touch and closed his eyes, "Don't! What did I tell you about touching me?" House took some deep breaths, "This is better than you getting hurt because of me. I mean it's not like you were looking forward to taking care of me right? How did you describe me, Oh yes, I spread misery because it's the only thing I can feel, who would want to be around someone like that?" House asked with cold and slightly hurt eyes.

Wilson's jaw hung as he heard the harsh words he had said to House repeated. He knew it wasn't true when he had said it, but he had been mad.

Cuddy looked at Wilson, "You said that to him?" she said so soft it was almost a whisper.

"Yes," Wilson said looking at her and then House, "I never should have said that House it isn't true."

House thought about this, "Your right, I have felt a lot more than just misery like love, betrayal, pain, empty, hated, wanted, pathetic, scared out of my mind, and what it's like to laugh with a friend. But you were right about one thing, all I do is spread misery. Our friendship hardly has made it through the times you lived with me between divorces, and you think it would survive this?" House shook his head, "No, I'll be fine on my own, I've done it before."

Cuddy looked at him blankly, "What do you mean by before?"

Wilson looked at him and sighed heavily, "Your mom never came to stay after Stacy left did she?"

House closed his eyes, "No, she didn't even find out about it until two years later when they dropped by unexpectedly."

"But, she knows about this right?" Cuddy asked hardly able to imagine how House had kept it a secret so long from his family.

Wilson hung his head as he watched House lean back with his eyes still closed and let out a tired breath. "No, he made me promise to never call her unless he died when he made me his medical proxy."

House opened his eyes looking at Wilson with almost a pleading look, "Can we have some lighter discussions while I eat? I'm .. so .. tired."

"Fine, we'll keep the conversation light, but we are going to revisit the talk about you living with me." Wilson said with determination.

"There's no point, my mind is made up," House said solemnly, "and you of all people know how stubborn I can be."

"And what if something happens House, what if you are still having respiratory problems and stop breathing or a panic attack and your heart stops?" Wilson yelled

House's breathing became panicked at the rise in volume and the look in Wilson's eyes. It made him mad, not that Wilson had yelled that was normal, but that his hands were shaking and he felt scared. He hated being this way, "Then I guess you finally get to call my mother! One less burden for the all of you! Now either calm the fuck down or leave, I have to eat before..." Houses eyes looked lost as he tried to remember the nurses name, "the chubby black one comes back in here and forces a tube down my throat." House said as his hands shook and his eye twitched.

Cuddy looked at him and knew he just couldn't handle much more, "My favorite flavor of candy is watermelon."

House and Wilson looked at her and suddenly House was laughing a real laugh, something that he hadn't done in a long time. "My favorite flavor is pineapple." House said after he had finally calmed down and tossed some more orange chicken in his mouth.

Wilson shook his head, "No your favorite flavor is cherry. You always get cherry everything."

"Ahhh, but that isn't because my favorite flavor it cherry." House said while chewing the food, and then swallowed, "My favorite color is red." Cuddy was about to speak, but House beat her to it, "Your favorite color is blue, and Wilson's favorite color it green."

Cuddy blushed remembering exactly how much House liked the color red while Wilson seemed intrigued, "Exactly why do you like red so much?"

House shrugged, "I've loved the color red since I first saw those metal fire truck toys when I was a kid." He said eating some more of chicken.

"Why a fire truck I thought you always wanted to be a doctor?" Cuddy asked.

House thought about it for a second, "Probably because when I was six our house caught on fire and a fireman rescued me." He seemed to be in thought then continued eating.

Wilson wanted to ask more questions but felt like it should wait since House had insisted on keeping the conversation light. "So it's easy to assume it was your favorite toy. Do you still have it?"

House swallowed his bite looking at them and tensed up a little, "I never said I had one, I just said I saw them." He looked away as he could see pity in their eyes, "My father didn't see toys as a necessity." House said softly and grabbed another container of Chinese food to keep himself busy. He smiled down at the dumplings and tipped the container so one landed in his mouth.

It took Cuddy a while to decided what to say, "But you had some toys right?"

House swallowed the dumpling almost whole surprised by the question. What was so hard for her to get about his dad not allowing him toys. "One, a old teddy my Oma gave me when I was born. My mother refused to let it be tossed out. My father hated it." He said a little bitterly and then sighed, "It's pretty obvious why Jimmy's favorite color is green since he's Jewish and all. So why is your favorite color blue?" He asked looking at Cuddy.

Cuddy swallowed slightly seeing his blue eyes watching her. "When I was a kid I loved the ocean. I wanted to be a mermaid, so whenever I see blue it reminds me of the ocean."

House's eyes studied her as he thought, "So if my eyes had been green you wouldn't have found me attractive at all?" He asked and watched as Cuddy blinked trying to decide what to say back. "Never mind, it's not important... you would have made a beautiful mermaid." He said staring back down in the container of dumplings biting his lip as his leg started to ache more.

Wilson looked at House wondering why he had said what he did and then noticed he was biting his lip, Wilson looked down and noticed House's leg was shaking slightly. His eyes shot up to House's face, "Are you have a spasm?"

House took a breath, "It's not bad yet... I'm"

Wilson cut him off, "I swear to god if I here you say that you are fine one more time, I'm going to hit you."

The corner of Houses mouth curled up at this, "Wow you're really going to threaten violence to a cripple who was almost beaten to death?"

Wilson blinked at him not knowing what he should say.

House smiled, "It's nice to have you back."

Wilson noticed that Houses leg was no longer shaking, "I'm getting the nurse." He said as he turned.

House's smile faded as Wilson walked out of the room and he looked to see Cuddy looking at him. He looked away from her awkwardly as the silence stretched on and his heart rate increased.

Cuddy couldn't stand the silence it was just weird for there to be quiet with House. "You look better than you did last time I saw you."

House still didn't look at her, "Bruises are going away finally," he said leaning down over his leg as he started rubbing the bandaged thigh. It hurt more being alone with her than he wanted to admit.

Cuddy saw his back as he did so and now could make out a distinctive curve of the bruises. "They hit with your own cane?" She asked looking at the marks.

House sat back up with his back against the bed, "No they brought their own," he said with sarcasm.

She smiled at his comment it was like House. "I heard you've been giving the nurses a run for their money."

He gave her a sly smile, "Just like a Jew to bring up money even when the issue has nothing to do with it."

Cuddy just smiled at him, "So what's the issue then?"

House shrugged, "They can't keep their hands off of me. They just don't seem to get the idea that no means no." He said with a faint smile and mischievous eyes.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Have you ever thought that they are just trying to make you better? I mean they are nurses."

"Right, like I haven't heard that one before." House exaggerated with a smile. He could tell Cuddy wasn't impressed so he sighed and looked down at his leg which was having a small spasm. It was uncomfortable but it was only a level six nothing he couldn't just ignore. "I don't need them to touch me, I'm a doctor. I can assess how everything is healing and treat my injuries." Then closed his eyes.

Cuddy had followed his gaze to his legs and noticed the shaking. "But why should you have too?"

House looked up at her meeting her eyes, "Just don't let them put me out again. I'm capable of making my own decisions about my treatment and I didn't want this." He said with slight anger.

Cuddy frowned, "House they didn't have a choice."

He gave her an odd look, "No, but you did and you let them do this to me! I understand you were scared Stacy, but I would rather have died than live this way." House's eyes were sad and questioning.

Cuddy mouth was hanging as she processed what House had said and what it meant.

"What if I can't ever walk again and they put me in a wheelchair? An amputation would be better than that, at least then I could get a prosthetic, but I can't be happy knowing I'm only going to be a burden to you. Stacy I love you too much to put you through that." House watched her and looked away, "I'm sorry but that's just how I feel."

It was at that time that the nurse came in with the local paralytic

House started scooting back in the bed with wide eyes as he watched the nurse, "Hey hold it right there, what's in the syringe?" He asked eying her.

Wilson walked in behind the nurse, "House they are just trying to give you something to stop the leg spasm."

House looked at him with glaring eyes, "And why should I trust them or you for that matter? Last time I was out I woke up to find part of my leg missing. I'd rather not wake up and find other things missing."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "That was forever ago, and I would think you would have gotten over it by now." He looked up to barely dodge House's water cup that was thrown at him.

House was looking at him with warning eyes, "I woke up yesterday with a huge chunk of my thigh cut out and you're telling me to get over it!" House yelled, and narrowed his eyes, "and you're suppose to be the nice one. I can't even fucking sleep because I'm too afraid of what I'll wake up to!"

"House calm down," Cuddy said standing up and looking at him with sad concerned eyes.

"Don't tell me to calm down Stacy, and since when do you call me House?" House yelled watching her with hurt searching eyes.

Wilson let out a heavy sigh as he realized that House was no longer in the present. "House look at your Hospital bracelet and tell me what year it has." He said calmly.

House looked at him as if he were crazy but looked at it out of curiosity. He swallowed and shook his head some. "It... this can't be right. Have I been in a coma? What the hell did you let them do to me?" He screamed looking at Stacy.

Cuddy took a slight step back, "House, I'm not Stacy. I'm Cuddy, Stacy left not long after the leg surgery. Some men broke into your apartment and … did this to you about a week ago."

House looked at her as he thought about what she was saying, "If you're Lisa Cuddy then you shouldn't have any problem telling me where we first met." He said in a challenging way with a slight smirk.

"At the bookstore in John Hopkins, it was in August and it was a sunny day. You were wearing a Rolling Stones tee shirt with a denim jacket and blue jeans." She said looking him in the eyes.

House's eyes became scared and he swallowed, "If this is come kind of trick or joke..."

"I assure you it isn't. House they need to give you some medication for your leg." Wilson interrupted.

House looked up at him and the chubby nurse, "No... I don't want anyone giving me anything. Just stay away from me." He said as he tried to think, to remember.

"I can't do that," Jackie said watching him. "I'm sorry Dr. House but we are going to have to put the restraints back on."

House looked at her with large eyes, "What do you mean back on?"

Jackie walked toward him.

"Stay the hell away from me! Wilson stop her!" House yelled looking to his friend who gave him a sympathetic look and then just looked away. House looked at the woman that he saw as Stacy but said she was Cuddy. "Please, don't let them do this to me. Just let me have time to think, I'm smart. I'll figure this out please... please don't let them. Help me..." House saw the sad look she gave him biting her lip. "Don't! Don't look at me that way as if I'm broken... I'm right here. Stop this... please." His voice was begging and it tore at her heart.

House jumped slightly off the bed when he felt the nurse touch him, "Get the fuck away from ME!" He screamed as he tried to make his broken body move away from her. When he saw Wilson and Stacy come closer he felt relieved that they were going to help him until he felt them hold him down so the nurse could secure the restraints, "No... why are you doing this. You're my friends, don't do this." He said but soon feel himself drifting away as he saw the nurse give him a smile as she removed a syringe from his IV.


	31. Chapter 31: Hide and Seek

Wilson woke up Monday morning early as he started getting ready for work. There was no need for him to stay with House in the hospital since he no longer even realized he was there. The nurses had been very strict about keeping him medicated and House just laid there either in a daze or asleep. He didn't speak just mumbled occasionally while shaking or twitching. Jackie hadn't seemed happy about what they had to do, but did say that they were able to get him to eat and take better care of his wounds. Wilson hadn't stayed long on Sunday, because he couldn't stand watching House stare off into space with glazed eyes.

He had already talked to House's doctors and gotten them to agree that if he continued to heal at the rate he had been then they would release him in his care at the end of the week. Wilson planned on taking off at least two weeks, maybe more so he could take care of House before he started going back to work. So it was important that he check up on his patients and let them know that he was going to be out of pocket for a couple of weeks and what doctors they could call if they needed to see someone before he got back.

Wilson walked into the Hospital and if felt weird. The hospital seemed the same, but just knowing that House wasn't going to be there made him feel uneasy. Cuddy spotted him and walked with him to the elevator getting on it with him. It wasn't until the doors closed that she spoke. "How is he?"

Wilson looked at her, "If you want to know all you have to do is go by and check for yourself."

Cuddy could feel his eyes on her but just looked at the doors of the elevator. "He doesn't need to be stressed anymore than he already is, and I'm afraid me being there is only going to just that."

Wilson scoffed, "No you're just afraid it'll stress you out."

Cuddy looked at him, "You're right it will stress me out, but it also seemed to stress him out last time too."

Wilson knew she was right, "They keep him so drugged up he isn't ever there. He mumbles every now and then but it never really makes any since. He eats but it just a involuntary response they put food in his mouth and close it and he chews and swallows. I called human resources and put in for two weeks off starting next week for when I bring House to stay with me."

Cuddy looked at him with confusion, "I thought he didn't want to stay with you."

Wilson shrugged, "Well right now he isn't in his right mind to be making medical decisions, so as I'm his medical proxy I'm doing what I think is best."

The doors opened and Wilson walked out and toward his office not caring if Cuddy followed or not. When he started unlocking his door he looked around noticing she hadn't followed him and was relieved as he walked over to his desk and started on all the work he wanted to get done this week.

Kutner walked in the DDX room with a worried expression.

Foreman looked at the time and sighed, "I get that House is your idol and all, but Cuddy put me in charge while he's gone. Keep coming in late and you're going to start finding you spend more and more time in the clinic." He said with a smirk.

Kutner looked at them, "I found him."

Taulb looked up from the paper he had been reading confused, "Found who?... wait you mean House?" He asked now putting down the paper and watching Kutner.

"Where is he?" Chase asked.

"In the hospital," Kutner said.

"What happened to him?" Thirteen asked with a shocked expression.

"I don't know, couldn't get a hold of his chart." Kutner said looking at them.

Foreman rolled his eyes, "There is no way that House is in this hospital. If he was we would have found him before now. Chase and me went to every room in this place and he wasn't here."

Kutner looked down, "I never said he was in this hospital. He's at New Jersey Medical on the trauma floor."

Foreman thought about this, "Alright take us to him. We don't have any interesting cases right now anyway and our last patient is recovering well."

Everyone got up quickly filing after Kutner, even Chase, he wasn't going to miss this.

Fifteen minutes later they were all standing inside House's hospital room as he slept. Thirteen was the first one to speak, "How did he get this way?" She said softly trying not to wake him up.

Foreman's eyebrows shot up, "Looks like he got his ass kicked. So I would guess it started with him opening that condescending mouth of his."

"Knowing House you're probably right." Chase said looking down at his ex-boss then back at Foreman. "I just wonder who he pissed off enough to do this. It couldn't have been one person, it had to be a group."

Taulb shrugged, "Why does it have to be a group? He's what 48 to 50, crippled and it's not like he's in the best of shape."

Kutner eyed Taulb, "He kicked that soldiers ass that hit Cuddy and was ready to finish the job. It had to be a group."

Taulb rolled his eyes and sighed, "It could have been bar fight," he said casually.

"Or the mob, remember when he had that patient that was involved in the mob?" Chase said looking to Foreman.

Foreman scoffed, "Hell it could be any of his patients, House doesn't have the best beside manner." He thought for a minute and smiled, "It could be a couple of hooker that got mad at him."

Taulb smiled at the thought of his boss being beaten up by a gang of prostitutes. "I could see that."

Kutner walked closer looking at House. "Um... I'm not so sure about the ass kicking theory guys." Everyone watched him as he looked over House. "He has a lot of burns and blisters, maybe he was in a bad car accident and the car caught fire."

Thirteen's eye scanned House's visible skin, "Or he got stuck in a burning building. I wonder why they have restraints on him?" She said with a cocked eyebrow as she noticed all of his limbs were restrained.

"It couldn't be because he's arrogant asshole who refuse to ever bend to anyone's authority." Taulb said looking at the man.

Chase looked at Taulb with an disbelief, "Wow how do you do it?" He asked him

Taulb gave him a confused look, "What?"

"Work for someone you obviously hate so much." Chase said with a tilted head.

Taulb looked at him with annoyance, "I didn't come to work with House because I like him as a person, I came to work for him because he's the best at what he does. And honestly I doubt that House was an innocent by stander."

Foreman thought about what Taulb said and frowned, "You weren't there when he got shot." He said looking at House and suddenly his eyes widened, "House?" Foreman said seeing the now open blue eyes of his boss.

The team all stared at House as he blankly looked in their direction. His mouth opened and he swallowed as his head tilted.

Chase took a step closer, "House... are you alright?"

House blinked and looked at him as if he had only just noticed him. The confusion on his face only grew as he looked to finally notice the others. His arm jerked and his breathing quickened, "No. Stop her. No more." House said in a raspy voice.

Foreman looked behind him to see a nurse walk in with a syringe. "Time for you're medicine Dr. House." she said as she made her way to his IV.

House's left hand was pulling at the restraint and his jaw was clenched, "Hi Carla," he said with a sadistic smile.

Carla looked at him with scared and surprised eyes.

"Oops! You must have been running late giving me my medicine." The word medicine sounded bitter a vile coming off his lips. "So before you shoot me up I want to talk to Dr. Tucker about my medications." House said with a grimaced smile.

Carla took off the protective cover of the needle, "To bad, he's out for the day," she said and administered the shot to his IV.

House looked down to see her taking out the empty needle. "You fucking bitch," he said as he leaned toward her, "I promise if this crap has any lasting effects I'm going to sue every one of you who..." House could feel the strong medicine starting to take effect, "ad.. min.. is... tered." The last word was mumbled as he's eyes became unfocused and his body and tongue became heavy.

"What did you just give him?" Chase asked as he saw House fall back into the bed weakly.

"I'm sorry but I'm not allow to discuss that with visitors." Carla said giving Chase a smile that said she wasn't at all sorry. She looked down and House and smiled, "See that's all better right?" House's eyes close and he swallowed. "Don't worry I wont be late again." She said patting his arm and then leaving.

Foreman was standing in the way of the door and Carla tried to pass by him. "Could you move, sir. I do have other patients to see."

"I could just like you could tell us what you just gave him." Foreman said with a smirk.

Carla looked around at the other as if expecting one of them to step in and make the man in front of her move. But instead she found them all looking at her expectantly. Carla sighed, "Ativan," she said and as if it were the magic word Foreman gave her a polite smile and moved out of the way.

They stood there quiet for a couple of minutes thinking. "Legally he has every right to speak with his doctor about his medications before taking them." Thirteen said looking at House who's body was jerking.

"You're right he does but we're his team not his lawyers." Taulb said seeming disturbed at the muscle spasms making House jerk. "I wonder how much they are giving him?"

"We may not be his lawyers but we don't have to stand by and let them medicate him against his will." Kutner said looking at the others with determination.

Wilson was pleased with himself for all the work he had gotten done it was only three and he had done all the work he had hoped to do for the day and started on tomorrow work. He leaned back in his chair and relaxed a little. He couldn't help but wonder if the absence of House and his pranks and distractions were the reason for him getting so much accomplished.

Wilson's phone rang and he answered, "Hello this is Dr. James Wilson."

"Hello Dr. Wilson, this is Jackie from New Jersey Medical. I'm sorry to disturb you but we need you down here. We have a situation that I'm hoping you can help us with." Jackie said.

Wilson's could feel his heartbeat rise, "With House? Is he okay? Did he do something?"

Jackie could hear the panic in his voice, "Actually it's with the guests he has. They are not allowing us to medicate him."

Wilson sighed, "Sure I'll be right there." He said a hung up the phone.

Cuddy was about to call back a donor when her assistant, opened the door. "Dr. Cuddy you have a call from New Jersey Medical on line one. They seem quite upset and said they need to talk to you immediately."

Cuddy sighed, "Thank you Eva. I'll take the call." She picked up the phone, "Hello this is Dr. Cuddy, what can I do for you."

"Dr. Cuddy this is Mr. Johnson I work for the security in New Jersey Medical. We have are having a problem with your employees."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Sir I'm sorry but Dr. House is a patient there and is on medical leave until he is well. So whatever stunt he's pulling has nothing to do with me or this hospital."

"Dr. House isn't the problem, it his guests. They say that they work for him at your hospital and are causing quite the disturbance. They aren't allowing the nurses to do there jobs. Now we've asked them to leave but they refuse to do so, and even though we could carry them out and put a restraining order not allowing them inside the hospital the administrator of the Hospital has asked me to give you a call in hopes you could stop it before it goes that far." Mr. Johnson said in a professional tone.

Cuddy was irritated but spoke politely, "Tell Dr. Gunner I appreciate his courtesy of the call, and I will be there to resolve this problem immediately." She hung up the phone and grabbed her purse as she walked by her assistant she let her know that she would be out for a hour or so and to just take messages.

Cuddy walked toward the doors to see Wilson half running from the elevator. She turned and waited for him, "Well it seems like the team found him."

Wilson took some heavy breaths from the jog and sighed, "Yeah, I'm guessing they called you too?"

Cuddy gave a frustrated smile, "Yes Dr. Gunner wanted to inform me that I had rouge employees at his hospital not allowing the nurses to do their jobs."

Wilson cocked an eyebrow, "I don't see why they didn't just have security make them leave."

"Oh, no.. then Dr. Gunner wouldn't have been able to interrupt my day and rub this in my face. He's always trying to act like I don't know how to run and control a hospital so this just made his day." Cuddy said fuming.

Wilson ran his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry Cuddy I didn't know they had found out where he was."

Cuddy looked at Wilson with guilty eyes, "No.. Wilson, I'm not blaming this on you. I know you've been running yourself ragged trying to be there for House. No, his team are all adults and they are going to be in hot water when I get a hold of them." Cuddy gave his arm a squeeze, "How have you been doing Wilson?"

Wilson looked at her a little lost, "I... don't know. I'm scared and worried and don't know what to do. I feel bad for not seeing him as much, but he's so out of it Cuddy. I hate seeing him that way."

Cuddy swallowed, "Hey how about we ride together?"

Wilson nodded, "Thanks," he said and they made their way to her car.

Wilson and Cuddy made it to House's room to see House's team standing at each corner of the bed with a group of three security guards staring them down and two nurses standing in the door way.

Cuddy gave a cough and the nurses moved into the room and out of her way. "Alright, I want everyone of you out of this room and in my office now!" She said with a raised voice.

"I'm sorry Dr. Cuddy but we can't do that. Before the last shot of Ativan, House asked to speak with his doctor about the medications they had him on and she gave it to him anyway and ignored his request." Chase said standing at the foot of the bed between Thirteen and Taulb.

"That's because the doctor already spoke to me about his medications and I'm his medical proxy." Wilson said clearly watching them.

The nurse sneered at the team.

"Then why is he here instead of our Hospital." Thirteen said looking at Wilson.

Wilson looked at House, "Because he asked to not be taken to our hospital. He didn't want anyone seeing him like this."

"I get that you all care about Dr. House's care but he isn't your patient." Cuddy said looking at them as they still stood defiantly.

"Wilson..." House croaked looking around the aimlessly.

Wilson walked to House's right side. "It's alright House just try and relax."

"So what because Wilson is his medical proxy House had no right to know what they are putting in his body, no choice about the matter. It sounds a lot like what happened during his infarction." Foreman said looking at Wilson.

"How dare you, it's not like you have always been the most ethical of doctors or House for that matter!" Cuddy yelled.

"House may try and trick patients or bully them into his treatment, but he's never tried to drug them up so much that they couldn't even talk!" Kutner said watching Cuddy. "We've been here for five hours now and that was just his first word since the shot. They are way over dosing him, and Ativan can cause hallucinations, muscle spasms, confusion, depression and more. Not to mention that there is hardly a need for them to be giving him tranquilizers if he's already tied down to the bed!" Kutner yelled furiously.

"Wilson stay," House said as his heart rate rose. House's looked around the blurs hardly able to make out what was being said. He's eyes focused a little and he realized Wilson was standing beside him. He moved his right hand as much as he could and tried to grab Wilson's hand.

Wilson looked down and saw House's failed efforts and gently put his hand in Houses.

House grabbed his hand as tightly as he could and his hand shook. He wasn't sure it it was from the pain since they hadn't been giving him morphine or if it was because he was so scared.

Wilson could see that House was scared and when his heart monitor started to beep he looked up at everyone. "Keep your voices down. He can't handle yelling right now." His voice was soft but the look in his eyes told everyone they better listen.

"I'm sorry Wilson," Cuddy said now looking terribly guilty. She knew better than to yell around House after all he had been though.

Thirteen looked at House and ran a hand along his bandaged left foot, "What happened to him?" She asked pressing slight on the bandage.

House sucked in air through gritted teeth at the pain. "Everything hurts... too much." He said holding Wilson's hand with all his strength.

Wilson grabbed the morphine button and pushed it a couple of time, then looked up to see his morphine was empty. "How long has his morphine been empty! Do you have any kind of idea how much pain he must be in!" Wilson was squeezing House's hand as his anger rose.

"Oh... I'm sorry, usually the patients let us know I'll get some right away." The nurse said now running from the room.

Wilson looked down to see House's eyes closed and trying to pull his hand away from Wilson. Wilson let go and cursed himself as he saw House pull as far away from him as possible. He's heart monitor was screeching.

Foreman watched never seeing his boss act this way. "What the hell did you do to his hand?" He asked as he saw House's body shaking from the pain.

"Shit, House, I'm sorry. I forgot it was broken." Wilson said with panic.

House tried to look around and could see all the figures standing over him. His body was trembling with pain from everywhere. "No more... please no more. Just kill me!" He said through ragged breaths.

Foreman put a hand on his chest, "House calm down okay."

House's body jumped as he felt the touch and he fell back to the bed as his monitor showed a flat line.

Wilson pulled down House's hospital gown and Cuddy ran for the defibrillator. "Stand back!" She yelled as she put some gel on the paddles and set the machine. "CLEAR!" She yelled as she shocked him and removed the paddles. Nothing happened and she turned the machine up. "CLEAR!" She yelled again and put the paddles to his chest this time his heart started going and she put the machine back up with shaky hands. Cuddy looked at them all with angry tear-filled eyes, "OUT NOW!" She screamed at them and they all filed out of the room.

She walked over to House who started blinking his eyes. "Hey," she said softly as she smiled sadly at him.

"Cuddy?" He asked looking at her.

Cuddy laughed softly, she had never been so happy to hear him say her name, "Yeah, I'm here what is it?"

"What... happened?" He asked, "My chest feels like it's on fire."

Cuddy sighed, "You flat lined, we had to use the defibrillator."

House nodded and looked down, "Cuddy, I'm so scared." He whispered. "All I've ever had is my mind and I'm afraid this medicine is going to make me lose it." He looked back up at her with fearful eyes.

Cuddy swallowed hard, "House I wont let that happen, you hear me. I'd never be able to replace you as a doctor, and then the hospital would lose donations. You know I'll never let that happen." She said hoping to calm him with humor.

House started to smile and then gritted his teeth. "It hurts... so bad all over." He strained to talk as the pain seemed to only get worse.

"I know, we've got morphine on the way," she said and ran her fingertips lightly through his hair.

House let out a sigh of relief, "So they found me?"

Cuddy smiled, "Yep, just like you said they would."

House grimaced as his leg throbbed, "Don't tell them what happened... please."

Cuddy shook her head, "I won't. I promise."

House gave a small smile, "God I love you, I think I could have been happy with you forever Lisa." When he ended he was frowning.

Cuddy could swear her heart stopped in her chest. She just stared at him in shock.

"I'm sorry..." He said looking at her.

Cuddy felt her heart beat again, "me too," she said and continued running her hand through his hair. She heard something and looked around to see a nurse holding the bag of morphine. Cuddy nodded and the girl proceeded to hook it up.

When the girl was done Cuddy grabbed the button and pressed it several time to get House some pain relief. Then continued rubbing his hair in silence for a couple of minutes. "You feeling any better?" she asked giving him a warm smile. House nodded and she got up helping him to get a new gown on. "I figured we should get you covered up."

House looked down to see his chest was uncovered with disgust, "Sorry you had to see it," he mumbled.

Cuddy gave his hair a soft tug to make him look at her, "Listen there is nothing wrong with how your body looks. You have a wonderful body." She said leaning close to make him listen.

House looked at her face and leaned toward her, his lips just a little over an inch away from hers, "I miss you so much." He leaned closer and moved his head so his cheek rested against hers and nuzzled her. "But I can't... I wont do that to you." He whispered in her ear.

Cuddy waited for him to pull away before she got up, "I miss you too, but right now I have to deal with your team." She said making her way to the door.

House watched her hips sway and when she opened the door and left he looked back down at the restraints with frustration and sighed.

Everyone was quiet as Cuddy came out. "House's team and ex-team members at the end of the hall now." She said looking at Chase with a challenging glare.

They all walked down the hall and stood in a group. Cuddy walked behind them, "Alright," she whispered, "I need you to act like I'm chewing you out." She said looking up at their stunned faces. Chase quickly put on a shameful yet irritated face and everyone else followed suit. "Good," she whispered, "Thank you for checking up on House. He didn't want anyone to see him, but I'm proud that you stuck by his side insisting on better care. He would have done the same if not more for everyone of you." She couldn't help but look at Foreman knowing that House had been willing to break the law to save him. Foreman's eyes met hers and he looked away quickly obviously thinking about the same thing. "But next time if you don't think he's getting the best care come to me or Wilson only. Don't stop the nurses from doing their job no matter how bad they are at it. As much as he doesn't want to admit it House needs everyone he has right now, and I don't want you to lose the right to come and see him, for his sake." She looked at them to see admiration in their eyes. "Faces," she hissed and they put back on their masks. "Since Wilson needs to work this week because he has to take off some time to take care of House when he's released, I would like one of you to sit in with him while work is slow. You can take turns. Now walk away and mumble some curse words to sell it." She said straightening her self up.

They sold the performance well walking past the guards and nurses, and Wilson saying phases like, "She's the moron. What a fucking bitch. I'd like to see her try and fire us, House would just hire us back. She didn't have to get ugly about it. And Who does she think she is." Cuddy walked over to Wilson and looked at the guards, "You can follow them and make sure they leave." The guards nodded to her and left.

The nurse started to walk into the room and Cuddy grabbed her arm. "Where do you think you're going?" Cuddy asked in a demanding tone.

The nurse looked at her shocked, "To give Dr. House his medicine he's two hours over due for it."

Wilson looked at the nurse, "That wont be necessary as of right now I'm not consenting to him having anything other than IV drip, morphine, and antibiotics. I would like to see the Dr. Tucker in House's room to discuss other options for helping to control his anxiety."

The nurse looked pissed as she narrowed her eyes at him, "Yes sir." She said and stomped off.

Cuddy let out a sigh as she leaned against the wall and looked at House through the window. Wilson joined her, "So what did he say?" He asked looking at House's tired frame lay in the bed looking exhausted.

"He said he was afraid of losing his mind because of the medicine." She said sadly watching House look at the restraints and giving his arms a tug only to lay them back down.

Wilson looked at her, "Is that all he said?"

Cuddy bit her lip as she thought about whether or not to tell Wilson, "He said he loves me and that he thinks he could have been happy forever with me."

Wilson looked at House and then Cuddy, "Wow, I can't believe he was actually that open."

Cuddy shrugged, "And then instead of kissing me, he nuzzled my cheek and said he couldn't, that he wouldn't do that to me."

Wilson sighed, "I wish I could tell you what's going on with him, but he asked me not to. Just like it's up to House if he tells his team about what happened to him, it's up to him to decide when he's ready to talk to you about his reasons."

Cuddy looked at him for the first time during the conversation, "You honestly think he'll tell me?"

Wilson gave her a reassuring smile, "Yes, I'm positive he will."

Cuddy gave him a hug, "I hope you're right about him on this Wilson."

Wilson smiled at her, "I know him pretty well. Are you going to stick around?"

Cuddy pulled back and ran her hands through her hair, "Nope, I've got to get back to work, but I think I'll start trying to come back up here every other day for a couple of hours."

Wilson gave her a knowing smile.

"I know he isn't going to change his mind, but for once I'm pretty sure that he didn't want to hurt me, and I honestly think he's hurting even more than I am about it." Cuddy said watching House to see his eyes on hers.

Wilson was happy Cuddy was finally seeing what he had been noticing for a while now. "He is," He said looking at her.

Cuddy put her hand up to the glass and gave a wave to House.

House tried to pull his arm up to wave and looked down at it moving his mouth in what Cuddy was sure was a curse word and then looking up at her with a shy expression and moving both his feet and hands at the same time back and forth so they were all waving at her. Cuddy laughed and House pretended to glare but the smile on his face gave him away.

Wilson sighed, "It's nice to see him smile."

Cuddy turned to him, "Yeah it is, I'm trusting you not to let them mess him up anymore than he already is." She sighed and smiled, "I can't believe I'm saying this but, he's perfect the way he is, don't let them take that away from him."

Wilson could see the fear in her eyes, and grabbed her hand. "We'll find something that will work. The last thing I want is to change him. I just want to get him better."

Cuddy nodded, "Thanks," she said and walked off.


	32. Chapter 32: Don't Need Rescuing

Wilson walked in Houses room and sat down.

"Don't you have anything better to do than sit here with me or has your life gotten even more pathetic since my little incident?" House said rolling his eyes.

Wilson kept the smile off his face knowing it would only irritate House, "Hey watch who you are calling pathetic you old gimpy drama whore."

House snickered at Wilson's jab. "Speaking of whore... how's the girl you were dating?"

Wilson gave a half smile, "You mean Megan? Everything is going good, I have another date tomorrow. You think you can give me a break and try not almost dying so I don't have to cancel."

"I'll try for your sake, but if everything goes south and I lose my mind and die strapped down to this bed don't worry I'll understand that getting your rocks off was more important." House said now staring in front instead of looking at Wilson.

Wilson noticed House was no longer looking at him and he knew that House wasn't really joking anymore. "House..."

House interrupted him, "You know I didn't ask you to come here. You could be spending time with her right now instead of sitting here me so why aren't you?" He asked looking at him with dark daring eyes.

Wilson felt anger boil up inside him. He had been doing everything for House ever since the accident happened, and in some ways for years before it happened. "Oh I don't know, maybe because I was interrupted with a call telling me that your team was causing problems in the hospital, because I'm your medical proxy since I'm the only one stupid enough to be your friend!" He said loudly getting out his frustration.

House looked away quickly as he felt his heart beat faster in his chest from the raised voice. His hands were fisted to stop them from shaking as he replied, "Don't worry, I'll take you off as my medical proxy and you wont ever have to be bothered. I might just sign a DNR and if your lucky you'll never have to even see me again."

Wilson scoffed and looked away, "Oh no, I don't know how I would live without having to worry about you and what you need or want every second! I might actually be happy!"

House's body was pulled as far from Wilson as possible with House facing him. He was shaking from the yelling as Wilson's sharp word reinforced every doubt he had about their friendship. "What do you want to hear that I'm sorry Amber died and I lived! Believe me when I say that I would much rather have died than lived through this!"

Wilson looked up to see House's body shaking while his eyes board into him and calmed his voice. "House you need to calm down now," he said with worried eyes.

"WHY!" House yelled as his body still trembled, "This is what you want and what I want! Everyone will be better off if I just die right now!"

Wilson looked at House with confusion and surprise, "House I don't want you dead, I've never wanted you dead." He swallowed, "House you're my best friend, I can't lose you too."

House could see the honesty radiating off of Wilson and blinked looking away, "I'm just a burden now. Your friend is gone Wilson, can't you see that?"

Wilson though about this for a moment and then gave a half smile, "No, he's not, because only my insanely smart yet completely insensitive friend would say that. House you're going to be okay, things will get back to normal but it's going to take time."

House was completely calm now as he stared at his gown. "My normal wasn't that good to begin with and you can say what you want, but you're a doctor just like I am and know there are no guarantees. Wilson... I always fight everything that's happened to me even when no one was there because I knew that no one thought quiet like me. I save people that no one else can save, but if I lose that..." House close his eyes and swallowed.

Wilson watched House, "Tell you what if you go through all of this recovery to discover your mind isn't fully recovered I'll kill you."

House looked up at Wilson quickly and thought about this for a second then rolled his eyes, "If I lost my mind how would I know to be able to hold you to it."

Wilson smiled at House, "And that is how I know you haven't lost your mind House."

House sighed and pushed the call button on the bed.

"Yes Dr. House what can we get for you?" The nurse's voice came over the speaker.

Wilson looked at House in interest who swallowed hard and avoiding Wilson. "I need to change my medical proxy and I... I need DNR papers." House closed his eyes and laid back in the bed as if in total defeat. Wilson's eyes were wide in shock as he replayed what House had said.

"Umm... are you sure Dr. House?" said the nurse.

"Give me that!" Jackie's voice was heard over the speaker

"Listen here, I'll be damned if I'm going to give you papers to die, you hear me you grumpy old cripple." Jackie yelled.

Wilson's head finally stopped and he got up pressing the call button, "Don't worry about it Jackie. House and me just had a little argument. He was just trying to test me." Wilson said.

House pushed his hand away from the button and looked at Wilson while pressing the button, "My name is Dr. Gregory Adam House I was born on June 11th of the year 1959. I am of sound mind and have the authority to ask to change my medical proxy and sign DNR papers if I wish. I expect them to be in here in at least ten minutes." House let go of the button his words had been calm and his eyes still held Wilson's.

Wilson felt his stomach tighten, House hadn't even sounded angry. No his eyes had been serious and Wilson was sure he had seen a bit of defeat in them time slipped by silently until he finally talked. "You've fought this far just to what? Give up?" He asked softly.

House sighed, "Yeah, I guess so."

There was no fight in House's voice and it scared Wilson. He had seen House do a lot of thing over the years but giving up just wasn't one of them. "House you can't do this! I won't let you! I get that I was being a dick and if you were just trying to scare me... you won okay, just stop this now."

House's eyes were sad, "You weren't a dick, you were honest. Wilson you can't stop me and if you try to physically then I will have to ask them to remove you from my room and not allow you back in. I don't want to have to do that, but I will. I'm sorry but I just can't do this anymore."

Jackie had just walked in with the papers to hear the last of House's statement. She looked House over and sighed as she put them down in front of him. House signed the DNR with out hesitation and then thought about who to put down as the medical proxy.

Wilson's mouth was dry as watched House sign the DNR quickly. "You... you don't have to change medical proxy's. I'm sorry I said what I did, but please House if our friendship means anything don't do this."

House looked and him and gave a short nod, "I'm done," he said handing them both back to Jackie.

Jackie didn't take them though, "All the hell you gave us and now just praying you die! You've been a pain in my side since you got here Dr. House but the one thing you weren't was pathetic until now!"

House met her eyes and she noticed that they no long held any light in them, "great," he said handing it to her again and this time she took it.

111111111111

It was six thirty before Cuddy finally found her self at home and by eight she was sitting in the living room having ate dinner and put Rachel to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about what House had said earlier today at the hospital. _"God I love you, I think I could have been happy forever with you Lisa."_ It seemed so unbelievable not only the words but the vulnerability and fear in his eyes mixed with a sadness she had never seen in the man. She could feel her heart warm up the the man she had always felt the need to be guarded around and then like always he had continued talking and left her utterly confused,_"I can't... I won't do that to you."_ She shivered as she suddenly remembered how his hot breath on her neck and ear felt as he had whispered it as if those eight words held the answers to life it self.

What did he mean, she wondered. He could have meant that he couldn't do the relationship, but his body language didn't seem to say that at all. He had rubbed his face against hers, and whispered softly in her ear, it had been a very intimate gesture coming from House. Cuddy bit her lip as she thought and after a couple of minutes her mouth came agape. They had been talking about his fear of losing his mind before any of it and then... his words, _"God I love you, I think I could have been happy forever with you Lisa,"_ suddenly sounded like those of a man on his death bed. They had talked when he first got hired about how hard it was to see the family/friends of a patient watch someone they loved slowly diminish into a shell of the person they were only to die anyway. _"I can't... I won't do that to you."_ she felt her breathing become quick as she grabbed the phone to call Wilson.

"Hello," Wilson answered quickly as he was leaving hospital.

"Wilson, I'm afraid House is going to do something stupid!" She said with panic

"Cuddy.." He tried to talk but was interrupted.

"Listen, I started rethinking what he said Wilson... I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself... I think he believes he's a burden on us!" Cuddy said frantically.

Wilson sighed, "Cuddy, he signed a DNR. I tried to stop him but... he wouldn't have it." He paused waiting to hear her response. "Cuddy?" He asked again this time with more worry.

Those words had been his death bed confessions to her. Her heart raced she should have known, he had said he loved her, hell he had even implied that he would have been happy in a marriage. The only reason he would admit that kind of thing was if he thought that this was the end. She suddenly heard a noise and looked up to see Wilson. She blinked and looked around to find that she was laying on the floor the phone laying slightly above her head. Cuddy wondered how long she had been this way. It seemed like only a second had passed since she was talking to Wilson. Speaking of Wilson he was now looking down at her with concern and reached out a hand.

Cuddy took the hand and he helped her to the couch. "You look a little lost," He said as he watched her, but she didn't really respond. He quickly got her a glass of water and picked up her phone setting both of them in front of her on the coffee table. "How did you know?" Wilson asked.

Cuddy took the glass of water and drank half of the contents, "I have wine in the cooler." She said dryly.

Wilson took the hint and came back with two wine glassed and a bottle of red wine. He uncorked it and poured her a half glass and himself the same serving. "How did you know?"

Cuddy looked at him as if seeing right though him. "When he first came to work at the Hospital, before the infarction, we talked." She took some unsteady breaths, "We were more like good friends, and ethics was one of his favorite topics. He would tell me how it wasn't humane to let someone slowly die or become a shell of the person they were not only to the patient but for the loved ones who had to watch it happen. He had told me that he wouldn't do that to his loved ones, but he was looking directly into me with those piercing blue eyes, it's like he knew that someday something like this would happen."

Wilson looked down and noticed that at some point Cuddy had drained her glass and poured her another as he took a good sip of his. "We had an argument today. I told him that I had a date tomorrow and asked if he would try not to have any close encounters with death and he implied that if I didn't want to spend time with him I should leave. It just set me off you know, I've been there for him so much lately it isn't that I don't care, it's just I needed to do something other than worry about him. So I reminded him that I was his medical proxy and therefore I got called on anything that happened with him and... I said that it was because I was the only one stupid enough to be his friend." Wilson paused and swallowed, "I shouldn't have said it, I was just so mad. Then he said that he would take me off as his medical proxy so I wouldn't have to be burdened with him and that he would sign a DNR and if I was lucky I wouldn't ever have to see him again. God... what was I thinking... I was just so mad I kept pushing." He took a couple of breaths and looked to see Cuddy watching him. "I... I said I didn't know what I would do if I didn't have to worry about what he needed and wanted all the time. I said... that if I didn't have to I might actually be able to be happy. I really didn't even say it I yelled it at him. He asked if I'd rather him died instead of Amber. He said he would rather have died than live through this and that's when I realized how much he was shaking. I told him to calm down, and he asked why. House said that his death would give us what we both wanted. I told him I didn't want him dead, that I didn't want to lose him and he told me that he was only a burden and was already gone. He said that there was no point to living if he couldn't do his job and he's afraid there is something wrong with his mind."

Cuddy's eyes were still on his, "So who's his medical proxy?"

Wilson heard the snip in her voice but couldn't blame her, "I talked him into leaving me as his medical proxy."

Cuddy poured herself another glass of wine, "I think he already had his mind made up before you two talked, not that it helped, so try and not be too hard on yourself Wilson."

Wilson looked at her a little confused, "So what, that's it we just give up along with him and wait until he has another panic attack and dies?"

"Don't worry, I'll have a talk with him first thing tomorrow and we'll get this cleared up." Cuddy said with fiery eyes.

Wilson frowned slightly, "I wish I could be more optimistic but Cuddy he didn't even have any fight in his eyes. No anger, nothing except sadness and defeat."

Cuddy gave him a half smile, "Well if anyone can find the fight in House I promise you it's me." She said and downed the glass of wine.

It was 6:05 in the morning when Cuddy walked in and looked down at House. Her heart ached for the man who had been through so much pain, stress and an emotional roller coaster. She hated the fact that she could see his side and quickly tried to push all of those feeling aside deep down so she wouldn't lose her resolve as she watched him squirm and mumble in his sleep. She let out a deep breath and gave him a decent push in the chest.

House coughed and looked up to see Cuddy though blurry eyes.

She put her hands on her hips, "You IDIOT! A DNR?"

House felt his heart escalate at her volume and took a sip of his water and blinked furiously since he was still in restraints. He could now see her hands on her hips and looked up to see her scowling at him. "It's already done." House said with out any snippy remarks.

She narrowed her eyes at him and braced herself for this. She grabbed his arms hard and saw his eyes widen slightly she leaned down so she was staring right in his eyes, "CHANGE IT NOW YOU MORON!" She knew she was going to have to be careful playing this game with him she could feel him shaking.

House knew what she was doing, she was trying to get back what he had lost, the fight... the will to live. "No," He said softly looking into her eyes that looked to be fuming.

"GOD DAMIT HOUSE! I SAID CHANGE IT!" She yelled even louder as some of her spit hit him in the face.

House's body was shaking more as his breathing was nothing more that ragged half breaths, "I... can't.. do that... to you.. or to... me." He said with sorrow in his eyes.

She let go of him quickly not wanting to be the one who panicked him until his heart gave out. Cuddy softly rubbed his hair as her resolve broke, "Don't please... Greg don't do this to me..." She said as her voice cracked.

House felt himself start to calm as his body was only shaking lightly and her hand ran though his hair. The pleading wasn't something he was prepared for and it was ripping at his heart, he was doing this to spare them all pain, not to hurt her. He closed his eyes and tightened his jaw, and then suddenly he gasped with his eyes still closed as he felt her lips and tongue on his neck.

"Don't do this to me Greg." Cuddy said and moved his head kissing his right on his jaw bone, and letting her fingertips rake slightly against his chest.

"You should stop," House said with his eyes closed hard as his breathing deepened.

"Don't make me miss you." She let go of her spot and sucked at his jugular feeling his breaths become heavy as one of her hands was still in his hair and the other was now rubbing soft circles on his chest and stomach.

House squirmed but it only make things feel better. "Lisa... please... don't."

She let go of his jugular only to lick and nibble on his ear, "There is more to life than just pain baby, let me show you." She whispered in a sultry voice in his ear.

House couldn't help the feral growl that escaped his throat. His blood feel like it was on fire and he opened his eyes to see her about to kiss his cheek when he pushed his lips to her with all of his might.

He pushed her head back from the intensity of the kiss. It was needy and sloppy as his tongue tasted every inch of her mouth.

She put her hand behind his head holding him there and her other hand now went under the hospital gown to feel the heat coming off the skin of his chest. She felt him growl his approval as his tongue danced with hers. She finally had to pull away to breath and heard a soft whimper leave his lips and his head lifted high to kiss her neck as she took deep swallows of breath. Her body was on fire with desire and if he hadn't been recovering from serious injuries she would have been on top of him in seconds. Cuddy wondered how he was able to make her feel like the prey as he feasted on her hot flesh growling even though he was the one tied down she looked down at the amazing man below her and his lips were on hers again.

After he had finally let go and kissed her it was all over he couldn't talk, he couldn't think, he could only taste and feel. And oh dear God did it feel good. It was the first time he had felt anything good since that night he was tortured. He couldn't get enough and when he felt her pull away to breath the only way he could vocalized his sadness was with a whimper. He lavished her neck with his tongue and lips and when he got to her jugular he sucked and bit at it softly but hard enough to leave his mark. To let everyone know she was his. He looked at her daring her to question the mark he had left and when he saw her eyes he quickly had her lips open as he drank her kisses as if they were air. He could feel himself hardening and it was painful as his burnt flesh was pulling, but he pushed back the pain. He could see images of Lisa naked... with him.. oh god how great it would be. Then out of no where he saw her sick and he suddenly felt cold inside. He could see her in a hospital room dying of AIDS while her young daughter watched and suddenly he felt nauseous. He pulled away from her quickly as he took long deep breaths.

Cuddy pulled back after he did to look at him. She blinked as he had suddenly become pale. "Greg, what happened?" She asked trying to stay calm.

He looked up at her with frightened and sorrowful eyes, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... it just felt so good... oh god.. what have I become." He said between breaths.

Cuddy frowned at him not understanding but feeling this pain that was expressed on his face with shimmering eyes.

House swallowed convulsively a couple of times as sobs wrecked through his throat. He looked up at her, "I can't let you get hurt because of me. I won't!"

Houses voice was raspy and Cuddy swallowed hard as she saw a tear threaten to leave one of those beautiful pools of blue. His hands were fisted, "Your afraid I'll get hurt if I'm around you right," she said.

House nodded and coughed, "Yes, because I'm weak."

Cuddy sighed, "I'm going to stay with you every minute of the day unless you get rid of the DNR."

House's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head, "NO! Lisa, please..." he stopped when he felt he hand on his shoulder and starting to run down his arm.

"If you get rid of it, I promise to keep my distance for the most part," she purred in his ear. Cuddy looked down to proof of exactly how much he liked her touches, "Then again, maybe you don't want me far away?" She said with a cocked eye brow as she looked at his flag.

House looked down and felt angry at himself for still having a hard on after those images. "I'll get rid of the DNR. Please just don't touch me."

Cuddy pressed the button.

"What can I do for you Dr. House?" the nurses voice rang though the room.

House sighed, "I'd like to get my DNR taken off."

"Okay, you'll have to sign paper stating that, I'll bring it to your room in just a moment." the nurses said.

Cuddy could see the stress return to House's face as he chewed his lip. She frowned, "What are you so afraid of will happen to me House?"

He closed his eyes seeing her in a bed dying while her daughter watched and he could feel bile in his throat. House looked her in the eyes, "Lisa..."

Cuddy eyes searched his as she saw him pale considerably and heard his pleading tone then she saw his body lurch and grabbed the plastic pan putting under him as he starts vomiting. She watched as he emptied his stomach which was mainly stomach acid and bile. She felt of his head which cold and clammy.

"So how are we doing today Dr. House?" said the slender red headed nurse who was looking at the paperwork. When she looked up she quickly went to the slide of the bed opposite Cuddy.

"It's okay. That's it sweetie, get it all out." She rubbed circles on his back. Once it finally looked to be over she put his water cup underneath him.

House took a large sip and spit it back out as he tried to rid himself of the taste. This went on for a couple of minutes and then he started drinking some. The whole time he avoid looking anywhere near Cuddy.

The nurse pulled the tray away that held the water on it. "Alright now to get you in something a bit cleaner." She said with a smile.

House looked at her with scared and slightly defiant eyes. "No, I'm fine. Just give me the damn paper." He said with horse voice.

"I'm not going to let you sit around in your own vomit, it just isn't fashionable." The nurse said trying to get a smile out of him, but only earned a glare. She leaned down, looking him eye to eye, she had read his file about what had been done to him and his anxiety about being touched, "I promise, I will not touch you, but I'll need your cooperation."

"Okay," House said slowly and softly awaiting his instructions. House watched her start unbuttoning the snaps that held the gown around his arms. She was swift and efficient all the time keeping her promise. Every now and then she would ask him to lean from one side to another or hold his elbows out, but she got through and hadn't touched him.

She grabbed a rag and wet it with warm water, "The rag is going to touch you so you don't have throw up around your mouth, but I wont, okay."

House was shaking his head lightly as he tried to come up with a good reason not to do this.

The red headed woman sighed as she could see the struggle on his face. "I could put on gloves Dr. House, would that make you feel better?"

House looked back up at her and could tell she knew, somehow she understood and it comforted him and scared him at the same time. He nodded and she quickly returned with gloved hands as she used the rag to wipe him up humming as she went and making sure she did a good job. House's eyes were studying her the entire time trying to figure her out but if she noticed she didn't let it be known.

Cuddy was amazed at how good the woman was with him. None of the other nurses had be able to get him to cooperate like she had. She couldn't help but wonder why he had wanted her to wear gloves but it had seemed to work well so she was thankful.

As soon as she was done House asked what had been on his mind for a while now. "Who are you?"

The red head put the rag away and gave him a slight smile, "I'm Dr. Ryan, or Dr. Psychobabble behind my back you can take your pick."

"So you're the psychologist Jackie has been telling me about." House said with a little surprise.

"Yep, what I'm not what you expected. Some one dressed in holier than thou clothing that studies your every movement as if you are some new experiment while they pretend to have all the answers to life. Nope that isn't me." She said and got up laying the DNR cancellation form attached to the clip board on his lap along with a pen.

House signed it and watched her as she picked it up.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Dr. House." She said and turned around to leave.

"Wait... that's it? Seriously?" House said his curiosity going into over drive. She stopped but didn't turn around. "It was a pleasure to meet me? So you like cleaning up vomit? It's some kind of hobby of yours." He said each word baited with sarcasm.

Cuddy bit her lip, Dr. Ryan was the first one that seemed to be able to compromise with House and now he was berating her.

Dr. Ryan turned and around and to both of there surprise she was laughing. "Now that would make me the freak you thought I would be wouldn't it."

House blinked taken off guard.

She slowly walked toward the bed. "It was a pleasure to meet you because you aren't anything like the nurses said you were. They said you were difficult, but you aren't as long as someone listens for what you want and doesn't just try and push ahead. They said you were violent, but you were only scared just a trapped animal would be." She looked down at his restraints, "They forget so easily that they've trapped you." She looked back up to see his eyes on hers. "They think your mean and cruel with you words, but in reality you are only as cruel a child that says what everyone is thinking but have been taught by society is rude to say or ask. You aren't cruel, no... you are way more rare that that. You're honest, which has to be hard at times, but it sure helps to keep people at a distance especially when you dress it up with quick witted jabs and sarcasm." Dr. Ryan noticed the flex of his jaw and determination in his eyes when she had called him honest along with the blink of his eyes when she spoke of how it help keep people away. She sighed, "You must have been hurt deeply by lies to hold on to the truth so hard."

House swallowed, "Everyone is hurt by lies."

She gave him a half smile once again what he said was true, but she noticed how he didn't elaborate on how much he had been hurt. "So let me get this straight. Everyone lies.. and lies hurt people... so if you don't want to be hurt you have to stay away from people... because you can't trust them... because everyone lies. That seems like a lonely sad circle Dr. House... are you sure it isn't more painful than being lied to?"

House looked away as he thought about the question. It was one that had racked his brain a many of nights... live alone... or live with lies.

Dr. Ryan could see his brain at work. "I really would like to talk to you more Dr. House. You are a very interesting man." She said with a smile

House rolled his eyes, "To bad I'm not looking for a relationship right now, I guess it's all because I don't like long walks on the beach," he said with mock sympathy.

Dr. Ryan gave him sad half smile, "I get it, pushed psychology doesn't work anyway. If you ever change your mind and want to talk just let the nurses know." She pulled out a card and put in on the rolling tray. "I really hoped you would give this a chance Dr. House. I believe that most people can benefit from having someone they can just vent to.. hell even yell at and know that they aren't risking one of the few good relationships they have. With therapy there is no risk... just think about it." Dr. Ryan said and left.

House looked down at his gown and swallowed looking back up at the card on the tray.

"You should," Cuddy said looking at him.

House scoffed, "Why? It's not like a conversation with a total stranger is going to change anything that's happening or has already happened. It's not like it will help my body heal faster." He said looking at her.

Cuddy looked at his stitched up face and the faded bruises. "You're right it wont, but it might make you feel better to get things out. You haven't even talked about what.. they did to you."

House closed his eyes, "I don't want to talk about what they did to me."

"And you don't have to House, but talking about it might help you to stop thinking about it." Cuddy said as she moved a hand toward his face and he jerked away from it. "I don't want you to be afraid of being close to me House, maybe she can help with that."

House looked at her with angry dark eyes. "She can't change that Cuddy, no one can," he said with a cold tone that let her know he wasn't going to discuss it.

Cuddy felt so mad as she took a deep breath. She was tired of not knowing what was going on. "How do you know. You haven't even tried, maybe you just don't care enough to try." She said with anger and disappointment in her voice but kept her volume normal.

House looked up at her with a fire in his eyes she hadn't seen in a long time. "So what.. this is all my fault? What happened to me... you think I planned it or something you think I asked them to... torture me all as a way to break up with you?" His eye was twitching, "I know she can't fix us because she can't change what happened to me... she can't make it where this didn't happen to me.. there isn't some magic pill for that!"

Cuddy shook her head, "I don't understand why what they did effects our relationship. I don't see why you are afraid to let me touch you or be close to you. It doesn't make sense to me House." She watched as he looked away from her. "Just tell me House, I want to understand why we both have to give up something that was so good."

House licked his lips and sighed, "I can't... yet."

Cuddy let out a frustrated breath, "Well maybe you could talk to Dr. Ryan about why you are emotionally unable to explain to me why we can't have a relationship anymore beyond friends." With that Cuddy grabbed her purse and started walking out but stopped at the door. "I get that whatever it is that you are afraid of seems real to you, but I deserve to know your reasons." She said still facing the door then opened it swiftly and left.


	33. Chapter 33: Chase see's for Himself

House rested his head on his pillow as he thought about Cuddy's words. He awoke at 10:30 to see Chase reconnecting the TV. "Wow when I fired you the last place I thought you would end up is a janitor for a hospital."

Chase rolled his eyes at House, "Oh goodie you're awake." He said with dread in his voice and turned on the TV.

House watched as he sat down in a chair beside the bed and started flipping through the channels. "Don't you have a job or something. Last I remember you were a surgeon at PPTH, so what are you doing here?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow as he just noticed that door was closed.

Chase continued watching the TV as he had found the news. "I still am a surgeon, but since you're absence Cuddy's had me helping your team and since Wilson is trying to get his work wrapped up this week so that he can take off time that means one of us is to babysit you everyday."

House stared at the door as he listened to Chase. For some reason the idea of being in a closed room with Chase was very worrying to him. "I don't need a babysitter," House said as he closed his eyes and was transported into his bedroom, it was dark and he could see the figures that loomed over him. The smell made him feel sick as burnt flesh took over his nose and looked at the wall noticing the closed door.

Chase glanced at House after his remark and was about to look back at the TV when he notice House's blood pressure was rising. When he saw it was only increasing he looked to see House's body shaking slightly. "House...House?" Chase waited for a response and when he didn't get one he took hold of Houses arm.

House started fighting with all that he had flinging his arm the best he could since he was restrained. "I'll fucking kill you if you don't get you're hands off of me! You hear me!" He yelled as he opened his eyes to see a surprised Chase let go of him with haste. House stared at him with wild eyes that seemed to calm slowly as he took in some deep breaths. "Open the door," House commanded and then looked away to stare at the wall.

Chase quickly opened the door and although House never looked to see he let out a relieved sigh as he heard it open. Chase sat down and looked back up at the TV as if nothing had happened and cleared his throat, "Are you okay?" He asked still watching the TV.

House swallowed, "I'll be fine."

Chase looked back at House and could see the uncertainty on his face. He studied the man that he had grown to think of as a mentor and some kind of father figure. House had always seemed to be so strong, so invincible that it unnerved Chase to see him like this. "You've either got a odd rash on you're neck or lipstick." He said with a cocked eyebrow trying to get rid of the tension in the room.

House shrugged and looked back at Chase, "What can I say the women just can't keep their hands off of me since I got here, it's better than a puppy."

Chase gave him a grin at the simplicity and yet oddly normal conversation. "I doubt it unless they came up with a way to keep you from talking."

House gave a bitter smile, "You mean like doping me up with 5 mg of Ativan every four hours, so I can't fight them when they have their way with me."

Chase blinked, "Five milligrams is ten times the normal dosage, did the doctor here even attend medical school?"

"He attended he's just an idiot who puts more value in what his nurses say than scientific facts." House said with bitterness.

Chase was about to ask him why he didn't just transfer to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, but before a word left his mouth he already knew the answer, privacy. Above all things House valued his privacy.

"Pass me the remote," House said.

Chase tossed it to his boss who looked at him like he was an idiot when it bounced off his chest and into his lap. Chase gave him an odd expression until House gave a exaggerated tug on his restraints while glaring back at him. "Forgot, sorry," He said and got up and put the remote under his right hand.

House pressed down on the button and winced a little at the pain produced by the pressure, which didn't go unnoticed by Chase even though he was smart enough not to mention it. They sat in silence watching TV for almost an hour when the nurse came in with his tray.

"Alright House, it's time for lunch," The nurse said as she put the food on his rolling tray and pulled off the top.

The smell almost made House gag, "Not hungry, even if I was I wouldn't eat this crap." He said as he pulled away from the smell.

The nurse sighed, "House you have to eat something." She looked to see his jaw set tight. "Some of your medication is to be taken with food, please just eat something."

House looked at the plate of revolting food, "I'll eat the jello," he said with a disgusted sigh.

The nurse looked at him with worry, "That's all you've ate off the last three trays."

"Look I've told you I'm not hungry so it's either the jello or nothing take your pick." House said with frustration.

"Fine," the nurse finally agreed and started feeding him the jello. "I should tell you that if you don't eat any dinner... then we'll have no choice but to put in a feeding tube."

"Great," House said coldly.

"How long has he been not eating?" Chase said with worry, and tried to ignore House's narrowed eyes.

"He hasn't eaten a full meal since last Wednesday. He starved himself until Saturday... and then there was... the incident and we put him on Ativan, then he would eat about half of his meals, but he hasn't eaten anything but jello since we took him off."

"House you have to eat, you know that." Chase said as if scolding a five year old.

"I'M NOT HUNGRY!" House yelled and took some deep breaths, "The nausea is too bad."

The nurse looked up at Chase with sorrowful eyes and a shrug. "Dr. House, I need you to be still alright. You've still got to take your medicine and then the Doctor said I could take the bandaging off of your neck."

House swallowed the pills that she tipped into his mouth and then pulled back as he saw her hands reaching for his neck.

She looked to see his heart rate increasing and stopped, "I'll have to touch you to get the bandage going but if you can lift your head I can do the rest with out touching you okay."

"I don't want you to touch me," House said watching her hands.

"I can do it," Chase said looking at House.

"NO! Don't...," House said with panic and took some breaths then looked at the nurse, "just put on some gloves first and make it quick."

She did as he asked but could still see his fisted hands shake as she took it off careful to only touch him when she had too. When she was done House avoided looking at either of them as he took long deep breaths to calm himself. The nurse made for a quick escape. Chase stared at the burns and stitches on House's neck in the pattern of a choke chain.

"Aren't you going to ask what happened," House said looking at him.

Chase looked up to meet House's eyes, "Would you tell me if I did," he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"No," House said coldly.

"I didn't think so, that's why I haven't asked," he said, "By the way, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for..." House's words faded as he looked out the window that Chase was looking out of to see Cameron.

Cameron walked in staring at House. Her eyes scanned him taking in the damage that she could see. "You looked like someone tried to decapitate you." She said with a frown.

"You're just jealous that I'll make a better Frankenstein's Monster than you will a Hooker at Halloween, that prize is so mine." House said with a fake smirk.

"Too bad there wasn't any brain damage," Cameron said as she walked over and gave Chase a kiss.

House gave a real smirk back, "Too bad you couldn't have grown real breast, who knows maybe when you hit puberty." He quipped back with false sympathy.

Cameron gave a half smile and looked down at his restraints, "You know those restraints are a good idea. I bet we could have saved the department thousands of dollars a year if Cuddy had just implemented those. I'll have to talk to her about it."

"You might want to wait until your boy toy is gone to start talking about how much you want me to be all tied down so you can do whatever you want to me." House said looking her strait in the eyes with a victorious gleam in his eye.

Cameron walked toward him, "Oh you and your fantasy's House. I'm happy now, I'm over the idea of tortured mentors who treat everyone like shit, that's why I quit." She said with a smile. Cameron looked down to see him watching her hands. She moved one close and noticed his eyes widen in fear. Cameron blinked sure she must have been mistaken and moved the other closer quickly to see him jerk back and then look down at the ground in defeat. She stepped back from him slowly, "Chase... can we talk."

House gritted his teeth as he heard Chase get up, "If you have something to say or ask me then you can at least give me the respect of doing it to my face." He said forcefully glancing up at her.

Cameron looked at him with sad eyes, "Great, do you have PTSD?" she asked holding her hands in a reassuring fashion.

"Yes," he said refusing to look away from her eyes.

She blinked several time never had she actually thought he would admit to it. "What happened to you?"

House looked away, "Nothing I want to discuss," he mumbled.

"Did you bring the Reuben?" Chase asked Cameron.

Cameron looked away from House and handed Chase the sandwich. "Just the way he likes it with mustard, no pickle, and BBQ chips."

Chase put it on the tray in front of House.

House looked at it, "You shouldn't have wasted your money, I told you I'm not hungry." His voice wasn't angry or cold like usual this time it was soft. House wasn't use to people doing nice things for him on their own and always felt uncomfortable about them.

Chase sighed, "House you have to eat, you won't heal properly if you don't. What if I take off the restraints so you can eat?"

House licked his lip as he though, "Fine, I'll try but no promises I already vomited once today."

Chase got the side closest to him while Cameron walked to the other side and undid the restraints being sure not to touch him.

They both looked in horror at the dark bruises that encircled his wrists as he rubbed at them.

"Did they do that to you here?" Cameron asked looking at the bruises on his wrists.

House looked at his wrists still rubbing the stiffness out of them while stretching his arms, "I'm not sure," he answered coldly.

They both looked at him wishing he would continue but neither was surprised when he didn't.

House opened the chips and ate one then looked up to see them both watching in anticipation. "I'm not some experiment you have to document. I'm sure there is more food in that big bag, just eat and stop staring at me." He was relieved when they started getting out their own food and started eating. He nibbled at the chips for a while and then went on to the sandwich. He ate three fourths of it before he felt too full to hold any more and had finished his chips. He could feel his stomach churning as it was in shock from having real food in it. "Thank you," House mumbled looking over towards the couple.

Chase blinked like an idiot, while Cameron gave him a polite smile, "You're welcome I'm just glad you ate it."

House looked back at the TV eager to avoid any more awkward moments by just ignoring them.

1111111111

"Hi," Cuddy said peeking into Wilson's office, "I was just wondering if you had time for lunch today, I'll buy."

Wilson smiled, "I'd love to catch lunch with you and I'm not House so you don't have to pay me off by buying my meal."

Cuddy smiled, "I just wanted someone to talk to, and I noticed you didn't eat yesterday and thought you might like the company."

Wilson got up from his desk grabbing his coat, "I would."

They went to a small Mexican restaurant down the street from the Hospital since it was decent and wasn't frequented by nosy hospital employees.

"So, I take it you've started dating someone." Wilson said.

Cuddy was taken aback by the question, "No... why would you think that?"

Wilson barely blushed, "Sorry it's just that you well," Wilson rubbed his neck, "have a … well it looks like a hickey on your neck."

Cuddy blushed significantly, "Oh... I thought I got that covered with make-up." She said pulling her at her top as if hoping it would turn into a turtle neck and cover the bruised flesh. "I stopped by to see House this morning before work."

Wilson couldn't keep the smile from his lips, "Oh did you now?"

Cuddy blushed even more, "Wilson, please..." she said looking away.

Wilson could tell that this was difficult for her, "Sorry, I'm just happy to hear you went to see him."

They both gave their order to the waitress and Cuddy played with her napkin a little. "I went to talk him into getting rid of the DNR." She mumbled looking up at him.

Wilson's lips opened and he swallowed, "Well what happened?"

Cuddy shook her head as it all still seemed somewhat confusing, "I thought I could scare him into it. I yelled at him and grabbed him hard then yelled some more."

Wilson looked worried, "What happened?"

Cuddy swallowed, "He refused to fight or change it, and... then I just started begging him." She swallowed, "I kissed his neck and told him that there was more to life than pain, and he asked me to stop a couple of times and then he... he kissed me back with such passion." She looked at Wilson to see what he would say.

Wilson frowned he knew that something had gone wrong, "Then what did he do?"

Cuddy sighed, "Then he pulled away, apologized and continued on with his rant about not wanting me to get hurt." She swallowed and looked up at him, "I told him if he got rid of the DNR I would stay away from him... and he … he agreed."

Wilson didn't know how to feel on one hand he was glad House no long had a DNR and on the other he felt for Cuddy and how confusing this must be for her.

"Wilson, I asked him what he was so afraid would happen to me and he turned white as a sheet and started vomiting. Please just tell me what is going on." She pleaded with him.

"He..." Wilson stopped himself, House had already forgiven him for so much. He couldn't keep pushing or someday he would go over. "I can't Cuddy, as much as I want to tell you so you can understand what's happening I can't."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him, "No Wilson you mean you wont. I can't keep doing this yo yo effect with him. One minute he can't stop touching me and the next he's breaking up with me and then he tells me he loves me... and the very next day he's pleading with me not to touch him. This isn't fair to me Wilson or him." Cuddy said as she looked down at the plate the waitress brought them.

Wilson sighed knowing what she was saying was true. "I'll talk with him about it," He said as he took a bite of his food and looked back up to see Cuddy staring him down. "I'm sorry Cuddy that's all I can do."

Cuddy gave a frustrated sigh as she took a couple of bites of her food. "I wouldn't tell him, if you did tell me. He would never have to even know that I had the faintest idea." She said with soft pleading eyes.

Wilson looked up at her with irritation as he took a swallow of his drink. "House almost died and in a moment of complete vulnerability he told me something that was very private and now you just expect me to tell you what it was?"

Cuddy pushed the food around on her plate, "He owes me some kind of explanation."

Wilson looked like he was about come up out of his seat. "He owes _you_?" He asked with clenched fists. "House came to your aid when Young hit you and because of that he was tortured so bad that he may never fully recover. Don't ever tell me that he owes you again."

Cuddy looked up to see Wilson's eyes on hers. She could tell he was barely controlling his anger and she blinked at him in surprise. "What they did to him wasn't my fault Wilson and considering all the things I've done for him over the years I think I'm entitled to say he owes me."

Wilson's eyes dug into hers as his knuckles whitened. "Fine I'll pay his debts. So how much does he owe you in cash value hmm? Make sure you get the sex in there, I wouldn't want you to forget and that hickey there how much damage is that?" Cuddy's face was once again blushed. "Or was that payment?"

Cuddy couldn't believe what Wilson had just said. "I'm not talking about that kind of stuff. I'm talking about times I've saved his job."

"He's the best Doctor in World at what he does! Don't act like saving his job was only for him. His name brings in tons of money for the Hospital and you know it! Just give me a fucking price and I'll pay it for him." Wilson spit with contempt.

Cuddy looked away, "I don't want money Wilson, I just want him to treat me and my feeling with respect." She said softly.

Wilson eyed her, "You mean like you do with him? How many times has he asked you to leave this alone and yet you haven't. Did you consider his feeling when you kissed him today? Or when you let some donor treat him like garbage on his first date in over a decade! How much time did you spend thinking of how he would feel when you tied him down, gave him a panic attack, and then hit him?" Wilson was somewhat pleased that she had the decency to look ashamed. "Contrary to popular belief House is human and I can promise you that you've hurt him just as much as he's hurt you. Neither of you treat the other the way you ought to, because you both take the other for granted. The Hospital and you would suffer with out House and House would suffer without you and the Hospital."

Cuddy looked up at Wilson being reminded of how she had hurt House wasn't pleasant but she did know that both her and House depended on each other. She sighed, "This is just so frustrating, Wilson I thought that this might... that House and I might actually work. You're right and I know he doesn't owe it to me, but... it doesn't make it any less painful to lose something that seemed so promising with out even a true explanation."

Wilson couldn't stay mad at her. He knew that she was going thought everything just like he was. It hadn't been easy on any of them since Mr. Young had shown up and they were all on edge. Wilson put his hand on hers, "We've all been through a lot lately, and right now I'm so afraid of pushing him beyond what he can handle. Yesterday he got a DNR and said he wished he was dead, Cuddy I really don't know how much more he can take."

Cuddy frown and turned her hand up to give his a squeeze. "Alright, I'll stop pushing him about it. This is hard on all of us, I'm sorry if I upset you Wilson, you have been wonderful to both of us." She gave him a small smile.

Wilson shrugged, "I don't know about that, but I'm trying too. I didn't mean to be harsh, I'm just.. so worried."

Cuddy nodded as her smile faded, "I know, I am too but we'll all get through this."

Wilson's lip curled slightly at her use of the word we. "So, do you regret getting into this weird family of friends that is House and me?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Cuddy bit her lip as she thought about it, "No," and the she let out a chuckle. "Maybe I'm crazy but grateful to have been accepted in."

Wilson gave a hardy laugh, "Well I think being somewhat crazy is part of the requirements." He squeezed her hand back and gave her a sincere look. "You have no idea of how appreciative I am to have you here for both of us, I'm not sure we would have made it this far with out you."

Cuddy could feel the tingle of warmth run through her at his words and how much they meant to her. "Thank you Wilson."

It was a little after one when Cameron got up. "Well, I've got to go, love you," She said bending down and kissing Chase then she looked back at House who was still staring at the TV and shook her head as she turned it off.

House cocked an eyebrow in annoyance of her, "If this is the part where you confess your undying love for me because I'm even more broken then before, I'd much rather just watch Judge Judy."

She gave him a smirk, "Actually I was just thinking it was about time to put back on those restraints before you get into trouble."

House subconsciously pulled his hands back up to his chest and rubbed his wrists. "I don't need them. I haven't done anything wrong. Just go." His words had been quick even though he was trying hard to cover the panic.

Cameron put her hands on her hips, "Well that doesn't matter because if the nurses come in here and find you without your restraints on it's Robert who's going to get into trouble so put your hands down so we can put them back on before I leave."

House's looked down at the restraints refusing to move his hands. "You don't have to worry I'm not going to hurt him Mommy," he said in a mocking voice that shook a little.

"House I don't have time for this just put you hands down." Cameron said in a raised voice.

House just stared at her with a tightened jaw.

"Fine, if you want to do this the hard way," Cameron said and grabbed his arm.

House jerked his arm from her an gave her a wild look with his eyes jerking "Get the fuck off me!" he growled.

Cameron let her hand fall and swallowed, she had never seen him act this way. He looked dangerous and she couldn't help but wonder if the restraints were more necessary than she had thought.

House looked away from her seeing the fear in her eyes. "I... I just need a minute," He said as he took calming breaths and ran his hands through his hair then looked back at them. He stared at the dark bruised and remembered the rope that had dug into his skin from when the soldiers had tied him down to his bed. House blinked as he tried to push the thought of that night from his mind. He gritted his teeth as he slowly moved his hands toward the restraints as they shook. "Alright just get it done with."

Cameron frowned and looked to Chase who nodded at her. They both made quick work of putting the restraints on as his arms shook. "We're done," Chase said softly.

House closed his eyes and gave them a measured tug to find that he was once again tied up. He looked down at the restraints with a pained look and licked his lips, "Great," he said with dread and turned his head to stare at the wall farthest from them.

Cameron felt a sudden urge to pull him up into a tight hug. She could tell he had been hurt more than any of them could see by his body. "You be good," she said trying to sound playful, but not quite pulling it off.

House swallowed, "Not like I have much of a choice anymore," he said bitterly not looking at her.

Cameron looked back at Chase, "I'm going to let the nurses know that he ate and I'll see you later at your place."

"Sounds good, be safe," Chase said squeezing her hand and she left.

There was a tension in the air after Cameron had left. House hadn't meant to snap at Cameron the way he had and he had a good idea that Chase was mad at him for it and planned to talk to him since he had the remote again and hadn't turned it on.

"I didn't mean to yell at her. I have a hard time controlling it." House said softly refusing to look away from the wall.

Chase let out a sigh, "I know." He chewed on his cheek trying to decide how to ask what he wanted in a way that House might answer.

House was unnerved by the short and then quite response from Chase. "She should have known not to touch me, she knew I had PTSD." He still was met by silence and turned his head to look at Chase who seemed to be thinking, "Still, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have... hurt her."

Chase looked down at House surprised by his words, "House, I get it. I'm not mad, she shouldn't have grabbed you, it was a rookie mistake." He fiddled with his hands for a moment and then looked back at House to see those blue eyes on his. "Just tell me that whoever did this got punished."

House blinked surprised by the anger in Chase's eyes even though he had kept his voice even. House looked down still blinking trying to decide whether or not to answer and after a couple of minutes he licked his lips. "I killed three of the four of them." He said slowly and softly as if talking to himself as he was still trying to wrap his mind around the idea that he had once again killed people.

Chase blinked as he was taken off guard by House's answer. He had been thinking more of someone getting thrown in jail, not killed. It was just so hard to process that the man that worked so hard to save lives had killed even one person on purpose let alone three. "Oh," Chase said not even realizing it.

House felt ashamed of his actions. "It was either them or me and I... I chose me." He mumbled and then turned his head to look at the wall again.

Chase looked down at House, "Well... I'm glad to know they didn't get away with this." He said not knowing what else to say.

"I'm not... I killed three men." House said as he swallowed and looked down at his tied down hands. "I didn't become a Doctor to kill people, if that's what I had wanted to do I would have stayed in the Marines."

Chase licked his lips, he had thought that the rumor about House being a Marine had been just a rumor. He thought carefully this was a place he had never found himself and felt sure he would never be again. House was talking to him, really talking to him about something personal and serious. "You only did what you had to do House."

"NO! I HAD a choice!" House yelled with a disgusted look on his face looking at Chase.

Chase was confused for a second and then shock covered his face, "You..." Chase licked his lips, "think you made the wrong decision."

House's jaw tightened, "Of course I made the wrong choice. Look at me! I mean really look at me. What kind of quality of life do you think I'm going to have?"

Chase swallowed, "You'll recover House, you... you always recover." He said not so sure.

House bit his bottom lip, he knew that Chase didn't know how bad his injuries were, with the gown and covers on he could only see so much. He knew that people were going to start finding things out soon enough, especially he's team, as he had taught them how to find things out, "Put some gloves on," he said looking away.

Chase did as House had instructed.

"Pull the cover back." House said looking down at his legs. Chase did so and looked at his legs. "On the left leg I have a broken femur." He said then swallowed, "Now, pull back that bandage on the right leg."

Chase was nervous as he pulled the bandage away. He saw House grit his teeth and wasn't sure if it was from the pain or from being touched. Chase looked back at the leg and felt sick as he saw the crater of missing tissue that was covered in bubbled raw torn flesh. "What... how..." He couldn't make sentences.

"That's what happens when some one puts a torch to already missing muscle tissue." House said staring at it.

Chase looked up at him with his mouth hanging open.

"Cover it back up, we wouldn't want it to get infected. Now pull off the bandages on my feet." House said looking at Chase who was now look several shades whiter.

Chase pulled them back and studied the burns, "Tell me those aren't brands," He said looking at House.

"Well look who's spent some time on a ranch." House said looking him in the eyes.

Chase looked down to avoid looking into House's eyes and then his eyes caught something else that he wish he hadn't seen and he stood up straight as blinked the image away. "They... burned... your... your..."

House realized what he had seen. "Well technically they electrocuted it too long and it got burned as a result of my wet underwear, but I can't fault you for assuming they burned it since you can't see the marks from the electrocution." House's body was shaking, "Alright that's enough cover me up." Chase did so quickly and they sat there in quite for a couple of minutes while House tried to calm down. "Most people can use their other leg to support their body weight building the muscles up with a broken femur, but... my right leg couldn't hold my body weight before laying up here for the past two and a half weeks while the muscle tissue is only decreasing."

Chase could see where House's mind was going. It seemed impossible that House would ever walk again, but if Chase had learned one thing from House it was that what seemed impossible to everyone else didn't necessary apply to House. "You weren't ever suppose to be able to walk after you lost the muscle in your leg, but some how you did."

House rolled his eyes, "Tell me you aren't asking me to pray really hard."

Chase gave him a half smile, "Not like it could hurt, but no. I was referring to how you never accept other people's diagnoses if you don't believe in them. I've hardly ever bet against your own judgment House and I wouldn't do it on this. If you think you can do it... make it happen some how, then I know you will."

House swallowed, "And if I think I can and I'm wrong."

Chase shrugged, "You've been wrong before."

House sighed, "Can we watch TV now."

Chase could tell the moment had passed and turned on the TV.


	34. Chapter 34: Wilson's Jealous?

It was late when House woke up. He looked toward the chair to see a blob with brown hair sitting beside him then closed his eyes hoping to avoid conversation.

Wilson sighed loudly to let House know he had seen him.

House snarled his lips but didn't open his eyes, "Why are you here?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I heard you had some visitors today."

House swallowed and felt his throat stick to it's self from being dry. "Not now Wilson."

Wilson picked up on the hoarseness in House's voice. "Here drink some water." He said putting the straw to House's lips.

House kept his eyes closed as he drank almost the entire liter of water, "Its been a long day Wilson just go home."

Wilson settled into his chair, "Why has it been a long day?"

House sighed and opened his eyes looking at the blob that was Wilson, "I got a bath today."

Wilson noticed House's red eyes immediately, "Did they give you anything?" He asked with worry.

"No," House said, "I asked them not too."

Wilson closed his eyes, "How bad was it?"

"Bad." House said and closed his eyes again.

Wilson looked at House and sighed, "And by bad you mean?"

"I MEAN REAL FUCKING BAD!" House said looking at blob Wilson. "It felt... like it was happening all over again."

Wilson swallowed, "Are you still hurting?"

"No, why would I be it isn't like they cleaned me with a soap that felt like fire while they scrubbed off pieces of burnt flesh... oh wait, that's exactly what they did." House said mockingly. "I couldn't even close my eyes, because when I did I saw them, and now it hurts just to open them."

Wilson didn't need to ask who he saw, it was understood. "House you should have taken something."

House shook his head, "I don't trust them not to give me something I'm not okay with."

"I should have been here House, I'm sorry," Wilson said solemnly.

House closed his eyes again, "I don't want you to see me like that, can't you get that? How was the date?"

Wilson was frustrated House didn't want to talk anymore about the bath. "It was good."

House pushed the buttons on the bed so that instead of being flat he was in more of a sitting position even though the movement hurt. He looked at Wilson with a cocked eyebrow, "Good? Come on give some details did you get a home-run in there at some point?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I'd rather not talk about it."

House blinked trying to clear his eyes up, "That sounds like a no to me."

Wilson shrugged, "Really because to me it just sounded like I said that I didn't want to talk about it." He was somewhat distracted by House's constant blinking, "Why do you keep blinking?"

"There's a film of sleep on my eyes keeping me from seeing clearly." House said with annoyance still blinking.

Wilson got up and opened one of the end table by the bed. "I've got some Visine, so if you can keep them open for a second or two I should be able to help you with that." House tilted his head back and Wilson put two drops in each as House blinked the excess out Wilson noticed Houses neck was no longer bandaged revealing the burns cuts and stitches.

House looked at Wilson and could tell he was studying the marks on his neck so he took the time to see what Wilson was wearing. "Plain white shirt with a horrible purple and gray striped tie, pleated gray slacks and a pair of french loafers no wonder you didn't get any. You're taste in clothing is so boring."

Wilson grinned as he walked back to the chair and sat down.

"Oh... wait, you dog! You actually got some and then left her to come and see me?" House said intrigued. "Are you mad?"

Wilson chuckled, "No, she understands."

House shook his head, "You got laid wearing that and then left to come and see me. Wow, there might have actually been hope for me if I hadn't gotten my privates burnt and an incurable STD."

Wilson looked at House, "You don't know that you have HIV, and even if you do it doesn't mean that you can't ever have a relationship."

House's eyes became cold, "Well that's something we have very different opinions on. Anyway we were doing so well lets just forget I brought it up."

"You can't just stop talking about anything we might disagree on House." Wilson said with frustration.

"Actually I can it's easy watch." House said and then shut his mouth and grinned.

Wilson narrowed his eyes, "Alright I get it you can, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea."

House sighed, "I just.. don't want to fight with you tonight. Can't we just go one day without fighting."

Wilson was still taken off guard when House's voice was soft and pleading, and honestly he didn't think he would ever get use to it. His hand reached for House's but stopped when he saw House's hand pull at the restraints farther away from him. "Yeah House, sure," Wilson said not quite looking him in the eyes.

House looked up at the ceiling. "Are you agreeing with me because you think I'm right or because I'm just too pathetic to argue with." By the end his eye's were on Wilson in a demanding way.

Wilson swallowed looking up to meet House's eyes, "You're right."

House cocked an eyebrow, "I know I am, I just wish I had back my old friend who didn't lie to me because he was too afraid of hurting my feelings." His tone had been cold and even.

Wilson stared at the ground, "Fine, I wish I had back my old friend who didn't pull away from me every time I go to touch him." He said looking up to see House's eyes on his.

House blinked, "I could be HIV positive." He said with his eyes searching Wilson's, "I'm so.. scared that I'm going to infect and essentially kill someone I care about because they touched me." House looked down, "and it's not like the PTSD helps."

Wilson stood up, "Don't tell me it's because you might be HIV positive. You're a Doctor you know how the virus is contracted."

House looked back up at him, "Yeah through blood, and I'm not much more than burns, stitches and bandages right now."

Wilson shook his head, "You know what it sounds like to me? The perfect excuse for you pull farther away from people, because god forbid you ever allow yourself to get close, to actually care about someone."

"You think I don't care about you, because I'm trying not to take a chance of you getting AIDS? So what shows you I care? You want to make a fucking blood pack and show me that the power of friendship can over come any thing even AIDS?" House said with irritation.

"I guess you weren't thinking about that when you left that hickey on Cuddy's neck." Wilson said calmly.

House looked at him in surprise and worry, "Whoa, wait... are you jealous I kissed her?" House watched as Wilson stood there refusing to look away but not talking either. He could feel his heart beat faster as he noticed the closed door and it felt like his restraints had gotten tighter and the air had became heavy. House looked back to see Wilson still looking at him. "Wilson... I don't," he took a breath and swallowed, "you're my best friend and I would do almost anything for you, but not that. Don't ask me to do that, because I... just can't."

Wilson hadn't been paying attention to what House had been say instead he was watching as House's blood pressure steadily increasing. "House just calm down." Wilson said walking closer and looking down at him. He notice the worry and fear in House's eyes. "Calm down House, it's alright." Wilson said as he used his right to hold House's face from turning from him.

House's panic at the touch made his body shake, "God Wilson, please don't... I'm sorry... please just don't do this."

Wilson let go and backed away, "House, what's wrong?"

House's eyes were closed tight as he took ragged breaths, "Please God no, not you." He whispered as he swallowed convulsively, "don't."

Wilson didn't know what to think of House's behavior, "House I'm not touching you, and you need to calm down. Just open your eyes and take some deep breaths."

House opened his eyes to see Wilson standing back and looking at him with confusion. He tried to calm down, "I can't... I'm sorry... I just..." House said taking long labored breaths.

"You can't what?" Wilson asked looking between House and the machine reading his blood pressure.

House looked down as he had finally stopped shaking, "I don't feel that way about you Wilson."

Wilson gave a goofy grin at first thinking it was the start of a joke and then faded as he started remembering what House had said. "Neither do I House." House looked up at him and finally started to calm down. "House... what did you mean when you said "please don't do this," and, "please God no, not you," What did you think I was..." He didn't need to say anymore the look in House's eyes said it all and his stomach turned. "I should go."

House could see the hurt on Wilson's face at the thought that he could think Wilson was capable of something like that. "Wilson, please just let me explain."

Wilson stopped but didn't turn back to face him.

House licked his lips as he tried to decide how much to tell him, and in the end he decided broad was best. "I use to believe that people had limits they wouldn't cross, but life has taught me that they don't. I have... People I have trusted have hurt me in ways I never would've imagined."

Wilson shook his head at the door, "Yeah but I'm not one of those people." House remained silent in a way that seemed to speak volumes, "Am I one of those people," he asked turning his head to look at House.

House hadn't expected the question and took a minute to think about how to word his response. "Yes, you asked me to risk my life and then you refused to have anything to do with me. You ratted me out to Tritter. I can't say I ever thought you would do that."

Wilson turned around, "I'm sorry for that and I shouldn't have done it but I've never physically hurt you House."

House didn't look away, "Then I guess I wasn't clear on how bad detoxing felt both times or you didn't stick around afterwords to hear about the brain bleed I suffered because of the DBS."

Wilson looked surprised, "You knew the first detox was me?"

House shrugged, "You're the only who cared enough to worry."

Wilson was frowning, "How could you think I would do that, or that anyone would unless..."

"I don't want to talk about this and by don't want to talk about this I really mean I'm not talking about this." House interrupted looking at the ground.

There was a tension in air. Wilson knew there would be nothing to talk about if the answer had been no. This was probably to closest House would ever come to confessing he had been sexually assaulted. Wilson swallowed hard as he watched House looking at the ground. "Christ, House," Wilson said softly as his mind began to wonder on when and who could have done that to House.

House looked up and could tell Wilson was already getting a list of questions in order, "I shouldn't have kissed Cuddy, it just felt good."

Wilson knew that this wasn't the time to push, "I wasn't jealous of the kiss, I was jealous of the fact you can let her get close and touch her but not me."

"Well if your rack was as good as hers," House quipped.

Wilson grinned, "Damn, I knew this wonder bra wouldn't fool you."

House let out a chuckle, "You need to keep up with the times Wilson, water bras are sooo much better."

"The wonder bra was on sale, and you know how I love sales," Wilson said.

House shook his head, "you make six figures a year and you're Jewish ways still keep you down."

Wilson cocked an eyebrow, "Hey I have to be thrifty when I'm buying both our meals."


	35. Chapter 35: Tension with Taulb

House woke up shaking with sweat running down him as he took a gasp of air from the nightmare he had just experienced. After he finally had caught his breath he looked around to see Taulb sitting in the visiting chair watching him.

Taulb swallowed, "I'm guessing you weren't dreaming of kittens."

House laid his head back down on his sweat drenched pillow, "No, I dreamed that I hired a team of idiot who instead of doing their jobs decided to pester me."

Taulb looked unamused, "Well technically I'm doing my job since it was Cuddy's orders that one of us sit up here."

House sighed, "Cuddy ordered me to do a lot of things, sometimes you just have to know when to put your foot down. What time is it?"

Taulb looked at his watch, "It's almost 11:00, why are you afraid you're going to miss an appointment?" He said with sarcasm.

House smiled, "Actually I am, turn the TV on to channel 18."

Taulb did so to see a show call Medical Mysteries coming on, "No soaps today?"

House shrugged, "Maybe later."

Taulb watched in interest as House had diagnosed all three of the cases in the program in only nine minutes. When the next one came on it only took him six minutes, but he had been wrong as to were the cancer was in one of the patients. Which seemed to have upset him considerably.

"I think you've had enough for one day." Taulb said as he lifted the remote.

"No!" House barked at him. Taulb looked at him in surprise but didn't turn off the TV. "One more, I'm just out of practice I can do this."

Taulb looked at him with confusion, "You've been right about every case and you've done it just by watching a program in less time than it takes to grab fast food."

"I was wrong about the cancer I thought it was pancreatic not testicular and I'm still behind my usual time." House said with frustration staring at the commercial.

Taulb blinked, "And what is your usual time?"

"Four minutes fifteen seconds," House said focusing on the TV.

"Wow," Taulb mouthed as he watched House's eyes scan the TV while listening as the program came back on.

This time House had them all correctly diagnosed in 4 minutes 45 seconds. "You can turn it off." House said staring at the ceiling with his jaw set.

Taulb sighed and turned it off, "I've never seen anyone do what you just did. I would have been happy to just get one of the three right."

House pressed the buttons so he was sitting more upright. "I'm not you and it's not like I had unrealistic goals. 4 minutes 15 seconds is my average time, I've done it quicker."

"Well maybe a good nights rest is needed, anyway I'm going to get something to eat, what do you want?" Taulb said gathering his stuff.

House smiled slightly, "Chase told you to buy my lunch?"

Taulb blinked several times, "Actually he gave me the money to buy your lunch."

"Sweet," House said, "I knew something was up when the nurse didn't come in here waving that plate of slop in front of me."

"Well," Taulb said waiting of his response.

"Since I'm sure you know of a good Chinese restaurant I'll have Pineapple Chicken tell them to make it spicy, a order of pot-stickers with hot sour soup." House said.

"Great I'll just get it delivered then." Taulb said getting his phone out of his pocket.

"You afraid I'm going to go MIA if you leave me for a couple of minutes." House said watching him.

Taulb smiled looking down at the restraints, "Nope, I got a good parking space when I got here and I'd rather not lose it and have to track half a mile from the Hospital."

"Whatever," House said an one of his nurses came in and put some pills in his mouth.

"I'm going to be taking out your stitches in your neck," She said as she pulled the tray to her side and started pulling out bagged instruments to use.

House looked unnerved but nodded, as he watched her put on gloves. He jerked the first time she touched him but remained still the rest of the time watching her closely and gritting his teeth. Luckily she was pretty quick. "Alright you're all done," She said putting an ointment where the stitches had been and a light wrapping of gauze in case it bled any. "Unless you want me to go ahead and get the ones on your head."

House thought about it, if she did it now it would be done and over with. "Yeah go ahead."

She gave him a smile and started, after ten minutes she was finally through. "This ointment is great for helping to diminish the appearance of scars so make sure they use if after baths." She said getting up.

"Sure," House said looking at the tube she put on the night stand.

"Food should be here in a couple of minutes," Taulb said looking at House with interest.

"Does that mean you're going to stare at me until then?" House asked with annoyance.

Taulb shrugged, "I just thought it was interesting that your blood pressure increased while she took out the stitches."

House looked up at the ceiling, "Why am I not surprised?"

Taulb was raised his eyebrows, "Um, I don't know, why aren't you surprised about what?"

House scoffed, "Don't act like you don't already know." When Taulb didn't respond House looked over to see him looking honestly confused. He had been sure that Taulb had made the comment to see if House would voluntarily admit to having PTSD, but as he watched the man trying to make a connection he realized Chase hadn't ratted him out. "So do you have any interesting cases?"

"You mean Chase didn't tell you yesterday?" Taulb could tell by the look House was giving him that he hadn't been informed. "He did say you slept almost all day. Well Dr. Cuddy has us all picking up Clinic duties and the hardest case she's been willing to give us was a man with chicken pox."

House frowned, "I'll have a talk with her."

Taulb cocked an eyebrow, "Do whatever you want just keep my name out of it."

House looked at Taulb with a serious expression, "But you are an important part of this don't you see. She has to know that you aren't happy with her treating you like an idiot. I didn't hire you or the others because I thought you were idiots, I hired all of you because you were the best."

Taulb felt his mouth go dry, "House I can live with her thinking I'm an idiot, I can't live without a job."

House frowned, "Don't you realize that during these troubled times it is up to me to communicate you and the teams demands to the dark overload before rebellion sets in."

Taulb blinked, "I never said anything about rebelling, no one has."

House kept his face serious as his eyes gleamed, "No one does until it happens. Don't worry I'm on your side. Mu-tin-y, Mu-tin-y, Mu-tin-y!" House stopped as a nurse and the delivery guy were both standing with the door open watching him with worried expressions.

Taulb turned to see them and got up and paid the delivery guy who gave House a quick glance to which House stuck out his tongue, and the delivery guy left.

"Hey there you crazy old cranky cripple," Jackie said as she walked in with a paper cup with pills in it.

House rolled his eyes, "You're not dead yet? (sigh) My hit man is late again! Then again when you find someone on Craigslist."

Jackie smiled, "Oh Dr. House, you think I'm afraid of death? I know where I'll go when I die, so I have no worries, when the lord take me I'll be ready."

House looked to be in thought, "Really? Are you sure, I was pretty sure that was a whites only club, but don't worry," House tilted his head towards Taulb, "he wont get in either he's a J-E-W."

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Like you would know. Anyway as much as I love having these conversations with you I'm only here to see you eat something and then stuff these pills down your throat."

House pulled on his restraints and then looked up at her, "You know, it might be easier for me to eat if I wasn't tied down."

Jackie cocked an eyebrow at him, "You're right, but then it would also be easier for you to start trouble."

House gave his sweetest smile, "Oh come on Jackie, don't tell me you're afraid of little old me." He said batting his eyes at her.

"House don't push it," Jackie said sternly.

"Tell me, how exactly do you expect me to do my hand exercises and practice eating if my hand is strapped down to this bed?" He asked innocently.

Jackie thought about this as she looked down at him, "Fine, but I swear House you do anything, anything at all to cause problems and I'll never take them off again. You got it."

House nodded and she undid them making sure not to touch him and stopped to look at his wrists, "How long have those been there?" She asked with slight worry on her voice.

House already had pulled his hands up and was rubbing the dark bruises and just shrugged at Jackie, "How would I know, this is the first time I've seen my wrists in the last five days." He said bitterly.

Jackie bit her lip as she studied them with her eyes, "Have you noticed any pain from having the restraints on?"

Both of House's eyebrows shot up, "I'm on morphine and have much worse injuries I'm recovering from even if they were hurting I wouldn't have noticed."

Jackie knew he was right and put out her hand, "Let me see them," she said waiting.

House kept his hands pull to his chest, "Gloves," he said with a serious expression.

Jackie sighed sadly as she looked at him, "Fine," she said and put on the gloves putting her hands out again.

House slowly put his wrists in her hands watching her face closely. She rubbed them softly, to which he tightened his jaw, then she gave one of them a squeeze which made him jerk. "Did that hurt?"

"No," he said quickly.

Jackie asked looking at him to see that his eyes were closed and his heart rate was increasing. "Alright I think I'm done." She said letting go.

House immediately pulled his hands up and stared at the bed.

Jackie looked at Taulb to see him watching House with interest. "Is some of that for him, because I can't leave until I see him eat something and give him his pills."

Taulb blinked as he looked up at her, "Um, yeah, here." He said as he unpacked the paper bag putting House's food on the rolling tray with chopsticks and plastic silverware.

House used the plastic fork to grab a pot-sticker and stuff it into his mouth, when he was done swallowing he leaned his head back and opened wide. Jackie gave a half smile and dumped the contents of the paper cup into his mouth. House dry swallowed them even though his water was well within reach.

Jackie gave him a warning look, "You be good," she said sternly.

House grinned at her, "Oh, I'm always good, sometimes I'm even great, well at certain things at least."

Jackie smiled, "Well it looks like you still are going to be out of commission on that." She said looking at his gown.

House blinked innocently, "I was talking about diagnosing patients, what did you think I meant?"

Jackie smiled as she started to leave, "Diagnosing patients, you still got at least six weeks, just letting you know if your little friends start playing doctor I'll have to not allow you to see them, Dr. House." She said as she walked out.

Taulb looked at the door Jackie had left through and then looked back at House, "Someone's got your number, looks like you've been making friends."

House shrugged, "What can I say they love me here." Then he popped a piece of the Pineapple chicken into his mouth. They ate in silence but House did notice that Taulb was watching him closely. When House was done he leaned back on the bed and closed his eyes, "Quit staring," he said in a demanding tone.

Taulb looked down, "I'm sorry," he said softly, embarrassed to be caught, "I was just wondering why you didn't ask for a plastic surgeon to stitch you up, there would have been less scaring."

House swallowed but didn't say anything. Taulb leaned back in his seat and picked up one of the medical journals out of the box Wilson had brought. "I'm told I barely made it here alive, so there wasn't really any time for demands, which would have been pretty odd considering I was out cold."

Taulb shrugged, "I get that, it's just everyone knows of your name, I figured that means they would have made sure to have their best working on you."

House sighed still refusing to open his eyes and have a proper conversation. "I'm sure after seeing the scar on my leg they realized that it would be kind of useless to try to pretty me up."

"But that's always covered with clothes," Taulb said looking at his face and neck, "There's no discrete way of hiding that."

House swallowed hard and pulled the covers over his face.

Taulb felt the pang of guilt hit him, if there was anything that working in plastics taught you it was that everyone was self conscious about their appearances, even people like House. "I didn't mean..."

"No I get it, and you know what you're right. I mean how inconsiderate of me to make you look at me, I know I get nauseous just looking in the mirror." House said muffled slightly by the cover.

Taulb opened his mouth and then shut it again knowing that there really wasn't anything he could say. He looked at House and decided he might as well ask, "So are you going to tell us what happened?"

House looked up at the covers and blinked he knew that it was only a matter of time before they figured it out, but he still wasn't ready, "I work in the circus for extra money as a human cannon ball."

Taulb rolled his eyes, "Really, what a coincidence I do too as one of the clowns in the car."

House laughed, "Now it makes since how they fit ten of you in one of those cars."

Taulb looked slightly annoyed as he watched the covers move in unison with House as he laughed, but then gave a half smile.

It was two hours later when Taulb notice House was pulling at the covers and mumbling. Taulb got up and pulled back the covers from House's face. "No... no... don't..." House mumbled with a scared face and his eyes squeezed shut and sweat running down his brow.

"House it's okay, it's just a nightmare," Taulb said watching as House only pulled at the covers more.

"Can't breath, stop..." House said now taking ragged breaths.

"HOUSE!" Taulb yelled.

"NO!" House screamed and bolted up from the bed with wide eyes as more sweat ran down him making his gown stick to him and his body shiver. He was looking right in Taulbs eyes, then closed them and took some deep breaths as his body shook.

Taulb sat back down in the chair watching House with concern. "Want to talk about it?"

House just shook his head as he still tried to get control of himself.

"House, I'm not a therapist but..." Taulb began but was interrupted by House.

"I'm so glad we established that, now just shut up and give me that square container." House said not meeting his eyes.

Taulb got up and grabbed the container giving it to House who vomited in it as his fisted hands shook holding the container. Taulb grimaced as he watched, "That must have been some bad dream." House didn't say anything as he vomited again.

After a couple of minutes House was laying back against the bed empty again and pushed the call button. "Hey, the infections getting worse!" he said with irritation then let go.

"Um... alright I'll send someone in there in just a minute." The nurse said.

Taulb looked nervous, "So what have they got you on for the infection."

"General antibiotics," House said through gritted teeth as he gave his morphine some extra pushes.

"It's hurting," Taulb asked watching the machine read off the numbers of morphine being dispensed.

"Not as bad as it will when they drain it." House said trying to prepare himself for it.

Taulb looked down, "Where is it?"

House swallowed there was no point in not telling him since he would see soon enough, hell maybe he would leave if he knew. "My right thigh." House said with an edge in his voice.

Taulb looked back up at him, "What happened?"

Houses eyes seemed to turn to stone as he looked Taulb in they eyes and his voice had a chill to it, "It got burned."

"Deliberately?" Taulb asked shocked.

"Does it matter," House asked looking at him warning eyes.

Taulb could tell this wasn't the time to push House, "I guess not."

They both heard the door open revealing Jackie again. House looked nervous and she went ahead and put on gloves. House pulled the covers back from the leg watching her as she walked closer. She gave him a sorrowful look and then looked down at his thigh and pulled back the bandage to see that the raw flesh was more irritated and swollen than usual. She gently put her hand against it to feel the heat of the fever. She looked back up at him to find his eyes on hers. His jaw was locked defiantly but there was something in his eyes that was pleading. Jackie knew he was letting her know he was ready but to try and go easy on him. She gave him a quick nod, there didn't need to words when they both already knew what the other one was saying. She pulled out a large syringe from her pocket and took off the protective cover. She licked her lips as she looked at the burnt flesh with the skin hanging open.

Jackie looked back to see his eyes still on hers and he nodded. She gave him a half smile and grabbed a bottle of rubbing alcohol and poured some in the wound. She saw his body stiffen and sighed as she felt around for the puss pocket as House stayed still while grinding his teeth. When she found it she positioned the syringe and quickly pushed it in deep and started pulling back on the plunger to find it didn't want to move, when it finally did a lump of yellow green infection came out with some yellow liquid then it stopped up again. House was watching with disappointed yet certain eyes, "You're going to have to squeeze it out, it's too thick for the syringe."

Jackie shook her head, "Maybe I could get a bigger syringe?"

House looked at her with cold eyes, "It wouldn't work and you know it, you're going to have to cut it and squeeze it out."

"What should I give you to knock you out?" Jackie asked looking at him.

"Nothing, I'll be fine." He said refusing to look away from her shocked face.

"Dr. House, I highly recommend that you let me give you something." She said praying he would.

House still didn't trust her enough to allow that, "No," he said and laid back waiting for her to start.

Jackie grabbed a wrapped scalpel and made a short deep cut over the pocket. She looked over to see his hands fisted as he took steady controlled breaths as she grabbed small box of tissues, some alcohol wipes and tweezers.

Taulb looked at it and looked like he was about to gag.

She gave a good squeeze and green and yellow puss flooded out of the small cut and mixed with the blood from the raw flesh that was around it and she gagged as the smell reached her nose. Taulb turned away from it and looked at House who had his jaws locked as he took ragged breaths from his nose as his fists shook.

"I'll just be outside," Taulb said and left watching through the glass as she continued to squeezed and wipe up the infection with the tissues it went on for a couple of minutes before he saw her using the tweezers to pick out thick lumps of puss. House didn't make a sound through the whole thing but his body shook from the pain of it and Taulbs stomach turned when House would jerk up from the pain. Taulb grimaced when he could see it was finally done and watched her pull the needle off of a syringe and fill the tube with alcohol then put it in the small hole and push it in to flush it out. House bit down on his blanket as he shook and she squeezed the alcohol out, then wiped all around it with the wipes and covered it back up with several pieces of gauze.

Jackie looked over at him now that the infection had been cleaned out and covered. "You know that your stubbornness only causes you more pain right?" She asked sadly as she saw the beads of sweat that clung to his brow on his pale face while his lips were pulled tight from the pain.

"Yeah, it's a shame that you can't trust people to respect your medical wishes while you're out anymore." He said bitterly as took deep breaths.

Jackie swallowed a lump in her throat, "Talk to Dr. Ryan, she can help."

House looked down, "That's the problem with people in the medical field, they think everything can be fixed... because if there is something that can't be then they wouldn't be in control." He shook his head and looked back at her with truthful eyes, "In reality all you can to is figure out the problem and at some point you have to realized that not all problems can be fixed, somethings were broken so long ago that pieces are missing or... were never there." House said and blinked looking down again.

Jackie frowned, "Call me if you need anything else," she said and left. When she made it out the door Taulb looked at her expectantly. "I got it cleaned out, but he's pretty tired so please don't keep him up."

Taulb nodded and went back in to see the covers moving as House shivered underneath them. He opened some drawers and cabinets until he find some more blankets and spread them on top of House. Neither of them said anything instead they sat in a comfortable silence. It wasn't long before Taulb heard House let out a soft snore.


	36. Chapter 36: House Stands up for Himself

House woke up sweating again and trying to catch his breath, he looked around to see that the chair Taulb had been in was now empty he itched his chest and smiled as he saw his hands were still free.

"Hey, still having nightmares?" asked one of the many nurses House hadn't bothered to learn the name of.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "Who say's that they are nightmares?"

She sighed, "You know what, I would fight with you if there was a point to it, but there isn't. So it's time for a shower."

House grumbled as he pulled the covers over his face, "Come back later," he mumbled.

She pulled the cover back down, "Sorry, I've waited as long as I can, it's already past supper. See I was nice enough not to even wake you up since I knew you wouldn't eat." She said as she started unhooking him from the equipment.

House frowned, "What kind of jello did they have?"

She rolled her eyes, "Cherry with whipped cream, and yes I saved you some."

House gave her a smile, "At least I have one friend in here... Nancy?" He said as he read her badge.

She shook her head, "So how did you manage to get loose today?"

House gave her a sly grin, "Oh you know, how these things go. Someone feels sorry for the bad boy cripple and starts talking to him. Next thing you know they are untying the bad boy so he can do some bad things to them." He said wagging his eyebrows.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, "I'm pretty sure the doctor hasn't signed off that you can do... "bad things"." She said putting quotation marks around 'bad things'.

House smiled, "I'm a rebel."

"Is there anyway I can tell you to get naked, that you won't take the wrong way?" She asked looking at him.

"Absolutely, NOT! Mrs. Nasty Nancy." House said as he sat up in the bed and saw the windows to his room were open, "You mind closing those."

Nancy looked over and closed the blinds, "There," she said and turned around to see him standing on his shaky right leg as he tried to get turned around to sit in the wheelchair. "Wait," She said running up to him and wrapping her arm around his waist. "What do you think you are doing?"

House tried to remain calm at her touch, he kept reminding himself that he still had on the gown. "I've gotta learn to do this for myself at some point." He said and suddenly lost his balance but she had a tight hold on him and guided him down into the chair.

She looked down at him with a frown, "You aren't naked."

House didn't look up, "Well look who's the eager beaver?" He said though his voice was tight, "I'm sure you can wait until we get in the shower."

She put on some special gloves that went up to her elbows and put on a plastic gown that covered her, "Alright here we go," she said and tried to push the wheelchair only to look down and see him holding the wheels so it wouldn't move. "Now you know we have to do this," She said softly.

"I know, it's just, I want to try pushing myself in." He said.

"Okay," Nancy said letting go of the wheelchair, "but remember to be careful with your right hand, it isn't completely healed and I don't want you hurting it. Actually really this isn't a good idea maybe you..." She stopped talking as she saw him move the chair tentatively at first and then he turned around in it.

"Hey, look now I've got wheels." He said smiling while wagging his eyebrows.

She smiled as he rolled back and forth, then grabbed the wheelchair pushing it on the ground, "No, wheelies!" she said smiling.

House looked up at her and grinned, "I don't think it really counts if you're smiling."

"Don't make me be mean. Now get in the shower, while I grab the cleaning supplies and when I get in there I want you naked!" She said as she walked away.

"That's what they all say!" House said as he wheeled himself into the large shower and took off the gown along with the bandages. He heard other people moving outside the show and became nervous when Nancy came it. "Who's out there?" He asked.

"Just the cleaning girl, she's going to get you some nice clean sheet and a clean pillow." She walked around and looked at him, "I'm impressed, you actually listened to me."

House chuckled and looked down, "Well it's always nice to hear a women say she's impressed when she see's you naked."

"So Mr. Independent... are you going to let me wash you today or are you going to give it a try." She asked.

"I'll give it a try," He said as he turned on the water and she pulled the curtain to standing outside in case he needed something. House sighed as the warm water ran over him. Twenty minutes had passed by the time that he was finally done washing and scrubbing which had left him feeling raw and worn. He moved the wheelchair so that he could stick his head out of the curtain and saw Nancy standing there looking at him.

"Are you done?" She asked looking down at him.

House ticked his tongue against his teeth, "All except my back," he said looking up at her.

She gave him a smile, "Oh good, I was beginning to feel rather useless with your new found independence." Nancy opened the curtain and House quickly moved his hands to cover his right thigh and genitals. She lathered the rag and started rubbing his back. House let his head hang as she rubbed his muscles as if giving him a massage every now and then she would rub one of the burns but she was careful not to over do it. When she was finished she rested the rag on his shoulder, "Alright, you're all done now."

House nodded with his head still hanging and turned off the water. "Towel?" he asked trying to figure out the best way to do this.

Nancy quickly handed him a towel and watched while biting her lip as he tried to stand facing away from her.

"If you could dry the seat of the wheelchair and put a dry towel on it I can get the rest when I sit down." He said as he held on firmly to the safety bars that lined the bathroom.

She started as soon as the words were out of his mouth though it took her twice as long as she kept looking back to him to make sure he was standing steady. "Okay it's dry and there's a clean dry towel for you to sit on, just be careful." Nancy said watching him as he slowly lowed himself to the chair, and started drying off his front, still facing away from her.

"Ready for my stylish hospital gown," He said looking over his shoulder.

Nancy handed it to him with a smile, "You know, I think you pull it off rather nicely."

House grinned as he put it on, "Well I have to say I look better with it on that I do without it." He said as he pushed his wheelchair out of the shower.

"Wait," She said as she grabbed a towel and dried his hair. When she was done she could tell he was a little tense but all in all he seemed alright.

House froze when she touched him but it was soon over and he sighed. She stripped off the long gloves and the plastic gown. "So, what are you waiting for?" She asked.

House wheeled himself out of the bathroom and into his room to see Wilson now sitting in the visitors chair.

Wilson raised an eyebrow, "Wow, I didn't expect them to let you in a wheelchair this soon."

"He kind of stole it from me," Nancy said looking down at House who was giving a mischievous grin as she put on new gloves.

House pulled up by the bed and let the left armrest down and pushed himself up on his right leg. Wilson quickly stood up and went to his side. "I'm fine, okay well I'm still rather wobbly but, it's good right?" He said turning slightly and sitting on the bed while Nancy hooked him back up the the machines and made quick work out of bandaging him up.

Wilson blinked as worry left his face and smile took it's place, "Yeah House, it's great."

"Oh, there you go over praising again." House said and then looked at Nancy, "You should see how excited he gets when I eat something."

Nancy smiled and grabbed the wheelchair to leave.

"No... wait... you don't have to take the wheelchair back." House said looking at it longingly.

Nancy sighed, "Actually I do. I'm sorry but they only just took off the restraints today and I wasn't even suppose to let you use it yourself. I'll leave a message for Dr. Tucker about how good you did with it, but he has to okay me leaving a wheelchair in your room."

House looked down with disappointment, "Yeah," he said giving the morphine button a couple of pushes.

Nancy pouted slightly, "You did great today, but don't rush it alright."

House nodded but still looked at the chair as she rolled it away when she left, then looked at Wilson with a gleam in his eye, "You could bring me a wheelchair to practice with."

"House, she right you need to take it slow, and if I bring one up here you won't take it slow." Wilson said reasonably.

House sighed and looked Wilson in the eyes, "Fine, I promise I'll take it slow." he said seriously.

"House..." Wilson whined.

"No, seriously I will take it slow, not even out of the room I swear," House said now with imploring eyes.

Wilson felt guilty when he looked away, "I'm sorry House, but I'm not going to until Dr. Tucker thinks it's okay."

House couldn't believe Wilson was saying no. "I'm ready you saw me. I can do this Wilson."

Wilson still didn't look at him, "I'm not changing my mind on this House."

"And why the hell not?" House asked irritated.

Wilson looked up at him, "Because, as happy as I am to see you excited about something, I'm not willing to put your health in jeopardy for it."

House stared at him, "My DOCTOR told them to give me 2 milligrams of Ativan every four hours and you let him! MY DOCTOR let them put restraints on a man who almost died the last time he was tied down!"

Wilson looked at House sadly, "You mean you."

House looked at him like he was an idiot, "That's what I said."

Wilson sighed, "No House, you said on a man who almost died."

House blinked, "It's the same thing you knew who I was talking about."

Wilson swallowed, "No House, it isn't the same thing at at all. Talk to me about what happened, and I'll bring you a wheelchair."

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "Fine!" he spat.

Wilson blinked in surprise, "Ummm, okay just start at the beginning."

"NO! I meant FINE as in you can keep your fucking wheelchair." House said with frustrated anger.

Wilson was taken aback by House's anger, "House you need to talk about this."

House shook his head, "Why does everyone keep saying that! How can you tell me what I need? Did it happen to you? Do you have any idea what it's like to have no control over what's done to your body?"

Wilson licked his lips, "No, but maybe if you talk to me about it I could understand."

House's eyes boarded into his, "You think you can understand something like that by talking to me. You think it's that simple. You will never know what it's like unless it happens to you and I can tell you, you don't want to understand! You don't ever want to know what that feels like, because it's not something you ever forget!"

Wilson saw House's eye twitch as he had talked and swallowed at the meaning behind those words.

"Well, you are going to have to talk about it tomorrow, the police will be here to take your statement." He watched as House looked away, "What did Tritter do to you?"

House took a breath, "Why?" he asked his eyes now glued to Wilson's.

"Because I should have asked then, but I didn't, and I want to know." Wilson said truthfully.

House closed his eyes, "Why?" he asked again.

Wilson swallowed, "Because I care House."

House looked down, "He wanted me to scape the rash on his penis to send off for test and when I told him that it wasn't necessary because I already knew the reason for the rash. He got pissed, and acted like I didn't know what I was talking about and when I got up to leave he tripped me and I fell into the medical cabinet. Then he said that the only reason I get away with acting the way I do is because I was a cripple."

Wilson thought about it, "What happened when you two talked in Cuddy's office?"

House rolled his eyes, "Oh well see he first told me how much he wanted to kick my ass, and then said he would accept an apology instead. So I told him that he could say I said whatever he wanted but that I wasn't apologizing to him."

Wilson took a deep breath, "House?"

House looked up at him waiting.

"What happened during the 48 hour he had you locked up?" Wilson asked and as he saw House look away he called him, "House... look at me." House swallowed nervously. "House you didn't do anything wrong so stop looking down as if you should be ashamed or embarrassed. Just look at me and tell me."

House blinked at Wilson even thought it sounded like an easy task House was having problems as his mouth would open to start talking and close on it's own. It took a couple of minutes and Wilson was about to give up when House finally spoke, "Tritter took away my vicodin and then he... he hand cuffed me to the bars and started hitting me. He didn't allow me to eat, but every two or three hours he would come in and just to beat me, even when he wasn't on duty. That's why I said there was nothing to worry about, I thought he had gotten what he was after then."

Wilson remembered how sore House had been when he picked him up at the Police Station and shook his head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

House was irritated, "I didn't see a point to it. I thought it was over."

"The point is to turn him in and make sure he never does that to someone else again, to get justice for what was done to you." Wilson said looking at House.

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "See, that's exactly why I didn't tell you."

"You mean because I wouldn't have just let it go like you did! I get that you're proud House and don't want people knowing something like that was done to you, but where the hell is your self respect!" Wilson said loudly

House's hand was shaking as he gripped the bed rail tightly, "I still have self respect, he didn't get what he really wanted. I never apologized, I didn't make a sound while he hit me even when he kicked my thigh. He wanted to break me but he couldn't," House said now with a bitter smile and dark eyes as he let out a menacing laugh, "no... no he wasn't even close."

Wilson watched House with worry, "Were these guys close?"

House's eyes never wavered, "They were closer to killing me than breaking me, but finding out about the HIV did make it closer than most, except Korea."

Wilson frowned, "Even this you didn't involve the police, I called them. You've been avoiding giving them your statement about what happened. It's like you don't think they'll believe you or..." Wilson swallowed, "you've been conditioned to just except people treating you like this."

House stared at him with intensity, "People do keep treating me this way and they always will because I'm an bastard. I've just learned to except it."

Wilson's face was troubled, "You can accept people will physically hurt you, but you still can't accept peoples kindness, or help." He sighed, "I've always joked that you were fucked up in the head House but I guess I never realized how much. You need help, you're allowing things that never should have been allowed and pushing away what everyone needs."

House raised an eyebrow, "I'm not everyone, I don't need peoples kindness or help, and I definitely didn't allow people to do this to me. I fought them I've always fought them, so don't try to make it sound like I'm some scared child who just laid there taking it saying yes, sir with each hit."

"Yes, sir?" Wilson repeated thinking about it and suddenly his eyes locked with House's, "Oh my god, that's what this is about."

"Shut up Wilson," House demanded.

Wilson wasn't fazed, "That's it isn't it, that's exactly what he did, your father..." Wilson froze as he saw House push himself out of the bed as the equipment he was attached to moved with him.

House was standing on his right leg while his left leg hung uselessly, "Don't say another Fucking word you hear me." He said looking down at Wilson as he swayed holding on to the bed railing with his right hand.

Wilson was as still as a statue as he looked up at House, his eyes swayed back and fourth following House's. Seconds seemed like hours some how as both men watched the other. As long as House and Wilson had been friends there had been fights, disagreements, and times in which the other crossed some unknown boundary. But nothing quite like this, which is why Wilson couldn't let it go, he wasn't sure if he was right, but he knew that he had gotten closer to the truth than House liked. Very slowly and soft Wilson spoke, "Tell me I'm wrong House."

House stared down at Wilson as he tried to decide what to do, so far it was between knocking in his teeth, telling him to fuck off, lying, half-truth, avoidance, or... he could explain exactly what his childhood was like and make Wilson flesh crawl as his stomach turned. "What the hell makes you think I owe you an answer? HUH!" House watched as Wilson just sat there searching his eyes, "Answer me dammit!" He said leaning toward Wilson which made him lose his balance and Wilson stood up quickly catching him around the waist. House jerked as his body tensed up at the touch.

Wilson could feel House's muscles tighten and hear his rapid breathing. He could hear his hand grasping and finally get a hold of the bed. Wilson released the railing for the bed and pushed him up against it trying to make him sit down.

House gave him a hard shove, "Get off me." Wilson let go and stood watching as House leaned against the bed. "Never act like you KNOW my family again, because you have no fucking clue as to how my family is or was." Houses voice had been low but strong.

Wilson felt his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed, "House I..."

House interrupted him, "Did I ask for an apology? No, I asked for you to promise you'll never act like you KNOW my family. So... can you do that or do I go from having one friend to no friends."

Wilson saw the seriousness in House's eyes, "I promise I'll never do that again."

House nodded as he sat down on the bed and rubbed his left ribs, when he felt liquid he stopped looking down to see he had pulled a stitch out and was bleeding. He looked up at Wilson with big worried eyes, "I'm bleeding."

Wilson looked down at the blood on House's gown, "House it's okay, it looks like you just pulled a stitch. We'll just call the nurse, it'll be fine."

"I know that you idiot, I'm not worried about that. Did any get on you?" Wilson blinked and took a step back to look at his gray suit jacket to see the right side smeared with blood. "Just on my jacket." Wilson said.

"Take it off let me see," House said looking at the spot with worry.

Wilson sighed, "House we need to get a nurse in here to stitch you back up."

"I'm fine, I can stitch myself up if I need to but I'm not calling anyone until I'm sure you didn't..." House stared at the blood stain, "get my blood on your skin."

Wilson took off the coat to see some blood on his light blue shirt and looked at House who was looking paler as he watched. Then he stripped off the dress shirt to reveal a white under shirt that had a smaller amount of blood on it and finally he quickly took off his undershirt and looked down to see clean flesh. He smiled and looked at House who looked at the pile of cloths Wilson had taken off.

"Put them in the Hazardous Waste Material bag in the corner," House said coldly now looking at his hands which were shaking.

Wilson licked his lips and hung his head, "House, I'm sure that's not necessary."

"Really?" House snapped looking up at him, "You're sure I don't have HIV, because today I found out my infection is only getting worse even though I'm taking two different antibiotics."

Wilson closed his eyes at the news, although it could be a lot of things causing that, HIV was among the list. He looked back at House, "Even if you did have HIV, the chances from catching it from my clothes are zero House."

"If they are zero then why is there a protocol to discard any material with HIV blood in the Hazardous Waste Materials?" House said watching him closely.

"I don't know House," Wilson said.

"Well I do, because in 2003 a girl age 7 was playing in her mothers laundry and some how got the virus. So put on gloves, and throw them out, they were ugly anyway." House said coldly.

Wilson sighed, "And if I do that what do you expect me to wear?"

House shrugged, "I'm sure there's an extra gown around here some where."

Wilson grimaced, "Hey, take off the gown let me see how bad it is," he said as he walked towards House.

"No! Stay away from me," House said as he pushed himself as far away from Wilson as he could on the bed accidentally pressing the call button.

"Hello, Dr. House is everything okay?" Asked a female voice over the speaker.

House looked startled but kept his eyes on Wilson, "I pulled a stitch or two, so I need someone to come in here and fix it up. I'm bleeding so make sure they were the appropriate coverings."

"We'll have someone there shortly Dr. House," she said back.

Wilson put his hand's up in a surrendering motion, "Alright, I'll just watch when they get up here."

House didn't say anything or move until he saw Wilson put on gloves and throw away the clothes. As soon as he saw the cloths hit the bag he narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "You're an IDIOT!"

Wilson looked at him both surprised and confused, "Hey, I'm just doing what you said."

"Not that. How many times have I told you not to touch me? And then what do you do? You grab me around the waist!" House said glaring at him.

Wilson looked at him like he was crazy, "You were going to FALL! Do I have to remind you that you broke your FEMUR and the last thing your right leg needs is to be on the floor so dirt can get into your burn and infection. What should I have done House?"

House had pulled himself back into the bed and was keeping pressure on the wound. "You should have let me fall."

Wilson was about to yell when he noticed the slight shaking in House's hands, and took a deep breath first. "I'm not going to stand back and watch you fall, not when I know it could literally set you back weeks for your recovery. Maybe you shouldn't be jumping out of the bed to stand, and then I wouldn't have to touch you."

"I wouldn't have been standing in the first place if you could learn when to stop pushing issues that have nothing to do with you! But no you just have to keep pushing and pushing. You're just like everyone else, you don't listen to me. You just keep trying to force me to do what you want!" House was taking heavy labored breaths as his eyes were dark on Wilson's.

Wilson looked in House's dark eyes, "I hear you House, it's just... I'm worried about you. You hold everything in, and you never try to let anyone in to share the burden of the weight. I don't want you to crumble under all of it."

House looked away, "I did try, on the way to my fathers funeral and you..."

Wilson waited for House to finish, but realized he wasn't going to say anything else. "I know you did and I'm sorry for how I acted. At the time I thought you were trying to con me into turning around, but that doesn't mean you can't tell me now."

There was a cough and both men looked over to see Jackie with gloves and a plastic gown on. "Let's get this over with you're interrupting my supper."

House took his hand off of the wound and pulled back the gown to look at it. Four of the seven stitches over his ribs were popped. And blood was seeping out with each breath.

"Shit, I thought it was only one or two." Jackie said as she looked at it and grabbed the alcohol to clean the him up with then quickly did the four stitches.

House tensed up as she touched him but stayed still watching patiently for it to end.

She sighed and put some gauze over the stitches since it was still bleeding a little. She looked at him to see him watching her, "You alright?"

House blinked and nodded.

"Looks like its covered pretty good but we need to change your sheets and get you a new gown on," She said looking worried.

House pulled himself to the edge of the bed away from her and took off the gown then stood on his right leg which was weak from blood loss.

Jackie quickly got a chair to his side and holding his arm guided him down into it. "You don't need to be standing yet," she snapped. Then quickly grabbed him a new gown and threw it on his lap as she pulled off his bedding and put on clean sheets. When she turned around House had the gown on and she noticed the beads of sweat on his brow. "Do you feel hot?" Jackie asked taking in his flushed face.

House felt weak and dizzy as he tried to concentrate on what she said. He slowly shook his head.

She changed gloves so that she had on a clean pair and put the back of her hand on his head. "God you're burning up." Jackie said as she put her arm under his arm to pull him up. He stood up and she turned him quickly as his right leg buckled under the weight making him land half on the bed. She helped him get the rest of the way on the bed and pulled his gown away from his right thigh get the covering off with haste.

Wilson walked over to take a look and ran a hand over his mouth as he saw how swollen and red it was.

House had his eyes closed at this point, "It's worse isn't it."

Jackie could already see new puss in the hole. "Yeah, but your bodies still fighting it so that's a good sign." She took her time draining the infection which she was able to do with a syringe this time. When she was done she looked at him and cocked an eyebrow as she noticed he was sleeping. Then she looked over at Wilson, "Alright, spill it. What's up with him? I was a nurse for 15 years and I've been a PA for over 10 and I've never had someone fall asleep while draining an infection. It's rare to have someone who can be quite."

Wilson looked guilty as his mouth twitched and then he looked at House's sleeping frame and swallowed looking back up at her. "He was clinical diagnosed with Extreme Tolerance to Pain, which is rare, in the since there has been less than 60 documented cases ever. His four is the average persons ten on the pain scale."

Jackie frowned, "If he had a nerve condition then why didn't you inform us about it."

Wilson looked down, "It isn't a nerve condition, his nerves are fine. At some point he was..." Wilson couldn't help but look back at House who was still sleeping, "conditioned to be this way."

Jackie felt ill at ease, "What do you mean conditioned?"

Wilson glanced at her and back down, "Forced to withstand unimaginable pain for long periods of time until his tolerance scale more than doubled the normal. To get as high as his scale is it's most commonly done when the persons a child, but he claims it's from his time in the Marines."

Jackie felt the hair stand up on the back of her neck and arms, "Claims?" She said waiting for Wilson to explain but he stood there silently watching her. She let out a sad chuckle, "I never would have... the great Dr. House... I mean he's a genius right, so I thought that if anyone would have had an easy life, it would be him." Jackie looked at House and then to the ceiling. "He never makes so much as a peep about the pain, but... when I look in his eyes, I swear I've never seen someone in so much pain, you know what I mean?" She said looking in Wilson's eyes.

Wilson nodded as the tingle of worry consumed him, "Yeah, I know."


	37. Chapter 37: Cuddy vs Tritter

Wilson dragged into the Hospital with a yawn at ten past eight. Cuddy saw him going towards the elevator and quickened her pace which she found was with out cause since he was barely moving. "How's everything going this morning?" She asked taking in his appearance: wrinkled shirt, no tie, his belt didn't match his shoes, and although both of his shoes were black they were not from the same pair.

"Hmm?" Wilson said not really sure of what she said.

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow at him, "Well, I knew you missed House, Wilson, but I never thought you would try to impersonate him." She said with a smile and held open the elevator door for him.

Wilson walked in and gave her a weak smile, "I'm sorry, but I only slept two hours last night." Wilson gave a half chuckle, "I guess in a weird way I understand him a little better, except some how he is always alert even after taking medications that should knock him out."

Cuddy frowned, "Actually he at least has matching shoes. So did something happen with House or are you just worrying yourself to death over what has already happened."

Wilson sighed as he rested his head against the elevator, "His infection from the fall keeps getting worse and last night I... upset him, and he jumped out the bed and ended up almost falling. I caught him but he pulled four stitches and then freaked out because I got some blood on me."

Cuddy blinked in confusion, "Why would some blood make House freak out? I mean, he's a doctor who see's blood all the time."

Wilson blinked at her blankly as he realized he had let that slip, he licked his lips and tried to think up a reasonable recovery. "Well you saw all that blood at his place, maybe it just reminded him of that night."

Cuddy's frown deepened, "Yeah, maybe. It's weird that his infection isn't healing up, House has always recovered so quickly. You know out of all the procedures he's had he's never got an infection here." Wilson walked out of the elevator and Cuddy followed. "So does that mean he's still getting to go home with you tomorrow night?"

Wilson ran his hand through his hair, "I'm not sure." He walked into his office and flopped down in his chair. "To be honest I think he should wait until the infection is gone, but at the same time I can tell that just being stuck in that Hospital is driving him nuts."

Cuddy shrugged, "They have him on antibiotics right?" Wilson nodded. "Well then he should be fine. I think you're just worrying to much about this Wilson, people get infections all the time. He'll be fine."

Wilson gave her a doubtful nod, "You're probably right."

Cuddy got up, "You just have to learn not to worry so much Wilson. House isn't like your cancer patients he's got a good immune system and he'll bounce back."

Wilson put on a fake smile and nodded but as she walked out it slipped off and he had never felt like a worse human being. If House's infection didn't get better and it became serious he would have to tell Cuddy and she would hate him for keeping something about House's health from her.

Cuddy went back down to her office and was about to settle into reading last quarters reports when her phone rang and she answered it only half paying attention. "This is Dr. Lisa Cuddy Administrator for Princeton Plainsboro Hospital, how may I help you?"

"Hello Dr. Cuddy, my name is Carol, and I was calling because I heard that you had the best Diagnostics Department around." She said with a British accent.

Cuddy turned the page on the report smiling, "I'm pleased to tell you that we do but I'm not sure what it was you were wanting."

"Is it true that Dr. House runs that department. I've heard he's an arrogant asshole." Carol say happily.

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow, "Yes he is, but I promise what he lacks in bedside manner he makes up for in talent and unmatched cleverness and skill. He's honestly the best there is."

There was a deep laugh over the phone, "Well well well, Dr. Cuddy, I'm glad to hear you think so highly of me." House said over the phone.

Cuddy blushed and then gritted her teeth, "Don't you have something else to do beside prank calling people?"

House pouted, "Ouch... I thought we were friends, but if you're too busy to talk that's fine."

Cuddy felt the sting of guilt and closed her report, "No, we are. So what did you want to talk about?"

House grinned, "What are you wearing?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "House we aren't dating anymore."

"So, I would have asked you that anyway. Come on Cuddy if I'm not going to get my daily visitation from Patty and Selma and that giant ass of yours you can at least be kind enough to tell me what little clothing is covering them." House said with a smirk.

Cuddy was now pouting slightly, "You're the one who asked me to stop visiting."

House sighed deeply, "Can't we just have a fun conversation like we use to or is it always going to be serious."

Cuddy bit her lip as she thought about his words. She had truly missed the sound of his voice and even his playful and flirty manner. "Fine, I'm wearing a navy blue skirt suit."

House thought for a second, "The one with the blue buttons or the one with the hooks?"

Cuddy looked at the phone with a cocked eyebrow, "Hooks..." She said cautiously.

"Nice and what shirt?" He asked

Cuddy looked down at the low hanging red shirt and smiled, "A red one."

House gave an appreciative smile, "I bet it's the satin one that hangs way to low to qualify as business wear."

Cuddy looked around trying to make sure he wasn't watching her from somewhere, "Actually its cotton."

House tusked, "Oh Cuddy didn't anyone ever tell you it's wrong to lie to your friends. You would never wear cotton with that blue suit because it's wool, which would mean the fabrics would hang up. That's also how I know that you are wearing one of your garter belts because full pantyhose would be too hot."

Cuddy face contorted, "House you realize how creepy and just plain odd that sounds right?"

House rolled his eyes, "You wouldn't wear tight fitting suits like the one your wearing and low cut red blouses if you didn't want me and every other man to remember it."

"Remember the color, but the type of fabric is a little much, it sounds like you sneak into my room and go through my closet." Cuddy said.

House chuckle, "Oh if I sneaked into your room, I would have better places to be than your closet." House waited for Cuddy to respond and when she didn't he sighed, "I knew it was wool because you gave me a hug when you wore it for the picture they took to go along with that article about the Niemann Pick Disease case."

Cuddy thought about it, "You're right I was wearing this suit, but that was almost two years ago."

House half smiled, "Well it's not like you gave me a lot of hugs."

Cuddy frowned, "And now you wont even let me touch you." House suddenly became silent and Cuddy knew he wasn't going to respond to her statement. "By the way how are you calling me? I thought you were strapped down to the bed?"

House shrugged, "They took off the restraints yesterday and haven't put them back on, so I'm trying to make the most of my new found freedom."

Cuddy smiled, "I bet you are, just don't get in any trouble alright. Wilson's been so worried about you he hardly slept last night."

"What happened?" House said.

"He came dragging in today and said he only slept two hours. When I asked him what was going on he said that you had popped some stitches and freakout about some blood and that your infection was getting worse." Cuddy said waiting to see what House would say.

"Well if he hadn't have grabbed me then he wouldn't have gotten blood all over him, and it's not like I can do anything about the infection they have me on three antibiotics right now." House said curtly.

"I'm not blaming you House," Cuddy said, "I'm just saying you didn't have to freak out on him."

"So let me get this straight, NOW.. I'm being too emotional?" House said coldly.

Cuddy felt bad about saying it, "Maybe."

House swallowed, "Fine, let me cut to the chase I wouldn't want to get to personal with you then I might feel something and say something about what I feel and that would just be a waste of your precious time. Why aren't you using my team?" He said professionally.

"I'm sorry House, it's just that..." Cuddy's sentence was cut short as he interrupted.

"Sorry... hmm, isn't that one of those emotional things. No we better just stay away from that, once again why aren't you using my team?" House said quickly.

"Because they aren't as good as you are! Now stop over..." Cuddy stopped but she knew it was to late.

"Reacting," House finished. "My team is still good and it's not like I'm dead, if they need my help they can still call me or come to my apartment, hopefully I'll be there after tomorrow."

"House you aren't suppose to be working and since I know that if I give your team the kind of cases I usually do it will some how inevitably get to you I'm not. Also you aren't going to your apartment until you can walk you need to stay with Wilson," Cuddy said.

House frowned, "Some work could do me some good and I don't want to stay with Wilson, just trust me it isn't a good idea."

"Well House you can't stay with me because you won't even let me touch you and Wilson is already taking off the time so he can be there. You could be a little more grateful of all he's done for you. So tell why you don't want to stay with him." Cuddy said with frustration.

"I didn't ask him to do that, he didn't even ask me if I was okay with that. I'm telling you if I go and stay with him it's going to be bad. It's hard enough for me to control my PTSD when he visits for an hour or two, Cuddy... I'm afraid I might hurt him." House said hesitantly.

Cuddy was worried, "Why would you say that? Your PTSD makes you a little shaky but you've never seemed violent because of it."

House spoke softly, "I get shaky because I'm holding myself back. When ever things get to loud or stressful my body wants to fight but I hold it back. I've dealt with PTSD before, and I'm telling you it really is one of those things I do better on my own with."

Cuddy was silent for a moment while she thought. She could tell by his voice that he really was worried. "House you can't go home alone, you know that. Maybe you should talk to the Psychologist if nothing else she might can prescribe you something to help calm you down."

"You mean like the Ativan. I still don't remember everything from when I was on that crap." House said with worry.

"Not Ativan but something, I'm sure she can find something that will help House. I would let you stay with me if you wanted to, you know that right?" Cuddy said biting her lip.

House let out a soft sigh, "Yeah, I'm sorry I can't do that." He looked up and saw Cops outside his window, "Fuck,"

Cuddy cocked an eyebrow, "House, what's wrong."

"Cops are here and... oh shit, Cuddy could you come up here." House said with distress.

Cuddy immediately got up and started gathering her things, "Why what is it House?"

"Tritter's here," House said as he felt his pulse rise.

Cuddy felt worry sweep over her as she thought about what he had said when they broke up about Tritter. "I'm already in the car do you think it's coincidence or do you think you asked in on the case because of you."

House stared at the cops, "I'm not sure but I don't trust him and I don't want him here not when I can't defend myself."

Cuddy swallowed, "What did he do you in jail?"

House felt his body getting ready for a fight and he fought for control, "Not now Cuddy, I promise I'll tell you just not now."

Cuddy could hear the slight shake in his voice. "Alright, just don't say..."

"Well hello Dr. House, it's a small world isn't it. I was sorry to hear about your misfortune. How many guys was it?" Tritter said with a small curl of his lips.

"Ah Capt. Tritter I thought taking statements about a clear cut case was below your pay grade." House said defiantly.

"It is, but the department has a lot going on right now. It's kind of like how you have to work in the clinic sometimes. Dr. House you know it's rude to be on the phone when talking to the Police and it's actually illegal to be on your cell phone in the Hospital room." Tritter picked up the phone that was lying by his head, slightly brushing his hair. House's body jerked as his shaking increased. Tritter smiled obviously delighted to get such a reaction. "Well that nurse was right you really are jerky. I'm just going to turn this phone off and close the blinds so we can have some privacy."

Cuddy heard the phone hang up and was pleased as she now saw the Hospital in sight.

House watched as Tritter turned off the phone and the other man closed the blinds. He tried to control his breathing and body as he could see Tritter trying to close him off as much as possible. "It was four men." House said watching him.

"Oh," Tritter said as if he could care less, "tell me Dr. House why there are restraint straps on your bed."

House looked down at them and back up at Tritter, "I thought you were here to take my statement about what happened."

Tritter smiled, "You're right, I am. It's just that restraint straps indicate that you are violent, and you did kill three men, didn't you."

House narrowed his eyes on Tritter, "It's not like I had much of choice."

Tritter leaned closer to House, "Really? Because it say's here that you were in the Marines. Aren't you taught in the Marines how to take a man down with out killing him."

House gritted his teeth, "I haven't been in the Marines in over 20 years, and my survivor instinct kind of took over after everything they did to me."

Tritter smiled as he sat down in a chair the other man had pulled up for him. "Yes, that's something we are going to have to go over in great detail." He opened the report, "It looks like they had you for five hours."

House smiled, "Yeah something like that. Didn't you have me for 48 hours?" He asked then smiled again, "But it's best not to dwell on the past right, it's okay Tritter everyone loses some."

Tritter clinched his jaw and was about to open his mouth when Cuddy opened the door.

Cuddy looked up at House and then at the two officer, "Hello Captain Tritter, I thought that was you who hung up on me." She said as she made her way to the opposite side of House.

Tritter smiled, "How have things been Dr. Cuddy? You purger yourself anytime lately?"

Cuddy smiled innocently, "I don't know what you are referring too. Do you still use your badge to try and settle your personal vendettas against people?"

Tritter smiled and looked back at House, "Let me guess, you two are dating?"

House smiled broadly, "Nope, but don't worry it's not like you're a detective... oh, wait you are."

Tritter put his hand on bed and looked at House still smiling, "You know what I hate Dr. House. I hate having to take statements twice. See it happens a lot, people are on medication that makes their memories blurry or unclear." Tritter opened the folder, "Lets see, ah there it is. You are on morphine, now that is powerful stuff, I would hate to have to redo this wouldn't you Dr. House."

House smiled back, "Oh it wouldn't bother me, I just love catching up with you. But I would hate to waste your time, so I don't mind if you would rather them unhook it."

Cuddy's jaw dropped, "House, are you crazy? You need to be on the morphine after the injuries you sustained."

House was still looking at Tritter, "Don't worry I can handle it."

Cuddy had an urge to hit both of them right now for being stupid jerks. "Fine, I'll disconnect it you idiot." She unhooked it and rolled the morphine machine across the room.

Tritter settled into the chair some more and looked over the report. "So tell me, what's the first thing you remember?"

House stared at the ceiling, "I remember waking up and feeling some pain in my stomach, the smell of something sweet and being tied down. My eye lids felt heavy and then I felt people hitting me, but I stayed still and quite not wanting them to know I was awake. After that I listened to them talk about rumors of my time in the Marines while I watched them. Young noticed, threw a heavy duffel bag on my stomach and put a dogs choke collar on me. Harrison duct taped my armpits and ripped it off taking most of the hair with it, then he punched me in my scar on my right thigh for referring to his mother as a hairy bitch."

Tritter shook his head, "You know Dr. House it seems to me that you could save yourself a lot of grief if you could just learn when to keep that mouth of yours shut.

House smiled, "It's so touching to know you care," he said with sarcasm. "Then Young put nipple clamps on me and he told Miller to start the water works."

"And by water works you mean?" Tritter said with a smile.

House looked at Tritter and could tell by the grin that he knew what it was he just wanted to make him say what was done to him. House spoke very slowly as if talking to a dim child, "Well first he got a towel and wrapped it around my face and then he pour water over my face. First time was short, the next time was longer and Harrison hit me hard with my cane which made me gasp taking in water."

Tritter grinned, "So they basically drowned you. What went through your mind with each mouthful of water you took in?"

House eyed Tritter, "I knew they wouldn't kill me yet, because for sadistic bastards like Young having someone in a place of vulnerability and abusing them is fun. I've never understood it really because I've always wanted a fair fight, but I bet you understand it on a level that no one else could." House watched as the smile on Tritters face fell. "Anyway, back to why you are here. After I coughed up the water Young pour water all over my body and grabbed a cattle prod which he used on my stomach, nipple, water soaked underwear, and my right thigh scar. Then Harrison took that as his cue to start beating me again with my cane, breaking a rib. Young then got out a torch too heat up the branding irons." Now House sighed and closed his eyes as he laid back in the bed. "After he was done with that Harrison took the torch to my scarred thigh." He swallowed opening his eyes again. "That's when Young offered me the deal of killing me quickly if I asked him to, but I convinced him instead to untie me and let me die fighting."

Tritter eyed House, "So killing them was premeditated."

House just looked at the ceiling again, "No fighting for my life was all that was on my mind at that point." He said as he was trying to push the incredible pain of his body out of his mind.

Tritter smiled as he could see some of the tell tell signs of pain on House's features, "You sure you can handle not being on morphine?"

House swallowed, "Yep, I'm feeling just peachy except for the awful hospital food from breakfast." He said as some sweat beads ran down his face.

Cuddy got him a plastic bucket that he held tight to with trembling hands. "House maybe you should finish this some other time." She said softly as she could see the pain in his eyes as he looked up at her and shook his head.

"No, I can... handle," but he stopped talking as his stomach emptied it's self. As soon as he was done he continued, "Everything went pretty fast after that, Harrison charged at me and I grabbed his neck and snapped it, then I hit Miller on the head with a lamp. I wasn't sure if he was out or just stunned so I grabbed the lamp to make sure and Anderson pulled me on my back by the choke collar and started into me with the cane breaking my hand and the cane. I grabbed at his ankles because I know it's standard for military to carry knifes there when I found his I just stabbed up, it landed...," House heaved again and when he was done he was panting, "landed under his jaw and had gone straight up. I pushed him off of me and took off the collar wrapping it around my hand, then Young charged and I kicked him and rolled on my back to push in him the wall. While he was recovering I tried to get a piece of the cane but Young recovered quicker than I expected and he kicked the crap out of my left leg breaking the femur. Next thing I knew he was on top of me with his hands clapped as he bounced my head off of the floor," House ran a hand over his forehead and closed his eyes, "Then everything went silent and I knew if I didn't stop him I was going to die, so I held the choke collar as tight as my hand would allow and punched him in the throat. Blood... just poured out of him and while he tried uselessly to stop it I knew there was no saving him I grabbed the handle of the cane and stuffed it through his mouth until his spinal cord was severed." House looked at Tritter, "Seeing people suffer has never been my thing."

Tritter smiled, "Wow, that's truly a amazing story. Too bad that's all it is."

House's eyes searched Tritter's, "That's what happened."

Tritter chuckled smugly, "You want me to believe a cripple who can't walk with out a cane, after being burned, electrocuted, beaten, branded, and drowned, killed three decorated soldiers half your age and knocked out one." He smiled shaking his head, "Nope, not buying it. You know what I think."

House rolled his eyes, "Nope, but I'm sure it won't make you look like anymore of an idiot than you are."

Tritter watched House, "I think Wilson interrupted the soldiers and that you and him took them down together. That sounds a lot more logical than you taking them out on your own."

"You know what, maybe you should just go!" Cuddy said furiously. "He has told you what happened so why are you still here."

House smiled at Tritter, "Don't mind her, she just has this thing about ignorance. You're right, your story is a lot more logical except Wilson, who's never so much as thrown a punch managed to fight and kill soldiers and not get so much as a scratch. But I can see why a lesser man couldn't understand how I did what I did."

Tritter stared House down with a smug smile, "No one in your shape could have done what you are saying you did."

House smiled with gritted teeth and quickly pushed himself off the bed standing in front of Tritter who jumped slightly. "I was in the Military Competition Games and I'll make sure they send you a copy of what exactly I'm capable of."

Tritter looked House up and down with a frown, "I thought you couldn't stand with out a cane." He said noticing that House was standing with out supporting himself at all.

House could see he had shook Tritter, "I'm capable of a lot more than you know. See a stronger man can let a weaker man walk on him, because a strong man knows he wont break."

Tritter mouth turned into a grimace and he stood up quickly so that they were chest to chest.

"Captain," The other officer said as he grabbed Tritter's arm.

House smiled and Tritter shook the man's hand off his arm. "By the way House I heard about Young, hope you get what you deserve you drugged up son of a bitch. I read the file... I knew you couldn't keep clean. I see you moved on to Oxycodone."

House laughed, "And I see that you haven't moved on at all."

Tritter grabbed his coat and left, leaving the other officer standing there awkwardly, "Thank you for your time sir." He said quickly running off after Tritter.

House sat back down on the bed as he hissed through teeth at the pain. Cuddy quickly grabbed the morphine machine and hooked it back up to his IV giving it several pushes. She watched as House sat facing away from her and could see his hand shaking. "That was stupid, you could have displaced the femur that is trying to heal." Cuddy said with a slight shriek.

House let his head drop slightly, "I know, thank you for coming, you didn't have to. I would have understood if you hadn't."

Cuddy bit her lip, "House, we're still friends." She waited for him to respond but he didn't. Slowly she walked around to see his body shaking and him gritting his teeth in pain.

House looked up as her feet came in view and saw her scared wide eyes on him and he looked back down quickly, "I'll be alright, it... my feet..." House shook his head, "and this damn infection."

Cuddy looked down at his right thigh as he pulled off the bandage, "Oh God House, Wilson had said it was bad, but that is just horrible."

He covered it back as soon as he realized she had been watching. He pulled him self back on the bed and pulled the covers over his body.

Cuddy sighed as she could tell that this was his way of closing her off. "How did you tell Tritter what happened with out... any emotion. I mean don't you feel something about.."

"Being tortured? Almost dying..." House finished glaring at her, "Tell me Cuddy how I should act? I mean I've just been through this crap over a dozen times, but obviously you know more about how I should act! You think you know how I feel... but you have no idea."

Cuddy felt bad for sounding cold, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, and you're right I don't know how you feel Greg because you haven't told me?"

House's eyes softened at his first name, "I've never really been the kiss and tell type." Cuddy frowned as she walked closer and let her fingertips hesitantly rake his hair and when she heard a soft sigh from his lips she continued. House looked up at her with cautious eyes, "Why are you so nice to me?"

Cuddy could feel the water gather in her eyes and took a deep breath as she pushed them back. "I'll answer that when you tell me why you are so surprised when someone treats you like a decent human being."

House looked away slightly, "It's obvious, I'm not a decent human being." He said with his eyes meeting hers.

Cuddy frowned, "Don't say that. You are a wonderful person, you're one of my favorite people in the whole world."

House smiled, "You only say that because you haven't met everyone in the world."

Cuddy bit her lip as she smiled and then she looked at him with searching eyes, "What did he do to you?"

House's smile faded as his eyes watched hers, "He handcuffed me to the jail bars then he would come in and beat me ever couple of hours. After the tenth beating he pulled my shirt up so he could see if he was leaving marks since I wouldn't make any noise... after a few more he... took my pants, so he could see where to aim his kick at my right leg. When he came to get me since Wilson made my bail, before he took the handcuffs off he ran a hand over my butt and said that next time my ass was his... literally. But I think he was just trying to scare me."

Cuddy ran her hand through his hair again. "I'm so sorry, if I had known... I never would have acted the way I did."

House smirked, "I don't know your whole rant about owning my ass... was kinda hot, I liked it."

Cuddy laughed and ran her hand to the side of his face, "I bet you did." Then she seemed to be lost in thought, "I was just wondering... how you seemed so calm and relaxed in jail. I mean after what happened in the military when you were captured and then what Tritter did and said."

House shrugged, "It's not hard to look calm."

Cuddy let her hand slide down to his neck as her thumb rubbed his jaw bone. "You think you will ever let me see just you with out the masks." She asked honestly

House swallowed, "You already have Lisa." He said looking down

Cuddy pulled her hand away slowly, "I think there have been times you have let me see more than most, but I'm not even sure you know how to let someone see you with out any walls."

House looked up at her and blinked then suddenly his face was emotionless, "How's work?"

Cuddy looked disappointed by the change in the conversation, "The same I guess, except now no one is there to burst in my office with out knocking."

House let one of the corners of his mouth curl up and motioned with his index finger for her to come closer. She leaned down with a cocked eyebrow, for a second she wasn't sure what he was doing until she followed his eyes line and saw he was looking down her shirt. She quickly stood up giving him a playful slap. House looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow. Cuddy suddenly felt her stomach fall, what if she had hurt him. His facial bones had suffered a lot of injuries from the attack. "I.. didn't mean... I shouldn't have."

House started laughing hard, and it made Cuddy jump which only made him laugh harder. She watched in amazement as his body trembled from the laughter he couldn't contain instead of pain. Soon she found that it was infectious as she was laughing with him. When House finally started to calm down, he sighed, "I can't wait to get out of here."

"Are you going to call the psychologist?" Cuddy asked.

"I really think it would be best if I were just on my own." House said watching her.

Cuddy sighed, "Yeah, well that's not going to happen. So are you going to see if she can give you something to help or not."

House shrugged, "I guess."

Cuddy gave him a confident smile, "It'll be fine House." She said although she could see he wasn't as believing. Cuddy looked around as her hands straightened her cloths, "I should probably go."

House gave a smile, "Those reports aren't going to read themselves."

Cuddy nodded and was almost to the door when she stopped and turned around to look at him. "House, how are you doing physically? Are you healing properly other than the infection?"

House's eyes were wide and then he looked at his leg, "Why are you asking that?"

Cuddy wasn't sure if something was wrong or if he was just being House. "Because I'm worried about you."

House looked at her with guarded eyes, "Why now all the sudden? You did ask how I was after the leg, or shooting, not even after the DBS."

Cuddy took a good breath, "Then you were in my Hospital and... I never was naive enough to think you would answer."

House kept his eyes on hers, "And what makes you think I will now."

Cuddy bit her lip and then shook her head, "I don't know," she said with frustration and turned back to leave.

House swallowed, "I'll be fine."

Cuddy had her hand on the door as she heard the words he had said so much. "When?" She stood there for a little while but after she could tell he wasn't going to answer she left.


	38. Chapter 38: What's wrong with Kutner?

House sat there in thought for a couple of minutes after she left and then turned on the TV to Medical Mysteries. It wasn't long before he heard the door open, he refused to look away from the TV. "So you still working on your theory behind the miracle of me walking?" House said watching the program.

Kutner sat down while staring at House. "How did you know it was me?"

House waited till a commercial to respond. "I'm psychic."

Kutner looked at the TV, "After reading your results from the pain test there really wasn't a reason to call it a theory anymore."

House watched the program as well, "I hope you're better at bluffing with card games."

Kutner leaned back in the chair propping his feet on the bed. "Of course they don't type up all the details in the computer for consults but I did find ETP in there a couple of times." Kutner saw small differences in House, tightening of the muscles and a slight flare of his nostrils. "I hadn't ever heard of it so I did some research and found the diagnoses pretty straight forward, but the causes weren't so pretty."

House looked over at Kutner, "They also aren't any of your business. Is that what you and the team have been working on since Cuddy hasn't been giving you any real cases?" He asked with slight irritation in his voice.

Kutner watched House, "I didn't tell them." He said with sympathetic eyes.

House sighed, "I guess this is the part were I'm suppose to tell you how thankful I am and spill my guts about what was done to me, too bad this isn't a movie." He said looking back at the TV

Kutner looked down, "My parent's died when I was really young." He could feel House watching him. "I went through several foster houses, until I found my family. I might be able to understand better than others." He finished looking up to meet House's eyes.

Part of House wanted to just let it out but he didn't trust Kutner enough, "There's nothing to understand."

Kutner looked worried, "For a man who teaches not to believe in coincidence and to find the connection there sure seem to a lot of them with you. Hating your father, distrusting of everyone..."

"I love how people who have issues always seem to think everyone else has the same issues. Tell you what why don't you save your time and do both of us a favor and see a psychologist?" House said coldly.

Kutner looked at him with a mixture of dejection and irritation while House turned up the volume on the TV. After the third episode House finally turned it off and silence filled the room.

Jackie walked in to find Kutner staring at the blank TV while House looked at the ceiling. "Wow Dr. House, I didn't know you actually knew how to keep quite. I'll have to have him come in more often."

House gave her a fake smile, "Oh Jackie, you ray of sunshine, how I will miss you after I leave tomorrow."

She cocked an eyebrow at him, "I thought that you might reconsider leaving because of the infection."

"Nope," House said watching her.

"Well then I guess I'll have to remove your catheter and colostomy bag." Jackie said with a smile and she gloved up. "We can't release you until we make sure you have control of you bladder and bowels."

House smiled back, "Then you might as well get to it."

Jackie rolled her eyes and moved the cover on the opposite side of the bed and pulled out the catheter quickly. House rolled slowly to his left side facing Kutner and waited anxiously for her to pull out the colostomy tube. It didn't take long as he felt like she was pulling his guts out of his body. He took some deep breaths while his hands were fisted. She covered him back up and looked to see that his BP was high. "You alright?" she asked with concern.

"Wonderful," House said as he tried to relax.

"There might be some blood in your stool for the next couple of days." She said as took the measurements off of the equipment and then disposed of them along with her gloves. Jackie washed her hands and walked over to him and handed him a small paper cup with some pills in it, which he took in one swallow. "You shouldn't leave yet." House just looked at her with stone eyes. "But since you're too stubborn to listen, I hope you do well. Take care of yourself Dr. House." She said with a smile.

House gave a small smile back, "I will and now you will have to find a new patient to torture."

Jackie gave him a smile and left.

House rolled on his back and looked up at the ceiling.

Kutner looked House over, "I'm sorry if I offended you, it wasn't my intention. I don't know what was done to you or by whom but it's fairly apparent that you have enough on your mind right now. I just thought it would be nice to be friends."

House swallowed and looked Kutner in the eyes, "I don't have friends."

Kutner raised his eyebrows, "Really, then what's Wilson."

"Wilson is friend... not friends and I have a hard enough time handling him. And believe me you can do a lot better than me as a friend." House said as he laid his head back down looking at the ceiling.

Kutner leaned back in his chair, "Well I think you have more friends than you know, and that you try to appear worse than you are."

"I don't have more friends, I consider friends to be people who actually have something to do with you outside of work or when you're not laying in a Hospital bed. That's just leaves Wilson. Also I've never had to try and seem worse than I am. Wilson's practically a saint and he walked away from our friendship if that doesn't tell you something then you just aren't wanting to hear it." House said giving the morphine button a push.

Kutner shrugged, "Fine you win. You're a bastard and everyone hates you... there now are you happy?"

"I though you were suppose to get me lunch?" House said.

Kutner rolled his eyes, "What do you want?"

"You like the taste of your mother land?" House asked with a questioning eyebrow raised.

"Sure," Kutner said with irritation.

House smiled, "Great, I'll have two orders of garlic naan, baigan bhurta, spicy chicken tikka masala, lamb saagwala, and gulab jamun. Oh, I almost forgot I'll need some raita."

Kutner looked at the list and then back at House, "You are going to eat all of that?" he asked sceptically.

"Eventually... or we could share. But if we do, you need to get you're own naan and a extra order of rice." House said

Kutner pulled out his phone, "So is anywhere good or is there somewhere in particular you wanted me to go?"

"The Pickled Mango" House said as he watch Kutner put it in his phone.

Kutner looked at the directions, "That's a twenty minute drive and there isn't a phone number listed."

"Really? Well I guess you should get going then." House said watching him.

Kutner let out a sigh as he grabbed his stuff and left.

House gave it a couple of minutes and opened the drawer on the end table grabbing out Dr. Ryan's card. He licked his lips as he studied it and then used his cell phone to call the number. "Hello, this is Dr. Ryan, how may I help you?"

House took a couple of deep breaths, "This is Dr. House, I was hoping we could talk."

Dr. Ryan was surprised but answered quickly, "Yes Dr. House I would love to, when would you like to talk."

"Now," House said quickly.

"Alright," She said as she got up and gathered somethings.

Dr. Ryan got to his room in five minutes, "You wanted to see me?"

House looked at the door, "Close it all the way." He said as his eyes met hers. She nodded and pulled it too. "I'm being released tomorrow and I was wondering if you could recommend that they let me go home, by my self."

Dr. Ryan rose an eyebrow, "I thought you were suppose to be going to Wilson's to stay with him until you get better."

House let out a sigh, "I am but I don't want to."

Dr. Ryan frowned slightly, "Why not?"

House swallowed, "I've had PTSD before, I handle recovery for it better on my own."

She sighed, "I'm sorry but I can't recommend for you to be allowed to leave on your own just because you would rather."

House's eyes were unwavering, "This is more that what I want, it's what's safest for Wilson. It takes all I have not to loose it when he visits. He's my only friend and I don't want to hurt him, do you want me to hurt him?"

Dr. Ryan sat down in the chair, "No I don't, but I also don't think it's safe or in your best interest to be by yourself at the moment. What about Dr. Cuddy? Could you stay with her or one of the Doctors that have been coming by lately?"

House shook his head, "No, I don't trust myself around Cuddy."

"You think you would hurt her." She asked and was answered by a silent stare. "You care for her?"

House's eyes were guarded, "We were dating before this happened and I broke it off, which you already knew. So why did you ask me?" She only blinked at him. "You want to know why I don't believe in the power of therapy? Because in order for it to work you have to be able to trust someone, which is stupid because people are brought up to lie."

Dr. Ryan bit her lip, "You're right, I knew about you and Dr. Cuddy. I was just hoping that you actually saying it out loud might help you to think about that choice and what it's cost you."

House's eyes turned dark and cold, "Believe me I know what it cost me and I'm not selfish enough to reconsider my decision."

"What about her decision? You took away her right to make a choice by not telling her?" She said irritatedly.

"She doesn't get to decide if she's okay with me maybe killing her! Because I'm not!" House said loudly.

Dr. Ryan didn't see anger she saw passion, "Okay, I'll buy that Greg. So then why don't you just tell her what happened? You don't have to date her to tell her."

House could hear his heart beating in his chest from fear. She was good. "Half of the time she looks at me now there's pity in her eyes.. (he paused and swallowed) and I don't want to see that every time she looks at me from now on."

She knew his words were honest, they were too sad to be anything else. "Have you told anyone?"

"Wilson knows," House said.

"Good," she said and leaned forward in the chair, "You know if you would just try talking about what happened it could help."

He stared back with cold eyes, "Great I told the police everything today, I should be cured."

Dr. Ryan swallowed, "Dr. House you know it takes longer that that. All I can do if you are unwilling to do therapy is write you a prescription, but it's only going to mask the problem not solve it."

House didn't even blink, "Fine, just not Ativan."

She scribbled something on a prescription pad. "It can take a while for this kind of medication to really take effect, so don't stop taking it if it doesn't seem to be working, give it time. I'll make sure they start you on it today and call me if you have any questions."

House nodded.

Dr. Ryan stood up and grabbed the card she had given him then wrote something on the back and put it back down. House picked it up and read _Thursday's 2:00pm _on it. "I know you are skeptical about the idea of actually talking about your problems, but I'm going to keep Thursday's at two open for you just in case you change your mind. I really hope you do for your sake and the sake of your friends." She said before leaving.

House chewed the inside of his lip while looking at the card and finally put it back in the drawer. Then he pressed is call button.

"Hello House, what can I do you for you?" Jackie said over the speaker.

"I need some new bandages for the infection." House said.

"I'll be right there." She said grabbing a couple of packages of gauze and some things to drain it just in case. "Alright let me see." Jackie said as she walked in the door.

"My... how forward." House said wagging his eyebrows

Jackie rolled her eyes, "Oh yes House you are so hot I just can't take it anymore please take me now." She said flatly.

House laughed, "Actually I'm not hot at all."

Jackie looked at him a little confused and he tilted his head toward on the of machines and she notice his temp. was normal. She walked over to his side and pulled back the sheet covering his leg and pulled up his gown. The bandage was soaked with draining fluids. She quickly put on some gloves and pulled it off. "It's finally healing." She said with a smile as she threw away the old bandages then cleaned the area and put on the fresh ones.

"See, I'll be fine," He said with a smug smile.

"Do you always gloat?" Jackie asked.

"Only when I'm right... which tends to happen a lot, so yes." He said with the smug smile still in place. Jackie shook her head and started to leave. "Hey, think you could do me just one more little favor before I leave?" House asked innocently.

"Depends on what the favor is?" She said with her arms crossed.

"Two large chocolate milkshakes?" House said watching her.

"Why?" Jackie asked surprised by the request.

House shrugged, "I sent that kid on an hour long lunch run."

Jackie smiled, "Oh, tell you what, if you actually admit to me that you have a heart, I'll do it."

House looked at her with studying eyes, "Fine, I have a heart which pumps blood through out my body. It's the most powerful muscle in the body, and.."

Jackie put a hand on his arm which stopped his speech as he looked at her, "I know it scares you House, but it's okay to feel things."

House glanced down at her bare hand and gave her a warning look, "let go of me," he said without any humor.

"Why so you can bury yourself even deeper in this idea that you can go the rest of your life with out having another human-being touch you? House you are the toughest person I've met, but you can't live without ever being touched again, no one can." Jackie said sadly.

House jerked away from her touch, "I'm not everyone."

Jackie looked at him with worried eyes, "No you aren't. I've never met anyone quite like you and I can only pray that you don't become as sad and lonely as I'm afraid you will become. Also you owe that woman an explanation of why you broke it off." Jackie said then turned to leave, "I'll get the shakes, just think about what I said."

House fixed his pillow and relaxed closing his eyes. He imagined his life without touch and how Cuddy would react if he actually told her why he had broken up with her. He didn't hear the footsteps but he smelled the overly sweet smell of Kutner's cologne. "Finally you've returned."

Kutner looked at House laying out with his eyes still closed and dropped the heavy paper bag on his stomach. "Sorry it took so long, but there was construction on the road." He said in a with aggravation.

House put the bag on his tray and looked at Kutner, "Has anyone ever told you, that you have a great bedside manner."

Kutner started laughing, "You mean like you do?"

"What's your problem?" House asked surprised.

Kutner glared at House, "I don't know what's yours? No, you know what? I'll tell you what my problem is. I came to work for you to get interesting and challenging cases, but then you go and piss some people off and now I'm working at the clinic and running errands for you." He was now yelling as he looked down at House. "You know if it wasn't for me they would still be stuffing you with Ativan! No one else even cared enough to look for you!"

House's breathing was labored as his body shook and he fisted his hands.

Kutner watched and leaned over putting his hand on House's left arm pinning it to the bed. "What's wrong House, suffering from a little PTSD. Well I guess I should hold you down and yell at you. That's what you do to your patients right? Push them as far as you can." Kutner said now pinning down House's other arm.

Jackie came in and quickly put the shakes on the extra tray she had brought then grabbed Kutner by the shirt. "LET GO OF HIM!"

Kutner loosened his grip slightly and House started to pull away. Kutner tried to regain his hold but House was loose now and pushed him with all he had. Kutner tumbled over the chair.

House looked at him with a shocked pale face. "Don't touch me." He said as he watched him.

Jackie stood between Kutner and House. When he finally got to his feet she narrowed her eyes on him. "You could have killed him with that stunt, he's BP was well over 200."

Kutner's face went blank and looked over to see House watching them carefully as his hand twitched. "Jesus House, I don't know what came over me. Are you okay?" He asked with concern.

House watched his every move, "I'm fine," he said as he pushed the buttons to make the bed him up more. House looked at his arms quickly to make sure he wasn't bleeding and then his eyes went back on Kutner.

"House it's up to you, do you want me to make him leave or not." Jackie said watching Kutner.

House looked at Kutner, "I'll be fine Jackie."

She looked back at him and nodded then pushed the tray in between them and put one of the shakes on House's tray. "There are plates in the drawer on the front if you need them and silverware." Jackie said and then went to the window's and pulled up the blinds on them so she could see in from the nurses station then left.

House's eyes were still glued on Kutner, "You touch me again and there are no promises that it'll only be a shove next time."

Kutner swallowed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean what I said, I just..."

"Did I ask for an apology?" House said with irritation. "No. Now let's eat before the food get's cold."

They both ate in silence Kutner felt awkward as he could feel House's eye's on him the whole time. Kutner looked up again now about half way through his plate to be greeted by House's eyes. He swallowed, "I lied, they all looked for you." House stuffed a large bite of naan topped with a mixture of the rice and all the other dishes in his mouth just watching Kutner. "I saw Wilson driving last Saturday and followed him here." He licked his lip as House just continued to watch him. "And it wasn't just me that stood up about the Ativan, it was the whole team." Kutner was getting more and more nervous as House's eyes board into him. "What you want me to say if you don't want an apology."

"Nothing," House said and took another bite still watching him.

"You're still staring at me." Kutner said.

"Fine, why did you do that?" House asked with unwavering eyes.

Kutner swallowed, "I got mad, no matter what I do you don't seem to respect me. So I thought that if I were more of a asshole you might see me differently."

House looked at him as if he were an idiot, "Tell me exactly what I've done to make you feel like I don't respect you."

"Are you kidding, you ride me on every mistake I make," Kutner said.

"Which I wouldn't do if I didn't think that you were smart enough to learn from them. I ride you on your mistakes because we have peoples lives in our hand, I'm just holding you responsible." House said as he could see Kutner processing.

Kutner had never thought of it quite that way, "Then why don't you ever act like you respect me."

House narrowed his eyes, "Did I not hire you? I don't have people that I don't respect at least on a professional level on my team. If you are looking for someone to pat you on the head and give you a gold star every time you do something right you need to work for Cameron in the ER. I don't coddle, and if I did it wouldn't be out of respect it would be out of pity. To be straight with you, if saving someones life isn't enough for you then you are in the wrong field."

Kutner took a bite of his food and thought, "Why didn't you ever tell me that before?"

House raised an eyebrow, "You never asked."

Kutner nodded in agreement then looked at House with curiosity, "Why didn't you push me off when I had just grabbed you left arm?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't really hurt me at least on purpose," House said taking a big bite.

Kutner raised an eyebrow, "What makes you so sure?"

House gave him a knowing look, "Because I wouldn't have."

Kutner blinked somewhat surprised by what the all that statement implied and when he saw House go back to eating he realized it would be best to say nothing. When they were done with their meal House grabbed a medical journal and Kutner followed suit. The hours seemed to pass quickly as they read and when Wilson came in Kutner checked his watch. "Wow, I didn't realize it was 6:35 pm. I'll see you later House. Bye Wilson."

Wilson waited with his hands in his pockets and watched Kutner leave. Then he walked over to House, "So, what happened?" He asked with a serious expression.

House sighed, "For crying out loud, they called you? I'm a big boy Wilson, I'm fine."

"Which is the only reason I didn't leave as soon as I got the call. Jackie said when she came in here he had you pinned down to the bed and was screaming in your face." Wilson said obviously fuming.

"I know I'm not the best with this whole emotion thing, but I'm I actually detecting that you are mad at me for what happened?" House asked with confusion.

Wilson gritted his teeth, "Why the hell did you let him stay?"

House couldn't see why Wilson was so mad, "He wasn't going to hurt me."

"And how do you know that House?" Wilson asked still angry.

"Drop it," House demanded.

"No, I'm not going to drop it. Your BP was over 200, you could have had a heart attack." Wilson said with concern.

"I know what could have happened, but it didn't so just leave it." House said getting tired of the conversation.

"How can you just let something like that go? House... answer me." Wilson said with frustration.

"The same way I let it go when you squeezed my broken hand, or when Cuddy screamed at me when we broke up or any of the other times since this bullshit happened. None of you meant to hurt me, it's me that's fucked up right now, any other time those incidents would be normal." House said truthfully.

"House it isn't your fault, you can't blame this on yourself." Wilson said worried.

House watched him with frustrated eyes,"Actually I can, Jimmy, that might be the one thing I can do."

"Fine, you can... but that doesn't mean you should. I know it's been a long day, but once you get to come home with me things will be better." Wilson said putting a hand on the bed by House.

House let out an exasperated sigh and turned on the TV.

Wilson looked at the TV and sat down, when the commercial came on Wilson looked at House, "Are you mad at me? Did I do something?"

House picked up his phone and started playing angry birds.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "House you can't play that all night, and I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

"You wanna make it a bet, I gotta twenty on me." House said as the birds chirped on the screen.

Wilson looked to be in serious thought, "Fine, oh and just so you know I couldn't find your charger when I went to your place."

"Nice... dammit..." House said as he seemed to be completely absorbed in the game.

"House did you hear me, you don't have you're phone charger here," Wilson said watching House.

House pressed the call button and then continued his game.

"Hello House, what can I..." Jackie started.

"Hey Jackie is there anyway I can borrow your phone charger." House said quickly with a sweet tone.

"Sure, I get off..." Jackie started but was interrupted by House.

"Whoa there... that's something only Mr. Jackie needs to know," House said still playing the game.

"In half an hour so I'll just leave it with you tonight." Jackie continued where she left off after House's comment.

"Thanks," House said glancing at Wilson with a smirk before continuing his game.

Wilson shook his head, "Are you ever going to grow up House, this is important."

House didn't even act like he heard Wilson.

Wilson ran a hand through his hair, "I know Tritter was here and I can't imagine how hard it was just being in the same room with him for you."

"I didn't ask you to," House said coldly never letting his eyes leave the screen.

Wilson frowned, "I know. Are you alright?"

House's forehead wrinkled in annoyance.

"Great so now you're annoyed by me?" Wilson said watching him.

House gave him a knowing look.

"Why because I care about you? Is it wrong of me to worry about you being in the same room with a man that..." Wilson stopped as he saw House's eyes glued on his with a warning glaze, he blinked and looked down. "It was only a week ago that you had a psychotic break and it scared the crap out of me because I was afraid you wouldn't come back... that there wasn't enough to come back for and all because someone mentioned restraints. So when I hear that Tritter was here with you or that Kutner had you pinned to the bed, all I can do is wonder if that will be the trigger that will push you over the edge."

House put the phone down and looked Wilson straight in they eyes. "The reason I had a psychotic break was because I trusted you to be my medical proxy and you let them put me on Ativan with out even checking the dosages they were giving me."

"No, House you had the psychotic break before they put you on Ativan," Wilson said standing.

"Really? That's interesting I seem to recall that I was being given Ativan at night so they could bath me." House said with glaring eyes, "So any more lies you want to throw at me, my bff."

Wilson wondered how House had found out about that but knew it was better not to ask. "Yeah they were but that wasn't why you had the break House, you had the break because you keep refusing any ones help. This isn't like your cases House where you give someone medicine or do a surgery and everything is back to normal... you need to talk to someone! About everything from your childhood, the Marines, your leg, Stacy, the shooting, Amber, the DBS, Me, THIS.. ALL of it. With out lies... or manipulating someone. I can't save you from yourself House... no one can." Wilson said with disappointment.

House's body became rigid with tension as his eyes set on Wilson, "Get out now," House snarled.

Wilson sat down with out a word but his body language spoke volumes, he wasn't going anywhere.

House grabbed his water jug off the night stand and threw it at Wilson hitting him in the shoulder, "I said get out!"

Wilson picked up the jug and sat it on the ground by his chair. Water cover half of his blue dress shirt making it appear darker, "Why do you want me to leave? Talk to me House, let me in and give me a chance to help."

"I don't want or need you are anyone's fucking help. Better yet, if you want to help me, then for the love of your God, leave me the hell alone. I don't want to talk anything out with anyone, especially you. Now, get out before I have you taken out." House said with a fury in his eyes.

Jackie walked in and looked at the two men, "I'm just going to leave this here," She said putting the charger and a bottle of medicine on the covers and quickly leaving.

Wilson felt slightly more at ease since House hadn't asked Jackie to make him leave. He looked over and picked up the pill bottle reading the prescription.

"It's so I wont hurt you since you seem hell bent on not leaving me alone." House said slowly with his eyes transfixed on the pill bottle.

Wilson swallowed as he put the pill bottle and charger on House's tray so he could reach them. "Why do you think you will hurt me with out them?" He asked watching House pick up the bottle and take one of the pills.

"Because, in my past experience, I know I get more agitated and delusional before I get better. This is to help keep my PTSD under control." House said calmly, while watching Wilson.

The idea that House was afraid he would hurt him was enough to give him a little bit of a wake up call, this wasn't going to be easy. Wilson finally met House's eyes, "Did you actually talk to Dr. Ryan?"

"I said some things... she said some things... so in all practical senses we talked," House said still watching Wilson.

Wilson gave him a half smile, "I'll take that as a no." House shrugged. Wilson sighed, "House don't worry about it alright. Everything is going to be fine."

"You don't know that," House said with worry, "you don't know how I get. Just promise me you won't let me hurt you Wilson."

Wilson could see the worry in House's eyes and shook him, "I promise House."

"And if I just lose it and can't be helped you will turn me over to a institution and forget me and live a long happy life." House said watching Wilson.

Wilson swallowed, "House, I can't..."

"Dammit Wilson this is what I want, promise me," House said loudly.

Wilson nodded, "Okay... I promise. I'm getting your stuff tonight from your place so is there anything you want me to grab besides the essentials."

House thought for a minute, "Why can't we just stop by tomorrow?"

Wilson licked his lips, "Your place hasn't been cleaned yet. The soonest I could get someone was at the end of next week. They said they can get out any smell and I hope they're right because the smell of burnt flesh has coated the walls in your room."

House knew it was best he didn't go back to his apartment until it was cleaned. "Get my guitar, keyboard, some books, and my back pack. I'll also need you to stop at a store and get me a new phone charger and some new medical journals."

"How about from work?" Wilson asked

"We'll stop by on our way to your place, just remember to bring me something clean and comfortable to change into tomorrow." House said stretching.

Wilson's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "I thought you didn't want anyone knowing you had been in the hospital."

"Oh if my teams been here then everyone at work already knows." House said with certainty.


	39. Chapter 39: Diagnostic Duo

It was seven as Wilson made his way into the Hospital. He really was done with everything except a couple of patients around lunch he needed to see and to organize his office some. He was about to go in his office when he saw Kutner walking out of the DDX room. "Hey Kutner, I was wondering if you have a minute."

Kutner looked surprised, "Sure," he said and followed Wilson into his office. "What can I do for you?"

Wilson walked around and shut his door, "How about not giving House a heart attack next time you see him."

Kutner looked up at him with guilty eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to get his heart rate up like that, it wont happen again."

Wilson nodded, "House... what happened to him... (Wilson swallowed) no one should ever have to go through and right now he isn't the House you know. You're lucky he didn't really hurt you." Wilson said with serious eyes.

Kutner swallowed as he saw that Wilson wasn't smiling, "Like I said it won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't," Wilson said and Kutner turned to leave. "Oh by the way, if... something like what happened yesterday... did happen again, and House was in some way hurt. Even though he would never press charges, I'm also his power of attorney I would sue and publicize every word of the trial in all of the papers in this and the four closest states just to make sure you would never be hired again."

Kutner stood looking and the door handle for a moment before he finally turned it and left.

House didn't sleep at all that night he was excited about finally getting out of the hospital and worried about staying with Wilson. So when Foreman and Thirteen finally dragged in at fifteen till eight House was bored of his own thoughts and glad to have some entertainment.

He watched as they both walked in sipping on large coffee's. "Oh, how sweet. I have the diagnostic duo to watch over me."

Thirteen gave him a curious look while Foreman pulled up another chair beside the one by his bed. "Oh goodie, you're awake. And here I was thinking we had a solid hour before we would have to hear of your sarcastic remarks." She said taking a seat and then a long sip of coffee.

House smiled, "What's wrong? Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, or in the wrong bed." He said now looking at Foreman.

Foreman rolled his eyes and unfolded a newspaper, "We're doing fine since you're so interested all of the sudden." Thirteen said looking down at him.

"Great! So is that how you did so well in medical school? Sleeping with your superiors?" House said with a innocent smile.

"He's not my superior, he's my co-worker. You are my boss and I promise you that's a mistake I'll never let happen." She said with a smile.

House pouted, "What you aren't a fan of smarter and lighter?"

"Try I'm not a fan of the three C's : cranky, crippled and crazy." She said with a yawn.

House smirked, "You forgot Caucasian. You do know that in all honesty he is your superior... right? He's second in command after me of course."

Thirteen's smile faded, "You wouldn't ever let someone else take charge of your team so I don't really see why it matters."

House had a smug smile, "No you're right, I wouldn't... but Cuddy... hmm... that's a different story. I'm suppose to be out for two more months. I don't think she's going to let you all get by with just watching over me and doing clinic duty for that long."

Thirteen gave a quick smile, "Don't worry House, we can handle it."

"Really... so just wondering.. is there a lot to handle." House said smiling.

"Wow... you must really be bored, I think this is the longest conversation I've see you have that wasn't about a patient or yourself." Foreman said looking at him as if bored.

House shrugged, "Is there something wrong with being curious about how my ducklings are doing or trying to make conversation?" House looked at Thirteen, "See you have to watch him, he's so touchy."

Thirteen smiled, "Nope not at all. So since you are so talkative I was wondering if you might want to tell us how you got here in this shape."

House looked down and sighed, "Fine... you're going to find out anyway." Both of them looked at him with surprise. "See first an ambulance was called, then they came and loaded me into the ambulance, and finally they drove me here."

Thirteen rolled her eyes, but Foreman was still watching him, "Why here and not Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital?"

House blinked, "Because I didn't want to go there," he said honestly.

Foreman was surprised by the answer, so much so, he just kind of repeated what he heard, "So you told them not to take you there?"

House swallowed, "No."

Foreman looked confused, "Wait you just said you didn't want to go to PPTH and now you're saying that you didn't tell them not to take you there? That doesn't make sense."

"Actually as literal as House is it makes perfect sense. All he's saying is he isn't the one that made the call." Thirteen said to Foreman and then looked at House, "So who made the call?"

"Beauty and brains, that's why I hired you." House said and then decided to reward her good deductive skills with and answer, "Wilson."

"Wilson was there?" She asked surprised House had gotten in such bad shape with Wilson just watching.

House shook his head as he watched her. He felt like he was in some kind of trance unable to stop answering the questions.

Foreman sighed, "You called him?" House nodded again. "Why would you call him instead of the ambulance if you were in bad shape?"

"Because I didn't think I would survive," House said now looking straight in Foreman's eyes.

Foreman was shaken by the honest answer. Thirteen looked at him with sad eyes, "House, what..." then jumped back as House jerked his arm way at her soft touch. She watched him with wide eyes as he covered himself with the blanket and inched farther from her looking down at his knees.

"They always keep it cold in these rooms," House said ignoring their worried glances.

"PTSD," Foreman said in thought and then let out a sigh, "I couldn't figure why they had you on Ativan, now it fits."

House looked up meeting Foreman's eyes, "Not as smart or pretty as your girlfriend." He said with disappointment.

Foreman pretended to be in deep thought, "You didn't show any signs of PTSD after being shot, so for you to have PTSD they had to do something really fucked up." He said looking back at House, "So what did they do to your feet, cut them and then pour alcohol over the wound."

"Nope," House said flatly.

Foreman smiled slightly happy House had taken the bait, "Prove it."

House realized he had been played, but wasn't going to back down, "Fine, glove up."

Foreman smiled as he washed his hands and gloved up. House pulled out one of his feet from the covers and Foreman started taking off the bandage. When he finally got a good look he swallowed and Thirteen looked and her shocked eyes met House's cold ones, "Who did this to you?"

House looked up as if in thought, "Well Cuddy always is claiming to own my ass, maybe she finally decided to put her mark on me."

Foreman re-bandaged the foot. "Yeah, that sounds sensible. She beats the crap out of you then brands your feet and after all of that she tell us that you need all the friends you've got and put's us on duty watching you."

"I didn't say she did it, or that it was sensible." House countered.

"It's not like we wont find out sooner or later. If you called Wilson, then I'm sure he was smart enough to call the police, so it'll be in the paper." Foreman said leaning back with a frown.

House knew he was right, "The guy that hit Cuddy in the clinic evidently didn't take being put in his place by a cripple so well. So he got some army buddies and they broke into my apartment, drugged me, tied me down and decided to pay me back."

Thirteen studied him, "You're serious. Then what they just left you there?"

House rubbed the back of his neck and avoided their eyes, "Not exactly."

"Then what did happen exactly?" Foreman said with a raised eyebrow.

"I convinced them to untie me, let me die fighting. There were four of them... I killed three and knocked the other one unconscious." House said as he stared off, after a couple moments of silence he looked at Foreman. "What no smart comments? Like, what did you do look at them."

Foreman shook his head, "That's old, and no." He said as he watched House.

House felt the judgment in that stare, "What the hell should I have done? What do you think you would have done after a couple of hours of torturing?" He yelled.

"House, calm down. I was looking at you because you're shaking." Foreman said quickly as he became more worried.

House looked down to notice the shaking and took some deep breaths as he tried to stop. While he did this Thirteen and Foreman exchanged worried and grave glances. "House, this is the kind of thing you need to talk to a professional about." Thirteen said softly.

"So did you talk to a professional about having Huntington's Disease." House asked looking up at her.

Thirteen looked down, "No, but I didn't kill someone and I didn't have PTSD."

Foreman looked at House, "I did therapy after recovering from meningoencphalitis and it really helped. It's hard adjusting after a close to death experience or when you have a new mental or physical handicap to overcome but they can make it easier."

House let out a bitter laugh, "Oh yeah because I don't know anything about over coming a handicap or close to death experiences."

Foreman remained calm and serious, "House it doesn't have to be so hard it you let someone help you."

House's eyes landed on him, "How long did it take you to make a full recovery, a month or two? You can't even see the scar."

Foreman sighed, "You're right House, yours is worse, a lot worse. Which is all the more reason to talk to someone who can help you."

House was done with the conversation. "I need to go to the restroom."

Foreman was surprised by the turn in conversation, "Okay..."

House looked at him as if he was an idiot, "Wheelchair." He said.

"Fine," Foreman said getting up to go find House a wheelchair.

"He's just trying to help," Thirteen said watching him.

House sighed, "If he wants to help he can offer up a new idea." He said and unhooked his IV.

It didn't take Foreman long to return with the wheelchair and he rolled it over to the other side of House's bed, "You need any help?" He asked not really expecting House to let him help.

"No," House said as he started dragging his body over to the edge near the wheelchair. Foreman backed up but stayed close just in case House had any problems.

House pulled the hospital gown tight so that the back wouldn't show his butt and grabbed the upper rail of the bed as he stood. The pain was bad but he kept it off his features as he used the railing to help turn himself around on only his left leg and then reached back for the wheelchair and sat down. He took some relaxing breaths and then smiled, "Keep yourself company this might take a while." House rolled into the bathroom and closed the door.

Foreman walked back over to Thirteen and sat down in the chair.

"You've worked for him for six years, have you ever seen him like this." She asked.

"You mean being a stubborn ass who's unwilling to take anyone's help? Yeah he's always like that, but he's never been in this bad of shape and I've never seen him shake like that." Foreman said as he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the bed.

Thirteen chewed her lip in thought for a moment and then looked at the bathroom door. "He said they tortured him for hours. If they did that to his feet, what else do you think they did to him?"

Foreman turned his head to her and looked at her with worried eyes, "I don't think I want to know."

House wasn't lying when he said it would be a while, thirty minutes later he finally rolled back out looking a bit more tired than he had when he went in. He looked at the bed then decided instead of trying to climb back in he would just stay in the wheelchair and rolled himself close to the IV line and hooked it back on.

"You're not going to get back in the bed?" Thirteen asked.

"I've spent too much time in the bed already, sitting upright will be better for me anyways." He said as he turned on the TV pushing up on the volume to give them the clear message that he didn't want to talk.

Both of them relaxed and watched Medical Mystery's and by the time it was over it was already afternoon. "Alright House, what do you want me to get you for lunch?" Foreman said with irritation.

House smirked, "Well I don't want to be a bother, so I'll pick something we will all enjoy. How about some fried chicken?"

"Yous wants me to picks up a watermelon wit dat too mas'a?" Foreman said in his best slave voice with sarcasm.

House held back a laugh, "No need, if you go to County Chicken they have a wonderful watermelon slush. I'll have a large one with the number 5 and tell them I want dark meat and mashed potatoes for the side."

Foreman rolled his eyes and got up then looked down at Thirteen. "You want to come with me or are you going to stay here."

"I'll stay, just get my usual," She said.

House's smile broadened at the knowledge that Foreman and Thirteen actually dined at the restaurant enough time to have favorites. Foreman saw the smile and smiled back, "She's the one that likes fried chicken not me."

"Don't worry the secret that you're black is safe with me Foreman," House said smugly and turned the channel to Prescription Passions.

House had only started on his meal when he stopped and watched Thirteen with interest. Her meal had come in one of the family sized boxes which had twelve tenders, a family sized potatoes, three half ears of corn, four rolls, and a 64 oz. Sweet tea. He couldn't look away as she stuffed almost full tenders in her mouth followed by a bit of corn and a spoon of potatoes before she actually chewed and went to the next bite. House had been staring for five minutes before she took a sip of her tea and looked up to notice him watching her. "What?" She asked as if she had no idea why he would be watching her.

"Where does it all go?" He asked as he looked her up and down.

Foreman smiled, "I told you, she can eat more than me and she never gains a pound."

Thirteen narrowed her eyes on Foreman, "There's nothing wrong with having a healthy appetite."

House took that as his cue to start back on his food, but could hear Foreman mumbling some sort of apology as he ate.


	40. Chapter 40: Off to Wilson's we go

By 4:30 House was dressed and in Wilson's car on the way to PPTH. "So what did you, Thirteen and Foreman talk about?"

House sighed, "I'm not your wife Wilson, you don't have to ask how my day was."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I couldn't be asking because I genuinely care."

House half smiled, "Alright, let me rephrase that. I'm not your husband, and you are not my wife."

Wilson chuckled and continued driving. When they finally got parked House waited for Wilson to get his wheelchair out of the trunk and roll it to his door, but pushed his hand back when he tried to help him into it. "I've got it." House said sternly. "I know you want to help but it's good for me to do it on my own. I've been laying in a bed for two weeks and I need the exercise to get my muscles back in shape otherwise I'll never make it through physical therapy."

Wilson knew he was right, "Okay," he said but had to try really hard not to grab the handles on the wheelchair and push House up to the entrance. Luckily it was slow and they managed to get on the elevator without anyone noticing them. House quickly wheeled himself to his office door and opened it awkwardly and wheeled himself in hoping no one would follow him and try to talk. Wilson had to run and got in a couple of seconds after House. "Didn't you realized you left me back there?" He said as he caught his breath.

"I didn't realized I need to hold your hand to make sure you found it. I'm so glad you didn't get lost, now how about closing the blinds before someone spots us." House said as looked at his desk.

Wilson seemed a little irritated by the comment, but closed the blinds anyway. "What are you looking for?" He asked as he could see House's eyes searching the office.

"Where's my balls?" He asked as he still combed the space with his eyes.

Wilson walked over and was surprised when he didn't see the balls either. "Um, I don't know."

House smiled, "I bet I know who took them."

"Is that all you wanted from here?" Wilson asked.

"No, I also want to bring all of the files in the bottom drawer of this filing cabinet, the books on the top shelf, my portable TV in the second drawer, and my brain diagram statue." House said then a smirk appeared on his lips, "I guess you'll have to box everything up since I'm in a wheelchair."

Wilson narrowed his eyes on House, "Oh I bet that upsets you so much."

House smiled bigger, "It does Wilson, I'm the kind of guy that really likes to pull my weight."

"Sure," Wilson said as he tried to reach the books on the top shelf and realized he was going to have to stand in the chair to reach them. He finally started putting some in the box when he looked around and noticed House was no longer there and sighed, "I'm going to have to put a bell on his wheelchair."

House was proud of himself for being able to sneak away from Wilson so easily. He rolled around making sure not to draw attention to himself. He stopped by coma guys room and watched some TV then he went to the morgue and checked his spot to find that they must have found the food stash he had and emptied it. House smiled as he imagined Cuddy's face when they told her about it. Then he was about to go to the rec. room for the cancer patients since he wouldn't know any of the patients and knew they had a piano when he saw Cuddy behind him and quickly rolled into an empty hall and waited for her to pass. When he finally heard the heels clack on by he let out a breath and peaked to see her get stopped by nurse Mayes, who was known for being at the top of the gossip food chain.

"Hello Dr. Cuddy, I've heard that you've been a busy girl, you could have told me you know." Mayes said suggestively.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh right. So you forgot that you are dating House? My husband's friend's girlfriend works at New Jersey Medical. She said that House has been there the whole time and that you've been going to see him." Mayes said with a gleam in her eye.

Cuddy felt frozen and then realized that all she had to do was deny it and make it sound really. "I stopped by to check on him strictly for work. I promise you that was all it was." Cuddy said as she tried to step by, but Mayes stepped in front of her.

"Oh don't give me that. He's not an unattractive man, and lord knows you let him get away with everything he does. It's obvious you like him." Mayes said not giving up on getting a juicy story.

House found this all to irresistible and slowly rolled up four feet behind Cuddy to make sure Mayes wouldn't notice him unless she moved.

Cuddy laughed a nervous laugh, "I don't find House attractive. Hell I hardly find him tolerable. If it wasn't for the fact that he some how pulls off saving patients I would fire him just so I didn't have to put up with him. And appearances isn't even the worst part. He's a cold hearted , malicious minded, arrogant psychopath. The only reason he even has a team is to keep him out of trouble, and you see how he's gone through them."

Mayes sighed with disbelief, "There's no way you actually think that or he wouldn't be working here anymore. You are going to have to do better than that if you really want me to believe you aren't dating him. Hell, that's how I talk about my husband half the time." She said with a smile.

Wilson finally saw House and was about to call out to him when he noticed that he was watching Cuddy and a nurse. Wilson walked up and just stood behind House.

"Fine, the only thing I find more disgusting then House's personality is that horrific scar he has on his leg." She said loudly ready to get this girl to drop it and turned red as everyone near her stared at her.

House's smile faded as he looked down at his leg and self consciously covered it with his right hand.

Wilson couldn't believe what he had just heard and just stared in disbelief.

Mayes finally was ready to drop it, if Cuddy would say that then it was evident that they weren't dating. Everyone in the hospital knew that House's leg wasn't up for grabs and was probably one of the only things that would actually hurt the cold man. She stepped out of Cuddy's way and then saw Wilson and House behind Cuddy and stepped directly back in front of her.

"Mayes, will you please let me go, I have things to do," Cuddy said with frustration.

Mayes's face was red with embarrassment, "Behind you," she whispered with guilty eyes.

"Right and what I'm going to turn around and..." Cuddy stopped talking and moving as she had been turning and saw House with Wilson behind him.

House smiled at her, "Really a great speech there. You ought to write it down, I think it would be perfect for my eulogy."

Cuddy swallowed and looked back to see that nurse Mayes had some how vanished. "How... how long.."

"Oh don't worry, you didn't say anything I didn't already know," House said calmly but his eyes seemed to bore through her.

Cuddy felt like the lowest snake on earth. She saw his hand covering his thigh and looked up to see Wilson glaring at her. Cuddy looked back at House, "I didn't mean it. I was just trying to get her to leave me alone about us."

House remained emotionless, "You don't have anything to explain Cuddy. There is no us, it's not like we're dating. I mean if we were it would be a really bitchy thing to say but we aren't and I've heard worse."

Cuddy felt horrible the more he excused her. She walked over to him and reached down to touch his arm, but he wheeled back.

"We wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea," he said with warning glance.

Cuddy looked back at Wilson, "I've still got some work to do, but I'll be over later for dinner."

House looked back to see that it was Wilson she was talking to and let out a deep sigh as he figured Wilson must have heard what she said.

She then looked at him, "We can talk more about this then and I'm so sorry House." Cuddy said then left.

Wilson's watched her with an expression that said all to clearly "go fuck yourself."

"Dinner?" House asked not looking at him.

"Um... yeah, we had thought it would be better to all have dinner the night you came home, but if you don't want her there just tell me and I'll make sure she knows she isn't invited." Wilson said.

House wheeled himself around to face Wilson, "Why wouldn't I want her there?" He said casually as if nothing had happened.

Wilson frowned, "To be honest after what she just said I don't want her there."

"Oh like you think my scar is some wonderious beauty," House said sarcastically. "It's fine, I'm not really a big fan myself, so are you done packing?"

"Yeah, but we still need to get your prescriptions filled," Wilson said holding what looked like a small note book of individual prescriptions.

"I'd rather do that somewhere else, the last thing I want is for people to find out what medication I'm on." House said and rolled his chair toward the exit.

Wilson pulled up to the Walgreen's Drive thru window and handed off House's prescriptions along with House's insurance information and drivers license. After they processed everything and got House in the system they told them that it would be at least three hours until they would have all the prescriptions filled, which Wilson had expected so they headed home.

House had been incredibly quiet the whole time and Wilson peeked over to see him staring out the window. "You want me to stop by your place and pick up some vicodin or oxycodone since it's going to be a while before your prescription is ready?"

"No, I can wait," House said distantly.

Wilson frowned and looked back at the road, "About what Cuddy said, you know she didn't mean it."

"Or maybe she did, maybe she meant all of it. She could have been dating me to gain some control over me." House said flatly as he watched the city pass by.

"House I know..." Wilson started but was cut off by House.

"You don't KNOW shit!" He said loudly with anger in his eyes as he looked at Wilson, then he took a deep breath and looked back out the window, "to be honest how she really feels about me probably lies somewhere between the best and worst things she's said about me." He let out a sad laugh, "It's not like it really matters anymore, I've probably got HIV and even if I didn't she would always be to ashamed to be seen with me."

Wilson didn't say anything. He wanted to say that it wasn't true, but to be honest, Cuddy did seem ashamed of him. He could understand her denying a romantic relationship to people at work but she couldn't even admit a friendship. She was friends with lots of the doctors at the hospital so it wasn't because she wasn't allowed to be friends with House... it was because she was afraid people would look down on her for just being his friend. Wilson was finally home and gave House a smile, "Well here we are."

"Great," House said as he put on a smile for Wilson's sake.

Wilson grabbed the wheelchair and put it by House's open door. House got in and wheeled himself up to the steps. Steps weren't easy on House before, but now... he let out a sigh. Wilson looked to see what the hold up was and let out an equally dreaded sigh. "I could carry you up," he suggested.

House rolled his eyes, "Jesus, I'm not your wife Wilson, there's no need to carry me over the threshold."

"Alright then how do you want to do this?" Wilson asked looking down at him.

"There's a hand rail, I'll just have to jump up them using that. Go on and unlock the door and you can grab the wheelchair." House said as he moved the feet holders out of the way.

Wilson unlocked the door and stood back in front of House, "You are making this way more difficult than it has to be, just let me carry you up."

House clenched his jaws, "I'm tired of repeating my self so I'm going to say this one more time real slow and hope it sinks into that thick skull of yours. Keep your hands off of me or you're going to get hurt." Wilson looked at him with a mixture of hurt and worry. House sighed and looked down, "I don't want to, but I'm not completely in control of my body or mind right now. After my first solo mission I broke a guys arm in two places who was just trying to help me up."

Wilson swallowed, "Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"Because I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want you to think of me as a deranged person you had to watch out for every moment. That's not even the worst I've done, I should have told you. You can always just load me back up and take me back to my place." House said looking at him.

"I'm not doing that House. I'm ready to try this if you are." Wilson said and waited for House to stand.

House pushed himself up on his foot and grabbed the rail. Wilson made quick work of getting the wheelchair up and watched as House jumped up the stairs with pained features on the one leg, accidentally bumping his left leg every now and then. When he finally made it to the top he was sweating slightly and looked tired as he flopped down in the chair.

Wilson slowly pulled the wheelchair inside, some what surprised that House didn't just start doing it himself. He took him to the restroom first, "Alright here's the restroom. I've got rails for you to grab a hold of in the tub, a chair for you to sit in and one of those snake shower head so you can get hard to reach places like your back. Toilet has new railing as well and this cabinet has all the bandaging, burn pads, and tape you could need. Clean towels are in here, and all of your dirty laundry goes in this hamper with the trash can liner in it." Wilson watched as House's head bobbed slightly. "You alright?"

"The trip up the stairs took a lot more out of me then I thought it would. I'll be fine." House said and looked around, "So is that the end of the bathroom tour?"

Wilson looked around to make sure he had gotten everything. "Yep, now it's on to your room." He said grabbing the handles on the chair.

"I can do it myself," House said in a scolding way and then took charge of the wheelchair.

Wilson let go and got in front of House so he could just follow him to the room. "This is your room," Wilson announced and opened the door so House could roll in.

House looked around and felt eerie as he saw all the pictures of Amber watching him. He saw clips in his head of that night on the train was Wilson talked.

Wilson started opening drawers, "You have underwear and sock in this drawer, light weight jogging pants in the next one, and in the bottom I put all of your sweats. In the closet I put all of your shirts, jackets, and slacks. I also grabbed a couple pairs of shoes which are in the bottom of the closet. Oh and if you're wondering where your instruments are I have you're keyboard set up in the living room and your guitar is sitting beside it." Wilson finish pleased with himself.

House looked back at Wilson, he wanted to ask him why he would put him in there with all of those pictures, but right as he got up the nerve he noticed a picture of Amber smiling right by Wilson's shoulder and felt a tug of guilt. "Thanks," he said and rolled out of the room and ran his hand over his face as he remembered the bus, losing Amber, losing Wilson and tried to push it from his mind.

"Hey, this is all going to go better than you think House," Wilson said as he looked down at him, "and by the way, you can make the arm rest on the wheelchair go down out of the way by pressing that yellow button on the side of them."

House looked at the button and nodded then pulled the bottle of medicine that Dr. Ryan had given him and dry swallowed one of the pills.

"What I'm already getting on your nerves?" Wilson said with a hint of irritation in his voice.

House looked up at him, "Yeah it could be that, or it could just be time for me to take another one," he said in a way that told Wilson to quit acting like a girl.

Wilson frowned and then let out a sigh, "So, what do you want to do?"

House shrugged as he looked around, "How about we just watch some TV?"

Wilson shook his head, "I don't get it. You were stuck in a Hospital room for two weeks with nothing else to do but watch TV and what's the first thing you want to do when you get home... watch TV." He said as he made his way to the couch and turned on the TV.

House rolled his eyes and thought momentarily about taking another pill and this time it would be just because Wilson was irritating him.

"You going to come in here or watch it from in there?" Wilson said.

House rolled himself in the living room and watched the Animal Planet. After thirty minutes he texted Cuddy while Wilson was in the restroom. (He's already driving me crazy. Come soon and bring my balls. I know you have them. House)

Cuddy read the message and smiled, at least he wasn't that mad at her and she could just see him narrowing his eyes when he said that he knew she had them. Cuddy looked at the busy work she had been doing to avoid going over and started putting it away.

It didn't take her long to get there and when she knocked on the door Wilson answered. "Hi," she said with a nervous smile, "how's he doing?"

Wilson looked pissed, "You can ask him yourself."

"So you are going to let me in?" She asked some surprise.

"No, House is letting you in I voted against it," He said and opened the door.

Cuddy walked in and the first thing she noticed was the feminine feel of the place and then the pictures of Amber. She tried to ignore them as she saw House sitting by the couch and walked over to him. She dug into her purse and pulled out two oversized brightly colored tennis balls. "You been looking for these?" She said with a smirk.

House narrowed his eyes on her and smirked, "It's no fun if you make it that easy. Now hand them over." She put them in his lap and he smiled, "Wow, you'll take any excuse to try and cop a feel."

Cuddy laughed, "What's the matter House, now that you're in a wheelchair you afraid I'm going to take advantage of you?" She said and put her hand on his knee and gently ran it up his leg until she heard him hiss through his teeth and saw the pained look. "House, are you okay?"

"I'm just sore from the steps, as soon as my prescriptions are ready I'll be doing better." He said with a tightened jaw.

Cuddy looked at him in interest, "The steps? You didn't... of course you did. Let me see the bottom of your foot."

House rolled his eyes and looked at her, "I'll lift my foot you can look but don't touch."

Cuddy nodded, "Fine, now lift." House did and Cuddy sighed, "House the bottom of your foot is bleeding."

House seemed to pale a bit and noticed that there were drops of blood on the carpet. "I'm going to bandage it and change socks, Wilson did you buy gloves?"

"Yeah House," Wilson answered with a sad smile.

"Make sure to use them," He said and wheeled off to the bathroom.

Cuddy waited until House was out of the room, "Since when does he care if you wear gloves or not when cleaning?"

"That's none of your business," Wilson said as he gloved up and got some spot remover and scrub brush.

Cuddy sighed as he walked past her and started cleaning the spot, "I didn't mean for him to hear that, I was just trying to get her to leave me alone about him."

Wilson stopped scrubbing and sighed, "You know I could believe that if you had said he was just a friend, but you couldn't even do that."

Cuddy put her hands on her hip, "If I had said we were friends then she would have told the whole hospital we were sleeping together."

"You were just a couple of weeks ago, or did you forget?" Wilson said scrubbing hard to help relieve his frustrations.

"And I can't let anyone find that out. I already explained this to you, if people think we are more than co-workers then they will assume every break House had gotten was because of that." Cuddy said now getting pissed.

"That's not true, you are friends with a lot of the doctors and people don't accuse you of letting that effect your professional relationship. He's told me several times but I never really believed him until now, but he's right your ashamed of him." Wilson said glaring at her and going to another spot.

Cuddy looked stunned, "I'm not ashamed of him. I'm the one that reminds the board of how good he is at his job. I'm the one who reminds patients that he truly is the best."

"God you don't get it do you? Probably because that's all you see him as an asset for work. I'm not talking about him as a doctor, I'm talking about him as a human-being, a friend or anything more." Wilson said and then sighed, "I mean I really want to know Cuddy, if this hadn't happened how long would you have dated him in secret? It's not like you could get married to him and no one find out."

"House never wanted marriage," Cuddy countered.

"You don't know that, he had planned to ask Stacy." Wilson said watching her. Cuddy stood there with her arms crossed not saying a word. "Wow... you would really not marry him just so people didn't find out." He whispered as he looked to make sure House wasn't out yet.

Cuddy swallowed, "No, I care about House a lot, but I don't know if I love him, and I would never accept a marriage proposal until I was sure. This isn't about work, I have a daughter to consider who I don't want growing up seeing me in an unhappy relationship."

"No one is ever sure if someone is the right one Cuddy and if it was an unhappy relationship why were you still in it?" Wilson asked

Cuddy tightened her arms in sort of hug, "It wasn't unhappy, just new and hard. No one is more disappointed than I am that I didn't get to see what it would turn into. I get that what I said was harsh, but you have to take into account that I never meant for him to hear that."

Wilson shook his head, "No, because you crossed a line even if you didn't expect him to hear it. You brought up his scar, that wasn't just harsh. That's something only a cold hearted bitch would do."


	41. Chapter 41: A Slice of Pain

"That's enough," House said sitting in the wheelchair looking at both of them. "Am I going to have to separate you two? I get that both of you care and Daddy loves both of you okay? Now let's just drop all of this and focus on what's really important... when will my medicine be ready to pick up?"

Wilson looked at his watch, "It's only 7:15 House it wont be ready until at least nine." He noticed how House looked away and clenched his jaw. "What's wrong?"

House took some deep breaths and closed his eyes while his hands were balled in fists. "I was just wondering."

Cuddy and Wilson both took a couple of steps forward and House suddenly had his head leaned back so far it looked like the scar on his neck was going to open up as his body went stiff and his right leg started shaking violently against the chair. Cuddy looked to Wilson, "Do you have anything?"

Wilson nodded and took off into the kitchen and grabbed a syringe then returned and waited for it the spasm to end. As soon as it was over he took off the cap and got the right amount of medicine and then started to stick it in House. Houses hand grabbed his arm stopping it and when Wilson looked at him his eyes were dark menacing as his grip tightened and time seemed to pass with held breaths. "House..." Wilson said with worry and suddenly all the malice was gone, there was flash of fear and then his eyes became stone cold.

"I'll do it myself," House said and picked up the syringe that at some point Wilson had dropped and rolled in his lap.

Wilson finally took a breath and pulled back and suddenly he felt an overwhelming pain on his arm. He looked down to see that his skin still had House's hand print in white that had completely wrapped around his forearm and then he made the mistake of moving it which led to a grunted, "Dammit."

House had been watching right along with Cuddy but looked away after hearing the pained curse. He slowly rolled back as Cuddy tried to look at Wilson's arm and made up his mind, he was leaving. House grabbed his back pack and put the balls Cuddy had brought in it along with his PTSD medication and slowly started making his way to the door.

"House what are you doing?" Wilson asked walking towards him.

House looked him straight in the eyes, "Going home like I should have done in the first place." He then looked over to Cuddy, "You want to give me a ride or am I pushing it the whole way?"

Cuddy blinked at him as if trying to comprehend the idea, "House I can't take you home to stay by yourself."

"Look at what I did to him!" House said loudly, "I didn't even know what I was doing."

"House if you go home and have a panic attack you could die." Wilson said calmly with logic.

"Yeah and if I stay here I could lose it and kill you then spend the rest of my life in a prison cell, I think I'd rather take my chances at my place." House said then noticed that Wilson was now standing in front of the door. "Get out of the way."

"No," Wilson said staring him down.

"Wilson you know I can move you from that door if you make me." House said with warning in his voice.

"Yep I do, but I also know that you don't want to hurt me again and I'm willing to bet that you wont risk hurting me to get out of here." Wilson said.

House frowned at Wilson and looked at Cuddy, "Talk some logic into him. This isn't safe." He pleaded to her.

Cuddy looked at Wilson and then House, "Neither way is safe, but do you think that either of us is going to be able to forgive ourselves if we let you go home and something happens. He shouldn't have moved so quick, or touched you, he should have just let you do it. I'm sure he wont make the same mistake twice." She said now looking at Wilson to agree.

Wilson nodded, "She's right House, the only reason this happened is because I didn't listen to what you said. I just acted on instinct from being a doctor, it wont happen again."

House stared down and balled up his fists. Wilson swallowed, "House I'm not trying to make you mad."

Cuddy looked and could see his leg muscle jerk slightly, "He isn't mad, he's about to have another spasm."

As if on cue House's body slung back and went ridged as his leg trashed about he tried desperately to grab it and get some relieve but he let out a pained scream at the contact to the burnt flesh. Both Cuddy and Wilson kept their distance as they watched helpless to stop the pain. The spasm lasted for almost five minutes and left him limp like a rag-doll. His eyes were glazed over as he stared at ceiling with sweat beads racing down his face and heavy breaths.

"House you need to take the medicine," Cuddy said trying to stay calm.

House looked in his hand at the syringe he was still holding on to and stuck it in his leg through his pants then pushed the medicine into the muscle. When he was done he pulled out the syringe and pulled off the needle facing in the syringe and dropped it because of his shaky hands.

Wilson picked it up and discarded it, when he walked back up to House he could tell he was drained, "House are you okay?"

"You're an idiot." House said in a raspy voice.

Wilson gave a relieved smile, "I know," he said knowing it was House's way of apologizing.

House was still in a lot of pain but glanced up and could tell Wilson knew what he meant. He slowly rolled himself back to the TV trying to keep the pain off of his face. They both followed sitting down on the couch and pretending to be interested in the program. After a couple of minutes Wilson looked at House, "What do you want for supper tonight?"

House had been nauseous for the last hour, but didn't want to worry Wilson, "Pizza's fine with me."

Wilson smiled, "Great, I'll get the usual for you," he said and then looked at Cuddy, "What do you like on your pizza?"

Cuddy shrugged, "I'll just have a slice of whatever you two are having."

Wilson lifted an eyebrow, "His is brisket, bacon, ham, chicken, and sausage with BBQ sauce."

Cuddy looked disgusted, "I'll just have a veggie pizza."

Wilson smiled, "Good, I'll probably have a couple of slices of yours."

"Chicken," House said looking straight at her.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes playfully, "I'm not a chicken, I'm just taking care of my body."

House scoffed, "Cluck-cluck cluck... cluck- cluck."

Cuddy stuck her tongue at him, "Tell you what House if you eat a slice of mine, I'll eat a slice of your nasty meat laden pizza."

House felt sick thinking about eating anything, and it must have shown.

"Oh come on House, some veggies aren't going to kill you." Cuddy said with a smirk.

House swallowed the bile and smiled, "Your on."

By the time the pizza was delivered the pain had only gotten worse. House was taking ragged breaths when Cuddy walked over to him. "It's time to eat. House, what's wrong?"

House closed his eyes a second and tried to get it together then looked her straight in the eyes, "Oh don't act like you don't know what you do to me in that tight outfit leaning down like that."

Cuddy blushed and stood back up, she wasn't sure if he was just having fun with her or if he was serious. But as she watched his eyes roaming her body and stopping on her hips she swallowed and bit her lip. "Well try to keep the panting down at the table," she said walking away with a extra swing in her step and for a moment House watched her butt with interest almost letting the pain slip his mind until he started pushing the chair. As soon as he was at the table Wilson put a plate down with one piece of each of the two pizzas. He looked at both of them with disgust.

"Now remember," Cuddy said smirk as she saw him look up at her, "my mouth doesn't touch your meat, until you eat mine all up."

House smirked at the double innuendo as his eyes stopped on her ample cleavage, "Oh stop acting like you don't want my sausage, when we both know how much you like it." He said then licked his lips.

Cuddy was surprised how much he was pushing and then realized after what she said at work maybe he was doing this to reassure himself that she hadn't meant it. "Too bad you never let me taste it," Cuddy said as she let her tongue lick her top lips, "I bet it would have filled my bossy little mouth with it's own goodness."

Wilson couldn't believe that they were both doing this with him there.

House's imagination had always be in overdrive and now his panting had nothing to do with pain as he his mind was overwhelmed by her words and he could feel himself stiffen. His eyes were on her daring her to continue, "I was just worried that you were trying to bite off more than you could suck.. oh wait that's chew.. right? Wouldn't want you to choke or anything."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "Aw how caring of you, but there was no need for worry. I could handle you House... all of you." She said leaning over a little to give him an even better view.

Housed looked down her shirt,swallowed, and back in her ice blue eyes, "Really, and just for reference how exactly would you have done that?" He said with deep blue lustful eyes.

Cuddy blushed and flipped her hair at which time she notice Wilson eating his pizza with closed eyes as if wishing he wasn't there. She had completely forgotten about him and suddenly she felt mortified about what she had said to House. "A lady doesn't reveal all of her secrets especially in front of a gentleman." She said tipping her head toward Wilson.

House looked over at Wilson and knew the fun was over and the pain started to once again make him feel sick. "I'm not a gentleman?" He asked watching her.

Cuddy smiled, "Anything but."

House smiled through the pain, "Oh... that's right I almost forgot I'm a cold hearted , malicious minded, arrogant psychopath and the only thing more disgusting then me as a person is the horrific scar on my thigh."

Wilson watched with interest at how quick House switched from flirting to cutting.

Cuddy blinked stunned at hearing her owns cruel words. "House, I told you..."

"Let's just eat," House said looking back at his food. He picked up the veggie pizza stuffed it down quickly and then started on his slice. He was almost done when he felt his stomach lurch and rolled as quickly as he could into the restroom and locked it.

Cuddy and Wilson both watched and when they heard the distinct sounds of up chucking they looked away. "What time is it?" She asked then ate the last of her veggie slice.

"It's only eight," Wilson said as he heard House in the restroom still barfing.

Cuddy frowned, "Why didn't you just get his prescriptions filled at the pharmacy in the hospital?"

Wilson looked up at Cuddy and could tell she was worried so he just took a bite of his pizza and shrugged.

Cuddy could tell something was up, "I'm his general doctor, so if there is something medical going on with him I need to know and he has patient doctor confidentiality."

"Where was that when you brought up his scar to Mayes?" Wilson asked with narrowed eyes. "I'm pretty sure that's something he's only showed you for medical reasons."

Cuddy felt her stomach drop, he was right during the brief time they dated he never willingly showed her his scar. "Oh my god, I can't believe I broke doctor patient confidentiality." She said as her mouth when dry.

Wilson shook his head, "Wow, you're really more upset about that then the fact that you betrayed a friend."

Cuddy glared at him, "Oh I'm sorry, obviously I haven't been around you two enough to shrug off legal matters that could result in me losing my medical license."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I can promise you Cuddy if he didn't sue you after you cut 5 pounds of muscle from his leg, he isn't going to sue you for this."

Cuddy took a bite of House's pizza and almost gagged so she spit it out in a napkin. "That's horrible." She said as she threw the pizza slice away. "It's not that he will take legal actions that worries me, it that I've been around him long enough I didn't even notice I was crossing the line."

"So it's his fault that you broke doctor patient confidentiality?" Wilson said with skepticism.

Cuddy grabbed another slice of the veggie pizza, "I get that what I said was bad, but just forget about it for a second and tell me if you can remember any other time I've broken a legal rule like that, except the time I perjured myself for House."

Wilson thought about it a second, "Fine, I can't remember another time."

"I'm not saying it's his fault I'm just saying that's when you are around someone who doesn't care about the rules it's easier for you to slip up yourself." Cuddy said taking a bite.

"You're right Cuddy. House is the devil and just being around him is poisoning you. I'll understand if you feel the need to leave before he corrupts you any more." Wilson said getting madder by the minute.

Cuddy looked at him but could see that she wasn't going to get anywhere with him when he was this mad so she opted to not respond. After she was done eating she started thinking about the budgets and running numbers in her head.

Wilson ate slowly as he steadily got madder at Cuddy for trying to blame House for her mistake. Even after he was done with his meal he's mind still reeled about the mean things Cuddy had said and done to House before and after the incident. Wilson picked up the plates and took them to the kitchen when he noticed the time on the microwave. It was 8:45 which meant that House had been in the restroom for almost an hour. The thoughts of Cuddy flew from his mind as he looked at the closed door of the restroom and it occurred to him that he hadn't heard any noise after about the first 10 minutes that House had been in there. Wilson walked up to the door, "House?"

There wasn't a response and that worried Wilson more, "House you need to say something or I'm coming in." Once again there was nothing but silence.

"He has been in there a really long time," Cuddy said softly.

Wilson pulled the key's from his pocket and found the one he had labeled bathroom then unlocked the door and opened it. There he saw House in the wheelchair with body folded over his legs and his head resting on the toilet seat. Wilson took in the House's pale face and took a tentative step forward and then jumped up when he heard a snore.

Cuddy got up when Wilson jumped back hitting his elbow on the doorway, "Is everything okay?" She asked with a slight panic in her voice.

Wilson looked back at her as he caught his breath, "Yeah, he's asleep."

Cuddy walked over to Wilson and cringed at the uncomfortable looking position. She leaned down to give him a nudge.

"He said not to touch him," Wilson said sharply and she stood back up.

"House!" Cuddy said in her traditional way and House's head bounced off the toilet quickly.

"I wasn't sleeping," House mumbled as he looked around. He looked at Cuddy who had a smirk and Wilson who seemed worried then realized he was in the restroom. The pain made him bite his lip and he looked down to see the toilet full of vomit.

"You alright?" Wilson asked watching him.

House nodded and flushed the toilet then rolled over to the sink and rinsed out his mouth. "I don't feel like eating." He said as he rolled past them into the living room with out looking at either of them.

"Do you really expect me to just act like I didn't find you passed out?" Wilson said as he walked behind him.

House turned his wheelchair quickly and Wilson almost walked into him, "Why does everything have to be a discussion with you?"

Wilson put his hands on his hips, "I didn't say anything about a discussion I'm just wanting an explanation."

House sighed, "I didn't sleep last night... there's the big mystery."

"You know the importance of rest after injuries House." Wilson snipped.

House rolled his eyes, "You think I stayed up on purpose? Why so I could hear this today? I couldn't sleep."

"Why?" Wilson asked watching him, "was it the pain or the medication?"

House looked at him, "No... I was just anxious about leaving and coming here."

"What number?" Wilson asked watching his breathing.

House glance from Wilson to Cuddy and back to Wilson, "I'm fine."

"What number House?" Wilson asked more forcefully.

House looked down to notice the shake in his hand and tried to control his breathing more, "A eight."

Wilson stomped off and House watched him with worry, "What are you doing?" House asked with anxiety.

Wilson looked back, "I'm going to get your medicine it should be ready and even if it isn't I'm getting your pain medication." Then he grabbed his wallet and left slamming the door.


	42. Chapter 42: Then End to a Long Day

Cuddy looked at House blankly.

"See I told you this wasn't a good idea, now he's got it in his head that we're married. Pretty soon there will be late nights where I'm alone and then he'll come in crying about how he cheated and asking if I can ever forgive him." House said expressively.

Cuddy smiled, "You never know House you could be the one."

House laughed and then stopped with a wince and held his side some. He looked around and stopped at the picture of Amber, "To be honest, I think she really might have been the one."

Cuddy looked at the picture and sat down in one of the dining chairs, "Why do you think that?"

House shrugged, "He wasn't dating her out of her neediness. He was just dating her because they clicked." House frowned, "She was the female version of me and because of that they balanced each other. Just because it didn't make since to people doesn't mean it didn't work. Amber really loved him."

Cuddy swallowed, she had never really approved of the relationship but from the way House was talking about it she could tell he had wanted it to work. She looked around and decided that since Wilson wasn't here she was going to ask what was on her mind. "Did she decorate this place?"

House looked at her with a smirk, "Well, I would think so since this was her apartment."

Cuddy looked confused, "What do you mean?"

"Wilson was still living in a hotel when he started dating her. When things got more serious he moved in and then when she died he just stayed here." House said rubbed his neck.

Cuddy leaned in closer, "Why would he stay here?"

House let out a sigh of frustration, "Because the rent is low." He said with sarcasm, "Why do you think? He isn't over her."

Cuddy looked worried, "This isn't healthy for him, she isn't coming back. He needs to try and move on and that's not going to happen when he's living here, not to mention this has to be awkward for you."

House met her eyes, "Why would it be awkward for me?"

Cuddy looked at him with sympathy, "Because even though you pretend not to, you care about Wilson and feel guilty about Amber." House rolled his wheelchair back and forth deciding to ignore the comment. "House... are you telling me being here doesn't make you feel anything?"

House looked down with a sigh, "It wasn't my fault. He's hurting and he's already made too many sacrifices for me," he said looking up.

Cuddy had noticed that he didn't really answer the question, "You would do everything he's done if not more if it was him and you know that I'm right about this being unhealthy for him. Who stays in their dead girlfriends apartment?"

"Who keeps engagement rings that they never got to give to their girlfriend after they were left in the middle of the night?" House snapped loudly.

Cuddy looked at him, surprised by the outburst.

He looked away hoping she didn't see the pain he felt, "Everyone deals in their own way, if he waits over a decade to start dating then we can worry."

Cuddy thought carefully about her words, "You lost more than someone you loved House. You lost... a piece of yourself, to be honest I'm not sure which scar is bigger the physical one, the emotional one, or the one she left on your heart. Wilson and Amber aren't you and Stacy. You were with her for five years, that's longer than most of Wilson's marriages."

House clenched his jaw, "I'm not going to tell him he needs to move away from the only thing he has left of her when if it wasn't for me... she would probably be here with him right now."

Cuddy could see the heart breaking guilt and pain on his face. She looked away as she felt a tug on her heart to reach out and touch him, "You could at least ask him to take down some of the pictures and put away some of her personal items." She said looking at the purse hanging up.

House shook his head, "I'm not doing that."

"Why? You afraid he'll push you out of his life again?" She asked.

House looked up with fear in his eyes and heavy breathing, "He's all I have."

Cuddy reached for his face and he pulled away, "House it doesn't have to be that way if you could just let someone else in."

House stood up, "YOU THINK I DIDN'T TRY! LOOK... Look at what it got me." He said and sat back down as the pain was over whelming him.

Cuddy gasped at his words, and saw the pain he was no longer able to hide, "You think you're being punished for... us. I thought you didn't believe in God."

House felt a pain so intense he literally couldn't see and then felt Cuddy's hand on his shoulder. He couldn't hear only feel the pain and when his vision came back he felt light headed and confused. He looked at Cuddy who had her hand supporting the side of his face and her other hand on his shoulder. House made an attempt to pull away but only managed to rock his head in her hand. "Why... are you... touching me?"

"You screamed 'help me'." She said as she moved her hand to take his pulse.

"No... What?" He said as he tried to pull away from her.

"STOP MOVING OR I SWEAR I'LL MAKE YOU!" She yelled and suddenly he went ridged. She could tell he was mumbling something but wasn't paying attention as she calculated and pulse and started immediately giving him a carotid massage, and that's when she heard what he was whispering, "Please Stacy, don't leave. I'll try harder, but the pain.. I'm sorry," over and over again.

She pulled her head back and looked at him. He's eyes were closed tight and his lips where shaky as he whispered. Cuddy swallowed, "House, it's Cuddy, I'm not going to hurt you. Just tell me where it hurts."

House lurched and Cuddy grabbed a trash can just in time so that he didn't throw up all over himself and her. The sweat was pouring off of him, "The... bone... (hiss through teeth) is unset." He said as he panted and looked at her with heavy lidded eyes.

Cuddy put her hand on his right leg pushed lightly then tried the left and he screamed so loud it made her jump. She caught her breath and looked at his pants noticing the snap buttons up the leg and started pulling the open. When she got to the top of his thigh she stopped and looked at him, "Just let me make sure, this is going to hurt." Cuddy pushed against his thigh hard so she could feel the bone with nervous hands.

He gasped as his body pulled away from the pain. "I'm really sorry, please Stacy."

Cuddy suddenly imagined Stacy hitting him with a golf club and even though she wanted to stop she pushed hard so she could feel the break line. She glanced up making sure he was okay and looked back digging deeper and then she felt it... his bone had shifted, probably from when he stood up. "You're right."

"So you tortured me because you didn't believe me! I know I'm not great at most thing, but I'm a damn good doctor Stacy. Now pull my foot." House said as he used the right hand to brace himself with the wheelchair while the other one was on his left thigh right by the break.

"No... House this is crazy," Cuddy said as she stood up.

"GOD DAMNIT STACY, trust me. I know what I'm doing and stop calling me House!" House yelled as he tried to calm himself then he looked back up and even though his vision was blurry he could feel the worry coming off of her. He reached out and grabbed her hand, "It's going to be okay," he said with reassurance and then got ready and nodded at her.

It was like her body was on auto pilot as she grasped his foot and then pulled hard. He screamed again and hit the break-line hard with his fist. Cuddy dropped his foot and stepped back surprised at what she had done and he grabbed his knee and pulled it toward himself correctly resetting the bone and then he let go and his body was shaking from the pain.

"I've got to make sure it's set right. I'm sorry," She said pushed his thigh muscle hard with her hands to try and feel the break, but House was right, it was so smooth now that she could barely feel the break and she tried to pull away but was stopped by House's hand. Cuddy looked up at him and his other hand combed through her hair.

His eyes where on hers and suddenly he felt foolish, "Cuddy?... But she... wasn't here... it was always you wasn't it?"

"Yes," she said as she could see the embarrassment on his face. "Hey, it's fine, I understand. You were in a lot of pain." 

House looked away, "The medicine isn't working, I keeping going in and out it."

Cuddy sighed, "House it was only once."

House looked at her with guarded eyes, "Yeah."

The way he had looked at her made her believe it might have been more than once, "What are you taking?"

House let his hand fall from her neck and pick up his backpack pulling out the bottle and handing it to her.

She read it and raised an eyebrow, "You actually called her?"

"Hey you're the one that suggested it, and I told you I was," He said defensively.

Cuddy smiled, "You don't always do what you say you will, and medicine like this takes time. House, what did you see last time you were out of it?"

House rolled back, "I never said there was another time."

Cuddy crossed her arms, "You also didn't say there wasn't. Was it here."

House swallowed as he looked at his bedroom door, "I'm thirsty." Cuddy followed his eyes and walked over to the door. "I know you haven't been here long but the kitchen is that way." House said pointing.

"First I'm going to take a peek in here," She said opening the door. Cuddy couldn't believe all the pictures of Amber, from child to adult her awards and accomplishments hung on the wall. Cuddy closed the door and looked over to House who was making sure to look at anything but her. "It was Amber wasn't it."

House glanced at her with worried tired eyes, "It was only clips, and the medicine takes time."

Cuddy walked over putting a hand on his neck and leaned down so her face was close to his, "You've been through enough. Tell him," She said softly.

House breathed in her perfume as his eyes met hers then he put his hand on hers, "Why do you care? I'm just an employee, remember." He said and moved her hand off of him as his eyes became cold.

Cuddy stood back up crossing her arms, "And that was by your own choosing."

House stared her down, "And if I hadn't, what would you have told Mayes?"

Cuddy straightened out her suit, "I still wouldn't have told her because it would be none of her business."

House looked down and took a deep breath, "What if you got pregnant from our last time together? Would you put my name on the birth certificate as the Father?" His eyes were on hers again.

Cuddy's jaw dropped, "How dare you bring up pregnancy after all I went through trying to have a baby," she said with a venomous voice. "And what the hell makes you think I would even want to have your demon child."

The words cut him but he refused to let it show, "Would you list me as the Father on the birth certificate?" he asked with cool eyes.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him, "No, to be honest I'm not even sure I would keep it."

House stared at her for a second as her cruel words hit him harder than he had expected then swallowed, "See, it wouldn't have worked out in the long run."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "You don't even care about kids."

"Well I guess that's good for me since you and Stacy both would just abort my child anyway." He said trying to no completely loose his cool.

"Don't you mean fetus? And I never said I was sure I wouldn't carry it, I said I wasn't sure if I would." Cuddy said defensively.

"But you're sure you wouldn't list me as the Father. Why? Because people would look down on you for even sharing one night with me?" House said letting some of his anger show.

Cuddy looked at him with narrowed eyes, "See that's the problem House, you see a child as something to put you're name on. Not as a part of you!"

"You're the one that doesn't want a child that's part of me!" He said loudly. Cuddy was speechless. "You were going to ask Wilson, and you went to sperm banks all the while I was giving you treatments, but did you ever even consider me? No! Because I'll never be good enough, will I Lisa? And don't you act like you know what I want when you've never asked me if I wanted a child, just like Stacy never asked." House's chest heaved as he breathed so full of angry and hurt.

"Has it ever occurred to you that not everything is about you? I'm not sure I could even handle two children, and..." Cuddy sighed, "I don't think I could handle it if I had another miscarriage."

"Another?" House said with studying eyes.

Cuddy swallowed, "Wilson didn't tell you?" House just stared back. "I got pregnant twice while you were giving me the treatments."

House shook his head, "But, you should have stopped the treatments after you got pregnant and you didn't stop."

Cuddy bit her bottom lip, "Actually I did. Neither of the pregnancies lasted even four weeks. The shots I gave you then where just saline."

House looked confused, "But why wouldn't you have just told me?"

"Because I was afraid I'd fail," she said with watery eyes, "like I did, and that you... you would.."

"Lisa I wouldn't have. I know how much that means to you. You didn't have to go through that alone," He said watching her with caring and honest eyes.

Cuddy wiped a tear that had run down, "I know that now, I knew that the night you came by my house after I lost Joy, but I didn't know that then. I wish you had let me know that you wanted to be a sperm donor, I would have been thrilled. The only reason I didn't ask you was because I was afraid you would turn me down."

House looked her in the eye, "I don't know if it would have worked out, I didn't want to be a sperm donor, I wanted to be the father of your child. I wanted to be the person who gave that to you." Cuddy reached down to touch him and he jerked back. "It's not like it matters now, obviously you never wanted that with me."

Cuddy frowned, "You're right. Then I didn't, then I thought you were a junkie with no conscience that faked the pain for sympathy."

"I never faked it," House all but growled.

Cuddy eyes saddened, "I know... and now I wish more than ever that the pain hadn't been real. What I'm trying to say is that back then that wasn't something I wanted from you, but now... (her hand softly stroked his cheek) now I think I'm ready to give it a shot."

House's face twisted in pain, "We can't... it's too late."

"Yes we can Greg, I'm not saying it would be..." Cuddy started but was cut short by his hands gentle yet intensive grasp on her arm.

House looked at her with sincerity, "No we... I," he stopped and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, "can't."

Cuddy could tell he was struggling with something, "Tell me Greg... just let it out."

House's eyes opened as he looked back up at her and swallowed, "I..." he stopped as he heard the doorknob turn and rolled slightly back from her.

Wilson walked through with a large plastic bag filled with several smaller paper sacks that held pill bottles with instructions stapled to them. He looked up to see House looking slightly relieved and Cuddy's hand floating in front of his face. Wilson raised an eyebrow at her, "Am I interrupting something?" he asked.

Cuddy moved her hand back quickly, "No... we were just talking." As she looked at Wilson her face became worried and confused, "Is all of that for him?

Wilson put the medicine in the kitchen without comment and ruffled around with the bags until he found the one that contained the pain medication. Then he promptly got two pills out and a large glass of water and took them to House.

House took them from him without hesitation crunching the pills.

"Wilson, I asked you a question," She said with an authoritative tone.

Wilson looked back at her with a cold calculated look, "And I didn't respond because it's none of your business."

House sighed, "Can't you two give it a break?"

Both of them looked down at him sitting in the wheelchair looking tired and worn. "You look worse then you did when I left." Wilson now noticed that House's pants where unsnapped all the way to mid thigh. "House... why are your pants undone?"

House looked down then looked up a Cuddy in a pleading way.

Cuddy felt a pang of guilt but knew that it was important to tell Wilson since he was taking care of House, "He stood up and unset his leg but don't worry we got it set right again."

Wilson looked down at House who was now snapping his pants back together with slightly shaky hands. "What the hell goes on it that fucked up mind of yours to make you decided to try and reset a femur bone at home instead of calling an ambulance?" He said loudly

House had to stop just past the knee because his hands were shaking to bad he looked up at the man towering above him, "I don't know sir."

Wilson shook his head and then set on Cuddy, "Why the hell did you help him? You knew that calling the ambulance was the smart choice. God I expected more from you." He said and then was knocked back slightly and looked down to find that House had rolled himself between him and Cuddy.

House's face was set, "This wasn't her fault leave her out of it."

Wilson narrowed his eyes, "First of all it is her fault because she could have stopped you by not helping and second when do you care if I let her carry some of the blame for you?"

House eyes seemed worried but determined, "Fine sir, but let me carry the punishment. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me. Just don't hurt her," he said with a hint of pleading.

Wilson felt chills run up his body as he took a step back and looked up at Cuddy who was looking back at him with worried eyes. He looked back down at House, "House I'm not going to hurt her or you."

House set his jaw, "Of course not, I know punishment isn't about pain but discipline and strength. I never said you hurt us... never I promise, just please let me take the punishment. I deserve it sir."

Wilson's eyes softened, "Greg I'm not your dad."

House frowned slightly, "I know. I can do the math and I don't share your dominate traits. I'm sorry sir."

Wilson took a deep sigh, "Greg look at me... look at me really good. It's Wilson... I'm Wilson."

House looked at him with confusion for a little bit and then uncertainty, shame and embarrassment occupied his features and he looked away. "Dammit."

Wilson swallowed, "It's okay House, we can talk about it if you want too."

"No," He snapped quickly, "I don't want to talk about it." House stared at his hands and tried to calm down. "I need to take a shower, did you get the prescription body wash?"

Wilson walked back into the kitchen and came back with a paper bag. "It has the body wash and the lotion you need to put on after the shower." House took it, tossing it in his lap and then rolled into the restroom. "If you need any help just yell." Wilson said and then House slammed the door shut and locked it.

Wilson sat down with a sigh and rubbed his eyes.

"He doesn't know he's doing it. When he got me to reset his leg he thought I was Stacy." Cuddy said putting a hand on his shoulder.

Wilson looked at her as she sat down across from him. "I know he can't help it... but you get to be his mother or his lover, and I get to be... someone who did god knows what to him." He said looking a little distant as he watched the bathroom door.

"We don't know that his father did anything to him except the one time. Maybe his father wasn't as bad as he acts... you know how when you're young... what your parents do seems worse than when you're an adult." Cuddy said hoping to comfort Wilson but she didn't really believe it.

"I hope so... because if his father put him in ice baths at the age of four because he got too cold, I don't want to know what he would have done to a teenage House that gave him lip." Wilson said looking at her once again.

Cuddy blinked away the images Wilson's words had created. "Um... Wilson, I know you're mad at me but... (Cuddy looked toward the bathroom to make sure House wasn't behind her and then back at him) House mentioned something about seeing clips... of Amber, maybe you could take down some pictures."

Wilson's eyes darkened, "This is her place and I'm not going to _take down_ her pictures unless there is a damn good reason and if _House_ wants me to then he can ask me."

Cuddy look at him irritation, "Why would I lie about that Wilson?"

Wilson clenched his jaw, "Like I said if he has a problem with it he can talk to me about it."

"But you know he wont do that." She said with impatience.

Wilson smiled, "Oh... I get it. You and him have been friends for a what... a couple of weeks now and you think that your friendship some how surpasses the decade we've been friends."

Cuddy's face reddened for two reasons, one she did think that their friendship meant something more than what Wilson obviously thought it meant, and second that he could be so stubborn that he would actually put House's comfort and mental health at risk. "No, you dimwit. He wouldn't tell you because he's thinks you'll shut him out of your life again, like you did when Amber died."

Wilson looked at her for a moment thinking it over, "Everything makes him have episodes right now, he'll get better the longer he's on the medicine."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes, "Yeah it does and every time it freaks him out. Are you really so selfish that you would rather make him suffer more than he has to just so you can hang on to the memory of a woman that's gone."

Wilson swallowed, "If I notice anything I'll talk to him about it and if he wants I'll take them down."

Cuddy nodded feeling that it was honestly more than she thought he'd agree too.

"So what was really going on when I came in?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I was trying to get him to tell why we can't be together." Cuddy said with a frown.

Wilson felt his anger rising but tried to keep it out of his voice, "After what you said today I don't see why it would matter."

"I really do care about him Wilson, even if I don't know if I love him, it doesn't change the fact that I care about him and that we have some kind of attraction." She said softly.

Wilson felt sorry for her but instead tried to hang on to the anger that was fleeting, "I don't see how someone can talk about a person they care about like you did."

Cuddy looked up at him, "You can't really think I meant any of what I said. Wilson... at work he's brilliant and away from work... he's so funny and interesting, and in bed he's.."

"Whoa there Cuddy, I think that's enough. I really don't want to know how kinky it get's in House's bed." Wilson said quickly cutting her off.

Cuddy smiled, "That's exactly it Wilson... it's not like that, he's tender and caring... there's a starving passion in him like no other man I've met."

Wilson frowned, "Cuddy he has his reasons, and it's hurting him a lot alright."

Cuddy pulled her arms around her, "You know what scares me the most. How truly surprised and timid he is when anyone does something nice for him and how little he thinks he deserves. What if he's just stopping this because it was working, because he doesn't think he deserves to be happy."

Wilson could see the fear in her eyes but didn't say anything because it was something he had long wondered.

"Wilson what if he never allows himself to be happy again." Cuddy asked and suddenly she felt weak, "I don't think I can sit back and watch him be miserable the rest of his life."

His resolve broke, "Oh God Cuddy, what they did to him isn't the half of it. I don't know if he'll ever let anyone close to him again, not after this. Young was..." there was a deep cough that interrupted Wilson sentence and he looked to see House sitting in his wheelchair.

"Oh don't let me stop you, this is where it starts to get interesting." House said in his baritone voice with blood shot eyes and a plaid rode tied around him.

Wilson felt his heart beating heavily against his chest knowing he had been caught but then took in how House looked. He's face was belligerent but behind that was pain and fatigue, his body draped the chair in a comfortable way but each muscle was taught with tension and scares peeked out from behind the robe while fresh white bandaging stood out. "I swear you are the quietest cripple I know."

House would have smirked at the statement if he had the energy, but right now all of his energy was being put into not shaking and screaming from the sheer pain. "So tell me, if she managed to squeeze out a tear would you suddenly feel right about telling her about my super secret Swiss bank account?"

Wilson blinked, "I... uh... you don't have any Swiss bank accounts."

"Not that you know of," House responded, then looked at Cuddy. "Go ahead Wilson tell her."

Cuddy glanced between the two of them stopping on Wilson.

Wilson swallowed, "House if you want her to know then you should tell her."

House grimaced as the pain only increased but tried to pass it off as a snarl, "Wow, what a concept. Let's say for once I agree with you, what would her still not knowing indicate Jimmy boy."

Wilson could tell House was in physical pain but knew it wasn't something House would want mentioned in front of Cuddy. "That you don't want her to know," he said flatly

House closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he felt sweat on his forehead from the pain. When he opened his eyes he gritted his teeth, "See, I knew you were smart enough to figure it out." He said and then wheeled into the kitchen and started gathering up all of his medications and putting them back in the large plastic sack when one of the paper sack fell on the floor. House glared at it. Today had been long and taxing, the things Cuddy had said hurt, the steps had hurt, then he had be shown the Amber shrine that was his room, he had hurt Wilson, the spasms, the vomiting, Wilson was going to betray his trust, and now the pills he'd dropped. He jerked hard then blinked and the pills were gone.

"House?" Cuddy said for the fifth time and his eyes moved up finally meeting hers. "You alright?" She asked with a frown holding out the paper sack to him.

"I'm just tired," He said and took the pills then rolled to his room, closing the door.

Cuddy sighed, "I need to get going." She gathered her stuff and stopped in front of Wilson, "Call me if you need any help, or just to talk." Cuddy said then gave him a smile and left.

Wilson locked the door behind her and started cleaning up the place, all the while thinking about how the day had gone and how to make it better tomorrow.


	43. Chapter 43: Sweet Dreams

_House was giving Cuddy her injections for her fertility treatments._

"_Are you done back there?" Cuddy asked over her should with a hint of frustration._

_House looked at his hands one cupping her left butt cheek while the other one still held the syringe that was in her. "Why me?" He asked staring at the red thong._

_Cuddy look back over her shoulder with a frown, "Because you figured it out and I didn't want anyone else to know, but if you don't want to do this anymore then that's fine House."_

_House bit his lip, "I was just wondering if that was the only reason."_

_Cuddy smiled, "What other reason do you think I have."_

_House pulled out the needle and laid it on a table behind him then held a piece of cotton to the spot firmly. "You're trying to have a baby, I'm a man. A man that you've had sex with before." He said and then swallowed._

_Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "That was a long time ago House."_

_House sighed, "Yeah, you're right," and threw the cotton away and started to back up. Cuddy backed up against him, her almost bare ass pushing against the front of his pants. House let a gasp escape his lips as his hands held her hips against him._

_Cuddy started to pull away when she felt him holding on and looked back to see his eyes dark with lust._

"_Tell me what you want from me," He said as he pushed himself slight against her._

_Cuddy was turned on but was afraid of what it would turn into. "I know you House, if I said I wanted you to try and get me pregnant you would announce it to the whole hospital and would blackmail me with it the first time I turned you down for a procedure."_

_House pushed against her again, "So you do want me, you're just afraid that the benefits don't out-way the consequences." He looked back down at her ass in that thong and swallowed, "Fine I tell know one, and I promise not to blackmail you with this ever."_

_Cuddy almost gasped herself from how good it felt. "House this could get complicated."_

_House let his hand run across her thong feeling how wet she was, "Then don't make it complicated." He said licking his lips and slipped a finger under the panties and rubbed her wet slit._

"_Oh... House," Cuddy said as she felt him tug the panties down._

"_Here, like this, it's Greg," He said and threw the small piece of fabric out of the way._

_Cuddy bit her lip, "Is the door locked?" She asked turning around to face him._

"_Yes," He said pushing her up on the desk she had been leaned over. He started to kiss her and she moved her head quickly._

"_House, this is just sex to get pregnant. I think it would be better if we don't kiss," Cuddy said watching him._

_House frowned, "Fine I get it. I'm just a replacement for you're turkey baster, but call me Greg." Cuddy blinked, as she looked at him. He looked like it had really hurt his feeling. "When you say no kissing... is that just the mouth or... everything?" He asked as he rubbed against her again._

_Cuddy looked at his parted lips and wanted to feel them against her neck and tits. "Um... just the lips." As soon as she said it his lips were on her neck nibbling and sucking. "And... no visible marks... or tearing of cloths."_

_House growled his disapproval of the commands against her neck making her arch into him, but didn't stop his work. _

_Cuddy looked down to see her shirt had already been unbuttoned and her bra was hanging loosely as House continued to kiss her flesh and rub against her still fully clothed. Not one to be out done she pushed off his over shirt and let her hands roam under his tee-shirt feeling his tight muscles underneath. _

_House pulled her hands back so that he could take off the bra and then pulled his shirt off. He then took a hard nipple in his mouth._

"_Mmm... House," Cuddy purred as his tongue flicked her nipple, then suddenly she felt the chill of the air and looked to see him looking at her with a serious expression._

"_I told you to call me Greg, this isn't work, I'm not an employee here." He said watching her._

_Cuddy could tell he was serious and that he wasn't going to budge, "Okay... Greg." She said thinking about how if felt to say, and it didn't feel as bad or as awkward as she had thought it would. He nodded his approval and started back on her breast. Cuddy felt downward and unbuttoned his fly and unzipped his pants. She bit her lip hard when she felt his hard erection through his underwear. She started pulling his pants down when suddenly he stopped and pulled back from her holding his pant's up._

_She looked at him with frustration, "What is it now?" She asked and noticed the vulnerability in his eyes._

_He looked up at the ceiling to avoid her eyes piercing through him, "I... don't want... to take off my pants."_

_Cuddy scoffed, "And why the hell not?"_

_House looked at her with regretful eyes and then looked down. Cuddy was about to get mad until she noticed his hand rubbing the ruined part of his right thigh through the pants. She looked back up at him with sadness as she realized he didn't want her to see his leg. "It's okay Greg, I've already seen it."_

_House closed his eyes still refusing to look at her, "It's not okay to me... please Lisa." He said all in a low whisper._

_Cuddy felt her heart warm towards the man before her and she gently grabbed his hands pulling him towards her and started kissing his neck, "Okay Greg, you can leave them on." She whispered back and started kissing his neck harder. She could feel his pulse began to race, and soon his hands where on her legs pulling her skirt up around her waist while his other hand started rubbing her clit. Cuddy's head fell back and a moan filled the air while her hand found his hard cock and rubbed it against her opening and the other hand wrapped around his shoulder and neck for support._

_House moved his mouth back to the crook of her neck as he panted with want and need. He could feel her putting the tip of his penis at her hot wet opening and started to slowly rock his hips forward to press harder against it._

"_God... Greg... quit torturing me..." Cuddy said as her she was now panting with want. And then he pressed hard finally slipping in a little and she felt herself stretch to the point of pain. "Aaahhh"_

_House stopped looking at her, "Are you okay?" He asked as one hand cradled her face._

"_Greg, I... almost forgot... how big you are. Take it slow... okay?" Cuddy said softly._

_House nodded and didn't move for a minute then he softly pulled in and out letting her take him slowly. Cuddy swallowed at the tenderness he was showing her and looked down licking her lips at the size of his thick long penis barely penetrating her. She bit her lip and looked back up to see his eyes on hers filled with care and lust. "Oh God... Lisa... you feel so good." House said through pants._

_Cuddy pulled his head close and their foreheads rested against one another as he was working his way deeper. They would look down and back up at each other and Cuddy would let small moans of pleasure fill the room_

"_Are you okay, I don't want to hurt you," House said softly his lips only a whisper from hers._

_Cuddy wanted to kiss him so bad she forgot her self in the pleasure of him and pulled his lips to hers. The kiss was passionate and sloppy on both parts but it was so good she could feel herself about to orgasm from it and his now quickening pace. She pulled him closer as her lips were fast on his and then she grunted as her nails dug in and her legs shook from the force of the orgasm. _

_House bit his lip hard when she pulled away for air and stayed still as he could still feel her sweet pussy pulsing around his cock. He ran his hands through her hair and kissed her red cheek. "Christ Lisa... you're so good."_

_Cuddy smiled looking at him and let one hand cup his balls and give them a squeeze. Which made him lurch towards her again and he started pumping himself in her slowly again until he was all the way in._

"_Lisa... turn around... or its just going to run out," He breathed against her ear. Cuddy lifted one of her tone legs and in one quick motion went from sitting on her ass to laying on her stomach and House's right hand stayed on her butt making sure she didn't move and the left hand cupped her breast playing with the nipple as his head was bent his forehead against the back of her neck and his hot breath between her shoulder blades. House started pumping in her hard with purpose grunting when his balls would slap against her. After about three minutes at the pace he could tell he was about to loose it as his cock swelled._

"_Oh god yes Greg... that's it cum in me baby." Cuddy whispered loudly and he lost it cumming into her harder than he ever had._

"_FUCK... oh... ummmm..." He said as he closed his eyes and kept cumming for several seconds. He was so exhausted that he just let his body rest on her for a minute or two still with his eyes closed._

His bliss was ruined as pain started in his leg and only increased. House opened his eyes to see a pillow beneath his head. Just as disappointment started to flood him, the pain in his legs and the rest of his body reared it's ugly head causing him to grit his teeth. He felt suffocatingly hot as sweat dripped down his forehead. He tried to move so that the pain might lessen and then a slight confusion and the grimace of the realization hit. It hadn't just been a dream... it had been a wet dream. House rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling for a moment trying to muster the strength to get up. When he finally managed to sit up he grunted and then looked at the wheelchair taking a deep breath. He stood up and then his legs buckled from the pain. "God Dammit!" He said loudly as he hung on to the wheelchair and pulled himself back up in it. House looked to see that the clock showed 5:07 and started rolling toward the door when it opened.

"House? You alright?" Wilson said in a slight panic.

House let out a shaky breath from being startled and then rolled his eyes, "Yes, now go back to sleep."

Wilson turned on the light blinding him, "What was that noise?"

House now could see all of the Amber faces staring at him and looked up at Wilson, "It's fine, just tripped getting in the wheelchair, now go."

Wilson didn't move, "Let me check you out first, the burns can tear easily."

"I said I'm fine," House said.

Wilson frowned, "Don't make me lock the wheels on you're wheelchair."

House frowned, "Fine, but I need to go to the bathroom first."

"What time is it?" Wilson said then looked at the clock, "What are you doing up before dawn?"

House looked to see there was no way to roll around him, "Hopefully going to the bathroom." House started to roll out of the room as Wilson walked in and then looked over his shoulder to see Wilson looking around the room. "You planning on searching my room while I'm gone?"

"No just thought I would make the bed," He said as he stretched.

"You don't need to make the bed. I can make the bed," House said with aggravation.

Wilson turned toward the bed, "Oh it's no trouble, just go on."

House wheeled back in quickly and grabbed Wilson's sleep shirt, "No, stop."

Wilson stopped and blinked at House's hand gripping the sleeve of his pajama top, "Why not?"

House let go and scraped his teeth against his lips as he tried to find the least embarrassing way to tell Wilson, "I had a good dream." He said watching Wilson hoping he would get it.

Wilson blinked in confusion, "Okay... and you want to talk about it?"

House sigh with disappointment and started thinking again when it hit him and he smiled awkwardly, "Think 14 year old boy good dream."

Wilson took a second and then his eyebrows shot up, "Oh... um, you want me to change the sheets?"

"No, I'll pull them off after I get cleaned up, just don't touch anything okay." House said getting ready to start out again.

Wilson looked around and his eyes stopped on the bag of prescriptions, "Mind if I go through and get out your morning meds?"

House looked over at the pills and sighed, "Have at it," he said grabbing his robe and starting out the door.

"I'll have them in the kitchen with a cup of coffee waiting, alright?" Wilson said loudly.

"Great," House yelled right before shutting the bathroom door. Thirty minutes later House emerged from the bathroom with his robe on and rolled to his room, coming out shortly with a pair of black running pants and a ACDC shirt. He rolled up to the table and saw a hot cup of coffee with sugar and cream near and a large plain white box. House opened the box and smiled at all the donuts, then glanced over at Wilson, "Mmm Donuts," he said in his best Homer Simpson voice.

Wilson smiled, "Well a lot of the medications say to eat something with them. Wouldn't want to go against doctors orders now, would we."

House smiled back slightly then looked back down at the donuts. He was starving, but the pain from the shower already had him feeling nauseous, "I'll have one later, where are my medications?"

Wilson frowned, "House you need to eat with your medications."

House licked his lips and stared at the table, "I'm going to throw up anything I eat right now, the pain has to go down some first."

"Alright, then take this first with a cup of coffee and then you can take the other with some food," Wilson said handing House two oxycodone pills.

House looked the pills over some with a thoughtful expression then sighed and threw them in his mouth and swallowed. Then he started making his cup of coffee.

Wilson smiled, "So, who was she?"

House glanced at Wilson with confusion and then it hit him. "Does it matter?"

Wilson shrugged, "Not really it's just, well it's been I while since I had a dream that intense. I was just wondering who was that good."

House smirked as he took a long sip of the coffee and then frowned, "God, this is weak... I thought you said you make coffee not tea. Anyways, I guess it'll do. Tell you what if you guess it in three guesses I'll let you decided dinner."

Wilson thought about it and nodded, "Fine... Pamela Anderson,... Eva Longora? Who is Megan Fox." House shook his head and Wilson looked in thought, "Just tell me it wasn't Cuddy."

House gave a big smile, "It wasn't Cuddy."

Wilson narrowed his eyes and then sighed, "It was Cuddy, wasn't it."

House pretended to look confused, "I thought you just told me to say it wasn't Cuddy."

Wilson looked at House with disapproval, "House you broke it off with her. You have to let this go."

House had an air of dismissal, "It was a dream, not real, and it was just sex."

Wilson looked at House with skepticism, "So you're telling me that in the dream it wasn't emotional. No kissing, no talking, just you and her doing the deed?"

House looked down, "It was a dream, that's all."

"Right... it meant nothing, because you have wet dreams all the time." Wilson said then took a sip of his coffee.

House glanced at Wilson with a knowing and worried look then back down, "So, just tell me, is this from the reasonable friend who doesn't want to see me hurt, or the new leader of the anti-Cuddy revolution."

Wilson thought for a second, "I'm not going to pretend I'm okay with what she said about you, but if you really loved her and told her what was going on, then I'd support you in you're effort."

House looked up at him and nodded then took another long drink of the coffee.

Wilson could feel the tension in the air and decided to let go of the topic, "So, you ready for that doughnut and the rest of your pills?"

House shrugged, "Might as well give it a try I only feel mildly nauseous now."

The rest of the day pass with ease for the most part Wilson was cautious not to touch him and to remind him of when to take his medication. He got in a portable ramp to put on his stairs for the entrance of his apartment so that when House did have to leave he wouldn't have to stand again. For dinner House got Wilson to pick up to go orders at Sonny's BBQ which Wilson didn't mind to much since the dessert was banana pudding. House stripped the bed and put on fresh sheet which took a while because he refused Wilson's attempts to help and then went to bed around nine. Wilson was surprised the day had gone so smooth, yes there had been some times when House got aggravated, but it had gone a lot better than Wilson thought it would.


	44. Chapter 44: A Haunted House?

Wilson woke up around three to go to the restroom and could hear some noise coming from House's room. He stopped at the door and put his ear against it to hear better.

"No... look at me... I'll take care of you." House mumbled.

Wilson opened the door slowly to see House tangled in the covers and sweat running down his head.

"Just stay with me." House panted and tangled up more.

Wilson frowned, "House," he said loudly and continued to say getting a little louder each time until House finally opened his eyes and jumped up as he breathed heavily.

He looked to Wilson with distraught, "It's Amber we have to save her."

Wilson swallowed, "House, it's okay."

"No... no... I can't be the reason. I'll save her... I have to save her." House said with panic as he started to try and get out of the bed.

"House, she's dead." Wilson said with worry.

"No..." House said shaking his head and tried to stand and fell to his hands and knees. Wilson watched as House lowered he's head and shook it. "No... I should have... you'll hate me," House said still looking down.

Wilson felt guilty for how he treated House after the DBS and for leaving the pictures up. "I can't hate you House, you're my best friend."

House sat down pulling his legs to lay out in front of him, "It should have been me, I'm sorry."

Wilson looked down at House and could see true remorse then sighed, "Well I'm not. I wish I could have you both, but if I had to choose... it would be you."

House looked up at him with confusion, "But... you loved her."

Wilson nodded, "Yeah, and I love you too, not in the same way, but I do love you House. She wouldn't have done the DPS for me, not to save you, not for anyone. You didn't even question it, which say's you're absolutely nuts... and that you love me too. I'm sorry I hurt you House."

House grabbed a hold of mattress and pulled himself up, "Don't get to soft on me Wilson." He said and let out a sigh when he was finally sitting back on the bed.

Wilson opened the pill bottle and handed a oxycodone to House, "Here," he said.

House took the pill and looked at Wilson, "Thanks," he said holding his eyes for a moment longer than was need and popped the pill in his mouth.

Wilson knew House wasn't just thanking him for the pill and smiled, "You're welcome, you going back to sleep?"

House nodded as he laid back down on the bed and pulled the covers over him. Wilson pulled the door closed and decided it was time to box up some of Amber's stuff. The day went by alright except Wilson noticed House staring off into space more than usual and he seemed a little more on edge. Wilson figured it had a lot to do with him packing up Amber's stuff even thought House kept saying that he was okay with it. House went to bed right after dinner at fifteen past seven. Wilson hoped he would sleep well through the night.

Wilson was in his bedroom finally getting ready to lay down when he heard House scream, "STOP!" Wilson ran into House's room and turned on the light House was breathing heavy and his clothes, covers, and body was covered in sweat.

"NO! STOP... I CAN'T... I CAN'T TAKE... ANYMORE!" House screamed so loud Wilson jumped back.

Wilson started yelling his name but it didn't work. House started screaming again and Wilson grabbed a hold of his shoulders and started shaking him.

House opened his eyes, "Please sir don't."

Wilson licked his lips, "House you okay?" he said and looked him over to notice his whole body was shaking.

House took a few more deep breaths, "I'm sorry I'm weak... I'll try harder. I'm ready, sir, when you are." He said with a set jaw.

"House, I'm your friend," Wilson said as he let go of House.

House shook his head, "I'm not allowed friends sir. Go a head, I'm ready now, I can take it."

Wilson felt sick, "No... I'm not going to hurt you."

House looked heartbroken as his lip shook, "But.. I promise... I can take it. I want to be a good solider. Please dad... I mean Coronal, don't give up on me. I can do this."

Wilson had to look away from House as he realized how John House had gotten his son to take the punishment.

House started hitting himself with force and Wilson turned back and grabbed his wrists, "No... stop."

House looked up at him with watered eyes, "Daddy please... I'm so sorry."

Wilson let go and grabbed the glass of water House had beside the bed and splashed it on him. House gasped and started blinking as he looked around the bed and the room then at Wilson.

"House... um, are you... okay?" Wilson asked barely keeping his composure.

House looked in Wilson's eyes and he could tell he had said too much in the dream and looked away, "Yeah," he said and laid down turning away from Wilson.

Wilson could literally feel his heart aching in his chest, "House... you can talk to me."

House closed his eyes tight, "There's nothing to talk about." Wilson stood there unable to move for several minutes and House sighed, "It's kind of creepy having a man watch me while I sleep, so could you just go and get the light while you're at it."

Wilson nodded as he turned off the light and walked out closing the door. He heard House curse and grab his pills up and decided to leave before House found him there. Wilson went to his room and a couple of tears fell which he quickly wiped away. He felt bad for what had happened to House and for feeling relieved when House didn't want to talk about it. He would have let House talk if he had wanted to, but deep down a part of him didn't want to know what House's father did to him, and the guilt he felt about that made him sick. After he had calmed down some he looked at the clock to see it was almost 2 and decided to call Cuddy. If he didn't talk to someone about this it was going to eat him alive.

Cuddy woke up quickly and looked around to see it was her phone ringing instead of the baby crying and grabbed the phone with irritation, "Hello?" She said her voice carrying her mood.

Wilson bit his lip as he wondered if he had made the right decision, "I'm sorry, it's late, this can wait."

Cuddy frowned as she heard the shake of his voice, "Wilson, is everything alright?"

Wilson's lips shook, "I'm a bad person Cuddy. I'm a horrible friend."

That made Cuddy sit up straight, "Wilson what happened."

Wilson looked at his door and whispered, "He keeps waking up because of these dreams, the first night wasn't to bad, the second night was worse... and it was about Amber. I took down all the pictures except for the ones in my room."

Cuddy could tell Wilson hadn't told her the real reason he had called yet, "And what was it tonight?"

Wilson shook his head, "His father... he never said exactly what was being done to him, but I've never heard him scream that loud." Wilson stopped to get his breath for a moment, "I wish his father was still alive so I could be the one to kill him Cuddy. When I woke him up he... thought I was his father. He apologized to me for asking him to stop and then said he was ready now and for me to continue."

Cuddy felt cold, "Tell me you didn't," she asked with worry.

"No... I told him I wouldn't hurt him... and then he started begging me to. He said not to give up on him and that he wanted to be a good solider. I still refused and he started hitting himself so I restrained him and he started begging me again and saying he was sorry." Wilson whispered.

Cuddy felt eerie and got up, "What did you do?" She asked softly as she opened the nursery's door and looked in the crib to make sure Rachel was okay.

Wilson scoffed, "I didn't know what else to do so I grabbed his glass of water and splashed it on him."

Cuddy swallowed and walked back into her room, "Did it work?" She asked wrapping a blanket around her.

"Yeah, I asked if he was okay. He said yeah and laid back down facing away from me. I told him he could talk to me and he said that there was nothing to talk about." Wilson swallowed, "Cuddy I was relieved... I... don't think I wanted to know. I don't know if I ever want to know." Wilson's voice had become more shaky and he looked at his hands to notice that they were shaking too, "The way he screamed... I've heard House get loud... but it was worse than that it sounded like he... he was being beaten to death. God, what kind of person am I. I should have pushed harder. I should want to know... shouldn't I?"

Cuddy shivered, "Wilson you did the right thing. Pushing him harder would have only made him angry at you. There isn't anything you can do, what's been done... has been done." She sighed and pulled the blanket tighter, "If he wanted to talk about it would you have listened?"

Wilson thought about it for a second, "Yeah, if he wanted me too I would try, but I'm afraid if it was too graphic I couldn't have listened long. It's hard enough hearing something like that from a stranger, but your best friend... someone like House, and when he was a kid." He shook his head.

Cuddy felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it, "I know what you mean."

"I'm not sure if I knew I could ever really look at him the same." Wilson said now calming down some.

Cuddy closed her eyes, "It's going to be hard enough just hearing about this to try and act normal.

Wilson started to think about her words, "Cuddy you can't tell him I told you about this... ever."

"I know, I wouldn't. Maybe you could get him to talk to his therapist about some of this. Call her tell her what happened." She said hopeful.

Wilson thought about it, "You know that might actually work. I wouldn't even have to tell her what happened just point her in the direction to ask more about his childhood and his father, but it's going to be hard convincing him to go."

Cuddy raised and eyebrow, "I've learned with House it's a lot easier to get him to agree if he doesn't know that's what you want."

Wilson stared blankly, "And how do you suppose I do that?"

Cuddy sat there thinking for a minute, "First thing to do is ignore the whole thing. Pretend it never happened. Over the day that will drive him nuts, because he'll know it's on your mind. Then when he does bring it up tell him you would like for him to talk to you about it instead of a therapist. See, that will get him to thinking about the therapist and how it would be easier to tell a stranger than you. Then push a little, keep telling him about how concerned you are the medicine isn't working."

"I'm not sure the medicine in working." Wilson said flatly.

"Good then it'll be convincing, then he'll start to get anxious and will ask you to take him to the therapist. At that point you act proud of him, but disappointed he'd rather open up to someone else." Cuddy said biting her lip hoping it would work.

Wilson nodded, "That's great, but what if he decides he does want to tell me?"

Cuddy frowned, "Then you listen. Wilson he was willing to risk his life to save Amber, if he needs you to listen, then you have to, you owe him that."

Wilson swallowed, "His father made him take the punishments by pretending it was all designed to make him prepared for being a solider. He was convinced his father was looking out for him... that his father loved him."

Cuddy closed her eyes again, "Well by the way he acted about the funeral he learned different as he got older."

Wilson was silent for a little bit then coughed, "I'm sorry I've been acting like an ass. I know you don't think that way about House, I'm just a little defensive of him right now. Thanks for talking to me."

Cuddy smiled slightly, "A little?" She said playfully, "It's okay, I get it. Call me when ever you need."

Wilson looked a the time and sighed, "Thanks again, I'll let you know what happens, but it's late and we should both be in bed. Talk to you later."

"Goodnight Wilson," Cuddy said.

"Goodnight," Wilson replied and hung up the phone.

The next day House didn't come out of his room till late. Wilson noted that he didn't look like he had just woken up, but as if he hadn't slept at all. His eyes were sunken in, his fist bore fresh bruises from the force he had hit himself with and he seemed on edge as he shook slightly. Wilson realized the hardest part of Cuddy's plan was going to be acting as if nothing was wrong. House rolled past the table where Wilson was paying bills and into the kitchen and started rummaging around. A couple of minutes past and House rolled back out with his morning medications, some old donuts, and a cup of coffee.

"Good morning, I was beginning to wonder if you were going to join the world today," Wilson said looking over his glasses and then back at the mail.

House didn't respond instead he put everything on the table and took his medications. Wilson concentrated on the bills and mail. It helped keep his mind occupied for most of an hour and when he finally stood up and realized House was still at the table staring at his donuts he got worried. Wilson wasn't sure of what he should do, "House?" he said softly. House didn't even blink. Wilson sighed and walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

House jerked away, "Don't' touch me," he said in a loud whisper. His hands were shaking hard and he closed his eyes. "Wilson it's getting worse, just take me home."

Wilson had removed his hand the moment House had jerked and walked around the table to face him. "I'm not taking you home like this, but I think it would be good if you talked to Dr. Ryan about a different medication."

House slammed his hands against the table. "I'm not safe to be around take me home," he demanded.

Wilson sat down and propped his elbow on the table. His heart was racing, "You need to talk to me about this House. Tell me what you wanted to tell me on the way to your father's funeral."

House narrowed his eyes, "It was just a dream."

"What you wanted to tell on the way to your father's funeral was about a dream? Tell me why you hated your father, did it have something to do with last nights dream," Wilson said with concerned eyes.

House's shaking calmed some then leaned over the table with dark eyes, "I've already told you once, don't act like you know what my family was like."

Wilson's mouth twitched nervously, "I'm not acting like I know your family, I'm asking for you to tell me about them."

House sized Wilson up then narrowed his eyes and smiled slightly, "No you aren't. You don't want to know any of it."

Wilson swallowed as the temperature seemed to rise, then rolled his shoulder, "What?" He shook his head, "No, I... I mean.."

House smirked, "Oh... this is way beyond your level." He laughed for a minute at Wilson's face and then it faded as a thought hit him. "It's WAY beyond your level... more like Cuddy level."


	45. Chapter 45: sMothering

Wilson raised his eyebrow and was about to speak when there was a knock on the door. They both looked at the door in surprise. Wilson got up and opened the door, expecting it to be someone who had got the wrong address but instead there stood, House's mother. "Um... hello, this is a pleasant surprise. Can I help you?"

Mrs. House smiled, "I'm doing fine Dr. Wilson. I stopped by Greg's place but there was crime scene tape up. Would you know anything about that?" She said with worried eyes.

Wilson felt bad not telling her but knew House would kill him if he did, "Yes, but that's something you should ask your son about."

Mrs. House nodded, "You're probably right, can I come in and talk to him?"

Wilson wondered how she knew House was staying with him but nodded, "Um... yeah, of course." He said moving out of the way so she could come in.

House was pretty sure he already knew who was on the other side of the door by the voice but was still surprised when he actually saw his mother come in. "Dammit Wilson, you called my mother?"

Mrs. House raised an eyebrow, "He did no such thing, although he should have." She said looking at Wilson with a pensive stare, then she looked back at her son, "We had plans to go to the museum and then have din..." She had been walking toward him and stopped when she could see all of the scars that were on his face and the deep one that ran around his neck. "Dear sweet Jesus," she said and blinked, "Greg, what happened to you baby."

Seeing the worry in his mothers eyes made him feel guilty but he tried his best to smile, "Don't worry mom, I'm fine."

Blythe frowned as she walked closer to him seeing all the damage, "Baby who did this to you?"

House took a couple of deep breaths, he had heard her ask the same question millions of times, "It doesn't matter, all that matter's is that I'm okay and you're here, I'm glad to see you."

Blythe looked back at Wilson who was still standing by the closed door, "I hope you won't find it terribly rude if I ask you to give us some privacy."

Wilson shook his head, "No, of course not Mrs. House," he said and then quickly escaped to his room.

Blythe looked back at her son with disappointment, over the years she couldn't count the times she'd seen her little boy hurt and every time she'd asked it had always been the same reply and it hurt her to know he didn't trust her, "I had hoped that we could be closer Greg now that your father is dead. That you wouldn't find it necessary to keep lying to me." She was a strong woman but her eyes watered, "I love you so much Greg, I'm your mother and no matter what you tell me I'll always love you. Please for once trust me and just be honest." She said as she sat down in the seat that Wilson had been sitting in and reached a hand out on the table towards him.

Her words had floored him and he felt a pain in his soul he'd tried for so long to ignore, "You knew," he said in a breathless statement.

Blythe felt the same old pain in her chest, one that had haunted her far too long, "I do now, it had only been a strong suspicion before. Greg... I'm so sorry. When you were little I just thought you were accident prone, you were always so adventurous. But as you got older and stopped talking to me I would catch glimpses of bruises or John would bring from the Hospital, I began to think it was something else. At first I thought it was my fault and that you were unhappy and were intentionally hurting yourself because of how the boys in class treated you and for not giving you a real home since we moved so much. Then I asked John to let me take you to someone that could talk to you and find out what was going on, and he got furious. I was naive, it wasn't till he said he'd found you in the woods and you were in shock in the hospital, when the doctors told me all the trauma that had been done to you, it reminded me of a story John had told me about a POW. I asked him if had done that to you and he swore he didn't, and I told him if I ever saw him lay a hand on you I would kill him myself. He couldn't look me in the eye for a week." Blythe looked away as tears flowed and she tried to wipe them away, "He never so much as lifted a hand towards me, and if I'd know... if you'd just told me sweetie I would have gotten us away from him one way or the other."

House hated seeing his mother cry and felt a strong regret for closing himself off from his mother and not telling her what had been going on for so long. The pain he saw in her eyes mirrored that, that he'd pushed down and tried to forget long ago, "Please Mom, don't cry. I'm sorry this is my fault. I should have told you, or if I had been less difficult maybe it wouldn't have happened."

Blythe grabbed her son's hand which he promptly pull away from her looking away. She was taken back by Greg's actions at first until she noticed the shaking in his hands. Being a military wife she'd seen PTSD too many times not to know what it was. The shame she saw on his face hurt her deeply because it meant he was blaming himself for what had happened to him now, just like he did about what his father had done to him, "Sweetie it wasn't your fault, it was never your fault. We can't blame ourselves for his mistakes. I know how hard it is Greg, that's the reason I didn't talk to you much after the funeral and didn't stop by sooner. I wanted to but I knew this conversation was way over do and I was fairly certain after that speech... that I knew the answer. I felt so guilty I didn't want to ask but then I talked to a preacher and he told me that John's mistakes weren't anyone's but his to bare, and he was right Greg. Baby look at me, and tell me what happened to you?"

House pushed himself to look at her and tried but his mouth just closed again. He knew it would hurt his mother to hear what had been done to him and sighed, "I... can't. I'm sorry, but I... just can't."

Blythe's mouth hung dry because she knew her son was a strong man and that if he couldn't tell her it must have been really bad, "Oh sweetie, what did they do to my baby."

House looked down shaking his head, "I'm so sorry mom, I tried... I tried to stop them.. but.."

Blythe got up and walked over to her son softly putting and hand on his back and rubbed circles, "It's okay, you don't have anything to apologize for." She looked down and for the first time realized he was in a wheelchair. She felt her heart break but made herself stand strong for him.

House didn't push her away, he needed that bit of comfort for so long now. He let her continue for a couple of minutes and then he called out Wilson's name loudly. Blythe stopped and looked at her son with a puzzled expression. He gave a small smile back and when Wilson appeared he looked shaken.

"Is everything alright?" Wilson asked looking between the two of them, noticing that it looked like Blythe had been crying and that House even looked emotional.

House nodded, "Everything is fine. I was wondering if you still happened to have the official police report of what happened."

Wilson blinked surprised by the question, "Um... yeah."

House took a second to think about what he was going to do and then let out a deep breath, "It just mentions what happened right?" He said giving Wilson a look that spoke volumes.

Wilson knew what he was really asking was, 'It doesn't mention the HIV, does it?' He shook his head, "It only say's what happened."

House felt a slight relief, then decided he owed it to her to let her know what had happened. He wouldn't tell her about the HIV until he was sure, but he wasn't going to hide anything like this from her anymore, he licked his lips, "My mom would like to read it."

Wilson couldn't believe what House was saying. He looked back to the little sweet woman that was House's mother and shook his head, "House... Mrs. House, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I've never been able to get completely through it myself and he's my friend not my child."

Blythe looked him square in the eyes, "I understand your reservations about me reading it Wilson and I appreciate you thinking about me, but I need to know what happened to my son. So if you would please be so kind as to get it for me."

Wilson could tell she wasn't going to change her mind, she had the same determined look that Wilson had gotten so use to seeing on her son's face. He got it from a folder he had in the filing cabinet by the computer and handed it to her.

Blythe opened it and started reading she grimaced but didn't stop and when she was finished she laid it down and let out a sad but relieved sigh. She looked to House, "Not the worse that's happened to my poor baby. I was afraid it was going to be worse than the reports from when you were doing your spy missions with the Marines. I still can't believe you agreed to that."

House's face paled in horror as he remembered giving those very detailed and graphic reports and the idea that his mother had read them made him feel sick, "You read those."

Blythe nodded, "Yes, your father and I both did. You stopped coming home and I was so worried about you. You were a strong boy, but you were so young."

Wilson stood there listening unable to leave, what House had told him was true.

House looked down at the table, he was between infuriated and embarrassed, "Which ones?"

Blythe wasn't going to lie to her son she knew that would only drive a bigger wedge between them. "All of them since your second year in the Marines. I wanted to call you,but the things I read... just the thought of it almost drove me crazy. I didn't see how you could be okay but I kept hearing that you were and knew if I talked to you I wouldn't be able to stop myself from talking to you about it, and I thought that that would only make things worse so I didn't. Your father kept telling me that you were stronger than I knew and that you would be okay."

House looked at her with anger, "He wasn't my father."

Blythe looked confused for a minute and the absolution in Greg's eyes let made it very clear that he knew the secret she'd been hiding, "No, you're right he wasn't your biological father, but for all practical purposes he was your father. He raised you, however misguided his actions were. How did you find out?"

"Blood test," House replied, "Why did you lie to me?"

"Your biological father... was another officers boy." Blythe said looking down.

"No, it was Pete. I know it was him we share a birth mark." House said with confidence.

Blythe looked up at her son, "You're part right, but it wasn't him, it was his 15 year old son. He... wasn't all there. He use to watch me through the window all the time, but I never thought too much of it and then one day." She took a breath, "He broke in when I was asleep and your father was on a mission. He was so strong... I remember thinking that. I don't think he fully knew what he was doing, because while... he kept trying to kiss me and say it would be okay, that he loved me so it was okay. I'd only been married for a couple of months."

Wilson felt his heart break for the strong woman before him, she's said it all without a single tear. He took a breath as he thought about how horrible it would be to find out that you were a product of rape and looked at House who looked like he was about to be sick.

"I was... he raped you." House took a heavy breath, "Why would you keep me?"

Blythe laid her hand near his, "Honey it wasn't your fault. When the doctor told me I was pregnant even thought the conception made me ill to think of, the idea of a baby boy warmed my heart. You made me strong, you're the reason I made it through it. I was a wreck until you were born, and then I held you in my arms and you had the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. All the hatred and injustice faded, because I loved you so much. I actual felt sorry for the boy because he would never get to see how handsome or how bright you are. I've always believed even in the worst of time there is a reason for what happens, and you were the reason Greg. My beautiful baby boy, you are the reason I could forgive."

House's jaw was set in anger as he thought about someone hurting his mother the way that this person had, "What happened to him?"

Blythe shrugged, "They wanted to hang him, but I asked that they send him to a hospital. I knew his parents and couldn't bare to put them through that, and he had always been known to be off. They agreed and we all stayed friends. He died, in 1970 at the age of 26. It crushed his parents and his father retired and then we never really heard from them again."

House sighed uncomfortably and looked around noticing Wilson. "Did you still want to go to the museum?"

Blythe smiled, "Dear, I really don't think you should be going anywhere right now. You need to stay close to home so you can get plenty of food and rest. Are you dating anyone at the moment?"

House shook his head, "Nope."

Blythe looked at Wilson, "Is that true, sometimes I can't tell with him."

Wilson smiled, "This time he's telling the truth ma'am."

Blythe smiled back, "You are always such a polite fellow, if only you could rub a little of that off on my son."

"Hey, I can be polite," House interjected quickly.

"I never said you couldn't, just that you don't usually choose to do so," Blythe said looking at her son.

Wilson laughed but was stopped as House narrowed his eyes on him.

Blythe looked at the two of them and smiled, "So why don't you two date?"

Wilson almost choked and House looked at his mother like she was crazy, "Mom, I'm not gay."

"Greg it's okay, you don't have to lie to me. I'm proud of you just the way you are and Wilson is such a good man," She said.

House smiled, "Great, it's good to know if I was gay you would be accepting of that, but I'm telling you I'm not and if I was Wilson would be the girl."

She sighed, "There is nothing to be ashamed of Greg, I haven't forgotten about that time I walked in on you and Thomas."

House's face flushed and he swallowed as he had almost forgotten all about his mother walking in on him in that situation, "I was twelve and we were just masturbating. He wasn't touching me and I wasn't touching him."

Blythe looked confused, "But you two were doing it in front of each other, and he kept whispering to you. If you aren't gay why would be doing that with him there."

House saw Wilson watching him which made his pulse race some and he felt himself blush harder, "Because... he was teaching me how. I didn't know how to."

"Oh, well you didn't seem to uncomfortable with another man in the room with you, so I just assumed that you might prefer it or at least was okay with it." Blythe said looking at Wilson now, "I mean you can't really blame me for the assumption when both of you seem so close and never had much luck with the ladies."

Wilson smiled, "Actually I've been married three times."

"Oh I know dear, I just always found it odd that none of those marriages lasted as long as you and Greg's friendship." Blythe said innocently.

Wilson looked over at House and back to Blythe silently asking for help.

"Mom, stop giving him the third degree, and just because he doesn't have successful relationships with women doesn't mean he's gay." Then House looked over to Wilson with an evil smile, "Although it does fit. Jimmy don't worry, even thought I don't go that way, if you were gay I'd still be your friend."

Wilson looked unamused, "Ha ha, very funny. I've had more successful relationships than you have."

House rolled his eyes, "I'm cripple and your talking about it like it's a race."

Blythe sighed, "Honey that shouldn't stop you, and I can't say I was disappointed about you and Stacy's breakup. She never seemed warm to me. You know who I'd like you to date again? Lisa Cuddy, I remember you calling me about her when you were in college. You said you thought you'd found the one, remember? What happened there, you were so happy and then next time I saw you all you said was that it didn't work out?"

Wilson looked at House with surprised features, the night House had described it he hadn't said anything about the aftermath, he'd just told how amazing the deed was. And the way Cuddy had described it made it sound more like a fling than anything else.

House rolled his head awkwardly letting his neck crack, "Yeah Mom, I remember. I was afraid that she'd dump me if she found out about me being expelled from Hopkins so I just kind of left without saying anything."

"Well that was forever ago and now you work with her. She's really good looking, career oriented just like you. Lisa seems like she can be brash, but she's still a lot kinder than I think Stacy ever was. She isn't married yet, is she Wilson?" Blythe asked.

"No ma'am," Wilson answered solemnly.

"Mom, she just adopted a baby girl." House said hoping she would leave it alone.

Blythe's eyes lit up, "Oh really, that's great, I'm so happy for her. Greg you would be an absolutely wonderful father." She said with hope.

"Glad you think so," House said not sharing her opinion of him as a father. How could a man in a wheelchair be any kind of real father to a child. He'd never get to play chase, or go to a father daughter dance. "Hey, why don't we order something in and have a nice lunch."

Blythe smiled, "Well look, maybe staying with Wilson has made you more polite. I think that would be lovely, and for dinner you could invite Lisa, unless that would be too much of an imposition on you Wilson?" She said in a way that he couldn't possible say no.

"Of course not, it would be great to have Cuddy over," Wilson said then looked over at House, "wouldn't it."

House put on a fake smile, "Yeah, sounds like fun."

It was seven when Cuddy arrived with Rachel. Wilson opened the door, "Hey, glad you could make it House and his mother are in the living room, the food hasn't arrived yet."

Cuddy gave an awkward smile, "Great wouldn't want to miss that." She hadn't know how to feel since House had called her up and invited her.

House saw her and a small smile was on his lips, he's dream had been very realist and he could imagine what was under the navy blue dress she was wearing. Blythe followed his gaze and smiled at Cuddy, "Well Lisa don't you look stunning," she said.

"Yes she does," House remarked Cuddy met his eyes with a cocked eyebrow, "you really do."

"Thank you, both of you," Cuddy said watching House wondering were this was coming from.

Blythe's eyes lit up, "Oh now I believe you have a guest to introduce me to. Who is this little angel?"

Cuddy sat down on the couch next to Blythe, "This is Rachel, she's going to be six month old tomorrow. Yes you are." She cooed at the baby.

"Oh, they grow up so fast Lisa, you just can't imagine how fast it all goes by. You have to treasure them," Blythe said picking up the baby and then she laughed, "It's been so long since I've held a baby. Greg you really should give me a grand child."

House shook his head, "Fine tell you what I'll get to work on that right now. Come on Lisa, follow me into my room for a quickie, I bet we can finish before the food gets here." He said jokingly.

Blythe looked at House, "Or you could just ask her to marry you and I could see this little bundle of joy more."

House looked at Cuddy and then his mother, "Mom, I know you see me as your little boy that anyone would be lucky to have, but... I'm not, okay?"

Blythe cradled the baby, "There isn't anything wrong with you Gregory. I know you like Lisa, and look at this sweet little baby girl. You would make a great father, I know you would, and wouldn't it be wonderful to come home to a family. You don't have to be alone sweetie, you deserve to be happy."

House scoffed, "Really? Mom look at me, there are burns on thirty percent of my body, who knows if I'll actually be able to walk." House looked down and swallowed, "A husband is suppose to take care of his family not be a burden on them. Now look at her, she's beautiful, happy, and already has someone way cuter than me to take care of."

"House, don't say that. You'll walk again even if you didn't you wouldn't be a burden, and you're pretty cute too, maybe not as cute as my baby, but you're not bad." Cuddy said ending with a smile. House gave her a look as if not to encourage his mothers nagging, which only made her smile more.

Blythe looked at Cuddy, "So Lisa, are you just trying to push my son's buttons or are you really interested in him?"

Cuddy coughed, "Oh... um, well it's not really my decision."

The door bell rang and Wilson answered it quickly.

House shook his head at Cuddy with a warning gaze, to which Cuddy tilted her head towards his mom and narrowed her eyes. House swallowed and shook his head again.

"Oh look the foods here," House said rolling his chair to the dinning table.

"What do you mean it's not your decision?" Blythe asked intrigued.

"Mom, it would be rude to let the food get cold, and I've already pulled out your chair." House said desperately wanting to stop this conversation.

Blythe got up and went to the table, "Thank you dear."

House nodded, pulled out a bottle of medicine and took two.

Cuddy sat on the other side of House and right across from his mother. They all fixed their plate and were eating when Blythe took a sip of wine, "So Lisa, what did you mean?"

Lisa gave a smile to House and then looked back as his mother, "I was dating your son before the this happened to him, and a couple of day's after he woke up he broke it off." House glared at her.

Blythe looked at House, "You two were dating and you didn't tell me."

House sighed, "There isn't much to tell we dated about a week before it happened and then... after what had happened we broke up."

"Gregory, you don't do anything with out a reason, so tell me why did you break up with Lisa?" She said watching her son with confusion.

House looked at both of them seriously, "Mom, I love you I really do, but please stop pushing this."

Blythe saw a seriousness she rarely saw in her son, "There's something wrong isn't there."

House closed his eyes for a minute and then started eating.

"Just tell me Greg, we talked about things we should have years ago. I had hoped the day's of secrets were behind us." She said with disappointment.

House glared at Cuddy, "Thanks a lot, the first time I've actually gotten to spend time with my mother and you had to tell her about this."

Cuddy fixed her eyes on House, "Well you're the one that kept accusing me of being ashamed of our relationship, but then I find out you didn't even tell your mother. Maybe you were the one that was ashamed."

"I didn't tell her because it was just starting and I didn't want to get her hopes up just for you to dump me or for something horrible like this to happen and ruin everything." House said taking heavy breaths as he began to shake.

"Gregory you need to calm down," Blythe said as she saw him shaking. "I just love you so much and want you to be happy. I thought you wanted to be a father and have a family, but maybe I was wrong."

House looked at his mother with pained eyes, "You weren't wrong, I do want that so bad, but.. then... they took that away."

Wilson couldn't just sit back and watch House suffer anymore, "He has his reasons, I assure you Mrs. House it wasn't something he took lightly."

Blythe sighed, "Okay, as long as it isn't something life threatening I guess I can leave it alone."

Wilson choked on his food a little and coughed. House eyed him, "Nope, nothing like that."

Cuddy looked from House to Wilson with more worry in her eyes, but Blythe hadn't seemed to notice the convenient cough.

As soon as they were done with the meal Blythe got up and gave Greg a hug, "I've missed you so much, hopefully I'll see you longer next time but if I don't leave I'm not going to make my flight."

House gave her a smile, "I'll call you when I'm out of the wheelchair."

Blythe smiled, "I'd like that Gregory. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself and I don't care what you say, too me you're still perfect just the way you are."

House swallowed a small lump in his throat, "Thanks."

She waved bye to the rest of them and was gone.

House let out a sigh, threw his napkin on the table giving Cuddy a harsh look and rolled toward the bedroom, "Goodnight," he said as he closed the door.

Cuddy looked at Wilson as she took a sip of the wine, "You think he'll forgive me for ratting him out to his mother."

Wilson shrugged, "Probably, I've done worse."

Cuddy face wrinkled in worry, "Wilson, you would tell me if it was life threatening, right."

Wilson started clearing the table silently. Cuddy got up and physically stopped him, "Wilson, please tell me it's not."

Wilson frowned, "Cuddy I'm not telling you anything, if you keep doing this pretty soon you'll figure it out, just by me answering your questions. I'm sorry, I can't." He said and continued cleaning

"I just want to make sure he's okay," she said honesty.

Wilson turned back quickly, "Does he look okay?" Cuddy bit her lip. "He hasn't been OKAY, since this happened. He's in worse pain than before, he can't sleep without nightmares, and he's terrified of people touching him. Tell me Cuddy what seems OKAY about any of this?"

Cuddy thought about it and looked back at Wilson, "He'll bounce back Wilson, he always does."

Wilson sighed, "Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself too."

Cuddy walked over to House's bedroom door and opened it, the lamp by the bed was on and he was laying on his back with the covers pulled up to his stomach looking at the ceiling. "Hey," she said and slipped in.

House sighed as he watched her come in and sit at the end of the bed near his feet.

"You still mad at me?" She asked softly with a hint of regret.

House shrugged and looked back at the ceiling. The silence stretched on and then he looked at her again, "Did Wilson tell you about the dreams?"

Cuddy looked at him with interest, "No, do you want to tell me about them?" She said laying a hand on his covered shin.

House watched her hand and sighed, "No... They were just dreams, it's not like they meant anything," he said even thought his face showed worry.

Cuddy got up and walked over to the other side of the bed and laid down facing him on top of the covers, "Is that the truth or is that what you keep telling yourself?"

House turned towards her and looked at how her body laid then his eyes met hers, "What are doing?"

Cuddy let her hand rest between them, "What do you think I'm doing?"

House licked his lips, "Why do you keep trying with me?"

Cuddy looked at him with a serious expression, "Isn't it obvious, I keep trying because you're worth it. Gre... House, there isn't anyone else like you. You're... I miss you." She said and felt her eyes water slightly.

House's eyes searched hers and he gently touched her face, "Please don't Lisa, it breaks me to see you cry."

Cuddy's heart ached, "It breaks me to see you like this. I just wish I could take it all away, the pain, the fear, and have back the sarcastic, brass, passionate, take charge man you were before this happened."

House let his hand drop and rolled back on his back looking up at the ceiling.

Cuddy let out a deep breath, "Is this it, or is there a chance that later we could actually have another shot?"

House turned his head toward her, "You sure you would want it if there was?" Cuddy nodded. House looked at her and could remember how it had felt when she touched him, held him,... made love to him. He swallowed, "There could be, but I'm not sure right now."

Cuddy let a smile grace her lips, "I'll wait then, until you tell me you're sure it'll never happen, because even thought you don't see it you are worth it."

House's looked at her in awe, all he wanted was to pull her close and let her know how he felt, "You should go."

Cuddy arched an eyebrow and smiled, "Oh should I? Am I just a little too sexy for my own good?" She said pulling down on her neck line revealing her very see through black lace bra.

House was almost drooling, "Lisa... you really should go." He said staring at her breasts.

Lisa pouted, "No kiss goodbye?" She raised her knee brushing his in the process and letting her skirt raise up.

House smirked at her and rolled on top of her pinning her to the bed with his body. Her perfume was alluring and light and her skin was pristine as porcelain he could remember the last time he had her like this. He was taking labored breath just thinking about having her beneath him moaning his name.

Cuddy felt a sudden rush to have him on top of her again her mind wondered to times before and she wanted to pull him even closer. She watched his eyes trail from her breast to her face and the admiration that they held. She was entranced by his lips which were parted roaming just a inch from her body she could feel his breaths and she waited to feel them land.

House watched her breast go up and down with each breath. He knew this was dangerous, way more dangerous than she knew, and kissed her softly by the ear and then he pulled back, "Goodnight," he said and rolled back on to his back again trying to calm down.

Cuddy's body was still burning with desire as she let out a frustrated laugh, "You are evil," she said and bit her lip.

House smirked, "Have sweaty... I mean sweet dreams."

Cuddy sat up and glared at him, "Oh, now you're all cocky, but as soon as I leave you're going to be thinking about me and this," she let her hand glide on top of the covers from his inner thigh to his stomach.

It was all he could do to stay quiet then he watched her as she slid off the bed and walk back to the door. She grinned, "You're not the only one that can be evil," and she was gone.

House chuckled and whispered, "bitch," even thought there was no one there to hear it.


	46. Chapter 46: Nightmare on House St

Wilson was watching TV when he heard House mumbling loudly and decided to check on him. When he walked in he found House laying on his side facing him asleep.

"You are cowards, none of you would dare take me one on one." House mumbled. Then he jerked as if he was being kicked or beaten.

"House wake up," Wilson said loudly.

"Your dads a pussy and your mother is a Marine mattress Rogers," House mumbled again and jerked some more.

"What?" Wilson said listening to House.

House opened his eyes, "You fucking heard me and everyone knows it. The funny thing is you think you're so strong, and maybe you are now but when we grow up you're going to be at the bottom of the food train pumping gas and I'll be the one on top."

Wilson reached toward House and House grabbed his hand twisting it painfully and when he bend down, House turned him around slipping his arm around Wilson's neck smoothly and tightening. House's mouth was close to Wilson's ear, "Live it up Rogers, because even thought I'm only ten, I can count and you only have two more years of school and then you're reign will be over." He whispered then let go and collapsed on the bed.

Wilson coughed and took in deep breath when he stood up he saw House staring at the ceiling calmly. "House?" He said standing out of arms reach. House didn't seem fazed, "HOUSE!" Wilson yelled and House jerked and blinked looking at Wilson as he tried to catch his breath.

"What the fuck Wilson?" House said startled out of his sleep.

Wilson was really worried, before House had always remembered what happened. "If you're fucking with me, just let me know, because this isn't funny House."

House sat up, "Yeah, I'm the one fucking with you. Tell me Wilson, why the hell are you even in here?"

Wilson frowned, "You know why."

House rolled his eyes, "Nothing happened, we just... talked."

Wilson looked confused, "What do you think I'm talking about?"

"Cuddy," House answered like it should be obvious then he noticed how Wilson was holding his right hand. "What's wrong with your hand?" He asked and looked up to see Wilson look away which gave his a good view of the light red mark on Wilson's neck. House swallowed, "It was me wasn't it?" he asked with concern. Wilson licked his lips and let his head dip. House looked away, "Get out," he said with a lack of emotion that scared Wilson.

Wilson was worried, "House we can talk. I'll..."

"You'll get the HELL OUT, and if you want me to stay here you'll stop waking me up from my dreams." House said with determined eyes.

Wilson looked like he was about to cry, "Let me help you, if you'd just talk then..."

"WHAT WILSON! The worlds going to turn better? You don't even want to talk to me, not really, remember? And you aren't doing this for me, you like hearing bit's and pieces, you think you're getting to know me, but you aren't because they are just dreams." House said watching him.

Wilson shook his head, "No, there more than dreams because if they weren't, you wouldn't be so upset."

House narrowed his eyes and flexed his jaw, "Get out or I will."

Wilson left and turned off the TV then went to bed. It was 3:35 am when he woke up again to the sound of House screaming. He ran to the door but it was locked and then he remembered the talk they had. Wilson stood there as the screams got louder.

"I'LL NEVER TALK! BRING IT ON! I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU! I'LL GET LOOSE AND KILL EVERYONE OF YOU! DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW YOU'RE A FAG? UNTIE ME AND TRY THAT!" Were some of the many phrases yelled in the thirty minutes that went by before Wilson grabbed a pan from the kitchen and started knocking it against the wall near were House's bed was.

Everything got quiet and Wilson swallowed, "House?" He yelled through the wall.

House was still shaky from the dream but managed to say, "Don't come in." Wilson leaned against the wall afraid for his friend and yet knew the last thing House would want is to see him acting that way. A few minutes later Wilson was startled when House yelled, "Go to bed Wilson," through the wall.

Wilson woke up and was surprised to see it was already eight, since he never slept past seven. He jumped up and put on his robe then started on his way to make coffee when he saw House sitting at the table with a medical file scattered in front of him. "Hey," Wilson said and went to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot, then sat down at the table across from House. House was dressed and looking at the file with his reading glasses, making notes here and there. Wilson sat there just watching until he heard the coffee finish. "You want a cup?" he asked as he stood up.

House looked over his glasses at Wilson, "sure."

Wilson could tell House hadn't got much sleep again and made the cups of coffee, got the cream then sat back down. He watched as House fixed his cup and sighed, "So did you ever go back to sleep last night?"

House looked over at him with a clenched jaw, "Does it look like I went back to sleep? Do you remember being woken up again with me screaming?" He asked with anger.

"No," Wilson said and House looked back down at the file. Wilson drank two cups of coffee as he watched House and tried to distract himself with the paper, but couldn't help but get more interested in what House was doing. "What are..."

"God don't you ever shut up!" House yelled across the table.

Wilson was about to yell a retort back when he stopped and reminded himself that House had been through a lot and was running on little sleep. Instead he got up and walked into the living room and started watching TV on a low volume. It was almost one when Wilson heard thump and looked back at House to see him on the floor rather than in his wheelchair. Wilson sprinted over and pulled the chair away so he could try to help House.

"Please, I'll do anything, don't leave," House mumbled against the floor.

Wilson stopped, House had clearly asked Wilson not to wake him up from his dreams and House obviously was dreaming.

"I love you Stacy," House said as his arms reached out then he started crawling on his arms dragging his legs slowly, "NO DON'T. Just wait..." House breathed heavy and opened his eyes looking at a chair, "You can hurt me... please just hit me or something don't leave."

Wilson looked away and ran his hand through his hair.

House leaned against the wall, "I'm sorry Stacy, please just tell me what you want." Then he shook his head and closed his eyes again, "But why, you know I won't stop you." House lowered his head, "I've told you I'll do anything but that," he said looking at the floor, the his head snapped up, "NO!" he said with panic. Wilson looked back at him as he heard his ragged breaths. "Okay..." House said softly with defeat and looked back up at the chair. Wilson could see the disgusted look on his face and drop of moisture that was too heavy fell from his eye, "you can tie me up."

Wilson had heard more than he wanted too and was about to get a glass of water when he looked back to see House look like he was gagging and then throw up all over himself. "House," Wilson said as he stood in front of him.

House could feel sweat on his forehead and standing in front of him was Wilson his eyes were heavy and he smelled something awful. He looked down to see he was covered in vomit. He looked back up at Wilson, "If you want me to take a shower all had to do was ask," he said with an amused smile.

Wilson didn't laugh, "House I'm worried."

House rolled his eyes, "I told you I'll take a bath," he said as he scooted back to his wheelchair and managed to get in it without an vomit getting on the floor.

Wilson put his hand on the arm rest of the wheelchair to stop House from moving and leaned down then leaned away as he got whiff of vomit. "I want you to make an appointment with Dr. Ryan about the medication," Wilson let go of the chair and stood tall, "and about the dreams. I never thought... someone could be hurt so much by everyone, I'm suppose to be you're best friend and I've slept with one of the few women you've ever loved, turned you in to the police for a situation I caused, I even asked you to put your life on the line for me and yet when I walked in and found you that Christmas... I just walked away." Wilson sighed with realization, "I don't know how I didn't know that worse things had happened since you just accepted what I did, but that has to stop."

"I have throw up all over me, so if you're done with your speech I'd like to get cleaned up." House said without emotion and started rolling away.

"I'm serious about this House," Wilson said turning around and looking at the back of him.

House stopped but didn't look back, "I have a standing appointment with Dr. Ryan for Thursday's at two, I'll get on different meds and as far as the rest of it... I'll think about it." Then he rolled into the restroom and closed the door.

It was almost eleven when Cuddy decided to give Wilson a call to check up on House. "So how have things been going?" she asked.

Wilson sat down on his bed, "Worse, last night I think he was dreaming about being bullied at school. He twisted my hand and put me in a choke hold. When he came out of it he didn't remember what he had done. He was screaming again around 3:30 am like he was being tortured, this morning it was a fight with Stacy, and tonight at dinner I was a terrorist who had imprisoned him and was trying to poison him."

Cuddy held her blanket tighter, "Did you get him to agree to see the therapist?"

"Yeah, he figured out my plan before I finished it, but he agreed to go anyway for the medicine and said he would think about talking to her about his dreams." Wilson said then sighed, "At dinner, he wasn't even asleep he just started hallucinating."

"I'm glad he see's this is serious but Wilson if it ever seems like it could get violent again then call me, okay?" Cuddy said with worry.

"Alright, I'll talk to you later. Thanks for checking in." He said and hung up.

Wednesday was finally here and Wilson was hoping for an easy day of course you don't always get what you want. By five o'clock House had already had two incidents one where he was playing the piano and thought Wilson was his father and then one were he fell asleep and thought he had just had the surgery on his leg.

It was seven when Wilson noticed House glaring at him, "House, what's wrong?"

House continued his glare, "Oh, I don't know Colonial, what do you think is the problem?"

Wilson swallowed he could tell this wasn't going to be good and texted Cuddy to come over. He looked back up at House. "I don't know, and I'm not a Colonial, I'm Wilson."

House's eye twitched, "No, I'll tell you what you are, you are a coward."

"I don't know what you think I did but..." Wilson was cut off by House.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!" House said as he rolled closer towards Wilson.

Wilson backed away, "House calm down."

House was fuming, "You made me believe you really cared that you were just trying to help me, but you weren't. You never cared about me did you?"

Wilson almost fell over a shoe in the floor but caught himself as he kept walking away from House's advance, "That's not true, I care about you House."

"LIAR," House yelled, "There's no excuse for what you did, and if you cared about me you couldn't have let that happen."

Wilson saw a hatred in House's eyes and it scared him to the bone, "I'm sorry you're right. I shouldn't have done it."

"YOU THINK SORRY CAN FIX WHAT YOU DID!" House screamed, "NOTHING... WILL EVER FIX WHAT YOU DID!" House yelled through heaving breaths and tearing eyes.

Wilson was afraid to breath, he knew this was bigger than any of the other times. Never had he seen House like this, "House, it'll be okay I promise."

House rolled faster, "NO IT WON'T!" He said as he had Wilson cornered.

Wilson looked around and realized House had him trapped. "THIS ISN'T REAL HOUSE, YOU NEED TO WAKE UP!" He screamed hoping that it would sink in.

Cuddy came in and saw House grab Wilson's shirt and yank him down to the floor, "IT WAS REAL, BELIEVE ME, IT WAS REAL!" House yelled.

Cuddy grabbed the handles on his chair and pulled him away from Wilson. House looked back at her, "Mom, it hurts so bad," he said with trembling lips Cuddy stood to the side of him shocked to see tears running down his face and he grabbed her hips and wept into her stomach.

Cuddy looked down and then at Wilson with a shocked expression. Her hands seemed to know what to do as one rubbed his back while the other combed through his hair. They both stood in silence looking at House for several minutes and then Wilson tried to walk away.

House's head snapped up, "NO," he yelled with tear stained eyes, "not this time. Tell her, tell her what you did to me." He said with a calm hatred.

Wilson stopped and put up his hands in a surrendering manner, "House, I don't know what you are talking about."

House pushed himself up and out of the chair standing in front of Wilson, "YOU COWARD SON OF A BITCH, TELL HER OR I'LL END YOU NOW!" He said and grabbed Wilson's shirt. "She deserves to know what kind of animal you really are."

Cuddy ran up to them, "Stop this, let go of him," she said with panic in her voice.

House looked at her, "No, I'm not going to do that. I can't do that, you have to know."

"Then you tell me," she said looking him in the eye.

House's face reddened, "He... he..., I can't," he said with shame then pushed Wilson against the wall. "What you did, I'll never forgive you for," House said as he pulled his fist back but before it got released Cuddy slapped him hard on the face. So hard it knocked him off balance and he fell to the floor.

Cuddy shook her hand as it hurt so bad she knew it would be bruised. She looked down at House who was holding his legs with a pained expression. She took a step towards him and he looked up at her with fear and scooted away from her. Cuddy stopped, "Let me help you up."

House swallowed, "I thought you didn't believe in hitting. I... I thought... you loved me."

Cuddy didn't know what to say she reached for him but he pulled away quickly. House got back into his wheelchair on his own watching both of them carefully. Then he held his stomach and Cuddy already knew what was going to happen so she grabbed the trash can quickly and put it in front of him.

"It's okay, I think... it's going... to pass," House managed to say before he grabbed it and vomited.

Cuddy had noticed he looked bad Monday night when she came over but he looked horrible now. He was like a death warmed over.

Wilson got him a cool wet rag and wiped his forehead with it.

House looked up at him with sunken eyes, "Did I hurt you?"

"No," Wilson said softly and held the wet cloth to House's forehead.

House nodded and took the rag to wipe his mouth off with as he spit out some bile while he trembled. He let out a sigh as he saw Cuddy, "You come for the show?" he asked tiredly with annoyance.

Cuddy looked at him, "How's your face?"

House ran the rag over the imprint that was on his face, "I'll survive," he said and looked down noticing her shirt was wet on her stomach, the longer he looked at it redder his ears and neck got.

Cuddy looked at Wilson for help. Wilson took a deep breath and let it out, "It's okay, you thought she was your mother. You're suppose to be able to cry on your mother."

"But she's not my mother Wilson, and you aren't my father. None of it was real." He said loudly with clenched hands on shaky arms. "My real mother never hit me," he said looking at Cuddy, "and when I did get mad enough to talk back to my father..." House shook his head, "it never got this far."

Cuddy felt terrible, "House, I'm sorry I was afraid you were going to hurt him, but maybe it was good for you to be able to let go of some of your anger maybe it was healthy."

House looked at both of them, "No, it means I'm sick, it means I'm hallucinating and I'm a danger to be around."

Wilson looked at House, "What did he do to you House? I've never seen you that upset."

House met Wilson's eyes, "Nothing, just forget about it."

Cuddy put a hand on his knee which he jerked away from, "House, you cried about it. Whatever he did was significant, you can tell us."

House started rolling away, "I need to take a shower," he said and locked the bathroom door.


	47. Chapter 47: Psychobabble

House looked around the office with interest, studying the pictures, diplomas, and decor.

"I have to say I didn't expect you to take me up on my offer so quick, but I'm very glad to see you Dr. House." Dr. Ryan said with a warm smile.

House glanced at her, "The medicine you gave me isn't working," he said tiredly as his eyes began to roam the room some more for something more interesting to look at.

Dr. Ryan sighed with frustration, "Well, I'm sorry to hear that you don't think it's working, but you still haven't given it a full two weeks."

House looked at her with studying eyes and tilted his head with a smirk, "No you're not, you are mad at me for questioning you."

Dr. Ryan looked in his pensive eyes a little surprised he could read her so well and gave him a smile, "Mad is such a harsh word. Let me ask the big question. What makes you think it's not working?"

"I'm unable to sleep, my dreams wake Wilson and me both up. On two occasions I've hurt him, I don't wake completely from the dreams and I think he is someone from my dream. The last two days it's escalated to hallucinations. I still shake when people touch me or get loud and I'm pissed, of course rather that's a symptom or just from the cocktail of pain and no sleep is yet to be determined." He said with a stone face.

Dr. Ryan took notes of his symptoms from the medication and then looked back up at him, "Are the dreams reality based."

House wasn't here to do the therapy crap he just wanted to get on a new medication and be gone. He narrowed his eyes slightly, "Does it matter?"

The response let her know a lot, he was irritated that she was asking him a personal question about the dreams, which also meant there was something important in those dreams at least to him. Dr. Ryan raised an eyebrow, "The answer obviously matters to you."

House clenched his jaw, "Did I mention I've been pissy? Yes, they are real. All of my dreams besides the first one have been things that actually happened in my life."

"What you are describing, doesn't sound like dreams, it sounds like night terrors." She said writing something on a note pad, "What were they about starting with the first one?"

House rolled his eyes, "First dream was about my ex-girlfriend, and believe me it had a happy ending."

Dr. Ryan blinked a little then looked down at her pad, "Did you wake up aroused?"

House smirked, "No, but there was something sticky in my pants, don't know what it could have been." He said hoping it would make her feel uncomfortable enough she wouldn't want to talk to him anymore.

Dr. Ryan blushed but didn't look up, "Okay next dream."

"I had a dream about a colleague dying. Third was about my Father, fourth was about a kid in school, fifth was about my time in the Marines, sixth was about Stacy, seventh was another Marine one, eighth was my dad, ninth was my leg surgery, tenth was my parents, eleventh was about the attack, twelfth was about a car accident, and the thirteenth was a time I drowned." House said with a final huff of breath.

Dr. Ryan looked at her list and back up to House, "Was there a common feeling with these dreams?"

House thought about it, "pain," he said uncomfortably, "probably brought on by all the pain I'm in."

Dr. Ryan nodded and wrote that down on her note pad, then raised an eyebrow, "Who is Stacy?"

"An ex," He answered with irritation.

She was surprised by the answer and wrote down something else. "Did you experience a lot of pain with her?" Dr. Ryan asked off offhandedly.

House didn't like the direction the questions were going and narrowed his eyes, "I was with her when I had surgery to remove 5lbs of thigh muscle so … yeah, there was a short time she was with me and I was in a fair amount of pain."

"What do mean a short time?" She asked with a look of confusion.

House gritted his teeth, "We were only together a couple of weeks after the surgery."

"Why, what happened?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"She left!" He said loudly.

"Why did she leave?" Dr. Ryan said softly with worried eyes.

House hit the armrest of his wheelchair hard, "IT DOESN'T MATTER! None of this does." He said trying to calm down.

She waited for him to catch his breath and put down the pen, "It matters because I'm trying to figure out if what links your dreams, or to be truthful night terrors, is physical pain or emotional."

House gave her a look of annoyance, "I don't know what you shrinks read but almost all of the studies show that the two are linked."

Dr. Ryan tried to hide a smile then sighed, "You're right again Dr. House, if I took that theory to this list then it would tell me that your father brought you a lot of both emotional and physical pain. Would that be accurate?"

House's eyes became cold and calculated, "Or it could signify that I feel a lot of pain when thinking of him. He passed less than three months ago."

Dr. Ryan blinked and wrote that down,"I... I'm sorry, I didn't know," she said taken off guard, "is that what the dreams were about? His death?"

House closed his eyes and took a deep breath then opened them and smiled, "I'm not doing this. This isn't why I came here. I'm here because the medication I'm on isn't helping, not to play 'tell you my feelings' on a couch. You're the one that wouldn't allow me to released into my own care and now Wilson's gotten hurt. If you don't put me on something else, then I'm going to have to move back to my apartment by my self, because right now I'm a risk for Wilson."

Dr. Ryan frowned, "I'm not playing with you Dr. House, I'm trying to help you work through your problems with therapy. Sometime talking helps better than medication does and the effects last longer too."

"Really? I'll have to try it next time I have a patient dying of some rare and fatal disease." House said sarcastically.

'Doctor's really do make the worst patients,' she thought as she sighed, "You don't have to talk to me..."

"Great so we agree this isn't going to happen," House said pleased that he was starting to see some defeat on her.

"I wasn't finished, you can talk to someone else, a friend. Have you talked to Wilson about the dreams?" She asked.

House propped his right leg over his left leg and put his hands on his lap in a feminine manner, "You are so right, we could talk about our hopes and dreams and then later we could write our names in little hearts on notebook paper." He said in a high pitched tone.

"Are you belittling women because we can be open and honest to other about our feelings?" Dr. Ryan asked getting more put off by his lack of respect toward psychology.

House shrugged, "Would you feel better if I said I was referring to queers?" He could tell she was irritated, "And I'm not belittling them, I'm just trying to remind you that I'm neither a hag or a fag."

Dr. Ryan took a couple of deep breaths to try to calm herself and wrote some notes then looked back up at him. She knew what he was doing, he was doing something he's probably been doing his whole life, pushing people away the his own touch of brass truth, "Did Wilson ask you to talk about the dreams?"

House rolled his eyes, "Yes, but to be fair, I wouldn't be surprised if he played for the other team."

Dr. Ryan decided to see if he could take what he dished, it wasn't something she usually did in the first session with a patient, but the way this was going she knew this might be her only shot. She smiled back, "Or maybe he's a human-being who isn't afraid to feel something and is really worried about you."

House didn't even bat and eye, "I still say he's probably a fag."

Dr. Ryan looked at him with curiosity, there were plenty of patients who could dish out jabs but not many who could take it. He hadn't even seemed concerned or like he even noticed that she had all but said that he was a cold hearted ass. Maybe she had miscalculated the relationship between Wilson and House, that could explain his reaction if he didn't really care about Wilson it would make since that it wouldn't bother him that his friend was worried. She swallowed, "I was led to believe that Dr. Wilson is one of your closest if not your only friend. Is there someone else you are closer to, that you would feel more comfortable talking too?"

House shook his head, "No, Wilson is my only friend that's why I have to get on different meds."

"Then why not talk to him, if not for your sake then for his. Do you think trying to stop you or just hearing you scream during your night terrors is easy for him?" She implored as she searched his eyes.

House saw the way her eyes were on him and put up his trusty mask. She didn't even begin to know who she was messing with, "No, but talking about them isn't going to make either one of us feel better. Not to mention, those memories are private, meaning I don't want to share them with him or you or anyone else and that's my right. You can't force me to tell you anything and I'm already dissatisfied that he heard what he did during the night terrors. Also you don't know Wilson, he's a kind hearted person, the best kind of person. He asked me but, I could see in his eyes he doesn't really want to know. It scares him what he might find out if I were to tell him what kind of things I've lived through, he doesn't want to hear about pain and suffering, he doesn't get off on it like you do." House said looking at her with cold eyes.

Dr. Ryan felt a small glimmer of hope, House had gone from saying things that were generally unwelcoming to personally cutting her down, which meant she was getting somewhere. She watched him carefully, "What I'm hearing is that he's afraid, and that you don't trust him, you have to trust someone Dr. House."

House rolled his eyes at her with a bored expression, "If you're smart, you don't trust anyone. People make mistakes, lie, fail it would be stupid too put any large amount of faith into anyone."

Dr. Ryan took a minute writing in her pad to see how he would respond, but he didn't look as if he cared, and then she smiled as she thought about another tactic that might make him see exactly how impractical his idea was. "You're patients put a lot of faith into you, so do you think they are stupid for doing so or are you the exception to that rule?" She asked.

He could tell were this was going. You can't expect or desire people to trust you if you don't trust others. Wilson had tried this approach many times and failed, not because he was good, but because House didn't see him self as so perfect being. He gave proof and reason for his theories and if someone didn't believe him the he wasn't the one that was going to suffer or die, that was them. He gave her a smirk, "No, they're stupid just like everyone else, but I'm more honest then most, not that it's gained me an popularity."

Dr. Ryan was disappointed by the answer, she was hoping he would say that his patients should trust him because he was the doctor and knew what he was doing, it would have allowed her to turn it on him and make him see that he should trust her, since she was his doctor. She let out a soft sigh, "Okay, I'll write you a prescription, but first I want you to tell me the truth about something."

House knew she was up to something but was interested, "Fine, what is it?"

"I want to know about you're first friend," Dr. Ryan said, " the whole story."

"How do you know that won't be a couple of hours long?" He asked.

She gave him a sad smile, "I'd like you to prove me wrong House, but I'm guessing it's not."

House shrugged, "My first friends name was Rocket. I was nine when I found him at one of the bases. It was a stray dog and I wanted to be an astronaut so there was Rocket. My dad didn't like pets so I kept him a secret, I made a house out of old tin I found by a creek and would feed him any scraps I could get. Of course it wasn't two weeks before my dad found out. He told me that I wasn't responsible enough for a dog and when I argued he broke Rocket's leg. Said that animals have other expenses that come up like vet bills." House was silent for a moment then looked back at her with honest eyes, "I wasn't the normal kid. I read every medical book I could get a hold of and I tried to reset the leg and make a splint for him to use to walk all without my dad. About four weeks later my dad went to the creek looking for me and saw Rocket. I told him what I did, that Rocket wasn't just some thing to put money into that didn't give back. That he had been my first patient and that because of Rocket I had learned about medicine." House took a long breath held it for a second, "Then he shot Rocket in the head. He asked me if I could fix that and I shook my head, and he told me, that Rocket had taught me a lot. He'd been my first patient and everyone or thing, you care about is something that someone can use against you or take away." House watched her face, "So was that what you were expecting?"

She shook her head trying to find her voice eventually a small, "no," made it past her lips. House put out his hand and she handed him the prescription, he started wheeling away when she stopped him, "Wait House." He turned around looked at her expectantly. "You said Rocket was your first friend, did you talk to him, tell him secrets?" Dr. Ryan asked

House closed his eyes for a moment, "Yeah," he answered.

"Did you bury him?" She asked.

He looked back up meeting her eyes, "No, my dad said he had lost to many soldiers who didn't even get buried that he wouldn't waste his time or mine with a dog." House started to go again.

"One last thing," She said and watched as he stopped but didn't turn to face her. "Have you told Wilson about Rocket?"

House sighed, "No, I haven't told anyone about Rocket."

"Maybe you should," Dr. Ryan said with that he closed the door and she began writing her notes.

"Hey," Wilson said as he got up when House rolled out. House didn't return a greeting, instead he just pushed his wheels really fast making Wilson have to jog to keep up. When Wilson finally made it to the car he walked over to House's side to open the door and get the wheelchair. "House you alright?"

"Dandy," House said with a scowl as he got in the passenger seat irritated by what all he had to go through just to get a fucking prescription.

"Did she give you a prescription?" Wilson asked wondering why House seemed so upset as he folded the chair to but in the back seat.

"Yeah finally, here," He said throwing it to Wilson with a set jaw.

Wilson picked it up and put the wheelchair in the back seat then got in the drivers seat. "If she hurt you, you can tell me."

House looked at Wilson with a lifted brow, as he realized how low he'd sunk on Wilson's pathetic scale, "I know I look pretty pathetic but I can defend myself, especially from a 5''5 125 pound woman."

Wilson glanced at House and could tell he'd hurt his pride some by asking that, "I know you could, but I have a feeling that you would rather take a beating then hit a woman. Look how you were with Stacy."

House was talked out and decided that just ignoring that statement and anything else that came out of Wilson's mouth at the moment was probably the best thing to do. The pain was getting worse and by the time they were waiting for the prescription, he had to open his door and vomit.

Wilson tried to rub his back but House pulled away from him, "Don't touch me," he said in a raspy weak voice.

"House tell me what happened in that room or I'm going to go back up there and demand she tells me," Wilson said with a serious expression as he looked at House and could see his whole body shaking in pain as his skin paled.

House leaned back in the seat and rolled his eyes at Wilson, "You are such a girl," he said and then closed his eyes.

When he opened his eyes again Wilson was looking down and him with panic, "You passed out," he said and sat back down in his seat, "just try and stay awake until I get you home."

House nodded and looked out the window as they drove. When they got to Wilson's House almost fell trying to get in the wheelchair. Wilson rolled him inside and to his room. House pushed Wilson aside as he tried to get in bed and fell on the floor. "Dammit House, let me help you."

House grimaced, "Fine," he said slowly as the room started spinning, and both of them tried to heave his body up into the bed. By the time they made it both were tired and House passed out on top of the covers. Wilson sat down in the wheelchair for a moment and watched as House slept. When he got up he timidly felt of House's face which was cold and clammy. Wilson pulled the cover from underneath him and laid them over him. House remembered a couple of times that he told him to go away or just shook he's head after taking his medicine and fell back asleep.


	48. Chapter 48: Quantum Leap

When he finally woke up he needed to pee. He looked around and noticed his room had been cleaned. He sat up feeling oddly numb as he got into the wheelchair and left his room.

"You're finally awake," Wilson said looking over the back of the couch, and Cuddy looked at him too.

"You really have a thing for stating the obvious, don't you?" House said as he rolled into the restroom. While he was in there he decided to take a bath, he still felt the pain as he did, but somehow it didn't seem real. He watched as they looked at him when he rolled out and then back into his room to get dressed. Once he was dress he came back out and Wilson turned off the TV.

"How do you feel?" Wilson asked with concern.

"Numb," House answered, "did they put me on some new pain medication?"

"No, it's the medicine Dr. Ryan has you on, do you remember me waking you up to take your medications?" Wilson asked.

"Yeah, somewhat. What time is it?" House asked as he looked around running his hand through his hair.

"Noon, and it's Saturday," Wilson said watching him as Cuddy got up and joined them.

House thought for a second, "Did I have any dreams?"

"No," Wilson said with a smile.

"Guess I was tired," House said and looked up at Cuddy, "so what are you doing here?"

"Came by to check on you two and see if you wanted to have lunch. You're looking a lot better except the bruise," Cuddy said with a hint of guilt.

House looked back at her with puppy dog eyes, "You said you'd never hurt me again, that I didn't deserve to be hit."

Cuddy's mouth hung open, as she remembered there last time together before House was attacked. "House, you don't, I'm sorry. I shouldn't.."

"Calm down, it's okay. You did what needed to be done, I was just teasing you a little," House said rolling his eyes.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him, "You bastard, nothing about what's happened is funny."

"Funny choice of words," House said with clenched jaw and narrowed eyes.

Cuddy smiled, "So did you're daddy issues grow or you just fucking with me House."

Wilson put an hand on her arm and shook his head with a warning look.

House looked up at Wilson, "Is that what you were doing, telling her about what my mother said?"

Wilson swallowed and looked down, "No House, I swear I didn't tell her. She... she just thought you were being an ass."

Cuddy looked between the two of them, "What are you talking about?"

House shrugged as if it was nothing but his eyes held a awkwardness, "Don't you keep up with my blog? My evilness rating has been increased, from bastard, to product of a mentally ill rapist."

Cuddy watched him closely with a disturbed face, "Is that suppose to be a joke?"

House narrowed his eyes on her, "Not unless it's one my mothers playing on me. Some how I doubt it."

Her face was sympathetic, "I would ask if you wanted to talk about, but knowing you, I'm guessing not."

House smiled back, "Why wouldn't I want to talk about? I mean it's such a beautiful story."

"What do you want for lunch House?" Wilson asked not amused by the conversation.

"Steak," House answered.

"For lunch?" Wilson asked surprised by House's answer.

"Again, with the stating the obvious," House quipped.

Wilson looked to Cuddy, "How does Oliver's sound?"

"Wonderful, I'll have the grilled salmon lunch portion," She said and sat down at the table.

Wilson made the phone call and they all sat down at the table and waited for the delivery. "I called Dr. Ryan about your appointment. She said I should ask you to tell me about Rocket." Wilson said looking at House.

House smiled at Wilson, "Oh honey, you didn't have to bother yourself with that. I mean I know how busy you are cooking a cleaning," he said in a feminine voice.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I'm taking care of you House, and the way you left worried me."

"Isn't there an oath that Doctor's take about confidentiality or something? Or is that just for the REAL doctors?" House asked with irritation.

"She didn't tell me what you talked about, just said I should ask you about it," Wilson said. "If it's some big secret then by all means don't. She seemed to think it would help me to understand you better, not that you care."

House grinned, "Rocket is my pet name for my penis."

"Oh so you finally retired Mount Gregory, did you?" Cuddy said with a arched eyebrow.

House half laughed, "No, I'll make a deal. I'll tell you everything I told her about Rocket for two hundred dollars."

Wilson looked at him for a moment, "You're seriously charging me to hear your story."

"Why not? Dr. Ryan charged me, to make me talk about it. She even bargained my health really, since it was the only way to get her to give me a new prescription." House said with a grin, "Have to say she did make me have a little more respect for her by bargaining."

Wilson shook his head then opened his wallet and put down two hundred dollars, "Talk."

House looked at Cuddy, "As soon as she leaves... or pays up, whichever."

Cuddy grabbed her purse and wrote a check then put it on top of Wilson's cash, "Fine, I'm in."

House looked at the check with suspicion, "How do I know it'll clear?" Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him, "I guess if it doesn't I can always harass you about it at work." He said with a smile.

"Yes, because you harassing me at work is so unusual," She said with sarcasm. "Now spill it."

House told them the story just as he had Dr. Ryan, he even told them the answer's to her questions about it. "The End," House said and picked up the money and put it in his pocket.

Wilson stared blankly at House thinking about the story and finding more things fucked up with it each second. Cuddy looked away and let out a deep breath slowly, "Thank god you're seeing a physiologist."

"Well that was my one and only visit as long as this new medication works," House said then smiled, "I think I'm going to get a PS3."

"What?" Wilson said looking at House dumbfounded.

"P... S... 3. A PlayStation 3, you've got to get out more," House said condescendingly.

Wilson stood up, "Not the stupid game system, the therapy."

House rolled his eyes, "I never said I was going to keep going. You knew the only reason I went this time was to get on some new meds."

"Wilson's right about this House, I think therapy could do you some real good." Cuddy said seriously.

House looked at them with irritation, "Well, I'm glad you two are in agreement, but it's my decision and I'm not going to therapy. Now can we break away from me for a moment and talk about something else."

Sunday -

House woke up and looked around room. He the last thing he remembered was watching the hockey game with Wilson. He thought hard and could see everything play back like a movie. House rubbed his eyes and got up.

He blinked and he was sitting at the table eating dinner. House was freaked out but stayed calm, "So, is there a game on tonight?"

Wilson looked up at House with interest, "Does this mean you are finally done giving me the silent treatment?"

House shrugged, "I don't know, have you learned your lesson?"

Wilson sighed, "Yeah, I'll stop pushing therapy."

"Thanks," House said.

Monday -

House found himself in the bathroom showering.

Tuesday -

House was sitting in his wheelchair in his room. He rolled out to see Wilson and a blonde woman on the couch watching TV and rolled back in his room slowly.

Wednesday -

House pushed a hand away from him and looked to see Wilson standing in front of him looking concerned. "What did I say about touching me?"

Wilson sighed, "I was just making sure you were in there somewhere. You hardly talk anymore, are you alright House?"

House thought about it for a minute and decided that this was better than the night terrors, "yeah," he said.

Thursday -

Friday -

House was at the table with Cuddy, and Rachel was playing in portable play pen. "Where's Wilson?" He asked as he looked around.

Cuddy looked up at him, "He's on a date with Megan, he told you about."

House swallowed and looked around, then looked at his food. "Ugh, what the hell is this?"

Cuddy grinned, "Marinated tofu in a spinach salad with radishes and cucumber. Wilson said you had been eating whatever he gave you and I just had to see for myself." She looked at him and could see the confusion. "Do you know what day it is?"

House looked around to see if he could see any clues.

"You don't do you?" She said as she reached out for him.

House jerked away, "Don't."

Cuddy frowned, "It's Friday House. I'm not sure this medicine is any better than the other."

House felt the numbness starting to take over, "It's better than hurting Wilson."

Saturday -

House was on the toilet he reached for the toilet paper when he saw Wilson standing in the room with him. "What the hell?"

Wilson grimaced, "House, you should have told me you haven't been remembering things. Cuddy told me you didn't even know what day of the week it was, I can't leave you alone."

"Well then could you at least turn around while I wipe?" House said and Wilson obliged. He wiped, flushed, and pulled up his pants sitting down in the wheelchair. Then he rolled out slamming the door.

Wilson ran after him, "House, you think I want to watch you use the bathroom? I'm afraid you're going to hurt yourself on accident."

House turned around, "I've been making it fine. I don't need an escort to the bathroom."

Sunday -

House was sitting at the table. He heard voices and looked behind him to see Cuddy and Wilson arguing.

Cuddy seemed frustrated, "Wilson I can't let him come up there like that!"

Wilson frown, "Then what do you want me to do? Leave him with strangers?"

"I don't know. Maybe I could get someone from the team to look in on him." Cuddy said back.

Wilson looked down, "House wouldn't want them to see him like this."

"You know I'm sitting right here," House said with anger.

The both looked at him with sorrowful eyes. "Hey buddy, what do you want to eat for dinner tonight?" Wilson asked.

House narrowed his eyes, "I'll be fine here alone, or for that matter you could just take me home."

"No one's taking you home House." Cuddy said with a frown.

"Then leave me here, I'll be fine," House said with irritation, "and tonight I'll have fried chicken. Oh and by the way quit feeding me crappy food, that's just wrong."

Monday -

House found himself staring out the window. He rolled back and looked around to see no one around. He let out a relieved sigh. Then he heard the toilet flush and saw Thirteen come out.

Thirteen was surprised to see House watching her every movement, "Hi," she said with a smile.

House felt his blood pressure go up, "What time is it?"

"Ten in the morning," She said looking at her watch and back at him.

House narrowed his eyes, "Have you followed me in the bathroom?"

Thirteen swallowed, "No," she said looking down.

"Don't or I will fire you when I get back, that goes for the others too. I'm fine. You could leave actually." House said turning away to look back out the window.

Tuesday -

Wednesday -

House looked around his office to see Cuddy sitting at his desk. He watched her closely as she fiddled with things on the desk. "What am I doing here?"

Cuddy looked over at him, "Wilson's working late and he asked Chase to bring you. You were suppose to be waiting in his office but I found you in here."

House nodded, "So today's Tuesday?"

Cuddy frowned, "No, it's Wednesday."

"I think that I could hand the PTSD off the medications if I was working. If I stayed busy it would help me handle it." House said with imploring eyes.

Cuddy swallowed, "House... I want you back at this desk, believe me, but if your wrong then this could be bad."

"How often am I wrong," House said seriously, "Cuddy, this medicine isn't good, but it's the safest thing for Wilson's sake otherwise I wouldn't still be taking it. What if it screws with my brain? All I have is work... you know that."

Cuddy chewed on her lip.

House's blue eyes stayed on hers, "Please Cuddy, give me a chance, haven't I earned that."

"Alright, I'll talk to Wilson about it see what he has to say," Cuddy said watching him.

Cuddy watched House as the light seemed to fade from his eyes and he looked around without thought. She had been worried herself about him loosing his mind, there was something about the way that he thought that was different. He solved cases no one else could and if he stayed on this medicine too long and lost that, people would die. She owed it to him, herself and those people to make sure that didn't happen.

When Wilson walk in she stood up, "We need to have a talk in the DDX room."

"Cuddy, I was working late and Chase had plans, it was a one time thing," Wilson said following her.

Cuddy shook her head, "It isn't that. House talked to me. He thinks that he could handle the PTSD if he was working."

Wilson took a second to think about it, "It's too dangerous, what if someone touched him and he flipped out on them, not to mention the stress of his cases. You know how obsessive he gets and pushes himself, I don't think he really needs that in his life again right now."

"Wilson he's afraid of the medication he's on having a lasting effect on his brain and frankly so am I. I'm worried about him too, but... Wilson if he looses that part about him, do you think he'll ever forgive either of us. Could you forgive yourself for the lives that would die without him? I'm not saying to make it permanent I'm just saying we give him a shot." Cuddy said hoping Wilson would agree.

He walked out of the DDX room, into House's office and grabbed House's arm. House's arm twitched for about half a minute and then his hand was pushed away with House looking at him. "Quit touching me!" he said with irritation.

"I wouldn't have to if this medicine didn't make you so out of it." Wilson said then sighed, "Cuddy said you want to go back to work with out any PTSD medicine." House nodded. "She said you are afraid the medicine might mess with your brain."

House frowned, "Yeah, I am worried about it. I can do this Wilson, as long as I'm working I'll be fine with out the medicine."

"How do you know that House?" Wilson asked with worry.

House sighed, "Because I've worked through PTSD a couple of times now."

"Then why not just stop taking the medicine at home?" Wilson asked.

"Because I'm afraid I would hurt you. At your place there is only you and me, nothing else to really distract my mind with. If I'm working my mind will be occupied with other thoughts than you." House said with pleading eyes.

Wilson rubbed his neck as he looked into House's eyes, "Fine, but you first have to make it the full weekend without the medicine. If you can do that then I won't have any objections to you coming back to work."

"Okay, I can do that," House said.


	49. Chapter 49: Daddy Comes Home

It was Friday afternoon when House could tell the medicine was starting to wear off. His body tingled with feeling and hurt with pain that no longer was dulled by the numb feeling. It wasn't unbearable, but it wasn't comfortable either. Cameron was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I thought they were only making the people on my team take turns," House said with interest.

Cameron looked at him with a smile, "I was wondering how long it would take for the medicine to get out of your system. How do you feel?"

"I'm okay, you still didn't answer my question. Why are you here?" House asked.

Cameron turned off the TV, "Wilson didn't want Kutner to watch you after what happened in the Hospital so, here I am. You disappointed?"

House grinned, "I remember a time it was you who had a problem keeping your hands off of me."

Cameron laughed, "Yeah, well that time has passed I'm with Robert now."

House cringed, "Robert sounds so... boring. Call him Chase, it sound more interesting."

"Most people like it when you call them by their first name, Gregory." Cameron said with a raised eyebrow.

House rolled himself close to her, "Most people are boring Allison." He saw the surprise in her eyes, "Does it make you feel closer to me when I call you by your first name? Is that what you were hoping I would do on our date?" He asked as his eyes searched hers.

Cameron swallowed, "No, I was just hoping you would let me in."

"No you weren't," House said calmly.

Cameron sighed, "I told you what I wanted, but since you think you know everything, you can't except that maybe, just maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do House."

House smiled, "I know that it didn't matter if I let you in because I did... and it didn't change anything."

Cameron shook her head, "No you didn't all you did was insult me."

"I told you I knew I was broken, damaged goods. How many people do you think I've admitted that to?" House said truthfully.

Cameron blinked as she thought about what House said, "Then why did you say you thought I just wanted you because you were damaged, was that to push me away?"

"No, I said that because I couldn't see any other reason someone like you would want to be with someone like me." House said honestly.

Cameron looked a him and then it hit her, "Wow... you really don't see what others see in you." House swallowed as his eyes showed a slight insecurity. "I just thought you were trying to be cruel, but you... you think that little of yourself. House you're handsome,"

"I'm below average at best," He answered.

"You're body is in good shape," She said with a raised eyebrow.

"And covered with hideous scars," House said with a frown.

"You're passionate and even when you try to hide it, you care," Cameron said looking in his eyes.

"I'm reckless, insensitive, and everyone hates me," House said.

"No they don't, just because you hate yourself doesn't mean everyone else does." Cameron said and could tell by the look on his face she had nailed it. "House, you're amazing just as you are and your mind... is uniquely fascinating. It wouldn't have matter if I didn't found you hot, sexy, honest and compassionate. You're mind would have been enough for me even without all the rest."

House felt the tension in the room as they looked at one another, "But that doesn't matter now because you're with Chase."

"You're right," Cameron said and looked away from him, "it doesn't matter. And you're taken anyways right?"

It took House a second to get over the initial shock of the question, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Cameron smiled and looked back at him, "I see the way you two look at each other. A blind person could see there's something between Cuddy and you."

House grinned, "Well sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not seeing anyone."

Cameron smirked, "Maybe you're not, but I know from experience that you don't have to be dating someone to love them."

House had said all he wanted about the subject, "How are you liking the ER?"

"It's great. There's always something to do, plenty of patients. I've found that having a lot of patients helps me not to get overly attached to individuals." She said with a sigh, "How do you like your new team?"

House shrugged, "They're good. Individually they were great doctors, but none of them have been challenged on the level that my patients challenge a doctor, so they're learning."

Cameron looked surprised, "I expected you to call them all idiots."

House smirked, "If I really thought they were idiots do you think they would still be working for me?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Then why call them idiots?"

"Why did I call you an idiot?" House asked then smiled, "It pushes them to be better, think harder. They have plenty of other people in their life that tell them how great they are, and if someone doesn't knock them down a notch they will get arrogant and suddenly the few that they lose wont matter amongst the many they've saved."

"Arrogant... hmm, I believe that term has been used to describe you by almost everyone, and no one can save them all House." Cameron said.

"To say I'm arrogant is to say that I think I'm better, or smarter than I actually am. You've worked with me a number of years, do you really think I'm arrogant? And people who accept the fact that you can't save everyone is the reason I have my patients. What makes me great at Diagnostics isn't my IQ, which is remarkable on it's own, it's because I don't allow my self the comfort that losing a few is to expected, I push myself harder than that." House said seriously.

"I use to think you were arrogant, then I watched you work. You pushed yourself harder than you ever did us and you're a great doctor. I struggled a long time with the idea if you were arrogant or if you were just that good and confident, until I asked myself a question. If one of my parents, or me were sick and our doctors didn't know why, who would I go to, and without hesitation the answer was you." Cameron said then smiled, "It's annoying to see someone be as good as you are House and it's hard to not feel some resentment."

House swallowed uncomfortably, the way she was looking at him with those sparkling eyes and a warm smile made him feel uneasy. That wasn't the way people were suppose to look at him, or suppose to say about him without sarcasm so he decide it was time to get away from personal conversation. "You want to watch some monster trucks?" he asked.

Cameron laughed, "Yeah," she said knowing all to well that changing topics was House's way of saying that he was getting uncomfortable, "hey how do you feel about pizza."

House smiled, "I thought you would never ask."

Wilson could hear a commotion as he walked up to the door and tried to open it with as little noise as possible. He peeked in to see House pumping his fist in the air while Cameron had her hands over her face saying, "no."

Suddenly both of House's hands went up into the air, "Boo Yah! Yesss, you were just crushed, now pay up."

Wilson smiled while shaking his head as he saw Cameron open her purse and hand him some money. "Let me guess, he hasn't been good."

Cameron looked over at Wilson with a smile, "He's been fun and he even ate half a pizza."

Wilson looked at the table suddenly his smile faded, "And beer," he said looking at House.

"Oh... it was just one, lighten up," House said still smiling.

Wilson walked over to House, "I'm not going to lighten up. You aren't suppose to have any alcohol with your medications."

Cameron felt the tension in the room gather as the two men locked eyes. Wilson was acting as if House was his kid or something, which wasn't completely unusual, but he'd taken it a step farther when he'd stalked up to House glaring down at him with his hands on his hips. The was one show down Cameron didn't want to get in the middle of, "I'll see you both Monday," she said grabbing her stuff and quickly vanishing. House started to roll away.

"Hey, we're not done talking," Wilson said standing in front of him

House's looked up at him with irritation, "You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. You aren't my parents, now get the hell out of my way."

"You were released from the hospital in my care, so actually I do. I'm not the bad guy here, House. You are the one that broke the rules," Wilson said standing his ground.

"Rules and me don't get along. All I was doing was trying to have a little fun, and I was succeeding until you got here," House said looking up at him with disappointment.

It hurt Wilson to hear that House didn't want him here. It wasn't something he'd really ever heard from him, if anything he was the one that usually got tired of House's antics. And he it had been nice coming home to find House out of the daze of the medication and happy, but he'd broken a rule. That couldn't just be ignored, he sighed, "I want you to have fun House."

"Then why did you act like that, yeah I had a beer, but I also ate half a pizza. It's not like I had a six pack or was drunk when you came in." House said still pissed.

Wilson grabbed House's shoulder as he passed in hopes of stopping him and talking this out, "House..."

House threw his hand off him, and his body began to tremble, "Keep you fucking hands to yourself. How many times do I have to tell you not to touch me?" He said loudly giving Wilson a daring look.

Wilson swallowed, "Sorry, maybe you're right, maybe I over reacted."

"You always over react," House said looking away.

Wilson sighed, "I get it, this is because I did it front of her."

House looked up, "She was my employee, it's already embarrassing enough that you've been having them watch me. I'm not your kid or some wife you can boss around like you've been trying to do ever since I got out of the hospital. I've tried holding my tongue because your my only friend but I'm a grown ass man, not some child Wilson and I'm not going to be treated like one here or anywhere else."

Wilson raised an eyebrow, "Has it ever occurred to you that if you just followed the rules I wouldn't feel the need to treat you like a child."

House narrowed his eyes, "The first thing you said through the door was 'Let me guess, he hasn't been good.' You telling me that how you usually speak about your adult male friends?"

Wilson nodded, "Okay, you're right I'm not treating you like I usually do, but at the same time things aren't the same as they usually are. We don't usually live together, and... the things that have happened here, at the hospital, and that night at your house changed things."

"No they didn't," House said with frustration.

Wilson could tell House wanted to believe that so much, "Well it did for me, it changed our relationship and the way I see you."

"What do you mean by that?" House asked as he looked at Wilson.

Wilson sighed, "When I first saw you after... what they did, I didn't think you'd make it through the night, but you did and it made me realize how important you were to me. And out of all the people you could have called, you called me. House we're more than friends, we're like family and it took what happened to make me see that. I've found out that you are stronger than I every thought and at the same time that what makes you that way... is for most people unimaginable. I... wish there was some way I could erase what's happened to you, but I can't, all I can do is try to make sure nothing else does."

House swallowed, "Wilson, you've always been family to me, I'm serious about that, and I get that my life hasn't been easy, but I don't want that to change us. I've gone through a lot lately and I know it hasn't been easy for you to see that, but right now I don't need some kind of guardian, Wilson. All I need is a friend who I can have fun with and try not to focus on that night and what all I've lost because of it."

"What would you have done if it had happened to me, the attack, the things you said during the night terrors what if it had been me?" Wilson asked.

House's eyes darkened, "The last guy wouldn't still be breathing, but that's different. You're a good person, you wouldn't have deserve it."

Wilson was worried, "Quit saying that. You didn't deserve this House or the things that have happened to you in the past."

"That's your opinion," House stated, "I know something though, if this had happened to you and you were living with me I wouldn't be so up tight and I would give you your personal space," he said as he used he's hand in order to try to indicate a perimeter and hit Wilson's hip

Wilson noticed how close he'd been standing to keep House from escaping and took a step back, "Point taken."


	50. Chapter 50: Work as Normal

The weekend went by without incident although House was on edge some and the shakes returned from time to time they didn't fight about anything an he seemed to be doing a lot better than Wilson had thought he would be. House had spent the time between reading on old files and medical books in the morning and watching TV at night.

House woke up Monday morning and took his medications then got dressed in a pair of black track pants and a shirt that said 'I'm with stupid' that had arrows pointing to both sides. House grabbed a granola bar in the kitchen and waited for Wilson to get done blow drying his hair. When Wilson came out he smiled down at House, "You ready for this?" he asked handing House his back pack.

"I'm ready, quit worrying," House said grabbing his large tennis balls and stuffing them in his backpack as well.

"Alright, then let's go," Wilson said grabbing his briefcase and opening the door.

They both entered the building ten minutes till eight and Wilson felt better about finally having House back at work, they were greeted by Cuddy who was wearing a delightfully tight purple skirt suit with a low hanging cream blouse.

"Rough!" House barked looking at her ass.

Cuddy gave him a patronizing smile, "I'm glad to see you approve of my wardrobe today House, it means everything to me."

House smirked, "This wheelchair has it's perks, but then again, now I can't see down your shirt." he said giving a slight pout.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Oh my god the tragedy, how will you ever learn to cope."

Wilson smiled at the normalcy of the conversation, "I'm going up to my office and let you two do what you usually do."

House rolled in Cuddy's office with her following him. "So what new and exciting cases do you have for me Dr. Cuddy," He said as he wheeled back and forth on only the back wheels.

"Here," Cuddy said picking up a file from her desk and tossing it to House.

He looked it over and looked back up irritation, "I don't think so," he said tossing it back.

"Well that's all I had so you can either do that or get caught up on your paperwork," She said with a smile sitting on her desk.

"It's a cold, it's a waste of both me and my teams time, and you know it," House said back with contempt.

Cuddy tried to look innocent, "I don't know what it is, I haven't even seen the guy, it could be anything."

He studied her with disappointment on his face, "Why are you doing this?"

Cuddy sighed, "I want to see how you handle a light day before I give you a busy one. I already let you come back before the doctor recommended, I'm just trying to make sure that it was the right decision for the patients as well as for you."

"So, you don't trust me," House said flatly as his eyes became guarded.

She looked at him and could tell he was pulling away and shutting her out. She couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice as she talked to him, "Don't make this into something it's not. You think you'll be okay, but we both know there's a chance you wont be, so please, just take the case and have a nice relaxing day."

"What about the clinic?" He asked narrowing his eyes on her, "Don't you want me to work a couple of hours in there?"

Cuddy looked down and swallowed, "You can't work the clinic until you are completely over the PTSD. I can't have you in a small inclosed room with only you and a patient. You don't touch anyone without someone else with you."

House's eyes were boring into her at the implication, "You think I'd hurt someone?"

Cuddy looked up to see his eyes angry and she swallowed, "You hurt Wilson, didn't you."

He's face showed a glimpse of hurt before his eyes became cold and his face turned relaxed and emotionless, "That was the medicine."

Cuddy walked over to him, "House there's no way of knowing if that was just the medicine or not and this Hospital doesn't need anymore lawsuits. I know you didn't mean too, but I can't take the risk and neither will the board."

"What do you mean by the board?" He asked looking at her and then his eyes narrowed slightly, "What did you tell them?"

"You've been gone for a month House, people can't take that long off unless they put in for it a month in advance, with out the board approval. I had to tell the board you were attacked and hospitalized." She said as she played with her bracelet and looked anywhere but at House.

"But that's not all you told them, was it," He said bitterly as his cold eyes stayed on her.

Cuddy swallowed, "If a doctor is exhibiting symptoms of a disease or disorder that could effect patients or patient care, I'm obligated to report it, so I told them about you being diagnosed with PTSD and they wanted to know if you had any physical injuries, so I told them about you breaking your leg and that you had some burns since it would be obvious when you came back to work." She couldn't help but look at his neck when she mentioned the burns, and when she looked up she saw his cold eyes. "I was just following policy House."

"Of course, I wouldn't want you to bending the rules," House said coldly, "Anything else I should know?"

"No that's it," she said looking at him with regret, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to tell them."

"Well I better go, who knows what could be wrong with Mr. Sniffles, I'd hate for it to be fatal," He said taking the file.

"Just try and take it easy House," Cuddy said pleadingly.

"I'll see what I can do," House said with a fake smile and rolled out of her office.

As soon as House rolled behind his seat Wilson came in through the balcony door and House jerked looking back at him, then looked back at the desk, "You could have given me a heads up about Cuddy telling the whole board my personal life."

Wilson sighed and walked around to sit in one of the chairs, "She didn't tell them everything, just what she had to and what would have been apparent as soon as they saw you."

"What happened with bro's before ho's, Cuddy let you see her tits?" House asked condescendingly as he studied the file as if it was interesting.

"Yes actually, you know me, a good pair of knockers go a long way," Wilson said sarcastically to which House looked up at him with warning eyes. "I'm joking, and I'm not going to be mad at her for doing her job and trying to protect you. You could have been fired for missing that long if she hadn't handled like she did."

"I have tenure, I wasn't going to be fired," House snapped.

"Yes you do, and in that contract it stipulates how you must request for time off. Give her a break on this House, she was only trying to help," He said as he looked at House with those sad puppy dog eyes.

House hated when Wilson looked at him like that, it reminded him of Rocket and made him feel bad for what had happened to him, "Alright, I'll give her a break," he said looking back at his file to break eye contact with Wilson, "you want to do lunch?"

"Sure, just come over and get me when your ready," Wilson said happy to have been able to get through to House.

House was waiting in the DDX room when the team arrived, with a copy of their patients file for each of them and the symptoms written on the white board which were, coughing, fever, watery eyes, and difficulty breathing through nose. "Welcome, welcome my fine doctors, Cuddy has given us one of the hardest cases of our careers so everyone put on your thinking caps."

Kutner looked at House with confusion, "So you're excited that Cuddy is sticking us with a patient who has a cold."

"A cold? I mean it could be, but I don't think so," House said with a frown. "Cuddy is a professional and she knows that this team is used to solve only the most confusing and complex cases, she wouldn't just waste our time on a COLD."

Taulb rolled his eyes, "Great, just what I was hoping for, a day fighting the good fight between you and Cuddy."

"Look at this as an opportunity to be thorough and look at the ordinary in an extraordinary way," House said with a smile, "I'll go first, SARS fits just as easily."

"Pneumonia," Thirteen threw out.

"See I knew there was a reason I kept you around. Good, we can test for both bacterial and chemical Pneumonia." House said rolling to the white board and writing the list.

Foreman looked at the list, "It could be Tuberculosis."

"Ah, the old TB, good... next," House said writing it down.

"Sarcoidosis," Kutner said looking at the list.

"This is stupid, and Sarcoidosis doesn't usually present with a fever," Taulb said condescendingly.

"He's a genius and I've personally seen Sarcoidosis with a fever, remember usually doesn't always apply to us. So short one, you have anything better?" House asked looking over at him.

"Put me down for Pertussis," Taulb said frowning.

"Whooping cough for Taulb," House said writing it down and then looking up at the list. "Looks like a good start, I want you as a team to test for everyone of these."

"SARS was your idea, I think you should do the testing," Foreman said with a smile.

House smiled, "Sorry, Cuddy won't let me play with the patients."

"What do you mean?" Thirteen asked with concern.

House sighed and looked at them, "Evidently Cuddy and the Board don't think it's wise to leave me alone in a room with a patient on the account I have PTSD which means I could just loose it. Since I just got back I figure I'll give her what she wants on the patients, for now."

"That's bullshit," Kutner said watching him.

"Life is bullshit, now go and run tests," House said watching them as they piled out.

By lunch time Wilson and House were in the cafeteria, "So how does it feel to be back?" Wilson asked as he watched House take one of his fries.

"It' better than just sitting around at your apartment. Your place is so boring, no porn, no video games, all the alcohol is put up where I can't reach it,and on top of all of that you internet isn't even good. So it's better than that but I'm already getting tired of the stares I'm getting," House said looking around slightly.

Wilson was about to rebut, but then he looked around and noticed eyes just shifting from House to him giving sympathetic looks. He looked back at House and gave a small shrug, "It'll die down after a little time, it's only your first day back."

"You're always the optimist Jimmy, the dumb, naive optimist," House said with a smile.

"Surprisingly that part of my charm. Plus if I wasn't so nice and optimistic then we wouldn't balance each other out so well," Wilson retorted. "How's your patient?"

House saw Cuddy marching up to him and looked down.

"Dr. House, can you explain to my why Mr. Garrett had to get a Lumbar Puncture?" Cuddy said obviously fuming.

"I had to rule out SARS, wouldn't want to get this wrong being my first case back and all," House said with a snide smile.

"And the CT?" Cuddy said screeched.

"Sarcoidosis, nasty disease, just trying to make sure I'm thorough, you understand," House said still smiling even thought her screaming was making him more edgy.

"Are you planing to pay for all these useless tests?" She asked leaning down over the table.

House kept his smile in place, "Nope, he has insurance, he'll be fine."

"YOU ASS..." Cuddy started as she raised the file to hit him with.

"NO PLEASE STOP!" House screamed with panic as his arms came up to shield himself.

It was as if time stopped every eye was on him, Cuddy put down the file with a stunned and regretful face, while Wilson sighed with pity in his eyes, "House, it's fine." House met his eyes and shook his head then quickly started to roll away, which seemed to take forever as he saw them all watching him with shocked expressions and his face grew redder. He wasn't sure where he was going all he knew is he wanted to get away from everyone as fast as possible. Wilson stood up, "Don't you people have more important things going on in your life?" he said loudly and watched them turn away and start talking. He looked to see Cuddy, but discovered she had went after House and gathered up their food since House hadn't eaten much before the scene.

Cuddy didn't have a hard time finding House the sound of someone beating the crap out of the wall pretty much gave it away. She walked in the empty patient room and just stood there as she saw him hit the gurney in the room. When he had finally tired out or calmed down, she didn't know which, she sighed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean too... you know."

House jumped as he looked up to see her, then looked back down. "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at this!" he said looking down at his shaking arms. "You acted normally, it's me that acted like some sorority girl in a bad thriller movie."

"You couldn't help it and I should have thought before I did that," She said softly.

Wilson opened the door and walked in, "You okay?" he asked with a plastic sack with the remains of their lunch.

House looked down in shame, "I'm fine," he said, his voice heavy with disappointment still shaking.

Wilson glared at Cuddy, "Well now everyone will know who's boss, won't they."

Cuddy frowned, "I didn't mean too."

"It's... not her... fault... that I'm... fucked up... right now!" House snapped at Wilson.

Wilson watched House taking ragged breaths and shaking, "Come on I'll take you home."

House looked up at him, "I'm... not... going... home... I can... handle it," he said trying to calm down.

Wilson looked at Cuddy, "Just so you know there's a rumor going around that you're the one that beat the crap out him."

House started laughing, and Cuddy looked at Wilson with shock, "What? You've gotta be kidding."

"Nope, I over heard a couple of tables saying that it made since why you were gone so much and why you would be talking to the police with House. I'm guessing someone from New Jersey Medical said something, and Mayes found out." Wilson said watching her with only a little sympathy.

House was still laughing, "Oh, can you imagine what's in their heads. Cuddy dressed in some sexy leather dominatrix outfit with little old me wearing some mid-evil chain collar."

"House, this isn't funny, they think I seriously hurt you," Cuddy said with worry.

"It's kind of funny," He said with a smirk.

"You better watch out before I decide to act on those rumors," Cuddy said bending down to look him in the eye.

"The only way you could hurt me is if I let you, I think I proved that last time you decided to tie me up don't you," House said softly with a smirk leaning forward in the chair so he was only a couple of inches from her face.

Cuddy felt her body tingle at his proximity and knew he was challenging her and wasn't going to give in, "Getting a good view there Greg?"

House's eye shot from her breasts to her eyes at the mention of his name, "Why are your nipples so hard Cuddy, thinking of me got you all ready to go?" He said with challenging eyes.

Cuddy laughed, "Like you would do anything if it did," she said her eyes running up and down his body, "you've been running scared of me for weeks now."

"I believe rolling scared would fit better, and I'm not scared of you," House said with certainty.

"Really?" Cuddy said as she leaned just a breath from his ear, "You sure about that?"

Wilson saw House's hands hovering just inches from her legs, "Should I leave?"

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on House, "Saved by the Wilson," she said with a smirk.

House smiled, "Just so we're clear, you're the one that chickened out that time."

Cuddy stood up, "You want me to get down and dirty with you in the Hospital with Wilson watching?"

"Ohhh, don't use the hospital as an excuse, it wouldn't be the first time we went at it here," House said with a grin.

"I really didn't need to know that," Wilson said taking a step back from them.

"And Wilson's my best bud, I wouldn't care if he watched. Hell, maybe he could pick up some tips," House said smiling bigger.

Cuddy shook her head, "I don't know why I'm surprised you have no shame."

House was in thought, "Explain something to me, your the Dean of Medicine, so isn't it against policy for you to bonk another employee at the Hospital during work hours?" Cuddy stared at him. "I'll take that as a yes, so why is it okay to break that policy and but it isn't okay for you not to report my PTSD?"

"What we didn't wasn't planned, it just happened, and I'm sorry it did," Cuddy said with irritation that seemed to melt when she saw the hurt in his eyes. "I don't mean I regret what we did, I regret where we did it."

House looked down, "Still I didn't hear you telling everyone about that."

"That's personal," Cuddy said quickly.

"And me having PTSD isn't?" House quipped back.

Cuddy sighed, "You'd get into trouble too, if I told."

"No I wouldn't," House said flatly.

"Yes you would, it states it in your contract," Cuddy said with a smile.

House grinned, "Not in my contract, I'm positive."

"House the hospital lawyers looked over it, it's in there," She said with her hands on her hip.

"Wasn't Stacy working here then?" House said watching her jaw fall, "She helped me write my proposal contract and then she's the one that went over it and told you it was fine. You really think she's going to point out a clause that allows me to bonk her at work?"

"Whoa, you have it in your contract that you can have sex at work and not get in trouble," Wilson said smiling.

"Actually I think the words were that I could not be punished for my shows of affection and love at work under any circumstances unless someone was harmed directly in the process." House stated, "I'm pretty sure the last part was in there so I wouldn't get pissed and knock out one of the guys she was screwing and then claim it was an act to show my affections."

Cuddy looked down, "So you want me to tell the board about our indiscretion?"

House looked back at her, "No... we both know you'll never tell anyone about our relationship."

Cuddy could hear a hint of bitterness in his voice, "What's that suppose to mean?"

"Take it how like," House said rolling to the door.

"Where are you going?" Cuddy asked.

House smiled back at her, "Work, still have a lot of tests to run."

"No more tests, I got the point. I won't waste your time tomorrow if you stop wasting this guys money today." Cuddy said watching him.

"Fine," House said and rolled out quickly.

Wilson started to follow but Cuddy put her hand on his arm stopping him. "What did he mean?" she asked.

"What do you think he meant?" Wilson said condescendingly.

Cuddy frowned, "I told Martha."

"Oh yeah Martha! Just out of curiosity how long have you two been close friends?" Wilson said with a smile, "Do you two visit often, talk on the phone, text, email, maybe catch up on facebook?"

"So who was I suppose to tell exactly?" Cuddy asked with irritation.

Wilson sighed, "Why do you think House told me?"

"You're his only other friend," Cuddy said flatly.

"He told me because what happened was important to him, so he told someone that was equally important to him. So if the only person you told was Martha... it logically means one of two things, that what happened between you two wasn't very important to you, or that you were to ashamed of him to tell anyone significant in your life." Wilson said with a frown, "I don't really think it matters which to House either way it hurts."

"He broke up with me, remember," She said with contempt.

"Believe me I'll always remember that day, I've never seen a man more broken," Wilson said with narrowed eyes.

Cuddy crossed her arms, "You know I'm not the one that did this to him right? I understand that every time you see him it hurts you and that when he gets upset you want to protect him, but Wilson I'm not the enemy here. I feel the same way you do about him, but I'm not going to let you treat me like shit because I'm an easy target. We broke up, it was his decision and it didn't just hurt him."

Wilson stood there thinking and Cuddy started to walk by him and he stopped her, "You're right, I'm sorry. It's just every time he get's scared I just want to beat something with my fists until its dead and cry all at the same time," he said with watery eyes.

Cuddy nodded, "I know," she said and hugged him, "I just wish I could kill those bastards all over again." She said and swallowed as her eyes watered too.

He hugged her tight, "I just hope I can keep it together long enough to get him through this. He can't handle anything else going wrong right now."

Cuddy leaned back from the hug and looked at him with worried eyes, "What else could go wrong?"

Wilson looked down, "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Cuddy grabbed his shirt, "Wilson, I know he doesn't want to tell me what's going on, but I might be able to help if I just knew."

Wilson shook his head, "Cuddy you can't help, just like I can't help. I should go, I need to make sure he eats the rest of his lunch."


	51. Chapter 51: Strip off the Stress

Wilson went to House's office looking for him and sighed when he walked in to find the office empty. Then went to his office which was also empty and sat down on the couch to try and think of all the places he might be. He was making a mental list when he glanced out the glass door and saw House out on the balcony. Wilson got up and walked out on it and then hopped the barrier and looked at House who was looking out at the sky. "It's a pretty day," Wilson said casually looking up.

"Yeah," House said looking up with a frown.

"Here, you forgot your lunch in the Cafeteria," Wilson said handing him the sack.

"Along with my pride, I think I'd rather have it back," House said looking at the sack.

Wilson sat on the barrier between their balconies, "So your plan is to hide out here all day?"

House was quite for a moment as he thought. He'd hoped if he went to work like normal and acted normal everything would just fade back into what his life was like before the men had broken into his home and done this to him, that's how he'd worked through his PTSD in the Marines. Now he wasn't sure what to do, all he knew was that he didn't want to be around everyone right now, he just wanted some time to think and relax, "It was either here or your office, I figured you'd rather me be out here."

Wilson could see the struggle on House's face as he'd been thinking and shrugged, "You can stay in my office if you want."

House rolled his eyes, "You're such an enabler."

"Don't act like you mind," Wilson said with a smile.

"You know what would really take my mind off of everything? A strip bar." House said wagging his eyebrows.

"Not going to happen House," Wilson said looking down at the plastic sack, "You need to eat the rest of your lunch."

"Why not? It's not like we haven't gone to strip bars before?" House whined.

Wilson sighed, "I'm dating someone House, and you have burns on 30% of your body, the last thing you need is to go to a germ ridden strip bar and get an infection."

"You've gone to strip bars when you were married, and you act like I'll be sitting there naked. I wont even be getting out of my wheelchair, so the likelihood of me catching something is pretty much nil." House said honestly.

Wilson thought about it for a minute, "And if one of the girls touches you and you freak out?"

"I'll just tell them not to touch me, that I like to be teased." House said knowing he was winning.

Wilson looked down at the plastic sack, "You eat the rest of your lunch and we'll go to the strip bar after work."

House opened up the sack and then the foam container inside of it and looked at the burger with only two bites missing and the fries. "I'm really not that hungry," he said looking at the food.

"I know, but you need to eat, you just ate a granola bar for breakfast," Wilson said watching him.

House took a bite of burger and then ate a couple of fries, "So, how long do you think it'll be before I can eat in the Cafeteria again?"

Wilson shrugged, "You can eat in there whenever you want, but I think the incident will die down in a couple of days."

Cuddy had noticed the looks she was getting from most of the staff and everyone she'd talked to had been eager to do what she asked or get her the reports she requested. Even thought she hated what they were all thinking of her, she had to admit that it was nice having everyone going out of their way to get her what she needed.

Cuddy spotted Cameron and walked over to her, "I was just needing last months reports and was wondering if you were finished with them yet?"

Cameron looked up at Cuddy and back down at a chart, "Nope."

The shortness of Cameron's answer let Cuddy know something was up, "Well do you know when you might be done with them? I need them to compile quarterly reports."

Cameron smiled as she looked back up at Cuddy, "I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I'm done with them, I wouldn't want to get a beating."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "You and me both know I didn't do that to him."

Cameron wanted to yell at Cuddy for what she'd done. House had been through so much lately she didn't see how Cuddy could have acted that way to him. She thought about House and tried to keep his cool and emotionless demeanor as she talked, "Maybe not, but you knew he was suffering from PTSD, and you still went after him in a crowded place screaming and hitting him with a file. You knew what would happen, is that why you did it? Not only did you get to yell at him but humiliate him in front of most of the hospital staff, that should put him in his place, make him think next time he pisses you off." Cameron said with calmly with a bit of anger showing.

Cuddy had a snide grin of her face, "Wow, you're still not over him are you? I thought that working in a different department and being in a committed relationship would have been enough, but you're still keeping that flame alive even thought, from what I've heard he's never shown you the slightest interest." The smile on her face was her way of say 'he's mine bitch, back off.'

Cameron smiled, "I'm just a friend defending a friend, but it's interesting you would think I'd have other motivations, because if there is someone here that House has made his interests known about it would be you. The way he watches you, and is always seeking your attention, good or bad, just to have you chase him down. He's like a school boy pulling on your pigtails, the only real question is if you care about him at all." Cameron said looking at her with searching eyes hoping to see at least a fraction of the love in Cuddy's eyes that she saw in House's when he was talking to Cuddy.

"Whatever goes on between Dr. House and myself are none of your business Dr. Cameron," Cuddy said in an authoritative tone.

Cameron was disappointed by the lack of emotion in Cuddy's face and voice, "He loves you, I can see that, so my advice is just to stay away. It's pretty clear you don't feel the same way about him, and you're going to end up hurting him more than those men ever could if you play with him. He isn't as inhuman as he wants everyone to believe. That's not from your employee, that's from a women that's loved the man who's heart you are playing with."

Cuddy couldn't believe Cameron had the audacity to talk to her about her theories on House at work. She narrowed her eye's on her, "I'm not playing with him."

"Really, so you're in love with him?" Cameron asked and watched as Cuddy said nothing not even a blink, "If you're not in love with him, your playing with him Lisa and in the end you're going to tear him apart, not that you care."

Cuddy licked her lips, "When will you have the report to me?"

"Tomorrow morning," Cameron said.

"Great, I'll talk to you later Dr. Cameron," Cuddy said walking away.

House and Wilson were leaving the balcony heading to Wilson's office when House's team started rolling in, and he waved Wilson on.

They all were looking at him, "We heard about the cafeteria," Thirteen said with worry.

"I've been saying the meat wasn't real for years," House said seriously and looked at the testing results.

"Are you sure you're ready to be back, no one would hold it against you if you took a couple more weeks, you weren't suppose to come back for at least another month." Foreman said with serious concern.

House didn't look up, "Wow, all those test and nothing! I feel just terrible about putting him through all of that just to prescribe him so cold medicine, and evidently so does Cuddy. She's promising no more lame patients... well lame patients in the since they might not be able to move, but not lame diagnoses, which is what really matters here."

"You screamed like a scared girl in the cafeteria in front of everyone because Cuddy yelled at you and raised her hand. Do you really expect us to just pretend that didn't happen?" Taulb asked tilting his head.

"It wasn't like a girl, whoever you heard that from was exaggerating," House said putting down the file.

"Actually it was like girl, Taulb and me were in the cafeteria," Kutner said looking at House with down cast eyes.

House chewed on his lip and ran a hand threw his hair.

"I talked to a shrink about my infidelity, she was great. Her name is Susan Porter, here's her card, please use it." Taulb said with a sad smile.

House took the card, "She must have been so good since you haven't even thought about cheating on your wife since, oh wait you have. Hmm, call a bad therapist and from what I can see," House said looking at Taulb, "be no better off, or just suck it up."

"PTSD isn't a medical condition, it's emotional, talking about it could help," Kutner said truthfully.

"Have any of you ever had PTSD?" House asked looking around the room, "No? Then go prescribe our patient some cough drops and rest, and leave me alone about the PTSD."

Everyone got up and left except Foreman, "I know you don't like taking help from people, but if you need anything we're all here for you House, all you have to do is ask."

"Great, Cuddy is on my ass about filling out some paperwork on some old cases, when you and the team get back it would help me if you would get those filled out. I'll be Wilson's office if you need me." House said.

Foreman stood up, "Okay, I'll make sure it gets done."

House watched him leave a little surprised Foreman had agreed and then wheeled himself into Wilson's office.

Wilson looked up from his files, "So had news hit them?"

House sighed, "Taulb and Kutner were in the cafeteria when it happened, so yeah."

"What did they say?" Wilson asked watching House roll over to the couch.

House stood up and bit his lip at the pain of having all his weight on his right leg and laid down on the couch, "Same crap, talk to someone, are you sure you're ready to be back, we're here for you bullshit."

"Man I don't know how you put up with those assholes," Wilson said sarcastically. "So did you put them in their place or what?"

House closed his eyes, "Told them to leave me alone about it, and got Foreman and the team to get the paperwork done Cuddy's been wanting to me to finish for the last six months. I told them I'd be in here if they needed me."

"Hey, did you take you medicine after you ate?" Wilson asked as House gritted his teeth some.

House shook his head, "I forgot it's in my backpack."

Wilson got up and took the backpack off the wheelchair. House opened his eyes, "Just hand it to me, I'll get it." Wilson did and House fished it out.

"Here," Wilson said handing him a bottle of water, "I hate watching you dry swallow them."

House took the medicine and soon was fast asleep on the couch.

A couple of hours later Cuddy knocked on Wilson's door. Wilson got up looking back to make sure House was still asleep and opened his office door.

Cuddy smiled, "Hi was just wondering if..." but she stopped as she saw House on the couch over his shoulder.

Wilson looked back at House and then at her, "Did you need to talk to him?"

Cuddy just kept looking at House, "How is he?"

"He'll make it," Wilson said opening up the door, "it's just been a rough first day back."

She walked in and over to House, "Cameron thinks I did it to him on purpose in the cafeteria."

Wilson sighed, "Don't let her get to you."

"She say's that I'm playing with his heart and that I'm going to end up hurting him worst than those men did, she said I'd tear him apart." Cuddy said looking at House with worry.

"She's jealous that House cares about you and isn't afraid to show it. She wanted to believe that the only reason he didn't make a go of her is because he's so broken he couldn't, now she has to accept that he just didn't love her. As long as you are honest with him and yourself you don't have anything to worry about, if you two ever get a shot again, that is." Wilson said putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I miss him so much," She said looking at him.

Wilson nodded, "Me too, all I want to do is have a night of my friend making fun of me while drinking beer and watching fighting."

Cuddy smiled, "I never thought there would be a day I'd be happy to have him barge into my office, it's just not the same in the wheelchair."

Wilson sat down at his desk, "Maybe someday things will be normal again and you won't be too afraid to admit you love the jerk."

Cuddy looked up at Wilson, "Who said I love him?"

Wilson smiled, "Cuddy this is the first time you've taken your eyes off him since you spotted him."

Cuddy looked back at House, "I don't know, I know I care about him a lot but what if that's not enough. I mean what's the difference between caring a lot and loving someone?"

Wilson shrugged, "If I knew the answer to that maybe I wouldn't have been married and divorced three times."

"He said he loved me, do you think he meant it," She asked.

"Yeah, I do," he said with a sad smile.

"His beard is getting to be ridiculous, and his hair is getting long," Cuddy said her hand hovering just above it.

"I know at some point I've got to take him to get a hair cut and get him to trim up the beard," Wilson said with a frown as he imagined how that would go over with House.

Cuddy let her fingertips barely touch his hair, "I could take him, or I wouldn't mind coming over sometime when you go on a date with Megan."

Wilson smiled knowingly, "Yeah, you're totally not falling for him."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on Wilson, "Shut up," she said looking back at House, "he doesn't make it easy on a girl."

Wilson let out a small laugh, "If you haven't noticed he doesn't make it easy on anyone, even himself."

Cuddy got up, "When he wakes up tell him there are a stack of patients files on his desk for him to look through."

"He heard you, he's been awake for the last minute or two," Wilson said looking at his paperwork.

Cuddy looked down at House who now had his eyes open, "You're an ass."

House smiled, "Like you would have it any other way. If you want to spend so time with me all you have to do is ask."

"I don't want it to awkward," She said looking down at him.

House pulled himself into a sitting position with a grimace, "You said we're friends, friends hang out. You don't have to have an excuse to spend time with me, but if you need one, you could always cut my hair. I figured there's less of a chance with me freaking out with you as long as you're not screaming at me, and if I do, you'll know how to handle it."

Cuddy was surprised, "You'd trust me to cut your hair?"

House moved his right leg trying to get the stiffness out, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Fine, I'll be over tomorrow to hang out and cut your hair," She said as if it wasn't any big deal.

"Sounds good," House said looking up at her.

Cuddy nodded and left.

After work Wilson and House got in the car and House told him were to go, they ended up at a mid class Gentlemen Club named Scotch 45. Wilson held the door open for House who wheeled himself up the ramp and into the Club. The place was covered in dark toned woods and low wattage lights except for the stage which had black lights pulsing as woman danced around the five poles. House smiled and rolled over to the bar. "Two Scotches, one on the rock and one plain make them single malt top shelf," he said handing the man forty dollars.

Wilson sighed, "And how many of those do you plan on having tonight?"

House looked at Wilson, "Just one or two, loosen up, let me unwind a little."

"I'm loose," Wilson said defensively looking around, "Want to go to one of the tables?"

House nodded and rolled over to one pulling away the chair, Wilson sat down and looked at the stage, "You been to this one before?"

"No, just heard about it," House said watching the girls dance.

A young woman with blond hair dressed in short leather motorcycle shorts with fish net hose and a short cropped motorcycle jacket just zipped at the bottom revealing a lacy red bra brought out the drinks and put them on the table. "I haven't seen you two here before," She said with watching them closely.

"Is that a problem?" House asked taking a sip of the plain Scotch.

"Listen here Wheels, I own this place and my girls aren't hookers. I don't run this place like most of the clubs around here, no sex in a back room, or bondage shit in the basement. So if that's what you're looking for you can leave, other wise have a good time. Each girl has their own prices for lap dances and such," The blond said.

"Hey, we're not here for trouble just to relax and unwind some, my name is James, this is Greg, and I promise you wont have to worry about us," Wilson said with a warm reassuring smile.

"My name is Alexandra. The strippers on the stage are off limits, the girls walking around are up for grabs for table and lap dances. Tonight is know as fantasy night so the girls wear costumes and will like to play role playing games, but don't forget the golden rule, don't touch the girls unless they ask you too." She said.

"I thought you couldn't touch the girls no matter what," Wilson said surprised.

"I'm not a pimp, I don't have any misconception about owning my girls. If they are okay with it, then I'm not going to say no, as long as it doesn't turn into sex, which it wont. You touch a girl that doesn't want to be touched, she gives one look and both of you are out of here." Alexandra said looking at House's neck then in his eyes, "Like I said no bondage here."

House smiled with narrowed eyes, "I heard you, now can we enjoy ourselves or not?"

Alexandra sighed, "Here's the menu in case you get hungry and we don't keep tabs so you have to pay for your drinks and food as you order them unless you bring your own liquor. Have a good time boys," She said with a smile and left.

House and Wilson looked around the dark room noticing the girls walking around, "She was a little intense, sure this is where you want to be?" Wilson asked looking back at House.

"Yeah, she's just making sure we know the rules," House said smiling at some girls who walked up. One was dressed as Marlin Monroe while the other was was an Asian dressed in wide ribbons covering all her breast and bottom with bows between her breast, one on each hip and one between her legs.

"What are you suppose to be?" House asked.

The Asian girl smiled, "I'm a present, you want to open me up and see whats inside?" she asked seductively.

"How much for a lap dance from both of you?" House asked.

The girls looked at each other and whispered something, then Monroe looked over at him, "40 for a couple of minutes, and eighty for a good time."

House pulled out a hundred, "How about a hundred and you two drag my friend away and give him a good time."

"House, I don't think we should split up..." Wilson started.

While the girls nodded and House handed them the money and they pulled Wilson from his chair one bringing his drink for him off to a more discrete table.

House took another sip of his drink and looked at the girls dancing trying to forget the day.

It wasn't but two minutes later a girl in a spandex nurses uniform walked in front of his him. "You look lonely, want me to dance for you?"

House looked her over, she had dark hair and blue eyes. He swallowed as he thought of a younger Cuddy, "How much?"

She smiled with her red lips shining in the dark light, "What all do you want?"

House looked her over, "Everything comes off, you do a good dance, and also no touching the merchandise, I just got this suit pressed."

"Name's Candy, and I'm all yours for 30, shall we?" She asked walking away and House saw the bottom of the red guarder belt holding up her white stockings.

House took the last sip of his drink and followed her. She lead him to what looked like a cubical, it had walls on both sides and in the back but the front was open, she pulled out a chair that was in it and House rolled back into the spot. He handed her forty and she put it in a pocked on her costume she leaned down to him, "So, let's say that your the mean doctor, and I'm the naughty nurse who has to work her way up the hard way." Candy said with a smile.

House chuckled, "Fine."

"I'm so sorry Doctor it wont happen again, it's just I was so horny I couldn't help but masturbating." She said with biting her bottom lips with big eyes.

House grinned, "I don't care about excuses, just do as I say and I wont report this."

"Okay, I'll do it, whatever you ask, just don't report me sir, I need this job," Candy said getting on her knees and unzipping the top of the dress some.

House licked his lips, "Rub your breasts," he said watching her hands move over her covered breast he smiled.

"You like that Doctor? Tell me what else you want," She said putting her hand on his knee. He pushed it way hard and took some ragged breath. Candy was about to call the guards but noticed the panic in his face, she stood up and saw his arms and hands were shaking some. "You alright?" She asked watching him.

"I... just... I'll... I'll be fine.. just don't touch," He said with worried eyes.

Candy looked him over and bit her lip taking out a pack of cigarettes, "Here, have one," she said holding it out. House looked at it noticing it was hand rolled and took it. "I call it cancer with a kick, it's mainly tobacco but there's some Mary Jane playing around in there too. It'll help calm your nerves." House put one in his mouth and she lit it for him and got an ashtray. "I wasn't going to hurt you," She said softly.

House held a deep puff, "I know, just been though a lot lately, I'll be fine."

"I feel horrible, I thought when you said not to touch, it was a joke. I've never had someone ask me that before. How about you give me an extra sixty and I'll give you our royal treatment package which usually cost one-fifty?" Candy said looking down at him.

"What exactly is the royal treatment?" House asked letting go of his puff.

Candy smiled, "You'll enjoy it more if you let it be a surprise."

House eyed her and she just gave him a wink, "Okay, I'm game as long as you promise to tell me where you got the pot from, this is medicinal grade."

"Deal," She said and he handed her over sixty dollars, "I'll be right back."

House smoked while he waited and she returned with a red headed girl with ponytails and dressed in a trampy Catholic school girl uniform. Candy smiled at him and bent over and the school girl pulled a paddle from her back and gave the nurse a little swat. Candy winked at him and took the paddle from the red head and held it out for him, "Have some fun."

House took the paddle looking at it with interest and the looked up to see the girls rubbing on each other. He put down the paddle and smoked as the girls danced and grinded against one another still in costume. House was feeling relaxed as he watched the girls hands cupping the others curves and giving small hand slaps on the others ass. Then he saw Alexandra come over and hand something to Candy who turned around with a plate and fork with what looked like cut up steak on it. "Open up," she said with a smile.

House did and watched her as she put the fork in his mouth. He pulled off the meat and was surprised when the steak was decent. He chewed it up and she got him a bite of mashed potatoes which he ate up. Then the school girl smiled big as she held an open bottle of red wine, "Here you go, something to wash that down with," she said putting it to his lips and lifting slightly. House took a couple of sips and she pulled it back then Candy came back at him with the steak and potatoes again. It wasn't long before they had stuffed him full. "You enjoying yourself sweet heart?" Candy asked.

House felt warm from the alcohol and relaxed from the weed as he looked at her breast, "I am, now do you get naked?" He asked smiling at her.

"Would you like that?" She asked him seductively handing him another cigarette.

House lit up then nodded and the school girl unzipped the nurses uniform past her breast and squeeze chocolate syrup on them and started licking it off. House smiled as he watched them lick syrup off of each other while getting more and more undressed. When they finally finished House was feeling good and content.

"Looks like you had a good time," Wilson said with a smile.

House looked up at him, "Best strippers ever, how about you?"

Wilson nodded, "I enjoyed myself, you ready to go?"

"Yes, I'm full and feeling good," House said rolling out.


	52. Chapter 52: Claiming the Morning

_House walked into his office to find Cuddy sitting on his desk with her purple suit on and low hanging cream blouse. He sighed with regret as he walked over to her._

"_House, what's wrong?" Cuddy said with some concern in her voice but not her face._

_House looked at her, "This isn't real."_

_Cuddy leaned closer her lips just a breath from his, "How do you know?" He let his cane drop and she looked down to see him standing fine then looked back up to see him staring at the leg with interest as he rubbed it. "Go a head, look," she said softly._

_House looked at her with truthful eyes, "It wont be real."_

"_That's not why you wont look, your afraid, don't be. It's okay, I'm here with you and even if it isn't real at one point it was and maybe some of this will come true someday," she said as her hands undid his belt and jeans. Cuddy smiled as she heard his breath hitch some when he felt her fingernails scratching his skin as she pulled his pants down._

_House looked down at his undamaged thigh and swallowed as his hands ran over the muscle feeling the strength beneath the skin. Apart of him never wanted to leave this place where the pain couldn't find him and he was for once whole again, a complete man. "Why are you doing this to me? You know this will never be like this again," he said searching her eyes._

_Cuddy rubbed her body against his, "Maybe not, but this might be," she whispered giving him a kiss right below his ear._

_House closed his eyes taking in the feel of her body against his, and her lips on him. It was all he could do to breath as he had wanted this so bad._

"_That's it sweetie, don't fight it," she said smoothly going from standing to her knees. House's eyes bolted open as he felt her warm tongue lick his length, and he couldn't help but watch. It had been so long since he had let anyone do that for fear of them seeing his thigh, but now he didn't have to fear that. He bit his lip and grunted as her hot mouth sucked the tip of his dick while her tongue rotated around his head. She worked her mouth on him until he was hard and then pulled this cock out of her mouth and slapped it softly on her cheek some, "How's that feel Greg?"_

_House's hips jerked some as he grabbed her hair and she smiled up at him, "Oh yeah baby, that's what I want to see, be a man and show me how you want it." His hand knotted more in her hair and he put his dick in her mouth and started controlling the blow job by moving her head as he wished. He heard her gag a couple of times and it just agged him on. He watched and knew there was no way for her to take him completely with her mouth and pulled her hair up and she stood before him with a smug grin._

"_Take it off, all of it," he said gruffly._

_Cuddy smiled at him, "I'm not a fucking stripper Greg, you want it off you'll have to take it off yourself, your more than capable."_

_House grinned at her and pulled her jacket off so quick she almost didn't realize what he'd done before he ripped the blouse down the middle. He looked up at her as his teeth grazed her bra and his hand went up her skirt. Cuddy moaned as she grinded against his hand with need. His other hand unhooked her bra and pulled it along with the shredded blouse off her. Cuddy unzipped her skirt and he quickly took it off standing tall in front of her and threw off his shirt._

_Cuddy kissed him and then whispered in his ear, "How are you going to take me?"_

_House smiled looking down at her black lace panties and guarder belt holding up some tan thigh highs. "First I want to see how much you want me," he said and got on his knees. He licked the panties and she put her hand on his head to steady herself as her knees wiggled a little. "Mmm, your panties are soaked," he said then pulled them to the side and flicked her clit with his tongue._

"_Shit Greg, just give it to me," Cuddy said while panting._

_House ran his tongue along and into her opening tasting her wet pussy. He sucked on her clit and she almost fell but he caught her ass and put it on his desk, not stopping his work. Cuddy leaned back against the wood top with her back curved as her moans became louder until she finally came and he stuffed a finger in her and let out a groan as he felt her pulse around it. Then he worked it in and out of her putting in another. "You getting me ready for that big cock of yours?" she asked then bit her lip as he added a third while his thumb worked on her sensitive clit._

"_Is that what got you all wet Lisa, thinking about my cock?" House asked as one of his hands started stroking said cock. _

_Cuddy's hand joined his, "Please Greg, quit teasing me with it."_

_House licked his lips as he removed his fingers wiping the wetness on his hard dick as he put the tip to her opening. He looked her in the eyes as he pushed gently against her slipping in slowly. He bent down over her kissing her with need as he gently moved in and out of her. Her legs wrapped around his lower back and she moved her mouth kissing and sucking on his neck._

_There was a knock on the door that they both ignored, "House, you in there?" said Chase's Australian accent._

"_GO AWAY," House yelled at the door._

"_House it's important, I need to talk to you," Chase yelled back._

_House looked down at Cuddy and kissed while standing straight and pulling her too him. She looked at him with some confusion as his hand ran threw her hair and his thumb caressed her cheek. He pulled her legs tight around his waist and let his left arm hold her waist firmly against him picking her up off the desk staying in her the whole time. He kissed her as he slowly made his way to the door._

"_House?" Chase called out again._

_Cuddy pulled back from the kiss as her hands went around his shoulders holding on and she looked back at the door, "What are you doing?"_

"_Letting him and the whole Hospital know exactly how busy I am," he said looking at her. _

_She looked back at him with surprise and fear in her eyes, but as she searched his eyes she nodded, "Okay Greg," and then she kissed him._

_House grabbed the rod for the blinds with his right hand and pushed them open then pressed Cuddy against the glass wall and rocked in her as he looked over her shoulder at Chase who was staring back wide eyed. He smiled back, "BUSY!" he yelled as his hand slapped against the glass helping him to steady himself._

_Chase didn't move he looked a lot like a statue as did anyone who was looking in. House used his right hand to move the blinds as far away as he could and then it was back on the glass. He looked at Cuddy who's cheeks were blushed, "I love you," he said and kissed her as he pushed in and out of her more deeply._

_One of Cuddy's hands moved to his ass which she squeezed letting her nails dig in slightly. House moved his mouth to her neck kissing and sucking as he panted and opened his eyes seeing there was now a huge group of people standing just outside the glass watching him, he met Cameron's eyes who quickly ran off as the other watched him. There was a pride in his heart as he took the women he loved in front of everyone, letting them know that she was his._

"_Oh Greg," Cuddy moaned loudly as his pace increased. He bit his lip and groaned as he looked up. "Faster," she said panted in his ear._

_House pulled her back from the glass a little picking her up and sliding out of her. Her legs went down and she looked at him with worry. He smiled at her and turned her around so her back was to him. He wrapped both of arms around her squeezing her breasts, "I want to take you from behind," he whispered with heated breath._

_Cuddy felt herself get wetter and bent down holding on to the armrest of a chair and he put a hand on her shoulder as he slipped back inside her and left one hand gripping her hip tightly. He pushed in her all the way and then pulled out a good bit before pushing in again. He was taking her slow and deep._

"_Oh yes, god yes," Cuddy moaned. House bent down more kissing her back and increased his speed some. "Harder Greg, let me feel you balls slap against me," Cuddy said as she panted._

_House increased the speed more as he growled with his mouth just over her jugular. He felt as her pussy pulsed, but didn't slow his pace he held her up by her hips as he felt her knees weaken, "I'm going to cum in you so hard," he growled in her ear._

"_Please, please put it deep in me," She begged with her legs apart as he moved with an energy she's never seen._

"_Oh Lisa," House moaned loudly against her neck,and then bit down hard as he cam in her pumping is cock in her as deep as he could while Cuddy cried out his name._

House was panting when he opened his eyes to find himself in Wilson's guest room on his back in bed. He bit his lip hard as he felt himself still cumming which felt both great and painful as his burned flesh was stretched. He breathed ragged through his nose as tears gathered in his eyes and two slowly fell.

His right hand made it's way to his ruined thigh and he closed his eyes then took a deep breath as he felt the orgasm was finally over. He gritted his teeth as he was greeted with all the pain he'd been suffering through since the attack and now on top of it his privates hurt with new burning pain from the burned skin being stretched. House pulled the covers off and slowly sat up letting his legs hang off the side of the bed. He stared at the carpet remembering that not too long ago he would have just need his cane to get up and walk out, but that now he'd need his wheelchair. He took two oxycodone and got into the wheelchair rolling quickly off to the restroom.

He stripped his cloths off throwing them in the plastic lined hamper and got on the shower seat, then adjusted the water and turned on the shower. He looked down at his semi-hard cock which now had two blisters that had popped along with the red sensitive skin from the burns and more blisters that he still felt as he washed it on the underside. He cupped his now hairless balls feeling the blisters which still covered them then grabbed the special soap he was to use and started washing. The soap was fine until it met the burned skin, then it just felt like someone had put him on fire and his leg, privates, and feet where always the worst. When he was finally done he dried off in the shower and got back in wheelchair feeling exhausted as his body shook from the pain. He rolled back in his room and put on the medicated lotion which at least took away the burning sensation but not the pain. House let it absorb in and then got out his cloths, wondering how long it would be before the blisters left and he could finally wear underwear again. He got dressed and combed his hair then looked at the clock to see it was a little past four. He rolled into the living room turning on the TV.

Wilson got up and did his normal routine then went to check on House and found him asleep in his chair with the news on the TV. Wilson turned off the TV and turned on the lights. House moved a little and then opened his eyes glaring at Wilson.

"What time did you get up this morning?" Wilson asked.

"Around three, now will you turn off that damn light," House said in his deep, I'm still half asleep voice.

Wilson turned off the light and walked into the kitchen turning on it light and House rolled himself to the table watching him. Wilson turned around and looked at House who looked slightly more worn than he had been. "What woke you up?" he asked.

"A dream," House said as he twisted his neck trying to work out a kink from falling asleep in the wheelchair.

Wilson's features became worried, "I didn't hear you yelling, what kind of dream?" he asked as he walked back to the table and sat down.

"Another dream about me and Cuddy, don't worry I already pulled the sheets," House said with a frown.

Wilson nodded studying his friends features, "You don't look happy about the dream, what happened?"

House looked down and scoffed, "The dream was great, waking up and remembering it was all just a dream not so great."

"What made the dream so great?" Wilson asked.

House looked up at him, "My leg was normal again, no pain, no ugly scar, none of the scars from this shit that happened. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but being able to stand and walk without the pain and looking down and seeing my thigh whole... it's a lot to me. Then having Cuddy let me take her against the glass wall in my office with the blinds pulled back so everyone in the Hospital could see me inside her. It felt good knowing that she was fine with everyone knowing, that she didn't feel like she had to hide what we have... or had I guess," he said sighing.

Wilson frowned and swallowed as he looked at House, "I'm sorry it was just a dream, I know how much you would like for it to be real."

House smiled bitterly, "Yeah, well it isn't and never will be. Life isn't like that at least not for me."

Wilson looked at him wanting to say something comforting like someday it would be like that, but he knew that it wouldn't. Even if everything else went perfectly him and Cuddy got together and she told everyone, he knew she'd never let anyone in the hospital see them together like that and that House would never have his leg whole again and probably never be pain free of it. He looked at House who seemed to be reading his mind as he his eyes held a sadness. "Well since you're already bathed and dressed we have time for breakfast, you want me to cook something or do you want to go out." He asked hoping to take House's mind off of how hopeless his dreams were.

"I'd just rather have Coco Pebbles," House said trying to avoid getting around a lot of people.

"Okay," Wilson said with a slight dread and fixed them both big bowls of the cereal. "I can't believe you still eat coco pebbles." Wilson said looking at his milk that was now chocolate milk.

"I can't believe you still were those god awful ties... but you do," House said taking a large bite of the cereal.

Wilson ignored the stab, "I use to love these things and now they just seem overly sweet and weird. I mean people don't get up and eat chocolate for breakfast, or chocolate for any meal for that matter."

"I do," House said with a grin taking another large bite

"Did you eat these everyday as a kid or something?" Wilson asked looking back at House.

House tensioned up a little, "Nope, wasn't allowed to have cereal."

Wilson looked a little confused, "Then what did you eat in the morning?"

House let out an irritated sigh, "Toast."

"You mean with butter and jam, or something?" Wilson assumingly.

House looked back up, "Did I say with jam or butter or anything else? I got one piece of toast every morning," he said with a little hostility.

"Oh," Wilson said and looked down at the cereal a little uncomfortably, "So your family ate light in the morning."

House was getting tired of the twenty questions and looked back up, "I never said my family only ate toast, I said it was all I was allowed to have. My dad would have my mom fix pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, omelets, french toast, oatmeal, or whatever else he was in the mood for and they would eat that. Once my mom sneaked me a pancake on my birthday and my dad found out, believe me it wasn't worth it. So did that answer your questions because I was hoping to finish my cereal in quiet?"

Wilson just stared back with sympathetic eyes.

"See I shouldn't have said anything now you're going to be looking at me with those damn puppy dog eyes all day." House said with irritation.

"Why would they do that? I mean how could they sit there and eat at the table seeing you just nibble on toast?" Wilson asked.

House gave a dark smile, "You think I was allowed at the table?"

Wilson felt goosebumps on his arm as he looked at House and swallowed, "But... then where did you eat?"

"I sat outside and ate, now can I finish my breakfast that you were so eager for me to eat?" House said.

Wilson sighed, "I'm sorry... I didn't know. Please eat." He said and after they were done Wilson asked, "Have you taken your medication yet?"

"No but I have it packed in my bag, I'll take it when I get to work," House said rolling over to the couch and grabbing the backpack.

Wilson grabbed his coat and briefcase then opened the door and they were gone.


	53. Chapter 53: A Real Case

House was waiting when the team arrived, "We've got an interesting case today," he announced seeming eager to get started.

"So what is it this time, we have someone with a stomach ache?" Thirteen said sarcastically with a smile.

House grinned and threw the file in the middle of the table, "A 16 year old girl who's mother swears she's on drugs yet has passed all the drug tests. Girl can't stop scratching herself all though she appears to have no rashes and keeps having vision changes she in room 2876, so shall we." House said rolling to the door and opening it then rolling out as they quickly got up and joined him.

They all followed behind him and House opened the door to see the mother pulling the girls hands away from her face, "Quit it, if you keep scratching you're going to leave scars." The woman said.

"She's right, I had this awful itch around my neck and now look at me," House said rolling in.

The girl looked at him and then noticed his neck and put her hands down promptly.

"You must be Dr. House, I'm Margret Keely and this is my daughter Lilly," She said holding out her hand to which House stared awkwardly at and Kutner quickly shook. Margret smiled at Kutner and when finished she looked back at House and his neck, "I'm glad you decided to take my daughter as your patient, I've read up about you and your work is outstanding, although there were mentions that you weren't the warmest doctor, but I'm fairly certain she did this to herself so maybe she's needs a little tough love."

House grinned at her, "Well I'm your man, so would you mind catching the team up on exactly what's been going on while I take a look."

"Um sure," Margret said watching him as he put on gloves and started looking at her daughter. "She started hanging out with the weird bunch of kids at school, dyed her beautiful blond hair black, and came home with more piercings. I find pot in her backpack."

"Mom, this isn't something I took!" Lilly said with exasperation.

"I've had her tested, but they always come up negative, so now I'm pretty sure it's just in her head or she's just making the whole thing up but her father wanted to make sure I'd had the best look at her before I dismissed it," she said ignoring what Lilly said completely. "This started two weeks ago and I've taken her to a dermatologist who told me she looked fine no rashes, the vision thing has only been in the last couple of days."

"Any change in her diet or products," Taub asked.

"No, allergic reactions is one of the first things the the other doctor tested her for, and nothing. At home nothings changed but what she does when she isn't home, well I'm not always sure." Margret said looking back at her daughter as House looked in her eyes with a tool. "At this age, it's so hard, they don't want anything to do with you, they lie about everything big and small it just seems impossible."

"Have either of you been out of the states?" Foreman asked.

"No," she answered simply.

Kutner looked over at the girl, "Lilly have any of your friends been out of the US or had any of the same symptoms?"

Lilly looked at Kutner, "No! Don't you think I'd have said something if they had. You think I want to be itching all over and going color blind one day and blurred vision the next? I thought you doctors were suppose to be smart."

"How is your vision right now?" House asked rolling back from the girl some.

"It's dark, kinda like when at night when there's only a lamp or two on," Lilly answered looking at him.

"Cool... any places that itch more than others?" House asked.

"It's not cool, it weird, and the itching changes places. My mom makes me wear gloves at night so I won't scratch myself in my sleep." Lilly said looking irritated.

"I hate to ask this, but it's possible it's an STD if you've had sex, is that a possibility?" Thirteen asked looking between the mother and daughter.

"I don't know, I found birth control in her purse once. Lilly just be honest I'm not going to be mad." Margret said looking back at her daughter.

Lilly blushed some, "No, not unless you can get an STD making out."

"If all you were doing was making out, then why do you have birth control?" Foreman asked flatly.

Margret looked at her daughter with a raised eye brow and Lilly frowned, "I was planning on having sex with Jeremy and then I find out he was cheating on me with two of my friends, so I dumped him."

"Jeremy was cheating on you with who?" Margret asked looking surprised by the news.

"Allison and Jordan, that's why I don't hang out with them anymore, which you would know if you ever asked about what happened with me and Jeremy." Lilly said heatedly at her mother.

House sighed, "Well you will be the one laughing when they get pregnant or an STD, right?"

Lilly looked at him surprised and shrugged, "I guess."

House rolled back, "Alright take some blood I want to see what her white count looks like, test for STD's and do a skin scratch test."

"Wait, she said she's never had sex!" The mother said with concern.

"And you told us she lies, not to mention heavy making out, can lead to STD's and I'd rather not know the details." House said, "But it's up to you, if you don't want us to do the simple test we wont."

Margret looked at her daughter and then back at House, "Fine, do the test."

House looked around at his team, "Everyone but Kutner take a test."

Kutner looked at House with interest and opened the door for him. House rolled out and back to his office, which Kutner also opened the door of for him. He rolled to his desk and looked up at Kutner.

"Did you want to talk to me?" Kutner asked with concern.

"Nope just wanted to have someone around to open the doors for me and wipe my ass that kind of thing." House said watching him.

Kutner sat down, "Really because the only reason I wanted to work for you was in hopes of doing those very things."

House grinned, "You took a... personal interest in me and by fault found out some personal things. I just wanted you to know that although I was flattered by your interest, I'd rather you didn't tell anyone about your findings."

"I never intended on sharing what I found and still don't," Kutner said frankly.

"Good," House said looking at his the files on his desk. He looked back up after a minute, "You can go now, that doors and ass thing was just a joke."

Kutner stood up looking disappointed, "I'm not going to tell anyone, but I think you should let the other know. Everyone dismisses your pain, thinks your an addict and that the pain isn't real, if they knew about the ETP then they would have a better understanding of what you're going through and wouldn't question the pain."

House sighed, "You mean they would be more sympathetic. I don't want their sympathy I just want them to do their jobs."

"What's worse, them feeling sympathy for you or just thinking your a pathetic addict?" Kutner said looking at House.

House looked back down at the file, "Make sure to say hi to Beth for me in the clinic."

Kutner sighed then left and House looked back up at the closed door thinking about his words.

Cuddy showed up around noon in House's office with a large salad and a Reuben with chips for House. House looked at her with interest.

"Wilson's got tied up with a time consuming patient, he can't make lunch so I figured we could have lunch together today," She said putting the sandwich and chips on his side of the desk and putting her salad down on the other side.

"Sure, why not," House said casually but looked uneasy as he watched her sit down.

"Good," Cuddy said opening the clear container and getting out the plastic fork.

House took a bite of his Reuben and sighed as it was still warm, then put it back down to let it get cold, just the way he liked it.

"Something wrong, I told them no pickles?" Cuddy asked noticing he wasn't eating.

House pulled out a pill bottle, "Nope just like my Reuben cold, so I'll let it sit some," he said opening the bottle and spilling out what had to be at least 15 different pills. Cuddy looked at all the medication and then watched as House fished out ten different pill and took them in one swallow finishing them off with a sip of coke. Then he put up the rest of the pills in the bottle and put them away. He noticed her watching and looked at her, "What?" he said flatly.

"I didn't know you were still on that much medication," Cuddy said slightly worried.

"Yeah, well now you do," House said coldly letting her know it wasn't something he wanted to talk about. Cuddy looked back at her salad and continued to eat, "You think my team sees me as a pathetic addict?"

She looked up at him completely shocked by the question and thought about it, "I don't know... they know you take a lot of pain medication. Why?"

"Kutner got a hold of my test results from Dr. Roth's test, looked them up in the system. He thinks I should tell the team about my ETP, said it's better for them to be sympathetic then to think of me as a pathetic addict." House said watching her.

Cuddy blinked not knowing what to say, "What do you think?"

House shrugged, "I'd rather them not think about me at all, but out of the two, I don't like the idea of them thinking of me a pathetic, I really don't care if they think I'm addict or not. Then again if they know and start agreeing with me more because of some sympathy that could be bad for patients not to mention just plain annoying."

Cuddy thought some more about it, "Well if you're going to tell them then this would be the time, they are already sympathetic, this way they could get all of those darn emotions out of the way at the same time."

House grinned, "You're right emotions are stupid." She rolled her eyes and took another bite of her salad. "Did you think I was pathetic before you found out," he asked casually as if it wasn't the loaded question that it clearly was.

Cuddy chewed on her salad an extra long time then swallowed, "yes," she said softly not meeting his eyes.

House kept his face neutral, "And after?"

She looked at him, "I thought you were weak and I blamed you for the pain and the pills, now I don't. I know the pain is real and more than most people could bare, which makes me appreciate the time and effort you put into your patients even more." House looked to be in thought and Cuddy ate on her salad some, "I stopped by last night to see you, but you weren't home."

House still was thinking, "Wilson and me went out."

"Good, you need to start getting out again, it can help with PTSD. Where did you two go?" Cuddy asked happy to let go of the topic.

"Scotch 45," he answered still only half paying attention.

Cuddy coughed as some of her salad caught in her throat and took a sip of her water, "The strip club?"

House looked at her with slightly more interest, "Yes, you been?"

"No House, I haven't been to a strip club and I guess it's pretty obvious what you were doing there," She said miffed off.

He looked at her with irritation, "I didn't DO anything."

"Really? Then why go?" Cuddy said staring him down.

House narrowed his eyes on her, "Had a bad day at work, just wanted to go some where and not think. Since I can't get plastered because of the meds I went to a strip club."

"A strip club that allows touching," Cuddy said frowning.

He licked his lips, "We're not married, you know that right?."

Cuddy looked down, "So you don't deny you touched them."

"I didn't touch anyone, and I don't have to explain myself to you. We aren't even dating, and how do you know they allow touching if you've never been," House said with frustration.

"Because Candice one of the interns works there at night to pay her school bills, not that it's any of your business, and you said there was a chance we could date later and I'd rather not catch a STD from you is why you should explain yourself to me." She said watching him.

House froze and blinked at her, "Since when did you start allowing strippers to work here?"

Cuddy looked at him and then looked away, "She was your stripper wasn't she."

He looked down, "I don't know, she said her name was Candy."

She closed her eyes, "What did she look like?" she said not able to look at him.

House looked at her, "Dark hair, blue eyes," he said softly.

"Great, just great, you know she's only 23," Cuddy said looking at him with disgust.

House shook his head, "I told you I didn't do anything, I just watched. You want know what happened?"

"NO! But I probably should just in case she finds out that her john was in fact a Department head at this Hospital," She said fuming.

"I paid her for a dance and told her not to touch me, she barely touched my leg and I..." House looked away, "I jerked back and starting shaking, she gave me a cigarette and then she feed me dinner with a fork along with another stripper, when they were done they did a strip dance together with chocolate syrup and then Wilson and I left."

"You mean went home and jacked off thinking about her," Cuddy said with narrowed eyes.

House scoffed, "Yeah, because it's not like I just had my privates fried. There are still blisters all over, you want to see! Check that out! It'd be easy I still can't wear underwear," he said looking disgusted.

Cuddy felt a pull of guilt but wasn't going to let him off that easy, "I..."

House cut her off, "You what? Forgot! Probably because it didn't happen to you. I have to look at it ever day. I'll never get to forget how those bastards mutilated my body, or what it felt like while they did it. How it felt when they poured the water on me and then shocked me over and over again or what it was like when they branded me or put a torch to my skin. You don't have to live with that!" House yelled taking ragged breaths.

Cuddy eye's watered, "I didn't forget, I just thought it had healed by now."

"Well it hasn't! You want to know what happened next? You might as well know exactly how pathetic I am. I went to sleep and had a wet dream about you. Oh... it was hilarious, I dreamed my leg was normal again and that I claimed you in front of everyone and you were fine with it. That you didn't care if anyone knew because you were proud to have me." House said coldly, "Then I woke up and realized that none of that is ever going to happen and the pain started. That's what happened, so you happy? Now you know." He said taking deep breath looking at her with warning eyes.

"House you need to calm down, your shaking," she said watching him with worry. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. Cuddy wiped away a couple of tears quickly as she watched him try to push all that hurt back in. She had to stop pushing him she thought seeing that even thought he put up a good front he was really only hanging on by a thread.

House opened his eyes and looked down to see his hands still shaking, "How loud did I get? Do you think anyone heard me?" he asked softly.

Cuddy looked around but didn't notice anyone paying any attention to them, "No, I don't thinks so, almost everyone is having lunch on this floor and we're always yelling I don't think they would listen in anyways."

House turned around in his chair looked out the glass and sighed, "I have to get this under control."

"Or you could try letting it out House," Cuddy said with a frown, "Do you know that's the first time I've actually heard you talk about what happened to you with any emotion."

House frowned still looking out the glass, "I should get back to my patient, you still coming over tonight."

Cuddy sighed, "Yeah, I'll be over around six thirty, want to me to bring dinner."

"No, I already have dinner planned," House said glancing back at her, "Don't worry I'm fine."

She nodded at him even thought she didn't believe it and left.

House watched as the team piled in to the DDX room and rolled out of his office to join them. They all handed over different reports. He looked over them, "Her body is fighting something, but no fever, skin test is clean and seems like she was telling the truth about the sex. Anything changed in the patient, new symptoms."

Thirteen sighed, "Her skin is looking weird, spotted."

House looked at her as if she was an idiot, "And when did this start?"

"I noticed it an hour ago," Thirteen said and she watched him roll quickly over to the door and got up along with the team. House was going fast enough the other had to jog to keep up. "What is it?" Thirteen asked.

"I won't be sure until I see will I," House said opening the door and rolling in the room. "You have spots?"

Lilly nodded and put out her arm, "Why is that important?"

House looked at it and nodded, "Yeah, it's important. Have you gotten bitten by any insects in the past six months?"

Lilly could tell that whatever this was it was serious, "A bee stung me in the summer and a three or four months ago a fly bit me, but it left a bite like a mosquito."

House sighed, "This is very important, you understand. Do you know where the fly came from or what happened it it."

"Your scaring me," Lilly said looking at him.

"It's just really important if you do, if you don't that's fine," House said looking in her eyes.

Lilly looked scared, "Um.. it was on my mom's passion fruit, and my dad killed it with a paper, did it do this to me?"

"We'll have to do some test to make sure," House said rolling out of the room.

The mom followed, "What does she have?"

"Almost all passion fruit is shipped from South America, it sounds like Onchocerciasis, better known as River Blindness, I'm going to have to do a skin biopsy to confirm." House said looking at the women, "I guess she didn't do this to herself." He said and rolled away.

His team was following him, "Do the skin biopsy, we need six different ones, take on from each limb, one on the back of the hair line, and one below her shoulder blade. They need to be 2 mg and put them in saline, call me after that. Thirteen, I want you to get her transferred into a clean room, no on goes in or out." The team still followed him to the DDX room.

"What the hell is Onchocerciasis?" Foreman asked.

House sighed as he looked at them, "Really? Not one of you know this?"

They all looked around and then back at him, "Fine since you won't work until you know I'll make this the short version, a parasitic worm infects a fly who infects a person, then worm make a home in the person has tons of baby's which the immune system fights, when that happens the dead larva let out a toxic chemical that causes you skin to get inflamed and very itchy, but if enough larva die in your eye, it can cause blindness. It's a NTD, which means once we confirm, we have to call the Center of Disease Control. She needs to be in a clean room NOW, because if a fly bites her and then someone else the whole cycle can start over again." House said watching them. "MOVE and don't tell anyone about this until I confirm with the skin biopsy!" he said loudly.

They all ran out of the room while House grabbed a book of Neglected Tropical Diseases. Cuddy was back up in Houses office only thirty minutes after the team had left. "Your team is trying to push ahead of the line for a operating room for a skin biopsy. When I asked them what the diagnoses was they said to ask you."

"Onchocerciasis," House said looking at her.

Cuddy frowned, "House are you sure about this?"

"I will be once I get the biopsy done and confirm, by the way do you still have your book on NTD?" House asked.

"Yes, why did you lose yours?" she asked looking at him.

"No, evidently no one on my team even had heard of the Disease, I'm trying to get them some books to study from." he said with some irritation.

Cuddy smiled, "It's in my office, I'll bring it up to you. I'll let them slip ahead today since it could me Onchocerciasis."

"Well thank you so much, I'm sorry to cause such a fuss over a simple disease that could if not handled promptly and properly lead to the first ever epidemic out break of River Blindness in the US." House said with a smile.

Cuddy smiled, "You won't always have the masses on your side House," she said and left.


	54. Chapter 54: Gifts for Greg

House grabbed a paper clip and rolled over to Wilson's office, he knocked and as he expected didn't get an answer, so he started working the paper clip in the key hole. He worked on if for a minute and then heard the click and opened the door, sticking the paper clip in his pocket. He started browsing through Wilson's books.

"Breaking into a fellow Doctors office, should I take this as flattery?" Wilson said watching House.

"You still got that book I got you on Neglected Tropical Diseases?" House asked looking at him.

Wilson rolled his eyes and walked over the the bookshelf on the other wall and grabbed it from up high, then handed to House.

House smiled as he looked at it and then opened it to hear the distinctive crackle of a book that's never been opened. He looked up at Wilson, "You've never even opened it?"

Wilson narrowed his eyes a little, "House you gave it to me as a wedding gift, that you sneaked into my suitcases that I was taking on my Honeymoon to Brazil. Julie had a fit when she saw it, so to answer your question, no I haven't read it. Most people don't read books like that for fun."

"Great then you won't mind if I keep it, since you don't care about it," House said flatly looking at the book.

Wilson sighed, "House gifts are suppose to be about what the other person likes, not you."

House gave a small laugh, "Oh, you mean like those ties you got me."

"Okay, maybe the ties aren't your thing, but I thought you'd look so much better with one, and just wanted to see you give them a shot." Wilson said.

"And I just thought you might be a better Doctor and save more lives with more knowledge, but now I see I was out of line." House said with condescension.

Wilson scoffed, "No you weren't, you just thought it would be funny to give me a book that told of all the disease I could get while on my honeymoon, instead of actually giving me something that would make my trip enjoyable."

House looked up at him coldly, "You were going away for two weeks, to a place that had over thirty million people infected with at least one NTD. I wasn't going to be there to figure it out if something went wrong, I just thought you should be aware of what you could get and the symptoms. Next time you decide to go to a disease ridden country with poor standards of healthcare I'll just keep my books out of it." House said starting to roll out of Wilson's office.

Wilson's face was guilt ridden as he saw House wheel himself out of the office quickly. He had just assumed the book was meant to be a joke, because that was so like House. He looked down a for a moment thinking and then walked over to House's office. He looked in watching House looking at the book on his desk. He walked in softly, "I didn't know you gave it to me because you were worried, I'm sorry."

House still looked at the book, "I don't give a lot of gifts, I wasn't raised that way, so when I give you something it's important to me."

Wilson frowned, "But when I give you something you don't open it for a year and then throw it away."

"I only did that to mess with my team," House countered looking up.

"And you kept it for a whole year with that in mind?" Wilson said sarcastically.

House swallowed, and looked down, "I was going to get out until Taub opened it."

Wilson looked at him with disbelief, "You mean you didn't get it out of the trash can? That book cost me $450.00."

House looked back down, "I couldn't after it was opened, sorry."

"What the hell do you mean you couldn't?" Wilson said loudly.

"Could you stop yelling," House said softly.

Wilson took a couple of breaths, "Okay, I'm calm now."

"Wilson just leave this alone," House said looking up at him.

"Biopsy is ready," Taulb said looking in that the two of them.

House rolled out leaving Wilson there in his office. Wilson sat down in one of the chairs and rubbed his forehead as he thought about the idea of the book being thrown away and House's only explanation being that it was opened.

"You must have just had a talk with House. I'm pretty sure that's how I look after talking to him too," Cuddy said at the door.

Wilson shook his head, "I try to understand the man, but... it's impossible to know what goes on in that maze of a brain that's his."

"Yeah I know, like going to a strip club last night?" Cuddy said looking at him knowingly.

Wilson grimaced slightly, "Who told you?"

"He did, couldn't wrap his mind around why I would be mad about it, then like and idiot I pushed and he ended up yelling about how blisters and the men that did this to him, and then told me about his dream. He makes it so easy to forget how much he's been through." Cuddy said with guilt in her voice.

"He didn't do anything, it was just a distraction for him," Wilson said.

Cuddy nodded, "Yeah that's what he said, I guess I was just a little insecure, that's all. So what did he say that left you here trying to figure out."

Wilson sighed, "I bought him a Christmas gift two years ago that he used to try and trick his team with last year. He threw it away, and then Taub pulled it out and opened it, and he threw it away again."

"What was it?" Cuddy asked while looking at his tie.

"Manual of the Operations of Surgery by Joesph Bell." Wilson said with irritation.

Cuddy blinked in confusion, "Why did he say he threw it away?"

Wilson laughed bitterly, "He said that before it was opened he had planned to get it out, but after it was opened he couldn't."

She sat down in the other chair, "So he actually left it in the trash can."

"That's what he said, when I got mad. He told me he was sorry and to leave it alone," Wilson said looking at her.

Cuddy thought about it a while, "Don't leave it alone, I'll be back in here at four, I want to hear his real reason," she said while standing up.

"Are you still coming over tonight?" Wilson asked.

"I was planning on it, is there some reason I shouldn't?" she asked.

He stood up, "No I just wanted to make sure before I call Megan and ask her on a date."

It was 3:45 and the team was back in the DDX room, House's diagnoses had been correct and the call to the CDC had been made along with proper treatment. House stacked a pile of books in his lap and rolled over the table, then started sliding them to all the team.

"Neglected Tropical Diseases, I already have a copy." Foreman said sliding his back to House.

"Oh, I wouldn't know because one of the diseases that's in there you didn't know about today," House said then looked at the other, "actually none of you knew, so I'm offering you the chance to prove to me you can be better doctors."

"There's no way of knowing all the diseases in the world and all the symptoms for them," Thirteen said looking at the book.

"Well that kind of thinking is going to help, and I'm not asking you to learn all of them, just the rare ones, and the rare ones to the US." House said looking at the book.

Kutner looked at the book, "So is this our to keep?"

"No, you need to have them back to me in a month, think of it as homework," House said with a smile.

"You read this in a month?" Taub asked skeptically.

"I read it in a week," House said looking at him, "couldn't put it down." Taub rolled his eyes and House looked at them then sighed, "I also have something to share with you. I had a pain test done about a month ago and one of you," House said looking at Kutner, "decided to be nosy and found out my results. I have decided to tell the rest of you because, I'd rather not have it used as leverage at some point which it can't be if everyone knows. I was diagnosed with ETP."

The whole team looked at him with sympathy except Thirteen and Foreman, "No you don't, if you did you'd never tell us. You don't get personal." Thirteen said watching him.

House grinned feeling slightly proud, "I've taught you well, everyone lies, but this time I'm not."

"So what was your score to a normal ten?" Foreman asked watching him with cold eyes.

"Does it matter?" House asked looking back at him.

"It was a four," Kutner said looking at Foreman.

Taulb looked at House with shock, "To be that low you would have had to been tortured for years."

House ignored the comment, "I just thought you should all know, now you do," he said making his way to his office.

"How did you develop it?" Foreman asked with a slight sympathy in his eyes.

House stopped, "I was in the Marines for eight years and a POW five times," he said then continued. When he was finally in his own office at his desk he let out a sigh, wondering if had made the right decision. He was fairly deep into thought when Cuddy walked in. His eyes went to her but he didn't say anything.

She could tell something was going on in his head and she looked out in the DDX room to see his team vividly discussing something. She went in the room and it suddenly became hushed and her eyebrows rose, "I'm taking it he told you about the ETP," she said.

"So it's true, he does have ETP?" Thirteen said looking at Cuddy with worry.

"Yes, the doctor talked to me about it, and I had to give the results to House," Cuddy said solemnly. "This has been a long day, so I'm letting you all off early, it looks like you have homework anyway." She said looking at the books and then went back to House's office as she saw them get up to go.

"What if I hadn't told them?" House asked watching her.

"I could tell by the 'oh shit, I actually told them something personal' face you had on," Cuddy said sitting on his desk looking back at him.

House looked at the way she was sitting thinking a little about the dream he's had, "So did you just stop by to see if I'd told them?"

Cuddy smiled as she saw Wilson coming threw the door, "Nope just to get to understand you better," she said sweetly.

House watched Wilson walk in with two presents. He looked at both of them with worry, "I thought we were in agreement you'd leave this alone," House said looking at Wilson.

Wilson ignored House, "Here Cuddy, you've really been a good friend and ear to me since House was hurt and I wanted to give you this to show my appreciation."

House watched as Cuddy took the gift, "Thank you so much Wilson, it was so thoughtful of you to get me something," Cuddy said and opened it. "Wow a massage at a spa, thank so much Wilson."

"I thought you could use some de-stress time," Wilson said and then looked at House. "There, now that you've observed how this is suppose to go, I got you a present for being strong though all of this."

House looked at the present Wilson placed on his desk, "So this is a I'm sorry four men beat the fuck out of you and you hand to kill three of them, but at least you're not so fucked up I have to put you in a mental hospital yet present?"

Wilson coughed, "I guess something like that."

House looked at it, "Okay," he said looking up. They both stared at him and he rolled his eyes, "Thank you."

"I'm waiting for you to open it," Wilson said.

House looked down at the present, "Fine," he said and unwrapped it. House was silent as he looked at it, it was a $250 dollar gift certificate at his favorite cane shop. House closed his eyes as he thought about what had happened to his last cane and opened them again knowing this was Wilson's way of telling him it would get better. "Thanks," he said with disappointment and tossed it in the trash.

"House," Cuddy said in a scolding way and got the gift certificate out.

Wilson looked at him hurt, "So you didn't like it or that's just what you think of me?"

"I liked it, I just can't keep it," House said looking at him.

"WHY NOT!" Wilson yelled.

House felt his heart race, "After I open present I can't keep it."

"You kept the watch Kutner gave you, you wear the damn thing almost every day," Wilson retorted.

House sighed, "It wasn't a real gift, I made them give me things, that's different."

"How is that different House?" Wilson asked getting frustrated.

"It's different because they were manipulated into it, this watch is just a winning from my devious acts it isn't a gift." House said trying to explain.

"So you can't take any gift?" Cuddy asked watching him.

House looked up with dreadful eyes, "I can take a gift and keep it as long as I don't open it, if I open it, I have to throw it away."

"Let me guess that was you're dads idea," Wilson said through gritted teeth.

House closed his eyes, "He said I didn't deserve presents so they never got me any, but some of my moms family did every now and then and my mom didn't want to throw them away. It was a compromise."

Cuddy and Wilson exchanged looks, "House, you're not a child and your father is dead," Cuddy said looking at him.

House sighed deeply, "You don't get it, neither of you do. I still can't take them, because I still don't deserve them. I'm a horrible friend, the only thing I've ever been good at is curing patients."

"You didn't open Stacy's gifts?" Wilson asked.

"No," House said looking down.

Wilson sat down so he could see House's face better and spoke with a tenderness, "Are you telling me that somewhere in your place there are all the presents you've never opened?"

"No, I have a small storage unit I put them and some other stuff in." House said softly.

Cuddy bent down beside him, "House you deserve gifts, you're a good friend and person."

House shook his head disbelieving of them.

"I'll take you by there on our way home and pick them up. You're going to open them and keep them House." Wilson said standing.

"No, I can't!" House said with urgency.

"Why not, what's going to happen if you do?" Wilson asked looking at his friend.

House looked at Wilson with a grave face to which Wilson looked worried by.

Cuddy looked at House, "You tried once didn't you, what happened House."

"I don't want to talk about it," House said refusing to looking at them.

"What did he do to you House," Wilson asked, "Please just tell us."

House closed his eyes, "My Oma gave me a toy car because we were there for my birthday, she made me open it and told me to keep it. When we got back to the base in Australia he took me to one of the national forest and chained me to a tree. He left me there in the woods for three days, it was the first time I got frostbite."

Wilson got up and stalked to the door gritting his teeth as he thought about how a man could do that to their son, biological or not.

Cuddy closed her eyes unable to look at House, "How old were you?"

"Seven," House answered. Wilson pounded his fist into the door hard after hearing the answer and both Cuddy and House looked at him. "I told you to leave it alone," House said.

"No! I'm not going to let him win from inside a fucking grave and neither are you!" Wilson yelled with rage while glaring at House. "You're not a fucking kid anymore Greg, so quit fucking acting like one!"

House was shaking from the volume and energy coming off of Wilson. He could see the anger in him as his eyes searched Wilson's with a shocked awe.

"Wilson, it isn't his fault," Cuddy said standing up to the side of House.

Wilson looked at House, "No it wasn't, but if he keeps refusing to try and get past it and see his father for what he really was then it becomes his fault. I get it, I know there are probably a lot of other things you're father did that are just as bad if not worse, but I hate him so much it hurts."

House blinked, "I've never seen you get like that before." Wilson frowned while biting his lip nervously. "I like it," House said as he smiled.

"Maybe I should tell you off more often," Wilson said letting out a relieved breath, "it felt good."

Cuddy smiled, "Okay so are we opening presents tonight?"

House nodded, "Yeah, he's right, it's time," he said still smiling at Wilson.

"What time is your date Wilson?" Cuddy asked.

"Seven, but I can cancel," Wilson not wanting to miss House opening his gifts.

Cuddy shook her head, "No, don't worry about it, you two go ahead I'll leave early and be there at 5:30, that should give us plenty of time."

"Thanks Cuddy," Wilson said and watched as Cuddy handed House back the gift certificate. They both watched with apprehension as House picked up the card just looking at it for a while before putting it in his wallet.

House looked up to see them smiling and shook his head, "If either one of you say anything stupid..."

"You mean like I'm proud of you?" Wilson said.

"Or that we're happy for you?" Cuddy chimed in.

House smiled, "Yeah, that kind of crap I'm going to hurt you."

Cuddy left with a smile. "I'm going to grab my stuff, I'll be back in a few minutes," Wilson said leaving too.

Twenty minutes later House and Wilson pulled up to a storage unit not far from House's apartment. Wilson got out the wheelchair and House stood up and got in it, then handed Wilson his key. Wilson unlocked the pad lock and pulled the garage like door up and House rolled over to the right side and flipped on the light. In the front there were things House had gotten rid of after the infarction like his bike, golfing equipment, tennis rackets, lacrosse gear and other sporting goods. Wilson looked at House and then back at the stuff silently.

House let out a heavy sigh and rolled past it down the middle and to the right where there were five large boxes full of presents. Wilson looked at the boxes and shook his head as he saw all the past presents he'd given House still wrapped in the box closest to the door. He looked behind him and saw boxes piled up with a black garment bag draped over them. He walked over to the garment bag and unzipped it to see a pristine dress Marine uniform covered in badges, ribbons, and metals along with a silver plate that read Lieutenant Gregory House on it.

House looked back to see Wilson staring at the uniform, "We didn't come hear for that, we came here for the gifts."

Wilson swallowed still looking at the uniform, "It doesn't seem real."

House rolled over and pulled the uniform and bag from Wilson's hands then quickly zipped it back up and threw it back on the boxes. "I can't get these by myself, do you think they'll all fit in your car," he said rolling back over to the task at hand.

Wilson looked over at the boxes and thought about how to fit them in his car. He ended up being able to barely get three of them in the back seat and then the last two in the trunk which fit easily until he put House's folded wheelchair on top. He had to slam it down hard a couple of time but he finally got it shut. Then he locked up the storage unit and gave the key back to House when he got in the car and they headed to Wilson's.

By 5:31 they were all sitting in the living room with House at one end of the couch and Wilson at the other and Cuddy in a recliner. Wilson grabbed out a gift, "To Greg from James, may your time in the clinic go by quickly," he read and then handed the present to House.

House looked intrigued as he unwrapped it and smiled, "The new PSP, see I told you he's a bad influence," he said smiling.

Wilson smiled at Cuddy, "I figured it would mean less lawsuits for the Hospital and less complaining from House."

There ended up being fourteen presents from Wilson, the PSP, two medical books, two ties, two sets of tickets one to an old Lacrosse game, and the other to a nice dinner theater, one Led Zeppelin collectors set, two CD's, one preserved human brain in a jar, one preserved corn snake in a jar, a small odd glass and an antique glass and silver hypodermic syringe set.

"What's up with the small glass?" Cuddy asked.

House grinned, "It's a glass eye washing cup."

"Oh yes, naturally," Cuddy said with a slight cringe.

"Thank you Wilson, now let's see what the ladies got me," House said removing six presents. He put three on each side and smirked at Cuddy, "Shall we see what you got me?"

Cuddy did a fake pout, "Sorry to tell you but there aren't any body parts in those."

"Darn," House said and read the tag, "Thank you for not making me regret hiring you," he read and looked at her, "must have been my first year." He opened the present to see a white doctors coat with his name monogrammed on it. The next gift was a stamp set of his signature, with a note that expressed the hopes that it would help him to get his paperwork done. Last one he opened was a book entitled _I Will Not Be Broken_, by Jerry White. House stared at the book some, "Let me guess after my surgery and Stacy left," he said flatly.

Cuddy nodded, "I was worried about you a lot, you didn't seem to be dealing well."

"You think you would have done better?" House asked genuinely.

"I don't know, all I knew what that you reeked of alcohol and hardly talked," Cuddy said.

House looked over at Stacy's presents, "Let's see what Stacy gave me," he said.

He decided not to read any of the notes not wanting to hear the lies and threw them away first, then opened the gifts. The first was two tees one 'House of the Holy' Led Zeppelin shirt, and another one that was red that said 'To Hot to Handle.' The next one was had lube a sexy pirate costume for him which felt awkward, and the last one was a DVD entitled 'Greg's Biggest Hit's'. House put the sexy gift in the trash a put the other two to the side.

"So, Greg's biggest hits?" Wilson said looking at the DVD.

"I bought Stacy one of those Video Recorders and she would always try to record me singing. Now all that's left is Oma's presents, and a couple of teachers." House said looking in the boxes. He dug around pulling out five gifts. He smiled at the light blue one and read the note, "To Gregory House from Miss Baird. The most promising student I've had," he read and then opened the gift to find a poem book of Robert Service. He got sheet music for _Great Balls of Fire_ and a stuffed teddy from his music teacher, a visible man model from his science teacher, a shirt, hat, pen, and key chain from the President of West point with a letter, and a life size diagram of the human skeleton. House threw the bear to Cuddy and picked up the sheet music, "I guess Mr. Patterson was cooler than I thought."

"Do you remember how old you were when you got this?" Wilson said looking at the music while Cuddy threw the bear back to House.

House tossed the bear back again, "I was nine, he use to complain about me watching my hands out of habit, told me to try putting a toy on top of the piano and looking at it instead. I'm guessing that's why he gave me the teddy," he said while catching the teddy again. "Just keep it, give it to Rachel I have no use for it." House said throwing it back.

Cuddy frowned, "You're suppose to keep your gifts."

House rolled his eyes, "So your saying you haven't gotten rid of one present in your entire life?"

Cuddy looked at the bear, "Point made, thank you," she said sitting the bear in her lap. "So are all of those from your Oma?" She asked looking at the rest of the presents.

"Yeah, she was my grandmother on my mom's side her name was Gertrude, but Oma is Grandmother in Dutch, so that's what I called her." House said looking at the gifts.

House looked at the coffee table that was already full of gifts and then started putting his already opened presents in one of the empty boxes.

"What are you doing?" Wilson asked.

"Making room to put Oma's gifts, don't worry I'm keeping them," House said as he continued to put them away.

"So what possessed you to get him a brain," Cuddy asked.

Wilson smiled, "Well the first week Stacy was living with House she broke his, so it was more or less a replacement gift, then I saw the corn snake and thought it was pretty cool and got it too."

House started laughing, "Man that was funny, she was trying to get a box on the top shelve and it just came falling and broke, but when she saw what it was she freaked out and started screaming. I came running thinking she had hurt herself and she was just backing up into the wall staring at it. Oh god, it was great, especially when I told her that I ate brains and I would have to eat hers now that she had ruined my supply."

"That explains why one of the first things she asked me was if you ate brains," Wilson said looking at House.

"The food of geniuses," House said with a evil grin.

House unpacked Oma's gifts putting them in stacks of two. Wilson watched noticing there weren't any tags or marking on the presents except the ones that had obviously been sent to him while he was in the Marines. Wilson looked at House noticing that each stack had one present that looked christmasy on the bottom, "You actually remember the order of them don't you."

House didn't say anything as he continued until they were all unpacked and stacked. He picked up the first present and opened it to find a jack in the box, he played it and the smiled when the Jack jumped out. There was a small hand sewn quilt with animals on it, ABC blocks, pull along wooden frog, overalls, first edition _How the Grinch Stole Christmas_, a set of cap guns, _The Complete Brothers Grimm Fairy Tales,_ the official Lone Ranger Outfit/Gun set, a leather sack of Jacks and a ball, paint by numbers oil paint kit, and then he opened up a 1965 Seagraves Fire Engine. House had been putting the folded letter included to the gift to the side but opened the one in this gift.

_Dear Gregory,_

_I cried at just the idea I could have lost my only sweet grandson in that fire. You make up a large part of this old woman's world even though you probably don't realize it. Your mother said you were so brave you didn't even make a fuss. When I saw this Fire Engine I felt a warmth in my heart for the men that rescued you my lovely child and felt it would be the perfect gift. You are a miracle in more ways than you can possibly imagine. I couldn't believe it when Blithe told me that they already moved you up a grade. I guess that's not completely true, I've always known you were a genius. My sweet child try to stay safe so that you don't put my old heart to rest with your grandfathers._

_Sending all my love and biggest dreams,_

_Oma _

House put the letter down and Wilson read it while he stared at the toy. When Wilson was done he handed it to Cuddy who read it. House touched the toy and let out a sigh as he smiled and moved it back and forth on the table. After a couple of minutes he sighed again, "I guess you two want to me to open up the other gifts?"

"You can play with it when ever you want but I only have another forty minutes and I have to go," Wilson said.

House put the fire truck beside him on the couch while Cuddy got out another trash bag to put all the wrapping paper in. House started back there was a leather bound Hymnal, a large Lionel train set, a camping set with canteen, a fishing rod, a very nice Bible, wooden chess set, rubric cube, a tin of homemade cookies, a coonskin hat, a BB gun, a large Swiss army knife, a three piece collection of Charles Dickens books, The complete collection of Choplin Etudes along with a book of blank sheet music, silver stationary set with a solid silver frame, leather bound blank book and a TI 45 calculator, a leather wallet, homemade fruit cake, and money with train tickets in a wooden box. House stopped frowning at the contents and opened the letter.

_Dear Gregory, June 1, 1975_

_I don't know for sure what really happened to you but I do know it wasn't the story your father told and I know he was the one who caused it. Now he's signed you up of a eight year contract with the Marines, not even considering the time your studies will have to be put on hold in hopes you go the route he has planned for you. I urge you not to do this! At the hospital when you squeezed my hand I saw the hopelessness that is growing within you and will swallow you whole if you continue to be around that creature who calls himself your father. There are some secrets that need to be revealed to you that might make it more clear to you why he has done the things he has to you. I strongly suspect that you haven't been allowed the comfort of my gifts and letters which hurts me deeply, but if there is one thing I pray for it is that you find this one and open it. I have included you a train ticket that will get you to me, and money. Run Gregory! Run as fast as those long toothpicks of legs will carry you. Buy a nice suit and sunglasses with a hat so that the train workers wont be able to identify you later and use the rest to eat on. Come to me my sweet child before he kills you or sends you off to be killed. I can not express the aching in my heart that has been caused by seeing that man starving you of food, affection, and a joyful life, the only thing that he was giving of was his own brand of discipline which is so far out of the realms of normal that it would make most people sick. I blame myself for not getting you out of this sooner Gregory. I have watched as your smiles became more scarce and seen more marks on your body as time has passed having to bite my lips so hard they bleed in order to stay in my place and let your parents raise you. I love your mother and always will but I can no longer say I'm proud of her as she has seen this at a closer view but refused to see it for what it was, blinded by your fathers lies. You and the way you think as always amazed me, even when you were just a babe. You have more to give to this world than your damn father could ever understand. You are too special, too rare, to die for a noble cause before you've even lived, and I'm not just saying that because you are my only grandson. I know you will make a fine doctor, one of the best in the world, who knows my child, there maybe people who only you could cure someday. Don't let him frighten you, I will not let anyone know you are with me, even your mother. Close to me are the best schools in the world and I would be more than happy to pay for your education out of pocket so that you can do what you were meant to do and save lives. My lovely blue eyed baby boy, please come to me for as I write this letter I can't help but cry that I know it may never reach you. I beg you if you read this to take it seriously and that you do not hesitate for I will morn for you until you are finally safe here with me._

_Sending all my love and biggest dreams,_

_Oma_

House closed the letter holding it close to his chest and closed his eyes, the day it was written was the same day he'd tried killing himself by driving his father's car into a tree. If only he'd opened the present when he'd gotten home from the hospital, maybe he wouldn't be a murder. He swallowed and looked back at the box, there was three hundred dollars in it and the train ticket. Who knew there actually was an escape only in the floor of his closet when he was getting ready to go to base camp. He felt guilty for not being strong enough to open the gift as he thought about his Oma looking out her window waiting for him to walk up.

"House are you okay?" Cuddy asked lean toward him some.

He nodded and put the letter underneath his firetruck that was sitting beside him. House began again, there was a gold cross necklace, two books _Schizophrenia Today_ and _Atlas of Cancer Mortality in Poland_, a photo album, money, a huge hand stitched quilt with a red cross on it, a nice framed picture of him getting awarded a metal, a tin of brownies, a bronze flask with his name engraved on it, and last was a solid silver box with a lock, that wasn't done. He opened it to see the key laying on top of his Oma's note and something under it. He put the key in his pocket and put the note with the other to see a stack of General Electric Company stock certificates. "I guess this was her idea of a college fund," House said getting out the paper stock for twenty shares and looking at it.

Wilson pulled out an twenty share stock and looked at it, "Well if there was a company to invest in, it was General Electric."

Cuddy also pulled one out, "She signed them off to you," she said looking at it.

House's eyebrow lifted, "Any of you looked at the date on these?"

Wilson looked at his, "October, 29th 1929, wow these thing are really old."

"And they were bought on the day the stock market crashed, therefore letting everyone know the Great Depression was real." House said and counted how many there were, "I've got ten certificates all with twenty shares, so that's two hundred share in 1929. My Grandfather was a banker, he must have bought these the day it crashed."

Cuddy and Wilson put the certificate back in the box, "That could be worth a lot," Cuddy said. House put them back in the box and put all the letters from his Oma on top of them along with the one he had under the fire engine then closed the top and used his key to lock it.

Wilson stood up, "I've got a stock broker who could find out the value of them if you want, just let me know. I've got to go have fun with your presents," he said as he grabbed his jacket and left.


	55. Chapter 55: Greg's Greatest Hits

Cuddy gave House a smile, "So what do you want to do first: supper, hair cut, have some fun with your gifts, or just hang?"

"I already called in dinner, it should be here at eight, you think you could get my hair cut and beard trimmed by then?" he asked looking at her.

She nodded, "I think so, you ready to let me try."

"Sure, just get the chair from Wilson's desk in his room," He said.

She quickly got the chair and he got in it. It had a leaning back and was lower than his wheelchair making the job easier on her. Cuddy got his trimmers charging and a pair of good scissors with comb, then cut a large trash bag down the middle to make a cover for him so she wouldn't get hair all over him. House looked up at her holding the scissors with a smile, "Just don't cut me," he said looking at the scissors anxiously.

"It makes me feel so good to know you have so much faith in me," Cuddy said snapping the scissors.

House let out a sigh and closed his eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair some making sure he wasn't going to freak out on her. Then went to work with her comb and scissors. She noticed he had opened his eyes and was staring at her breast. "You're doing good," Cuddy said with knowing smile.

"I always do better with a distraction, if you took your shirt off I'd be even better," he said with a grin.

"Well, you can't always get what you want," Cuddy said with a smile as continued working.

"If your heart was half as big as your ass you wouldn't be so cruel," he said with a fake pout.

Cuddy shook her head, "You know all this talking is distracting, I would hate to accidentally cut you because I wasn't completely focused."

House grinned, "Couldn't be any worse then what you did with the scalpel."

Cuddy stopped what she was doing and looked at him grinning and a part of her wanted to slap him. "You're sounding more and more like yourself each day," she said with cutting eyes.

House looked at her with interest, "And exactly who else am I suppose to sound like?"

She gave him a bitter smile, "No one House, you just stay exactly the way you are," she said and went back to cutting his hair.

House sighed, "You know you're the one making this difficult, we are just suppose to be friends and you keep acting like I'm suppose be treating you like more."

"God, you just sound more stupid with every sentence. What you just said about the scalpel would have upset me before I ever was idiotic enough to think you could handle a mature relationship." Cuddy spat as she pulled his hair to cut it.

House rolled his eyes, "Christ Cuddy, when are you going to let go of the past, I told you that I don't blame you. It wasn't your call it was Stacy's, so just get the hell over it already would you."

Cuddy laughed, "You telling me to get over anything is a fucking joke."

"Yeah, because I should totally be over being beaten and tortured by now," House said sarcastically.

"No not that, but the present's thing you should have been over that thirty years ago. And how about all that anger toward your dead father, shouldn't that just have vanished after he died?" Cuddy stated.

"I've moved past the present thing," he said with irritation.

She smiled, "And then there's the thing with Stacy, not dating anyone for a decade over a woman that didn't even treat you well. Six years later she just swoops in and uses you to fix her husband and have some fun with and then she just walks out again. You know she sends me a card every Christmas still, she's happy happy happy House. She's with Mark and has her son and what do you have?"

"She really has a kid or are you just saying that to be a bitch," House asked flatly.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "She has a son, why would I make that up." House's face became tensed and cold as he thought about it. Cuddy stepped back finally done with the haircut and grabbed the clippers, when she got back she notice House looked mad. "Why the hell do you care if she has a kid House, she left you, just get the hell over it already," she said mockingly.

House looked back up at her with cold eyes, "It just answered a question I'd been wondering ever since Wilson told me about the abortions. It wasn't that she didn't want kids, she just didn't want my kids... no those she went to a doctor for and got removed like a cancerous tumor."

Cuddy's eyes shimmered with regret as her mouth felt dry and she swallowed, "House, I.. I didn't think.."

"Don't... don't waste you breath, I'm over it," House said bitterly. "It's no big deal," he said softer and swallowed. She just stared at him not knowing what to do since he wouldn't let her apologize. He watched her standing there with the trimmers running and looked down, "The charge doesn't last long in those, so we should probably just get this done."

Cuddy looked at the trimmers and nodded as she stepped closer and started trimming up his beard. It didn't take long for her to get it looking more like the long scruff he usually had. She turned them off and took a step back as she looked at him, he looked better, but the scars were still pretty fresh and his cheekbone still seemed off.

House pulled the plastic bag off and used his right leg to scoot the chair over to his wheelchair, getting in and rolling off to the bathroom with out a word. He turned on the sink and dipped his head in rinse off the cut hairs and using his hands to rinse off his neck, then his beard last. He dried up using his towel and finally made his way to the mirror, something he had been avoiding. The hair cut she gave him looked a lot like how he use to cut it three or four years ago. The swelling had gone down completely and there were no more bruises on his face, just scars. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair pushing it back knowing that it would make his hair curl more like Cuddy liked. He rolled back out, "Looks good," he said noticing she'd already cleaned the mess.

Cuddy turned to him, "I'm glad you like it," she said softly.

He could see that she was upset and wheeled himself in front of the chair she was sitting in. House was waiting for her to look up at him but realized she was avoiding it. "You didn't do bad with the scalpel, you did the best you could. I know that."

She looked up at him with a deep frown, "What you said was cold, but me bringing up your father, the presents and especially Stacy, that was just cruel."

House shrugged it off, "I've had worse."

"That doesn't make it right," she said. He looked at her trying to figure out what to say when the doorbell rang but didn't he move he kept looking from the door to her. She sighed, "Go, it's fine."

House rolled over to the door and opened it getting the bags and signing the receipt, then wheeled himself over to the table and put the bags down. "Did you document that?"

"Document what?" Cuddy asked.

"Me buying food, it happens," He pouted, "but with out documentation it'll be thought of as only a myth."

Cuddy grinned at him, "I know I was right here and I'm already starting to disbelieve it. Let me see that receipt, so I can make sure you didn't use Wilson's card."

House handed her the receipt and then even got out his card from his wallet on the table so she could make sure the last four digits matched. "See bonafide proof that I am capable of purchasing food."

"Indian Garden, House I've never had Indian before," Cuddy said looking worried.

"I know, so tonight I'm introducing you to the delicacies of the Middle East. Join me on a tasty adventure of good food with lamb, chicken, a flat bread named naan and saffron rice." House said rolling over to her and putting his hand out.

Cuddy shook her head as she tried not to laugh and took his hand and stood up. He rolled over to a chair pulling it out and she sat down. "I'll be back," House said impersonating the Terminator and rolled off to the kitchen coming back with two plates and silverware, which he put on the table then disappeared again, next time bringing a gallon of milk and two glasses along with two bottled waters. When he was done both of them had complete plate setting with a bottle of water and a large glass of milk.

House smiled at her as he opened the foam containers. Cuddy inhaled the aroma and gave him a smile back, "It smells good."

"Just do what I do," he said and put a medium layer of rice on his plate, then watched Cuddy start doing the same. Then he used his knife to make two cuts across the plate quartering it and put a good helping of each of the four dishes on top of it's own quarter. Then he gave her two slices of the garlic naan.

"Okay before we dig in are you going to tell me what it is exactly I'm eating?" Cuddy said looking at the food.

"Fine, the yellowish one is Chicken Curry, and the one with the orange/red sauce is Butter Chicken with mushrooms, both of those are about the most basic and likeable by Americans. The green goo with brown cuts of meat is creamed spinach with lamb and there should be some pieces of cheese in it too which you will love because it has the texture of firm tofu. The last on is a combination of eggplant puree with tomatoes and onions. Now let the eating commence. I personally like to mix my with the rice below it, which is typical but eat it how ever you like, either way is good." House said mixing his up and then watching her.

Cuddy mixed her like she's seen House do and then took a bite of the Chicken Curry. She was surprised that it tasted way better than it looked. She looked over to House who was smiling still waiting on her to try the others. She smiled and then tried a bite of the Butter Chicken with wasn't all what she was expecting it had a sweet smooth taste and behind that was a hint of heat, together it was magical. Then she went for the eggplant dish with looked disgusting but once again it was bursting with unique flavors and tasted fresh and delicious, and finally she tried the lamb in the spinach and smiled as the lamb was tender and flavorful with the perfect creamed spinach to accompany it. When she was done chewing she looked to House who was wearing a smug grin, "Okay you're right it's really good."

House narrowed his eyes, "Don't lie, it's great... maybe even better than great, it's like me... better than great, the best."

Cuddy laughed, "If it's the best then why aren't you eating?"

House got a bite and stacked it on the edge of his naan, "Oh I'm about to I just wanted to make sure you didn't chicken out," he said then ate his bite. "Yep it's the best."

She looked down at the food and smiled, "I'm not sure it's quite as good as you."

He looked up at her and wagged his eyebrows, "You never know, it might have you moaning it's name after a couple of minutes."

Cuddy blushed, "Does that happen with you regularly?"

"Oh yeah..." House said deep and slow then winked at her and took another bite.

She shook her head and tried to ignore him, which got harder to do as they got more into the meal and he kept moaning and groaning while saying things like: it's so good, don't stop, oh yeah, that's it, come to daddy, and mm. Cuddy tried to push away the images of House above her saying those exact things while sweat rolled down his chest as he ….

"What you thinking about?" House asked as he had finally finish his plate.

Cuddy looked over at him and could feel the cool air on her hot cheeks, "Nothing, are you finally done making love to your food?"

He grinned, "For the moment, but you know me, I'm always up for seconds." She just nodded and started eating her food as House watched. "I didn't bother you did I?" he asked with a knowing smirk.

"No, not at all," She said refusing to look at him.

"Then is the food too hot because you're looking a little blushed," House said watching her.

Cuddy smiled and took a long sip of milk, "I'm fine House, but thanks for the concern." It didn't take her long to finish her meal and then she looked back at House, "It was delicious, I'm glad you got me to try it."

"I wanted to be the first to share the experience with you. You know now that we're friends I thought it would be nice to try sharing things," He said looking at her.

She gave a small smile and a relieved sigh, "I'm glad we are friends," she said getting up and taking the plates in the kitchen. "So are you going to let me watch your greatest hit's?"

House thought about it for a minute, "I guess, I'm not sure what all is on there."

Cuddy walked back in the room with a smile, "Only one way to know," she said and grabbed up the DVD and put it in the DVD player.

House rolled into the living room and Cuddy sat on the couch.

Stacy was on the screen, "Hello Greg, glad to see you finally opened my present, hope you like it." The screen blinked some and when the picture was clear again it was in the back of Martha and her son's restaurant where the karaoke machine was.

House had a twelve string guitar in his hands and started singing _Thank You_ by Led Zeppelin.

Cuddy looked at back at House to see him watching it with tensed jaw and a swallow every now and then. When it finally ended they both were relieved.

The screen flickered again and now a young House was on the screen wearing a white dress shirt and black jacket. "Oh no Stacy, don't record this it's bad enough you talked me into it," he said with irritation.

"Quit whining about it Greg, you'll be great. Where is your tie?" Stacy's voice said.

House looked down and back innocently, "I don't know, I could swear it was there just a moment ago."

The camera moved as Stacy did and then stopped when a black tie that had been cut into was shown in the trash then the camera went back on House, "You cut it, really mature Greg."

"I didn't do anything, maybe someone thought it looked hideous and uncomfortable on me and must have just walked by and done it with out my knowledge. You know how easily I'm distracted." He said giving her his best smile.

"You're an A S S," She said.

House laughed, "I'm pretty sure you pretend God can spell."

"Just shut up and give me a kiss then get out there." Stacy said, then the screen flickered again and House was standing on the stage of a church.

House rolled his eyes and groaned knowing what was coming and Cuddy watched him and then heard the House on the screen start sing _O' Come All Ye Faithful_. She looked back at the screen with wide eyes and then back at House on the couch.

"I use to sing in the choir when I was a kid, and Stacy found out and conned me into singing for Christmas show when one of the main singers got sick." House said begrudgingly.

Cuddy smiled, "You sound so sweet House, maybe you could sing at my church."

House narrowed his eyes on her, "Never again, I'm an Atheist remember."

"But you voice doesn't sound like an Atheist, it sounds smooth and angelic," Cuddy said with a smirk.

House shook his head and counted the seconds for the first song and _Hallelujah_ to get over. Soon it was over and he looked up to see the back of Martha's again and he started playing _House of the Rising Sun_.

Cuddy looked back at him, "You really do have a good voice and you sound good playing too."

"I'm better at playing then I am at singing, I use to want to be a musician and write my own music," he said watching himself on the TV.

"Why didn't you?" Cuddy asked.

House shrugged, "I've written a couple of pieces for myself and still do when I get in the mood, but I realized it was just a child's dream when I turned seven."

Cuddy frowned and looked back at the screen to see a young House dressed up in a nice three piece suit with a matching hat while the two Backster brothers each had a guitar. They broke out into _Sharp Dressed Man_ by ZZ Top while House sang and danced all around the stage.

House watched his younger self move with ease and laughed, "I wasn't bad was I."

Cuddy looked back at him, "I never knew you could dance like that, why didn't you go to some of the dances while you were at Hopkins?"

"I was a dork, had my head in every medical book, journal, and report I could find. I barely made time to play Lacrosse." House said and grimaced as he saw himself do the splits and stay that way.

Cuddy looked on the screen and started laughing and the younger House took some deep breath, and crawled off the stage at the end of the song.

House still had a grimace on his face, "Yes, it hurt as bad as it looked." The screen changed and he was at the same place but was now wearing a cowboy hat and chaps with a pair of tight fitting jeans and a red dress shirt and started play and singing _Check Yes or No_, by George Straight.

Cuddy blushed a little as she remembered him telling her about his crotchless chaps. "You make a fine cowboy House."

He laughed, "Oh you have know idea."

She shook her head refusing to look at him and watched the video when it was done the screen blinked and suddenly it was in House's bathroom and you could see House's outline as he bathed singing _Wish You Were Here_ by Pink Floyd.

"Wow, I can't believe she kept that," House said as he watched it.

Cuddy couldn't help but watch as his hands roamed his body as he bathed and sang and when he was done singing he started rinsing his hair and camera got closer and closer till Stacy pulled back the curtain and House jumped screaming and fell on his ass in the tub taking most of the curtain with him. The camera was on him as it bobbed and Stacy laughed, "I didn't startle you did I Greg?" she asked innocently.

House glared back at her, "Oh just wait until I get you back for this." The screen cut and once again it was back at Martha's restaurant and House was glaring at the camera. "No, I'm not doing it," he said looking at her.

"Greg, you know how this works. Everyone gets to pick a song and it's my pick." Stacy said.

"But it's a chick song, that's is actually sung by a chick," Greg said with irritation.

"I bet you'd do it if Cuddy asked," Stacy said with a bit of bitterness.

House looked mad, "I've told you nothings going on, and even if it was as many times as you've stepped out you have no right to act all holier than thou with me."

"Well I get lonely, half the nights you're up there till after one working on a patient and then when you get home your tired and pissed," Stacy said with anger.

House stepped closer, "I'm saving lives Stacy, what do you expect me to do? Sorry your going to have to die because I have to get home to make sure my girlfriend isn't fucking someone else!"

Stacy's hand slapped him hard on the face and he looked back at her with cold eyes. "Stop acting so pathetic Greg, and you wonder why I sleep with other men, it's no secret. It's because they aren't pathetic, now man up and sing the damn song." House grabbed a glass of liquor and chugged it down, then got up on the stage. Martha waved him over and he leaned down and then stood back up, "I'm fine Mama," he said then nodded to Richie who started the music to Celine Dion's, _My Heart Will Go On_.

Cuddy had flinched at the slap, it had been harder than she expected as she could clearly see the hand print on his face. "I never knew that you two fought about me."

"It wasn't you, it was her. She felt guilty for fucking everything that moved," House said with a tight voice.

Cuddy swallowed and looked over to House who was looking at the ground. Stacy's words had been cold and cutting and she thought about saying just that, but then she remembered that when he had broken things off she had called him pathetic. She hadn't really meant it, but she did say it so she just looked at the TV. He actually did a good job on the song. Then House and the brothers did _Nothing Else Matters_ by Metallic followed by _Bohemian Rhapsody_ by Queen which got Cuddy laughing as they did funny dances and faces to the song.

"I remember I really enjoyed doing that song," House said with a smile watching the end of the song.

Cuddy was happy to see him watching again, "Yep if only I'd known I was dating a rock star."

Soon the younger House was chugging on a bottle of alcohol and grabbed up a guitar and started play _How's It Going to Be_, by Third Eye Blind. Every word he sang was to Stacy with a hurt in his voice as he yelled the lyrics. When he was done with the song he took some more swigs off the bottle and walked out.

The screen now had House laying on the bed wearing a pair of pants and a shirt that said Evil Genius. "You really don't think I'll do it? I'll do it." He said with a grin.

"Fine, prove it and if you stop then you owe me a whole weekend. No going into work to check up on a patient, no calls. Just us," Stacy said.

House nodded, "When I win your going to be cooking for me every night for a week naked."

"Deal, now get to it if you're going to do it." Stacy said

House smiled and turned on the stereo behind him, and at the same time House tried to grab the remote from Cuddy who stood up on the couch holding it above her head.

The House on TV started dancing provocatively and then he started singing, it was _The Bad Touch_ by the BloodHound Gang. Cuddy watched as he rubbed himself and took off his shirt, which showed off his incredibly build muscles with scars and some bruises but he just kept singing to the camera and then his hands went in his pants as he rubbed himself and sang, it wasn't long before he took off the pants and stood up on the bed in his boxer briefs stroking himself inside the them as he danced. "I can't believe you're actually did that," Stacy said as the song came to a close.

House laughed, "Oh don't act like you aren't turned on," he said pulling her in front of the camera and kissing her hard as he ground against her. "You really want it rough," he asked with daring eyes.

"Oh god yes Greg," Stacy said.

House pushed her to the wall so her back was too him and there was a dresser covering the actual body parts except for his ass which was flexing now bare and their shoulder up, but the loud moans made it clear what was happening and suddenly the screen flickered. Cuddy paused the tape.

House looked up at her, "I tried to stop you," he said.

Cuddy jumped off the couch, "I can't believe you did that!"

"You're the one who watched it, you could have stopped it at anytime," House said looking at her.

Cuddy started laughing, "Oh my god, you are so bad."

House was relieved she was laughing, before he'd be afraid she'd gotten mad or hurt. "So, you liked it?"

Cuddy's smiled, "It was hilarious, this is just what I need for our Christmas party this year."

"There's no way that you'd show that," House said looking at her with a smug grin.

Cuddy shook her head, "Me, of course not. But if you got into my stuff and put it in with the automatic slide show with out my knowledge, what could I do, besides have a fit after the fact."

"You wouldn't do it, you don't want every woman in the hospital seeing me like that." House said watching her.

Cuddy grinned, "And why wouldn't I?"

House grinned, "Because you don't want them thinking about me and getting horny. I'm only your man candy. You don't want them thinking about this video when they're home alone in bed. I have nothing to be ashamed of, I was all muscle and those underwear show how big my package is, so do what you want," he said smugly.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him, he was right of course. She had almost forgotten how muscular he had been, he was still fit, but like the video showed, he use to be built like a Greek God. "You're right your body looks great in the video, minus the scars and bruises, but don't act like you don't care, because we both know you don't want people seeing you almost naked while masturbating to that song. So I have a deal, I won't show it if you sing at my next two Donor Party."

House looked her up and down while thinking about it, "I get to pick the songs," he said eying her.

"Of course, the next on is April 22, Earth Day, two weeks away. You think you'll be up to it." She said with a grin.

House smiled, "Sure, and just so you know I'm not doing this because I'm afraid of you showing that video. I'm doing this to show off my mad skills."

Cuddy smiled and pressed the play button and a young House was strapping on a guitar and started playing _Simple Man_, by Lynyard Skynyrd. They both watched enjoying themselves and when it was done the screen flipped to in House's apartment again.

"Come on Greg, please," Stacy pleaded.

Greg rolled his eyes, "Stacy I'm tired and.. I lost a patient today."

Stacy put the camera down so it showed him sitting on the couch with the piano behind him as she walked over and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "I turned the camera off okay. I'm sorry baby, but it isn't your fault."

"Then who's fault is it Stacy!" He said loudly and looked down, "I didn't even found out what she had. I had to go and tell the family she'd died and I couldn't even give them a reason."

"Greg, you didn't even come home last night because you were working trying to figure it out. You can't blame yourself for this." Stacy said and reached a hand out to him.

He jerked back, "Don't, you know I don't like to be touched when I'm this way. (Scoff) Cuddy couldn't even look at me and Chase gave me this stupid story about letting things go. Meanwhile some kid is being told that his Oma is dead."

Stacy sighed, "Greg, she wasn't your Oma."

"But she was someones! She looked just like Oma, sounded like her too." Greg said shaking his head, "That's what I was thinking about, that's why this happened, because I was thinking about her and..."

"It's okay to feel things, you're allowed to have feelings," Stacy said softly.

Greg shook his head, "Not if it cost someone their life."

Stacy stood up, "Come on, play something on the piano. It'll make you feel better."

House sighed, "I don't deserve to feel better."

"Fine then don't play for yourself, play something your Oma would have liked." Stacy said looking down at him.

House stood up, "Okay," he said and walked over the piano and started playing _Desperado_, by the Eagles.

House watch the TV and closed his eyes and sang with his younger self when the song was over he open his eyes, "She loved that song," he said softly.

Cuddy swallowed as she continued to watch and the screen finally changed and he was once again in the back of Martha and the brothers Restaurant. The younger Greg was finished a beer and then took a double shot of something. "Hey Stacy baby, want me to sing you something," He said as he walked over obviously drunk.

"I don't think so, I think it's time we went home," Stacy said.

House pulled her up and held her close to him, "Come on baby, loosen up and have some fun."

Stacy gave him a warning look, "You look like you've had too much fun."

"I've got the perfect song," He chimed and then kissed her neck.

Stacy giggled and pulled away from him, "Fine, sing me something, but then we're leaving."

He walked over to the karaoke machined and pressed some buttons then started sing _Pour Some Sugar on Me_, by Def Leppard. The brothers were laughing and one of them shook up a beer and opened it letting it spew all over him. House just kept going and threw off the soaked shirt then got on his knees singing and grinding and the other brother got a sugar dispenser and poured sugar on him as he sang. House ran his hands over his torso while looking at Stacy and singing. When the song was over he licked his hand and then spit, "The song say's sugar not salt Richie!" Then the screen went blank.


	56. Chapter 56: Late Night Talk

_Sorry it's taken me so long to post, but with the holidays and work it's been kind of crazy. I hope you really enjoy this chapter it was fun to write and as always I tried to be true to how I see the characters. I love to hear feedback so write a review._

"Well that was interesting," Cuddy said looking over at House.

House felt raw and vulnerable on the inside. The video had reminded him of what all he'd lost in the past fifteen years and how much more he might loose. He wanted to talk to her to vent and to try to get her to understand why he'd changed so much from the man on the video but he couldn't. She could never understand, she could have an idea, but never really get what his life was like because the kind of things that had happened to him hadn't and hopefully never would happen to her. "I need to start getting ready for bed, and I'm sure you need to get back to Rachel," he said not taking his eyes off the TV.

Cuddy knew this was his way of asking her to leave and looked at the clock, "It's only nine I have the sitter with Rachel until eleven and I was hoping to spend that time with you. So if you want me to go, I will but don't put this on Rachel or me," she said watching him.

I don't want you to leave, he thought as he closed his eyes taking a deep breath. He thought of what he'd learned from his father and in his military training, finding that inner strength and doing what must be done even if it's not what you want. His face fell into place and thought it wasn't as strong as he would have liked he knew he could hold it. He opened his eyes and looked at her, "I was trying a new concept called manners, but have it your way. I want you to leave."

He had said it clear and crisp without hesitating on a word and she could tell he had meant it. House's eye were guarded by a inhuman coldness that only reflected the image of the person in front of them but held no emotion of their own. He was shutting her out, but for what reason she didn't know, "Okay," she said and stood up.

House made no effort to look up at her, "If you want to make a plate of some of the Indian food to take home you can. I'll never get though it all."

It was House's way of saying that he wasn't made at her and she knew him well enough to get it. She looked back at the food, and wished she could go back to earlier that night when they were eating and he was acting obnoxious and like his old self while they laughed. "Thank you, I think I will make a plate to take home, I'm glad you shared it with me. It was the best."

House kept his face in check and nodded. He could hear her as she grabbed out a container and fixed her some to take home, he even heard her when she walked up right behind his chair. "I enjoyed spending time with you House."

He didn't respond, he knew it was a trap. If he agreed, then she would ask him why he wanted her to leave and if he said it hadn't been enjoyable for him then she'd get hurt. He just let the indifference of his silence speak for it's self.

Cuddy was a little surprised he hadn't said anything, but she knew he wasn't mad at her, and she was fairly sure he'd enjoyed most of the evening as well. He was probably tired it had been a long day for him and he'd been on a emotional roller-coaster for most of it. "I'll see you at work tomorrow," She said and left.

His body relaxed as the door shut. It seemed like it had been an eternity since he had been alone and he relished in the quiet. He rolled over to the DVD player and took out the DVD while turning the TV off. He hated it and treasured it at the same time, all for the same reasons, which didn't seem to make sense but sometimes the truth didn't. He put it back up in the case it had come in and then looked at the presents that sat on the coffee table. When he was done boxing stuff up he had a box of the toys that he really had no interest in keeping because they were for baby's that he would give to Cuddy for Rachel, two boxes that were for him to unpack at home, and two boxes of things he planned to put up in his office.

He put the book, _Atlas of Cancer Mortality in Poland_, on Wilson's desk. He found himself sitting there in his wheelchair looking around the room, wondering if Wilson was the man he was because of what had happened to him, or if Wilson's life had been better in general than his own because he was a better man to start with. The room had light happy colors in it instead of the dark dreary colors that bathed his room at home. Could happy colors held reduce the pain his disability caused him or worry about having HIV? Probably not... but maybe then again what could it hurt. The letter he had read from his Oma had been so touching and made him feel even a closer bond to the woman. She had known, with out him telling her or seeing it. She had cared enough to just pay attention and see what should have been obvious.

He slammed his fist on the desk he'd put the book on and closed his eyes in shame as he felt hot tears rolling down his face. If he hadn't been such a coward he never would have had to go in the Marines. He wouldn't have had to kill people, or know the loss of loosing soldiers when he was over them. He wouldn't have ever been a POW and those men... never... would've... He was crying so hard it was a struggle just to breath let alone think. He had never thought there was a real way out, but there had been. The one thing he honestly hadn't blamed himself for and it turns out it was his fault... if he'd just opened that package he never would have gone. Everything that had happened to him was because of his own weak decisions, the leg because of the coma, the Marines because of his fear, even the attack in his own house because he had to have a nap. He finally tried to catch his breath again and calm down some.

"House you okay?" Wilson asked standing in the doorway looking into the unlit room at the dark figure.

House wondered how long he'd been sitting there crying. He was thankful the light wasn't on and looked to see Wilson moving his hand towards it, "Please just leave it off."

Wilson let his hand drop to his side and swallowed. He walked into the room and leaned back against the wall. "Talk to me House," he said in a pleading voice.

"How long have you been there?" House asked still trying to calm down.

"Long enough that I'm not going to leave this alone," he said as his eyes finally were adjusting to light.

House sighed, "I'll talk under one condition."

Wilson was surprised that House wasn't putting up a bigger fight. "What's the condition?"

"I don't want to hear any of that shiny optimism you are always pushing down your dying patents throats," he said tiredly.

It was a hard request for Wilson, but he wanted House to talk to him, "Alright."

"That letter that was in the box with money and the bus ticket was a plea from my Oma for me to run away and live with her instead of going to the Marines," House said looking at his friend.

Wilson thought about what he had said, "Oma didn't want you to go into the Marines?"

House scoffed, "No, she said I was too special and rare to die for noble causes before I'd even lived. She wanted me to become a doctor; she even said that she'd pay for my schooling."

"Not much got past your Oma did it, except that you weren't allow to open gifts that is," Wilson said softly.

"She suspected that I hadn't gotten them, but said that she was praying I would find that one and open it. She had it all planned out, I could buy different clothes with hat and sunglasses so the workers wouldn't be able to identify me if my parents came asking about me. She even said she wouldn't tell my mother, because she didn't trust her not to tell my father where I was, but I was a coward." House said bitterly looking down.

Wilson gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, "This was John's fault not yours. There has never been a better use of the phrase 'The sins of the father fall upon the son.' He's the one that enlisted you without considering what you wanted. He's the one that wouldn't allow you to open your gifts, and with the punishment leading to frostbite at the age of seven you weren't a being a coward, you were being smart."

"What did I tell you about saying that optimistic crap?" House said looking at Wilson.

"What I'm saying is far from optimistic!" Wilson scoffed, "It's depressing and sad but it's true. Just because he told you that every thing that happened was you're fault doesn't mean it was true. Yes we all have decisions in life but House you were sixteen, just a kid, and John was a full grown adult. Have you even taken the time to consider what would have happened if you had opened that present and John had found out before you got away?"

House sighed, "Nothing much probably, he just would have chained me up and since we were in the US then and it was June there wouldn't be any real worry."

Wilson looked at House dumbfounded that he didn't seem to think this was a big deal, "What kind of person chains up a child outside period. I don't think I would have made it in your family House, I would have killed myself before I ever got out." House looked down and away from Wilson and seemed to shrink some. "Oh God," Wilson said in a whisper realizing that House's reaction was a involuntary confession and looked up, "Parents shouldn't make you want to commit suicide Greg."

House swallowed, "I was weak minded and scared about going to the Marines, it wasn't their fault. Don't tell Cuddy about this."

"You aren't weak minded! You are the strongest man I know mentally, physically, and emotionally. Also I wont tell Cuddy anything you don't want me to tell her, but she does care about you and I don't think she would think less of you if you talked to her about it, but that's your decision to make." Wilson said as he walked closer and sat down on the edge of the bed.

House wanted to believe Wilson but couldn't, "You keep calling him John, why is that?"

"Because he doesn't deserve to be called a father or dad or parent. Those titles are for adults who take care and protect their children, not take advantage of their role to abuse and force them into what they want rather than what the child wants." Wilson said in a calm but harsh tone.

House looked him in the eyes, "I wasn't abused except maybe once, and all parents try to force their kids into what they think is best. It's called guidance, although it is sometimes down a stupid path, my father like all parents thought he was doing the best for me."

"Wow was his brainwashing that good or are you just afraid to see it for what it was Greg? He chained you up outside who knows how many times and for how long which resulted in you getting frostbite at least once. He made you take ice baths and then drowned you. You were only allowed one piece of toast and made to eat outside for breakfast. All of that is abuse!" Wilson said in a huff.

"Who told you about the ice baths?" House said eying him.

Wilson ran a hand through his hair, "In the hospital you were talking in your sleep."

"Were you the only one that heard it?" House asked anxiously.

Wilson sighed, "Cuddy was there, but it's okay she doesn't think any less of you House."

"It wasn't abuse! It was a punishment and a learning experience. I learned how to block out the cold of my environment over time and I got to the point I could hold my breath for right around six minutes. I didn't always like the techniques he used but he didn't do it because he wanted to see me in pain. He coached me on how to adapt, and make it in the harshest of conditions. If it wasn't for what he did I wouldn't have made it through my time in the Marines or be able to to walk now!" House said loudly.

"He tortured you Greg! And if it wasn't for him you wouldn't have had to go to the Marines in the first place! Can you really tell me that you think what he did was right? That if you had a child you would do that to them? If Cuddy and you got married would you do that to Rachel?" Wilson yelled.

House was shaking, "You don't know what you are talking about! He loved me even though I wasn't his! Maybe it was unorthodox but his whole family had been in the Marines and been thought a lot of the same lessons. He just wanted me to be successful, isn't that what every parent wants for their child?"

Wilson was stunned into silence. House couldn't admit it was abuse, because if he did that then it meant John hadn't really loved him and he turned into a victim rather than a student. This was touchy ground he need House to come to the conclusion his self, because yelling it was only pushing him away. He calmed himself the best he could, "But there are usually limits to that right? If I wanted my kid to be a firefighter I don't just light a house on fire and throw the kid into it."

"That's different, you could kill a kid by doing that," House said.

"And the things John did to you, they were totally safe?" Wilson asked trying to keep the skepticism out of his voice.

House frowned, "I technically died five times, but the doctors always got me breathing and my heart pumping again. There was never any permanent damage done."

Wilson felt his eyes fill with tears. How could House not really see John for the monster he was. What parent pushes the limit to the point of actually killing their child to teach them a fucking lesson and where was his mother during this. "And your mother was okay knowing John had actually killed you?"

House looked down, "She didn't know about how things came to be. He always was good at coming up with a story about how things happened when I had to go to the hospital."

"Why would he lie about how you got hurt?" Wilson asked looking at House.

House shrugged, "He knew other people wouldn't understand."

"That makes since for the doctors, but why didn't he or you tell your mother?" Wilson asked.

House thought about this, "He said my mother wasn't good at keeping secrets, and that if she found out and accidentally let it slip to someone the government would take me away from them and put me in an orphanage. He said that she would die of a broken heart if they took me away."

Wilson sighed, "That's not what would have happened."

"I know," House said softly. "She knows now, and said that if she'd know then that she would have taken me away from him."

"Why do you hate him? I mean if you are okay with everything he did to you." Wilson asked.

House looked at him, "One time he crossed a line, did something I've never been able to forgive him for."

Wilson blinked, "Only once," he said and felt a cold chill run thru him, "What did he do?"

"How did your date go?" House asked side stepping the question.

"What did he do to you House?" Wilson asked not letting it go.

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "It's none of your business. Why do you hate my father when he didn't do anything you? Why do you even care?"

"I hate him because he hurt you House! And I care because I love you as if you were my own brother. He's one of the few people I would have loved to been able to give him the news his cancer was terminal!" Wilson said and took a deep breath to calm himself, "You were doing so good House, don't stop now."

"Well when you say it that way... NO!" House said.

"House.." Wilson started.

"Dammit Wilson I'm not answering the fucking question," House said with piercing eyes.

Wilson nodded in acceptance, "Okay, I wanted to ask you something else," House narrowed his eyes on Wilson. "I swear it has nothing to do with John."

House licked his lips, "You can ask and then I'll decide if I'll answer."

Wilson looked down, "You have a lot of scares..."

"One hundred seventy-three to be exact," House offered.

Wilson looked up at him, "Why does the scar on your leg bother you so much more than the others?"

House blinked at him surprised, "No one's ever asked me that."

Wilson swallowed nervously, "It's just I thought I knew why, because it looked bad, but then... you got attacked and the scar on you neck attracts attention but you haven't tried to hide it which would be pretty easy to do since it's still cold. I even put some turtlenecks in your closet and you haven't worn one."

"So you put those God awful things in there," House said rolling his eyes. "The other scars don't bother me as much because I've recovered from them, just like I will these new ones, but the leg," he paused looking down at it, "I'll never.. I know I'll never walk without pain and a limp. I'll never run again or play a game of Lacrosse. I'm not ashamed of what I've been through and recovered from, just for people to see the weakness of what I was never able to overcome."

Wilson looked at House who was still staring at the offending limb. "You were never supposed to be able to walk, but you did. As bad as the damage was you recovered better than anyone could have imagined, why would you be ashamed of that?"

"Because it never would have been like this if I hadn't asked to be put in a coma," House said loudly with irritation.

Wilson frowned, "And if you hadn't you probably would have died."

"Probably," House scoffed, "If I made medical decision based on statistics and probability most of my patients would die. I save people because I take risk, most of the times it pays off, sometimes it doesn't. Waiting to see if any of the muscle could be saved wasn't personal, personally it hurt so bad I just wanted it over, but as a doctor, even if I wasn't the patient, my opinion would have been the same. And why is it exactly that everyone always says I could have died but never say's the other option which is that I could have recovered complete muscle function."

Wilson thought about House's question and sighed, "Because we would rather have you damaged and crippled than to not have you at all."

"That's easy for you to say, you don't have to live with it," House said glaring at him. "The pain is a constant varying on feeling like a nail is being pushed in, to a blinding hot pain that makes it hard to breath. When I used morphine or three vicodin sometimes I could get it down to a throbbing like the pain you have the first hour after shutting you hand in the car, but that's as good as it gets unless I use one of those tranquilizers shots, but then I can't walk." House gave a grin and chuckled, "It's like having a bad wife, I have to check in with my leg before I do anything. Can I go to the bar tonight, better ask. Should I go to the lab to talk to the team or call them, better ask. Should I go to the bathroom now or later, better ask. Can I walk to the bedroom or do I have to drag myself in, better ask. Can I eat today, better ask. It makes sex... awkward and even though the pain gets pushed to the back of your mind it's still there, still hurting and after... well then you get the excruciating cramping and when you finally work through that you wake up and have spasms. I can't play the piano too long or it gets irritated." His voice has become more bitter as he continued along with his eyes becoming more distant. He shook his head at the end of the rant and looked at Wilson, "You were right Wilson, I am miserable."

Wilson was scared by the hopelessness in his voice, "You're mom called me Christmas night in two thousand six, because she said you left a message and when she called back you back later you wouldn't pick up. That's the reason I came over that Christmas and when I found you..." He stopped unable to make himself go farther.

House swallowed, "I thought I was about to lose the only things that made my life halfway worth living, my job and my friend, and that I would be forced into a rehab and the pain would get so bad I couldn't even walk. Add my usually miserable life to hurt from feeling betrayed and losing a friend, and then again to the fear of never doing what I love, and it equals an intolerable existence."

The emotion in his words shook Wilson and made him open his eyes to what he always tried to ignore. House was depressed, anyone would be, but exactly how depressed? How many times had his friend attempted to kill himself? Why hadn't he succeeded? Wilson already knew the answer to that, House wanted to make it look like an accident and that meant not doing something too direct. Suddenly he was reminded of House's attempt to get a new drug shot into his brain for depression, by pretending to be a cancer patient. Maybe House wasn't trying to get high... maybe he had realized after the suicide attempt that he needed help and that it had been his way of trying to get better. Fuck! Why hadn't he put that together sooner? He walked in to find his genius friend hardly breathing with a pool of vomit that smelled of liquor and was filled with pills and then only three months later he finds out he had gotten himself into a trial for a anti-depressant on steroids. He had accused House of trying to being reckless, but in reality he was honestly trying to get help for the depression that his pride made it impossible for him to admit to. Wilson blinked looking at House and could see the man was preparing himself for Wilson's judging words. "I'm sorry I have been such a stupid friend that..."

"I don't blame you for the Tritter thing so..." House started but was interrupted by Wilson.

"Don't interrupt me!" Wilson said loudly and House closed he mouth looking at Wilson with worry. "I've done so many stupid things you don't even know which one I'm talking about. How do you do it House? Everyone is blinded by the obvious sometimes, especially when it isn't something they want to see or admit but not to. You see it and say it. You knew every time I started falling for some woman other than my wife most of the time before I even knew it and you called me on it and tried to convince me not to. And you did it because you were trying to be a good friend and I want you to know, that is why I have to say this. You are depressed and you need to get help because... you are riding a line right now between intolerable and barely tolerable, and I don't want to see you end up on the wrong side of that. I'm selfish House, but you already knew that, didn't you? I don't know if I'll recover from losing you and I don't want to have to find out. So please, let me take you to Dr. Ryan's at two this Thursday and talk to her. Please," Wilson said imploringly.

"You mean you aren't going to just drug my coffee with anti-depressants this time?" House said with a smirk trying to take away some of the tension.

"No, I'm not going to try and force something on you House. I have a feeling that's been done so much in your life that it's one of the biggest reasons you have a hard time being close and trusting people, and I want you to be able to trust me." Wilson said with meaning.

"I'll never be happy Wilson," House said.

Wilson sighed, "You're probably right."

House look to be thinking about it some and then nodded, "Thursday take a long lunch from one to three and don't write the appointment down on your calenders at work. I don't want ANYONE to know, that includes Cuddy. Also I was wondering if you would take me Friday for my first testing since I can't drive yet."

"Yeah, I'd be glad to," Wilson said hoping the news would be good.

House looked uncomfortable, "I'm tired, I'll see you in the morning," he said and rolled out of the room.


	57. Chapter 57: Professional Distance

Wilson looked over at House who was looking out the window. It was obvious he hadn't slept much if any the night before by his worn features and the amount of stuff that was done when Wilson had woke up. House had been ready to go when Wilson woke up with the boxes he wanted to take to work and the one for Rachel by the door, the coffee was made and had several cups missing, the kitchen cleaned, a lunch already packed for House, medicine taken, some toast waiting for Wilson, and House's bed was made and the room cleaned with fresh laundry folded on the bed. Wilson had hurried himself getting ready and made a couple of comments about appreciating what had been done, but he still hadn't managed to get a word out of House. The only time the man had even glanced at him was when he said he was ready to go. "Thanks for the book," Wilson said making sure to just stare at the road.

"Cancer just doesn't do it for me like it does you," House replied.

Wilson glance over to see House was still staring out the window, "Well you know me nothing's sexier than the smell of radiation and the feel of a bald head." That at least earned him a grin from his older friend. "Do you actually have an appointment for Friday or are you just planning on showing up?"

"Ten in the morning in the clinic, Jackie's going to do it," House said then swallowed.

Wilson looked back at the road and pulled into the Hospital parking lot, "I'm glad you asked me to come."

"Actually I asked you for a ride, you know how much I hate to waste money on taxi's, but if you're going to go all misty eyed on me I think I'd rather pay the taxi." House said glancing over at him.

Wilson had on a small smile, "I promise I'll try to keep my caring down to the minimal level."

House raised an eyebrow, "Yeah and for some reason I have a hard time believing that."

Wilson raised his hand in a scouts honor, "I promise," he said. They took his boxes for the office up and then House went back down to talk to Cuddy.

"She's in a meeting," Cuddy's male assistant told him.

"This will only take a second," House said rolling toward the door.

The assistant got up and grabbed House's arm, "I said she's in a meeting."

"And I'm telling you to get your hand off of me!" House bellowed.

The assistant smiled, "Or what? You going to scream and then run... I mean roll away?"

Cuddy and an Asian man in a suit came out to see House shove the assistant against the wall. "Dr. House in my office now!" She screeched. House looked at her with wide eyes and she could see the fear in them and the shaking of his hands, "Just go in." He looked hesitant and both her and the suited man parted leaving him plenty of room and he rolled inside and she shut the door not joining him. House listened at the door.

"Sorry Mr. Ying, I swear it would be easier to run a daycare some days," Cuddy said and then gave soft feminine giggle.

"I know what you mean Dr. Cuddy. So that was Dr. House, I've heard a lot about him, but I was told used a cane not that he was in a wheelchair," Mr. Ying said.

"He did use a cane, but... his other leg was broken recently and he's still recovering," She said with some tension in her voice.

Mr. Ying laughed, "With an attitude like that I can't imagine how. That is the price for great men. Anyone who is truly great at what they do have to be passionate, and passion is a hard thing to control. Have you got Dr. House under control?"

"Yes, everything is fine, I assure you and I'm looking forward to seeing April 22," Cuddy said in a way that House could hear her smile.

"As am I, thank you Dr. Cuddy and I hope you have a pleasant day," Mr. Ying said.

"Thank you and I wish you well in your traveling," Cuddy said sweetly.

House could hear someone leaving probably Ying and the door from the lobby to the assistants office closed, "What happened?" Cuddy asked sharply.

"House being House as usual," The assistant said shortly.

"Doctor House to you Nathan, now what happened?" Cuddy said obviously not amused.

"He came in wanting to talk to you and I told him you were in a meeting, which he ignored and started to roll on past me, so I grabbed his arm and you saw the rest." Nathan said with irritation. "If it wouldn't just cause you more headache I would go to human resource and report him, but it would just fall back on you and I refuse to let him cause anymore problems for other because of his actions."

"Don't ever physically restrain someone from coming into my office again, do you understand me. That scene made you both look like idiots, if he had come in and interrupted he would have been rude, but that would be better than joining his stupidity." Cuddy said in a sympathetic voice then opened the door to find herself face to face with House. She rolled her eyes, "I can't get in with you in the way." House rolled back some and she walked in closing the door, "What was so important it couldn't wait House?" She said with stern features.

"Aren't you going to ask for my side?" House asked with his hands wrapped tightly around the end of his armrests.

Cuddy knew it wasn't a gesture of anger, but his way of trying to keep his hands from shaking. "No, he isn't reporting anything to Human Resources so I'd rather not waste my time."

"Fine, I brought a box of toys for Rachel, it's in the back of Wilson's car," House said and turned toward the door.

"Toys? What toys?" Cuddy said walking toward him.

"You left the bear, and there were some other gifts my Oma gave me that just don't hold my interest as a grown up. I thought she might like them," He flatly.

Cuddy hated how talked about it all as if it was nothing when she knew it had meant a great deal to him, "Are you sure, I mean they were presents from your Oma and some day you might have kids of your own."

"Yeah, if only I could find someone willing to not abort my demon spawn right?" He said bitterly.

Cuddy could see he was upset, "House are you sure you're ready to be back?"

He looked up at her, "I'm fine, is your car unlocked so I can put the box in your car?"

"No, I'll come with you," She said with concern.

House quickly rolled out with Cuddy following him, the tabs of her heels were constant but he didn't slow down and she felt silly asking him to. How many times had they walked fast forcing him to limp quickly behind. When she finally came to a stop they were at Wilson's car. The sun was out and she could see him clearly and it wasn't pretty. The outside light made the paleness of his skin more apparent and his scars seems harsher against it. She would swear his wrinkles had doubled and the dark circle around is eyes were so dark they could be mistaken for bruises. "How much sleep did you get last night?" She asked

House pulled the box out of the car to his lap and looked up at her, "You don't have to pretend to care about me like you do other people, so just cut the crap and get moving I don't want to be sitting out here all day."

Cuddy looked taken aback but slowly started walking in the direction of her car. "You think I'm pretending to care?"

"You always are having to pretend with everyone, why should I think I'm any different to you?" House said rolling beside her.

Cuddy stopped and turned to him, "House why are you acting like this?"

"ME ACTING! Wow, that's rich and who are you right now, just so I know. Are you Dr. Cuddy my boss, or Cuddy my friend, or Lisa the woman who wants to fuck me but wont admit it to anyone?" House said loudly.

Cuddy looked around to see if anyone had witnessed the scene he was making and was relieved to see no one was around. "I'm not pretending to be those things House, I am those things for the most part."

"Your assistant grabs me and when I ask if you want to hear my side you said it would be a waste of your time, but then you walk me out here and start looking all concerned, wondering if I've slept enough. Either you care or you don't, which is it?" House said with penetrating eyes.

"I care, but I doubt that your side was any different then the story he told me, and at work I'm trying to keep a professional distance," She said looking down at him and notice his breathing seem labored.

House rolled his eyes, "Yes, let's completely ignore the fact that you have a troubling personality disorder. Which way to your car?"

Cuddy started walking again, "Was your side different?"

"I told him to get his hand off of me, and he asked if I was going to scream and then roll away if he didn't," House said flatly.

Cuddy glanced over to him and still could tell his breathing was labored, "Your breathing seems a little labored, are you okay?"

House sighed, "Just tired, Wilson kept me up chatting like the school girl he is and then I couldn't get to sleep."

Cuddy welcomed a new topic, "So how did his date go last night?"

"Good," House said shortly realizing that Wilson never actually answered when he asked him, but assumed it must have.

Cuddy stopped at her car and opened the trunk and House put the box inside it. She closed the back and looked back to see that he had already started rolling quickly away. "House," she called out to him.

"Just trying to do my part in keeping a professional distance," he called back not slowing down.

Wilson walked out to the nurses station and glance over to House's office to see the man looking through a file. He smiled to himself that meant he had some time and then went back to his office locking the door. He felt ting of guilt but ignored it as he made the phone call.

"Headquarters for the United States Military Human Resources Department, this is Tammy speaking how may I assist you?" The woman said on the other line.

Wilson swallowed as his guilt seemed to triple, "Hello Tammy, I'm Dr. James Wilson at Preston Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey. I need all the medical files you have on a Gregory House."

"I will need proof you are his Doctor, your last billing to him or even prescription will work, a signed release of consent signed by Mr. House of course, the same form has a place he can put his DOB and social security number so I can look him up. Do you have any idea where he was stationed or how many years of records we are talking about?" Tammy asked professionally.

"He lived on different Military base's his whole life, his father was a Marine pilot. He also served eight years himself, so around twenty four years worth spread all around the world. Can you fax the forms to me, so I can get them filled out and him to sigh it?" Wilson asked nervously.

"Well as of 2000 all of our files have been backed up in our computers so it shouldn't take to long, to pull them up since it will pull up anything associated with the social, but I must let you know that the documents will have to be sent classified to your office and that you are responsible for the payment of that. We can't send the files until payment for the shipping has been handled so once I pull everything up and print it off how would you like me to contact you or your office for payment?" Tammy asked.

Wilson really wanted to keep the paper trail as little as possible. "You can send it to my email, that is DRJWilsonPPTH.edu."

"That will be fine, and yes I'll just fax you the proper forms and you can get him to sign on his next appointment. You have two options for how the files are organized, we can do it by year or by time spent at different bases, which would you prefer?" She asked.

"By year will be fine and my fax number is (609) 783- 9100." Wilson said looking out his balcony door to see if he could see House.

"I am doing that right now, was there anything else you needed at the moment?" Tammy asked.

"No ma'am, thank you," Wilson said.

"Have a nice day Dr. Wilson." Tammy said and hung up the phone.

Wilson sat down the phone debating for what seemed like the hundredth time if he had made the right decision. House had been opening up more and trusting him and if he found out about this then it could damage that progress but at the same time Wilson needed to see those files to get a better picture of what all House had been through and if what his father did constituted abuse or not. Wilson filled out the forms then wrote a prescription for House. He stared at the signature line for the consent form and sighed. This should be easy, House had forged his signature so why did he feel so bad about this. Of course it might be because House was in an amount of pain that he knew he would never be able to understand, and it didn't help that House had actually came to him looking for help and Wilson had blamed House for not trying hard enough. Wilson swallowed as the guilt threatened to drown him and then he took a deep breath of air. House had looked up his work file just to try and figure out why he was so interested in a case. So in all reality Wilson wasn't doing anything House hadn't done, looking up files and forging a signature. House would understand that he had only done it because he was concerned if he found out. Yeah... that's right, he'll understand, and you know he'll forgive you... but should he? Oh, for God's sakes if you're going to do it just get it done with! Wilson blinked the idea that House was in his head worried him some, but he took the advise and signed it then faxed it back to the number on the header.

"Hello," Cameron said cracking the door to the DDX room and looking at House.

House looked up from his file momentarily, "I thought you quit?" he retorted.

Cameron smiled walking in, "I was just wanting to see how you were doing back at work."

His shoulders shrugged, "It's better than being bored to death in Wilson's apartment."

Cameron looked from the file to him, "That must be an important file if you can't even look away from it."

"Not really I already have an idea, but it'll be good practice for my team," House said still refusing to look up.

"If I was topless you'd look up," She said in with a grin.

House smiled still looking at the file, "Unless you finally hit puberty then there wouldn't be anything interesting to see."

Cameron shook her head, "If you had hit puberty you wouldn't feel the need to make jokes like that."

House looked up at her with a grin and narrowed eyes, "I make jokes like that because I hit puberty."

Cameron's smile faded and her eyes held sorrow and concern, "Jesus House, you look horrible." He looked her up and down trying to come up with a good comeback, but started in a coughing fit instead. "You need to get that looked at," She said with worry.

House took a sip of his coffee, "I'm fine just got choked up over your kind words."

Cameron sighed, "I heard about the cafeteria and last night Foreman said that you announced you have ETP."

"Glad he passed along the message, now I don't have to send out those cards I picked up with the stick man getting electrocuted with a smile asking 'What's cooking'." House said with a fake smile that showed too many teeth and looked more like a great white about to take a bite then a real smile.

"He wasn't telling us for gossip, he's worried about you and so are we," Cameron said softly.

House looked at her and then made obvious gestures of looking all around her, "We... hm, are you seeing someone I'm not, if so you might want to worry less about me and more about yourself."

"Robert and me," She said.

"Really? But only you seemed to feel the need to come and tell me, interesting," He said.

Before Cameron could say anything Foreman walked in looking at the two of them and taking a seat at the DDX table. "Dr. Foreman are you worried about me?" House asked watching him.

Foreman glanced at Cameron and then back to House, "Yes I am, and yes I expressed that to Cameron and Chase, but I didn't think she was going to come here and bug you about it."

House rolled his eyes, "You thought Miss Cares-too-much wouldn't hunt me down and suffocate me with pity... please."

"I didn't suffocate you..." Cameron started.

House interrupted, "You can go Dr. Cameron and please don't come back to this office unless you have a interesting medical case for me since I'm here to work. If you want to talk to me on a personal matter then you should do that during a time neither of us is working, or never. The choice is yours."

Cameron got up, "Just because you don't care about anybody but yourself doesn't mean it's the same for everybody else," she said and was gone.

House watched as Foreman shook his head as he watched her leave. "Oh don't do that sympathetic shake of the head. You knew what would happen the moment you decided to tell her about the ETP. This was your fault."

Foreman looked over at House, "You're right House, how dumb was I to think that you telling us about the ETP was anything more that what you said it was, covering your ass." He chuckled, "I actually thought you were trying to open up to us, but you can't can you House? It's impossible for you to let anyone in."

Let me in... how many times had he heard that phrase. He had tried before with Stacy, he'd tried so hard and then she used some of his most painful memories against him during fights, and then she left him. He felt sick, as he thought about what happened to his first friend he'd told secrets too, poor Rocket. He jerked hard and blinked looking at Foreman who had out his pen light looking in his eyes.

Foreman had expected a snappy reply not for the man to look scared and sad looking into nothing. After a few seconds he'd call House's name, but he hadn't responded and that's when Foreman had noticed he was shaking, and his mouth was mumbling something so silently Foreman couldn't hardly make it out. It sounded like 'Sorry Rocky.. or Rocket' Foreman barely brushed his arm and then man had jerked so hard the chair had moved some. "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to touch you House, just calm down," Foreman said taking out his pen light to check House's eyes.

House pulled back, "Quit I'm fine," he said swatting at the light.

Foreman stopped and gave him a serious look, "Who's Rocky?"

"What are you talking about?" House asked confused.

"Rocky... Rocket," Foreman noticed the that at the second name House's eyes glued to his.

"Who told you about Rocket? Was it Wilson or Cuddy," House asked seriously.

Foreman looked more worried, "You were saying the name when you blanked out."

House swallowed then looked down at the file laying in front of him, "Here, read this and tell me your top three diagnoses."

A couple of hours later the team was headed off to run some test. When Foreman stopped by the restroom, "You two go ahead I'll meet you down there in a couple of minutes." The rest of the team continued on and Foreman walked in the restroom and waited a minute, then looked out and walked to Wilson's office and knocked.

"Come in," Wilson said looking up and surprised to see Foreman come in and close the door. "Um, what can I do for you?"

Foreman gave a polite smile and sat down, "I was talking to House earlier and he blanked out for a couple of minutes. He was mumbling 'Sorry Rocket.' I was wondering if you would tell me who Rocket was?"

Wilson blinked, "What did you say to him before he had the episode?"

Foreman frowned, "I was talking about his inability to open up and let people in. Now you going to tell me who he is?"

Wilson looked torn but sighed, "Rocket was a dog that House knew when he was a kid. Anything more than that you need to talk to House about, but just a warning you might want to bring some cash with you if you really want to know more, the story cost me two hundred dollars."

"Really?" Foreman asked skeptically.

"Really," Wilson said looking at him seriously.

Foreman swallowed, "Was it worth it?"

Wilson looked down at his desk thinking about how to explain it and then looked back up at Foreman with slightly haunted eyes, "I got a better understanding about him and how he thinks from the story. But, it's not the kind of story you can ever quite forget either... so you might want to consider that."

Foreman got up obviously thinking hard about what Wilson had said, "Is he alright... you know to be back at work?"

Wilson let out a deep breath, "I don't know, but you saw him on the medication. I think it's better than that, and he's talking more to me. I think he'll be fine, but honestly right now I think he's still on edge, not that I can blame him."

Foreman nodded, "Thanks Wilson, let me know if there's anything I or any of us can do to help."

Wilson nodded back, "You're welcome, and to be honest having cases, something to just take his mind off of everything is probably the best thing you can do for him."

"I'll keep that in mind," Foreman said and then left.


	58. Chapter 58: Ayersman's Revenge

House looked at the clock and decided now would be just about right for him to go to the lab, predict the test results and then let them all take some more stabs at the true diagnoses. He rolled to the elevator and pressed the button to go up. When the doors opened he saw Dr. Ayersman on it and rolled in pressing the seventh floor button and then rolled to the back of of the elevator and watched the doors.

"Hello Dr. House," Ayersman said from the right side of him.

House looked over his shoulder at Ayersman surprised the man had said anything. Ayersman hadn't really spoken to him since House had bribed him and then blackmailed him to do Kayla's transplant surgery three years ago. "Ayersman," House said with a nod, "so how's divorce treating you?" he said with a smile.

Ayersman had been wait for opportunity like this for a long time and smiled. "I'm married again," he said and then pressed the emergency stop button on the elevator.

The alarm sounded and House started toward the button but Ayersman was already in front of him standing with a broad smile. "What are you doing?" House asked giving Ayersman a warning look.

"Nothing, I just wanted to take this time to welcome you back," Ayersman said loudly the uncertainty on House's face was thrilling for him. "We all missed you so much House no crazy stunts, no snide jokes, it was almost like we were all adults working in professional environment," Ayersman said still keeping his volume up and now moving his arms around expressively.

House smiled through gritted teeth, "Sounds horrible, can't imagine how you managed. Well I feel welcomed now, maybe we should be on our way," House said feeling the edge of the small room and the man who way practically yelling over the alarm as he watched the mans hands.

Ayersman laughed, "Yeah, you're probably right," he said turning toward the button he could see House relax some and then quickly turned back and grabbed House's arms pinning them to the armrest of his wheelchair.

"LET GO," House growled glaring at the man.

Ayersman sneered, "I prayed for you as soon as I heard you'd been in an accident. I prayed that you would die and that this hospital would be done with you once and for all! But no, you are like a cancer that just keeps coming back!"

House's heart was pounding hard and every inch of his body was wired ready for Ayersman to let his guard down. "Sorry to disappoint you, but it takes more than prayers to take me out and you haven't got the balls!"

Ayersman leaned closer, "Your right I'm not going to shoot you are try beating you to death, but it isn't because I don't have the balls it's because you aren't worth going to prison over. You know what's really bad about PTSD? The adrenaline makes your heart rate go up to dangerous levels, it would be a shame if you were to have a heart attack. I would try my best to save you of course, but I'm just a hack compared to you. I'm not even sure if I know how to do CPR properly." Ayersman smiled, "You're shaking House, are you cold or something?"

House started mumbling frantically, "I... no... I... please... this.. no." Ayersman leaned in to hear and that's when House head butted him as hard as he could. The man pulled back letting go of House's arms and House grabbed his wrist twisting it and jerking him onto the ground. He pushed the button to get the elevator moving again and kept his back to the door facing Ayersman at the back of the elevator. Ayersman grabbed House's left leg and House started kicking the man in the stomach as hard as he could with this right leg. When the elevator dinged and the doors opened House got out and rolled down the hall as fast as possible stopping at the first trash can he saw and vomiting.

Nurse Beth looked over to see House hugging the trash can as he violently threw up. "House, are you..."

House pulled back grabbing a broom and looking at her with wild eyes, "Stay the fuck away from me!"

Nurse Beth looked at him with worry, "Dr. House I'm not going to do anything, but you need to calm down." He was shaking badly and his eyes were jumping around watching everything.

"He attacked Dr. Ayersman," another nurse shouted trying to help Dr. Ayersman out of the elevator, "Don't let him go."

At that time House's team had peeked out of the lab to see the commotion and were walking up. "House what's going on?" Taub asked.

House backed his wheelchair against the wall pointing the end of the broom at him, "Stay away!"

Taub looked up at Nurse Beth. "He attacked Dr. Ayersman," she said watching House, "maybe one of you should call Wilson."

Foreman turned around and made the call. It didn't take but two minutes for Wilson to be up on the floor along with half the hospital. Everyone parted for Wilson who stopped as he saw House holding the broom as a weapon.

"House, let go of the broom no one's going to hurt you," Cuddy said evenly.

House's eyes continued to scan the large circle around him as his grip on the broom stayed strong.

Wilson sighed and took a step toward House but still a good distance away. He turned his back to House and looked at everyone surrounding the man, "Everyone leave, this is none of your concern and there are plenty of patients in this hospital that would better benefit from your attention."

It was a slow process but people started leaving as Wilson glared at them. The only ones left were House's team, Cuddy and Wilson. Wilson finally turned to look at House who dropped the broom and turned his head vomiting and shaking as he held on to the wheelchair. Thirteen started to walk toward House but Wilson shook his head and she stepped back. When House finally stopped he looked up at Wilson.

Wilson swallowed as he took in how bad House looked, "Okay, how about we just go in that empty room and talk. You can also get cleaned up in there."

House looked at the door and then at Wilson and nodded. Wilson opened the door and House rolled in slowly. Cuddy walked over to Wilson, "When he's calmed down I need to see him in my office."

"Yeah," Wilson said looking in at House and then heard her heels walking away. He looked at the team, "I'll let you know how things go." They all nodded and took that as a dismissal. Wilson walked in the empty patients room and closed the blinds. "Are you alright?" House nodded not quite facing Wilson, but Wilson noticed the convulsive swallowing. "Do you remember what happened on the elevator?"

House looked forward at nothing, "Ayersman was trying to use my PTSD to give me a heart attack, it was self defense."

Wilson's face paled as he took in what House had said, "He actually said that."

House nodded swallowing still, "He said the sucky thing about PTSD was that the adrenaline increased the heart rate to dangerous levels and that it would be a shame if I had a heart attack because he didn't even remember how to do CPR," he said flatly.

Wilson felt an anger flare up in him at Ayersman, "I always disliked that bastard. Did he hurt you House?"

House shook his head, "He pinned my arms down to the armrest on the wheelchair, refused to let go, but he didn't hurt me really."

Wilson knew by now that things that House hardly seemed to notice could be quite harmful to anyone else. "Alright, would you take off the long sleeve so I can see if he left bruises." House stared at his knees as he slowly took off the over shirt. Wilson came closer but still gave the man his space. It was easy to see where Ayersman hand held him down, and even thought Wilson wasn't happy to see it, it would help House's case. Then he notice the already purpling bruise on House's bicep. "How did you get that bruise?" he asked with concern.

"Ask Cuddy," House said still looking at his knees, "can I put my shirt back on?"

"Sure, you want to freshen up in the restroom?" Wilson asked.

House nodded and rolled into the bathroom locking the door. House washed his face and rinsed his mouth first, then he went to the restroom and washed his hands. He watched the water running just like his mind. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting like that when the faucet was turned off by Wilson who was looking at him with worry. "What?" House asked.

"You've been in here for over an hour. I've been calling you through the door for the last ten minutes, didn't you hear me." The confusion on House's face was enough of a response, "I had to get one of the nurses to get some keys to let me in with. Look at me House," House complied with the demand, "Are you okay? If you aren't I'll take you home." Wilson said seriously.

House looked shook his head, "I have a patient," he said and rolled out.

Wilson followed him, "Cuddy needs to talk to you about what happened."

House nodded pressing the button for the elevator, but when it opened he just sat there looking in. Wilson walked in and then realized House hadn't moved. Wilson put his arm out to keep the doors from closing, "House?" House looked up at him and rolled in. Wilson noticed his breathing seemed labored and figured it was because of the incident. They were silent the whole ride and when the doors opened House got off of it quickly.

Wilson followed and suddenly House stopped. "I can talk to Cuddy on my own," House said looking at him seeming a little more like his old self.

"Alright, but when you're done let me know and we'll have lunch," Wilson said and gave him a smile.

House just nodded and then continued to Cuddy's office. Nathan smirked at the him, "Do you have an appointment?" he asked standing in the way of Cuddy's door. House looked him with daggers. "I hope you don't get fired, it would be such a travesty to not having you here," Nathan said opening the door. "Dr. House is here," he said to Cuddy.

"Alright, I'm ready to talk to him," Cuddy said and Nathan sat back down at his desk while House rolled in and closed the door behind him.

He looked even worse then he did this morning and she noticed he wasn't looking at her. "What happened?" she asked.

He stared at her desk, "Wouldn't want to waste your time with my side," he said distantly.

Cuddy stood up, "House this isn't the time," she said waiting for a response but didn't get one. "House look at me." His eyes slowly made it to hers. She fidgeted with her hands, "Did he hurt you?" she asked with worry. He shrugged. "Fine you don't want to talk then take off your shirt," Cuddy said. House took it off slowly. She let out a frustrating sigh when she saw the marks on his forearms where he'd been held down. "Did he touch you anywhere else?" she asked noticing his eyes were back on the desk.

"Leg," he said.

"Let me see," Cuddy said watching as he raised the pant leg of his left leg and up on the calf there was another red mark that was slowly bruising. "Alright," she said and watched as he pulled the pant leg back down and quickly grabbed the shirt. "Wait, what about higher up on the arm, did he do that too?"

House pulled on his over shirt just looking at her with accusing eyes.

She swallowed, "Nathan?"

"Doesn't matter, as long as he doesn't go to human resources right?" He asked flatly.

"Of course it matters if someone hurts you House, I just don't understand why you didn't tell me he grabbed you that hard to begin with," Cuddy said softly.

"Didn't really hurt," He said looking at her.

"House that's a pretty bad bruise, it had to have hurt when he did it," she said looking at him.

House rolled his eyes, "ETP remember? It really didn't hurt much."

Cuddy frowned, "What happened in the elevator House?"

He sighed, "I asked how divorce was treating him and he informed me he'd gotten married again. Then he stopped the elevator, said something about wanting to welcome me back. I told him I felt welcomed and that we should get going. He pretended to be getting the elevator going again and I relaxed some, that's when he pinned my arms down. He said he prayed I'd die when he heard I was involved in an accident, to which I told him I was sorry I'd disappointed him but that it took more than prayer to kill me and he didn't have the balls. That's when he said that PTSD was dangerous because the adrenaline gets the heart pumping too fast and that it would be a shame if I had a heart attack because he didn't know CPR." House paused licking his lips, "I started mumbling softly to get him closer, head butted him then twisted his wrist and pulled him down to the floor. I hit the button to get the elevator going again and he grabbed my leg and I started kicking. When the door opened I got out, that's what happened," he had said it all calmly without expression.

Cuddy shook her head, "I'm sorry the elevators have camera's but no sound. He's saying he just was welcoming you back and that when he leaned in to hear you, that you head butted him and started attacking him for no reason." House looked at her with interest wondering what she was going to decide to do. "House this has to go away. If he goes to human resource it's okay, but if he tries to sue, then the board is going to come down hard on Wilson and me for letting you come back to work early and they will make you take the rest of your time before returning to work. He's promised not to sue if you apologize to him."

House looked at her with disbelief, "He threatened my life, and you want me to apologize to him?"

Cuddy felt guilty about the whole thing, "I don't want you to, I need you to. You hurt his shoulder and crack one of his ribs when you were kicking him, he's going to play to the sympathy of the board if he sues and the only allies you have on the board is Wilson, Cameron, and me. He'll wipe the floor with you."

"Fine," House said through gritted teeth.

Cuddy walked around the desk standing in front of him, "I also am sending out a memo to all the departments that you have PTSD that way no one can pretend they don't know. That's what Ayersman did. He said he couldn't understand why you just went off and when I told him about the PTSD he pretended to be surprised. He said he could understand how you might have gotten frightened in the situation and would accept an apology. I should have done this to begin with and then he wouldn't have deny-ability."

"Great, can I go now?" House said angrily.

Cuddy looked down unable to look him in the eyes, "Actually, it would probably be best if you went ahead and stopped by his room. The sooner you've apologized the sooner it's done."

House pulled out his bottle of oxycodone and took one, "Of course wouldn't want to make him wait for his justified apology. What's the room number?"

"I'll take you to him," she said watching him.

"Don't trust me to apologize?" he asked with a guarded expression.

Cuddy sighed, "It's not you that I don't trust."

House's whole body seemed to slump some, "You don't think I can take care of myself?"

"You've already been hurt twice today in my hospital. I'm not going to let it happen again." She said abruptly.

House rolled his eyes, "They're just bruises, I'm fine. I don't need my mommy coming to take care of my battles for me."

Cuddy took a step closer to him, "House there are a lot of ways I've thought of you, but I promise you parental isn't one of them, it's always been... more territorial than that and I know you can take care of yourself."

House's eyes searched her and then he saw her hands moving toward his head, "No..." he said softly but her hands ran through his hair anyway. He closed his eyes as the touch was comforting and then he felt her kiss the knot on his head and she stopped.

"We should go," she said softly.

"Yeah," he replied and then followed her.

She held the door to the room and House rolled in looking at Ayersman sitting in the bed. Cuddy walked in behind him giving a fake smile to Ayersman. "I'm sorry," 'that you are an asshole,' House finished in his head. "I've been suffering from PTSD and reacted with poor judgment because it, but of course that doesn't justify what I did. Violence is never the right answer," 'revenge is and some day you will get yours,' he finished in his head. "I hope that you can accept my deep felt sorrow for what I've done," 'next time I'm going to kick you in the nuts you fucking hack,' he finished in his head again and gave a genuine smile.

Ayersman gave a smug smile, "I wasn't aware you were dealing with PTSD. I'm surprised your doctor would release you to come back to work while you were still dealing with such a difficult issue. I never meant to scare you Dr. House. What exactly happened to you that would leave you in such a fragile state?"

House's smile turned more into a grimace, "I'm not comfortable discussing it. It's personal which I'm sure you understand."

Ayersman looked to be thinking about it, "I understand that it must be hard to talk about but talking about it can help with the PTSD and I really would feel that your apology was more heart felt if you shared what happened to you that would make you react the way you did."

"Dr. Ayersman, I have to disagree with you, trying to force Dr. House to tell you about something that was obviously traumatic won't help him, or you." Cuddy said with aggravation.

House narrowed his eyes on Ayersman and his face became the cold expressionless one that was more common with the hospital staff. "It's fine Dr. Cuddy it's going to get out anyways, but let's get rid of the cover that this has anything to do you trying to help me. Four men broke into my apartment, drugged me and then tortured me for the better part of five hours. I convinced them to let untie me and let me die fighting, which they did. I killed three of them and the other one is in jail."

Ayersman started laughing figuring it was a joke and then looked up to Cuddy who looked at him with warning eyes. "This is a joke right?"

"No joke, and Dr. House didn't owe you that," Cuddy said curtly.

Ayersman looked at House with worry and slight guilt, "I honestly didn't know it was something like that. I thought it was a car accident or something, I'm sorry."

"No you're not and I didn't tell you so you would be sorry. I told you so you can do what you do best and spread the word to the other staff not to mess with me right now because I am a little jumpy. I wouldn't want anyone to get seriously hurt over a joke. I already have more blood then I want on my hands." House said staring at him cold eyes.

Ayersman swallowed, "Um.. yeah, I'll let people know not to mess with you."

"Good," House said and rolled out of the room.

Cuddy followed him to the elevator. "I didn't know he was going to ask about what happened, and you didn't have to tell him," she said getting on the elevator with him.

House shrugged, "It's for the best, now people will leave me a lone and as soon as it starts to go to trial it was bound to hit the papers."

Cuddy sighed, "Yeah, I imagine it would," she said as she watched him get off at his floor.

House rolled by Wilson's office and opened the door, "Lunch in five minutes my office," he said and closed it. Then rolled down to the DDX room and went in. "Let me guess, you have nothing," he said confidently. The team looked and him and seemed to all decide to do as he was and pretend nothing had happened earlier. Than ran a quick DDX and were gone again to run more tests.

Wilson was waiting in his office when House was done. "So, what happened?"

"My team is a bunch of morons who can't figure out that the reason that none of their diagnoses is fitting is because they haven't asked the patient the right questions," House said as he rolled over to his desk to find his leftovers heated up with a bottle of coke beside it.

Wilson looked disappointed, "Not about the case, about Ayersman."

House pulled out his medicine taking the handful all at once and then chasing it with a sip of coke. "Cuddy made me apologize," he said absently.

"What!" Wilson said outraged, "after what he did she made you apologize to him! Why?"

House looked up at Wilson trying not to smile, "He threatened to sue which meant the board would be pissed at you two for letting me come back early and that they would probably force me to take the rest of my time off for healing up." Wilson still looked just as mad which made House feel good to have someone on his side. "Don't worry though, he got nosy and I don't think he or anyone else will be bothering me."

"What do you mean?" Wilson asked taking a sip of his drink.

"He wanted to know what happened to me and I told him in a condensed version. Ayersman was scared shitless, he wont be bothering me anymore. I told he to let everyone know that I'm jumpy from the PTSD and not to mess with me because I didn't want anyone getting hurt over a joke." House said and started eating his food.

Wilson looked at him surprised, "What all did you tell him?"

"I told him about the break in and that I was tortured, then that I got them to untie me and that I killed three of them and the other one is in jail," House said casually as if talking about having coffee and reading a newspaper.

"I thought you didn't want anyone to know?" Wilson said looking at him curiously.

House sighed, "People were going to find out sooner or later, especially when it goes to trial."

Wilson nodded, "I guess it's better that it come from you than to someone else."

House just nodded as he stuffed a large bite in his mouth that took him two minutes to chew. "Oh, you never actually said how your date went last night."

Wilson smiled, "It was good, she's a great listener."

House rolled his eyes, "God you sound more like a chick everyday. You're not suppose to know if she's a good listener. You're suppose to know if she's naughty, and exactly how dirty she likes it."

Wilson shook his head, "I'm trying to build a relationship not a booty call."

House scoffed, "And what was so important you would rather be talking then actually getting some."

"We talked about you," Wilson said watching House as he took a bite of his sandwich.

House smiled and then stopped, "You're serious aren't you?"

"Yeah," Wilson said.

House shifted uncomfortably, "What all did you tell her?"

"Nothing much, just how I feel about what's been going on with you, nothing you told me not to tell," Wilson said looking up at House. "It helps talking to someone else about it. Helps me not to worry as much and to be more patient."

House took a couple of bites of food and they were silent for a little bit. "She must already think I'm a nut job," House said finally looking at Wilson.

Wilson smiled, "No actually she takes your side more often then mine. She might be the first girlfriend I've had that actually likes you."

"Amber liked me," House said with a smile and then quickly looked back down.

Wilson watched him, "She did like you House, it's okay to mention her name."

House just nodded but the rest of the meal was silent.

It was almost four when Wilson checked his email to find the bill for House's medical documents and called the number again.

"Headquarters for the United States Military Human Resources Department, this is Jason speaking how may I assist you?" The man on the phone said.

"Jason, I just got a bill sent to my email and I think there has been a mistake. I was needing to get some medical documents sent and this number can't be right," Wilson said still staring at the screen.

"One moment sir, and who is it I'm speaking with?" Jason asked.

"My name is Dr. James Wilson, I called to get the medical files on Gregory House," Wilson said as he got up and locked his office door.

"Okay, let me pull it up. Yes sir I have it right here, you can get it shipped with standard shipping for $278.56, priority shipping is $329.88 and over night is $396.19." Jason said quoting the numbers on Wilson's screen.

"It's just some papers, how could shipping be that high?" Wilson asked.

Jason looked up the information, "Whoa, this guy has a ton of medical files that's why. They will have to send you three file boxes and two large envelopes to get it all to you. Are you sure you need all of them?" Jason asked.

Wilson blinked, "Three file boxes?"

"Yes sir," Jason said.

"Um.. yeah, I need all of them, I'll get it priority," Wilson said quietly.

"And how would you like to take care of that?" Jason asked.

"You take Visa?" Wilson asked.

"Yes sir," Jason responded again.

Wilson gave him the information and was told he would be emailed the shipping information so he could track the package. Wilson didn't know if he should be happy or dreadful about the amount of medical files House had, the only think he knew for certain was that House hadn't been telling him even a fraction of what all had happened to him.


	59. Chapter 59: I don't want to be Miserable

"What were you thinking?" asked a man in a nice suit.

"What are you talking about Dr. Miller?" Cuddy asked with a serious expression.

"House, you signed off on him coming back to work. Why?" Miller asked.

Cuddy looked up at him, "The Diagnostics Department needed him back, and he was ready to come back that's why."

Miller shook his head, "You think he was ready to come back after being beaten and killing three men? Did you even make him do a psych evaluation?"

"No and I'm not going to. What happened is none of the hospitals concern, it's a private matter and I'm going to treat it as such." Cuddy said with a smile.

Miller paced in front of her desk, "Lisa if you knew what had happened then why didn't you explain it to the board."

"Because it wasn't my story to tell, I told you about the major injuries and the PTSD," Cuddy said standing.

"He hospitalized a man today, House needs to take more time before coming back to work," Miller said.

Cuddy walked in front of him, "Ayersman threatened Dr. House's life, so I say the bastard deserves what he got."

"But he said..." Miller started.

"I saw the bruises on House's arms. Miller was holding him down so tight he left bruises... does that sound like welcoming someone back to you Dr. Miller? Everyone heard about the incident in the cafeteria with House and me. Ayersman knew that House was suffering from PTSD and was trying to get him to have a heart attack." Cuddy explained.

Miller thought for a minute, "Lisa, he's not ready to be back."

"I promise you he's ready," Cuddy said confidently.

Miller looked worried, "I hope so, because if something goes wrong the board isn't going to blame him, they'll blame you. So if I were you I'd try my hardest to make sure House stays on a straight and narrow path. He comes in on time leaves when he's supposed to and stays away from the patients and the staff, other than his team, because they will hold you accountable." He sighed and left her office.

Cuddy deflated some and leaned against her desk. House hadn't done anything wrong. He was coming in early doing his time and leaving when he was suppose to. Miller said to keep him on the straight and narrow, but what he didn't understand was that House had been on the straight and narrow when Ayersman had pulled his stunt. She was pulled out of her thoughts by a knocking on her door. It was past five so that meant Nathan was gone. "Come in," she said standing up straight.

"Hi Lisa," Nurse Beth said looking a little nervous, "I was wondering how Dr. House was doing?"

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "I don't remember the last time you called him Dr. House."

Beth gave a half smile then swallowed, "Lisa before he got hurt he... he was as happy as he gets. It was like he was before the leg. He was laughing and making fun of our idiot patients in his head rather than out loud and I actually saw him smile some. And then I saw him when he rolled out of that elevator... I've never... ever seen fear in Dr. House's eyes not until today. He was really scared of me..." Beth said.

Cuddy waited for her to finish but Beth just seemed to have gotten lost in her thoughts. She walked up to Beth, "Are you okay Beth?" she asked.

"What the hell did those men do to him? The men that broke into his home... what in gods name did they do to him?" Beth asked with tears in her eyes.

Cuddy was stunned by the questions and emotions coming from her long time friend. Beth wasn't soft and she hadn't ever pretended to be one of House's fans. Cuddy's chin shook as she saw the picture in her head of when she had first stepped in his hospital room. "They... umm.. he was... he barely made it. I can't tell you anymore than that."

"Of course, I shouldn't have asked. I know how private of a person he is," Beth said wiping her eyes.

Cuddy shook her head some, "Even if he was okay with me telling, I don't think I could. The things those men did to him... it makes me feel sick just thinking about it."

Beth looked at Cuddy with sorrow, "He was finally happy again after so many years and then this happens? You know I almost forgot that he use to be my favorite doctor to work with before the leg. He was the most efficient and accurate doctor who worked in the clinic, he'd make a joke every now and again and he always was making bets on what the patients had before talking to them or how many patients he could get through in a hour." She laughed, "One time he was so eager to win his bet he didn't even use the rooms. He just walked by people telling them to name of their symptoms and diagnosing them, but he never really got complaints because he just kept his comments to himself and even if he did accidentally let one out all he had to do was smile. His eyes use to light up like a childs when he smiled... remember that?"

Cuddy took in a shallow breath as she felt a tear run down, "Umm... yeah... yeah, I remember that." Then she smiled, "Remember how he use to be humming or whistling or singing everywhere he went? I mean I don't know how many time I told that man to shut up."

Beth laughed, "Oh God, I'd completely forgotten that, it was as if he was incapable of being quiet." They both were silent as they remembered how things use to be. "Lisa, I'm worried about him. What I saw today... that wasn't House on any level I've seen before."

Cuddy swallowed, "I know but he's getting better. He'll get through this."

Beth nodded, "I hope so. I should get going I just wanted to make sure he was okay."

Cuddy smiled, "He's okay. Wilson's been taking good care of him."

Beth sighed, "Well that's good. I'll talk to you later, thanks for letting me get all of that out."

"Anytime," Cuddy said and watched as Beth left. She'd never would have guessed that Beth would be that upset about seeing House afraid. Maybe he had more friends that he knew about. She quickly grabbed her stuff hoping to get out before she was stopped by someone else wanting to talk about House.

"So, how are you feeling about this?" Wilson asked.

House shrugged, "The fries are too salty and now that I have my burger I wish I had added bacon, but live and learn right?"

"Not the food, I'm talking about the appointment with Dr. Ryan," Wilson said now looking over to House who was sitting in the passengers seat of his car as they ate their burgers.

House looked at him with annoyance, "I'm fine," he said.

Wilson nodded and took another bite of his burger after a minute tried again this time not looking at House, "You decided what you're going to talk about yet?"

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson and then took one of his fries. He had been trying to avoid thinking about the appointment but now that it was fast approaching maybe he ought to think about it. "What do you think I should talk about?" he asked eating another fry.

"It's not up to me," Wilson stated.

House sighed loudly, "I know it isn't up to you, I was just wondering what you think."

Wilson pretended to think about it even thought he already had an answer, "I think you should talk about your dad. We both have different thoughts about the relationship and I think Dr. Ryan is more qualified than either of us to make a judgment call."

House looked over at Wilson, "You are so predictable. You really think that is more important than talking about the likelihood of me having HIV or how I feel about being attacked in my own home by soldiers?"

"I told you, talk about whatever you want to talk about. This is the reason I don't like give you my opinions, all you do is insult me with them," Wilson said taking a bite of his burger.

House coughed some and took a sip of his soda, "Maybe I should talk to her about my odd friendship with a man who acts like a chick. Who knows maybe I'm gay and that's why this works or I miss my mother and you remind me of her, with all the nagging and such."

"Or you could just be yourself and count the times she calls you an ass before the appointment ends," Wilson said condescendingly.

House smiled, "See this is why you should have done the deed instead of talking on your last date. Anytime you go more than a week without sex you turn mean."

"Yes that must be it, because it couldn't be that I have a friend who's actually an ass," Wilson said looking at House.

"Who me? No, couldn't be," House said trying to look innocent.

"Speaking of date's what did Cuddy and you do while I was gone?" Wilson asked with a grin.

House looked out the window, "She cut my hair and trimmed up my beard, had dinner, and then watched that DVD Stacy made for me."

"How was the DVD?" Wilson asked.

"Good for the most part," House said then looked at Wilson. "Why didn't you tell me that Stacy had a kid?"

Wilson sighed Cuddy must have told him, "Because Stacy asked me not to and I didn't want to upset you."

"She asked you not to tell me, why?" House asked with interest.

There were a lot of reasons why some of them Stacy had said directly and there were some that Wilson had assumed, those were the ones House really didn't need to know. "Well she seems to think you want kids and that you wanted them so bad that when you two were dating you sabotaged the condoms. She say's you two always used a condom and yet she had to get three abortions." Wilson said looking at House.

House narrowed his eyes, "Why would she care if I had wanted kids or not, and exactly how would she know if I was the one that got her pregnant all those times? She screwed over ten guys when we were together. Also just for the record I never made her get an abortion, she didn't even tell me she got pregnant, so that's on her."

Wilson looked out the windshield, "House she left because she was tired of seeing you hurt, mainly by her, just because she didn't love you doesn't mean she wants to hurt you. You're right, it could have been someone else but it's more likely it was you and it makes sense. You knew she was cheating and you wanted her to marry you, a baby would help your chances, and if you wanted one anyways then you get a three for one." He was hoping to steer House more towards his issues with Stacy and away from Stacy's son.

"What would I want with a baby?" House said eating some fries.

The fact that House wasn't looking him in the eyes was a dead give away. Wilson shrugged, "I don't know, before the leg surgery when you were actually happy, what would you have wanted a baby for?" he said looking at House seriously.

House met his eyes, "It doesn't really matter now either way. Was the baby healthy and all?"

"Yeah, hey it's about that time, we should go," Wilson said throwing the trash in the bag the food had come out of. He was grateful that House didn't push anymore about it and that their trip was silent.

"Dr. House, it's good to see you again. How has the new medication been working for you?" Dr. Ryan said with a smile as she held the door open for him. She had been shocked when her secretary had informed her that Dr. House was sitting in the waiting room for his two o'clock appointment.

He rolled in, "I stopped taking it but don't worry I was on it for a full two weeks this time, although I only remember fragments from the time," House said giving her a fake smile.

She closed the door and grabbed up her notebook looked at her notes and made some new ones, "So that makes a week without any psychological drugs. How would you say things are in terms of manageability over your PTSD?"

"It's getting better, Wilson and I had a talk about him giving me space and being at work helps to keep my mind off of it some," he now holding his kneecaps.

Dr. Ryan sat down across from him, "I was under the impression that it would be at least another month before you would be released to go back to work."

"Yeah well, I asked to comeback sooner and my boss let me have a chance." House said very matter of fact.

"You're boss, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, I assume. You're ex-girlfriend. So how long have you been back at work?" She asked trying not to sound judgmental.

"I don't see what her being my ex-girlfriend has to do with anything. I've been back since Monday," he said watching her.

Dr. Ryan gave him a knowing look, "I'm just wondering if her decision to let you come back early was purely professional. Anyway, you've been back since Monday, have there been any incidents or uncomfortable situations?" she asked watching him

"A couple, my first day back Cuddy disagreed with my diagnostic method for a patient. She found me in the cafeteria eating with Wilson and proceeded to yell and wave the file at me, which in-turn made me scream like a girl and roll out as quickly as possible. Also yesterday another doctor who wasn't fond of me before was on the elevator with me, he yelled and pinned my arms down on my wheelchair. He said he was trying to give me a heart attack, so I head butted him and got him to the ground kicked the crap out of him." House said then gave her a questioning look, "Would those be classified as incidents?"

She nodded as she made notes then looked up at him as she put down the pen, "I'm guessing you're not here for another prescription." Dr. Ryan paused a moment to give House a chance to stop her if that in fact was why he came, but his silence told her that she was right. "I'm glad you are here, it a wonderful surprise but I there are somethings I need to make clear. If you are doing this for someone else this isn't going to work and I'd rather set you up with a doctor who doesn't mind taking your money to just sit there so that you can say you are going to therapy. Also, this is going to take a lot longer if you lie, manipulate your words or take any other measures to deceive me. Wearing a poker face or deflecting might make you feel better at the moment but it will only prolong the process. I'm sure you are familiar with my the confidentiality that psychologist are bound by so I'm not going to go over it unless you have questions." House nodded and she sighed, "So Dr. House why are you here?"

House looked at his hands some it was a question he knew the answer too but was still hard to admit especially to a stranger, "I don't want to be miserable," he said looking up at her with sad honest eyes.

As she looked at his eyes they seemed to draw her in. So blue, so full of hurt and fear but at the same time determination. "So, you want to be happy?" She asked looking at him.

House let out a small laugh, "I believe that's a bit beyond my reach, I just don't want to hate my life."

Dr. Ryan was surprised by his honesty and wrote down a note, "What makes you think happiness is too high of a goal?"

"Because unless you have some magical powers and can give me back the 5lbs of muscle I lost in my right thigh or guarantee me that I'm not HIV positive then I won't be happy." He said watching her.

Dr. Ryan didn't think that happiness was too high of a goal but she wasn't going to push it. Until he saw real progress she knew he wouldn't reassess his goal. "What made you decide to come here?"

House was silent for a couple of minutes and finally met her eyes, "Wilson and me were talking and I didn't deny his suspicions that I'd attempted suicide in the past. He said he thought I was depressed and didn't think he could manage loosing me, and asked me to come here and try to get better."

This wasn't the kind of thing people just came out and said even in therapy, which meant he was really trying. Dr. Ryan took a calming breath, "I have to ask, are you here for you or him?"

House took some deep breaths, "I..." he started but then swallowed looking her in they eyes, "Christmas 2006 Wilson had to use a key to my apartment to get in and see about me. He found me on the floor next to vomit that consisted of half a bottle of Oxycodone and a bottle of good scotch. I don't want that to happen again."

Dr. Ryan gave him a sad smile, "I don't think anyone wants that to happen again."

"You'd be surprised, I have a knack for pissing people off," House said with a smile.

"How many times have you tried to kill yourself?" Dr. Ryan asked. It was a bold question to ask but it was an important one.

"Four times," He said now looking at his hands again.

She wrote that down quickly and looked up at him. His body showed the shame he felt about the attempts. She hadn't expected him to just open the doors to his soul and start talking but that's what he was doing. So far he hadn't made any attempts to close them. "Why did you first attempt it?"

House looked back up at her, "There were a couple of reasons one of the main ones was that my father had enlisted me in a eight year contract with the Marines, and I was 16 and scared."

"I don't understand, you said he enlisted at 16?" Dr. Ryan said looking at him with a tilted head.

"Back when I was sixteen it was legal for your parents to enlist you at the age of sixteen as long as the said child had completed their general education. I graduated high school at thirteen and then graduated with a Bachelors for West Point a week before my sixteenth birthday. So my dad enlisted me." House said with ease.

"You didn't want to be enlisted I take it," She asked.

"No, I was going to college to become a doctor," He said without hesitation.

"Then why did he enlist you?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"Well it would have been a waste of all that time training me if he didn't," House said as if it was obvious.

Dr. Ryan looked worried, "What do you mean training?"


	60. Chapter 60: PsychoTherapy

_Alright people I finally got done with this chapter and I hope you like it. It took me such a long time because I've been sick, but I'm feeling all better now and can't wait to get writing again. I also finally got a grammer program that I'm using and hope there will be less errors because of it, and as alway I love to hear what you think so please review. Nicole_

The kind of training he had gone though wasn't easy to explain. There had been numerous things that his father had made him do for training. How could she understand something like that? House was trying to come up with a way to explain it.

"Dr. House?" Dr. Ryan said watching him.

"You can call me House or Greg if you want," he said still thinking.

She gave him a smile, "Greg, this isn't a test, to be honest it's best if you don't edit or try to perfect your answers." She still could see his wheels turning. "Lets start with something easier, when did your father start training you?"

House thought about the question for a bit, "I don't ever remember a time that I wasn't training to be a Marine."

Dr. Ryan looked at him, skeptical about the answer, "How far back do you remember?"

"I don't remember much before the age of two, but two and beyond I'm good. My father was a Marine who came from a line of military men. It was never a question to my father if I'd be in the military, just when," he explained.

She wrote something on the pad, "Start from the beginning, what are some of the first things you did in this training and then you can tell me how it progressed," she said simply.

House nodded taking in a breath, "I did the exercises that the Marines do twice a day by the age of four I started working on combat and survival techniques, and he always used my punishments as a opportunity to train me up on more specialized skills."

Dr. Ryan was very curious about what 'more specialized skills' meant but knew taking her time to get there would be best, especially since he already seemed to be having a harder time talking about this. "Since it seems as if the exercises didn't vary much, tell me about the combat and survival techniques you learned. If you could try to name them in order that would be great. I'll stop you if I have any questions," She said with her pen in hand and the notebook.

House looked at her for the first time with hesitance but gave a nod. "He taught me how to fall with out hurting myself, climb trees silently and quickly and how to get out of them quickly without noise. How to use a gun and how to fight in hand to hand combat. He taught me how to survive in extreme weather and how to live off the land like hunting, fishing, which plants you could eat, and how to make water last. He showed me how to make weapons and fight with them. He taught me how to be silent and showed me how to do some of the basic medical techniques. He taught me how to make traps."

She was scribbling everything down and finally looked up. "You seemed to be on a roll so I didn't want to interrupt but I do have some questions." House nodded and she continued, "How did he teach you fall?"

"Well he first taught me how to land properly when I jumped and then he taught me how to roll and land the same way by pushing me off of stuff." House said while think how the hell else would he teach me.

"Stuff is vague, could you give me some examples?" She asked.

"It progressed, stack of bricks, pickup bed, the house top, trees limbs, stairs and the highest was a two story building." He said calmly.

Dr. Ryan looked down at her notes so that he wouldn't see the shock on her face. "Were you ever injured from these falls?"

"Nothing major, I broke a couple of toes and cracked some ribs. The worst injury I got from falling was the first time he pushed me down the stairs, I fractured my kneecap and broke a bone in my wrist, but the next time I learned." House said watching her write that down and then look back up at him.

She gave him a small smile, "And how old were you when you were pushed down the stairs?"

"Five," he answered without having to think about it.

Dr. Ryan swallowed, "I'm assuming you went to see a doctor, was going to the doctor common?"

House looked at her with suspicious eyes, "Yes my father took me to the doctor when I got hurt and going to doctors became common, but you have to break some eggs to make an omelet, right?"

"I guess, you said something about training to survive in extreme weather conditions, how did that go?" Dr. Ryan asked.

House tilted his head, "He taught me techniques on how to keep my body temperature up in the cold and in the heat how to keep from being burned to death. He just talked to me and demonstrated those methods to begin with but then he started implementing more practical tests that he used in terms of punishments for me."

She was pretty sure that this conversation was about to go down an even darker path, one that he would be good for him to talk about. He needed to come to grips with what had happened to him and even more essential he needed to feel as if he could actually trust someone enough to talk about it. She knew that at least half of their time was up, but really thought it was important to continue. "Greg, I don't have anymore appointments today and I think it's important to continue this session. If it's okay with Dr. Wilson would you mind doing a double session with me?"

"We both have jobs to get back too," he said.

Dr. Ryan nodded, "I understand, believe me, but I really do think this is important. Do you have something that you have to get back to in a hurry?"

"No," House said thinking about it.

"I'll check with Dr. Wilson. I'll be right back," She said as she got up and left.

Wilson was surprised to see Dr. Ryan leaving the office in the middle of House's session. He watched as she walked even more surprisingly in his direction.

"Dr. Wilson, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Dr. Ryan and I was wondering if you might be able to do me a favor?" She said giving him a warm smile and sitting next to him.

Wilson smiled back, "I'll try," he answered still wondering why she left the session with House.

She watched his eyes go to her office door with wonder. "He's really trying." Wilson's eyes met hers. "He's being open this time and talking about things I don't think he's ever really talked about. I don't have any other appointments today and if it wouldn't be a to much trouble I was hoping to keep him for a double session."

"What's he talking about?" Wilson asked.

"You know I can't tell you that," She said with a smile.

"Is it his father?" Wilson asked. Dr. Ryan's face looked slightly more worried as she blankly blinked at him probably trying to decided how to answer, but Wilson knew by her response what the real answer was. "Make it a triple for all I'm concerned. He needs to talk about this and to be honest I'd be surprised if you could get him to talk about it again. Please keep him as long as you need I'll be here waiting for him."

She smiled, "He was right about you. He once described you as kind hearted, and the best kind of person. Thank you Dr. Wilson and if you are thirsty just let my secretary know and she will get you something to drink."

Wilson blushed slightly, House wasn't a guy that gave complements often, but it was nice to know that's how he described him to others. Wilson watched Dr. Ryan leave and hoped that the session would continue to be good as it had been so far.

House was coughing when Dr. Ryan walked back in. She handed him tissue and sat down. He finished coughing and looked at her with some anxiety.

"Dr. Wilson didn't have a problem with extending your session, he actually seemed hopeful about it," she said noticing the look of disappointment on his face. "Greg this is your decision, if you want to go you can."

"And if I do what happens? You set me up with another doctor because obviously I'm not that serious about this if I don't stay right? Or maybe you'll just call my work and let them know that you don't think I should be working until I've had a psych evaluation because the stress of work could potentially make me harmful to other or myself right?" House said watching her with guarded eyes.

It had only taken two minutes away and surprising him with one idea to make him become suspicious. "Greg, listen to me. I'm not going to do any of that. What concerns me is why you think I would?" She had spoken soft and slow hoping to calm him down and get him to thinking.

"Why wouldn't you? You could probably get me to cave and stay if you did." House said accusingly.

Dr. Ryan looked disappointed, "Greg, this isn't about me, it about you. The most important thing to hold onto for this to work is honesty and to work on trust. I have asked you not to lie. Now if I were to try and force you to stay and talk, would you be able to trust me? I know I wouldn't trust someone if they did that to me, and if you don't trust me then it's hard for you to be honest with me. You can stay or go, that's your choice."

House ran his hands on the wheels of his chair thinking about it. "That sounds good and all, but it's just words."

She gave him a reassuring smile, "You're right, just like I have to trust what you are telling me is true. For all I know your real father is some priest and all of this is just some elaborate story you came up with and wanted to see how I'd react. I have to take what you say as the truth though for any of this to work and hope that you will be honest and believe me."

House looked at her with worry and then looked down, "My real father was a mentally ill kid."

"What?" Dr. Ryan said as soon as she realized by his features that he wasn't joking.

House looked up at her and swallowed, "I wasn't lying to you. The man who I was raised to believe was my father did train me but my biological father was actually the mentally ill son of one of my fathers friends." He licked his lips as tried to come to grips with the recent news, "He raped my mother."

This was one of those things that there really was no normal response for. "It's not your fault how you were conceived. You may have been the product of what happened but you weren't the cause Greg. How did you find out?" She asked.

"I had suspected that the man that raised me wasn't my biological father since I was twelve but when I brought it up it was denied. I found out the truth a couple of days after I left the hospital to stay with Wilson. My mother and me had plans I forgot about and she hunted me down. It's was the first time we had spoken since the funeral, at the funeral I cut off a small piece of flesh without anyone knowing... except Wilson of course, and ran a DNA test. So when she visited I told her I knew he wasn't my father and she finally told me the real story." House said looking if possible more tired.

Dr. Ryan could tell the news had upset him as it would anyone. "How did hearing it make you feel?"

House sighed, "I'm no good at this."

"Were you a good shot the first time you fired a gun?" She asked watching him as his eyes met hers, "It take practice and time, just try and remember how you felt and feel now about what you found out."

House thought about it, "I felt sick to my stomach still do when I think about it and angry. Angry at them for not telling me and angry at the man who hurt my mother and even more angry that he died and I can't do anything to change what happened." He looked up at her, "She said that I'm the reason that she could forgive, because she loved me so much, but how could she stand to look at me and remember what happened every day? How could my dad let her keep me, a daily reminder that his wife had been raped? I don't understand that."

Dr. Ryan shook her head, "I can't tell you why they did what they did Greg. I don't know their reasons, but it's possible there is more behind it than that. It's possible your mother and father hadn't been able to get pregnant on their own and once she found out the she was pregnant with you she felt like it was the blessing in a tragedy. Do you have sibling?"

"No," he answered thinking more about it.

"If you want to know more about it you need to call your mother and ask her about it," Dr. Ryan said with confidence. "I would like to get back on track to the conversation we were having before you decided on doing a double session. I want you to take your time and really explain to me how you were punished and how your punishment helped you to be a better Marine."

"I don't see what this has to do with me being miserable or how it's suppose to make me less miserable." House stated watching her.

She nodded, it was a very common question. "We are progressing organisms. Everything that happens to us we learn from and effects all the other decisions we make from that point on. Our childhoods and how we perceive them tends to have a huge effect on how we manage relationships and feel about ourselves as adults. I get the feeling you haven't talked a lot about your childhood, so it also gives us a chance to build trust between us, but if this isn't something you think you are ready to discuss we can talk about something else."

"And if I don't you will think I'm weak or not serious about getting better right?" House said looking at the floor.

"Look at me Greg," he did and she continued, "I've never thought or said you were weak. Everything I ask isn't meant to be some huge test or challenge, but with someone in your life it was and now you think it's the same with everyone else. You have this misconception that people see you as weak when they don't, because someone at sometime in your life engrained it into your head that was what you were." She watched as he looked uneasy, "I'm sorry, I'm not a hundred percent sure about what I just said but... I've done this enough that I would bet on it. I typically don't tell patients, especially this early on, what I see to be issues but you aren't a typically patient and trust is extremely hard for you from what I can see, so I don't want to keep things from you."

"So in your mind parents are the causes for everyone's problems, where's does the accountability of a person over their decisions come in?" House said stiffing some.

Dr. Ryan sat straight, "I don't always think it's the parents, many times it's how a child perceived what was happening more than what actually happened. As far as accountability, people are held accountable every day by everyone they come in contact with, and people who don't hold themselves accountable and want to get better don't come to therapy. I'm not some judge who can tell you that what you've done is okay or that you should be punished for your sins. All I can do is to try and help you to live with what was done to you, the decisions you made based on those things and try to help you make decisions that are easier for you to live with in the future."

House looked to be deep in thought about what she had said and after a couple of minutes relented with a heavy sigh. "The first punishments I remember was standing at attention for hours at a time, I was two, the purpose was of course to teach me patience and vigilance. If I staggered I would have to start the time over again."

"What was the longest you were made to stand at attention?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"Six hours, but that was my fault. He had asked me to do it for four hours and a then after the second hour I rubbed my eye because it itched so I had to start over again. Then when I turned three my father took control over my diet. He told me what and when I could eat and drink which became a constant form of punishment that was used along with others to straighten me out." House said looking around the room.

She couldn't help but let her eyes wander over his very lean frame and wonder how much of his eating habits might be caused because of his constant punishment with food. "Could you give me an example of what you would eat on a normal day and on a punishment day?"

House nodded, "Um, yeah. On a normal day I was allows a piece of toast at breakfast along with a glass of milk until I was seven, then it was two cups of water, for lunch I had was given a vegetable soup with a piece of cheese and one piece of fruit along with three cups of water, and for dinner I ate two veggies, one grain and some meat with two cups of water. When I was punished the water stayed the same for all meals, I was still allowed the toast at breakfast, lunch I was allowed the piece of fruit, and for dinner I was allowed one vegetable and some bread."

"So you were never forced to go without food?" Dr. Ryan asked with hope.

House's eyes shifted to the floor, "Not when I was home, but when my punishments took me away from the house then I wasn't given meals."

She didn't like the sound of that but she had asked him to try and go in order so she knew he would be enlightening her shortly on what kind of punishments took him away from home. "Were you allowed to get your food or did your mother and father get it for you?"

"My father always got my food for me. He presented it too me and told me how grateful I should be to have it, and that I was to eat all of it. I had a tin plate that he gave it to me on and would sit on the porch for breakfast and lunch, but at dinner I was allowed to eat at the table with them as long as I wasn't in trouble for something." He said looking at her with some embarrassment.

Dr. Ryan looked at him with worry, "Why weren't you allowed to eat at the table except for dinner and what happened if your father found out you ate something he didn't allow?"

"If I ate something he hadn't given me then I was forced to throw it up and then given lashes. He said that tables were meant for adults not children, the only reason I was allowed to eat at the table for dinner was that my mother had insisted on it." House stated with a disagreeable tone. "I was around three and a half when sleeping outside became one of my punishments. It was a constant along with the eating that later became a given anytime I was to be punished."

She looked down at her notes uneasily, "Were you restrained?"

House's eyes moved quickly to her face to notice her staring at the notebook. "Yes, I was at first tied but then one very cold night I untied myself to sneaked under the house to stay warm, my father found out and that's when he brought out the chain and cuff."

"Exactly how did having your father control your eating and making you sleep outside make you a better soldier later?" Dr. Ryan asked with a huff looking up at him.

He straightened up looking her in the eye, "I learned how to ignore the feeling of hunger instead of being controlled by it like most people are which helps when resources are scarce and you have a whole unit to think about. Sleeping outside at such a young age meant the by the time I was enlisted in the Marine I was a pro at it so while most people were barely moving from not being able to sleep I was moving sharply and with purpose. I could sleep in the trees or the desert sand during day or night and through rain, snow, whirling wind or the breaking branches of the live forest."

She didn't seem impressed as she listened, "Did any of this training cause you physical harm?"

House narrowed his eyes and tilted his head as he observed her with a knowing look, "Many of the most valuable lessons in life are taught through the way of trial and error, or they not?" He waited a moment for a response but soon realized that he wasn't going to get one and sighed. "Yes, I fainted sometimes from hunger, broke my collar bone falling from a tree, got rabies twice, frostbite twice, pneumonia at maybe two dozen times, and was bitten by three different snake only one of which was poisonous. But I recovered from it all just fine so I don't see why it's all that important."

"You really think that don't you?" Dr. Ryan said looking disappointed, "How much do you weigh Greg?"

He sat up straight and looked down at his thin torso and then back at her rolling his eyes, "I weigh a hundred forty-six pounds right now but I lost weight in the hospital and have had muscle loss from being confined to this wheelchair."

"Fine, the what did you weigh before you were attacked in your home," she asked with a smile.

"A hundred fifty-two," House answered strongly.

Dr. Ryan looked worried, "That would make your BMI right around 18 and with an extra six pounds your waist might have been 28 inches making your body fat percentage less than four. So you were still very underweight. Have you ever taken the time to think about why?"

"There's no need to think about it, I don't eat right," he said rhetorically. "My medications make me nauseous sometimes and then if I don't take enough medicine the pain from walking on my ruined thigh ruins my appetite. I also tend to get obsessed over hard cases and then I just plain forget to eat. The fact that I'm underweight hasn't gone unobserved by me and the reasons are obvious to anyone that's put any amount of thought into it."

She thought about what he said not sure if his rationalization of his weight was right or just his subconscious's way of keeping him from thinking deeper about his eating habits. "How are you sure that the medicine makes you nauseous? Do you get less nauseous if you don't take it for a day?"

"I can't stop taking my pain medicine for more than 12 hours without going into detox, which also causes nausea, but I'm taking a lot of a medication which lists nausea as one of it's side effects so it only makes sense that if I'm experiencing nausea while taking it, then it's probably because of the medication." House said reasonably.

"You live alone and don't date much, from what the nurses told me, you also don't have many close friends," Dr. Ryan said watching him.

"So?" he responded back.

"So, do you eat by yourself often? Cook for yourself, go to restaurants alone, order take out by yourself or delivery?" she asked with interest.

House frowned as he thought about it, "No, not really, but you can't cook without standing which hurts so I don't cook and restaurants are filled with stupid people which I see enough of at work."

"I don't think it's the medicine making you feel nauseous," Dr. Ryan said with confidence. "I'm guessing you eat most of your meals with Wilson. I'm betting he actually buys a lot of meals and brings them to you. I would also assume that when you do get something and eat it by yourself you always feel more nauseous and don't finish your food, am I wrong Greg?"

House was watching her intently, "No, but how did you know that."

"I think getting food for yourself subconsciously makes you feel nauseous because your father use to force you to throw up anything he didn't give you permission to eat. I think you allow other people fill his role, like Wilson," she said calmly but with some worry.

House half laughed and half scoffed, "Wilson isn't anything like my father and if what you are saying was true I wouldn't be able to eat unless Wilson gave me food, which isn't the case."

"You would be able to eat, you just wouldn't be able to enjoy it because you would feel nauseous, which you've already said is true." Dr. Ryan countered. "Food is a necessity but your father treated you as if it was something that had to be earned. So it would naturally make you feel better if someone gives you food because it's almost as if they are saying you deserve it. It's easy enough to tell if I'm right, because if I am, then you would also punish yourself by not eating if you felt you had done something wrong, like if you lost a patient or done something to upset someone close to you. The nurses said you refused to eat anything after breaking up with Lisa Cuddy, is that true."

"Yes, but I had a lot of injuries and was taking a lot of medications on top of being worried if I'd ever walk again or if I would be HIV positive," he said defensively.

She raised an eyebrow, "All of which you had been dealing with since you had been admitted to the hospital but you only stopped eating after you broke up with Lisa, and you didn't start eating on your own again until she came back. You are a bright man Greg but thinking how your father treated you as a child no longer effects how you feel or act isn't logical."

House smiled amused, "You first complement my intelligence then in the same sentence you say my reasoning is faulty. I'm not sure exactly how I'm suppose to feel about that."

"And we're back at deflecting again," Dr. Ryan said with a sigh.

His smile faded, "What the hell am I suppose to say here? Oh great I already knew I was fucked up but now you've opened my eyes to the fact I'm fucked up in ways I hadn't even thought of, am I supposed to be happy, grateful, or what exactly?"

Her face softened, "All I want you to do is talk to me about however you feel. If you think I'm way off the mark then you can tell me that, but getting off topic isn't going to work with me. If you don't want to talk about something that's okay, just say I don't feel comfortable discussing this and I promise I'll leave it alone."

"It feels unsettling, so there, can we keep this moving because at this rate I'm going to be here for the next year," House said with frustration she nodded. "Great, um the next punishment was ice baths. I would get a fifty pound block of ice which I would break up in large metal tub, then I would get undressed while my father put in some water. I would get in the tub stay for whatever amount of time my father had decided. He instructed me to keep my body in motion so my temp wouldn't go down to far and helped coach me on how to focus on other things then the cold. When the time was up he would grab me by the collar bone and hold my head under until I took in water, at which time he would grab me out and throw me against the ground to get the water out. Yes the ice was sharp and would cut me with every move and there were two time he held me down too long, one time he revived me with CPR and the other time the hospital got me going again. Any questions that I didn't cover there before I move on?" He asked with condescension.

Dr. Ryan's face was that of shock as she looked at him, "Um, yes. How old were you when the ice baths started?"

House thought about it for a second, "I was four, but it was only two or three months before I turned five."

"Explain something to me if you would. How can you talk about technically dying at your fathers hands as if it was nothing? Do you honestly not feel anything about what happened?" She asked.

He rolled his eyes, "I've technically died sixteen times, two of which happened in this very hospital only six weeks ago, so I'm kind of over it by now. Also it isn't like he was trying to kill me, if he had all he would have had to do was let me in fact die. At the time it happened I was scared, then disappointed when I didn't see anything but black instead of those angels that the preacher always talked about." He scoffed, "To be honest how can I be mad at him when I've stopped peoples hearts to for diagnostic tests and even to prove a diagnoses."

Dr. Ryan looked down at her watch to see it was already almost four. "I don't think we are going to be able to get through all of your punishments today, but I would like to ask you a couple of questions before we end today." House nodded. "Did your mother know about this training and your punishments?"

"She knew that my father was training me but she didn't know anything about how or my punishments. When she was down she said that she hoped that since my father died there wouldn't be secrets between us, and I said "you knew?" She said that she had suspected but wasn't certain until that moment. I didn't tell her what he did and she didn't ask, Wilson was in the next room." House explained.

She wrote down a couple of notes, "Also have you told anyone else about this?"

"Wilson's the only living thing I've told besides Rocket and you. I didn't tell him everything, just a little bit here and there," he said rubbing his thigh nervously.

Dr. Ryan watched him, "And why didn't you tell anyone else, afraid that they might be met with the same fate as Rocket?"

House looked at her without amusement, "Wilson and I really ought to get going. I'll see you next Thursday Dr. Ryan."

She got up, "I didn't mean to offend you, I was just wondering if your father ever threatened you or others if you told someone about the training."

"He told me others wouldn't understand and that I would be taken away and sent to an orphanage if I told," he said rolling to the door as she walked beside him.

"I look forward to seeing you next Thursday Greg and if you would rather you can write down what your punishments were in order with descriptions. I might help to shorten the process." Dr. Ryan said as she held the door open for him.


	61. Chapter 61: Trusting Balls

_Well I got a new chapter up for you and I hope you enjoy it. I do plan on keeping the therapy sessions so if you have any cool ideas about House's issue that you would like to see discussed, then let me know and I'll see what I can do. Thanks_

House rolled out with a feeling of dread, this was the hardest part, he had to trust her to keep his private past secret. He looked at Wilson and felt awkward, was Dr. Ryan right? Was Wilson just a substitute for his father in ways? Wilson did look anything like his father and emotionally the men where about as opposite as you could get, but yet there were similarities between the men. Both of them had a thing for organization and rules. Wilson like to have everything planned and ready in his world and John House had always been the same way, something that he himself had never really cared for. He understood it and the benefits to it, but felt too tethered by it in ways. Wilson and his father also both had a place for everything and liked things to stay where they were and clean, another thing that he hadn't really seen the necessity of. Both men also pledged that they were always wanting to help him to be better in one way or another.

"House?" Wilson said for the fifth time finally getting House to blink, "You alright? You just kept staring at me?"

"Hm, oh yeah, I'm fine," House said taking a deep breath and coughing some. "We should get going before Cuddy sends a search party looking for us," he said with a joking smile.

Wilson lifted an eyebrow, the only times House really smiled was if he was amused, at a really good joke or at people humiliating themselves (usually the later), or if he was subtly trying to deflect. It wasn't something House did often but Wilson had seen him do it in the past smile and make a light normal joke to avoid talking about something or in desperate situations he could use his smile along with some complementing words to kiss-ass better than anyone. Since the joke hadn't been all that good it meant House was trying to avoid talking about something. Usually Wilson would try to get whatever it was out of him the minute he saw such signs but House had been in a therapy session talking about his father for the past two hours so he figured he could let it slide for the moment. "Lead the way," he said smiling back.

House did just that and it wasn't long before they were in the car headed back towards PPTH. "Maybe you were right and this therapy crap will help. She actually seems to be good," House said looking out the window as usual.

"I'm proud of you for taking the step and going. It takes time House but it'll help in ways you could even imagine," Wilson said warmly. House didn't respond and they ended up riding almost the whole way back in silence. It wasn't until Wilson was parking that anyone spoke. "I think you should tell Cuddy about the therapy. You'll have to be gone every week to go and it's not going to take Cuddy long to figure out what's going on."

House looked at him with distaste, "You said you wouldn't tell."

Wilson blinked at him confused, "I didn't tell, I'm saying I think you should tell."

"You haven't told yet, but if I don't you will," House stated.

"No I wont," Wilson said getting out of the car and grabbing House's wheelchair from the back.

House grabbed the wheelchair from him unfolding it, "Yes you will, I can see it on your face and in your voice. You'll find some way of letting her find out or tell her that you went with a friend to therapy and then she'll know and you won't have actually said it. I know you Wilson," he said practically falling in the wheelchair.

Wilson watched as House started rolling off and closed the car door he left open. House was right of course Wilson had already even thought of someways of letting Cuddy find out on her own. "Okay, that's fair," he said as he caught up to House, "but I wont do any of that now. It's got to be your decision and I'll respect that, but I still think you should tell her."

House rolled his eyes as he opened the door to PPTH he made it all of ten feet before he was stopped by the one and only Lisa Cuddy. "Where the hell have you been?" she hissed.

House stopped and looked up at her, "Lunch, there was a huge accident on the road so Wilson and me had to wait on traffic."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him, "No there wasn't, one it doesn't take three hours to clear the road of an accident and two, if there had been an accident that bad we would have gotten in some patients."

"Fine, I'm lying because it none of you business where I was, and why do you care anyways I thought you wanted me to stay away from everyone," he said flatly.

"IT'S MY BUSINESS WHERE YOU ARE DURING WORK HOURS BECAUSE I'M YOUR BOSS YOU IDIOT!" She yelled at him. House jerked back some and started in a coughing fit. Cuddy crossed her arms as she looked at him and then looked at Wilson. "Where were you two? You have patients lined up by your office for appointments that you haven't been here for and he has a patient who hasn't gotten better."

Wilson looked at her with disgust, "You know how yelling effects him," he said in a low angry voice.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "Right, I forgot it makes him cough." She looked down at House, "You can stop pretending to be sick, it isn't going to make me feel sympathetic for you and let you off."

"He's not pretending his been coughing all day, he needs to get checked out himself," Wilson said now regarding House with worry.

House was glaring at Cuddy, "Wilson just go and I'll deal with this," he said trying to hold back another cough.

Wilson looked hesitant but left as House had asked, Cuddy had said that he had a line of patients waiting.

"Deal with this? Who the do you think you are House? You don't DEAL with me, I tell you what to do and you do it, is that to hard of a concept for you to understand?" she said as her volume started to increase again the madder she was getting.

"Dr. Cuddy," Nurse Beth said to which Cuddy looked at her with irritation. Beth's eyes wondered around the entrance way and at the clinic patients who were all looking at Cuddy with disbelief, Cuddy's eyes followed hers and she got the message. To them she was just some horrible boss yelling at a sick man in a wheelchair who looked half dead.

"Dr. House, I think it would be better if we discussed this in my office," Cuddy said smoothly in a professional tone.

House's eyes moved to her office and he swallowed, "Tell the male secretary to keep his hands off of me." He hit his mark as he saw some of the anger in her face vanish and some guilt take it's place.

Cuddy opened the door and he rolled in and opened her office door before Nathan even looked his way and was in before he got out a word, Cuddy right behind him. "House," Cuddy started with a sigh looking at the ground and then looked up as she heard her bathroom door shut. She tried the door to find out it was locked.

House's stomach was twisted in painful knots that made him feel nauseous. He went to the sink and ran some cold water that he rinsed his face off with. She had to have known how much it would hurt him for her to say he was pretending to get sympathy from her after that time in his apartment during the spasms. She had said it just to hurt him, why, because he had been gone of a few hours? House looked in the mirror at himself as he rubbed his cool wet hand on the back of his neck. He looked dead. He was pale as paper except for the skin around his eyes which looked bruised. He saw that there was a bathtub in the reflection and turned to look at it, then his stomach hurt worse. He had told her so much and now she was going to tell everyone. Everyone would know and they would treat him differently, like he was some pathetic abused child. How could he have been so stupid to tell the damn therapist so much, what if she recorded it. He hadn't seen a recorder but that didn't mean she hadn't. What if she wasn't even a therapist what if this had all been some elaborate joke. His breathing was shallow and his stomach twisted more. He rolled over to the toilet and vomited.

Cuddy had called his name but didn't get a response which wasn't that much of a surprise. She heard the faucet come on and then off after about a minute. She waited for him to open the door but he didn't. She called his name and once again he ignored it. She grabbed the key in her desk and unlocked the door to see his head over the toilet and then barely a second later he was throwing up. She closed the door back silently to give him his privacy. She cringed as she heard him retch and walked back over to the couch and sat down. It was around twenty minutes before he came back out. Cuddy looked at him without a clue of what to say. Water was still lingering on his white faint skin, his lips were light and cracked, his eyes were bloodshot and surrounded by tired dark skin.

House had expected her to say something but she didn't, he didn't risk looking at her face though. "I guess I might as well tell you," he said and swallowed. "Either this was some joke and you were in on it or you'll get it out of Wilson, or figure it out on your own either way you'll find out. I was stupid enough to let Wilson talk me into going to therapy and... oh god, the things I told her."

Cuddy saw the panic in his eyes as his hands shook. Whatever he had told her seemed to have him upset quite a bit which intrigued her some and scared her more. "House it's okay," she said softly.

"Were you both in on this, was there a recorder involved? I swear if I find out..." he stopped as Cuddy stood up looking down at him as if he was nuts.

"Greg you have to calm down, no one was in on anything," she said looking at him with worry.

House looked down from her, "What was I thinking, why did I tell her that. I don't even know her," he said with labored breathing.

Cuddy leaned down and he rolled back away from her, "Don't TOUCH!" he screamed.

She promptly put her hands up in the air and stood back up, she was watching him closely. "I'm not going to touch you Greg, but you have to calm down you're going to cause yourself to hyperventilate."

House closed his eyes and used his training to calm his breaths, it was only a matter of seconds before his breathing was close to normal. "I told her stuff I haven't told anyone. I even let her talk me into doing a double session, but what's to keep her from telling everyone what I told her."

Cuddy had always known House had trust issues, which was logical given what happened with his leg, but she hadn't realized how deep they ran. He REALLY had trust issues. "Look at me," she said waiting for him to comply, "it's okay, she isn't going to tell anyone what you told her. It's a secret that only you and her know."

House looked down with a bitter grimace, "I told Rocket my secrets and he died."

She looked up trying to stop tears at his words, one or two got past her but she was able to dry her eyes before anymore could get loose. She patted her face getting the water off and looked at him staring a hole in the carpet. "She isn't going to tell anyone and she isn't going to die Greg."

"Don't call me that," he said then looked up at her. "So what are you going to do to punish me, I'd rather get this over with."

Cuddy sighed she didn't know how he transformed so fast. She tried standing more assertively and thought about it. "I can't give you more clinic hours, since you aren't allowed in the clinic," she said thinking out loud. "But the board is on my ass to make sure that you are doing everything by the book and even thought therapy is a good reason to be gone, it has to be approved first." She paced some as House's eyes followed her.

"You could give me lashes," he said in a low voice holding out his belt.

She laughed grabbing it, "Lashes?" she said thinking it was a joke until she saw he halfway had his shirts off. Her eye now realizing what those scares on his back were from. "NO! No, House I'm not going to... how could you even think... I would never," she stumbled out watching as he pulled his shirts back down. She leaned on her desk for support and held the belt out to him, "Put your belt back on.

He did so and then looked at her, "I just thought that was the customary way of punishing slaves."

"I don't treat you like a slave House," Cuddy said watching him.

House looked at her with penetrating eyes, "So that's how you talk to all the respectable doctors, right? And by the way I wasn't faking the cough."

She sighed, "I'm under a lot of pressure to show the board that letting you come back early was a good decision. I shouldn't have yelled or accused you of pretending to be sick."

"I don't really care what you do to punish me yell at me or give me some lashes. I just want to get this over with, I still have a patient to fix remember?" he said.

"I would have cared," she said with a grim expression.

"Well you were acting like you were out for blood when I came in, so pick something already," House said with a tired voice.

"Fine, I want you to write a review for each of your team members, there now you can go," she said watching him.

House looked up and nodded, "Are you punishing Wilson too, it wasn't his fault."

Cuddy frowned, "Not bad, I'll just add two more clinic hours to his time." He looked worried about it. "He likes the clinic House, it'll be fine," she said opening the door for him. He nodded at her as he rolled out.

"Where have you been?" Foreman said with a scowl as he watched House roll in the DDX room.

"In yo' momma's bed," he retorted with a sneer as he looked at the white board. "Is this all you've done while I was gone?" he asked with disbelieve. "IDIOTS!" he exclaimed looking at them.

"At least we were here," Taub said condescendingly.

House raised an eyebrow, "Doing what exactly? Sitting on your asses?"

Thirteen looked at him with worry as she threw a file on the table in front of him, "We've run tons of tests and still we can't find out what's wrong with him."

"That's because you didn't run the right tests, and you didn't know what the right tests to run were because you still haven't asked the hard questions," he replied coughing some.

"Are you alright?" Kutner asked with concern.

"Just peachy, now I'll show you how to ask the hard questions," House said rolling over to the door.

Foreman opened the door and they all followed as House rolled to the room. "God my balls hurt! Ya know what I mean," he said looking at the 15 year old kid in the bed.

"Um..." the kid said looking confused.

"Who are you? We don't appreciate our kid hearing that kind of language," A woman in her forties said standing up.

"Oh I'm sorry, I forget I'm not suppose to use the word God in front of a patient anymore, unbelievers get offended so easily. I'm Dr. House, your son's doctor and I need to ask him some very important and serious questions that he may feel awkward answering with you in the room, so you can go," House said waiting for her to leave.

"God wasn't the word I was talking about and we're not leaving, we are his parents," The woman said getting red in the face.

House looked at Foreman, "I don't remember saying they both needed to leave, did I?"

"No," Foreman answered.

"Good, so I haven't completely lost my mind. I just need you to leave Mrs... ah Bochman." House said reading the last name off the file.

She looked at him with rage, "No I'm not going to leave my son." Mrs. Bochman turned to who must have been Mr. Bochman. "He doesn't even know our names John. I told you we shouldn't have come here."

"Ronda he's suppose to be the best, please just go outside of a couple of minutes," John said reassuringly while rubbing her arms.

Mrs. Bochman sighed and nodded, glaring at House as she walked by.

"Okay," House said after the door closed, "so back to the subject at hand, well more like in your hands. Your balls, they ever hurt?" The kid blushed and shrugged. House sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "Come on, they hurt don't they, like getting kicked right in the cojones? That means testicles by the way," he said watching the kid.

"Brad is he right?" John asked.

Brad looked nervous, "What does it mean if I said yes?"

"That depends on what other things you are hiding from us. Pain in any part of your body is called a symptom and we need to know all your symptoms to fix you." House looked down at the wheels his hands were resting on. "Like if you found a bump on one of your testicles I would need to know that too."

"How did you know about that?" Brad asked.

House gave a bad fake smile, "Good news is I'm pretty sure I know what you have."

"Is this some kind of STD," John asked.

"No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure your son has testicular cancer, but we wont know until we get him in for an ultrasound. It's very treatable if caught early and we have some great oncologists." House said looking at the father.

Brad was staring at his father and the father was staring at House, "But you could be wrong."

House nodded, "I could be, but we wont know anything until the ultrasound has been done." He looked over at Foreman, "Get the test done as soon as possible." Then he rolled out.

Cuddy was sitting in her office chair looking outside as she kept think about House offering up the idea of lashes for punishment. The why was obvious by the scars on his back; someone had done it before and not just once or twice, but whom? The ringing of her phone brought her out of her thoughts as she picked it up. "Dr. Cuddy speaking," she said automatically.

"There is a Dr. Wilson here to see you, are you busy or should I send him in?" Nathan said on the other line.

She knew this was going to be about House and that Wilson wasn't going to be in good humor about the way she treated House in the lobby. He had a right to be angry with her, but if she had any idea that House had been in a long therapy session then she never would have attacked him the way she did. "Go a head and send him in Nathan, thank you for calling me."

The door opened as soon as she hung up the phone and Wilson walked looking around some. He half expected House to still be there in some kind of yelling match with Cuddy since it hadn't looked likely that she was going to let him go without finding out where he was. House not being there meant one of two things had happened, he had told Cuddy where he'd been or she's given up. "Did you give up or finally get it out of him?" Wilson asked pacing the length of the room stopping when he got close to the restroom with a distasteful look on his face.

"He told me," she said standing up and watching him.

Wilson took in another breath of air and his face contorted more, "What's that smell?"

Cuddy looked toward the bathroom and felt a good tug of guilt as she looked back at Wilson, "He got sick to his stomach."

"Oh I wonder what could have made him feel sick to his stomach," Wilson said with fake confusion. "He seemed fine this morning, and when we got back. Hm, what could have happened between us getting back and him being in your office?"

"Fine it was my fault, just like everything else that happens with House is. It's not that big of a deal Wilson." Cuddy said with frustration.

"YES IT IS," he said loudly. "Before any of this shit happened House weighed 152 on a good day wet, and when he got out of the hospital he weighed 140 which dropped down to 136 in the first week because of the vomiting. He's finally up to 146 and both today and yesterday he's been upset to the point of vomiting. He needs to be able to keep this weight and gain more which he can't do if people keep pushing him to the point they make him sick."

His accusing eyes stayed on hers. Cuddy swallowed at hearing how underweight House really was. "I didn't mean to make him sick," she said looking at him, "of course if you had told me that he was going to a therapy session today most of this could have been avoided."

Wilson looked at her with a mixture of guilt and worry. "So, he really told you," he said walking over to her couch and dropping down in a spot.

The guilt on his face didn't surprise her, but the worry did. Wilson had been wanting to get House into therapy for years and now he was finally going. Cuddy walked over looking down at him, "Wilson what's wrong, isn't that what we all wanted; him to go to therapy?"

He didn't look up at her just stared at the coffee table, "How did you convince him to tell you? He was so adamant about no one knowing, what did you do?"

Cuddy sat down beside him looking at the bathroom. "You heard all of what I did out in the lobby, first thing he did when he got in my office was go to the restroom and lock it. He was in there for a couple of minutes and I decided to unlock because I thought he was just trying to prolong the talk, but as soon as I opened the door he was retching. When he came out he just told me that you had gotten him to go to therapy. Then he started freaking out, saying he shouldn't have told her everything he did and for some reason he started thinking it was some prank and we had recorded it. He got so upset I thought he was going to hyperventilate."

Wilson looked over at her, "He really thought we had bugged his therapy session?"

"Yes, I told him it was okay and that he could trust his therapist," she frowned looking at her desk. "He said he'd told Rocket his secrets and he died."

Wilson stood up shaking his head, "How did we not see it? How is it that none of us ever realized that he was abused? All the signs were there!"

She looked up at him, "Maybe because we didn't want to see it. Did he use the word abuse?"

Wilson rubbed his face and let his hands go through his hair, "No, he got pretty mad when he heard me use it, but from the few things he's told me it had to be abuse."

Cuddy sighed, "Wilson why didn't you just tell me he had an appointment?"

"Why do you think?" he answered. "House has been going through so much lately and his emotions are jumping all which ways. His been paranoid, vulnerable, scared, mad, disappointed, frustrated, angry, obsessed, depressed, repressed, needy, distrusting, and defensive. I never know what he want's from one minute to the next. So when he told me not to tell you, I didn't."

"Well, Dr. Miller stopped by my office yesterday to give me a lecture about House not being ready to come back to work and that the board was going to be looking for any reason to make House take the rest of his sick leave. So I hate to do this, but I'm going to have to add two clinic hours to your time," she said.

"What's House's punishment?" Wilson asked with curiosity. She shivered as she thought about the punishment House himself had suggested, which didn't go unnoticed. "Cuddy, what's wrong?"

Cuddy swallowed,"He gave me his belt and said I could give him lashes, at first I thought it was a joke, but then he started taking off his shirt and later he made a slave reference. I'm still not sure if he was joking or not, but those scars on his back." She was looking distantly and then blinked, looking back at him. "Has he... ever said anything about lashes?"

Wilson's eyes had widened, "No, he's never..." he could actually say the word lashes in reference to House. "He knows that you and me know about the ice baths and being drowned." He chewed on his lips trying to decide what he should or should not say. "I found him crying in my room last Tuesday night when I got home. He um, admitted he's been depressed for the last couple of years and that it's gotten bad, so I begged him to go to therapy."

The emotion in Wilson's voice was strong and clearly indicated he wasn't saying everything, "What aren't you telling me," she asked.

Wilson's eyes were glassy as his mouth was in a grimace, "What he made me promise not to. He said he was miserable, and that even with therapy he would never be happy and... I believe him Cuddy. I don't think he'll ever be happy again, too much has happened."

Cuddy looked at him confused and stunned, "But, I don't understand, he's going to therapy, why would he go if he doesn't think it'll work?"

"Because I asked him too, and he's hoping he'll be less miserable," he said defeatedly. "I'm assuming you didn't actually go through with lashing him."

"No, of course not, I didn't even know how to respond. I ended up telling him that I wanted him to do reviews on all his team members, it's the only thing I could thing of after he threw me for a loop like that," she said with a shrug.

Wilson let out a half laugh, "Oh boy, look to see the word idiot about a hundred times. Also, he knew what was wrong with his patient after just looking at the file some, he was just trying to see if his team could figure it out without him telling them."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "You know it would be so much easier if he would just clue me in every once and in a while on his plans."

"Yeah well when has House ever tried to make it easier?" He stated with a smile. "So, I heard you told House about Stacy having a baby."

She looked at him with guilt, "I didn't think it would upset him like it did."

"He's a bit touchy when it comes to her, did she tell you not to tell him or am I the only one that got that memo?" Wilson asked.

Cuddy looked at him surprised, "I guess you're the only one, she never told me anything about keeping it a secret from House. I had assumed he knew until I mentioned it and he started asking questions and getting upset. Why would she not want him to know?"

Wilson looked at her in thought and sat back down beside her. "How much did you hear about when she came back with Mark?"

She shrugged, "Well I could see soon after that House wasn't okay with it even though he had said he was. She seemed irritated at first, then she seemed to start taking an interest in him again. Then there about two weeks were she tore him down every chance she could and told me she was looking to leave soon. Then things seemed to calm down and they were working well together, she said something happened but not what and out of nowhere she told me that Mark was doing better and she needed to get back home."

"The weeks she was mad at him, she found out that he broke in to her therapists office and made a copy of her file, which he'd been using to try and seduce her. She kissed House when they were in Baltimore and about a week later she had sex with him, which he assumed to mean that she was back with him. He found out that what it really meant was that she just wanted to have sex with him, but had no intentions of leaving Mark. So he told her he wouldn't do that and she need to choose." He said taking a pause.

"She choose Mark," Cuddy said.

Wilson shook his head looking at her, "No, she told him that she was going to leave Mark and stay there with him. He told her to go with Mark. When I found out I automatically assumed he did it because he was afraid that if he was happy he would lose that thing about him that makes him him. Then I called Stacy and told her that if she was serious about him and she was done with the hurting she put him through the first time that she need to talk to him about it some more." He rubbed his thighs, "She told me that he had basically said that he wasn't good enough for her which she shrugged off as House being House. But then when he looked her in the eyes and said that she would leave him in the end and he couldn't go there again she saw a hurt in his eyes and a brokenness in his voice she'd never heard from him. She said there were no guarantees if she tried again with him, but that she could be certain if she didn't that she would never hurt him that bad again, so she let him go without a fight."

"Never thought he would have said no to her," She said looking over to Wilson.

He nodded his agreement and frowned. "Eight months almost exactly after they had sex, she delivered a beautiful baby boy, which she told me not to tell him about and refuses to send me a picture of even though she made me his Godfather."

Cuddy looked a him with wide eyes, "You think Stacy had House's baby and you didn't tell him?"

Wilson looked at her with uncertainty, "First of all I didn't, and still don't have any proof. Second, can you think of anything that would hurt him worse than finding out that even though she aborted his babies when she was with him, she decided to have his baby when he wouldn't be the one she was raising it with. She's hurt him enough for a one lifetime, I'm not going to help her hurt him anymore."

Cuddy stood up, "Wilson he has a right to know if he has a child. How bad do you think it's going to hurt him if he finds out that you had suspicions and didn't tell him?"

He stood up quickly, "Cuddy he isn't even able to take care of himself right now. I have to remind him to eat and ask if he's taken his pills and what if I'm wrong? If I told him what I thought and I was wrong it could destroy Stacy and Mark's marriage, because I can promise you she didn't tell him about what happened with House. Speaking of which he'd be hurt thinking she did have his kid and then disappointed when he found out it wasn't his."

"And what if it is his son? Don't you think he has a right to know his own kid?" She sighed, "I think having a kid would make him feel like he has more of a purpose than just work and he could be a great father, if he ever got the chance." Wilson gave her a knowing look. "Okay so maybe I imagined for a second that he would be good with Rachel and maybe it's part wishful thinking, but Wilson how do you know he wouldn't be a good father if he's never got the chance?"

Wilson sighed, "Cuddy I don't think House would make a bad father. I think he'd have fun with a kid and I know he'd always be there if his kid needed him, House has always been loyal to a fault, but there is someone else to be considered. How do you think this would be for the kid? His parents get divorced and he get's shipped off to this guys apartment, who's the reason his parents split, every other holiday and a month in the summer. Also now knowing just some of the things the man he was raised to believe was his father did to him, can you honestly believe House would ever allow Mark to raise his son?"

Cuddy crossed her arms and took a step back from him, "Wilson I don't think I can lie to him about this. It just isn't right."

"It's just a suspicion, we don't know that it's House's kid," he reminded her.

"You wouldn't have said anything if you weren't fairly certain of it. God Wilson, he'll never forgive us if he founds out we had even a clue that it was his. He'll think we kept it from him because we didn't think he'd be a good father. He'll think that we thought the kid would be better off without him in its' life," she pleaded with him to understand.

"Cuddy look at me," Wilson said and she complied. "He can't handle this, not now. The things he's dealing with right now are big and he needs this time to really deal with them and he needs to be prepared if things get worse. If... things get any harder on him I'm not sure he'll be able to handle it, you don't understand what all is going on with him."

"I don't understand because you two are keeping me in the dark and but I can't imagine that whatever it is, that it's anywhere near as impacting as finding out you have a child!" Cuddy said with frustration.

Wilson looked at her with serious eyes, "Well you're wrong, it's has just as much impact on his life if not more. You don't understand, he can't... he wont let anyone near him. He would push a child away right now out of some protective gesture. He wont even consider letting a kid near him until..." Wilson sighed, "This is so hard to explain without giving you hints or telling you, but trust me. House is family to me and I love him like a brother. I'm not lying, he can't handle it."

"You said he would tell me, how long do you think that will be?" she asked coolly looking him in the eyes.

"It could be as soon as tomorrow, but no later than the first week in September," he answered.

"I'm so glad you narrowed that down for me." She vented with frustration and the sighed. "Here's what I'm going to do. I'll wait until he's told me whatever it is that you two are so hush-hush about and then if I think he's ready I'm going to tell him that there is a chance Stacy's baby is his. If I don't think he's ready then I'll tell him as soon as I think he is. I'm not going to hide this from him forever Wilson."

Wilson could see that she wasn't going to back down, "Okay, but I want to be there when you tell him."

Cuddy nodded, "I'll let you know, was there anything else you needed?"

He thought about it and frowned, "There was a bruise on his bicep yesterday that wasn't caused by Ayersman. When I asked him how he got it, he said I should ask you."

"He tried to barge into my office yesterday morning while I was in a meeting and my assistant Nathan decided to take his role too seriously and grabbed House hard to stop him. He also made a comment about what happened in the cafeteria and House pushed him. I informed Nathan to never physically restrain someone like that again. I didn't realize how hard Nathan had grabbed him until I saw the bruise myself when I was seeing if Ayersman had injured him," she said looking concerned. "It wont happen again."

Wilson shook his head, "I hope House's story spreads fast through the grapevines, because now that he's weak everyone he's ever pissed off is trying to get a hit in."

"I know, before that night you gave me his key, I probably would have said he'd deserved it, but now after I've... well I don't feel that way anymore." Cuddy looked at her hands, "Yesterday and today he's looked so worn, has he been sleeping well?"

He leaned against her desk, "I don't think so, every time I try to ask him he gets defensive and says that he's fine, same thing he's been doing about the cough. Oh, I wanted to tell you he has a check up visit tomorrow about the leg, it's at ten, but it shouldn't take long."

"Um, thanks, I'll make a note of it. Also when are his therapy sessions going to be so I can send that down to human resources with my approval. I want to make sure that next time that both of you are covered when he goes." She asked getting out a pen.

"Thursdays at two, the reason we were so late this time was because she wanted to do a double session with him." Wilson smiled some, "She said he was doing really good."

She wrote it down and smiled, "That's good to hear. I hope it helps."


	62. Chapter 62: A Coughing Fit

_I wanted to take the time to thank everyone that has sent me reviews, it's really appreciated. For those of you who just read and don't review I hope you are liking the story and will let me know what you think at some point. I was hoping to make this a kind of interactive writing piece in some ways, that's why I've offered and still am for you the readers to let me know what you would like to see talked about in the therapy sessions. I've gotten a little feedback on that but I still could use more if anyone has any ideas. Once again thanks to all of you for reading, and keep reviewing. Nicole_

Wilson was laying in his bed staring at the ceiling, it was two in the morning and even though he had went to bed at eleven he had already woken up twice. He couldn't sleep, probably because he was worried about House. House had fallen trying to stand up to get in the tub, so he had helped. He knew House didn't like to be helped, but the fact he hadn't even attempted to fight Wilson away was a testament to how weak he was. His only demand had been that Wilson wear gloves. It was one of the only times Wilson could remember that House hadn't even tried to shield his scar from Wilson's sight. He had waited in the bathroom while House showed and heard more coughing. When he told House he wanted him to get it check out tomorrow he'd just nodded. House hadn't even been able to get out of the shower seat without Wilson's help and had gotten in the bed by eight.

House's deteriorating health was concern enough, but today at dinner was an event all it's own. Wilson had gotten Chinese delivered.

"Here," Wilson said handing a bag over to House.

House looked at Wilson as if he was nuts, "What's this?" he asked not opening the bag.

"Dinner?" He'd answered confused about why House was acting weird.

House pushed it back to Wilson, "I didn't ask for this."

"You're already complaining and you haven't even seen what I got you, just open the bag," he said getting frustrated.

"I'm not saying you didn't get me the right dishes, I'm say I didn't ask for food at all. Why did you get me this?" House demanded.

He shrugged, "I don't know, maybe because I was hungry and thought you might want to eat dinner with me."

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "A man buys dinner of three people, his sex partner, his child, and a friend without a job. So which am I to you?"

Wilson shook his head, "What's gotten into you House, why are you being this way?"

"Which am I! A piece of ass, some kind of adolecent that can't take care of myself, or am I so pathetic of a friend that you just can't help yourself?" House said getting madder.

"You're none of those things House. Please just eat, you need to eat," he pleaded.

"Don't tell me what to do you aren't my father and I'm not some child! I can get my own food, I'm a grown man for Gods sakes!" House yelled.

"Since when do you care if I buy you food?" Wilson asked then rolled his eyes. "Whatever House, and believe me I know I'm nothing like your father."

"Then quit acting like him! Stop telling me what and when I'll eat as if I'm a child too stupid to figure it out!" House yelled back.

"House stop yelling," Wilson said loudly.

"Quit telling me what to do! You aren't my Dad!" House yelled.

"You think I act like that looser of a father that John was? FINE! I'll treat you like he did." Wilson said in anger. He got up and opened the door to the porch. "There you can go eat outside like the fucking mutt he treated you like, and maybe if you're good I'll beat you and let you sleep outside!" Wilson was breathing hard as he looked at House's scared wide eyes. Wilson started to calm down and feel crappy as House just stared at him with the same expression. "House..." he said taking a step toward him but House swallowed and rolled into his room locking the door. Thirty minutes later he had rolled out silently and warmed up some of his left over Indian food. He rolled over toward the porch with his food when Wilson finally said something. "Don't, I'm sorry I shouldn't have ever said any of that. I just hate being compared to John."

House didn't look at him, he just kept his eyes on his plate that was on his knees. "The.. the beating and... the outside?"

His voice was so soft and broken Wilson wondered how bad he most have sounded for House to have actually believed he would even consider it. "No, no... House I was just mad. I'm not going to hurt you or have you sleep outside."

House just nodded and rolled over to a window and ate there. The glove comment was the only thing he said the rest of the night.

Wilson got out of the bed and walked past House's room. He stopped as he heard a noise a put his ear to the door. The noise was a hard muffled coughs, Wilson could just imagine House coughing in his pillow so he wouldn't hear him. He looked at the door wanting to go in and see how he was doing but he knew that would just upset House. He walked into the kitchen instead and poured himself a glass of scotch with some ice. It didn't take him long to finish it or long for him to get tired enough that he thought he might be able to get to sleep. As he walked down the hall again he stopped at House's door and could still hear the muffled coughing. He made a note to be sure that House actually got that checked out tomorrow.

House woke up to see it was five and pulled himself up to a sitting position, which made him cough some. He hadn't gotten much rest, he would sleep an hour and then wake up and cough for what seemed like forever then he'd pass out and wake up again coughing. It had gone on all night. He put his feet on the ground and took some shallow breaths as he prepared himself to stand up to get in his wheelchair. When he felt ready he pushed himself off the bed and his legs buckled almost automatically under his weight. His mouth contorted in a painful grimace as he landed on the same side he had last night when he tried to get in the tub.

He laid there a moment recovering and then looked took in his options. He could call out for Wilson, but he didn't want too, in some way it felt too much like admitting defeat. He decided option two was the one he'd go with and sat up coughing and dragged himself slowly over to his closet. He looked up and pulled down the blue over shirt, his red Chinese new years tee. He pulled off his sleep shirt and put the other shirts on then dragged himself to the dresser. He grabbed out a pair of socks and dark blue track pants. It was awkward to dress on the floor but it wasn't anything he hadn't done many times before. House pulled the bottles of pills off the dresser getting out his meds and dry swallowing them, then he looked back at the wheelchair and tried to pull himself up but he just didn't have the strength.

Wilson couldn't figure out what House's hold up was it was already seven and he still hadn't left his room. Wilson decided he must have slept in and that he needed to wake him up if they were going to make it to work on time. He walked in to find House sitting up against the bed by the wheelchair dressed and ready for work, which confused him.

"Hey," House said casually playing angry birds on his phone.

"Hey," Wilson said back looking around, he noticed House's sleep shirt by the closet and his sleep pant by the dresser and sighed figuring that House had just decided to be lazy and leave his clothes about. Then the pills got his attention lined up on the floor all in a row. There was no reason for House to have them like that unless... he'd been on the floor when he took them. Wilson looked back to House who's eyes shifted from the pill bottles to him. "You could have called out to me," Wilson said as he put it together.

"My arms need the exercise anyways, the babes love big guns," he said with as he flexed his arm.

Wilson figured he owed House a break, "Damn all that money I wasted on male enhancement pills when all I needed was to hit the weights some."

"Wouldn't know anything about those Jimmy, I was blessed with a big head at both ends," he said with a smirk.

"Are you sure that it wasn't a big ego you were blessed with," Wilson retorted has he leaned down making sure not to touch House's skin and helped to pull him up.

House gritted his teeth taking shallow breaths, "Just ask Cuddy," he quipped as he got in the wheelchair.

Wilson knew all to well that his friend wasn't lying from the times he'd seen House naked, but he also knew that bring that up would only irritate House. "I'll have to put that on my list of things to do. Now, do you need to go to the restroom?"

"Nope," he said, "already went."

Wilson blinked, "But I never saw or heard you go to the restroom."

House looked over at vase with fake foliage sticking out sitting by the window, "You know the great thing about fake plants is that they never die."

Wilson's eyes followed House's, "Lovely House, any other places you might want to warn me about?"

"Shit happens," House said with a slight smile.

Wilson looked scared and disgusted, "And what exactly do you mean by that?"

House smirked, "You never know."

Wilson narrowed his eyes on Houses, "You're an ass."

"You know I think you might have mice or something because there is something in my closet that reeks," House said back looking at the closet and then Wilson innocently.

Wilson walked over to the closet while House rolled out into the living room. There wasn't any smell and finally he figured House had to be fucking with him and walked in the living room to see House slumped over coughing. "You have to get that checked out today."

"Yes mommy," he responded in a hoarse voice.

"Here," Wilson said throwing him a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Wilson was glad to have House acting more like himself but it didn't stop him worrying about the fact that House kept looking worse every day.

They were entering PPTH five minutes before eight and Cuddy smiled at them, "Glad to see you two," she said cheerfully.

"Don't fall for it Wilson, she acts nice and then gets you to look in her eyes and next thing you know your stoned... or turn into stone, either way, it's a trap." House said squeezing his eyes shut.

Cuddy made as sound that was eerily between the rattling of a rattlesnake and a hiss.

House opened one of his eyes looking at her, "That's just plain creepy."

"Oh there are a lot of noises I can make Dr. House," Cuddy said with a raised eyebrow.

House's face actually blushed some, "Like?"

Cuddy shook her head at his comment then gave him a reassuring smile, "I hope your appointment goes well today House."

House paled instantly and looked at Wilson, "Wow," he said with an appalled look.

"I'm sorry House, she needed to know about your leg appointment today," Wilson said with a frown hoping House would cover well.

"And I need a friend who knows what the word private means," House said rolling off toward the elevators.

"I should go," Wilson said and started running after House, and caught up at him waiting for the elevator to come down. "I'm sorry."

"Why don't you take the stairs, at least you can walk," House said rolling in the elevator.

Wilson put his arm out to keep the elevator from closing, "House your problem isn't that you are physically crippled but emotionally crippled."

"Why don't you stop trying to fix me and work on fixing your patients, maybe then you can be a decent doctor," House retorted as Wilson squeezed by House on to the elevator.

"At least I'm a decent person," Wilson fired back as the doors closed.

They both were silent for a moment, "Do you think she bought it?" House asked.

Wilson smiled, "Yeah, you played it off incredibly well."

"Next time let me on your lies," House said with a smile, "said the emotionally crippled man."

Wilson laughed, "Well at least you're a decent doctor, but me, I'm just a hack."

House laughed which turned into a cough, "At least your the hack everyone loves"

It was 9:40 when Wilson knocked on House's office door and walked in. House had some forms scattered about his desk with his glasses on reading one. "We need to get going if we're going to make it on time," Wilson announced.

"Have you ever done one of these before?" House asked holding out the form to him.

Wilson looked it over with a smile, "Yes House, I'm the head of the Oncology department which means I have twenty-three doctors I have to do an annual review on each year."

"What the hell is the point of these, if I'm over hiring and firing for my department?" he asked taking off his glasses.

"We can talk while going to the car, I don't want to be late," Wilson stated.

House rolled his eyes. "Right, because I wouldn't want to have to wait five minutes more to find out if I'm positive or not," he said rolling to the door and opening it.

"Have you thought about how you will handle it if you are?" he asked walking to the elevator behind House.

House rolled onto the elevator and Wilson joined him. "With medication and masturbation," House said looking at the doors.

"Yes because it will only effect you on a physical level," Wilson said condescendingly.

House swallowed, "So are you going to tell me the point of the employee reviews?"

"There are a lot of reasons. The main reason is so you can go over them with your employees and let them know how you find them to be a valuable to the team and where you think they could improve." Wilson said.

House rolled his eyes, "They all ought to know that if I didn't think they were valuable then I wouldn't still have them working for me, and I'm not shy about give constructive criticism. I'm always letting my team members know where they are lacking and how I'd like them to improve."

"Yes House, I'm sure they all know how valuable they are to you," Wilson said sarcastically. "Also it lets your supervisor, that being Cuddy, to make sure your team is running efficiently and just because you have tenure that doesn't mean your team does. Cuddy could fire them if she didn't think they were doing their part." Wilson said walking in the lobby when he almost fell because House stopped in front of him.

"Cuddy only wanted to give me three, but caved and gave me four. This could be her way of getting rid of one of them," House said looking at her door.

Wilson walked past him and opened the lobby door, "You can move and have paranoid delusions at the same time House."

House rolled quickly through the doors and over to Wilson's car, "You would think they're giving away cake instead of doing a test."

"If I didn't know better I would think you were scared of finding out the results and trying to prolong it," Wilson said leaning down to help House.

"I'm not scared and I can get up on my own," He said swatting away Wilson's hand. He reached up to the 'oh-shit-handle' and pulled himself up, then put his left hand to his side on the seat. His legs let go and almost all of his weight was being supported by his right hand on the handle. He took slow steady breaths and let out a small grunt as he pulled his body up and into the seat.

Wilson rolled his eyes at him as he folded up the wheelchair and put it in the trunk, then got in the car himself. He looked over at House to gripe when he noticed the beads of sweat running down his face and there were even circles under his arms. "House you're sweating like a pig. Do you feel okay?"

"I'll be fine, we wouldn't want to be late, I heard there's supposed to be cake," House said with labored breath. He wrapped his arms around himself as he felt chilly. The trip was silent except for some coughing from him.

Wilson walked fast in front of House once they got in the building and signed in at the nurses station at 9:58.

"Are you happy now?" House asked rolling up beside the chair Wilson was sitting in.

"I know you don't care about holding someone up or keeping to a schedule but I do," Wilson said glancing at House.

"Yeah, you and John both seemed to find that stuff important, which I got during missions, but in life I find it needless and a huge factor for stress in people." House said looking around at the people in the waiting room.

Wilson thought about this, it made sense that John House would be a punctual and scheduled man and that he would have held his son to the same principals. "Maybe you dislike it because your father was that way."

"I don't like it because my whole life was nothing but schedules for so long. Everything was scheduled, exercise, training, bathing, brushing teeth, making up bed, eating, school, evening exercises, homework, punishments, dinner, chores, cleaning up for bed, sleep, piano time, how long I was even allowed to think about a question. My life literally ran on minutes allowed for each task, and it wasn't any different in the Marines. In College I was always taking maxed out loads of hours and having to get the dean to approve letting me take more so it didn't really allow for any time that wasn't scheduled either. As soon as I was done with medical school though, I never really worried about schedules again. It's like work, sure I usually come in late, but it isn't like I gone at five either. Hell there are lots of times I stay all night to work on a patients diagnoses, or work all weekend." House said rubbing his hands on the wheels.

House usually didn't explain in that much detail about himself, and Wilson figured from the constant rubbing of the wheels that House was nervous. "Do I really remind you of HIM?" Wilson asked.

House looked at him and swallowed, "No," he then looked away, "Yes," he said and sighed looking at Wilson. "Not on everything, but in some ways you two were a lot alike."

Wilson noticed the rubbing had turned into tapping, "House whatever the results are, it'll be fine."

House nodded and as if on cue his name was called by Jackie and he rolled off toward her.

"He has a cough he needs to get check up on too!" Wilson said loudly to her.

House ducked his head some out of embarrassment as he rolled into the room Jackie had gone into. "You know how women get those little dogs that they carry around everywhere as a substitute for children, I think I'm his," House said looking up at her.

"Well with the kinda of trouble you seem to always be getting yourself into that might not be such a bad thing," she said pulling out a cotton swab with gloved hands. House stared at it with a serious face and she sighed. It didn't matter who it was, it was always scary to get an HIV test, well not really the test as much as the results. "You ready Dr. House," she asked. That seemed to get his attention as he blinking and looked back at her and nodded opening up his mouth. When she was done she put a cover on it and then looked back at him to see sweat on his head. She put her hand to his forehead and he jerked back. "I'm wearing gloves, it's okay," she said and put her hand back on his forehead to feel that it was hot. "You have a fever, did you know that?" she asked standing up and grabbing the ear thermometer, which she put a plastic cover on and stuck in his ear.

"I figured I did, but it shouldn't be that bad," House said then coughed some.

"Be still," she said trying to hold the thermometer in his ear. When it beeped she looked at it and shook her head, "It's 106.4, you just got yourself admitted."

"No, it should be that high, not with the medication I'm on." House argued.

She handed the thermometer to him, "Read it yourself." She said while grabbing up a stethoscope to listen to his chest.

House squinted to read it but she was right. "You don't have to do that," he said watching her put the ear pieces of the stethoscope in her ears.

"Yes I do," she argued.

"No you don't, I know what it is," he said confidently, "it bacterial pneumonia."

Jackie looked at him as if he was nuts, "I knew you were crazy, but I didn't think you were stupid. If you knew what it was why didn't you go to the doctor sooner or get Wilson to write you a prescription?"

House looked her in the eye, "Cuddy let me come back to work on a trial bases, I didn't want them to think I couldn't handle it. I was planning on getting a prescription here or first thing tomorrow."

"Did you run tests?" she asked eying him.

"Nope, but I've had every form of pneumonia there is, I know when I say its bacterial pneumonia it is," he said.

"I'm running my own tests and I'm still admitting you, I have to with that kind of fever," Jackie said then leaned down and locked his wheels in the back where he couldn't reach.

"No," House said in a pleading tone, "Jackie please, just get me on the prescription, I need to work. It's the only thing that helps."

Jackie actually looked sorry, "I have to, you know that, now roll up your sleeve. I need to get a blood sample."

House jerked away from her, "No.. No blood," he said panicked shaking his head.

She noticed the shaking in his hands, "Dr. House I need you to calm down."

"No blood, you can do a CT Scan," House barked quickly then started coughing hard, covered his mouth with his forearm.

"I'm going to still have to..." she stopped talking as she saw the blood on his sleeve and looked up at him with more concern.

House saw the blood and looked at Jackie, "My throat's a raw from all the coughing, I'll be fine."

She shook her head, "You can't keep doing this to yourself. Your body can't handle it, you need rest and to not put off getting checked up when you know your not well."

"I can rest all weekend, what I need is work to keep my mind busy," he said tiredly.

"As I was saying, I'm still going to have to draw blood. If it's bacterial then it's viral and I'll have to check your blood for different viruses. Now roll up the sleeve," Jackie said watching him.

He shook his head and started coughing. She grabbed at his arm and he stood up pulling it away quickly, she looked at him shocked to see him standing and then his eyes rolled back and he fell back into the wheelchair. Jackie immediately hit the emergency button on the wall and put the stethoscope up his shirt. His heart was beating rapidly, it didn't take long for a team of two men to come up with a stretcher. They easily lifted the House. "Please have him put in room 305, I'll take care of the paper work." Jackie said and the men vanished with House.


	63. Chapter 63: To be or not to be HIV

Wilson stood up as he saw the men with a stretcher go into the room House had been in, when he saw them rolling it out with House on it he ran over. "Where are you taking him? What happened?" Wilson asked with panic in his voice.

Jackie put a hand on his arm, "He's going to be fine Dr. Wilson. He just passed out and they will be putting him in a room. Just wait here while I put in the paperwork and talk to the doctor."

Wilson sighed, "Are you sure he's okay?"

"Dr. Wilson please just try and calm down, take a seat and I'll get with you shortly," she said slowly in a reassuring tone.

Wilson knew she was just doing her job and that if House saw him acting like this he would call him a overly emotional moron. "Okay, yeah... I'll just sit down." He made his way over to the chair and sat down.

Jackie grabbed House's wheelchair and went to the third floor. When she got there she entered in his information and called Dr. Tucker.

"Dr. Tucking speaking," Tucker said on the other line.

"Good morning Dr. Tucker, Dr. House came in for his HIV testing and had a fever of 106.4 and Dr. Wilson had mentioned a cough. Dr. House told me he had bacterial pneumonia and when I tried to get a blood sample he stood up and then passed out. I admitted him and put him in room 305, would you like me to get his temperature down with cold compresses, then to put him on a saline drip with a banana bag until I've run the tests to confirm his diagnoses?" she asked.

"Sure that sounds perfect and Jackie, do keep me informed on him while he's here, although I doubt it'll be for long," Dr. Tucker said.

"Sure thing," Jackie said before hanging up. "Lilly could you come with me," she asked one of the other nurses.

"Yes," Lilly said quickly following Jackie.

Jackie parked the wheelchair in the corner of the room and walked over to House. "Put on gloves and then you can help me get his clothes off. He's running a very high fever so we'll need to put some cold compresses on and then put in an IV with saline and a banana bag." Lilly was quick and they were taking off the shirt when Lilly stopped looking at the bruise on the forearm. Jackie was about to ask her what the hold up was when she saw the bruise and pulled off the other sleeve to see the same kind of bruise. It was clearly in the shape of a hand that have been wrapped forcibly around his forearm. Jackie looked at Lilly, "Let me know if you see any other bruises."

"Yes ma'am," Lilly said continuing. When they got both the shirts off Lilly looked back over to Jackie. "There are more bruises on this side," she said softly.

Jackie walked over and looked at the bruises on his bicep, the bottom of his forearm and along his ribs then swallowed. "Would you grab me out five cold compresses and a blood draw kit?" she asked not taking her eyes off the bruises. Lilly didn't say anything but she was back in about a minute and started getting the compresses cold. Jackie lifted his head and put one under it then used some gauze to keep anther compress in place on the top of his head and put the other three in a line on his torso. Then she started the blood draw and filled two testing tubes, being sure to label them and to tape a piece of cotton over the puncture. She put her hand under the bottom of his back and held it up while Lilly pulled the pants off. The bruises continued on the outer part of the same leg. He'd fallen, and from the looks of it, very hard. Jackie got a hospital gown and covered him with it and then saw the bruise on his calf, which was also caused from a hand.

Lilly took off the shoes and socks then froze as she saw the still healing brands on his feet. "Jackie, you should probably see this."

Jackie walked over and looked, she let her gloved hand glide over the work. "I wonder who did the stitches, they weren't there before. Very good work though," she said admiring it.

Lilly looked at her dumbfounded, "I was talking about the branding, who would do that?"

"You don't want to know," Jackie responded. "What concerns me more is who's been hurting him lately." She said getting the IV needle and poking it in and then connecting it to the tubing which Lilly had already connected to a large bag of saline and a banana bag. Jackie also hooked him up to a monitor that showed his vitals and then put an oxygen mask on him. "I need to take this blood for testing and to talk to someone, while I do that I want you to stay with him. I don't think he'll wake up while I'm gone, but if he does page me, also page me if his vitals decline any. Don't let anyone in here, not other nurses, not someone claiming to be family. If it's not me or Dr. Tucker then don't let them in unless I tell you different."

"Why no other nurses?" Lilly with interest.

Jackie looked at House and then back to Jackie, "I was told that one of the nurses let some private information slip to some of the staff at where he works. I don't want that happening again."

Lilly blinked, "Why would a nurse do that, and how would you know they had?"

Jackie sighed, "Have you ever heard of a Dr. House?" Lilly nodded. "Well, let me formally introduce you. Dr. House this is Lilly, she'll be staying with you while I'm gone. Lilly this is Dr. House."

Lilly looked at the bruised and scared man laying in the bed, "That's the Great Dr. House?"

"Yes," Jackie said pointedly.

"I'm sorry, it's just... he looks so thin and weak. The way people talk about him, you would think he's a huge strong guy who walks around with a limp. How could he be intimidating?" Lilly said motioning to the still body.

Jackie laughed, "That's because you haven't seen him awake yet, believe me, he can be pretty intimidating."

Lilly looked House nervously, "I'll call you if anything happens."

"Good, I shouldn't be gone too long," Jackie said then left.

As soon as Wilson saw Jackie walk into the clinic he stood up and once she got with in ten feet his heart started beating fast with panic. "How is he? Where did you take him? When can I see him?"

Jackie gave him a polite smile, "Dr. Wilson can I speak to you in private?"

Wilson nodded, and then followed Jackie to one of the unoccupied clinic rooms. "Why do you want to talk to me in here, couldn't we talk in his room?"

Jackie turned to look at him and she was no longer smiling. "I don't know if your hospital has a protocol to go by when a patient who is incapable of taking care of themselves come in cover in bruises but we do. I'm not letting you in the room with him until I have heard both of your explanations for his state."

Wilson blinked, "Are you... accusing me of hurting him?"

"I'm telling you that he has several bruises on him and since he was released from this hospital to be under your care I want to know how they got there, along with the new needlework." She said firmly.

"I wouldn't hurt him," Wilson said looking at her stunned she would even consider the idea.

Jackie gave him a false smile, "Great then both of your stories will match up. Now if you don't mind I thought we could start from the top and work our way down. So that means we should start with the bump on his head."

Wilson sighed with frustration, "He fell trying to get in the tub last night. I'm assuming that's when he got the bump, but I'm not sure. He pushed away my hand when I tried to examine him, but then again he fell this morning in his room."

Jackie wrote it down, "You haven't been helping his to get in and out of his wheelchair?"

"No, because until last night and today he'd been doing fine on his own," He answered defensively.

"The bruise on his bicep?" She said looking at him.

Wilson rolled his neck, "House tried to barge into Dr. Cuddy's office when she was in a meeting, so her assistant grabbed him. She's promised me that Nathan has been talked to and it wont happen again."

Jackie nodded as she wrote, "The bruise on his forearms?"

Wilson swallowed, "They were caused by Dr. Ayersman, who is a transplant surgeon at our hospital that House blackmailed three years ago. He decided to take out his vengeance on House when they were both in the elevator. He pinned down his arms and tried to cause him to have a panic attack, that happened Wednesday."

Jackie looked up at Wilson, "And you still thought it was fine to let him keep working?"

"He's been doing better since he started working and if you haven't noticed he can be very stubborn." He said.

"Did he fall on his right side?" Jackie asked.

"Yes, why?" Wilson asked getting irritated.

"Because he has a long bruise from his ribs down to his knee on that side along with under his forearm, I'm assuming those were from the fall too." She said watching him.

Wilson looked down, "Yeah, I have a tile bathroom and he fell hard. I heard him clearly and I was in the kitchen washing dishes."

"There was also a bruise on his calf," Jackie said.

"Yeah well House head butted Ayersman, then Ayersman grabbed House's leg and House kicked the crap out of him." Wilson said looking more worried.

"He's fine at the moment. There were some new stitches on his right foot, did you do them?" She asked.

"New stitches?" It took him a minute to remember that the first night House had come home he'd hopped up the steps on his right foot and caused the already burned flesh to tear. "No, those would be his, they aren't infected are they?"

"No, they are some of the best I've ever seen," she said now putting the paper in her pocket. "Did he tell you he thought he had bacterial pneumonia?"

Wilson paled some as his head shook absently, "No... I noticed he had been coughing the last couple of days but he acted like it was nothing." He ran his hand through his hair, "Why wouldn't he tell me, he knows he might be HIV positive and that something like pneumonia could turn deadly."

"He said he needed to keep working and that he wanted to prove to Cuddy and you that he could do it," Jackie said.

"You know for a fucking genius you would think he would be smarter than that," Wilson said pacing in a small circle.

"He had a fever of 106.4 when he came in. He's in a room with cold compresses on right now and he's hooked up to an IV with saline and a banana bag. I took his blood to get tested so we can get him on the right antibiotics." She said and could see some of the worry leave his face. "He's still out and I usually like to tell the patient first, but since you wont see him until I've talked to him, I guess it can't hurt. The HIV test was negative, of course he still has to do his three months test in six more weeks and his six months test, but it's promising."

Wilson sat down and smiled as he took in some steady breaths, "Thanks... I've been so worried that..." he stopped and rethought, "He can't take anything else right now, he's trying so hard to be strong but I can tell he's barely holding it together."

"I need to go and check on him then I'll come and get you as soon as he wakes up. If he isn't awake by noon then I'll update you on how he's doing, but I think he'll be up soon. I think it was mainly the fever that caused him to pass out and it should be going down fast now." Jackie said then got up, "I hope that House's story is the same as yours Dr. Wilson. I know you care about him and I'm the one who told Dr. Tucker that releasing him in your care would be a good idea," with that she was gone.

Wilson walked back out into the waiting room then sat down in his seat and called Cuddy.

Cuddy looked at the caller ID and sighed, "Tell me you two are about to be here," she said.

"I wish, I don't know when we'll be getting out," Wilson said with worry.

"I thought this was just a check up on his leg, was there something wrong?" Cuddy asked now starting to get concerned.

"Yeah, evidently House didn't think it was important to tell me that he had bacterial pneumonia. He had a fever of 106.4 and ended up passing out during the exam. They have cold compresses on him and are testing his blood to get him on the right antibiotics." Wilson said with frustration.

"God I don't think I've ever known anyone as stubborn as that man. He really does drive me crazy. Did he actually say why he didn't tell anyone?" Cuddy said not really expecting an answer.

"He told Jackie that he didn't want us to think he couldn't handle it," Wilson said feeling guilty.

Cuddy grimaced, "I pushed him too hard, and after I accused him of pretending why would he tell me." She wallowed in her guilt some, "How does he look now? Is his temperature down?"

"I don't know, they wont let me see him," Wilson said with frustration.

"Why?" She asked

"Because while in my care he came back covered in bruises. She's following the hospitals policy, which is to ask me how they got there and then House, if the stories match then everything should be fine." Wilson explained.

Cuddy blinked a little stunned, "She thinks you're abusing him? That's ridiculous and four bruises isn't a ton of bruises!"

Wilson half smiled, it was nice to have someone on his side. "There were more than the four. Last night House fell hard in the bathroom trying to get in the tub, I had to help him get in and out. Then this morning I found him on the floor in his room. I would assume it was muscle weakness from the pneumonia he didn't think to tell me about." He said rubbing his neck.

"Wilson if you knew he was having problems getting in and out of his wheelchair both of you could have taken off today. I would have been glad to give you two the day off." She said surprised he hadn't told her.

"I was just happy he was talking to me this morning, the last thing I wanted to do was start World War III." They both were silent for a moment and he knew the question she was wondering and decided to answer it. "We had an argument last night and I... well I lost control and said some things I really shouldn't have."

Cuddy smiled, "Wilson I'm sure you're making it into something way more than it is."

Wilson swallowed, "No, actually I'm underplaying it. What I said... was unforgivable." He said thinking about it. "What I'm about to tell you goes no farther than you alright?"

"Yeah, of course," she said.

"He was freaking out because I bought him supper and just wouldn't let it go. He kept comparing me to his father, saying I was trying to tell him what and when he could eat. I just got so mad being compared to that son of a … well you know. So I lost it. I yelled at him that if kept comparing to me his deadbeat dad then I would act like him. I told him to go eat outside like the mutt his father treated him like. Then I said... I yelled that if he was good maybe I would beat him and make him sleep outside too."

It had been way worse than Cuddy had thought, she didn't know what to say at first, "What did he say?"

"Nothing, he went silent and... just stared at me with a look that I don't think I'll ever get use to seeing on House. As soon as I calmed down a minute I realized how wrong I had been to say that and I tried to apologize but as soon as I took a step towards him he rolled into his room and locked the door. When he came back out he heated up some of his left overs and started towards the porch, so I stopped him and apologized." Wilson paused as he swallowed, "He wouldn't even look at me. When I was done, he asked about the beating and the outside, like he thought I might actually do that do him. Of course I told him I wouldn't do that and that I had only said it because I hated being compared to John. The only other thing he said the whole night was for me to wear gloves when I was helping him in the bathroom."

Cuddy was both concerned and confused. "I wouldn't say it was unforgivable, but it was a really shitty thing to say to him, especially since you know how private he is about his childhood. I can't believe that bastard wouldn't even let him eat at the same table, no wonder he's so fucked up. But something I don't get, why is he's so insistent that no one touch his skin, like it would mean instant death."

Wilson rolled his lips around thinking of how to answer, "Part of it is on an emotional level and there was that infection on this thigh, which got pretty bad. So he really is trying to make sure he doesn't get anymore infections and then there's the PTSD. It's just a lot of things really."

"Alright, well give me a call after you see him and know more, okay? And... tell him I'm worried about him," She said honestly.

"I'll let him know Cuddy and you'll be my first call after I know more," he said feeling way too tired for 11:30 in the morning.

Jackie was back in Houses room with Dr. Tucker. "He's healing well, as far as the burns and leg is concerned. You said he's already back at work?" Tucker asked.

"Yep, that's where he got most of the bruises, at least that's what Dr. Wilson said." Jackie answered.

Tucker tilted his head, "You don't believe him?"

"I already knew that Dr. House wasn't popular but I never thought that people who worked at a hospital would actually take advantage of his ill state to get revenge." Jackie said taking off the compresses now that his temperature had gotten down to 101.3.

Dr. Tucker put a new medical sponge over the burn on House's thigh, "The cruelty of man is nonparallel to that of any other creature, at least that's what my father taught me. There isn't much that surprises me anymore. I'm more surprised that he was working at a hospital and no one realized he had pneumonia."

"Dr. Wilson noticed, he's the one that told me about the cough." She said then looked at Dr. Tucker, "He has an extreme tolerance to pain and a hate for sympathy, I'm pretty sure he didn't want them to know and did his best to hide it."

"Why would he do that, considering that he is still waiting in limbo to see if he's HIV positive makes it more than a little reckless. He could have died." He looked House over and sighed, "Then again, maybe he doesn't care if he dies. We've seen no real family members, he's not in a relationship, obviously not liked at work, his only friend is constantly nagging him from what I've seen, he already was a cripple. Not really a dream life he was living, and the best he can hope for at the moment is to get back to a life he didn't even seem to like that much vs the one he's living now."

Jackie swallowed as she looked a House, "But, he's so stubborn and strong, I can't really imagine him as the kind of guy that gives up."

Dr. Tucker sighed looking at Jackie, "Even the strongest metals are eroded away over time by a constant stream of water, and humans are by far more fragile even if they try to hide it. There is only so much a man can take, and he already proved that when he signed the DNR." Dr. Tucker said pulling the cover over House. "I have a surgery I need to get ready for, but I want you to ask him if he's suicidal and if he doesn't answer then talk to Dr. Wilson. I would hate to lose one of the best medical minds of our generation because of depression."

Jackie nodded and Dr. Tucker left. It was thirty minutes later when House started to wake up. He did his usual check of the thigh when he realized that the medical sponge was taped differently then he did it. He open his eyes to see the ceiling of the familiar New Jersey Medical Hospital. "So how was your nap?" Jackie asked standing up from the chair and walking over to the bed.

House looked at her and narrowed his eyes, "Don't look so smug, you're the reason I'm in here." He said coughing some.

Jackie raised an eyebrow, "That high fever you had must have done some brain damage, because the reason you're in here is that you allowed your pneumonia to get good and strong before deciding it was time to get rid of it."

House gave a smirk with a small glint in his eyes, "Well lets just see what all I remember. I know I had bacterial pneumonia when I came in and I'm assuming I'm on Roxithromycin because the blood test revealed that H. Influenza was the cause of my pneumonia. I would have been able to explain that to you earlier if you hadn't caused me to over excerpt myself when you tried to force me to do a needless blood test."

Jackie looked irritated, "You could've been wrong."

"But I'm not, funny how ofter that happens isn't it?" House said watching her with a fake smile.

"I see you picked up some color since you left." She said looking at the bruises, "Although I have to say black and blue just aren't your colors."

House put his arms under the covers, "So glad we got this chance to catch up, now if you don't mind I'd like to speak to Wilson." he said sarcastically.

"I'll be glad to go and get him for you as soon as you tell me how you got the bruises." Jackie said crossing her arms.

"Why do you care? Isn't your job to just kiss them and make it better?" House said annoyed and started coughing.

"Because if the person that the hospital released you under the care of is damaging you then we aren't going to let you leave with him or allow him in the room with you." She said firmly.

House's eyes fixed on her in a deadly stare, "He isn't hurting me and I can take care of myself. I don't need or want you looking over my shoulder."

Jackie wished Lilly was here to see exactly what she meant about House being intimidating. "Hospital policy is for me to question him and you separately about how the injuries occurred," she said trying to appear unfazed by his stare.

House raised up to a sitting position gritting his teeth from both the effort of moving his weakened body and out of anger for being questioned. He'd gone through this so much of his life, trip after trip to the base clinics all of them asking him how he'd gotten hurt, why he was so under weight and what the old bruises and scares were from. Every time they all had the same pity-filled eyes and pathetic tone in their voices that Jackie was now mimicking. "I'm not telling you anything besides that Wilson has never hurt me and even if he did I wouldn't tell you because it's none of your fucking business," he said in a low warning voice.

Jackie swallowed, "You have an old skull fracture that says differently. Wilson told me about Amber and the DBS when you first came in and were in the coma. It's not your fault what happened and you don't deserve this."

House's eyes widened some and his nostrils flared as his lips were in a pulled tight on his teeth. "Being a social worker doesn't fit you Jackie. So do us both a favor and stop trying to force us to do something that isn't natural of either of us, because I'm not changing my mind. Now go and get Wilson so I can get the hell out of here."

"Don't you want to know what your test results were?" She asked watching him.

He swallowed, "Either you'll tell me or I'll go somewhere else to get tested, so which is it?"

"It was negative for HIV this time, but that doesn't mean you're in the clear yet," Jackie said.

"Great, now you can go and get Wilson." House said with a grim smile.

Jackie started towards the door and stopped, "Dr. Tucker thinks you're suicidal, it's the only reason he could see as to why you wouldn't get the pneumonia checked out."

House rolled his eyes, "Dr. Tucker is a moron," he said then coughed hard.

She turned to him, "That's not an answer."

"If I wanted to be dead I would be dead, there's your answer." He said watching her.

Jackie nodded and left. She found Wilson sitting in the same spot looking anxious. "He's awake and in room 305."

Wilson stood up, "How's he doing?"

She smiled, "Well it doesn't seem to have slowed him down any, even if it should have. He's wanting to get out of here and go back to work from the sound of it. He really needs to take it easy thought, his immune system is in the gutter."

He looked to be in thought, "Has he official been released yet?"

"No," Jackie said realizing Wilson had some plan.

"Good, then set up a transfer for him to go to PPTH, I'll make sure he gets there and rests weither he likes it or not." Wilson said.

Jackie raised an eyebrow, "I'll set it up but I'm warning you, he's in a mood. It's not going to be easy convincing him to take it easy."

"When's he not?" Wilson said walking off.

When Wilson walked in House had already taken his IV out and was sitting on the side of the bed in a hospital gown testing the ground with his right foot. "And I thought you might be reasonable enough to take it easy."

"They call it walking pneumonia for a reason right?" House said with a half smile still pressing his foot against the ground.

Wilson shook his head, "Yeah why not? I'm surprised you haven't tried it before, get bacterial pneumonia and see if it grants you the ability to walk. Maybe you infected yourself on purpose, it wouldn't surprise me anymore."

House was looking at the floor and licked his lips, "What would you have me do Wilson? Give up, paint my wheelchair with flames and hope to get a cool nickname like Hot Wheels?"

"Verses killing yourself trying? Yeah I'd rather you give up." Wilson said walking over to stand in front of House.

"To quote Mick Jagger, "You can't always get what you want,"" House said looking up and meeting his eyes as he coughed

Wilson let his eyes fall looking House over, "So you plan on wearing the gown out or do you have time to get dressed before we leave?"

"I need to get dressed since I'm going back to work," House said even thought he was suspicious of why Wilson wasn't trying to convince him to stay and rest.

Wilson just let out a sigh and grabbed the bagged cloths on the other nightstand then handed them to him. "So, did you found out the results of the HIV test?" He said turning his back so House could have some privacy.

"Negative," House said getting more curious about Wilson's odd behavior as he got dressed. This wasn't the kind of thing Wilson let go, under any circumstances.

"Good, I called Cuddy told her we would be late," Wilson said.

House got his pants and socks on then threw the gown off as he started putting on the shirts. "So that's it, you aren't going to nag me to death or find some way of punishing me?"

Wilson turned around quickly giving House a daring look, "Would it make a difference if I did House? I mean, it never does, no matter what I do you still keep taking risks without regard to your own health. So what's the point right? You're going to do what you want to do as you've proven to me time and time again, that there isn't anything I can do to stop it. So why should I care? Why should I waste my energy and time.. huh House?"

House looked at him with honest eyes as he finished putting on his over shirt, "I knew I could handle it otherwise I would have told you."

Wilson's shoulders fell as he let out a deep breath, "Yeah, well you were right again. Good for you. And you'll be right, right up until the time your not and then I get to call your mother and tell her you're dead. Of course if you had been HIV positive it could have gone a whole different direction, but once again it's none of my business and I shouldn't care."

House swallowed, "Obviously you're mad, we could talk about it or you can make me clean the house or something."

Wilson scoffed with a smile, "Why House, it won't change anything and I'm tired of repeating myself. Just get ready and we'll go okay." House didn't say anything as he worked his shoes on. "Hey, what's that on your sleeve?"

House looked at it and then immediately continued working on his other shoe, "I coughed up some blood, my throat's pretty raw."

Wilson grabbed up Houses wheelchair and rolled it in front of his bed, "Yeah whatever, are you ready? I've already missed two appointments and if we don't get going I'm going to miss another."

"That sucks, I was hoping to grab a bite to eat on the way back," House said not looking at Wilson.

"Oh are we allow to eat together now? I wasn't sure after the fit you threw last night," Wilson said with attitude.

House looked up at him and thought about explaining Dr. Ryan's theory and why it upset him, but decided against it for the moment. "I was going to offer to buy," he said softly.

Wilson knew that it was House's way of apologizing. "I thought men only bought food for dates, kids, and bum friends?"

House licked his lips, Wilson wasn't nagging, but he wasn't letting this go either. "You buy me meals all the time, I just thought it would be nice to buy you one."

"Since when do you care about being nice?" Wilson said honestly.

House tried to stand to get in the wheelchair but his legs just couldn't hold him and they collapsed uselessly under him. Wilson caught him and tossed him in the wheelchair unceremoniously, and House started coughing hard. Wilson just pushed the wheelchair out of the room and to the vending machine where he got a bottle of water for House. House had stopped coughing and took the bottle of water drinking it quickly. Wilson bought him another and House went through it with almost the same speed. "Why didn't you say something if you were thirsty?"

House looked at him with confusion, as if he didn't know what was the right thing to say. "I'm sorry?" he said hesitantly.

"You done or are you still thirsty?" Wilson asked.

House put his hands on the wheels and looked down, "We can go."

"Great, I'm glad I have your blessing," Wilson said as he walked in front and House wheeled behind him. As soon as they got to the car Wilson opened House's door and grabbed at him.

House pulled back quickly, "No.." he said before he stopped himself.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Don't make this take any longer than it has to House, I've already wasted most of my day because of you."

House swallowed and gritted his teeth as Wilson roughly grabbed under his arm and got him in the seat of the car.

Wilson got in and looked over to House who was staring out the window with his blank features and sad eyes. He felt guilty about the way he was acting, but he was upset at House for not telling him about the pneumonia and if he had been too nice, House would have know Wilson had some sort of punishment already worked out. He couldn't help wonder how House would react once he found out that Wilson wasn't taking him back to the hospital to work, but to be admitted.


	64. Chapter 64: It's not you, it's me

As soon as they entered PPTH Cuddy was there. "I've already got him put in room 224," she said looking at Wilson.

"Gotten who put in room 224?" House asked having a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"You," she answered looking at him. "Pneumonia is contagious House, did you really think I was just going to let roll around here and infect everyone."

House looked up at Wilson, "You knew about this didn't you?"

Wilson didn't feel guilty for doing what was best for him and the hospital, "Actually I'm the one that convinced Jackie to set up the transfer and called Cuddy to get you admitted into a room. You can stay in it and actually try to get better or do something stupid and reckless to get out of it. I've got patients to take care of." He said then walked off toward the stairs.

House watched and the message was clear, 'Don't Follow'. His eyes followed thought until Wilson was out of sight. He felt his wheelchair moving and looked behind him to see Cuddy was pushing him toward the elevators. He sighed as the elevators got closer, "I need to eat with my pills."

Cuddy had barely heard him, his voice was soft and hoarse. She stopped, usually she would think he was just trying to prolong going to the room, but he sounded so weak she didn't think it was the case this time. "I thought you two would pick something up on the way back."

"Wilson needed to get back," House said flatly.

Cuddy frowned, "You two okay?"

"I'm wearing on his last nerve, not too surprising with all the time we've been spending together. I've been told I can be quite a handful." House said looking back at her.

Cuddy gave him a shy smile, "Um yeah, I seem to remember you being more than a handful."

House looked confused for a second and then his eyebrows lifted some as a tired half smile crossed his lips and he looked at the front again. "Almost didn't catch the double innuendo, I must be tired."

"Considering you look half dead, I would say tired is an understatement. Alright I'll take you to the cafeteria and you can get something to take back to your room." Cuddy said as she turned and went to the cafeteria with him.

"I need my back pack," House said.

Cuddy stopped and pulled it off of the handle it was wrapped around. "Here," she said and continued. House opened a pocket and she looked to see him pulling out a wallet from the medical supplies. "What do you want House?"

He looked at the menu, it was always the same but he still looked. "Chicken salad sandwich, fries and fruit salad."

Cuddy looked at him as if he was nuts, "I didn't think you ate healthy food."

"Hey.. I got.. (coughing) fries." House said.

She frowned at him as his face was paler than she remembered a moment ago. She put her hand to his head and felt the heat. "You've still got a pretty bad fever. We need to get you in the bed."

House tried to smile but his face hardly moved, "I always dreamed of hearing you say that."

"You want anything to drink?" Cuddy asked.

"Water... lots of water, like four of those 32 oz bottles," he said looking at the bottles.

Cuddy grabbed them and the cashier rang him up and looked to Cuddy. She did a double take when House's hand came into view with his card. She just starred at him not moving.

"Either swipe the card or I'm leaving with the food and you can pay for it," House said then coughed covering his mouth with his arm. She took it and processed it. Cuddy was handing him the food to put in his lap when she noticed the old blood on one sleeve and new blood on the other. House's eyes followed her and he looked at her, "I didn't get any on you did I?" he said with some worry as his eyes scanned her.

"No, but I really do hope you will actually try to rest," She said wheeling him out of the cafeteria and to the elevators.

"How long did you plan on having me admitted for?" He asked swallowing.

Cuddy pushed him inside the elevator, "I figured you would just be here until Wilson got off."

House chewed on his lips some as he thought about it. When she was rolling him toward his room he finally spoke, "Admit me for the weekend."

She stopped once she was inside the room and by the bed. "That's actually what I should do, but why are you suggesting it?"

"Wilson and I need some time apart, and he won't let me go home, so this is the next best thing." House said looking at her and putting the food on the rolling tray.

Cuddy looked to be thinking about it as she reached toward him to help him up. House pulled back and she stopped as he took off the shirt with the spatters of blood, then nodded to her. She wrapped her arm under his and around his back as she started to pull him up. It wasn't easy for either of them but they got him on the bed and he pulled his legs up individually with his arms. "If I were to admit you for the weekend all you would do is pull one stunt after another and I'd end up having to come in time and time again."

He opened a water and drank most of it and then looked at his legs, "What if I promised you that it wouldn't be that way?"

She sighed, "House, I know you. Even if you mean it now, after twenty-four hours in here you'd stir up trouble just out of boredom."

House put his hand on her covered arm and looked her in the eyes, "I promise I won't, please."

Cuddy hated how honest he's eyes looked, and that please he said at the end in his hoarse voice was pulling at her. She looked away from him trying to think this through. He said please, which was rare coming from House and he did have a medical reason to be admitted. Then again, he was House and loved to cause trouble. "I'll think about it," She said pulling away.

"Lisa," he said in a pleading tone holding her arm.

Cuddy turned to him, "House, whatever you're about to say, just don't."

"He's my only friend, I can't do this without him, and he's going to leave if we don't get a break. Just like Stacy did." He said with worry and hurt.

She shook her head knowing there was no way she could say no to that, "If this blows up in my face House..." she said warningly.

"Thank you," he said seriously watching her.

Cuddy frowned, "If you really mean that then you'll keep your promise and try to rest so you can get better."

"I will, just put Beth as my nurse, she'll give me some space," House said.

"You had better be good," she warned walking away.

He nodded as he pulled his backpack off the wheelchair.

When Wilson finally finished all his paper work it was 5:42. He walked over to Houses office and was surprised to find it locked and empty. He looked to see House's team still in the DDX room. "Hey, do you know where House is?"

"Room 224," Foreman said surprised that Wilson didn't already know.

Wilson looked surprised, "You mean he actually stayed there?"

"Yep," Kutner said looking at Wilson.

Wilson left and walked to the room at a fast pace and opened the door. He saw House laying in the bed watching TV. "What are you doing?"

House muted the TV, "What do you mean?"

"Don't play with me House, I know you. So what's the plan?" Wilson said looking at the IV and the vitals monitor.

House sighed, "No plan, except resting up."

Wilson didn't look like he was buying it, "Fine, then get ready so we can go, I have a date tonight."

"I'm staying here," House said, "you go and have a good weekend."

"Oh... I get it. I got you admitted here so now you're trying to make me feel guilty for doing what was best for you and the hospital. But it isn't going to work House. I don't feel guilty because it was the right thing to do, so get ready and quit playing games." Wilson said pulling the covers back.

House jerked away from him, "I'm not going."

"Dammit House I don't have time for this crap!" Wilson said grabbing his arm and pulling hard.

House held on to the bed turning his head as he started coughing. Wilson watched as some blood appeared on the white pillow case and his grip loosened. House pulled his arm back and wrapping it around him. When House was done coughing he looked back and their eyes met in silence.

Wilson swallowed, "House, I know I was being an ass, but you don't have to do this."

House sighed, "Our friendship matters to me Wilson. You matter. If we don't get a break from one another I might lose that and I can't afford to lose you as a friend."

Wilson's mouth twitch as he tried to decide how to respond, "You're not going to lose that House. I'll always be your friend."

"Stacy use to say she'd always be there too until I got hurt and became a burden. You threw away our friendship just a couple of months ago." House said truthfully. "Wilson... I don't think I can do this or physical therapy again on my own."

Wilson closed his eyes a second and then looked back at House, "You didn't have to the first time, if you'd told me..."

"It's just a weekend at the hospital, and the time will do us both some good. I'm not doing this because I'm mad or don't trust you. I'm doing this because I drive myself crazy and I can see I'm doing it to you too and I want to give you a break to relax and have some fun without worrying." House said hoping he'd understand.

Wilson nodded, "And you don't want me anywhere near your blood."

"There's that too," House said looking at the pillow as he wiped his mouth with a Kleenex and threw it in the trash.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do, because you can come home," Wilson asked knowing that House was right and that the time apart would be good for both of them.

"Yeah I'm sure, but I need my medication and some extra clothes," House said as he pulled the covers back up and shiver ran down his spine.

Wilson looked at the vitals, "You still have a fever," he said looking to House.

"I'll be in the hospital, I'll be fine," House said trying to give him a smile, "besides you have a date."

"And you didn't eat all of your lunch," Wilson pointed out looking at the half a sandwich, a large stack of fries and the kiwi that was left in what must have been in a fresh fruit cup.

House swallowed looking worried as he stared at the remains from lunch, "I... the sandwich was stale and the fries were soggy and no one likes kiwi."

Wilson's eyebrow raised as House swallowed just staring at the food with disappointment. House was actually upset about the left over food and Wilson wasn't sure why. "Hey, I'm not mad, at least you ate something." House nodded avoiding his eyes, which worried Wilson more. "House, if is something wrong you can tell me."

House looked up at him thinking about telling his what the therapist thought his problem was, but he knew it would only make Wilson more hesitant about letting him stay at the hospital for the weekend. "I'm just tired, is all."

Wilson knew that wasn't all that was going on. "You don't have to lie to me."

House looked down, "We can talk about it later."

"Alright," Wilson said happy to at least get House to acknowledge there was something going on and to agree to talk about it, even if it was later. "I'll come by before my date, so I should be here around fifteen till seven, that work?"

"Sounds good," House said grabbing a tissue and coughing some.

"So you aren't mad about me getting you transferred?" Wilson asked.

House shook his head, "No, I need to rest and my team isn't going to be any good to me if they all have pneumonia."

Wilson nodded looking slightly lost as he looked around, "So... I guess I'll see you when I bring the clothes and medication."

"Go Wilson, I'll be fine," House said watching him.

Wilson walked out but still looked back twice. The silence in the car seemed odd on the way home. He looked over at the passenger seat and then decided to turn on some music. It helped and he sang with the radio most of the way home. The silence in his apartment was tantalizing, it seemed to mock his guilt and tease him with the idea of some sort of freedom at the same time. Wilson looked around the place seeing very little of his best friends things. There was the keyboard and a glass out of place, otherwise you wouldn't know anyone else had been staying there for the last four weeks.

He walked over to House's room... he wasn't sure how long he'd thought of the guestroom as House's room, but it just seemed right. He opened the door slowly almost as if he expected House to jump out at him or yell at any moment, but once the door was open nothing happened. He looked in to see the clothes on the floor from this morning and he walked in picking them up to put then in the cloths hamper when an odd smell caught his attention. He looked at the vase with narrowed eyes as he remembered that House had used it a urinal this morning. It was easy to picture House standing over the vase peeing in it just to aggravate him, but he knew that's not how it had happened. Wilson looked at the bed and imagine House falling on the floor then dragging his body over to the vase feeling pain and embarrassment, and then his irritation faded. Wilson decided to clean up the apartment, it would give him something to do and hopefully help take his mind off of House.

"Hey," Wilson said sitting in the chair in House's room.

House opened his eyes and looked at Wilson, "What are you doing here?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"Just came in to drop off your medication and clothes," Wilson said looking at the monitor. "You seem to be doing better."

House took a couple of gulps of water and nodded, "I'm good, I've been getting some rest."

"I noticed," Wilson said with a smile, "and I'm glad, you've been needing it."

House nodded some as his eyelids still looked heavy, "Just put the medicine in the end table drawer and the cloths in the chair."

Wilson wanted to sit around and talk with House but could tell he was tired, plus the whole point of this was to give both of them some time apart. "Okay," he said getting up and putting things where House had instructed, "have some good sleep House." When he looked back at House, he was already asleep again.

"You look a little distracted," Megan said as she let her fingertips run down his hand.

Wilson looked back at her and smiled, "Sorry, it's just been a long day. So did you want to get an appetizer?"

Megan smiled at him, "You already ordered the spinach artichoke dip for our appetizer. You still haven't ordered your meal yet though."

Wilson gave a goofy smile, "You must think I'm nuts."

Megan shook her head and then gave a sympathetic smile, "You're only like this when something has you worried. And usually that something is House, so what's going on with him."

"No," Wilson said shaking his head, "every date we've had I get started talking about House. I promised myself I wouldn't do that to you tonight. Tonight it's just about you and me."

She smiled holding his hand, "It doesn't bother me, he's a part of you Wilson and if he's going to keep distracting you I at least want to know why. Call me curious."

"Have you decided what you would like yet?" Asked the server who had on a fake smile.

"Um, sure I'll have the butterflied pork chop," Wilson said handing the menu the him.

The waiter looked pleased and then looked to the date, "And for you Miss?"

"I'll have the Spicy Seafood pasta," She said with a smile.

"Good choices I'll have those out to you shortly," the server said and left.

Wilson sighed, "He's got pneumonia and decided to stay in the hospital for the weekend to give me a break from him."

"Poor guy can't get a break can he?" Megan said with some concern.

Wilson shook his head, "Nope, of course it wouldn't have gotten as bad as it did if he had told me when he first realized what it was."

"Why didn't he tell you?" she asked tilting her head.

"He didn't want Cuddy or me to think he couldn't handle his first week back, so he pushed through it as long as he could. He passed out today when we were at New Jersey Medical for a follow up appointment. He had a fever of 106.4," he said with a frown.

"Wow, that's crazy. So how were things between him and Cuddy this week? I mean it had to be awkward going back to work and having her as a supervisor after the break-up." Megan said with interest.

Wilson shrugged, "I don't know, he doesn't talk to me about that kind of stuff."

"So... you've got your apartment to yourself for the weekend?" She said with a smile.

Wilson smiled back, "All to myself... I sure wish I had someone that could come over and keep me company."

Megan chuckled, "Well we'll just have to see how the date goes."

Wilson rubbed her hand looking in her eyes, "How are things going so far?"

"Very good Dr. Wilson," she said with a seductive smile.

"You don't have to call me doctor," he said with warm eyes.

She shrugged, "I like the way it sounds," she said biting her lip.

His goofy smile returned, "Really? So you like doctors"

Megan leaned closer, "Not all doctors, but you... yes. You know I've got a nurses uniform at the house, maybe we could play a little pretend. I could play the part of the hot nurse who helps assist the sexy doctor with his endeavors." She said seductively.

Wilson was blushing, "Now that sounds intriguing."

"I'm glad you think so," she said with a smile.

Beth walked to room 224 and opened the door. "What is it Dr. House?" she said.

"I need to go to the restroom," he said watching her. She noticed the filled urinals then walked towards him and he notice she passed on the gloves. "What are you doing? Isn't it policy to wear gloves when touching patients. I have a highly contagious virus which means you should also be wearing a mask."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed a pair of gloves and put them on, showing him her gloved hands then put on a mask, "There, I know how much of a stickler you are about the rules." she said sarcastically.

House scooted to the side of the bed letting his legs hang over, "I can put some weight on the right leg, but the left still is healing, so if you could get on that side." She wrapped her arm behind his back and they stood. He was a little wobbly and was breathing heavily. "Maybe we can make it to the bathroom without the wheelchair," he said looking at her.

"You can hardly stand," Beth said holding on to him.

House looked at the bathroom and back at her, "It's so close."

She looked over at it and sighed, "Fine, but if you can't make it I'm just going to carry you in there."

He looked to be in thought about it, the idea of Nurse Beth carrying his crippled ass to the bathroom was even more degrading than having to be pushed in a wheelchair. He reevaluated the distance and swallowed, "Okay," he agreed looking at the bathroom.

Beth held on to him tight feeling his vertebra against her arm and ribs on her hand. The first step when well, the next one was slower, on the third one he grunted and she looked up to see his face was that of calm determination. "You're doing good, we're going to make it."

House rolled his eyes as he looked at her, "I liked you better when you were truthful and not spitting out sugar coated lies."

She ignored him and they took another step which made him whimper. She could feel his leg shaking under him. "Okay, that's enough for one day, I'll just carry you the rest of the way."

"NO! It's just two, maybe three more steps." he said panting. Beth looked and he was right they were almost there but she didn't think he could make it, considering he was putting almost all of his weight on a leg that couldn't even support half of his weight properly. Then he hopped another step without warning her, "FUCK... oh...," House said loudly then coughed turning his head away from her. She held on to him even tighter as his body shook with pain. All of his weight had been put on his right leg because he hadn't warned her and she hadn't moved with him.

"Are you okay?" she asked worried as she felt his heart beating fast through his ribs.

He stopped and nodded looking at the bathroom with determination, "On three. One, two... three." he said and hopped while she moved with him. "Just one more," he grunted.

Beth looked up to see his usually stone face contorted in pain, something she'd never seen before, "One, two, and three," she said as they moved. He almost fell but grabbed the safety bar by the toilet and forced himself to stay upright.

"Just lift the lid and leave, I can handle this on my own," House said staring at his hands on the bar.

She lifted the lid and walked out, but was glimpsing over to see how he was doing. His pants dropped down and then he turned and fell all at the same time falling on the toilet perfectly, it must have been a practiced move. She was about to turn her head when she noticed huge bandage on his right thigh and then his hand cover it and she looked away.

He watched her turn away after he'd put his hand on the bandage. He was mildly grateful that she hadn't said anything. Even thought he'd rather not have her see it what was behind it, he knew that it was probably going to happen with her being his nurse this weekend. It took him a while since the medicine had made him constipated. When he was done he worked his pants back up while sitting and flushed. "All done," he called.

Beth came in, "I was wondering if you wanted to go ahead and bathe while you were in here or do you want to wait until the morning?"

House looked at the shower thinking about it. "Might as well get that torture over with," he said looking at her.

"Okay," she said, "you can get undressed and I'll get the wheelchair."

"It's only three steps, just help me get there and I'll undress in the shower," he said grabbing the bar with one hand.

"You're going to over do it," Beth said even though she got into position to help him up.

He counted and they got him off the toilet and got him to the shower seat slowly. Once he was there he tossed his clothes around the shower curtain that was pulled too mostly. "Um, I need the medicated lotion and soap for burns and you can bring me a tooth brush with tooth paste."

"You're so needy," she said with mock frustration.

Thirty minutes later House was in his wheelchair with a towel wrapped around his waist. He rolled over to the bed grabbing his backpack and pulling out a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide two large medical sponges and some tape. Beth watched as he pulled the towel back from his right thigh and cleaned the burn wound then bandaged it. When he was done he looked up at her and she averted his eyes, "Anyone else would have pulled out their phone and took a picture."

She looked back at him, "I'm not everyone else."

He nodded and then got some of the clothes out of the bag Wilson had brought him and turned away from her as he worked the clothes on. When he was done she helped him to get on the bed.

"You slept through dinner, what would you like me to get for you?" Beth asked as he got situated in bed.

"I'm not that hungry, don't worry about it," House said turning on the TV.

She left and came back two minutes later with a chocolate Ensure and a ham and cheese sandwich which she put on his tray.

He looked up at her suspiciously, "Why are you being so nice all the sudden?"

Beth shrugged, "You take all the fun out of torturing you when you do it to yourself. Now, eat."

"I'll eat on it later," House said.

"I'm not letting you throw it away House. You need to eat, your bones were almost cutting me, so I'll just sit over here and wait." she said sitting down and watching him.

He rolled his eyes, "Don't you have other patients to annoy?"

"Nope, Dr. Cuddy figured you'd be more than enough to keep me busy this weekend, so I'm all yours." Beth said with a smirk.

House really was starving the small amount of lunch he'd eaten had worn off hours ago, but he was afraid he'd find himself unable to finish the food. "Yea for me," he said sarcastically and unwrapped the sandwich, which he ended up eating quickly along with the Ensure. "You can go now," he said.

She got up looking pretty satisfied and left.

He opened the drawer on the end table and pulled out the bag of medicine getting out his night time pills then putting the bag back up. He took them two at a time with water since his throat was already sore enough then drank the rest of his third 32 oz. bottle for the day. He looked over to the restroom and smiled, he'd walked it, which meant that with enough determination he might walk again, although he was glad he had some urinals so it wouldn't be anytime tonight.


	65. Chapter 65: Beth meets House?

Wilson woke up to something tickling his nose and opened his eyes to see auburn hair scattered all over the other pillow and part of his. He smiled as he took a breath and smelled her floral shampoo. He slowly scooted out of the bed so he wouldn't disturb her and then grabbed a pair of pajama pants. He went to the restroom and walked out to see his doctors jacket thrown across the couch and chuckled as he picked it up and hung it up on the coat rack. Then he started getting out ingredients to make his macadamia nuts pancakes.

House woke up coughing and rolled on his side grabbing a tissue to cover his mouth with. When he was done he looked to see some yellow phlegm but no blood, which was good. The TV was still on from last night which he turned off grabbing a urinal and doing his morning business. Then he used some of the hand sanitizer on the end table to clean his hands after closing the urinal.

He looked again to the restroom thinking about what all he needed to do if he wanted to make the physical therapy as easy as it could be. Getting his upper body in shape would help a lot, he'd have to be carrying most of his body weight with his arms, until his left leg had healed and built back up the muscle it had lost form not moving. The hospital had a physical therapy gym which was completely unused on the weekends, it really would be a perfect opportunity if he could get Beth on board.

He moved his bed to almost a sitting position and pressed the call button, a minute later Beth was walking in the door and looked him over, "You look better today, you only look half dead."

House smiled charmingly like he used to do, "Bethany, you know why I like you? It's because you actually care about your job, you want to do what's best for your patients."

She looked around as if someone was about to jump out and scare her then narrowed her eyes, "What are you up to House?"

He let the smile go but kept his eyes on hers, "If I every want to limp these halls again I'm going to have to build up my arms and torso just to make it through the physical therapy. There is a perfectly good gym in his hospital not being used by anyone this weekend where I could get a head start, if you'll help me."

Beth looked to be thinking it over some then sighed, "No, you need to rest and eat House, not a work out." she said even thought she looked like she'd wanted to help.

House contorted his lips as he thought about what she said, "For ever hour you let me work out, I'll eat a meal."

She raised an eyebrow, "That's the dumbest kind of blackmail I've ever heard. If I refuse to take you to work out you starve, not me."

"I can go without food and hardly think about, but seeing me not eat will bother you, because you care about patient care," he said watching her. "Plus you want to take me to the gym, the only reason you said no was because you're afraid I'll pull something and you'll get in trouble, this way you can say I blackmailed you."

Beth shook her head, "The reason Cuddy assigned me to you is because she knew I wouldn't fall for your plans."

"Actually the reason she assigned you to me, is that I asked for you." House said stone faced.

She laughed, "Oh yeah, I can just see that."

"Ask her yourself, you can even use my phone," House said tossing it to the foot of the bed which was next to her.

Beth looked at him and the phone, "Why would you request me?"

"I know I give you a lot of hell..." he started.

"Twenty-four seven House," she said watching him.

House didn't look away, "You ever wonder why I talk to you at all? Out of everyone that works at this hospital I only speak to ten people. My team, my former team, Wilson, Cuddy, the Pharmacist, and You. I don't waste time talking to people I don't respect. Think of me harassing you as my way of being friendly."

Beth raised an eyebrow smiling, "If that was true then I'd think you were in love with Dr. Cuddy with all the hell you give that woman."

He stared at her for a second wondering if Cuddy had told her, then looked away giving a fake laugh, "I don't date succubuses."

The hesitation before looking away wasn't like House and her mouth dropped, "Oh my god, what are you thinking, she'd never date you."

He looked back up at her with irritation, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm serious House," Beth said.

House ground his teeth some, "And what do you mean she'd never date me?"

She laughed, "For one she works with you and second you're... well you."

He swallowed looking down, "Oh I get it, she's better than me. Did you really think I needed you to tell me that?"

Beth's smile faded, "You're a great doctor, but you're cold and..."

"I get it, alright? You don't have to worry about it, I'm not planning on trying anything with her. You're the one that got it in your head that I liked her." House said a little to defensively.

She swallowed, "Dr. Cuddy has a child now too..."

"Will you just shut up about Cuddy?" He said looking at her with some hurt that he mask as anger. "I know I'd suck as a father, I don't need to hear it from you!"

"You need to calm down, your heart rate is way to high," she said looking at the monitor and his shaking hands. House closed his eyes and took one calming breath and looked back at the monitor that now was reading normal. Beth looked at the monitor and back at him, "How did you do that?"

"Lots of practice," he said.

She emptied and washed the urinal putting them back on the other end table. "For every meal you eat I'll let you work out one hour."

House glanced at her, "That's what I said."

"No, what you said was for every hour I let you work out, that you would eat a meal, which means you work out then eat. What I'm saying is for ever meal you eat, I'll let you work out an hour, it's the best I'm going to do." Beth said with a smirk.

House smiled at how she'd worked that out, "Deal."

"Great, your breakfast should be up soon," She said then looked around and the empty water bottles. "If you want I could fill these up at the nurses station, we have a filter."

"That would be good," he said and turned on the TV.

She glanced over at him as she collected the bottles and then left. Who would have thought he'd have a thing for Cuddy, she thought.

Wilson jumped slightly when he felt something on his back, then looked back to see Megan smiling wearing his dress shirt. "Darn, I was hoping to bring you breakfast in bed."

She giggled as she wrapped her arms around him looking over his shoulder at the bacon he was cooking. "I thought you were Jewish?"

"I never said I was a good Jew," Wilson said giving her a kiss on the cheek and then flipping a pancake in the back pan.

"Hm.. so you're telling me you have a naughty side, I think I could learn to live with that," Megan said still smiling. "If you want I could go back and pretend to be sleeping, so you could wake me up with breakfast."

He smiled, "No, this way there wont be crumbs in the bed. The coffee is there if you want some and the creamer is in the refrigerator, it's hazelnut."

"Thank you," she said grabbing a red mug.

"No... sorry, um.. that's Houses," Wilson said then shook his head, "never mind, you can use it. It's not like he'll be home before it gets washed again."

Megan looked at the mug with interest, "Legal speed?" she read with confusion.

"Yeah, it's supposed to be a joke that coffee is the legal equivalent to speed," Wilson said.

"That's actually pretty funny," she said putting it back up and grabbing a green mug then making her coffee up. "Mm, there's something that's so good about coffee in the morning."

"You think the coffee's good? You haven't tried my macadamia nut pancakes, now those are good," He said taking out the pancake and then putting the bacon on a plate with paper towels.

Megan ran a hand through his hair ruffling it, "So you're a doctor by day and chef by night?"

"You tell me," Wilson said handing her a fixed plate. She sat down with the plate and silverware and he sat his plate across from hers grabbing a glass miniature pitcher from the microwave filled with warm maple syrup. Then he got out the butter with a butter knife and sat down.

She fixed up her pancakes with some butter and warm syrup and tried a bite. "Mm, they're good."

"Good," Wilson said with some disappointment.

Megan smiled, "I like them, it's just I'm more of a chocolate chip pancakes person. Don't give me that pout."

He pulled in his bottom lip in some, "It's just that everyone loves my macadamia nut pancakes."

Her eyebrow raised, "Everyone? How many people are you feeding in the morning?"

Wilson suddenly realized how that sounded, "Well by everyone I'm talking about my last girlfriend and House."

Megan sighed, "They are really good, it's just not my favorite. You wanted the truth right?"

"Yeah," he said giving her a half smile and then chuckled at her question.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"You just reminded me of House. He's always telling the harsh truth and preaching about how everyone lies and how people really don't want the truth." Wilson said looking at her.

"Well I've got more truth for you. I was wanting to take a hot shower after breakfast with you, how does that sound?" Megan said with a smirk.

He smiled, "Sounds like I should eat faster."

House looked at the tray of food, at least PPTH's food wasn't nearly as bad as NJM. There were two pieces toast, a sausage patty, some "eggs", and a bowl of oatmeal served with coffee and orange juice. He glance over to see Beth take a seat and watch him. It was a lot of food for breakfast which he usually skipped or didn't eat much, but if he didn't tackle it then he wouldn't get to work out his first hour. So he stacked up the toast, eggs and sausage to make a sandwich and started eating. The sandwich was cold and didn't taste good, but it was manageable, then he tried the oatmeal the texture was disgusting because it was over cooked. He fixed his coffee and forced himself to take a bite of oatmeal between each drink of coffee, then once he was done he downed the orange juice hitting the plastic cup against the tray. "Done," he said with a smirk.

Beth walked over and looked at the tray that was now empty. "You know you don't score extra points for eating it in under five minutes right?"

"But the quicker I eat the quicker I get to the gym," he retorted with a smirk as he slid to the side of the bed.

"We're not going yet," she said getting his tray.

"Hey I kept up my end of the deal and now you're just going to bail on your end?" House said with accusing eyes.

Beth frowned, "I'm not bailing. You just ate and in thirty minutes when your stomach will be calmer we'll go."

House quickly pulled himself back in the bed and far from her side with the covers over him. "Sure we will," he said with betrayed eyes then turned his back to her.

She wasn't sure if it was a trick to get her to let him go now or him really believing that she had lied to him. Either way the only good way to handle it was to just come back in thirty minutes like she had said she would. "I'll be back in half an hour."

The time seemed to pass extra slowly as she sat at the nurses station watching the clock. He hadn't even acknowledged that she had said anything before she left and where she usually would have been grateful for that, today it stung. House had talked more personally to her than ever before. She could tell he was serious when he said he respected her, and out of all others he requested her to be his nurse. She looked back at the clock and sighed as the seconds seemed like minutes. House actually liked Cuddy, Beth had never expected that but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense, like a boy pulling a girls pigtails. Plus yesterday they had their little victory together when he walked with her assistance to the bathroom and he'd even trusted her enough to let her see his scar. Beth started pacing as she looked at the clock which seemed to have stopped. Here she was, finally starting to understand how the man operates and actually seeing some sort of human under the tough exterior and then he pulls away because of thirty minutes. She almost left then, but it had only been 18 minutes and she knew if she left that early he would realize that he actually had some power over her. She sat down then remembered how he'd vomited and then been so scared he'd actually used the broom as a warning weapon. Cuddy said he'd barely made it and Beth couldn't help but wonder exactly how close of a call it was. She jumped up as soon as the clock hit 27 minutes, it would take three minutes to get him in the chair, to the gym and on the first pieces of equipment he wanted to use. "You ready?" she asked as soon as she got through the door.

House turned over giving her a suspicious look, "It's only been 27 minutes."

"And it'll take about three minutes to get you in the wheelchair, then to the gym and one the first pieces of equipment," Beth said quickly. He kept his features emotionless as he nodded scooting to the edge of the bed, watching her hands more closely than usual, which she noticed.

"Put on gloves," he demanded as she walked closer.

Beth stopped and put the gloves on then continued. She did her count and they both moved together getting him into the wheelchair. She rolled him wondering if he was going to talk to her again. "The reason I wanted you to wait..."

"Don't do that. You didn't want me to wait, because that would imply that I actually had a choice about it, but I didn't. You MADE me wait and I know why. It's simple really. You made me wait because you can. You, Cuddy and Wilson are just loving this because now I have no control and each of you hold the power to make me do pretty much anything you want." House said coldly cutting her off not even glancing at her.

Beth swallowed, it hadn't even crossed her mind that he might see it that way. "I wasn't trying to control you. Dr. Wilson said you'd had a hard time keeping down food and after helping you yesterday I realized that you can't afford to lose anymore weight."

"God, what's the big deal! So I lost some weight, I'm fine." He said with irritation looking at her.

"You're emaciated House, that isn't fine," she said with worry.

House rolled his eyes, "Believe me, I've been a lot thinner than I am now and I functioned."

"How much thinner could you have been?" Beth said not able to imagine him thinner.

"It's none of your damn business," He said looking as they got to the gym.

Beth thought about it a second then scoffed, "That's what I figured," she said opening the door.

House glanced at her, "You think I'm lying?" he said with daggered eyes. It had worked and even though she was jumping up and down with joy inside, she just shrugged giving him a challenging look. He couldn't just walk away from a challenge. "I was 117 pounds and only an inch shorter, you think seeing my ribs or vertebra is bad? When I was that thin you could see almost every bone in my foot, when I sat down it was bones against whatever I was sitting on. So compared to those times I'm fat now."

"Now you're just exaggerating, you wouldn't have be able to do anything at that weight, your organs would shut down." She said honestly not believing him.

"So I'd faint every now and again. The teacher would jus..." He shut up as he realized he'd said teacher, which gave away that he was in school when he was that thin.

Beth had caught it and her eyes widened as her heart dropped, he'd just been a child when he was starved almost to death. Her lips moves uselessly as she tried to figure out what to say.

House glanced at her, seeing pity and looked at the machines, "I'll start with abdominal curls," he said looking at the machine.

She looked at it and rolled him over to the it then helped him onto the machine silently. He adjusted the weight and started working out with stone cold features refusing to meet her eyes. She swallowed, "I'm sorry," Beth said softly.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, just forget I said anything," he said quickly as he continued focusing on his workout.

Beth wished it was that easy, something like that was unforgettable, but she nodded for his sake and tried to focus on his exercise. "You'll get more out of the workout if you go slowly," she said.

House nodded and moved with smooth slow motions, on his tenth set of ten he increased the weight and pushed himself fairly hard. He took a deep breath calming his heart rate, "Now the rowing machine," he said.

That's how the whole hour passed, short sentences and counting was all they said and he got a really good workout in. When it was over she rolled him to his room and they got him in the bed. He sprawled out on top of the covers taking off his shirt which he hung on the rails of his bed to dry as he let the cool air blow against him. Beth looked at the scars on his torso and for the first time wondered where they had come from, did they come from the same person who starved him. He coughed some then drank some of his water and looked more peaceful than Beth had seen him since he came back to work. "I'll bring in your lunch at 12:30," she said and walked out.

House watched and as soon as she was out of sight he grabbed his medicine out the drawer in the end table and took his morning meds he'd forgotten about, then put them back up. It had felt good to physically challenge himself, like he'd accomplished something.

Megan was sitting on the couch reading the paper while Wilson had stolen the word puzzle out of the paper. "Whats an eleven letter word for a pessimist who doubts the love of mankind?"

"Misanthrope," she said after a minute.

Wilson wrote it in and sighed putting down the paper, "I'm sorry you fell in the shower, it was all my fault."

She laughed, "I'm fine, god you really are a worrier aren't you?"

"It sounded like it hurt," he said.

"I never remember claiming it felt good, but I'm fine," Megan said scooting next to him and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Wilson frowned, "It's boring here, isn't it? You have to be bored. We should get out and do something."

She chuckled letting her head rest against his chest, "Wow you really do worry all the time."

He half-smiled, "Not all the time, just most of the time." He could feel her laugh more against him and ran his hand through her hair, "I just want you to have a fun time this weekend. You've helped me so much with all that's been going on, and I want this weekend to be perfect for you."

Megan looked up at him with caring eyes, "I'm with you for a whole weekend, it doesn't get better than that."

Wilson's goofy smile was planted on his face, "You know talk like that could make me egotistical."

"Oh... after the pancake incident I would say you were already egotistical," she said with a smirk giving him a playful pat against his chest.

"Well I've lived with House, what do you expect. I still think we should get out and do something." He said letting his hands wrap around her.

"What did you have in mind?" She asked.

"I'm up for anything you want to do," Wilson said pulling her closer to him.

"You sure about that?" Megan said with a mischievous smirk. He nodded and she thought about it for a minute. "Fine, how about we go shopping at the mall."

"Good, I needed to get some more shirts and ties," he said looking pleased.

"A man that likes to shop and has a man living with him, should I see this as a warning sign?" She said giggling.

"Hey, he's the one that's obsessed with shoes," Wilson said jokingly.

Megan fake pouted, "Hm, that sounds like you are avoiding the question doctor."

Wilson wasn't sure if she was completely joking, his last two wives had accused him of the same thing and they had been serious. "Listen we're just friends and he's going through a rough time right now. He's not going to be living with me forever, but... he's my best friend and ..."

She cut him off, "Hey, I just joking with you. I'm glad he has you and I don't want to ever get in between your friendship with him. I would actually like to spend sometime with him every now and then so I could get to know him better. I know he's a permanent part of your life and I admire that."

He was surprised, "Really? You really want to get to know him better?"

Megan looked a little embarrassed, "Of course I do, he's your best friend and I really really like you James. I've thought about asking before, but I was afraid you'd think it was weird or that I was trying to smoother you or something."

Wilson's eyes watered some, none of his past relationships had ever been welcoming to House. "No, I think it's wonderful. House can be a handful at times but I love him like family and he'd do absolutely anything for me."

She looked at him with warm eyes, "I'm so glad you have a friendship like that in your life. I don't know why you would think I wouldn't want you to have that?"

He sighed, "My past wives and girlfriends have always been jealous of my relationship with House. They thought that when he called me it just to pull me away from them so I would ignore him a lot when I was in relationships but even seeing him once a week annoyed them. It caused me to recent them and to hurt House."

She hugged him, "I don't want you to recent me James or hurt him, he's been through enough."

Wilson pulled her tight, "You don't the half of it," he whispered. "We should go," he said loosening his grip and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

She pulled back, "You give slobbery Yankee dimes."

He chuckled, "House calls them the same thing."

She raised an eyebrow, "You give him Yankee dimes?"

Wilson blushed as he thought about how that had sounded, "No... no, Cuddy kissed him on the forehead and he called it a Yankee dime too."

"You're cute when you get embarrassed. Let's go, I need a new pair of high heels." Megan said standing up.

Beth walked in with his lunch tray but House was asleep. She put the food on his tray and noticed he was moving some and making some noises. She was about to touch him on the leg to wake him up when he shot up in a sitting position taking desperate breaths. His eyes had the same fear in them that she'd seen Wednesday and then in a blink it was gone and his usual hardened features returned.

"What, you didn't have anything better to do than watch me sleep?" he asked flatly.

"I was just about to wake you up. It's lunch time." Beth said studying his face for any trace of the fear that was there just a moment ago, but it was completely gone.

House raised an eyebrow, "The whole staring in my eyes thing could be considered sexually harassment, you know that right?"

She pulled back, "You're trying to lecture me on sexual harassment?"

He tried to look serious, "I understand it can get lonely working all those hours but... Beth I just don't think I'm the one for you." he said barely containing a grin.

Beth laughed, "Really? But I was sure you were the one."

He chuckled then looked down at his tray and started eating. It wasn't all that good but he woofed it down quickly thinking about his workout.

"If your still hungry I could bring you something else," she said taking the empty tray.

"No, I wouldn't have eaten half of that if it wasn't part of the deal," House said raising the back of the bed and turning on the TV.

Beth was happy he was eating more because of the deal and looked at the TV to see Medical Mysteries coming on. "Why am I not surprised?" she said shaking her head, "I'll be back in thirty minutes."

When she returned House was pulling on his shirt already sitting on the side of the bed. "I don't think I've ever had a patient that looked forward to physical therapy as much as you do."

"Yeah well I'm tired of feeling and being weak. I just want to be able to get out of this damn wheelchair and use crutches or something to actually help build my muscles back so that someday maybe I'll be able to get by with a cane again." House's mouth twitched some and then he half-smiled and looked at her, "I never really thought I'd be trying so hard just to be able to limp again."

Beth put on some gloves, "You never appreciate what you have until it's gone, right?" He didn't say anything to that and they went to the gym. House did another hour of upper body weight lifting and by the end of it he was whistling. Beth thought about saying something but knew it would only make him stop so she silently pushed him back in his room and to the bed.

"I needed to go to the restroom," he said.

She rolled him close to the toilet, "One, two and three," she said and they got him standing.

He grabbed the safety rail and looked over his shoulder at her, "I'll be fine."

"Alright, just let me know when you're done," Beth said and walked out.

House did his business and was glad he'd requested her. Beth gave him more space than most of the nurses would and didn't ask too many questions. He got his pants up and flushed, "I'm done," he said and she came back in getting him into the wheelchair and then helping him on the bed. "Thanks," he said and Beth looked at him surprised. "You could have made this a lot harder than it's been," House said somewhat mumbled.

She gave him a smile, "You're welcome. You know, I've actually enjoyed it for the most part."

"Beth, you've got a call on line three," a red headed nurse said at the open door and then walked off.

Beth left and closed the door behind her, "Hello, this is Beth." she said grabbing up the phone.

Cuddy smiled, "It' Cuddy, I just wanted to call and get an update."

Beth looked around at the other nurse, "Sure, let me just put you on hold for a second."

"That's fine," Cuddy said understanding that Beth was trying to keep their talk private.

Beth put her on hold and walked into the office which was open and empty. She closed the door and sat down at the desk then answered the phone again, "Sorry I was at nurses station. He's been on good behavior surprisingly."

"Well... that's good, right? Has he been eating?" Cuddy asked sitting in the rocking chair that was facing Rachael's crib.

Beth knew that Cuddy would find out about the deal at some point and sighed, "There's something I should tell you. House and me made a deal. For every meal he eats, I take him to physical therapy gym and let him workout some. He's been cleaning every tray and I think the workout is really doing him some good, he was whistling today after."

Cuddy thought about it, "I'm glad he's eating but make sure he doesn't over do it. How's the pneumonia?"

"He seems to be making a good recovery. He's drinking plenty of fluids and I'll count his pills after he eats dinner to make sure he's been taking them properly, and he sounds a lot better. He's hardly coughing anymore and there hasn't been any blood when he coughs since yesterday." She said.

"I was expecting that I would call you and you'd be pissed and flustered from having to deal with House on your own, but you sound... happy." Cuddy said with a raised eyebrow.

Beth smiled some, "He's been really good. He's even talk to me some, which I didn't expect."

"About what kind's of stuff?" Cuddy said a little nervous.

"Well he said that he requested me, is that true?" Beth asked.

Cuddy nodded, "Yeah, he did."

"He said that he respects me and that when he gives me a hard time it's his way of being friendly. I laughed and told him that as much hell as he gives you he must love you. He clammed up after that for a minute and got defensive whenever I mentioned it. I think he has a crush on you Lisa." Beth said wondering what her response would be.

Cuddy swallowed and tried to decide what to say, "Um... what all did he said exactly?"

Beth noticed that Cuddy didn't sound surprised or try deny that it was possible for House to have feelings for her, which is what she'd expected. "Not much, I told him you wouldn't date him and he denied that he had feelings. Said that he knew you were too good for him and I reminded him that you also had a kid at which time he yelled for me to stop talking about you and that he knew he wasn't father material."

Cuddy was silent as she thought about what she should said. Beth was good at keeping quite about things and Cuddy knew how bad it had hurt House that she hadn't told anyone about them, but at the same time it was over now, so it didn't matter. Well, it wasn't suppose to matter. She still had feelings for him and he had said there was still a chance of them having another shot. He'd said he loved her, that meant something, she was sure of that.

"You knew he liked you?" Beth finally said after several minutes of silence.

Cuddy sighed, it was the perfect time to come clean, "I had my suspicions, don't worry about it though. Could you imagine House and me together, we'd kill each other and I have a kid. House couldn't even take care of himself before this, there's no way he could help me raise a child. That's not even talking about the emotional and mental damage House would inflect on me and my child. I guess this is my fault, I've playfully flirted with him before only jokingly, thinking that he knew that was all it was. I'll tone it down for now on."

"That's probably best. It's weird isn't it? I mean House was with Stacy and then after she left he hasn't even dated, except that forced date with Cameron. House definitely isn't the man for you I get that, but he's a world renown doctor, you would think someone would want to date him or that he'd get lonely." Beth said thinking out loud.

Cuddy knew he was lonely and why he didn't look for anyone, it was one part crippling surgery and part broken heart. "Well that's what hookers are for, right?"

Beth didn't find that funny, "We had a small victory last night. He walked to the restroom with my assistance. It was kind of amazing how hard he pushes himself and after he was smiling... I don't think even realized it." she said. Then bit her lip some, "Lisa... do you know what they did to his thigh? He re-bandaged it last night and the skin... it looked..."

"Burned," Cuddy provided. "If I tell you, this can't go beyond us."

"Of course," Beth said.

Cuddy took a deep breath, "They had him tied down and," she paused wishing there was a better way of saying it, "they um... put a torch to his scar and let it burn away the flesh for a while."

Beth was silent for a minute, "I sort of wish I hadn't asked now. No wonder he's misereable most of the time. I mean with everything that's happen, I guess anyone would be bitter. I don't even think his childhood was good."

"What would make you say that?" Cuddy asked.

"Just... he... he slipped up and said something that gave me the impression," Beth said hesitantly.

Cuddy wrapped her right arm around her while holding the phone close in her left hand, "What did he say?"

Beth wasn't sure if she should say, but Cuddy had explained what had happened to his thigh so it was only fair. "I was giving him hell about his weight and he said he was thinner, that he was only an inch shorter and 117 pounds. I thought he had to be being dramatic and told him that his body wouldn't function if he was that under weight and he said that he'd faint but the teachers would just... and that's when he stopped talking. If teachers were taking care of him when he fainted then he had to be in school, and that would mean his parents starved him. Who starves their own child?"

Cuddy shivered as a cold chill ran through her, "From what I've been told his family wasn't very warm or traditional. If I'd known more about them at the time I wouldn't have helped force him to go to his fathers funeral."

Beth chewed on her lip for a minute, "It's weird. I've gotten to know more about him in one day then I ever knew in the 13 years I've worked with him. I'm still far from completely understanding him, if that is even possible, but I understand him a lot more than I did before."

"Nothing about House is easy. His life hasn't been and he can come off as cold, but he really isn't, just cautious." Cuddy said sadly.

"It kind of makes me feel bad for being a bitch to him at times," Beth said.

"Oh no, don't start treating him differently that's the worst thing you could do. He'll see it as some kind of pitying or sympathetic gesture. He can't stand for people to pity him or be overly sympathetic, he thinks it means people think he's weak or something. So just treat him like you usually do, make jokes and act irritated sometimes even if you're not." Cuddy said adamantly.

"You're right, nothing with House is easy. What you're asking me to do isn't going to be simple or easy." Beth said with a sigh.

"No, it wont be. It never is," Cuddy said. "Rachael is starting to wake up so I'll talk to you later. Give me a call if anything changes."

"Alright, have a good weekend Lisa," Beth said and hung up the phone.


	66. Chapter 66: Songs of Progression

_Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. It took two weeks to write then my computer crashed and I lost it, so then I had to re-write it. Once again I'm sorry about it and plan to try to get up at least a chapter a week now that I'm back on board. Let me know what you think about the chapter. Thanks, Nicole_

Wilson unlocked the door to his apartment and held it open for Megan. Megan started towards the bedroom when she saw him stop and put his new cloths on the coat rack. "You aren't going to put them up in your closet?"

"No, why would I? They still need to be dry cleaned before I can wear them." He explained.

She smiled and headed towards the bedroom, "You do realized that you tried them on in the store and they weren't any cleaner then, than they are now, right?"

Wilson frowned, "And that bothers me, but it was essential because I needed to know they fit since they wont take back merchandise that has already be laundered. Which really doesn't make any since, I mean it's cleaner than it was when they sold it and they act like you destroyed it."

Megan put her clothes up in the closet and slipped off her heels to give her feet a rest, "You know it wouldn't hurt you to go crazy sometime and wear something straight after buying it. You might even like it." She said playfully.

"I don't think so, did I tell you House had a case where two kids almost died because their new clothes had a residue on them and they didn't wash them first." He said feeling that justified his process.

"And you that's why you made the rule about dry cleaning your new clothes before wearing them?" She asked.

Wilson sighed, "No, but it has it's purpose."

Megan smiled again and gave him a kiss, "I'll let you have your delusions James."

"Well how very kind of you, and I'll have to learn to live with the fact that you were clothes that have been tried on by several different people without washing them." He said with a smile.

She looked back as him as she walked into the living room, "You're not going to change my mind, and I think I more than make up for it."

Wilson grinned, "You do," he said giving her a peck and then looking around. "So, how about we stay home and cook something then watch a movie?"

Megan laughed, "So is this a test to see how good I am in the kitchen or you're way of trying to show off you cooking skills again since I wasn't blown away by the pancakes?"

"It's not a test, I just thought it would be fun to cook together, you know throw down some great dishes like on Iron Chef." He said excitedly.

She smiled back even though she wasn't sure what Iron Chef was... maybe they were making oriental food. "Um.. yeah that sounds like fun." She said hoping it sounded convincing. "So you pick the dishes and I pick the movie?"

"Sure," Wilson said, "so which is you're favorite?"

"My favorite what?" Megan said confused.

"Iron Chef," He explained.

She blinked blankly for a moment, "The original one?" She said questionably.

Wilson smiled, "You don't have any idea what Iron Chef is do you?"

"Not a clue," Megan said with a sigh.

He nodded, "It's fine, it's a cooking show where the best cooks in America compete. We'll watch it sometime."

"I don't really cook very much, so might want to pick some easy dishes," She said with a smile as she looked around for a movie

"Easy like sandwiches... or easy like spaghetti?" Wilson said wondering if her thin physique wasn't do to more to her cooking skills than intentional diet.

Megan narrowed her eyes on him, "I'll have you know my first job was at a sandwich shop, so I can make sandwiches just fine. I've made pasta salad once and I in college I almost lived off of ramein, so lets try a pasta dish. If nothing else you might could teach me something."

"Pasta it is," He said with a smirk. "Maybe tomorrow you could make some pancakes, see who's are better."

She walked over to him, "I said I'd had better pancakes, not that I'd made better. Now can I show you the movie I found?"

"Great what did you find," Wilson said looking through his cabinets and getting out ingredients.

Megan bit her lip some, "Greg's Greatest Hits," she said in a pleading sort of way.

He stopped and looked at her and the tape, "Where did you find that?" he asked hoping that she hadn't actually gone in House's room.

She was taken back by the question, "It was in the box beside the TV."

Wilson let out a heavy sigh, "I'm not sure that's the movie for us, I mean it's just some clips of House singing and stuff. You know what I heard was a good movie, The Time Traveler's Wife. I can rent it off the cable, it would be a lot better than that," Wilson said pointing to the DVD.

Megan looked down at the case in her hands, "I want to get to know him better James. You know, do some research kind of like college. You invest in a degree program, in this case that would be you, and then you look at the classes you need to pass in order to get the degree, House would be the classes. Now if you really want to succeed you buy the book for the hard classes a semester before and have them read cover to cover before you even walk in the class room."

He stepped closer to her and rubbed her arms, "It means a lot to me that you want to get to know him better, it really does. But Megan this isn't mine... it's his and it was made... by a woman he once loved. I'm not even sure he's watched this. Even if he had, House is a private person and I don't think he'd want us watching it."

She looked up at him confused, "Why wouldn't he have watched it?"

Wilson's lip twitched some, it was hard to explain without letting out more personal information about House. "He... didn't really know he had it. It was a gift from her he found recently and opened."

Megan gave her best pout, "It's not like this is some documentary of his whole life or holds he darkest secrets James. It's just clips of him singing and maybe I'll learn something from it. Aren't you even the slightest bit interested?"

He sighed, "Of course I'm interested, but... tell you what, I'll think about it some more."

She nodded and put it down, knowing deep down she's already won.

Beth walked in with House's tray when she saw him grab a bag that rattled like pills and quickly put it in the drawer of the end table. She quickened her pace and saw him rake some pills from his table cart and swallow them before she could see exactly what they were. She put his food down on the cart and glared at him, "What was all of that?"

House didn't seem pleased by the question, "Nothing to concern yourself with."

Beth grabbed for the drawer but his hands had been quicker and held it shut. "I need to know what you're taking in case anything happens." She said standing tall.

House narrowed his eyes on her, "If anything happens then you'll have to call Wilson since he's my medical proxy and he knows what medications I'm on. He's the one that brought me the medicine yesterday."

She thought about it and smiled, "And what if we can't reach him?"

"I'll take those odds," House said obviously not backing down.

"Well I'm not," Beth said and used both her hands to push his arm out of the way. She pulled it open and saw the bag with a mixture of prescription and vitamin bottles in it. She was about to get it out when the draw closed hard, barely missing her hand and she saw House stand up in front of the table. At first she was stunned he hadn't been on his feet very much but here he was standing tall without any support though she could tell he was leaning almost all his weight on his right leg. "Get back in bed before you fall!"

He gritted his teeth through the pain, "It's none of your business what I'm on."

She could tell he was in pain as she saw the right leg shake some and his hand joined it to try and stabilize it some. "Sit down you idiot," she said with more concern.

"You sit down over there and then I'll sit down," House bargained even though honestly he wasn't sure how much longer his leg was going to last.

Beth didn't want him falling down and getting hurt, so she backed off and sat down in the chair by the door. House kept his eyes on her as he sat down on the bed and pulled them both back in the bed. He rubbed his right leg some with a grimace. She shook her head, "What the hell were you thinking? What if you'd fallen?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Did you really think I was just going to lay there and let you run right over me? Come on you're smarter than that." He said condescendingly.

"I don't see why you're acting all secretive about this, it's obviously vicodin. You keep the vitamins and one bottle of vicodin and I'll put the others up." She said thinking it was a reasonable request.

House smirked at her, "Maybe I gave you more credit than you deserved. Wilson brought these to me, you think he's going to bring me a bag with bottles of vicodin in it? Now before you answer that I want you to think real hard about this. Wilson's the guy who ratted me out to Tritter for abusing vicodin."

Beth stared him down, one of the few things that really got to her was being called stupid and that's what he was doing. "I'm smart enough to notice that he's still prescribing you vicodin."

He scoffed, "Really? That's news to me because for the last two months I haven't been taking vicodin. I've been taking oxycodone since then, because that's what Dr. Cuddy and Wilson thought was best."

She shook her head, "No, they wouldn't be stupid enough to give you oxycodone not after you almost went to jail because of vicodin."

House smiled, "Go look it up."

Beth rolled her eyes, "I can't, you have to be an administrator or the prescribing doctor to look up that kind of information.

"Use ID number 70342 with password partypants, that's all lower case and no space." He said watching her.

She looked at him and walked out checking the information and came back to see him watching her. "You could have told me that it was Lisa's name I was going under and not yours."

"You should know me better than to think I would give you my password," House said as he started eating. "I wasn't lying though."

Beth sat back down watching him, "No you weren't. So how did you con him in giving you and even more powerful drug then what you were already on?"

He shook his head, "You aren't a good listener are you. I was fine with the vicodin, it was Cuddy and Wilson's idea to get me oxycodone."

"Yeah because that sounds just like both of them," She said glaring at him.

House stopped eating, "Cuddy got it in her head to run some tests on me. When the results came back her and Wilson came to my place with oxycodone and told ME that I should be taking MORE. I told both of them that they were crazy and that I was already an addict and they told me it was oxycodone or a wheelchair. I picked oxycodone." He said with some hostility. "Now that's the truth and you can call up you little gal pal Lisa and ask her about it."

Beth looked confused, "What kind of tests?"

"Pain tests," He said and started eating again.

She looked back at the end table, "If it's not narcotics then why don't you want me seeing what prescriptions you're on?"

House closed his eyes and took a deep breath then looked her in the eyes, "It's private."

Beth shrugged, "Almost every man over the age of 45 is on Viagra it's nothing to be ashamed of."

House half laughed, "I'm not on Viagra and if I was, why would I have Wilson bring it to me while I'm staying here for a weekend. No... I don't need Viagra, but thanks for the vote in confidence there. Let's say... hypothetically, that I had gone through something.. bad... and that I had... to be put on a medication because of those things. And maybe, it wasn't something I wanted to talk about or share with everyone. I mean if that happened, it would make sense that someone might feel... that they might..."

She sighed as it all finally made sense, "Hey it's fine you don't have to explain anything to me. But, just so you know, if hypothetically you were on some psychological drugs to help you deal with what happened, then you wouldn't have anything to be ashamed of."

House gave a small smile, "Hypothetically, that's comforting." He looked back and started eating happy that by some miracle he'd ducted the bullet.

Beth waited until he was finished and then got the tray, "How's the leg?" she asked.

"It'll be fine," he said.

"Good, I'll be back in thirty minutes," she said leaving him. Thirty minutes on the dot she walked in and he was sitting on the edge of the bed. She put on her gloves and pushed the chair back up to the bed. "Looks like you're ready to go again."

House looked up at her, "I was hoping to try on my own," he said looking at the wheelchair.

Beth looked at him and then at the wheelchair, "Only if I hold on to your shirt, if you start to fall I want to be able to stop it."

He nodded and took a couple of deep breaths then stood up and swallowed the pain, as he looked at the chair and swung his body so that he would spin on his left foot. He was surprised he was still standing and the chair was actually behind him, it had worked and as glad as he was, he still had the hardest part left, sitting down. He put his arms out behind him so that once he got low enough he could grab them and started bending his knee slowly. Almost immediately it cramped, it was use to this kind of weight but he kept in control and once his hands felt the arm rests he used his arms to lower himself into the wheelchair.

She was surprised he'd done so well and walked around so she was facing the front to see his eyes closed and his mouth in a painful grimace. She grabbed his wrist to take his heart rate which was very high, "Hey, Dr. House. House are you okay?"

House took some deep breath calming his heart rate, "Yeah, I'm good," he said opening his eye and giving a half smile, "I did it." Even though it had been very painful and what he had done wasn't really epic by most people's standards it was everything to him. It was a promising step towards a piece of the independence that he'd lost and was eager to gain back.

Beth shook her head and smiled at him, "You almost gave me a heart attack," she said and let go of his arm. "You did good, but that looked painful."

House chuckled, "But I did it, and if I did it once, then I can do it again," he said with a glint in his eyes.

She admired him. Beth had worked with thousands, maybe even millions of patients but it was rare for a patient to get past self pity and even more rare for them to have the kind of determination he had. "Looks like you've gotten enough of a workout today, maybe resting would be best."

He gave a full genuine smile, "Progress isn't made by the amount of breaks you take, but the amount of times you push yourself beyond breaks."

Beth nodded, "I wish you had the same kind of commitment to the clinic."

House sighed, "Yeah, well we should probably get going." She followed as he started wheeling himself out. "So, you and Cuddy have a nice chat?" He said trying to sound casual.

Wilson and Megan had just started eating dinner. "Wow... this is amazing." Megan said with a smile.

Wilson shrugged, "It's okay, it would have been a lot better if I'd had some fresh basil instead of having to use jarred pesto."

She looked at him as if he was nuts, "Are you eating the same dish I am, because what I'm eating is perfect."

"It's alright," He said with some disappointment.

Megan smiled, "Well it's enough to convince me that I need to pay more attention to what you're doing in the kitchen. This sauce is one of the best things I've ever had and it didn't take you anytime to whip it up. I'm seriously going to have to watch you closer and take some notes."

Wilson had a hard time believing she was really that blown away by the simple sauce. "Yeah I get it, you don't have to be condescending. I know I'm not a chef, I just hoped you would like it, that's all."

She flinched at his cold words, "How was what I said condescending? I loved the dish, is there something wrong with that?"

"Um... no," He said as he could tell he had been wrong, "I just thought that you might be over playing how much you liked it. You know, trying to make me feel better about you not loving the pancakes."

Megan looked disappointed in Wilson, "I'm not lying about liking this dish, and I don't think that you are so weak that I have to pretend to like what you cook in order to stroke your ego. Why would you think I'm that kind of person?"

Wilson immediately saw a picture of House in his head at the question. House trusted very few people and even of the people he did trust, that trust was limited and living with someone like that meant that some things were bound to rub off on him. "I don't really, I'm sorry. I'm glad you like the sauce so much."

She wasn't happy that he hadn't answered the question, but he did look sincere in his apology and her food was getting cold. She went back to eating her meal and decided it wasn't worth ruining her meal over or their night. Both of them were quite through the rest of the meal. Megan looked over at Wilson when she was finished to see him looking at his phone. "So... did you ever decide if you were going to let us watch House's DVD?"

Wilson put his phone down and looked at her, "I've thought about that a lot actually. I don't think there's a problem with it as long as we are agreed that neither of us ever tell House about it. It's not like he directly told me not to watch it, and I've really been wanting to watch it for a while now."

Megan smiled, "Good, you ready?"

He nodded and they both got up, she sat on the couch while he put the DVD in. He quickly walked back to the couch and sat down beside her and pressed play.

Stacy came on the screen, "Hello Greg, glad you finally opened my present. Hope you like it."

"Who's that?" Megan asked and Wilson paused the DVD.

"That's Stacy, House's ex," He answered quickly.

"Ex wife... or girlfriend?" She asked as he was just about to start up the DVD again.

Wilson laughed, "House hasn't ever been married... that would be like the devil having a kitten."

Megan frowned as Wilson pressed play but then her intrest was brought back to the TV, House was playing and singing _Thank You_ by Led Zeppelin. She smiled as she listened to the music and lyrics that went with it. "Wow... he's really good, what song is this?"

He smiled, "Did you really think someone would make a DVD of someone that sucked? Yeah, his pretty awesome. As far as the song goes, I'm not sure."

She watched as the song ended and House was walking around the back of a curtain. The first thing that surprised her was that... he was walking, no cane, no limp. Then she noticed what he said and looked at Wilson, "Pause," he did and she asked, "What does he mean by pretend God? Is he a Scientology or something?"

"Try Atheist," Wilson said with a smile, "to be honest I'm still wondering how she got him in the church to begin with." He started it back up and took a sip of the wine he'd been drinking when he spit it out as he heard.. and saw... a sight he never believed possible. Gregory House was in fact singing _O Come All Ye Faithful_ in a church. "Oh my God, I... how did she... he's actually singing a hymn... in a.. a church?" He stuttered not quite believing it, even as he watched it.

Megan was also intrigued, "Maybe he wasn't always an Atheist."

He stared at the TV like a bug at a light, "Even if he wasn't, he was one then. I don't see how she could have talked him into doing something like this." He said as the song started to come to a close. He expected that would be the end, but when he saw the lights change and heard House starting to sing another song he was even more confused.

She smiled as _Hallelujah_ started playing and House's baritone voice started singing. "Well, there is good explination that's always answered why men do most things. He obviously loves her."

"Yes he did," Wilson said softly as he smiled at how good House sounded singing the songs. He couldn't help but be a little disappointed to see the screen flicker to the inside of an old building. _House of the Rising Sun_ started playing as House stood up playing a guitar and singing.

Megan noticed that he was at the same place he had been when he sang the first song, "Where is this? It looks like the same place he was at when he sang the first song."

He looked at the place, but it didn't look like any of the bars they had gone to. "Um... I'm not sure. We use to go to a few karaoke bars but I've never been where this is." He said and frowned as he thought about how he hadn't been included in these little adventures, of course they hadn't been as close when House was with Stacy.

"How old is this?" She asked as she watched.

"Well, Stacy and House haven't been together since 1999, so it had to be before then. I'm pretty sure they got together in 94'." He answered interested when the music screen jumped to the same place a different day with two guys also on stage with House. _Sharp Dressed Man_ by ZZ Top was what they started playing and House was dressed up dancing across the stage with a mic.

Megan laughed at the speed that House was flying across the stage as he danced, "He was very... energetic huh?"

Wilson chuckled, "Yeah.. he's always been... about the speed."

She raised an eyebrow, "Speed as in drugs or speed as in fast? Because being on speed could explain this."

He laughed, "I was talking about pace, but I wouldn't be surprised if House had done speed."

"He's not bad, but it's good he's dancing by himself I think he would hurt someone if they were up there with him," She said with a smile. Just as she had said that House did the splits and both her and Wilson cringed as they saw him crawl off the stage.

_Check Yes or No _by George Straight came on and Megan laughed, "He really likes to get into his music doesn't he. It's so corny it cute, look at him all dressed up like a cowboy to sing his country music. You know you never let on that he was such a... well dork."

Wilson laughed, he'd never actually heard someone call House a dork, but he was one. House knew it, Wilson knew it, Stacy knew it, Cuddy knew it and now Megan knew it. "House has always been one for the dramatic and even though he's one of the smartest people I've ever met, he still like the things that kids do. Dressing up, watching big trucks wreck, and even playing video games. I'm pretty sure if I let him, he'd eat candy for breakfast."

She smiled, "Sounds like fun, and by the way, there's nothing wrong with having a snickers bar for breakfast if you're running late. He's not bad with the country, but he forgot the spurs."

He sighed, "Oh it's going to be so hard to not give him hell about this. Damn him, I've finally got some great ammo and now I have to pretend I don't."

"Is he in the shower?" Megan asked no longer listening to Wilson as she heard watched the TV. Wilson looked over to see the outline of House bathing and started to fast forward. "Hey, stop.. I want to see what happens," She protested.

"I'm not going to have us watching a sex tape of House and Stacy, I can't believe you'd want to." Wilson said looking at her as if she was crazy.

"I'm sure she wouldn't have put it in here if it was graphic." She said reasonably, it wasn't long before _Wish You Were Here_ ended with House threatening Stacy as he was wrapped up in a shower curtain laying in the bottom of the tub. "See, I told you." She was slightly surprised when instead of hearing House singing she heard him arguing with Stacy. It seemed to be escalating when she asked Wilson to pause. "She just said that he would do it if Cuddy asked, is she talking about Cuddy the women he was just dating?"

Wilson nodded, "Yeah, House has worked for Cuddy for a long time, but House didn't ever do anything with her when him and Stacy were together. I guess she was just jealous." He said starting back up the DVD. He watched and paused the DVD when Stacy started calling him pathetic. They were both silent for a while.

"She didn't even... deny it when he accused her of sleeping around.. and then SHE slapped HIM?" Megan looked over at Wilson, "Is there something I'm missing here? Why would he stay with someone who was cheating and abusive?"

Wilson licked his lips, "That's a question I've asked myself for years. The only answer I've been able to come up with is the one you had about how she got him to sing in a church. He really did love her."

Megan frowned and Wilson pressed play so they could continue to watch. The argument had been about her wanting him to sing _My Heart Will Go On_ and him not wanting to, so it really surprised her when he not only sung the song, but actually did a beautiful job on it. Most guys would have done a terrible job on it just to get even, but he did. House was becoming more complex the more she watched.

He looked over at Megan, "House... he isn't a simple person. I've been friends with him for around 15 years and there is still stuff I'm learning about him... like what an amazing job he can do sing My Heart Will Go On."

She smiled and leaned against him, "I would never treat you like that."

"I know," Wilson smiled, "just between us, she was kind of a bitch."

Megan laughed and _Nothing Else Matters_ by Metallica was being played by House and the two guys that had played Sharp Dressed Man. "Are those guys friends or maybe his brothers?"

Wilson frowned, "I'm not sure who they are, but he doesn't have any siblings... at least that he's told me about so I'm assuming they are some friends of his."

She had a feeling that Wilson was slightly jealous and found it to be adorable. The two guys were also in the next clip singing and playing _Bohemian Rhapsody_ with House. She looked over to see that Wilson didn't look happy. "Did you two ever sing together?"

He smiled, "Not planned, but there were a couple of times that I was singing karaoke and was so wasted I couldn't even see the screen and House came up on stage with me and helped me through it and to get off the stage." He said then laughed, "Of course I'm not nearly as good as he is, but we still had fun."

Megan snuggled closer to him, "I think it would be fun for us all to go out to a karaoke bar."

Wilson gave her a slight squeeze, "I'd like that, and I might actually be able to get House to agree to that."

When House started singing _How's it going to be_ by Third Eye Blind it made Megan smile, "I wonder who he could be singing that too," she said with a smirk.

Wilson also liked seeing House fight back in his own way against Stacy. "He should have stood up for himself more with her. He's too forgiving and that's not just with her, but with anyone he cares about." He said as he watched the screen flicker, then he saw House laying on a bed and listened to Stacy and him bargaining about something that wasn't explained. He dropped the controller when he saw House start dancing more like a stripper. "Oh shit," Wilson said trying to grab it faster and dropping it two more times. He finally got it at which time he looked up to see the House on the screen molesting himself, he quickly pressed fast forward and looked over to see Megan with blushed cheeks with her head turned away. "I'm sorry... but with House you never know what's coming up next. I'll just get us past this one."

"Thank you... I... just didn't think that someone would actually put that on a DVD." She said as she half laughed. That wasn't the kind of thing you put on a DVD with someone singing, even thought it was kind of funny.

When Wilson started it back up it House was playing _Simple Man_ on a guitar and walking around on the stage. It was good and Wilson finally relaxed back in the couch and Megan snuggled back up to him. They both watched in silence as the clip switched to House talking about losing a patient. "That's when he lost Alba, I remember that," he said softly.

Megan was surprised, "You remember every patient he's lost?"

He looked over at her, "He's only lost 12 patients since I've known him and only 5 of those did he never figure out the reason."

"So when you said that he's the best... you mean he's actually one of the best," She said looking up at him.

"If not the best, House only takes on the hardest cases that everyone else has given up on. At least for the most part... I sometimes talk him into taking cases I can't figure out." Wilson said with a smirk.

Megan smiled, "So you two do have a relationship with perks, he takes your patients and you cook for him."

"Something like that," Wilson said.

"Exactly how many different instruments does he play?" She asked watching his finger dance across the keys as he played _Desperado_.

"Hm... let me think. He plays piano, organ, any guitar, saxophone, harmonica, drums... and I think he can play the violin." He said trying to make sure he didn't forget something.

Megan looked up at him with surprise, "So this friend of yours is one of the best doctors in the world, can play about eight different instruments, and sings like a professional. How is it that he's still single?"

Wilson pouted, "Why, you thinking about leaving me for him?"

"No, it's just you would think he'd have found someone," She said looking back at the screen to see him dancing provocatively to _Pour Some Sugar on Me_ and blushed slightly. "It's not like he's ugly... and I wouldn't think that the cane would bother most women."

Wilson looked to see House grinding against a poll without a shirt on as one of the mysterious guys poured beer on him. "You have to be looking to find someone. House... tries to push women away. He make's lewd jokes or ignores them or say's something that's horrible but true. Ever since Stacy he closed himself off from the dating world... until Cuddy, and then... he was attacked."

Megan swallowed as she looked up to see Wilson watching the TV with a sympathetic look.


	67. Chapter 67: Wilson Pushes Back

_This is a shorter chapter but I'm really excited about it and hope you like it. Let me know what you think. Nicole_

Beth helped House into bed. He'd pushed his arms so hard on the last workout for the day that they shook like jelly at any task. "You might have pushed it too far on the weights, you're going to be feeling that tomorrow." She said with a knowing look.

House shrugged, "That's fine, I plan on working my legs tomorrow anyway."

She looked at him with concern, "Are you sure your legs are ready for that?"

"Only one way to find out right?" He said looking down at them. "There's only one thing I'm sure of, if I don't start getting them moving, then they'll never get back to how they were."

Beth nodded knowing that he was right but still wondered how the next day would play out. "Just... you don't have to push them to the point that you did your arms today. They are still healing."

House grinned, "I don't think I could even if I had planned to." He watched as Beth just stood there, not leaving, but at the same time looking like she didn't know if it was okay if she stayed. He knew she'd been staying there overnights and wondered if that was at Cuddy's request or her own decision. "We could watch a movie," He said and her eyes met his so he looked away, "you know, since were both stuck here with each other." He gave a slight smile as he thought, "It would be kind of funny to freak out the other nurses."

She laughed, "Yeah I think they're already pretty freaked out," she said looking through the halls as the nurses walked by and a couple of them quickly turned around. "Half of them think that you're just waiting for the right time to pull something. Others think that I'm forcing you to workout so much to tire you out so you don't have the energy to do anything."

He looked up at her, "No Florence Nightingale stories of you falling for the patient."

"Nope, they're all keeping it with in the realms of reality," Beth said looking back at him. "So, what kind of movie where you thinking?"

House thought about it some, "I'm not really picky about movies."

"How about SAW IV? My husband refuses to watch it with me," She explained.

He swallowed, "That's the one where people get tied up and tortured, right? Yeah I think I'll pass on that."

Beth watched as he rubbed his wrists and then realized what an idiot she'd been, "Right... hey, you know of any good comedies that are out for rent?"

House smiled, "Blades of Glory, Hot Fuzz, and I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry... but I was planning on watching the last on with Wilson."

"Hot Fuzz it is," she said with certainty and started leaving, but stopped at the door. "Since I haven't eaten yet and I'm having to go out anyway I was going to pick something up. You want some real food too?"

He grabbed his backpack off the floor and check the side pocket to find his wallet, which was empty. "Don't have any cash, so I'll pass."

She raised an eyebrow at him, "I didn't ask if you had money, I asked if you'd like some real food."

House sighed, "I'm guessing Cuddy put you up to this?"

"Up to what?" Beth questioned.

"Buying me food," he answered watching her, it was the only explanation he could come up with her doing something like that for him.

She smiled, "Who said anything about me buying you food? My brother owns a Mexican restaurant, so you have the choice of Mexican food or nothing."

House shrugged, "Sure, pick me up something if you like."

Beth laughed, "I can't believe you actually thought I was going to spend money on you." She said teasing as she left but was happy she was getting him to eat some more.

When she got back it was around 9:30 and she found House absorbed in playing his PSP. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going planning on coming back at all." He said as he grimaced and tilted his head pushing buttons harder.

She rolled her eyes, "I was only gone twenty minutes and you need to turn that thing off. I'm not waiting up all night to watch this movie." She said.

He glanced at her and continued playing his game, "We can't watch anything without a DVD player in here."

Beth narrowed her eyes on him, "Fine I'll get the DVD player, but you better be done with that by the time I get it hooked up to the TV."

He nodded even though he really wasn't listening to what she was saying anymore. When he beat the level he was on he turned off the portable gaming system and looked up to see Beth looking frustrated as she tried to hook up the DVD player. "You need some help," he said with a smirk.

She looked back at him with frustration, "I'll get it," she said looking back at the contraption.

House moved the bed till it had him sitting almost completely straight, "I'm sure you could, but I thought you wanted to watch this movie tonight. Plus the foods getting cold, right?" He said as he moved his legs off the bed with a grin sitting on the edge.

Beth let out a irritated sigh and put on gloves, "That was the plan," she said and helped him into the wheelchair.

He rolled over to look at what she had done, for some reason she'd disconnected the cable and he didn't see an auxiliary cable anywhere. "Okay, well the cable needs to be hooked back to the television set, and since that's way up there you're going to have to do that. There also should be a set of wires that have a white, red and yellow hook up at each end, did you see one of those anywhere?"

"Um... let me go check," She said and left but returned soon with the cord.

House nodded, "Alright I'll hook up the DVD player and you can put the connections in the TV and we should be good."

It didn't take long, and soon they were watching the movie and eating the Mexican food she'd brought. Beth looked over every so often to see House laughing or explaining a joke that she hadn't found as funny as he did, and she got it. This was why Wilson and House were friends, he was actually fun to be around, in a five year old kind of way, but he was fun and his laugh made her laugh even if the joke wasn't funny. When Cuddy had approached her about being House's nurse and making sure he didn't get into trouble she accepted immediately but only because she wanted make sure he got good care. It never occurred to her that she would have fun doing it ,or that she would grow to admire him the way that she did in the short amount of time, or that she would be sad it was coming to an end, yet she was. When the movie was over she threw away their trash and left him with a reluctance sigh. She only had one more day and as much as she wondered what it would bring, she also knew it had to end.

Megan woke up and smiled as she saw Wilson next to her. They had been dating for almost two months but she could tell he was a good guy. She wanted to do something special for him today since the was the last day she was going to be staying over for a while probably. She got up and started making some calls.

Wilson woke up as some light hit him in the face and groaned as he covered his head.

"Get up sleepy head," Megan said looking down at him with an emerald green dress on.

He blinked thinking for a moment that he was imagining it, but she only got clearer. She had fixed her hair wavy like she wore it during the week for work and her legs looked stunning in the high heels and above knee length emerald dress she had bought the day before. He gave her his best pout, "Kisses first."

She smiled and bent down giving him a kiss and he pulled her down into the covers. "James what's gotten into you," She said with frustration.

Wilson could see he'd upset her and sighed, "Nothing," he said and started getting out of the bed.

Megan grabbed his arm before he could stand and he looked back at her, "Hey, it's okay, just tell me."

He gave her a half smile and looked her up and down, "I was in the mood, that's all."

She smiled, "Oh, so I take it you like the dress."

"Very much," Wilson said rubbing her hand.

Megan frowned and flung her hair, "I don't believe you." He looked confused and then she met his eyes. "You'll have to prove it too me."

He wasn't confused anymore as he kissed her. By the time he was done "proving it" to her, he was out of breath and she was climbing off of him. "Now that you've gotten in your morning work out, get dressed James. I made plans for us to have brunch with some friends of mine."

Wilson had hoped on spending the last day snuggled with her in his bed, but he really couldn't say no to her just after having sex. He crawled out of bed and started getting ready.

Beth watch House as he got out of the bed and into his wheelchair waiting to spring into action if he showed even the slightest chance at falling, but he did good and she let out a sigh of relief when he was settled into the wheelchair. "So, was it any better today?"

"Nope, the food sucked just as bad as it did yesterday," House said jokingly and when she didn't laugh he answered her question. "I don't feel as weak as I have been, so yes, it was better."

She nodded, "I'm still surprised you can even move your arms after what you put them through yesterday. I was sure you'd be in too much pain to do anything."

He really didn't feel much pain from his arms, they were slightly sore and stiff but other than that they felt fine. "Sorry to disappoint you. Now lets get going, it's time to get these legs moving."

Beth walked behind him as he rolled to the physical therapy gym. There was a lot of equipment for legs and she looked around anxiously. "So, what did you want to start with?"

House had been thinking about that all morning, "The bicycle." He'd decided that it was the easiest, so even his broken leg would be able to get in some exercise. Once they got him going on it he smiled, it was the most normal he'd felt in over a decade, both of his legs were moving underneath him with ease, there was some slight cramping but nothing bad. He adjusted the resistance on it so that he could feel his muscles have to work some and kept going.

"House, it's time to go," Beth said as she checked her clock to see that it was already five minutes past his hour of work out time. He lowered the resistance and peddled slower as he took in cool breaths of air. She could tell something was going on with him mentally or emotionally, so she decided to give him a couple of minutes before she would push again.

He swallowed as the cool air on his sweaty skin cooled down his warm body from the workout. He'd stayed the whole time on the exercise bike and now it was time to go. He didn't want to go, he felt normal here. He didn't feel cripple or disabled he felt... normal. House looked down at his legs and though he knew that when he got off the machine his legs would hurt and try to buckle under his weight he also knew that there was at least one place he could go now to feel more whole. He looked at Beth and took her gloved hand as he got off the machine. As soon as his left foot touched the ground he remember to shift his weight to the right side. He let out a grunt as he could feel his right legs muscle refusing to hold him and Beth grabbed around his waist getting him to the wheelchair. He was silent as he rolled back to his room.

Beth was worried by his silence and the distant look on his face. "House, you need to get back in bed." she said watching him, but he didn't seem to hear her. "HOUSE!" she said loudly but still she didn't even get a blink. "HOUSE!" she said again grabbing his shoulder.

House looked at her blankly, "What?" he asked.

He didn't seem to have heard anything she'd said, "Um... you need to get in the bed, rest your legs," she said. He looked over at the bed and nodded. She rolled him close and helped him back up. "I'm going to refill your water." She said as she walked out with his water bottles even though he didn't acknowledge what she'd said. When she came back he still looked lost and she put a water bottle on his chest. "Here, drink this. You seem out of it, are you feeling dizzy or anything?"

House drank some of the water, "No, just thinking." he said and then sighed, "Can't wait for lunches workout."

Beth gave him a worried smile, "Yeah, get some rest," she said and left.

Wilson looked around at the table, there were two other couples and two of Megan's single girlfriends sitting around it. They had went on a double date with one of the couples, Jake and Jessica, they were sweet. Jake was an architect and Jessica was the director over the business loans at a big bank. The new couple seemed alright,William and Rachel, they bickered a little but from the sounds of things they had been married for a long time. One of the single women was about the same age as Megan, Trisha, mid thirties, and the other looked to be a bit younger, Olivia, maybe thirty. "Well, this is a surprise, you know Megan she just woke me up and told me to get dressed, but I'm really glad to meet all of you, and see you two again Jake and Jessica."

"So you're a doctor?" Rachel questioned with a polite smile.

"Yes, I'm the head of the Oncology Department at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital," Wilson said with and then gave the waitress his drink order.

"Oh... Cancer... that must be so depressing," Trisha said with a sympathetic look, "I don't see how you do it. I couldn't."

Wilson hated telling people what he did, this was the usual response so it didn't surprise him any. "Cancer treatments have come along way just in the last couple of years. Cancer doesn't equal death anymore like it use too, but I enjoy the job. They're sick just like any other patient and need someone who can talk to them and help them through the process of treatment. None of my patients are blank faces, it's Cindy with the twins and on her second marriage who it planning on opening a flower shop, or Mike who's seven and loves dinosaurs and is excited about the new baby. It's a very rewarding job."

Megan smiled at him and gave him a kiss. Olivia let out a sigh, "Okay, okay, you're right he's pretty much perfect." She said looking at Megan and then looked at Wilson, "Any single doctor friends, I'm tired of going on blind dates to find out that the guy doesn't even have a job."

Wilson smiled politely, "Nope, no one I can think of."

"Wait James, what about House," Megan said excitedly.

"House?" Jessica asked at the name.

"Dr. House, he's works at Princeton Plainsboro with James and their friends." Megan said to Jessica and then gave Wilson's arm a squeeze, "Come on they would be great for each other."

Wilson had to stop this road fast and the only way to do that would be to try and convince Olivia and Megan that the two wouldn't be good for each other because the real reason House wasn't dating was private. "Megan, she wouldn't want to date him. He's twice her age."

"How old is he?" Olivia said with a look of disappointment on her face.

"He's about to turn 50," Wilson said with a smile.

"Oh, that's not old, I'm 40. How old did you think I was?" Olivia asked.

Wilson blinked, "Forty... really. I thought you were late twenties, maybe early thirties."

Olivia smiled and gave Megan a wink, "He's too sweet, what's he doing with you." She said playfully.

Megan laughed, "Hey, I'm not that bad." She said back and looked to Wilson, "James, they would have a blast together, I'm telling you."

"Why does that name sound familiar? Dr. House?" Will said looking at Rachel.

"I promise I'm not crazy... well at least the psycho girlfriend way. I'm not going to stalk him or anything." Olivia said with a pleading look.

Damn this situation Wilson thought looking at Olivia and Megan, "It's not that Olivia really. Megan... he's not ready. He's still got a lot of recovering to do."

Megan sighed, "But wouldn't going on a date make him feel better. I mean the poor guys been through so much lately. We could do it as a double date for karaoke. He needs to get out and have some fun."

"Oh my god! You're right! Dr. House was the guy that kidnapped that actor... oh what was his name? Jason... something. Jason.. ahh it was Jason Lewis on that medical soap opera. Didn't that guy sue him?" Rachel said looking to Wilson.

Wilson cringed as he remember all to well. "House watched the show and had seen some signs of a serious medical issue so he... well kidnapped Jason to run some test. He was right, by the way, he saved the guys life, and he didn't get sued... that time."

"Whoa, you said he was still recovering for something. What happened to him?" Olivia asked not looking at all shaken by hearing that his friend had kidnapped an actor.

Wilson hadn't even thought up something to say. He blinked as he looked around to see that the table had quietened at the question and all eyes were on him. He let out a sigh and gave them the almost famous Wilson puppy dog eyes. "He was attacked in his own home."

"That's horrible, I mean being attacked at all is bad, but in your own home? Did he move?" Jessica asked with worry.

"James has let him stay with him while he recovers," Megan answered for him with a smile giving him a soft squeeze.

"You too must be really close friends, how bad was he hurt?" Olivia asked with interest.

Will scoffed, "Olivia, you don't need some guy who can't even defend himself."

Wilson decided to make an executive decision to hate Will. "House can defend himself fine, believe me they were worse off than he was." He said looking at Will with a patronizing smile, even though he didn't completely believe that, but felt better when he saw Rachel give Will a scolding look.

"James has been very secretive about the whole thing. The poor guy's in a wheelchair now, but I don't think that's permanent," Megan said to Olivia.

"In a wheelchair for what?" Trisha asked as she was starting to find the conversation interesting.

"He's leg was broken," Wilson said quickly feeling like this was getting out of hand and wondering how to take the conversation away from House as a potential dating partner for Olivia.

"Then why would they put him in a wheelchair instead of just casting it and having him on crutches." Trisha asked.

"Trisha's a nurse," Megan told Wilson.

Wilson gave her a smile as he secretly wished that she and everyone else would just leave it alone. "He already had a prior condition that made walking hard for him."

"He used a cane before," Megan said in a sympathetic voice.

"Why did he use a cane?" Rachel asked.

Wilson had enough, "It's not something I feel comfortable sharing. It's his story and it's very personal."

Rachel pulled back some, "Sorry," she said softly.

Wilson looked around to notice everyone giving him disappointed looks. The best he could guess they thought he'd been rude by not answering the extremely personal question that person he just met fifteen minutes ago asked about his best friend. As much as he didn't care what they thought he knew all to well that he'd have to fix this for Megan's sake. "I'm sorry Rachel, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I know you were just curious." He said and then swallowed as he saw all eyes on him, "House... he's not just a friend, he's my best friend, more like family to be honest. His..." Wilson hated to say the word but there wasn't really any other way of putting it, "handicap changed his life dramaticly and he asked me not to tell the story. He said if anyone wanted to know they could ask him and I try to respect that."

Rachel gave him an understanding smile, "I'm the one who's sorry. That was way too personal of a question to ask and your friend House, he's right."

"Megan, why did you invite him. I mean you were staying at James's this weekend right?" Jessica asked.

Megan looked over to Wilson as if asking if it was okay to answer.

"Dr. House is in the hospital at the moment. He got a bad case of bacterial pneumonia, so I invited Megan to spend the weekend with me." Wilson answered rubbing Megan's back.

Will let out a small chuckle, "Yeah, the guy sounds like a real winner. Don't take this the wrong way, but your friend sounds like a pussy."

"Will!" Rachel said giving him a warning look.

Wilson wished House was here right now and that they both could take Will out in the parking lot and kick his ass. He felt his jaw tension up as the blood flowed to his head as he held himself back from physically attacking the man in front of him. "Greg is a ex-marine you stupid son of a bitch. And the people who attacked him where army soldiers half his age. Greg killed three of them and knocked the third one out with nothing but his bare hands after they literally tortured him for hours. Also him staying at the hospital for his pneumonia wasn't because he couldn't handle going home, it was to give me a break because even with all he's been through he was worried about being a burden on me." He said glaring down at Will and just now realizing that he'd stood up at some point.

Megan looked up at Wilson with tear filled eyes and stood up wrapping her arms around him, "Oh James, I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was something like that."

Will's face had reddened some, "Dude, I said not to take it personally," but his voice was apologetic.

Wilson swallowed, "House has literally put his life on the line for me, it's always personal." He said to Will and then hugged Megan and gave her a kiss on the cheek, "I need to go to the restroom. I'll be right back."

Megan nodded and put a hand on his shoulder, "I'm so sorry for what he said. He's an idiot... are you going to be okay?"

Wilson nodded and left. He went to the restroom and rinsed his face with cold water. He was half surprised that it didn't turn to steam on contact. He took steady breath as he tried to calm down.

"Will's an ass," Jake said as he walked in the restroom looking at Wilson.

Wilson laughed, "Really? I hadn't noticed," he said with gritted teeth and put his wet hand on the back of his neck.

Jake gave Wilson and apologetic smile, "You have no idea how many times I've wanted to kill the guy. I don't see how Rachel can stand it."

Wilson could feel himself finally calming down some, "I should have just blown it off instead of making a scene." He said feeling disappointed in himself and the fact he'd just told a bunch of strangers personal things about House.

Jake smiled, "No you shouldn't have. Someone's needed to put Will in his place for a long time and I'm glad you did. The only reason Will hasn't gotten himself killed yet is because Rachel is such a nice person that no one wants to hurt her feelings. I wish he'd meet someone like your friend, maybe then he'd grow up some."

Wilson smiled, "House is so quick witted he'd have Will to embarrassed to show his face."

Jake laughed, "Now that I wouldn't mind seeing. I just wanted you to know that everyone out there isn't like Will and none of us think what he said was right."

Wilson nodded, "Thanks," he said and took a deep breath, "Well, I guess I should be getting back."

"Yeah, the food was coming out when I left," Jake said following Wilson back to the table.


	68. Chapter 68: No Pain No Gain

House let his hand run over his thigh. He wanted to knead the pain away but he knew with the burn still not completely healed he'd only be rubbing off the skin which he'd already done a couple of times out of habit. He licked his lips then grabbed his pills from the end table and took an extra oxycodone then put them back up. He'd known this would happen eventually but he'd hoped it would start this soon. In order to strengthen the muscle on his legs and to gain more, he was going to have to work them which meant pushing them beyond their comfort zone and meant more pain and spasms. He closed his eyes as he remembered how bad the pain would get during the spasm and wished there was another way, but knew there wasn't.

It wasn't as if the past month living with Wilson had been pain free, there were the burns and his legs would cramp from not being used and from when he stood, but it hadn't been nearly as bad as it had been before. He'd been proud that he'd only been taking two oxycodones a day, one in the morning and at night. He hadn't been popping them every time he felt more pain, he'd just pushed through it, and it had a lot to do with fear. Fear wasn't something House let himself feel very often, he'd been taught to push it aside his whole childhood, but the oxycodone scared him. The shear power of the drug scared him, and what he'd done that cold Christmas night had scared him even more. Vicodin was like a familiar friend and Oxycodone was like some guy who pretends to be your friend that you're always suspicious of.

"It's time for lunch," Beth said as she smiled down at his sleeping form and saw a slit of blue as he opened one of his eyes.

"You love torturing me don't you," he asked as he smelled the waft of the disgusting food.

Her smiled grew, "I don't know what you're talking about. I just want you to eat up all this nutritious food so you can get big and strong."

House sighed and set up looking down at the tray, the only motivation he had to eat it was to workout, which would only cause him more pain, but that was inevitable. He started eating with gusto so that the torture wouldn't last any longer than it had to. "There mommy, I'm all done." House said mockingly.

Beth got up from her seat and walked over to get the tray, "Don't you call me mommy, you're not my child and even if you were I wouldn't claim you." She teased. "You seem to be back to yourself, you were acting out of it, well more than usual, when you got done exercising."

He could tell she was hinting around to see if he'd explain his behavior, and even though he'd always liked Beth and had grown to respect her even more over the weekend, they weren't that close. He'd been emotional after the workout remembering how it use to feel before his leg surgery. He'd thought about tennis, running, lacrosse, and all the other things he'd missed, and because of it he'd felt both blissful and despondent at the same time. Thinking about what he use to be able to do physically wasn't something he didn't do a lot since it didn't change anything and only made him feel weak, but this time he felt hopeful, which concerned him that he'd been spending too much time with Wilson.

She could was disappointed he didn't explain what had been going on but at the same time took the fact that he didn't mock her or tell her it wasn't her business as a testament to his respect for her. "I'll be back in a half hour." She said and started leaving.

"Thanks," House said and Beth looked at him silently and surprised, "You didn't have to take to workout, but... I wanted you to know I appreciate it."

Beth knew that this was probably a once in a lifetime moment and gave him and understanding nod, "You're welcome Dr. House." She said and left. When she came back in she found that House was already in his wheelchair. "Looks like you're ready to workout."

House nodded with a determined look, "Yeah, it's time," he said taking a deep breath.

She raised an eyebrow, "You sure you want to do this?" she said.

"It's not about what I want, it's about what I need to do." He said seriously and noticed the confused look on her face. He chewed on his lip for a moment, "Can I say something and you just think about it as a person talking to a person, rather than a nurse talking to a patient?"

Beth could feel that this was important to House, "You mean, like a friend?" He nodded and she smiled, "Yes... Greg, I can do that." She'd said his first name with hesitation, as she'd only ever heard it used by Stacy.

House was impressed that she'd used his first name, "When I was a kid my dad had certain rules and if you broke the rules you got punished. One of the rules was that I wasn't allowed to climb trees unless he told me too," House scoffed," he didn't want me falling and having to go to the doctor. Well I was eight and walking to class when I saw a young boy laying on the ground under a tree hardly able to breath. I ran over to him and asked what was wrong and he couldn't talk just keep pointing up and I saw a bag in the tree. I knew... I knew I wasn't allowed to but... he kept pointing so I climbed up and got the bag, it had an inhaler in it."

She smiled, "You saved his life."

He nodded, "Yeah. Anyway, the point is that I wasn't allowed to climb trees but I had to that time, it was the right call, even if that meant getting punished or some pain."

"Wait, you saved a boy's life and you still got punished?" Beth said with shock.

House looked at her with confusion, "I broke the rules. I knew when I started climbing the tree I'd be punished, so yeah. I don't see why that's so hard to understand. But back to the point, there are times you have to do what is needed, even if it hurts... even if it hurts a lot. This workout, it's needed."

She looked into his intense blue eyes and felt a chill run down her spin. She'd told him she could talk to him as a friend and not a nurse but she was finding that extremely hard at the moment. She could read behind the lines enough to know two things, what his father had done to him and had hurt which scared her, and that he knew that this workout was going to hurt. As a nurse she was supposed to protect him, as a nurse she knew she shouldn't let him workout, but he'd been honest with her as a friend. "Cuddy's going to be mad and blame me for this, you know that right?" House didn't answer he just looked down. She swallowed, "Of course it's not like she's going to fire me, it would be the first write up in my 20 years working here. If you really think this is necessary I'll take you."

House looked up at her with true gratitude, "It is." He said with confidence.

Beth gave him a smile, "Then what are we waiting for."

He grinned back, "I'm waiting on you," he said rolling out of the room.

She caught up to him quickly. He stayed on the bike the whole time and had put the resistance up one level higher this time then before, but when he was done his jaw was tense and his eyes were cold, sharp and seemed to radiate with strength. Beth caught him as his leg fell from beneath him when he got off and put him in the wheelchair. When she got him back to the room she sighed, "Do you want to try getting in bed?"

House licked his lip, "Can you pick put me in the bed?"

Beth picked him up with gloved hands and placed him on the bed. She started straightening out his legs when she heard him hiss through his teeth and stopped. "Are you okay?"

His eyes were closed, "It's bad... don't... it hurts more when their straight."

Wilson was quiet as he drove to his apartment with Megan in the car. Megan felt horrible about what had happened, she'd planned this to be a fun surprise not the mess it had turned into. "I'm really sorry," she said softly looking at him.

Wilson kept his eyes on the road, "It wasn't your fault." he said.

She straightened out the skirt of her dress for what must have been the 20th time in the past five minutes. "Please talk to me about this James, hell yell at me if that's what you need to do, but don't just act like everything is okay when it clearly isn't."

He let out a sigh, "I don't know what I'm supposed to say here Meg."

Megan swallowed, "Just talk to me about how you feel, there isn't a wrong answer."

Wilson glanced at her, "How I feel. Well, I'm mad at Will. I'm mad at myself for the way I acted and what I said. I feel like a horrible friend because I told things about House that he didn't want told. I feel like a crappy boyfriend because your upset. I feel like I should have done or said something that would have stopped this a head of time."

She frowned, "James this wasn't your fault and when Will said what he did, you just kind of blurted everything out it wasn't as if you planned on saying that. You were just defending him, I'm sure he wouldn't hold that against you. If anything this was my fault, I shouldn't have even brought House up and when I did and you said that he wasn't ready, I should have let it go. You're a great boyfriend and I love you James, the reason I'm upset has nothing to do with you."

He looked over at her a moment and then back at the road, "I love you too... I'm glad you finally said it, I've been wanting to for a while now."

Megan smiled, "So have I, I guess we were both waiting."

Wilson nodded, "Megan I'm afraid he won't be nearly as understanding as you think he'll be."

She gave him a sympathetic smile, "James you were defending him, how can he get mad at you for defending him?"

He sighed, "Because House would have found a way to defend himself without letting all of that slip, or he'd just ignore the guy because he didn't find him worthy of his time."

Megan shook her head, "I don't think so, if he'd heard what Will said in real time he'd have lost his cool too and probably said the same thing. Everyone does things like that, no one can be completely in control of there emotions all the time."

Wilson scoffed, "Yeah you would think that, but House did a pretty good job before this happened and I can already see him going back that way."

She rolled her eyes, "I know you think a lot of House and from the time I met him and what you've said I do to, but he isn't some perfect being. He's just a normal man."

"No he's not, the mans a genius," He said and glanced over to see Megan looking unamused. "I mean it he is an actual genius, he's IQ is a 189, no joke."

Megan frowned, "Okay, maybe he would have handled it better, but you aren't him and if he asks you why you didn't handle it like he would, then just say that."

Wilson parked the car, "I love the way you think Megan, even if I don't think he'll buy it."

She rubbed his arm, "It's all you can do, and who knows, maybe you aren't giving him enough credit."

They both got out and went inside.

Beth had given House his space for a couple of hours after his work out. She'd walk by the room and look in every half hour to see if he seemed to be doing any better, but with him she really couldn't tell. At three she finally decided to go in and see how he was. "How's the pain?"

House's eyes were cold on hers even though he looked relaxed, "It is what it is, nothing more nothing less."

She rolled her eyes, "That doesn't tell me anything, what level of pain are you at?" She asked with worry as she noticed that his breathing was very controlled, not natural at all.

He was trying to keep in control of the pain as long as he could but he knew it was coming to an end as the pain only increased and he could felt the slight jerk of his right thigh. "Seven on the right leg, maybe a four on the left," he said with a tight voice.

"Why did they put you on Oxycodone?" Beth asked with concern as she noticed his face was flushed some. House's only response was to not respond. "House, Cuddy wouldn't have asked you to start taking a stronger narcotic for no reason."

"Why not... my team already knows." House said with a sigh. "I was diagnosed with Extreme Tolerance to Pain."

She thought about this, "High tolerance to pain is when the person with the high tolerance has a level of 9 to the average persons level 10. I've never heard of ETP though, so what does the average person's 10 equal to for you?"

He licked his lips as he still was trying to concentrate on keeping control of the pain, "The test showed that the average person's 10 equaled at level 4 for me."

Beth's worry doubled and she plugged the vitals monitor back in and put on gloves. She put on the blood pressure cuff and the finger clip on House. It didn't take long for her to get readings. "Your BP is 170/105 and your BPM is 142. House you need to take another Oxycodone."

House shook his head, "Doesn't..." He stopped talking and his body stiffened as a spasm started.

She looked on with shock as his leg started jerking and shaking uncontrollably. She saw him holding it and tried to help but she couldn't keep it still. Beth looked back at him and his eyes were shut and his teeth were grinding against each other. She grabbed left hand and he squeezed it hard and she swallowed as she looked at the monitor to only see the high numbers increase more. "Has this happened before?" she asked, even though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. She watched as he made his head nod.

"First... since... injuries," He said taking heavy deep breaths.

Beth could feel her hand already going numb from his grip, "When this stops you need to take some more Oxycodone." she said watching him.

House shook his head, "Won't... work," and finally after five minutes of hell his body relaxed and he opened his eyes.

"What will work?" She asked looking at him. He didn't answer at first taking some calming breaths and she could see the monitors go down to around the same numbers they were before the spasm.

"Neuromusclar blocker," He said as some beads of sweat ran down his face.

"I can't get those for you, you need a doctor for that. I'm calling Dr. Wilson." She said and turned until she felt House grab her hand and looked back at him

House shook his head, "Not Wilson, call Cuddy. She knows what to give me."

Beth left, she didn't want to have to call Cuddy because she knew that she would be disappointed when she found out what happened, but at the same time she knew Cuddy would find out eventually. She walked into the office and locked the door before calling Cuddy.

"Hello Beth, how's everything going?" Cuddy asked when she answered the phone.

"Not so good," Beth said with a sigh, "Dr. House is having spasms in his right leg. He asked me to call you, said that you know what to give him."

"Were you monitoring his vitals when it happened? How high was his BP and heart rate?" Cuddy said with worry.

Beth bit her lip, "They got up to 198/119 and the heart rate was at 165, but it's back down now to 170/105 with a BPM of 139."

Cuddy had sat down and when she heard the door bell ring she realized she still hadn't said anything, "Um... I'll be there quickly, just stay with him and make sure he's alright." She said and put down the phone and opened the door. She was lucky that she'd already booked a babysitter for the night because she had plans to go shopping with her sister but now she'd have to cancel with her sister to help House. Not that she minded a lot, her sister was always trying to hook her up and constantly trying to tell her how to raise Rachel since she was raising three kids.

"Hi, oh you have no idea how happy I am to see you," Cuddy said as she let the babysitter in. "I'm not going to be going out with my sister tonight because I got called into work on a urgent case, but I should be home around the same time."

"That's just fine Dr. Cuddy," The babysitter said and picked up Rachel.

Cuddy gave them a smile, "You be a good girl Rachel," she cooed to the baby then looked back at the babysitter, "call me if anything happens."

"We'll be just fine Dr. Cuddy, but I promise if she so much as sneezes I'll give you call." The babysitter said.

Cuddy smiled, "Thank you," she said and picked up her purse along with a coat and left. As soon as she was out of the drive way she connected her phone. "Call Sis," she said and soon she could hear the phone ringing.

"Hey Lisa, what's going on?" Her sister said.

"Listen, I hate to do this to you, but I just got a call and I have to go into work. I promise I'll make it up to you." Cuddy said in a pleading tone.

There was a sigh, "Okay, I was tired as could be anyway. I think since I finally got some alone time I'm going to get a massage. I'm going to hold you up to making it to me thought Lisa."

"Good, I'm really sorry, have a good time without me. Love you, and talk to you later." Cuddy said.

"Love you too sis," The sister said and then the phone was hung up.

Cuddy smiled she was glad her sister didn't seem to mind that much and that she hadn't tried to make her feel guilty. It took her another ten minutes of driving before she finally made it to the hospital. She walked in and pulled out a prescription pad from her purse, then wrote the prescription for the shot that House would need and gave it to the pharmacist. He gave her the shots in a paper sack and she made her way to his room. She noticed that all the blinds had been closed along with the door. Cuddy quickly made her way in and closed the door. The covers had been pulled back and House was covered in sweat.

Beth looked up and saw her, "He just had another one," she started to explain.

"I'm about to hurl," House said loudly holding his stomach which caught Beth's attention before she could finish and she grabbed him up a tub, to which he made use of.

Cuddy and Beth both watched as he emptied his stomach, "Well it looks like you were eating good." Cuddy said.

House looked up from the tub, "No, I ate a lot, nothing about your hospitals food is good. It's a close call whether it taste worse eating it or when it comes back up."

Beth sighed, "I'm so sorry to call you in Dr. Cuddy but he asked me too and I wanted you to know I didn't know anything about the ETP or spasms until after his workout."

"Tell you what, why don't you just leave me the syringe and you two women can go outside the room and decide who's in trouble for what." House said looking at the bag Cuddy was holding.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "I'll give it to you," she said and took out the syringe walking up to the bed. "Pull them down House."

House shook his head, "Just go outside I can do it myself." Cuddy made a move to grab at his pants but he pulled back. "Don't touch me without gloves and you need to remember I'm going commando here since the burns, unless you're just using this as an excuse to get a peek."

"What's up with you and the whole gloves thing House? You keep acting like we're too dirty or something to touch you, and it's not like you are some clean freak. I can't count the times you came in smelling like booze or sleeping in your office, and I knew you didn't shower, but I didn't treat you that way. Do you really think I would risk giving you a shot in your thigh if my hands weren't clean, I'm not some risk of infection House. And I know this isn't the PTSD, so that won't work anymore, you don't looked scared when I try to touch you, you looked worried, when there's nothing to be worried about." Cuddy said stopping when she noticed that House was having another spasm.

Beth grabbed the rag for the end table and rinsed and wiped his mouth as his back was curved in a painful looking way no longer touching the mattress. When she was done with that the rinsed the rage and then got out a fresh one that she ran cool water over and rung out some before putting it House's forehead. "Hey, you can do this, it's almost over. Come on House, push through it, you're going to be fine." Beth said holding his left hand in her gloved one.

Cuddy swallowed as she felt both stupid for getting into her rant at the wrong time and jealous of how close Beth and House had seemed to become. She looked at Beth holding his hand and him holding hers with a death grip for support though this and she wanted to scream, 'Back off bitch, he's mine,' but he wasn't anymore. She waited until his back hit the mattress again signaling the end of the spasm and put the syringe on the end table, "Beth, let's give Dr. House his privacy." She said and left.

House looked at her, "Now you get to see the side of Cuddy I see all the time."

Beth rolled her eyes but couldn't help the sick feeling in her stomach, she always tried her best to do a good job at work and having Lisa upset with her made her nervous. Beth walked outside the room and closed the door, but didn't see Cuddy.

"Dr. Cuddy is in the office," Rene said tilting her head toward the Nurse's station office on the floor.

Beth made her way in and saw Cuddy was sitting at the desk, "If I'd known about the ETP and the spasms I wouldn't have let him do the exercising today. I'm sorry, it was clearly a mistake."

Cuddy nodded, "I don't think this is your fault Beth. To me, it looks like House has tried to befriend you in a way to make you more sympathetic toward him so he can use those emotions to get what he wants. I know all to easy how fast a person can get sucked into that."

"That's not what happened," Beth said with a frown.

Cuddy smiled, "I know how you feel Beth. He's so distant with everyone that you want to think him talking to you and acting like a human being toward you means something, but it doesn't."

"He is a human being," Beth said and swallowed. "I haven't been a fan of Dr. House's in a long time, so don't you think I was suspicious of that? What happened this weekend was real. The hesitation, the looking away when talking about things he was ashamed of, the laughing, the determination; it was all real. So don't stick this on him. I was his nurse and I'm the one that responsible for keeping him safe and making sure he didn't over do it at the workouts. This is on me."

Cuddy frowned, "Fine, then I'll be the first to teach you a lesson about being friends with House, it costs you. I'm going to have to write you up and suggest that you take a caring for patients class.

Beth was surprised about the class but she wasn't going to fight it. "I deserve it, he told me that the workout would leave him in pain beforehand and I still allowed it."

"And why did you allow it?" Cuddy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because he asked me to do as a friend, not as a nurse," Beth said with her head held high.

Cuddy smiled, "Friends don't ask you to take risks that can effect your job Beth." Beth didn't respond and Cuddy sighed, "What makes you so sure he's being honest about this friendship thing?"

Beth looked Cuddy in the eye. "Because even though House might have a lot of bad traits, lying isn't generally one of them, and if he wanted to con someone with false friendship he wouldn't have picked me to be his nurse. He thinks more of me than that Lisa."

Cuddy looked disappointed, "Beth, it isn't that I don't think you're smart, I just think he's an evil genius. You two must have gotten close over this weekend, what happened."

Beth didn't really feel like socially talking to Cuddy at the moment, but didn't want to come off mad. "I've never had House as a patient and what I saw from him took me by surprise. He was had a determination to get strong, better and more prepared for therapy then I've ever seen. He pushed himself and refused to give up at his obstacles and even ate everything on his plate even if it was disgusting. He was in such a good mood he asked me if I'd get a movie and watch it with him and in return he ate an additional meal, and I actually had fun. I never realized how much he like jokes... even if they aren't funny. Today I could tell was different, but this was important to him."

Cuddy gave a grim smile, "Watching movies and holding hands, are you sure this is just a friendship?"

"Yes I'm sure, I'm happily married, which you know. Also Dr. House was in so much pain after his last workout that he actually asked me to pick him up and put him on the bed, I don't think he would have do that if he had an interest in me." Beth said with certainty.

Cuddy pouted some, "Just because he's in pain or is handicapped doesn't mean he's not a man Beth, and you are both a challenge and good looking."

Beth blinked as her face grew with worry, "Oh my god, the bastard isn't as crazy as I thought, you... you like him. You're not worried about House and me getting close for my sake, your worried for your sake. That's why you were so offended when he wouldn't let you touch him and that's why you went into the rant. What the hell are you thinking Lisa, it's one thing to be his friend but to be involved with him... that's another thing entirely."

Cuddy started looked at Beth with anger, "How would you know? You just thought you knew him before this weekend, you have no idea what he'd be like as more... no idea. He isn't who you think he is and the week before he was attacked that he was happy, that's because we were dating." She blurted out.

Beth couldn't hardly comprehend what she was hearing, "So, you two... you're together?"

"No, he broke up with me a couple of days after the attack, said that being with me would put me in some kind of danger. He thinks that I was ashamed of him, but that's not the reason I didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone, because I was afraid that he'd dump me, and I didn't want to be known as the woman who got dumped by House." Cuddy frowned, "Not that it made it any easier, but then I at least didn't have everyone telling me 'I told you so.'"

Beth swallowed, "Lisa, maybe he was right, I mean look at what someone did to him."

Cuddy felt a hard lump in her throat, "It was my fault... all of it. The men that attacked him was lead by Young, the army guy who hit me in the lobby. He went after House because he embarrassed him by beating his ass in front of the whole hospital. The reason he was asleep when they broke in was my fault too. We had gotten in an argument and I... crossed a line, so he didn't sleep at all the night before and that's why he was so tired. It was my fault Beth."

"Lisa, you didn't do anything wrong, Young hit you and House stood up for you even when you tried to tell him to stop, and everyone has arguments and crosses lines at times. You can't blame yourself for this he doesn't seem too." Beth said now looking at everything from completely different angles.

Cuddy frowned some, "I'd feel better if he did instead of being so rational and defending me to Wilson every time I lose my temper and do something stupid. I'm sorry about the way I acted, I just got a little jealous."

Beth shook her head, "Wow, you really have it bad for him. So, just out of curiosity, how was Dr. House as... a lover?"

Cuddy blushed, "He was as he is at everything, unforgettable, and on that note I should probably get back in there and see how he's doing."

Beth smiled big, "I'll just give you two some time alone while you 'check him over.'"

Cuddy stuck out her tongue as she left the office, "I can tell you've been hanging around House too much." She closed the door behind her and she suddenly felt better and lighter after the talk. She walked into House's room and closed the door behind her. House was laying on his back breathing softy with closed eyes. She hated how pale he looked as she walked over to him, "You're an idiot," she said softly.

"Does that mean you took it easy on her?" House asked still not opening his eyes.

Cuddy grinned, "She's getting a write up and I still deciding if I'm going to make her take a 'caring for patients' class."

House opened his eyes, "There isn't anything going on between her and me," he said seriously.

She shrugged, "It wouldn't be any business of mine if there was." She said solemnly.

He looked in her eyes, "I told you that if there was another shot for us, that I would let you know. I still don't know if there is yet, but I'm not going to get in another relationship until I've answered that question for you."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, "Really? So if Angelina Jolie walked in here right now and begged you to date her, you'd just say that you had to pass?"

House smiled, "Easily, she might have a great body, but the bitch is crazy. Did you see how she kissed her brother, and keeping a vile of blood on a necklace she wears everywhere. No thank you, I'm the crazy one in the relationship."

She smiled, "Well that's true enough, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay now, quit worrying," He said and rolled his eyes.

"I'll stop worrying when you quit doing stupid things that scare me half to death. So, exactly what was your reasoning behind working your legs this hard, this early on?" Cuddy asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I have to start trying to build muscle and it isn't going to be any less painful if I start later, it'll only take longer." House said with sigh. "Plus I was bored and the gym wasn't being used."

She knew he was right even if she didn't like it. "So you plan on continuing this?"

He nodded, "If I don't I'm only going to lose more muscle and it's going to make therapy harder, which is already going to be hard enough with my right leg."

Cuddy frowned, "I don't want this to interfere with your work."

House scoffed, "I'll make sure it doesn't," he said sounding offended. "Thanks for the medicine, I won't hold you up. I'm sure you've got more important things to do than watch me."

She hated how sensitive he'd become since the attack. "House I didn't mean it like that. I'm worried but I know there isn't anything anyone can really do to stop you, but if you're going to do this I want you to be careful and work when you said you would."

"I planned on doing if after my shift," he said closing his eyes again.

"I told Beth," Cuddy said looking at him, but his eyes stayed closed.

"Told Beth what?" House said tiredly.

"About us... well, that we were dating before this happened." Cuddy said anxiously.

House swallowed, "Why?"

"Because it means a lot to me House, and even though you don't say it, I know what happened to you was my fault. It was my fault you were asleep and my fault that Young went after you." She said putting her hand on his covered right leg.

He opened his eyes looking at her, "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. There were four of them, it wouldn't have mattered if I was sleeping or not, and they didn't come after me because of you. I pissed Young off so he decided to try and teach me a lesson, that's not your fault. So what did she say?"

"She said that I was crazy and asked me how you were in bed," Cuddy said with a smirked.

"I would say that you had a break from reality, it's nicer I think. So did you lie and tell her I was the best you ever had," House said wagging his eyebrows.

She smiled, "Nope, I told her you were horrible. I wasn't going to give her any motivation to go after you."

He smirked knowingly, "You're lying."

Cuddy shook her head and laughed, "How do you always know when I'm lying."

"If I told you, then you'd stop doing it, so what DID you tell her?" House asked watching her carefully.

She bit her lip for a minute as she felt her stomach tighten some, "I told her you were the same in bed as you are at everything else... unforgettable."

"Did you mean it?" House asked with searching eyes.

It saddened her that he wasn't sure she had, "Yes, and that doesn't just go for the sex. What we were sharing, getting to know you, it..."

"Shhh, please stop Lisa," He said and swallowed as she looked at him with confusion. "It already hurts enough."

Cuddy put her hand on his covered chest, "Then stop this Greg, stop keeping us apart."

House closed his eyes, "I can't, but believe me when I say that I wish I could."

She moved her hand and put it on his left leg and felt him jerk, "What's wrong with your left leg?"

"It's fine, just hurts a little," He said rubbing it some.

"Let me see," Cuddy said getting off the bed and walking around to that side.

"I thought we went over this, I don't have underwear on," House said with frustration.

She pulled back the cover from his leg, "These have snaps all the way up."

He sighed, "You want to see it that bad then put on gloves first and you can exam my leg."

Cuddy put on a pair of glove and unsnapped the pants stopping when she got to the top of his thigh. She could tell it was swollen and it felt slightly warm. She looked up to see House looking down her shirt, "I hate to cut into your ogling time, but I need to know if you it's possible that you unset the bone."

House smirked as his eyes didn't move, "Don't worry, I can do both and no, I didn't unset the bone. It's just some swelling Cuddy. A little rice and it should be fine."

She pressed on the leg gently and saw him look away, "You okay?" she asked with concern.

"Yeah, just started enjoying the view too much, and the touching, and the perfume." He said licking his lips.

Cuddy looked down to see there was a tent between his legs, "Oh... um... sorry." she said.

House laughed, "That's something you never have to apologize to a man for. Maybe when you grab the cold compress for my leg you can get me another for my third leg."

She frowned, "Seems like a waist," she said biting her lip as she looked at him.

He felt himself stiffen more as he looked at her lips and then looked her in the eyes, "Don't make this harder than it already is."

Cuddy smiled, "I don't think it can get any harder than it already is." She said and let her hand softly rub against the covers over his tent.

House's hand grabbed her arm as he's breath hitched, then he moved her arm back and her hand rub against him so he let go closing his eyes taking some calming breath. Finally he looked up at her with dilated eyes and leaned in smelling her hair. "You have no idea what this is like for me to have to turn you... and this down, but I love you too much to hurt you. I'm sorry." He whispered through her hair and in her ear.

Her heart warmed at his words and the tenderness behind them. He moved back and she sighed, "Your awfully cock to think I would actually do anything in the hospital. I was just joking." She said with a smile.

He grinned, "Yeah, because nothing like that's ever happened."

Cuddy gave him a flirty wink, "That's my story and I'm sticking to it," she said and left to get some cold compresses for his leg.


	69. Chapter 69: Truth or Dare

An hour later Cuddy was still there, the swelling of his leg had gone down from Rise Ice Compress and Elevate and he wasn't having spasms since the shot. He had been watching TV trying to give her a good chance to go, but there she sat watching with him and checking the leg every 20 minutes or so. House also had noticed the complete absence of Beth. "You don't have to sit with me, I'm fine and I know this is your time with the kid."

She looked at him as much as she hated that it had become easy to hurt his feelings she liked how considerate and easy to talk to he'd become. "Rachel is having a great time with the babysitter and we haven't spent much time together lately."

House smirked, "Well every time we're in a room for more than ten minutes by ourselves you either start trying to take off my clothes our we end up fighting... funny thing is lately most of the fights have been about you trying to take off my clothes. Never thought that would happen."

"We did good the night you opened your presents." Cuddy reminded him.

He smirked again, "You mean after the fight," he said condescendingly.

She sighed, "If you don't want me here all you have to do is say so House and I'll leave." It would hurt if he said that's what he wanted, but she wasn't going to force her company on him.

House rolled his bottom lip against his top teeth while giving her a contemplating look. He had been uncomfortable with her ever since the morally forced break up, and it was only made worse by the fact that she kept throwing herself at him. Still... he missed her and liked... no loved her so he always wanted her there. "Truth or Dare?"

Cuddy looked at him with a raised eyebrow, you never really knew what was going to come out of Houses mouth. "This could start trouble, there should probably be some rules."

"I do like rules, it's so fun to break them." He said with a smile.

"Oh I know all about how much you break the rules House." She said with narrowed eyes.

House did a fake pout, "Words hurt you know. Now for the rules, anyone can pass on a question but for every question passed you have to pay a hundred dollar times the number of questions passed. So first time you pass its one hundred, second time cost you two hundred, if that all you passed you would have to pay up three hundred to the other party. Dares have to be done immediately and you can't ask the same question twice."

Cuddy listened to his rules and tried to think if there were any other rules she wanted added. "Also you can't choose the same thing more than two times in a row." She said with a smiled that way House couldn't choose dare every time.

He met her knowing eyes with his calm, casual one, "Sounds good, I'm thinking of fun dares for you already."

Her smile faded, "Who starts?"

"It's polite to start with the most feminine, since Wilson isn't here I guess you'll do," House said with a smirk.

Cuddy gave him a sneer and then smiled, "Truth or Dare?"

He smiled, he knew her too well, "Truth."

She grinned bigger, "Why did you break up with me?"

House wasn't surprised and he wasn't going to answer. "You should try to be at least a little less predictable, I'll pass. Truth or dare Cuddy."

Cuddy was a little disappointed but she had something else up her sleeve, "Truth."

He knew she'd pick truth, it was so Cuddy. "Before we got together had you ever fantasized about me at work, and if you did what was the fantasy?"

She felt her cheeks blushing as she thought about the answer. "I can't believe you asked me that."

House looked confused, "Hm, that doesn't sound like an answer."

Cuddy swallowed, "Fine, yes I've fantasized about you before, but that's all I'm answering. You asked two questions and I only have to answer one."

He frowned, "You're no fun."

She smiled, "Truth or dare House?"

He sighed, "Dare."

Cuddy thought for a minute, "I dare you to kiss me."

House knew she couldn't get HIV from a kiss since he didn't have any open wounds on his mouth, but he also knew it would make him miss her even more, but he'd already passed once. House pulled his legs off the bed sitting on the side and she looked pleasantly surprised as she stood up stepping up to him. House licked his lips and parted his legs as his hands slid around her waist. He pulled gently and she came closer. For once they were face to face, he wasn't having to bend down and she wasn't trying to climb up him. He stared at her lips, something he'd done many times before but never this close. It was amazing how such a small amount of flesh could feel so good and comfort him like nothing else. He leaned in and kissed her softly, it wasn't long, but it wasn't quick either. He turned his head away as he pushed her back at the end. Cuddy slowly opened her eyes to see him looking away and frowned. He swallowed and looked back at her while pulling his legs back up on the bed. "Truth or dare?"

"That's it, you're not going to say ANYTHING about the kiss?" She asked.

He looked away and scoffed then looked back at her with frustration, "What do you want me to say? That I liked it, missed it even, but that my decision still hasn't changed... and more importantly isn't going to change." He could see the disappointment on her face, "See... that right there is why I didn't say anything. Now, let me think of a good dare." House could see her get anxious and a evil smile crept on his lips. "I dare you to open the door and moon someone, also you have to open the blinds so I can make sure that someone actually is there to see it."

"You've got to be out of your mind if you think there was anyway I'd do that!" Cuddy barked at him.

House smiled, "So is that a pass?"

"Yes, you ass! Truth or dare?" She said quickly.

He figured it might not be wise to pick dare when she was still upset over his dare for her. "Truth."

Cuddy pouted as her revenge would have to wait, and thought up something to ask that wasn't about them. "If you had to fire one of your team members who would it be and for what reasons?"

"Wilson thought I paranoid, but I'm not! That's why you made my punishment to the Annual Evaluations on my team. You're trying to get rid of one of them." House accused.

She was taken back by the short rant. Getting rid of one of his team members was the farthest thing from her mind especially since he'd be out of commission and going through a lot. The only reason she'd asked the question was to loosen him up. The plan was to ask impersonal truth questions between the personal ones to take the edge off. "You're crazy House, I'm not trying to fire one of your ducklings, now either answer the question or pass."

"Because the reason they wanted to be on my service was the wrong reason and what they want to gain from working with me they can't gain, that's my reason. The who was a whole other question I prefer not to answer, since I was asked two questions. Also they are my team, not ducklings, that would make me their guardian or some other caring family member." He said calmly.

Cuddy tried to keep a straight face, "Oh yes because obviously you don't care at all, that must be why you just freaked out when I asked if you had to fire one who and why would it be."

"I don't care about them, I care about the work they do, that's completely different. If I was building a house and defended the contractors I'd hired to my lender that wouldn't mean I personally care about them, that just proves that I want my house built and I find them capable." House answered calmly though his posture seemed defensive.

"Then why did you run credit checks on them and hire a detective to look into their past? Why do you care if Remy has Huntingtons disease, or if Taub is cheating on his wife? You care House even if you don't want to admit it and they care about you too." She said watching him.

He gave her a serious look, "No they don't. The only reason they are interested is out of self preservation. If I die they don't know where they stand, so they don't want it to happen. But don't kid yourself, they don't care about me anymore than you care about your bosses. We don't hang out, or share a personal relationship, and that's fine with me because my only interest in them is work related too. All the digging I did was to learn about them so that I can understand their reasoning better and so that I can make sure outside and past things don't effect their work. Truth or dare?"

Cuddy thought it was cute how defensive he got about his little ducklings even if he couldn't admit the truth even to himself. "Truth."

"How would you rank my performance in bed our first time together?" House asked with a smug smile.

She raised an eyebrow, "Oh... you think you're so smart. You might not want to know the answer to that question."

His smugness didn't waver, "Oh, but I do, so are you going to answer or pass?"

Cuddy wasn't going to feed his ego, even if it was justified. "I'd say you were... number 12 or 13."

House shook his head, "No, you're lying Cuddy. I remember you saying I was the best you'd ever had."

"I lied," She lied and rolled her eyes, "come on House, we all say that. You mens egos are so easily bruised."

He kept his face neutral even though he felt crushed since the experience meant so much to him. "My ego is just fine. I choose dare."

Cuddy felt slightly guilty for lying but admitting he was first place was too embarrassing plus he wouldn't have ever let it go. "I dare you call Wilson and tell him you pushed you leg into a spasm today." She said with a evil smile.

House narrowed his eyes on her, oh she was clever. He thought about this he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of passing and at the same time he didn't want a worried Wilson coming up there to nag him. He picked up his phone and called Wilson looking at Cuddy. "Hey Wilson, I need you to say hi to Cuddy for me." He put the phone on speaker.

"House is everything alright? Why did you call me and why is Cuddy there?" Wilson asked.

House smiled taking Wilson off speaker, "Yeah everything's good. Cuddy came over because she's a sad lonely person and had no one else to play with, so she decided to torture me while I can't leave. We're playing a good game of truth or dare, and she dared me to tell you that... oh what was it. Oh yeah, she wants me to say that I pushed my leg to the point of a spasm."

Wilson sat down, "Why would she ask you to call me and say that?"

House looked at Cuddy and shrugged, "You know Cuddy, did you really expect her to come up with a good dare? She wouldn't even moon someone outside my door. Well I need to go, it's my turn to see what else she won't do, next time it'll cost her two hundred."

Wilson smiled at the idea of House and Cuddy playing truth or dare, "If you make more that I'm going to make you pay for dinner tomorrow night when you come home."

"Get ready to eat good," He said with a smile. "Talk to you later Wilson."

"Yeah, have fun House," Wilson said and hung up.

House smiled at Cuddy, "Well that didn't go like you planned did it?"

Cuddy looked honestly disappointed, "You lied to him. I thought you were all about honesty."

"Actually I didn't, I told him what you asked me to say, if he'd asked me if it was true, I would have told him, but he didn't. It's funny how the little things like the inflection of your voice or a couple of extra words can make people assume so much. Your turn, what will it be?" He asked.

"I pick truth," She said watching him.

House wasn't going to let her guilt trip work, "How many men have you slept with?"

Cuddy's mouth dropped some as she looked at him, "What?"

He shrugged, "It's a pretty simple question Cuddy. You're all about the truth right? Then tell me exactly how many men have you had sex with." He asked coolly.

She didn't want to share her number, it was high. Not that she thought that was bad or anything, but even in the modern world a girl with a high number was considered a slut while a man with a high number was a player. She held her head high, "Fine, my number is 54."

House had never expected her to actually answer the question and now that she had he wished he hadn't ever asked. He wanted to believe that what they shared had meant something but it didn't, at least not to her.

Cuddy had expected him to say some horrible comments not to go silent. She started thinking about that night she went to his place in that little red dress, how passionate he'd been in bed. How he told her there hadn't been anyone since Stacy. "Truth or dare House?"

"Truth," he answered mechanically.

"How many women have you had sex with?" She asked hoping it was at least somewhere near her number.

House didn't look at her, "Five," he said softly.

Cuddy grimaced her number was almost eleven times the number of his, and a silence fell over both of them. She'd never expected his number to be so low. He was good looking now edging on the age of fifty, but in his younger days he had a built body, oozed charisma, and a raw sexual energy that made women fantasized about him. He could have had anyone, but for some reason he didn't. She frowned, why had he been with so little people? Then her eyes widened as she thought about Wilson's theory that she'd been his first, and then she'd told him he ranked 12. She'd thought Wilson had to be mistaken but if House had only been with five women there as a good shot she was his first. Cuddy looked back at him with guilty eyes, praying Wilson was wrong otherwise she had probably crushed him when she lied. House was looking distantly and she sighed, "Um... I guess I have to go with dare."

He glanced at her and bit his lip, "I dare you to buy me dinner."

She had expected something big, something like he'd done last time, this was just too easy. "Okay what are you in the mood for."

"Doesn't really matter, I'm just hungry," House said casually.

Cuddy decided to take the easy dare, "Fine," she said and called a Chinese place that delivered. "So you taking dare House?"

He thought about it, he was becoming too predictable switching between the two options ever time. "Nope, make it truth."

She nodded and swallowed as she deeply hoped Wilson was wrong. "Was I your... first?"

House's eyes shot up to her with surprise, but he masked it quickly as his features hardened and his eyes searched hers, "Why would ask me that?"

Cuddy felt her stomach sink, him avoiding the question sounded more and more like Wilson might have been right. "Answer the question House."

He stared at her, she'd asked if she was his first, but she hadn't been specific. He licked his lips, "No, you weren't the first person I shared a sexual relationship with."

She could see a darkness behind the cold eyes and for the first time since they started the game she wondered if he was lying to her. "Really? Because it feels like you're lying to me Greg and you don't have too."

"The name is House and I'm not lying, believe me I remember ever second of my first time and you weren't there," House said with a dark tone to his low baritone voice.

Something about the way House answered her question made her feel uneasy. "Okay... I'll take truth."

House narrowed his eyes on her, "Tell me the truth about your marriage."

Cuddy chuckled, "What? House I've never been married."

"Are you sure about that? Not even in Vegas for two days, because from what I found out you were married and then got it annulled." He said looking at her with a calm interest.

Her face had paled, "How did you find out about that and why did you go looking?"

House's face was unreadable, "I told you I take relationships seriously. I looked into my team to make sure who I was working with and the baggage they would be bringing with them. Did you really expect me not to look into the woman I was dating?"

"You... son of a bitch." Cuddy said with watery eyes, "I can't believe how far you will sink you un-trusting bastard." She took some shaky breath as House watched her, "I was young and thought I'd found the one, but two days after he knocked the crap out of me. I was never so ashamed in my life and I told him that either he signed the annulment or I'd turn him in. There, you happy now House?"

He's hands were in white knuckled fists as he listened and closed his eyes. "I was afraid it might be something like that. Paul's on his sixth year of a twenty-five year stint in New York Penitentiary for beating his wife to death."

She could hear the anger in his voice but it didn't comfort her any it just pissed her off that he'd crossed a line into her privacy. "I dare you to let me look through your medications."

House looked at her with a glare, "Pass," he said without even considering it.

Cuddy grabbed at the drawer as House held it closed. She matched his glare, "What's the matter House, it's okay for you to cross boundaries but no one can cross your boundaries right? What the hell make's you so special?" He didn't say anything he just watched the drawer and held it closed tight. "You aren't special House! You're just a scared little boy who's still afraid and cowering in the corner from you dead father!"

His eyes met her with dark angry eyes, "I never cowered from him." She stood up and pushed him hard against his chest. House barely kept his hand on the drawer, even thought she'd seemed to have lost interest in it, he wasn't taking the chance. He could tell she wanted to hurt him, "Go ahead, hit me. Get it all out. I can see it in your eyes that's what you want."

He was right, she did want to, but she took a deep breath and gritted her teeth as she forced herself to sit down, if she was going to hurt him she'd do it with her words. "No wonder Stacy never wanted your bastard babies, I'd have done the same thing." She said watching him.

House literally leaned back from her with hurt in his eyes then looked away as he took a deep breath and swallowed. He took a moment to get control of his emotions and then looked back at her with the cold emotionless eyes he'd practiced for so long, "We even now?"

Cuddy looked away, "Yes."

"Truth or dare?" He asked flatly.

"Truth," She answered as she reminded herself that he'd hurt her first and she shouldn't feel as guilty as she was.

"Do you wish I'd died?" House asked seriously.

Cuddy shook her head, "No... House how could you ask me that?"

He didn't answer her question, "Truth."

She frowned, "I don't hate you House... and I didn't mean what I said about Stacy and the abortions." She waited for him to respond but he didn't. "I'm sorry." He still didn't say anything but she saw his jaw tighten. "Just say something House."

"Fuck you," he said looking at her.

That hadn't been exactly what she meant. Cuddy looked at him wonder, "What would have done if she'd told you she was pregnant and had wanted to keep the baby?"

House looked at her, "I know how to use a condom. She had three abortions, do you really think they were all accidents?" He sighed and looked at his hands, "Even a bastard like me is allowed to want to be a father, even if it never happens."

She swallowed at the way the harsh words and the tender tones of his last sentence revealed so much about him. The worse thing about it was that he might actually be the biological father of Stacy's son and she couldn't tell him. She wasn't sure what was the right thing to say when she heard a knock on the door and opened it to find the delivery guy. She paid for the food and they divided it up. They started eating the food and Cuddy sighed, "I guess I'll take dare."

He watched her eating and smiled, "I dare you to eat all of that without the use of any kind of utensil or use of your hands."

Cuddy looked at the food and back at him, "You're disgusting, I'll pass."

"Too bad, I was looking forward to seeing you get messy, I'll take dare." House said.

She thought for a moment and then her eyes lit up, "I dare you sing _Hush Little Baby_, with the door open."

House narrowed his eyes on her, "Oh, I'm so going to get you back for this. Open the door, because I'm only doing this once."

Cuddy pressed the record button on her phone as she put it down in the chair beside her and got up to open the door. She hadn't even made it back to her seat before he started singing it and although there weren't a lot of people on the floor at least five nurses heads poked in. Cuddy found it comical how he would glare at them with such intensity that they would scramble away all while singing the lullaby and never letting it effect his singing. When he was done Cuddy stopped the recording on her phone unnoticed by House and then clapped, "That was wonderful," she said closing the door.

He rolled his eyes, "So are you taking truth again?" She nodded and he looked her square in the eyes, "When we were together you said the my scar didn't bother you, were you lying?"

Her mouth went dry as she looked at him. She'd said what anyone would say, it was the right thing to say, she was sure of that. The scar though... it was horrible looking and a reminder not only of his disability but also of her part in his treatment, one that she now regretted. She tried to make her hanging mouth say something but it refused to cooperate.

House smiled, "I thought so, I'll take truth."

Cuddy had finally managed to close her mouth as she looked at him knowing that truth had to have hurt him a good deal. "Tell me something you talked about in Therapy, it doesn't have to be big, just something you want to tell me."

He gave her a skeptical look, "So if I said we talked about jokes and I've concluded that fart joke are the best kind of joke, you'd be fine with that."

"If that's what you want to share, yes," She said without hesitation, he deserved a break.

"Actually, there was something that came up in therapy that I wanted to talk to someone about," House said looking at the small remains of his dinner. He rolled the cart away from the bed and took a deep breath. "My father took over my diet at the age of three, at every meal he presented me with what I was to eat and when school started he gave me my lunch sack. It was also one of my first punishments and became a constant, kind of like I teenager always get grounded and might also have to mow the yard or do some other chore. Less food was my grounding so to speak." House glanced at her and then back at his sheets. "So I've told you about my nausea from the pain if I don't take enough meds and from the meds sometimes. Well Dr. Ryan has a different theory, she suspects the nausea is worse when I get my own meals because... I was forced to throw up any food he didn't order me to eat. She also suspects my nausea would cause me problems eating when I felt I'd done something bad or wrong, because my meals were cut back so much for punishments. And last... she thinks that I use Wilson mainly but even others as a replacement as my fathers role to present me with food and I eat better when they do because I feel I've earned to right to eat it."

Cuddy swallowed as she looked at him with worry and saw even more worry in his face. "What do you think about her theory?"

He licked his lips, "I hate it... but … she right." He said looking ashamed and then scoffed. "I even found something she missed. I eat the best when food is presented to me and then the person who presents the food eats with me... because... I felt the best when I was allowed to eat at the table with my family for dinner."

It was worrisome but she could tell by his face he was more than worried about it. "House, have you talked to Wilson about this?" He shook his head and she gave him a confused look, "Why not?"

"What kind of man, can't eat properly if someone doesn't give him the food?" He asked with contempt. "A bum, that who. I don't want to bum off of Wilson, and if I tell him about this then he'll take it on as if it's his responsibility. All this time I took the food he gave me thinking I was enabling his messed up issue and when he made joke about having to feed me or I'd starve, I thought he was making up comforting lies, but I was."

"That's why you got in the fight with him Thursday night when he bought you dinner," Cuddy said as she thought about Wilson's talk to her.

House swallowed, "He told you about that? Of course he did. Why wouldn't he?" He said with a huff letting his frustration show.

"This isn't your fault House, why are you letting this get to you so much?" She asked.

"You don't get it. I have no control. I can't fucking walk! I'm not even ALLOWED to live on my own! I can't drive.. or have alcohol, or even get in the god damn shower by myself! I have to stuff down about twenty pills a day and when the physical therapy starts I'll have to take more because only two of those are oxycodone. I can't even fucking touch people! And now..." he laughed bitterly, "I discover can't even freaking eat on my own and I'm just supposed to let Wilson, the poor bastard, feed me forever now? Is that the solution here? I could try working through the issue, but... I can't afford to lose anymore more weight now, not if I want a shot at being able to walk, hell not even walk... LIMP!"

"House you need to calm down," Cuddy said worried about his blood pressure.

"NOW I can't even get mad!" He stated in disbelieve.

She reached to him and he pulled back, "That's not what I meant," she said softly as he took some deep breaths and looked in serious thought.

Houses eyes stayed on his sheet as his brow was down, "At what time does it stop being worth it," he said softly.

Cuddy knew what it sounded like he was talking about, but she didn't believe it, "What do you mean?"

"Life... how much do you have to lose before it's not ..." he let it end there and closed his eyes just taking calming breaths.

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She thought about yelling at him that there was never a point but could tell that wouldn't help him. So she tried thinking about what would help him. "When you no longer have anything to give, but Greg you still have so much to give. I have a patient coming in tomorrow who needs you, because no one else can cure them or even give them an answer to what's wrong. You have a gift and it would be an injustice to the world for you to... not be in it."

Houses deep blue eyes met her light blue eyes for twenty long seconds in silence, "You've been hanging out with Martha way too much." He said with a slight smile. "You taking truth?" She gave him a nod. "If went lesbo what girl would you want to get under?"

Cuddy shook her head it was something a teenage boy would ask. "Um.. I guess Remy."

He looked surprised, "Really? My little thirteen?"

"Yes, what's wrong with that?" She asked.

"Nothing, I'll take dare," He said.

Cuddy tried to think of a good dare, "I dare you to let me hold you."


	70. Chapter 70: Mother Knows Best

She could see he was already not going for it and decided to explain before he could say something. "I promise I wont touch your skin, just lay down on your side and let me hold you."

House laid on his left side facing away from her and it wasn't long before she laid down beside him. He lifted his torso some and felt her slide her arm under it and round his waist then the right hand joined it. He pulled the thin sheet up to his chest covering her arms, then put his on top of the covers. He hated how good it felt to just be embraced by someone and how bad he'd needed it. His arms wrapped around hers with only the sheet between them and pulled them tighter.

She could see and feel the sharp vertebra bones down his back and his waist was smaller than hers. She was scared for him and when she felt him make her hold on him tighter she kissed his clothed back and pulled him closer to her. He let out a soft sigh and she let her right hand roam higher she could feel how bare his ribs were through the shirt but tried to ignore it letting her hand finally rest over his heart. She felt his hand on top of her and then he worked his fingers and the sheet between hers so that he was holding her hand with her back to his palm with the thin sheet laced between.

"Truth or dare?" He asked.

Cuddy smiled against his back, "You know I have to pick dare."

"I dare you to stay like this with me for at least ten minutes," House said softly and she could feel him swallow.

"Dare, or double dog dare... there's a difference," She said squeezing him tighter to reassure him.

"Quadruple dog dare, with a promise to get my evaluations in by the end of the month," He said squeezing her hand some.

Cuddy shook her head, "Make the evaluations by the end of the week and we have a deal."

House let out a deep breath, "Deal."

She nuzzled his back and sighed, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," He answered.

"What bothered you so much about me dating Wilson?" Cuddy asked, and suddenly feel his muscles tighten. "Don't Greg, I'm not interested in him you don't have to get defensive, I just wanted to know."

House tried to relax some, "Wilson isn't faithful and if he cheated on you, hurt you like he had other women, I'd have to hurt him. Also in a relationship I've always thought of you as a woman who needed a challenge, and Wilson's a yes man in relationships so if he didn't cheat I think you'd get bored and dump him. Then he'd get hurt and I'd have to find a way of punishing you, plus if you two got together, then by my code I couldn't ever be with you again."

"But Wilson slept with Stacy and.." She started and was interrupted.

"I'm not Wilson." He stated firmly. "Truth?" She nodded against his back. "Tell me something I don't know about you."

Cuddy smiled at the request which she knew would be harder than it sounded. "My favorite ice..."

"Butter pecan and coffee, you like old people ice cream," He said with a smile.

"My first bicycle..." she stared out again.

"Green 1970's Huffy Spyder with a white banana seat and Ape hanger handle bars, your dad said they didn't have a girls in blue," House said with a smug grin.

Cuddy always felt weird when he knew stuff he shouldn't, like the bike. "How would you know that?"

He took a deep sigh, "On our second date I took you out for a picnic, and you saw a red one. You told me you use to have a green one just like it and that you wanted blue but your dad said they didn't make the girls in blue."

She felt guilty for forgetting that date but she remembered it after he mentioned it. "You made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cubes of cheese, apples and that horrible sangria."

He chuckled, "You were vegan and I told you I just did what recipe said for the sangria."

"OH God, and you were wearing those short shorts, then you climbed the tree and tried to get me to climb it too." Cuddy said with a smile squeezing him closer.

"If I remember correctly you were wearing short shorts too and a top that just tied on and you pulled my shirt off when I was hanging from that tree." House said with smile.

"Only after you took the ribbon that was in my hair," She reminded him.

"I still got you in that tree," He said.

She sighed, "Yes you did. Okay, something you don't know about me... I'm deathly afraid of centipedes."

"So what about them exactly, the idea of how all of those little legs would..." House started.

"Shut up," Cuddy interrupted as a shiver went down her spine. "Truth or dare?"

"I'll take a dare," He said giving her hand a squeeze.

She smiled, "I dare you to tell me something that you are scared of."

House took a deep breath, "I'm afraid what I'll learn about myself in therapy. I already knew I was screwed up, but I didn't think I was messed up that bad. Now... who knows."

Cuddy kissed his back and sighed, "You're going to be fine because you are so strong House, you don't even know how strong you are. I'll take truth."

He hoped he was as strong as she seemed to think he was, he wasn't so sure anymore. "How did you really get my key that night you found me having the spasms?"

She literally groaned at the question, "Wilson, but promise me you won't get mad at him."

House hadn't believed that she stole his keys when she'd first said it and had already come to the conclusion that Wilson had to be involved. Still, hearing it bothered him. "Why shouldn't I?"

Cuddy rubbed the side of her face against his back, "Because if I hadn't come over that night I wouldn't have known about what you were going through. We wouldn't have known about the ETP and worst of all, we wouldn't have happened."

He closed his eyes, "Knowing about the ETP changes nothing, there isn't a cure, and it's not like we got to be together long. If you hadn't come over that night this wouldn't be so hard for both of us, I wouldn't have had hope to lose and you wouldn't be waiting to see how this plays out."

She loosened her grip on him some, "The time we were together, however short, was worth it to me."

House knew trying to explain to her that the reason she felt that way was because even if they never had another shot she would have more relationships would only push her away more. "I'll take truth."

Cuddy looked at his shoulder blades that were jutting out of his skin. "Are you going to tell Wilson about your eating, because... you've lost so much weight already House."

"I know I have too. I figured I'd talk to Dr. Ryan and see about doing a session with him so we can... work something out." He said and swallowed as he shook his head, "This is too much, asking him to help me with this... it's too much. I bet he'll leave... there's no reason for him not too."

"Hey that's not going to happen," She said pulling him closer.

House looked at his hand holding hers through the sheet. "He needed this break more than I did and I don't blame him. Why should his life suck just because mine does? I'm not his responsibility. He has a girlfriend and other friends he could go out with, instead of feeding me and helping me in the shower then making sure I take my pills and running in if I have a nightmare." He felt sick at how much Wilson was doing for him. "I'm ruining his life, I'm going to make him just as miserable as I am if I don't get out on my own."

Cuddy could feel his breathing turn ragged as his muscles tighten and shiver. She pulled him flush against her body and for the first time felt him pull him away but she didn't lessen her hold. "You've got to quit thinking like that, quit pulling away from everyone who tries to help you."

He stilled as his muscles stayed tight, "There's something wrong with me Cuddy... I'm bad and bad things keep coming. I can't let what's happening to me spread to everyone I care about when you and him don't deserve this. I've always been toxic and being around me hurts others, how can you say that's okay?"

She closed her eyed as she remember what Martha had said, _He thinks there is something wrong with him, that he's... bad_. She wondered how Martha knew House so well, had he said something like this to her or had she just been smart enough to see it on her own. Martha might know House well, but she did too, "You can't run away from everything that scares you Greg. Needing him for this... just having to admit you need him at all... I can only imagine how hard that is for you. You haven't needed someone in a long long time. You weren't brought up to have to NEED anyone... but now, in this situation, you do. Can't run from that forever Greg, even if it's not him it'll have to be someone, and is there anyone you really trust MORE than Wilson?"

House knew she was right. As much as he hated needing someone right now, it didn't change the fact that he did and he trusted Wilson the most. "I hate needing him, it makes me feel weak."

Cuddy could feel his muscles relaxing and swallowed, "I know but acknowledging that and accepting his help, that means you can change. Which means anything is possible and that you are strong enough to make it through pretty much anything. You can do this House, I told you that you're stronger than you thought."

"I wish you would quit saying things like that. I'm don't want to disappoint you." He said and gave her hand a squeeze.

She laughed against his back, "To bad because I'm not going to stop," she said then kissed his back. "And I know you wont disappoint me because you're too stubborn to let that happen. It's time for you to pick a dare for me."

"I dare you to call your sister and tell her you're laying in the bed with me right now," House said and kissed her sheet covered fingers that were laced through his.

Cuddy hated that he was putting her in this position. She didn't want to hurt him and those sweet little kisses he was putting on her fingers even thought it was through a sheet meant the world to her. At the same time, they weren't together anymore and her sister had heard her complain countless time about House and his behavior, so she wouldn't drop this if she found out. "Maybe if we were together, but we aren't. So I'm going to have to pass. You taking dare?"

He let out a sigh, "Yeah."

"I dare you to call your mother and tell her you're laying in bed with me right now," She said giving him a taste of his own medicine. He used his free hand to grab his phone off the end table. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Calling her," he said putting the phone to his ear.

"No you're not." She said confidently. House held the phone toward her so she could see it was calling Mom. She stared at him and the phone with disbelieve and then heard and noise come from the phone and grabbed it ending the call.

House turned around facing her, "Did you just hang up on my mom?" He asked with irritation. She just looked at him blankly. "Dammit Cuddy, my mom might be old but she can still read caller ID. I have to call her back before..." He was interrupted by his phone ringing and picked it up.

"Greg, did you call me and hang up?" Blythe asked.

House looked at Cuddy, "No, Cuddy must have accidentally hung up."

"You mean Lisa?" Blythe thought about that for a second. "Where are you? I thought you were off work on Sundays."

"Lisa's laying in the bed with me." House said with a smile as he saw Cuddy's face frown.

"What do you mean laying in the bed with you? Aren't you still staying at Wilson's?" Blythe asked.

"Yep, but don't worry we're not at his place. We're at the hospital." House said and watched Cuddy shake her head.

"Why are you at the hospital in a bed with Lisa? Are you supposed to be working? You need to take more time before working with your injuries." Blythe said not liking the idea of them letting him go back to work so early.

He sighed, "Don't worry I'm not working. I was admitted and before you start, it wasn't anything big. I just got a round of pneumonia, but it's clearing up good."

"And she's taking advantage of you while you're ill?" Blythe said even more shocked.

House laughed looking at Cuddy who looked confused. "No... she's... she's just holding me. She came in to keep me company."

Blythe smiled at that thought, "Greg can you just be straight with me and tell me what's going on between you two. I know you love her and she obviously has feelings for you."

He looked away from Cuddy, "Mom... right now, it's a bad time. Maybe later there's a chance for something more, but right now I can't."

Blythe swallowed as she could hear the defeat in his voice. "I know there's something going on with you that you're afraid to tell me about and it's making a relationship with Lisa impossible right now. It's something she could catch from you isn't it?"

House looked at Cuddy with a worried expression, "Yes," he said softly.

"You said there's still a chance for you two so... that means you're not sure if you have it. Which means your waiting on testing, but you'd only do that if you had too." Blythe was thinking and then gasped, "It's HIV isn't it?"

He closed his eyes, "I wont know for a while. Mom... I'm sorry."

"Don't you apologize for this. You didn't do anything wrong sweetie. How did this happen to you?" Blythe asked as she sat down.

"The attack, but Mom you have to promise me you'll let me handle this." House said still keeping his eyes closed.

Blythe hated that he didn't want her there, but understood he was going through a lot already and that they had only recently become close. "I love you so much Gregory and I'll keep my distance if that's what you want, but I'm here if you need me... to talk or anything baby. You can't understand this because you don't have a kid, but you'll always be my blue eyed baby boy... always. You'll call me when you know for sure... you have to Greg."

He was now curled up in a ball all except his paralyzed right leg. "Mom I love you too. I really do, and I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I still haven't really... processed. I'll let you know though. I love you."

"Let me talk to Lisa before you hang up," Blythe said firmly.

"No! Mom... I..." He started but she interrupted him.

"I know she doesn't know otherwise she wouldn't have told me about the break up like she did at James' place. I promise I wont tell her, please Gregory, let me talk to her." Blythe said.

House opened his eyes to see Cuddy looking at him with worry and held the phone out to her. Cuddy swallowed as she took it and couldn't help but stare at his eyes that were glued on hers. "Hello?"

"Hello Lisa, this is Blythe, Gregory's mother. I need you to do something for me," Blythe said.

"Me... um.. okay what is it?" Cuddy asked as her and House's eyes were locked.

Blythe was happy that Lisa already sounded compliant. "You've got to be strong for him and that means you can't make him feel guilty for putting your relationship on hold. He loves you Lisa, he's admitted that and knowing that has to be enough for the moment. He has to worry about himself right now and getting better and if you love my son half as much as I think you do then you have to be strong and patient, that's what he needs. Can you do that for me Lisa? Can you be strong for my baby?"

She felt a flood of emotion hit her at Blythe's request and her reference to House as her baby. Now that Cuddy was a mother she had a better understanding of how hard it must be for Blythe to know her son was hurt and for him not to want her there. "I promise to try the best I can."

Blythe wished Lisa had said that it would be no problem but it was the most she could ask for. "Thank you dear. Say hi to that sweet little daughter of yours for me. You're a good mother and a good friend to my boy, thank you for that. I'd better go I imagine he's staring you down right now with a frightful expression afraid of what I'll say, don't want to worry him too much. Good bye."

Cuddy swallowed as she heard his mother hang up. House's eye moved from her's to the phone and then back to her. "What did she say?" He asked watching her closely.

"She told me to quit pushing you for a relationship and asked me to be strong and patient for you." She said looking at him with a confused sense of worry. "She figured it out, didn't she?"

House looked at her with dread, "She a smart woman."

She hated being the only one who didn't know, but she tried to push that feeling aside for the moment as she took in how worried House looked. "You alright?" She asked and was surprised when she saw his head shake no.

House closed his eyes as he thought about what he was now putting his mother through. She'd lost her husband of fifty years to a terminal cancer only a few months ago and now her only son tells her that he might have HIV. He'd heard the slight quiver to her voice, that let him know that she had been a lot stronger with him on the phone than she was feeling. The idea that his mother was probably crying over him and this situation right now hit him hard. She'd been through enough and the idea of bringing her anymore pain, especially after finding out how he was conceived, was heart wrenching for him. "I should have lied." He said in a cracked voice.

Cuddy could hear the emotion in his voice as it cracked but couldn't understand why he was so upset that his mother knew about whatever was going on with him. "It's not the end of the world House. She was going to find out eventually, whatever it was."

"No she wasn't! I never planned on telling her! Never..." He said now looking at Cuddy with big eyes that were moving sporadically. "She's hurting and it's my fault! MINE!" He swallowed as he felt sick. "She just lost her husband. I should have lied. She deserves comforting lies, she'd have done it for me." He said finally talking at a normal volume.

"She's a strong woman House, I'm sure she's going to be fine." She said trying to comfort him.

"She's been through ENOUGH!" House said loudly back not liking how dismissive Cuddy was being about his mother's feelings.

Cuddy was offended by House's reaction. The way he'd yelled at her and gave her a cutting look, ticked her off. She was being polite, honestly she didn't really care if his mother was upset, not after hearing about what happened in his childhood while his mother had ignored the signs. "I'm surprised she was smart enough to figure this out, since she couldn't figure out what was happening in her own home with her family."

His eyes narrowed on her in a warning way, "She's not to blame for how my father treated me."

She frowned at House, "I don't blame her for what your father did, just for ignoring it. Any mother who gave a damn about her kid should have been able to see what was going on. She hasn't been though anything for YOU House. All she's done for you is ignored what was happening and leave you alone."

House sat up quickly pinning her upper arms down to the bed and leaning down in her face. "She was raped! Do you have any idea what that's like?" Cuddy looked away from his piercing eyes and House continued. "To feel someone use your body and not be able to stop it. Then instead of doing what anyone else would have done and terminating she decided to have the baby. After I was born she could have put me up for adoption but she didn't. You have any idea what it must have been like for her to look at me every day and remember how I came to be? My mother always could tell when I was lying, but she never could with Him. She trusted him, just like every wife does, and he never so much as lifted a finger towards her. So... don't ever ask what my mothers done for me, or put the what HE did on HER... EVER." He growled inches from her face and let go then sat up looking at the opposite side of the room.

Cuddy took some deep breath as she felt him let go and move away from her some. The anger she'd seen in him was scary even though he'd not been rough with her even when holding her down. She swallowed as she looked at the back of him. What he'd said about his mother really did make her rethink how she viewed his mother. Also she was a trained doctor and had completely missed that his pain was out of control and the ETP altogether, so how could she accuse his mother for not seeing things when he was a kid. She'd crossed a line by talking before thinking things through about his mother and now she didn't know what to say to try and repair the damage.

House had expected her to bolt as soon as he let go of her but it had been a couple of minutes and she'd barely moved. He could feel her eyes on him, even if he wasn't looking at her. "She didn't even let them kill the bastard that did that to her. She asked them to put him in a mental hospital instead." He said frowning, "If my mother is guilty of anything... it's being too kind. I wasn't an easy kid, but she always was there for me and still is." House said waiting for her to respond and when she didn't he swallowed. "Did I hurt you? I was trying to be gentle." He asked softly as he began to worry still not looking at her.

"No, you were gentle," she said softly as she sat up some leaning back against the headboard. She reached out a hand to touching his back and he jerked, turning and looking at her at the same time. She pulled her hand back, "I shouldn't have said it, I wasn't thinking." He frowned and scooted back from her some and then rolled toward her putting his face in her stomach. Cuddy felt him nuzzle her stomach some with his face as his as he was laying on his stomach between her legs, supporting some of his weight with his elbows as his arms were wrapped around her waist. She could tell he needed this more intimate physical contact even though it went unmentioned. As intimate as it was there was nothing remotely sexual about it, it was deeper than that. This was about vulnerability and even more than that, trusting someone enough to let them see that vulnerability. Cuddy put her hand on his shoulder and he pulled her tighter burying his face deeper in her stomach. "It's okay, I'm here." She said softly.

He pulled back just enough to let some air get to him and took some ragged breaths, "I love her so much." He said against her shirt.

Cuddy let out a deep sigh as she let her fingers trickle though his hair, "I know you do and so does she."

House swallowed, "I want her here... but her seeing me like this will only worry her more... and then I'd be worried more about her than what I need to do. It's not that I don't want her here, it's not that I don't love her. I'm doing this for both of us." He said pushing his head in her stomach again.

"Shhhh Greg, she's a smart woman... remember. I'm sure she knows," She said combing through his hair with her fingertips. She felt the sweat that was in his hair and frowned. "Hey, you're sweating." House became very still and stayed silent. Cuddy had a bad feeling, he was acting guilty and then she looked at the clock. It had been over 5 hours since he'd taken the tranquilizer, which was only supposed to work 4 hours. "How's you leg?"

He pulled her tighter, "It's not too bad yet."

Cuddy's eyes widened. He knew it was going to get bad and instead of telling her that the shot had worn off he'd allowed himself to be in pain. "Roll over on your back and I'll give you another shot. I got two just in case." House rolled over and she got out of the bed grabbing the other shot that was in her purse. She unsnapped two snaps over his thigh and saw the bandage.

"Just go through it," He said watching her, she nodded and pushed the needle in then pressed down on the plunger. When it was empty she pulled it out and put it in the sharps container that was hanging on the wall. She took her time walking back to the bed and sat down on the edge. House continued to stare at the ceiling when he felt her sit down. "Isn't it about time you got home to Rachel?"

She looked over at him with a smirk, "You'd like that wouldn't you. If I leave now then I owe you three hundred dollars. I think I'll play a little longer. I'll take truth."

House thought up a good truth and was smiling when he looked up at her. "Tell me the code to get in the confidential data room."

Cuddy's jaw stuck out, "You know I can't do that."

He grinned, "Can't is a four letter word Cuddy. You can do anything you set your mind to, I believe in you."

"Pass." She said with irritation.

House shrugged, "Fine, have it your way. I'll take truth."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him as she thought, "What really happened to Coma Guy?"

He looked away as he debated in his head. "We're just two friends talking, right? You're off duty and I'm off duty." He glanced at Cuddy to see her nod. "He wanted to die to save his son and asked me the best way to do it. I told Wilson to leave and then told him the best way was hanging since drugs could damage the organs. He didn't know how to tie a noose, so I showed him how he could use his belt. He was nervous... we talked it out a couple of times. I asked him if he needed me to stay, but he said he wanted to be alone... and... he was."

She couldn't help but be both intrigued and appalled by the story. "You think you did the right thing by helping a man take his own life?"

House didn't look at her, "You already got to ask your question. So what will it be?"

"Truth," Cuddy said.

He nodded, "Tell me something that Wilson told you in confidence about me that you haven't already let slip."

She felt her heart beat quicken but smiled, "There isn't anything else House, sorry to disappoint you."

House looked at her, "You're lying, I can tell. Come on Cuddy, let's be truthful here."

Cuddy wasn't going to betray Wilson's trust over some stupid game, even if it did cost her... whoa five hundred dollars to keep the secret. She'd intended to get at least even before leaving since she owed him three hundred then. Now she'd managed to get herself even deeper in the hole at twelve hundred dollars total at the moment. "Pass." She said with even more irritation.

House watched her for a moment, "Either he told you one hell of secret for it to be worth $500, or you're an idiot." Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him and he sighed, "I'll take dare."

"I dare you to let me look through you're backpack," Cuddy said with a glint in her eye.

House looked at the backpack thinking over what was in it, "You can't damage anything in it." He stated firmly. Cuddy nodded to the request. "Okay, have a look."

She pulled all kinds of medical supplies out of it, a couple of scraps of paper that made no sense, three medical journals (none in English), one dictionary, one of his big tennis balls, the swiss army knife his Oma had given him and the metal box she'd sent to him. She tried to open the box but it was locked. She pulled everything out of the bag but couldn't find a key, just a empty notebook and some odds and ends. She was discouraged at the end of her search and showed it by leaving the backpack and it contents spread out on his bed instead of putting it back up.

"So lets see, this would be dare for you. I dare you to..." He started but was abruptly cut off.

"Fuck you!" Cuddy said angerly.

House raised an eyebrow, "No... actually I'm pretty sure that's against some rule somewhere."

She gave him a look that let him know she was anything but amused at his joke. "Fuck you and your dare. I'm actually trying to get to know you and all you're doing is using this a way to try and humiliate me and get money!"

"No, I'm not. Believe me if I just wanted to humiliate you and make money you'd be even deeper in the hole. I'm asking questions that I want to know the answer to, so I can understand you and what's going on with us better. I've asked you to do a one humiliating dare and you passed. The others might have been gross, but it wasn't like I was asking you to do them in front of anyone but me. NOW... I was about to dare you to let me hold you."

Cuddy looked at him with her face of anger leveling off at a slightly sulky face. "Really?" House nodded and patted the spot next to him and she bit her lip, "Why would you do that?"

House shrugged, "You looked like you could use some holding and... I missed holding you."

She laid down with her back to him under the sheet and he wrapped her up in his arms, that out of the sheet. She could feel him smell of her hair and then give her a kiss on the top of her head. "Okay, this wasn't a mean dare." She said softly snuggling back against him.

"I take truth," He said giving her a squeeze while resting his chin on top of her head.

Cuddy didn't want to upset him, but there was a question she'd been wanting to ask him for a while now and felt like this might be one of her last moments of the night to do it. "Do you see how your father treated you and the things he forced you to do as abuse?"

"Wow.." House said softly letting go of her and pulling back.

She turned her head looking back at him, "I'm not asking this to hurt you House, I'm asking because I want to know how you viewed what was happening."

He gave her a cold stare, "And I guess you already have an opinion about what kind of relationship I had with my father. So tell me Cuddy, how would you describe my relationship with my father?"

Cuddy frowned, "I'm not going to pretend I know exactly how your family was or that I understand the relationship you had with your father. All I know for sure is that it sounds very unconventional. And what I think about your family doesn't really matter, at the end of the day what matters is how you feel about them."

House swallowed, "He was my father, we had good time and bad time. He disciplined me the same ways he was disciplined and spent countless hours training me to be stronger. I'm not going to lie, I didn't always like him, but I ALWAYS respected him." He said as he wrapped her back up in his arms.

She was happy to be snuggled up against him again and even though his answer hadn't been what she thought it would be, it did give her greater insight into the relationship. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I'll take truth."

He looked down at her dark brown hair, "How do you feel about me and what's going on with us?"

Cuddy bit her lips some as she thought about that. "Does it really matter how I feel, is it going to change anything?"

House frowned and let out a deep sigh, "Lisa, I've told you that this is how it has to be at the moment but that doesn't mean I don't care about how you feel."

"You care, just not enough to actually change anything. You can tell Wilson what's going on and your mother figured it out and the world didn't end House, but for some reason you act like it will if you tell me. Then you hold me close and act like you want something but the first time I make a move to take it farther you start crawling backwards." She said releasing some pent up aggravation.

He let go of her then pulled back from her and she turned around looking at him with accusing eyes. "Nothing about this is an act. I do want more, and the reason I can't tell you isn't because I'm afraid you can't handle it." He said slowly looking away from her. "Lisa... I... can't... handle this. Not right now." He looked back at her, "I was a wreck when I told Wilson, otherwise I probably wouldn't have, and my mom figured it out on her own. This is something I need to have time to process before I hand it off to anyone else."

"And exactly how long is it going to take for you process this House? It's been six weeks since you were attacked! You going to take another six weeks.. or maybe six month... or even better how about a year House? Is that long enough for you to process?" Cuddy said finally letting go. "You have no idea what it's like to be the person who's scared to death waiting to hear something. You're the one that gets in wrecks and that has the freak incidents, like getting shot, have an infarction at 36, electrocuting yourself for an experiment, the DBS, stopping breathing because you were taking Alzheimer medicine, and being attacked in your home by soldiers. Wilson and me are the ones that always have to put in the time waiting and worrying. You always have all the answer's House and I'm sick of having to wait for answers."

House wanted to tell her that he knew a lot about waiting. He'd worked and wait to be able to walk without the cane but it never happened, and right now he was waiting to try limping again and to see if he was HIV positive. "I never asked you to wait for me. I didn't ask you to be sitting beside me when I woke up from the DBS... that was your decision. We hadn't been dating long before I was attacked, you don't owe it to me to be here for me. You can walk and I won't hold it against you, if that's what you want."

She looked at his scarred neck and then back in his eyes. "I can't walk away from you, if I could then this wouldn't be so hard. If I wanted to walk away from you I would have when you dumped me at the hospital room. I care about you Greg and that isn't something I can or want to walk away from. I said it was hard... I didn't say that you weren't worth it."

He looked at her as if trying to figure something out, "Then why don't you love me?" He asked softy. Her eyes widened at the question and then saddened as her mouth opened. "Never mind... I don't want to know." He said quickly turning on his back away from her, "I'll take dare."

Cuddy was still in shock over his question. He'd said he didn't want to know, which should have been a relieve but it wasn't, because it wasn't until he asked it that she realized she didn't know the answer herself. She looked at him laying on his back, watching his adam's apple bob as he swallowed and thought about what Cameron had said. "I should go."

House wished he'd kept his mouth shut. He knew she was leaving because of what he'd said. He looked over at her as she had set up on the bed. "Yeah, you can't afford to stay any longer, and pay rent." He said giving her a smirk.

She gave him a smile, "Oh this wasn't a game of skill, you were just lucky, like you always are."

"Yeah... Lucky, that sounds like me," He said sarcastically.

Cuddy swallowed as she looked at him, "So I'll pay up tomorrow when I come in to work, since I don't have a habit of keeping twelve hundred in cash on me."

House smiled evilly, "You're lucky I'm a nice guy. A lesser man wouldn't let you leave until you'd paid up, one way or another."

She swatted his arm as she got out of the bed. She gathered up her stuff and looked at him to find his eyes following her. "All joking aside, I really do like spending time with you and you mean a lot to me."

He felt his chest become warm at her words, "Ditto," he said with a soft smile.

Cuddy smiled at his reference to Ghost and left, but all the way to the car, and the drive home, and laying in bed, she thought about his question.


	71. Chapter 71: Friendly Therapy :

_I'm so glad to get this chapter up, I was really trying to make it a good one. This chapter I wanted to give a special shout out to Rhastahippy for giving me the idea of using one of the therapy sessions to dig deeper into House and Wilson's relationship. I hope that this was something like what you had in mind. If anyone thinks there is a really good opportunity to go into their relationship even more in a different direction, let me know. You may have noticed I didn't offically end the session yet, that was for a reason. I've said this before, but now that I have a some more people reading I wanted to remind everyone that I'm still open to ideas of what you would like House to discuss in therapy. I do plan on really trying to keep the therapy sessions in the story, so let me know. Also I was thinking of having House read some of Oma's letters at night... let me know what you think about it. Once again thank you so very much for continuing to read (as my husband's named it) the story that never seems to end. I do very much appreciate it and as always I love to know what you think and your opinions about what I could to do better the story line. Nicole_

House woke up Thursday morning with dread. It had finally come, the day he would have to explain his weird eating habits to Wilson. Monday night he'd bought dinner for the two of them at a nice restaurant but hadn't been able to eat more than half the meal before he recognized the anxious nauseous feeling. Wilson had bought his lunch on Tuesday which he ate all of and then he'd cooked him dinner that night, which House had managed to eat two helpings of. Yesterday he brought some of the left over from lunch, but Wilson wasn't able to eat with him, he ate right at two thirds of the meal and that night Wilson had bought dinner for them, so he ate fine. House had been trying to come up with a amount of money that he could have transferred into Wilson's account every month to refund him for the food he bought him. So far the number he'd come up with was 750, which he thought was fair. He figured that this was the best solution until he gained a good amount of weight and had worked though physical therapy.

Speaking of physical therapy House had been quite surprised when Wilson didn't throw a hissy fit when he found out that House had worked his legs out over the weekend. Wilson was actually supportive of House continuing the work outs. He'd agreed to House working his upper body every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday leaving Tuesday and Thursday open for him working his legs. House could already tell a difference in his arms and as of yesterday he'd been able to get in and out of the wheelchair on his own again. Although Wilson insisted on helping him in and out of the shower still.

House used the restroom and brushed his teeth, then rolled out to find Wilson waiting for him.

"Get changed and we can have a bowl of cereal before we go today, remember you need to keep up your energy since you're working out now." Wilson chirped, obviously in a good mood.

House didn't see how someone could be that happy this early in the morning. "Why are you so happy? Did you get laid last night after I went to bed?"

Wilson laughed, "Believe it or not House, sex isn't the only thing that makes me happy. Now go get changed already."

House rolled his eyes as he rolled into his room and changed out of his sleep clothes. When he rolled back out Wilson already had his bowl fixed with Coco Pebbles, while Wilson's bowl was full of Honey Bunches of Oats. They ate and House took his pills then they were off to work.

Cuddy was waiting outside her office when she saw her target roll in. "House, I need to see you in my office." She said holding the door to her office open.

Wilson smiled at House, "What did you do this time?"

House sighed, "Nothing, which is the problem. I'd file sexual harassment charges if it wasn't soooo much paper work."

"Sure House," Wilson said walking on as House rolled into her office. Nathan got the other door for both of them.

Cuddy leaned against the desk with crossed arms and House sighed, "Alright, what's this about? I want to make it quick because my soaps start in ten minutes and I was hoping to squeeze in saving a patients' life before lunch."

She raised an eyebrow, "Well that would certainly explain why you took the easiest case yesterday afternoon. That's not like you, is something wrong?"

He hadn't really thought she'd notice, "If it's an easy case then why did you put it in the cases for me to choose from?"

"It's not easy. I don't know what's wrong with the woman, but it was easy for you. I asked Dr. Foreman today how the case was going and he said you already knew what was wrong with her but that you were playing games with them yesterday trying to get them to figure it out for themselves. He said that you seemed to know the answer as soon as you looked at the file. So once again I'm going to ask you why you picked the case. You usually want... no NEED a challenge, I'm concerned about you." Cuddy said letting her arms drop to her sides.

House swallowed as he looked in her caring eyes, "I figured I had enough challenges going on right now. Plus it's a great exercise for the team, to help me evaluate how they work without being distracted by the idea of someones life hanging on the line. And before you even ask I'm not an idiot I already tested the woman, under a different name of course, to see if she had what I thought it was and she does."

Cuddy nodded, "Good, so waiting for treatment isn't going to make her worse?"

"Nope, well not permanently. She'll be fine." He said confidently.

"Speaking of challenges, this is the big day isn't it?" She asked waiting for him to respond but he didn't. "You said you were going to tell Wilson about your eating disorder today in therapy, you're still going to tell him, right?" He nodded and she sighed, "I'm glad you took an easier case, I know that having this conversation isn't going to be easy for you and I'm sure it's weighing heavy on your mind."

House shrugged, he wasn't going to admit how nervous he was about this talk, "It's not a big deal. It's just talking, not like I'm going into surgery or anything."

"Well either way, I wanted to wish you luck," Cuddy said not believing the casual shrug. "I heard the workouts have been going well too."

He grinned, "Sorry no peeks of my buff new muscles quite yet."

She smirked back, "Yet? Now that sounds like I might be in for a treat later."

"Maybe, if you're good that is," House said smugly.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "You wouldn't know what good is." She said holding the door open for him as he rolled out.

"Tattle tail!" House said loudly as he rolled in the door to the DDX room looking at Foreman.

Foreman rolled his eyes, "Dr. Cuddy was worried about the patient and asked where we were on finding a diagnoses. I didn't tattle I told her the truth."

"So you told her that you are all morons and that your genius boss is actually making you work for the answer this time?" House said rolling to take his place at the table.

"I for one am not a moron, I know what's wrong with her." Thirteen said glancing at House with a smile.

House looked her up and down, "Well don't keep the rest of the class in anticipation, spill it."

Her smile grew, "She's got Urethritis. If we assume that she lied about having sex, it would account for how she got it and all of her symptoms."

House gave a frustrated sigh, "You're right," he said and everyone looked at him and started getting up. "You're not a moron, you're an idiot. There is a difference... idiot sounds more feminine. You need to remember that people are idiots about their own bodies and people lie. So stick with the tawdry sex and keep thinking."

"You ever consider that actually helping us instead of mocking us might help more. There's a woman who is scared half way to death and you're playing a game with her life and healthcare." Taub said with irritation.

"I'm not mock you,even though I could. I'm mocking your diagnoses because they're lame and most importantly wrong, but part of my job is making you and the rest of this team into better doctors and that involves letting you figure things out for yourselves. I think you have a better shot of that if you actually worry more about the case and less about what I'm not doing." House said with a smile as he rolled over to his office door. "Don't bother me unless you have a good idea about what's wrong with the patient."

House was watching his soaps on the TV when Wilson walked in and received only an irritated glance from House. "I can see that you're super busy right now, but I was thinking we should leave since I'd like to get something to eat before your appointment." Wilson said condescendingly.

"How is it that they haven't figured this out yet? It's simple." House said turning off the TV and looking a Wilson for an answer.

Wilson shrugged, "Maybe that's the problem, they're so used to looking for the abnormal they've started overlooking the simple things."

"That's not it! They assume that they know things that they don't know! I don't know why they assume that, I've taught them not to assume they know things, but they do." He sighed heavily.

Wilson wanted to get into a discussion about this but his stomach was aching, "We can talk about your team over lunch. I'm starving."

House rolled his eyes as his wheeled out of the room, "You don't know what starving is."

They were finally sitting in a small Mexican restaurant right across from New Jersey Medical and Wilson was eating the chips and salsa to calm his stomach. "So, your team hasn't figured out this case as quickly as you did. That's normal, what isn't is you being so pissy about it." Wilson said between eating chips.

House grabbed the chip he saw Wilson about to go for and then dipped it and ate the whole thing in one bite while watching Wilson. "I'm not pissy. I just don't understand how they can be so stupid. It's like they don't listen to anything I say."

Wilson raised an eyebrow as he ate another chip, "You mean like you always assume you're right?"

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "I don't assume, I'm confident because when I get a patient file I don't just assume everything in it is a fact."

Wilson scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Everyone assumes things House. You can't ignore everything in the file. Past medical history, medication, and patient histories are important in coming up with a diagnoses."

"So you're saying that doctors never make mistakes, that patients always list everything they've taken, they take their prescribed medications as directed, and that every patient tells you the truth about themselves? Because SURPRISINGLY that hasn't been my experience as a doctor." House said sarcastically.

"You know what, don't listen to me. Obviously I'm just like the rest of the idiots that surround you House. You're right... as always." Wilson said irritation.

House's face became more serious, "So tell me, if my method is wrong how is it that I save most of my patients?"

"You get lucky! And you have a very good team." Wilson said without hesitation.

House looked Wilson straight in the eyes, "So you think I'm a bad doctor?"

Wilson sighed and licked his lips, "Lets just say I don't think you're as good as you think you are." House's eyes stayed on Wilson's as his face remained unmoved and that unnerved Wilson. "No one is as good as you think you are." Wilson said looking at the chips.

House refused to let Wilson know how deep his words had cut him. There were three reasons that House was trying get through this and the top reason was the idea that he actually had something to offer the world as a doctor that was unique. The second was for Wilson, because he felt like he owed it to Wilson to try since he was sacrificing so much to help. The third was a long shot, it was the slim chance that Cuddy and him had a chance later on, if he was HIV negative. House picked at his plate eating a little under half the food on it.

"You need to eat more," Wilson said as he looked at House's plate. The fact House hadn't said anything since Wilson had said that he wasn't as good as he thought he was hadn't gone unnoticed.

House wanted to ask why? Why did Wilson care if he ate if he was just some crappy, arrogant doctor, but instead he just pushed the plate away. "I'm full."

Wilson's lip twitched as he thought about reminding House that he needed to gain weight and keep up his strength while he was working out. But Wilson really didn't want to get in an argument with House right before he went to therapy, and he also felt like that might be part of the reason House wasn't eating as much, nerves. "Maybe you should listen to your team more, it's possible they feel the same way about you." He said as he paid the ticket.

"Maybe," House said flatly rolling out to the car.

The short ride and parking at New Jersey Medical there had been an awkward silence hanging in the air, and as soon as House was in the chair he quickly headed off. Wilson caught up to him in the waiting room. "Did you let the secretary know your were here for your appointment?"

House was irritated by the implication that he was too stupid to know to let the secretary know he was there, but he just nodded in response.

Dr. Ryan walked out of her office and smiled at House. "Greg, I'm ready for you." House rolled over to her but she didn't move out of the way of the door. "You were supposed to have something for me, something you said you would do last session." House grabbed his backpack off his wheelchair and unzipped a pocket then pulled out a metal box and got a key out of shoe to unlock it and finally pulled out a couple of pages of paper, which he handed her. She noticed he avoided her eyes and quickly put ever thing back up. "Dr. Wilson, or James, which ever you prefer. It's time to start." She said beckoning him.

Wilson got up with confusion as House rolled in the office and he walked over to Dr. Ryan. "Is there something you need me to do?"

She gave him an confused look then looked over to House who had his wheelchair facing her even thought he was staring at his hands in his lap. "Greg, did you still want to include James in our session today? If you don't want to that fine."

House shrugged, "It's fine."

Wilson was surprised that House wanted him to sit in on a session, and then he started getting worried about what it was that House wanted to discuss. "You could have given me some notice if you wanted me to sit in on the session. You know it's actually possible that I could have other plans on how to spend this time."

"Fine, if you have plans or just don't want to do this than that's fine with me." House said looking at him.

Dr. Ryan was intrigued by the relationship the two men seemed to share. Wilson spoke to House more as if he was scolding a child and the fact that House didn't act surprised meant that it was usual, which would make Wilson the dominate in the relationship.

"I didn't say I had plans, and of course I want to do this for you, especially if it helps. I would have just appreciated some notice." Wilson said as his frustration was fading and he walked in and sat in a chair across from House.

Dr. Ryan walked in watching the two men looking at each other anxiously but at the same time neither of them seemed to be in much of a hurry to start talking. She didn't want to push the conversation, so she skimmed thought the detailed punishments House had given her. Some were surprising and others were things she expected until she got to the last page that is. Her face worried more and more with each sentence she read and at the end of it she wasn't sure what astounded her more, the fact he'd actually written it or that it had happened. She looked back up to see House watching her and Wilson watching House. "Greg, after you've discussed things with James, I think we should have a talk about some of this." She said barely shaking the pages. "Especially the last page."

"That's not necessary," House said looking at the pages.

"I really think it is," Dr. Ryan said giving him an imploring look.

Wilson looked at House to see his jaw tighten and scoffed, "I knew it. You're not really going to try with this therapy."

She noticed the emotion leaving House's face as a cold sense of calm took it's place, and cold calculating eyes, he honestly had one of the best poker faces.

"It's not something I'm ready to discuss." House said in a way that sounded both casual yet unwavering as he looked at Wilson.

Wilson ran a hand through his hair as he shook his head. "And when will you be House? You have an answer to that?" He asked as House made no indication that he had any intention of answering. Wilson gave House a disappointed smile, "Of course you don't, because you don't ever plan on discussing it with her, do you? I knew you wouldn't take this seriously."

Dr. Ryan usually held her tongue when she did double sessions, so that she could better understand the relationship between the people, but this wasn't a normal relationship. Yes in friendships there was always one person slightly more dominate then the other, but the show of dominance Wilson projected and the submissiveness House portrayed was different from that. It was a lot more like the dominance a parent had over their child. She had gotten the idea that House highly valued the relationship he had with Wilson but if wasn't until watching them together that she realized it was more than that, he was scared of losing it. "James, I assure you he has been making real progress. The fact that he would even write what he did lets me know he is really trying to open up, but it will take time and pushing him to talk about things before he'd ready wont help him to being open and trusting. Just as I can't force you to be supportive and patient with him, neither me or you can make him talk about something he's not comfortable with." She could tell Wilson was taken aback by her statement and she glanced to see a look of awe on Houses face, and questioning eyes. She imagined that not many people had taken up for him, and gave him a smile. "You can talk about it whenever your ready Greg, there's no pressure." House nodded.

Wilson was irritated, she didn't know House like he did. House wasn't fragile, he needed a good push every now and then. Also if she thought he wasn't supportive and patient then she didn't know who she was dealing with. House was the most impatient person Wilson knew and he wasn't even sure House had a concept of what supportive was. He was irritated but he'd play by her rules in her office. "So Greg, would you like to tell me why you wanted me here today?" He said with a smile.

House was surprised by the use of his first name but figured he wasn't anymore surprised then Wilson was finding out about the session. "I thought my appetite was controlled by my pain and nausea, but evidently it's not. Well, it is in a way, my want to eat is controlled by the nausea, but it isn't controlled by the pain." He said then swallowed at Wilson's confused face. "My father fed me, almost all of my meals during my childhood. I wasn't allowed to eat anything he didn't give me and if I did I was forced to throw it up." He looked down, "He also used food as a way of punishing me."

Wilson could see that this all meant something to House but he didn't see where he fitted in the story. "I hate that you were treated that way by HIM, but I don't understand why you're telling me this?"

House looked back up at him and sighed, "Don't you get it? You're him, my father. You feed me now, and I can eat most of my food when you give it to me, hell I eat even more when you eat with me. I have problems eating food I get for myself because I was only allowed to eat what was given to me before."

"First of all I'm NOT HIM, I'll never be like HIM, you understand that?" Wilson said while giving House and intense look. House nodded and Wilson thought a little more about what House had said. "So you eat better when I give you food and you like eating with me because it reminds you of when you were allowed to eat with your family, that's okay. I like eating with you too House."

"You like eating with me because that's normal, because we're friends. I NEED you to buy my meals and give them to me, I NEED you to eat with me because I'm so fucked up that I actually make myself sick otherwise. That's not NORMAL." House said looking down. "I shouldn't need you like this, or at all."

Wilson looked at House with worry as he figured out the real problem. His eyes softened, "It's okay to need people House, everyone does. I'm not going to use it against you, you can trust me." He said gently.

House shook his head giving Wilson a look of disbelief, "What's wrong with you? A grown man tells you he needs you to buy his meals and eat with him and you act like it's nothing, you don't even question it."

"What do you want me to do?" Wilson asked.

"Quit letting me use you, demand that I at least pay you for the meals," House said loudly with frustration.

"Fine, House I demand you pay me for the meals," Wilson said watching him.

House chewed his lip some, "Alright, how about $500 a month?"

Wilson narrowed his eyes on House, "Nope, not enough."

House was more impressed, "Okay, you're right. Lets call it $750."

Wilson shook his head, "No, I might be able to agree on $1000 a month though."

"What $1000 a month? Are you crazy? There is no way that my food cost you a thousand dollars a month. I'd rather starve." House said with narrowed eyes on Wilson.

Wilson smiled, "You said you wanted me to question you and be demanding, but I think I could live with $750."

House grinned evilly at Wilson, "You're one hardcore Jew to actually try and make a friend pay more because they're mentally off."

Wilson was about to say something when his phone beeped with a text message.

The Diagnostic team was back in the DDX room looking at the white board trying to figure out what was missing.

"What is he seeing that we're not?" Foreman said as he walked over to the white board.

Kutner sighed laying down the file, "Who knows? He keeps saying that it isn't about what we don't know it's what we think we know, so I think something on that board has to go."

Taub looked at the board, "Well we have that she's a woman, maybe she had a sex change ten years ago."

"That's possible," Kutner said with a lifted eyebrow.

"It was a joke," Taub said back flatly.

"Hey, any of you know who that is?" Foreman asked with a serious face as he looked at an older man dressed in military wear walk up to House's office door and knock.

"No, should we?" Kutner said looking back at Foreman.

Foreman looked at the man knocking with a glare, "Nope," he said as he got up and opened the DDX door. "Dr. House isn't in, is there something I can help you with?"

The man looked disappointed, "No, but thank you for asking. It's Dr. House I was needing to see."

Foreman didn't trust the man at all, even if he looked to be older than House it didn't mean that this guy couldn't be dangerous. He smiled at the man, "He might be out for a while, if you want to leave a number I'll be sure he gets it."

"That's good of you but I was really wanting to see him in person, I know he isn't much of a phone person. I'll just wait for him to get back, when you get to be as old as I am you aren't in any real hurry." The man said and sat down in a chair that was sitting against the wall.

"Suit yourself," Foreman said to the man not happy to be having a military man sitting outside of House's office. He closed the door and walked back to the table looking at the man the whole time.

"You're acting like this guy is some terrorist, since when do you have a problem with a guy in military clothes?" Taub asked watching Foreman.

Foreman and Thirteen exchanged glances, he nodded and she sighed. "The men that attacked House that night in his home, they weren't just random people. They were soldiers." Thirteen whispered.

Everyone but Foreman was watching Thirteen. Taub frowned, "Why would soldiers go after House, it makes no sense?"

Foreman glance at Taub, "It does if they were embarrassed to have there ass handed to them by a man twice their age in a full Hospital lobby." He looked back at the guy sitting outside keeping is volume low. "The guy that hit Cuddy and House beat the shit out of, he's the one that set it up."

Kutner looked at the guy outside with more interest, "House is out with Wilson. They were suppose to have lunch and then Wilson mentioned something about an appointment."

"What do you do, stalk the man?" Thirteen asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I just listen, he's an interesting person. It's not like I'm sleeping with a co-worker." Kutner said giving her a knowing look.

Taub looked around at the silent table and rolled his eyes, "I hate to break the tension in the room, but shouldn't we let Cuddy know there's someone dressed up in army garb sitting outside House's office?"

Foreman stood up, "I'll go talk to her about it, see if there is something we can do." With that said Foreman was gone and soon in Cuddy's office.

"Hello Foreman, what's the problem?" Cuddy said as she sat down at her desk and he sat down.

Foreman gave her a smile and sighed, "A man came looking for House today and he's decided to sit outside his office until he returns."

Cuddy gave a half smile, "Probably just some pissed of patient wanting to tell him that they're suing."

He shrugged, "Maybe, of course there was that one time a guy came asking around about House and shot him not even ten feet from me."

She swallowed, "Did this guy looked armed or say something threateningly?"

Foreman's face looked more worried, "No... but he's decked out in military clothing." He could see that scared her. "He's an older guy, but still after what happened to House the last time soldiers were around, I don't trust him around House."

"Neither do I," Cuddy said thinking, "I can't kick him out thought, not without a reason." She was silent for a moment, "I'll let Wilson know not to bring House back here today. Thank you Dr. Foreman for letting me know about the situation."

Foreman gave a pleased smile, "You're welcome Dr. Cuddy," he said and left.

Cuddy got out her phone the second Foreman left and texted Wilson. _Wilson do not bring House back to the Hospital. It isn't safe, there's a soldier waiting for him outside his office. Get him to your place._ As she pressed the send button she sat down staring at the phone.

Wilson read the text and responded quickly knowing that Cuddy must be freaking out like he was on the inside. _Don't worry I'll make sure he's safe. As soon as the session is over I'll get him to my place._

"James, I'm sorry to impose but I do ask that my patients and their guests not to use there cell phones during sessions." Dr. Ryan said sweetly while looking at the phone in his hand.

Wilson nodded and put it away, "Sorry."

"Thank you James." She said and looked back at House. "Greg, why does it bother you so much to need someone, like James, in your life?" House looked at her and then at Wilson with some hesitation. "If you don't feel comfortable talking about this with Wilson here that's okay, but I think trying to talk about it with him here could help both of you."

He took a deep breath, "It makes me feel... weak."

She nodded, "How many people would you say that you've needed in your life? I'm not talking about doctors." She clarified watching him.

House licked his lips, "My parents."

"Anyone else?" Dr. Ryan asked and he shook his head. She gave him a minute. "So, the only man you've ever really depended on in your life was your father, until now." He nodded. "And even though you trusted your father and depended on him, he hurt you."

"That wasn't the reason he did what he did. He was trying to help me to be better, be stronger." House said quickly looking at her with some irritation.

"But to do that, he hurt you, he caused you physical pain." Dr. Ryan said not backing down but speaking softer.

House swallowed, "Yes."

"Has Wilson ever hurt you, emotionally or physically?" She asked casually.

House looked at Wilson and then back at her with a tightened jaw, "No."

She frowned, "Never, that's hard to believe."

Wilson swallowed, "I've hurt him before, it wasn't on purpose, but it's happened."

Dr. Ryan gave Wilson a smile, "Thank you James. Greg, why did you lie?"

House looked at Wilson and her and his face reddened some, "They were just small thing, they don't matter."

Dr. Ryan leaned closer toward House, "Then you would have said that, but you lied. You've talk about how much you hate lies, so please be honest with me. Why did you feel the need to lie Greg?"

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Because my father taught me to lie when he hurt me, he said that they would take me away, and I was so bad no one else would want me." He said softly and swallowed, "But James... he's not like my dad, and I know you can't take me away, but I don't want you to not like him. He's a good person."

She smiled and sat back in her chair, putting a hand on Wilson's shoulder, "I know he is Greg. I'm not going dislike him because he's hurt you on accident sometimes. Friends hurt each other, it happens. Can you tell me all the times he's physically hurt you, and try looking at him when you name them."

House looked at Wilson with anxious intense eyes, "The two times he got me to detox cold turkey. The time he left me at that bar on Parker St. and I had to walk home because I didn't have my phone or wallet. The time you tried to massage my thigh hurt like hell. The DBS."

"Good," Dr. Ryan said pleased that House had actually used the word 'you' when talking to Wilson rather than the distancing word 'he' that he'd been using earlier. "Now the same thing, but I want to recall the times he's emotionally hurt you."

House ran his hand up and down his thigh with anxiety and Wilson gave him a smile and a reassuring nod. "It's okay."

He swallowed, "The time you slept with Stacy. The time you said that our friendship didn't mean anything to me because I didn't do Vogler's speech. All of the six times you said I was just a miserable person who makes everyone around me miserable too. The time I came to you when I realized the Ketamine treatment wasn't working and you acted like I wasn't trying hard enough. When you ratted me out to Tritter and then refused to even give me something to help stop the nausea when I was detoxing. The time you walked away after... I'd attempted suicide. The fact that you could even ask me to do the DBS after my cranial injuries, and everything that happened after Amber died until you finally decided to be my friend again. Today, when you implied I wasn't a good doctor, that I just got lucky and had a good team."

Dr. Ryan looked at Wilson who was still looking at House with wonder. "You look surprised." She stated.

Wilson looked at her blinking as he thought more about the things he'd said to House in the past. "I didn't think I'd hurt him that much." He looked back at House, "Today... what I said really hurt you?"

House shrugged and looked at the floor, "Being a great doctor is the only thing that makes me... worth anything to the world."

"Why do you say that?" She asked looking at him.

"I don't have a family, no one needs me for anything except a doctor." House said with a sigh.

"That's not true. I need you in my life." Wilson said looking at him. He was honestly surprised how good this therapist was with him.

House looked up at him with disbelief, "For what?"

Wilson tilted his head, "Do you really not see what all you do for me? You're always there for me, even when you don't agree with my decisions. When I decided to donate part of my liver, who was there? You watch out for me House when others try to take advantage of my guilt. You care enough to tell me when I'm about to make a mistake because you actually care about my happiness, like the cheating. You allow me to help you so I feel good about myself, even when you don't really need the help. You risked your life to safe a woman I'd only know five months. You have made yourself look like a complete idiot just to make me laugh." Wilson felt his eyes watering up and looked down, "The only reason I said what I did today, wasn't because it was true, it's because I'm jealous." He looked back up meeting House's eyes, "I'm jealous because you were right. Even strung out, haven't slept for day and puking every hour you still out diagnosed me House, and you always will. I'm sorry if what I said hurt you Greg, because the only reason I said it was because it's hard living in your towering shadow." He said looking back down at the floor.

House was staring at Wilson with bewilderment and Dr. Ryan smiled, "Greg, would you like to say something?" She asked but he shook his head slightly still looking at Wilson with the same intense stare. She wrote some stuff down and looked back up to find House still looking at Wilson obviously in some thought. "Greg, I want you to try and respond to what James said."

House was still looking at Wilson, "That's not a good idea, I wont say the right thing."

"You don't know until you try," She said watching him.

House looked at him, "I don't believe him." He said to see Wilson look up at him with surprise. "I mean you didn't need me for any of those things. There are at least twenty people who would do any of those things for you except the DBS, and that's because I'm crazy, which isn't a good trait. You don't need me Wilson, you never have."

Both Dr. Ryan and Wilson looked at House as if trying to figure the man out. "House... I do need you in my life even if you don't believe it." Wilson said with honest eyes.

House sighed, "No you don't NEED me, you WANT me in your life, and that really does mean a lot to me. I still don't understand why you want me in your life when you could be friends with anyone else, but I'm glad you do. Needing someone though... it's different. If I died, you'd be sad and then you'd make more friends and be fine, which is normal. If you died today I would be depressed, I'd have a hard time eating, I'd have to hire someone to help take care of me and help me in therapy, and because of the eating I'd probably never get out of the chair. And if I never got out of the chair the depression would only worsen and the eating would decrease more, so I'd cut myself off even more from people and probably end up dead one way or another."

Wilson's mouth was hanging open as he listened to House and when he stopped Wilson swallowed. "Okay, so I just have to be sure to never die. Sound's easy enough," He said casually to House.

House half smiled, "It would be preferable at least until I'm limping along that is. Then you can die anytime you want, not that I'll be hoping for it or anything."


	72. Chapter 72: O'Neil of Honor

Dr. Ryan was getting even more intrigued by their relationship and how far House took his truths. "I know that both of you value this friendship, so I wanted to try an exercise. I want both of you to name something about the other person: that you know but don't think that they do, that you find hard to accept, and that you admire. I really want you to think about your answers and to stay away from the physical and dive more into the inner person. James would you like to start?" She asked politely.

Wilson nodded and looked at House. "I know you're not an addict. It's hard to accept how little you think of yourself as a person. I admire your honesty."

House wasn't surprised by Wilson's answers. "I know that the reason you keep have a repeating dream of having a dog that gets out when you're not paying attention and gets ran over, is because you think I'm your responsibility and am afraid that you'll miss something and one day I'll end up dead. I have a hard time accepting how much you let people take advantage of you. I admire your optimism."

Dr. Ryan smiled, "So Greg, were you surprised by any of James's answers?"

"No, but I'm beginning to think he could be right about the addiction thing." House said looking from her to Wilson.

She noticed Wilson seemed happy about this, "James, did any of Greg's answers surprise you?"

Wilson was still smiling, "Yeah, I'd never thought about the dog representing House in my dream."

"Man's best friend," House quipped.

Wilson chuckled, "I can see that. I really always thought you hated my optimism though."

House sighed, "I don't hate it, I envy it. The kind of things that have happened in my life... they've made it difficult to hope, or maybe I never was all that hopeful to begin with, I'm not sure anymore, but I am glad that you still have hope."

Dr. Ryan was glad the session was ending on a happy note. "Well, I think we're done today." She said standing. "James, it was great to have you today and Greg, I'll be looking forward to seeing you next Thursday."

Wilson got up and shook her hand, "The pleasure was all mine and I wanted to let you know that I think you're wonderful with him."

She smiled, "Thank you," she said and he walked out with House following.

It didn't take House long to realized something was up. "Okay, I'm finally getting curious. Where are you taking me?"

"Home," Wilson said as if it was the most natural think in the world. He looked over at House to see him looking displeased by the news. "Oh yeah, I didn't tell you. That text I got was from the landlord, evidently they've been doing some work to the gas pipes and they need to check all to apartments for gas leaks."

House raised an eyebrow, "And you were hoping to get there before they did and hide your porn?"

Wilson tried to keep the smile off his face, "Decent people keep it hidden to begin with, so to answer your question, no. In the rental contract it states that no one is allowed to enter the apartment without the tenant or a representative for the tenant there. Since I have a full evening of patients to see and you only have the one case which you've already solved, you get to be my representative and wait for them."

House's eyes looked at the dashboard in thought as his tongue ran over his teeth. "What about Cuddy? She's not going to be happy with me for not keeping to the schedule." He said hoping to get out of sitting at the house.

Wilson barely stopped himself from saying she was fine with it. He'd just remembered he'd only received one text and House would have realized he was lying. "She'll have to be."

House seemed to pout some to that response and thought more, "And what about my workout today, it was leg day?" He saw a hint of guilt in Wilson's eyes even thought Wilson was watching the road and decide to push that farther. "I can't just miss days, you know how important it is to stick to a strict schedule when you're trying to build back muscle."

Wilson sighed heavily, "I'm sorry House, but someone has to be there and I can't cancel all my appointments. You can work legs tomorrow and I'll bring you up Saturday so that you can do your upper body workout."

"Or you could just tell the landlord to go in without anyone there and we could both go back to work and I would be able to stick to my workout schedule." House said with irritation.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "House I know that rules don't matter to you, but some people take them pretty seriously, like my landlord. I'm taking you to the apartment to wait for the gas man to check the pipes and that's final."

"I'm taking you to wait for the fart man so he can fondle the pipes and that's final" House mocked in a motherly tone and then stuck his tongue out at Wilson as they pulled in the apartment parking lot.

111

Cuddy was both curious and anxious as she walked down the hall to see an older man sitting in a chair. He was sitting straight looking at the door to House's office. She swallowed, she wanted to make this seem casual. "Hello Sir, is there something I can help you with," she said giving him a confused look and keeping her voice soft and sweet.

The old man stood up and gave her a smile, "No ma'am, thank you for asking though. I'm just waiting to see Lieutenant... I'm sorry, I mean Dr. Gregory House. The name's Tucker O'Neil."

The man seemed nice, but she still had her guard up. "Nice to meet you Mr. O'Neil, my name is Dr. Cuddy. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but Dr. House isn't going to be in today."

O'Neil looked slightly disappointed but looked her straight in the eyes. "Dr. Cuddy, I wanted to apologize on the behalf of the entire United States Armed Forces. I'm personally ashamed of how you were treated by the late Mr. Young and would be honored if you'd allow me take you to lunch."

Cuddy was stunned, the man truly looked sorry for what had happened to her. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Please Dr. Cuddy, don't judge all soldiers based off of a couple of bad seeds actions. I really would appreciate the chance to buy you lunch in the cafeteria and it would be nice to have some company, especially company as beautiful as you are." O'Neil said honestly hoping he would get a chance to show her that he wasn't like the soldiers that hurt her or House.

She took a deep breath. Who could say no to that, not to meantion even though it was already 3:30 she hadn't had time to eat. "Well, if you insist."

He gave her a charming smile, "I do."

"Alright, but I'll warn you the food's not very good," Cuddy said and started leading the way.

O'Neil followed, "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Soon they were both sitting at one of the booths in a far corner of the cafeteria which was mainly empty at this hour. There were only six other people. It made Cuddy wonder if she'd made the right call as she realized that she was alone with him.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Dr. Cuddy." He said as if reading her mind.

"I didn't say that you were," Cuddy said giving him and small smile.

O'Neil smiled, "I couldn't help but notice that you've counted the people in this room at least five time and made note of the closest exits. I say I couldn't help but take notice because we're taught to watch for things like that in the Marines." He sighed as he could see he'd only made her more nervous. "I'm really sorry about what happened to you."

"Thank you for the apology but what I really want to know, is what do you want with House?" She asked taking a bite of her chicken salad to cover up her nerves.

She confirmed what he'd thought, they were keeping House away from him because they saw him as a threat. He'd seen it on Dr. Foreman's face and even though Dr. Cuddy hadn't given it way so quickly her words did. "Dr. House was in my boot camp and basic training when he was in the Marines, and he was even in my unit afterword until he was given his own unit, but more than that, we were friends. I heard that he... was recently hurt and wanted to see how he was doing and reminisce some."

"House wasn't just hurt, he almost didn't make it. He died twice on the table and will have a long recovery process to get back to how he was, if that's even possible." Cuddy said with guarded eyes and an edge to her voice.

O'Neil swallowed, "I didn't know how bad it was, but he's a strong man, of course he'd have to be seeing who his father was."

The bitterness in his voice at the end of the sentence didn't go unnoticed by her. "You knew his father too?"

He gave a harsh chuckle, "EVERYONE knew John House. The man was a real hard ass. I'm sorry, please excuse my language, but that's really what he was. A lot of people respected him at one time I even did, but meeting his son changed that."

"Why?" Cuddy asked with a raised eyebrow, trying to play stupid.

"John was a good solder, and a great pilot, but I don't think he did right by his son. Greg never said that but.." O'Neil paused to unzipped a pocket on a camo bag he was carrying then pulled out a photo, and put it on the table in front of Cuddy, "this is how he came to me. Now, there is a difference between lean and what he was." He said looking at the photo.

Cuddy looked at the picture with unwilling eyes. House was only wearing underwear that he was holding up, he was nothing but bones with some dark bruises. His high cheek bones jutted from his face harshly, and his whole ribcage was exposed through the thin layer of skin that sunk in were the rips ended. His hip bones looked like they were about to beak through the skin and his legs were nothing but bone, the biggest part being his knee joints. She wished she could look away but as hard as it was to look at, she couldn't. He was the thinnest she'd ever seen him at the moment, but compared to the photo he looked fat. O'Neil pulled the picture back.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your appetite," He said softly. "This picture was taken when they were getting his measurement for a uniform, needless to say, his had to be handmade. I'm not sure how John got them to pass him though the physical, I would assume he had some friends in the process. Since the photo is a full body pic you can't see the scars, but there were a lot of them, I wouldn't be surprised if the boy had broken every bone in his body. John... had a temper and it wasn't hard to come to conclusions about how he treated his son, not that Greg would ever admit it."

"Then why did you take him in the Marines?" She asked him seriously.

"I didn't have a choice, he was assigned to my boot camp training. I didn't like it, but honestly I never expected him to make it past the first couple of days. The Marines boot camp is the hardest boot camp of all that armed forces, only about half of the recruits make it through, and the ones that don't usually end up going for another branch of the military and getting in. So when I saw Greg I spoke to my commanding officer about him and was told that I stuck with him and to suck it up. Most people lose around ten pounds in boot camp, but Greg gained 23 pounds of muscle. He rose to every challenge beyond my wildest expectations. While most recruits looked miserable and worn, Greg was acting like it was some kind of vacation paradise. See, he was top in his boot camp." He said putting down a picture of House that showed him standing in the front, next to O'Neil with a line men behind them and his weight looked about like it did now.

Cuddy looked at the picture and back at O'Neil, "I can't help noticing that you call him Greg, not many people call him that."

He smiled, "Why wouldn't I call him Greg, it's his name and we were friends? It was weird though, it's like everyone was afraid to call him by his first name or something, especially after he bulked up in basic training. He always had this calm 'I know what I'm doing' look to him that seemed to intimidate people, but I asked him if he minded if I called him Greg and he said he didn't. I can't remember his exact words, but it was somewhere along the lines of, 'Now there's a concept, someone calling me by my name, good thing too, I almost forgot what it was.'"

She smiled, "That sounds like him. Well it's nice to know he was a smart ass before coming here."

"Yes, and he had the nastiest habit of being stubborn and then right about things, which could be rather annoying at times," O'Neil said with a broad smile. "He was a good boy through with a good heart and the strength he had... well I've never seen anyone have strength like he did. He used to come out to my farm on his off time. We both would take our time off at the same time and he'd stay with me and my family on the farm. I invited him out his second year in, since the year before he'd come back in bad shape from his folks, and he just kept coming every year, which was fine by me the family loved him. He would help me with the farm and my daughters... well they just thought he was all there was. It broke both of their hearts the first year after he left the Marines, they both thought he'd still come in the summer to visit, but he didn't. They still talk about him." For the first time since they'd started talking he frowned sadly.

Cuddy could tell House had meant a lot to the man, "I have a daughter too."

He gave her a small smile, "I'll keep you in my prayers then, because they take patience and a strong heart. My oldest girl was only two years younger than Greg and my youngest was six years younger. The both had their hearts set on him. I thought of him as a son really. He saved both of my little girls lives. Amy when she got kicked in the stomach by a horse and then Sally's when she almost drowned in the river bend." He sighed happily, "Amy stole his first kiss. They were laying out in the back yard one night, they did that a lot because she was interested in astronomy and Greg was teaching her. Well they got to poking at each other and ended up in a tickling match and she made use of her opportunity. She said she kissed him and he kissed her back and then when she leaned back he sat there frozen for a couple of minutes and then bolted to the house. He came in looking so worried and nervous, that I'd thought he was going to be sick, asking to talk to me. The boy almost scared me to death, I'd never seen him like that and then he told me about the kiss. I don't know exactly what he was expecting but I just about died laughing, because he'd acted so upset. I mean the boy was twenty-two and my daughter was twenty, then when I found out it was his first one, I calmed down some and talked to him more. I told him that I would give him my blessing to court Amy but he said that he couldn't on the count that he could never be good enough for her."

She laughed some at the image of a young House freaking out over a kiss. "House has a cockiness about his work, but when it comes to his personal and social life he's never really had much confidence." Another picture landed in front of her. House was young and clean shaven wearing a pair of blue jean with a pair of boots. His chest was bare and bulked with muscle while his arms were hidden with a girl sitting on each one while he looked to be laughing.

"That was his first summer with us, his second year in service. He never saw what the girls saw in him although it was evident to anyone else. And he wasn't just brawn, the kid was smart. Smart really doesn't even cover it, but he knew about almost everything and had a good sense of humor. I use to love to get him laughing because if you get him started and just keep on with some decent jokes he'd get to laughing so hard he'd be rolling. He was a decent man too, had morals and knew how to treat a woman. I never had to question what he because he didn't lie, and even though the truth can be hard to hear 24/7 I respected him for it. Greg was a master at almost everything, but he rubbed a lot of people wrong with his abrasive truths. He never put a soft spin on things, never lessened the blow. So I warned a lot of men not to ask Greg something unless they wanted the straight forward truth, because that's what you were going to get, whether you wanted it or not." O'Neil said

Cuddy sighed, "Yes, I can't say that the patients appreciate his choice of words either." She looked down at the picture, "I don't think I've ever seen a picture of him smiling before."

"He rarely smiled when he was on the base or doing missions, but when he was on the farm it was unusual to not see him smiling." He said looking at the picture.

She looked at her phone to see it was already past four. "It really has been nice talking to you but I've got to get back to work. Next time I see him though, I'll let him know that you were looking for him Mr. O'Neil."

"Please call me Tucker, and thank you for obliging me by keeping me company." O'Neil said getting out of the booth and putting his hand out.

Cuddy smiled at the gesture and shook his hand, "It was my pleasure." She said and gathered what was left of her salad then left.

O'Neil threw away what was left of his food and put the pictures back. He wasn't going to give up on seeing Greg now that he was so close. Ever since Foreman had spoken to him, he'd realized that work might not be the place to do it. They seemed to scared of him and even though he felt the talk with Dr. Cuddy had gone well, he wasn't sure if she trusted him. There was also the possibility that Greg was still in bad shape and recovering. He wasn't even sure that he was working yet, he'd just assumed he would be because Greg hated having nothing to do. But he'd kept his ears open and learned something from listening to the nurses talk. Evidently he was staying with a man named Dr. Wilson, who also worked at the hospital, which meant all he had to do was make a call and he'd have the address.

House was already getting bored waiting for the gas men to show up. So if he was going to have to be bored, he figured he could at least annoy Wilson by telling him how bored he was and called.

"Hello, House is everything okay?" Wilson asked with some concern.

"How long is it going to take for these people to get here," House asked back with irritation.

Wilson rolled his eyes and put up his index finger to the patient in his office to indicate it would only take him a minute. "They should be there within the hour, I've got to go, I've got a patient."

House groaned, "But I'm BORED!"

Wilson rubbed his eyes with his free hand, "I don't know what you expect me to do about it. Just watch some TV or play the guitar or anything but don't call me. I'm working so don't call me unless it's an emergency."

"But I'm BOR..." House stopped as he heard the beeping on the phone indicating that Wilson had hung up and narrowed his eyes on the phone. He grabbed up the guitar and started playing. It had been since before the attack that he'd played last. He still noticed that his fingers didn't seem to want to move as fast as they should. He kept practicing until he was about to break the guitar out of frustration of his fingers when his phone rang.

"What the hell is it!" House yelled while glaring at the guitar.

Cuddy was surprised by the greeting, "House?"

"Oh... hi," He said calming down a bit. "Well, you never answered my question?"

"Yes of course, where are MY manners. It's time that you told me about the patient. I was willing to let this go for a day so that you could evaluate your team, but it's been a day and I'm not going to just sit by and not treat a sick patient." She said with authority.

"Idiots!" House said and sighed, "Are they there?"

"Yes, but that's never stopped you from calling them idiots before," Cuddy said not seeing why it mattered.

"Put me on speaker," He demanded.

She rolled her eyes and pushed the speaker button on her phone then put it on the DDX table. "There, you're on speaker."

"IDIOTS!" House yelled over the line and everyone seemed annoyed. "I'm surprised you ever got out of med school. Curried flavored one, read off the second paragraph of the patient's history."

Cuddy gave the phone a glare and Kutner an apologetic look for the racist comment.

"I hit metapause two or three months ago. I've had no periods which is great. But of course I got the hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, fatigue, breast tenderness, and trouble sleeping." Kutner read off.

"So!" House said loudly but only heard some shuffling on the other end. "Okay... let's just say that Mrs... Menopause, is just like every other patient we have, which means she's a complete idiot about her body and that she was wrong with her diagnoses of menopause."

Everyone in the DDX room's eyes started moving in thought. "Perimenopause?" Taub said first.

"No, think sexier," He answered.

"Hypothyroidism, could account for all of those symptoms if you assume she's not in menopause." Foreman said with confidence.

"Oh come on people! Think sexier, then bigger, and then cuter." House said waiting for someone to get it.

Cuddy gasped and Thirteen literally slapped her forehead as it hit her, "She's pregnant... but she's 54 years old."

"It happens, she was expecting menopause so when the river of blood stopped and all the other symptoms showed up she assumed she'd hit it." He explained some.

"So that explains the symptoms she thought were menopause, but not the inability to urinate. She must have water on the kidneys, it's common in pregnant woman." Kutner said finishing out this thinking.

"Have I ever told you that I love curry and I'm not forgetting you my little bisexual flower, both of you are in my good book. So did we all learn something from this?" House asked mockingly.

Foreman shook his head and scoffed, "Don't trust a diagnoses from a patient, even if it fits."

"I'm so proud of you...oh yes I am... that's a good boy," House said as if praising a dog.

"Alright, lets treat the patient," Foreman said leaving the room.

House waited until he heard all movement stop, "Exactly how inappropriate would it be for you to keep the phone on speaker and close the blinds so we can have phone sex?" He asked.

Cuddy bit her lip, "Too inappropriate," she said picking up the phone and taking it off the speaker.

"Why?" He asked softly.

She hated how every time he spoke softly she felt guilty, like she'd done something wrong to him. "I'm at work and we're not dating at the moment."

"Are you dating someone else?" House asked and swallowed.

His voice was even softer this time. "No, Greg... I'm not seeing anyone else." Cuddy answered.

"Then what's the problem? We both care about each other and we have needs." He said with a raised eyebrow.

She leaned against the wall of the DDX room, "Are you serious about this or is this a joke?"

House thought about that some, "I'm bored."

Cuddy scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Then watch some TV."

"There's nothing good on right now," He responded.

"Okay well read or play one of your instruments," She said back with a sigh.

House frowned some, "I tried playing the guitar but... I got frustrated and I've already read every book there is here."

Cuddy knew there was something behind that pause and playing the guitar usually did the opposite of frustrate him. "Your hand?" Her questions was met with silence and she frowned, "Maybe it'll get better with more practice." She waited for him to say something and let out a deep breath when he didn't. "You can talk to me about this House, we're still friends."

He leaned his head back letting it hang off the wheelchair, "I'm sure you've got better things to do than listen to me bitch about my hand."

"You mean like having phone sex with you?" She asked trying to lighten the subject.

"Hey it still beats hearing me bitch," House said and then he heard a knocking on the door. "I've got to go, the fart men are here and they're beating the door down to fondle my pipes. Talk to you later." He said and hung up the phone.

Cuddy was relieved to get out of the awkward conversation and then something hit her, if Wilson had lied to House about the gas leak then who was knocking on the door. She cursed her self and walked as fast as she could in the high heels she was wearing and knocked on Wilson's office door.

"He's got a patient in there at the moment," said his secretary from the nurses station.

Cuddy was about to tell the woman she didn't care who was in there, but it was as if God heard her thoughts and Wilson's door opened. A woman in her late thirties walked out with her son who looked to be in his early teens.

"Now, I know the news is good, but it's still important to come to the check up and keep up the medications. With that said, I really think we're in the clear and I can't wait to see you next month." Wilson said with a warm smile.

"You don't know what you've done for me and my family Dr. Wilson. I don't know what we'd have done if you hadn't been there." The woman said hugging him tightly.

The boy smiled at him, "Yeah Dr. Wilson and remember to come to the concert my band is having this Saturday night, just show them the tickets. Thank you Dr. Wilson."

"Hey, you're the one that did all the hard work here and I'll be in the front at the concert Jason," Wilson said with a smile.

Cuddy moved out of the way so the two of them could get by and then looked at Wilson. Wilson smiled at her, "Hey Cuddy," he said.

She frowned at him, "We need to talk," she said walking in the door.

He knew this wasn't going to be good and walked in. "Did my darling little angel do something bad again?" He asked with a harsh sigh and closed the door.

"He called me because he was bored, but then he got off the phone because he needed to answer the door." Cuddy said playing with her bracelet and giving him a knowing look.

Wilson gave her a confused look, "So?"

"So, is there anyone else who should be knocking on your apartment door?" She asked giving him a hopeful look.

He frowned, "But it can't be the old man, he was still sitting outside his door last time I looked." He said and opened his door to look and saw that the seat was now vacant and swallowed and he closed the door.

"I told him House wasn't going to be in for the rest of the day." Cuddy said and bit her lip.

"You had no idea what kind of man this guy was and you just walked up and talked to him? The last officer that was here hit you so hard he knocked you down, or did you forget that?" Wilson said as he started to panic, "Oh God, tell me you didn't tell him that House was staying with me."

"No! I didn't tell him anything about House, he told me some stuff over lunch though. He seemed really nice and knew a lot about House. He even had pictures of him." She said hoping beyond anything that the man was as nice as he seemed.

Wilson started pacing as Cuddy sat down on the couch. "You had LUNCH with this guy? What the hell were you thinking? What if he'd hurt you Lisa, do you have any idea how dangerous that was! If he'd hurt you I would've felt horrible and House... he'd fucking lose it if something happened to you... and then there is Rachel and the Hospital. You can't just do things like that!"

Cuddy felt bad but at the same time irritated by how Wilson was reacting, now she understood why House got so frustrated with Wilson, it wasn't fun being treated like a child. "We ate in the cafeteria, I was never actually alone with him. Like I said this guy knew a lot about House."

"Yeah he knew a lot about him, he's from the military. Did you really think if someone came looking for House they wouldn't do their research? He was in the Marines for eight years and from the badges and metals on his uniform I'd say he stood out, as usual." Wilson said still pacing.

She swallowed, "But, he had pictures."

"Of course he had pictures, he had to know what his target looks like doesn't he? I bet they had him at different weights," He said looking at her.

Cuddy blinked and looked back up at him, "They did."

He scoffed, "Don't you see. They sent him with pictures at different weights so the guy would know how he looked with more or less weight and now he's at my apartment with House in a wheelchair." He said and grabbed the desk as his legs felt weak.

She thought about it and realized that the only picture that both the men were in was the boot camp one and to be honest she wasn't even positive that the man standing next to House was O'Neil. The picture was old and the difference in age from the man in the picture and the man sitting across from her was at least three decades. She felt sick as she realized the man had actually given her no proof that he knew House. Everything he said that she knew to be true, would have been things that most people in the Marines would have known and everything else could be fabricated. She felt all the air leave her lungs, "But... he had a picture of him smiling." She said as the air left her.

Wilson looked over to see that she was white and sighed, "Yeah, well he use to do a lot of that before Stacy left and the leg. It's not impossible to get a picture of him smiling, see." He said pulling a clipping from his desk.

Cuddy looked at it, it was the one that she took with House for the article about his Niemann Pick Disease case. She was wearing the navy blue suit and House was wearing his usual attire and a doctors coat she'd physically forced him to wear. She almost laughed at how small the coat was on him, the sleeve were a good five inches above his hand. He was smiling in the picture at her with his arm around her waist and she was giving her best donor smile with a hand on his shoulder. "Oh God Wilson... if something happens to him..."

He swallowed and took a deep breath, "It's fine, it was probably some poor Jehovah Witnesses that he's already terrorized." Wilson said and called House on his cell phone, he frowned when it went to voice mail and looked at Cuddy as he put the phone down. "That doesn't mean anything, he was mad at me for making him stay at the apartment and not keeping him entertained when he called earlier."

"It might be nothing, but what if it's something?" She asked looking at him with fear and worry.

Wilson started gathering his things, "I've got to go."

"I'm coming with you," Cuddy said standing up.

"No! You're not coming with me for all the same reasons you shouldn't have spoken to the old man and because I want to know if I need to call someone you'll be there." Wilson said as he grabbed his keys. "I'll give you a call in twenty minutes, and if I don't... then give me a call, and if I don't answer send the cops and bring an ambulance."

"Be careful Wilson," She said standing up and he nodded and was gone.


	73. Chapter 73: Wilson to the Rescue?

House opened the door and looked up. His eyes widened and his lips curved down as his jaw set. "Did they send you or did you come on your own Major General?"

O'Neil looked down at him in the wheelchair and swallowed. "I came on my own, although they wanted me to come on their behalf and try to convince you on a small settlement, to which I told them they could fuck themselves. The day I heard I put in my resignation, I'll officially be out in about two more months."

There had been a time in House's life that he trusted Tucker more than he had anyone else, but time had passed. "I thought you wanted to make it in the service for 50 years." House said with a raised eyebrow.

"I can live with forty-seven, I couldn't live with working for any branch of the military after what was done to you. I'm surprised you know my rank, last time we saw each other I was a Colonel." O'Neil said with a sad smile.

"I made you a promise," House said as his eyes searched Tuckers.

O'Neil smiled, "Yeah, I remember. If anything happened to me you promised to take care of my family, but that was a long time ago."

House swallowed, "Promises aren't something I take lightly."

"I seem to remember that about you. I know when you left the Marines you said that you had to get away and I understood that, but after what happened, I had to see how you were. Hell I think Patricia would have shot me herself if I didn't." O'Neil said giving House a knowing look.

House smiled some, "Well you wouldn't want to get into it with the Misses, especially knowing Patricia. How is she and the girls?" He asked moving back some, in a silent request that O'Neil come in.

O'Neil walked in and sat down at the dinning table caddy corner to the empty spot that he assumed was there for House. "Patricia's doing good, she beat breast cancer in 2002, I can't say I was surprised as much of a fighter as she is. Amy's good, all grown up now with kids of her own, Sally too if you can believe it."

House rolled into his spot at the table, "I can't, it seems like it wasn't all that long ago we were chasing each other around that farm. You still got the farm?"

"Wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't. The grand kids come out and help in the summer now." O'Neil paused for a minute. "The whole family still misses you Greg, you're welcome anytime to come and visit. I even promise not to work you to death."

House shrugged, "You weren't that bad, not sure I could really help much with anything anymore though."

"I read the report that Miller gave but obviously there were some things missing. Do you know if the damage is permanent yet or not?" O'Neil said looking at the scar that surround House's neck.

"I've already recovered from most of it, but the broken left leg might be a problem." House looked down. "I had an infarction in my leg 15 years ago and the dead muscle was removed, they took 5 pounds from my right thigh, so I was already on a cane beforehand."

"If anyone can, it would be you," O'Neil said giving him a reassuring smile. "I thought when I came up here you'd have a woman taking care of you and kids of your own." He said giving House a curious look.

House's face became cold, "Well things don't always work out like you expect them too."

O'Neil nodded, "Well if this Wilson guy makes you happy then I'm happy for you."

House smiled and shook his head, "No... um, he's just a friend."

"Oh, in that case, I've know a couple of girls that you should get to know," O'Neil said hopefully.

House sighed, "I bet you do but... I'm good really."

"Okay, you know I'm not going to judge you Greg, right?" O'Neil said looking him in the eyes.

"It's not that. I already had a girl I was dating before the attack; things are complicated but we're... working on things." House said trying not to get too much into it.

O'Neil smiled, "Have you kissed her yet and gone running to her father?"

"Ah... really you've gotta go there?" House said laughing. "I told you it was my first kiss and that daughter of yours started it. See, this is what I get for trying to do the honorable thing... mockery."

O'Neil laughed, "Sorry, but that still cracks me up. You should have seen you're face, I thought someone had died, and then when you said you needed to talk to me about Amy and you. I thought you'd eloped or something, but when I found out it was over a kiss." He laughed harder and finally stopped out of breath. "Oh... you know what she said when she announced that she'd accepted Brian's, that was her husband, proposal. She said that he wasn't Greg but he'd do."

House's features softened, "Was?" O'Neil looked away with some anger. House's jaw flexed, "Did he hit her?"

O'Neil swallowed, "I think so, but she swore he didn't. They got into an argument and ,she say's she lost her footing, she fell down the staircase, broke her wrist and lost the baby, she was six months pregnant. After that she and the kids moved back in with us. I've personally never saw Brian again and that's probably for the best. Amy got her nursing license and got her own place not far down the road. She refused to date anyone while the kids were in the house but the last on got out two years ago and she's dated a little here and there, nothing serious though. If you and this lady can't work things out, my offer still stands."

House's eyes saddened, "You might want to reconsider that, I'm not the same kid I was then."

"You're the only man I've met that was anywhere near good enough for my Amy," O'Neil said giving him a trusted look.

House scoffed, "There's got to be better men than me out there. I'm not even sure if I want to worry with women anymore, it's just easier on your own, you know."

O'Neil felt worry build in his chest, "That doesn't sound like you. The Greg I knew was always looking for a challenge. There were... rumors that Young may have.. been 'sick'?" He watched as House stared at him and had to look away. "So, it was true."

"I'm not sure if I got it, and I wont know for sure until September, still think I'm the best guy to be dating your daughter?" House said with an edge in his voice.

O'Neil gave him a smile, "Greg, there still isn't a man on this earth I would trust more with my baby girl than you. Even if you were HIV positive, that wouldn't ever change how I look at you, and that goes for the rest of my family."

"I never have seen what you thought was so good about me Tucker. I'm just a man." House said softly.

"You've never seen what anyone sees in you Greg, not in boot camp, not even when you ran your own special ops team. You're a world renown doctor now and you still don't see yourself the way you really are, that's the one thing about you I had really hoped would have changed." O'Neil said honestly.

O'Neil's words meant a lot to House, but he knew if he saw how he really was now he wouldn't be saying them. He was about to say just that when the door flew open and House and O'Neil looked at it.

"House!" Wilson yelled looking around frantically and stopping on House and the old man sitting at the table with perplexed looks.

"Yes?" House answered with confusion.

Wilson closed the door and walked over to the table watching the older man with cautious eyes, "Who's this?" He asked House not taking his eyes off the other man.

House couldn't see why Wilson was acting so strange, "Wilson this is Major General Tucker O'Neil, Tuck this is Dr. James Wilson."

Tucker put out his hand, "I've heard you're a friend of Greg's, it's nice to meet you."

Wilson eyed his hand and swallowed, "Funny, I've never heard of you. How do you know House?" He said giving the man a quick shake of hands.

"He was my commanding officer in boot camp, basic training and in my first unit in the Marines, during my time in the Marines we became friends." House said looking at Wilson who still was watching the man and then it hit him what was going on. "You know what I find funny, that gas man never showed up."

Wilson took his eyes off of Tucker for the first time and looked at House, "I'll have to call the landlord about that." He said nervously.

House's eyes penetrated though Wilson as he gave a knowing sneer, "Or you could quit lying. I can take care of myself."

Wilson's lip twitched some, "After what happened no one wanted to take any chances."

"No one? So who all was involved in this, hide House plan?" House asked with a tight jaw.

"Why, so you can seek them all out and yell at them?" Wilson asked trying to sound casual, even though he could tell he had pissed House off.

House stood up on the right leg with one hand on the table for support and looked Wilson in the eyes. "I just want to know who else, besides you, has decided that they have the right to make my decisions for me."

Wilson subconsciously took a step back. "Foreman saw O'Neil sitting outside and the team thought it would be best to inform Cuddy and see if they could get him to leave. Cuddy texted me and asked that I take you to the apartment so you'd be safe, and I agreed to it."

House scoffed as he shook his head and then sat down, "I don't need to be protected." He said with gritted teeth.

"Greg, they were just looking out for you. Are you telling me, that if you thought one of these people were being targeted, that you wouldn't do anything you could to protect them?" O'Neil asked with knowing eyes.

"I would let them know what was waiting for them before I handled it," House said giving O'Neil and annoyed look.

O'Neil just smiled, "That's because they would except your help. You on the other hand... it's just like you taking that stupid lone mission crap, you want to do it all by yourself because you don't think you're worth anyone else risking anything for. I wished you'd hear anyone BUT your father's voice in your head."

"It wasn't stupid, the risks were lower if I went alone, and I always made it back" House said holding his head up high.

"Barely!" O'Neil said with an emotional voice. "And that bastard was going to leave you in Korea. It was his mission to go pick you up and he said... conditions are unstable, it's not worth the risk. You weren't a 'IT', you were his SON. I asked his superior if I could see about getting volunteers for the mission and he agreed. If it was for him... and the shape you came back in. I mean it's not like they call it torture because it's easy, but you... I thought I'd already lost you when I saw you there."

House frowned, "Statistically, he wasn't wrong."

"The love a man has for his family shouldn't be measurable," O'Neil said with certainty as House and him both looked at each other.

Wilson had a strange feeling. The way O'Neil talked to House was a lot like how he did, it was calmer and softer but the same line. It was like meeting the person you've been imitating, when you thought that you were the original. This man cared about House like family, and it touch Wilson. "Mr. O'Neil, I'm sorry I was unfriendly when I came in. Can I offer you a drink?"

O'Neil gave him a polite smile, "It's more than understandable, you came home to find a strange man in your home, it can be unsettling. I wouldn't mind some water if you had it Dr. Wilson and you can call me Tucker."

"Please call me James," Wilson said ignoring the look he got from House.

"Water? First time I've seen you in twenty-five years, if this isn't a time for celebration I don't know what is. How about we break into a bottle of scotch?" House said with an innocent smile.

"Sounds good, as long as you have some milk," O'Neil said with smile.

Wilson didn't like House drinking because of all the medications he was on, but he didn't want to be the one to ruin the party. "Alright, let me break it out then." Wilson said walking in the kitchen.

"Seems like a nice guy," Tucker said to House.

House scoffed, "Yeah he is, when he's not nagging me to death." House thought for a second and then had to stop himself from laughing.

"What is it?" Tucker asked him.

House shook his head grinning and waited for Wilson to return with the drinks. As Wilson was putting everything down House smiled, "So you thought I could be in real danger."

Wilson turned to him surprised by the question, he'd thought they'd moved past this. "Yes, that's why I barged in here."

House tried to keep the smile off his face, "And exactly what did you intend to do if I was?"

Wilson blinked at House blankly, "I'm not sure. Help. Oh shit, I forgot to call Cuddy." He said with frustration as he looked to see House laughing. "What's so funny?" he asked placing his hands on his hips. House started laughing harder and O'Neil had to use all his self control not to be right along with him. Wilson looked over at O'Neil to see him looking at his hands and how he was holding his hips. He decided to let them fall. "You know, just because I wasn't in the military doesn't mean I don't know how to hit someone." He said looking at House.

House tried to stop laughing to catch his breath, "I don't doubt you grasp the process."

Wilson felt his face redden, "Hey, I'm in way better shape than you are!" He barked back.

House could see Wilson was actually upset and tried to pull himself together, "It's not about what kind of shape your in, it's just... you're the nice guy. You aren't a fighter Wilson. If you saw a man hit a woman you would get in between them and push the guy away, not knock his teeth in."

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Because being violent to a violent person doesn't help them to learn that their actions aren't the proper way to handle problems."

"That's what I mean," House said shaking his head. "It's fine, the world needs fighters just like it needs people like you."

"What does that mean? Now you think I'm a wuss or something?" Wilson said getting irritated.

"It means I don't think you could fight your way out of a wet paper sack," House said truthfully.

"How would you know, you've never seen me in a fight," Wilson said eying House.

House sighed, "Exactly, we've been friends for a dozen years and I've never seen you in a fight."

Wilson gave him a bitter smile, "That could be because I'm not an intolerable ass that pisses everyone off the point of violence." He waited for House to come back with a witty remark but his shoulder slumped some as he poured himself a drink. Wilson blinked in amazement, House didn't give up on arguments. "You're done?"

House looked into his drink as he swirled the scotch and milk together, reminding him a lot of him and Wilson. Wilson was the milk of course, nutritious, smooth, and loved by everyone. He was the scotch, strong, bitter, the cause of arguments and accidents on the road. His chin moved back and forth in thought and then he looked up at Wilson and took a sip. "You're right, I piss people off. I deserve it."

Wilson was rendered speechless for a moment as his brain worked to process what that meant. He wasn't really use to House telling him that he was right, but what he was more worried about was what House thought he was right about. Yes, the man had a knack for pissing people off, but what was it he thought he'd deserved? The several times he'd been punched by patients or their loved one's, probably. Or did he mean the attack in his home and torture session? Did he think Wilson was saying that it was his fault? Or the things his father had done to him when he was just a child? Wilson physically shivered. Or the things that were done to him when he was prisoner of war? He realized his mouth was hanging open some and closed it swallowing. He looked to Tucker.

Tucker had noticed the change in House, the slumped shoulders, the way he stared off in glass and the now suffocating silence that lingered in the air. It hadn't taken him long, in his friendship with House, to realize that the man had always put fault on himself for everything that happened, whether it was justified or not. Tucker could feel eyes on him and looked up at Wilson with an intensity. He knew, Wilson knew, what he'd said had cut House and this was something Wilson needed to fix, not him.

Wilson had hoped to see an answer in Tuckers eyes, but instead he saw accusations. He quickly looked back at House who was now staring back at his drink as he took another sip and Tucker started making his own. "I'm not saying that you deserve the things that have happened to you, no one deserves the kind of things you've been though." He saw Houses eyes meet his. "I'm just saying that you have a way of getting under peoples skin, not everyone can handle the truth being thrown at them all the time House."

"Yeah, I seem to remember your unit not being all that fond of it either," Tucker said honestly and took a sip of his drink.

House took another sip, "I'd rather have the truth than lies, even if they are easier."

"There is at least one thing that everyone lies to themselves about, even you." Wilson said watching him.

House looked back at Wilson, "And what would that be?" he asked seriously.

"Your father, more specifically, the way he treated you as a child." Tucker said and watched as House's eye make it to his. "I don't know what all he did, but I do KNOW one thing, he didn't treat you right." He said and put a picture on the table, it was the same one he's shown Cuddy of House in his underwear getting his picture taken while waiting to get his measurements to be taken for uniform.

Wilson's eyes scanned the picture at first feeling sorry for the boy in the photo and then getting more angry at the man that did this. He looked over to House about to start yelling at him about his father when he saw sadness in House's eye as they glued on the picture and his long thin fingertips grazed the photo. It was obvious that House had never seen photo.

"I... never thought I looked that bad," House said softly, more to himself than anyone else.

"The first time we actually talked was in the cafeteria, remember, I saw you take the tray you were given and take the toast then pass it back. I yelled at you for taking the toast off, and then came to realize you thought that everyone was to pick one item from the tray for breakfast. I still remember getting you another tray and telling you that if you didn't have it clean I'd make you scrub the floor with your tongue." Tucker said watching House.

"I cleaned it though, there wasn't a speck left on that tray, or any tray after that, and I'm sure the cafeteria wished you'd never told me that we could get seconds and that you wanted me to eat all I could hold. I'm pretty sure they hated me." House said still looking at the picture.

"They didn't hate you Greg, hell they were glad to have you coming back. It wasn't very often that people acted like they were the best cooks in the world and they just couldn't get enough." Tucker said with a smile.

"Greg please, please just admit to yourself that what your father did to you wasn't right." Wilson said watching House with caring eyes.

House looked at Wilson and back at the picture, "It's because of him that I've been strong enough to make through everything that's happened to me. It was because of him that I was able to get to the point of walking with a cane. What he did to me, it saved my life and my units lives time and time again."

"No one is asking you to say that what he forced you to go though was meaningless, Greg. We're just asking you to be honest with yourself and admit that it wasn't the proper way to treat a child, that it crossed a boundary and were dangerous. I know you Greg, I know you would never put a child through what you went though. Hell that time I was going to give Sally a spanking, it was your first time coming home with me to the farm, you wouldn't allow it." Tucker said watching him.

"She was already crying, she'd realized what she'd done was wrong," House said looking at Tucker with a frown.

Tucker gave him a sad smile, "You pleaded with me to spank you instead and when I said no you grabbed her up in your arms and ran. You ran so fast that I knew there was no way to catch up with you and you stayed gone all day with her. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to bring her back but after dusk you finally came back with her. She apologized and you told me you couldn't stay if I was going to hit my children."

"Then you promised you wouldn't spank them anymore and let me know that if I ever took one of girls like that again I'd better never come back because next time you wouldn't be so forgiving." House said looking at Tucker.

Tucker nodded. "The only reason I was forgiving that time was that you were only 17 and I'd seen the scars enough times to realize that what I meant by spanking and your father meant by it was drasticly different. I would never have hurt my girls the way he hurt you, I think I would have killed myself if I ever left a mark on them. They deserved better than that, and so did you."

House smiled some, "Patricia slapped me when I brought her back."

"Of course she slapped you, she didn't hardly know you and then you ran off with one of her babies. She was in a fit, and believe me, I heard about that for the next couple of nights. Until that night she forced you to take a bath because you smelt so bad." Tucker said softly.

House remembered the night like it was yesterday, it was late at night and the girls were asleep while Tucker was reading in his study.

_Patricia walked over to him with a grimace, "You're taking a bath Greg, I'm not going to have you stinking up the house while we're trying to enjoy our dinner. You understand." She said pushing a bar of soap at him._

"_Yes ma'am," Greg said walking outside. _

"_Did I say I wanted you to rinse off or take a bath Greg?" Patricia said with frustration at the boy her husband had brought home for the summer._

_Greg stopped hesitantly, he'd never been around a woman quite like Mrs. O'Neil. "A bath ma'am."_

"_That's right! I would think a soldier would listen better. Now I've got some water on the stove getting hot so it might can melt the stink off of you. You do have night clothes, right?" She asked with irritation._

_Greg looked down, "No ma'am."_

"_Boy, how many times am I going to have to tell you to look at me when you're talking to me! It's like talking to a tree." Patricia couldn't see what her husband saw in the boy. Yes he was a good hand around the farm but so where the other boys that lived around here._

"_No ma'am," Greg said meeting her eyes._

_She could see the uncertainty in his eyes and sighed, "Of course you don't. I'll get you a pair of Tuck's, they're going to be loose on you but you can make do."_

"_It's okay Mrs. O'Neil, I can just sleep in these, I don't want to be anymore trouble for you." Greg said keeping eye contact._

"_NO! You will not sleep in those, they smell worse than rot of dead flesh. After you are done with your bath I will wash those until that horrid smell is gone, and then once they have dried you can have them back. Do you I make myself clear to you?" Patricia said with a fire in her eyes._

"_Yes ma'am," Greg answered and swallowed hard._

"_You have money, correct Mr. House?" She said with impatience._

"_Yes, of course I should pay you for cleaning my clothes an..." Greg started but was interupted._

_She couldn't believe this boy, "Do you think me the kind of woman that would ask for money from my husbands guest for doing what any decent woman would do?" she asked with contempt._

"_No ma'am of course not, it's just I... I wanted to let you know how much your kindness and trouble is appreciated." Greg answered hoping to not make her any madder, if that was possible._

"_My husband will take you into town tomorrow, you are to buy some sleep clothes and another pair of clothes to work in, two more pairs would be preferable. It also wouldn't hurt if you had something decent to wear to church on Sunday's." Patricia said._

_Greg could tell that he wasn't being asked but being told, "Yes ma'am." he answered._

"_Alright well the water is finally good and hot, get out of those rags and into the tub and take the soap with you. I'll be there shortly." She said watching him._

_Greg always hate people seeing him naked, but knew that once again this wasn't a question but a demand. He left with a nod and was taking off his pants when she walked in._

_Patrica was so surprised by the scars on his back that she almost dropped the pot of water._

_Greg turned around looking at her, "Are you okay?"_

_She nodded looking to see that the scars continued on the front of him too. "I'm fine, just lost my grip, that's all, in the tub with you." He got in silently and she poured the water over him and handed him a rag. She left and came back with more water. "I'll get your back," she said sitting on the side of the tub._

"_Thank you ma'am," Greg said bending over some so it would be easier._

"_Who did this to you," Patricia asked as she scrubbed his back looking at the scars._

_Greg swallowed, "I'm told I was a frustrating child," he said with a frown._

_She sighed heavily, "My father use to hit me when he was drunk, was your father drunk?" Greg just shook his head. "Tucker is a good father, he wouldn't ever hurt the girls, not like... this." She said cleaning his back._

"_My father wanted me to be tough for the Marines, and now I am. Nothing my father did was without purpose," Greg said looking up at her._

_Patricia looked at him for the first time seeing some of the honor and determination her husband had seen in the boy. "It took me a long time to realize my father didn't deserve my love and loyalty, for the longest time I made excuses for him. I'm told you are a smart man, I pray it doesn't take you as long as it took me." She said and left him to finish his bath and get changed._

House still thought about those words he'd let go of his love and loyalty for the man he was raised by, but not his respect. His father had accomplished what he'd promised House, that when he left he'd be stronger than most men and that he would be a survivor. "I am the man I am today because of him, the only reason I'm alive today is because of what he taught me. Of course I know what he did wasn't right, forcing me to go into the Marines wasn't right either, but at least he prepared me for it."

Tucker knew that was the closest he'd ever get to House admitting his father was wrong. "I think that statement deserves a drink. Here James." He said mixing a drink for Wilson and they all took a sip.

Wilson heard his phone start ringing and picked it up, "Hello,"

"HELLO! I thought House and you might getting tortured or shot at and you answer the phone with hello?" Cuddy said with panic and irritation.

Wilson grimaced as he held the phone away from his ear and both House and Tucker could hear most of what she'd said. "Well the good news is we're not, that's good right?"

"I'm NOT so sure anymore! So why the hell didn't you call me?" She asked starting to calm down.

Wilson looked at the two of the men and then frowned, "We got to talking, turns out you were right about Tucker. He's a nice guy."

Cuddy felt a sense of relief, "Alright so is House going to be at work tomorrow? I'm asking because O'Neil seemed more like a father than just a pal."

"House, you planning on going to work tomorrow or were you two going to spend some time catching up?" Wilson asked looking at House and Tucker.

House looked at Tucker, "How long were you planning on staying?"

Tucker smiled, "I'm already paid up till then end of the weekend at my hotel, I figured if you didn't want to be found it would take at least that long."

House nodded, "I was out from work for longer than I wanted, this was only my second week back." He said licking his lips.

Tucker knew House well enough to know that he wanted to go to work, but didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Greg go to work it's fine, we've still got the weekend."

"Tell her I'll be at there tomorrow," House said to Wilson.

"He'll be at work tomorrow," Wilson told Cuddy.

"Good, I'll see you two then," She said and hung up.

_Hey everyone, the next couple of chapters will be guest starring Tucker O'Neil. Let me know things you'd like to hear discussed or stuff you think I should have them do. I'm always looking for a idea that's different. Also let me know what you think about the chapter, I love reveiws. - Nicole_


	74. Chapter 74: Special Delivery

Tucker watched as Wilson put down the phone and took another drink, "So James, I take it you aren't married either."

Wilson shook his head, "No, not anymore anyway. I've been married and divorced three times now so I'm not in any rush. I'm just dating at the moment."

House smiled, "Oh, you say you aren't in a rush but I wouldn't be surprised if you're married before the year is over with." He said with a knowing smirk.

"Marriage isn't a bad thing Greg, you ought to try it sometime," Tuck said looking a House with a grin.

Wilson laughed at the thought of House married, "Now that would be a sight to see. He'd have to learn how to wash dishes, pay compliments, and let someone else win an argument." He said noticing House rolling his eyes.

"I think he could handle the dishes fine, and it's not hard to compliment a woman you love, but the argument thing might give him a problem. Woman are hard to fool and if they can tell you are letting them win they get madder at that then the argument it's self. You would have to have someone that could actually match you in reasoning otherwise I don't think you could do it." Tucker said in thought while looking at House.

"You can both stop worrying your pretty little heads. I'm not getting married, because unlike you two I have a brain in one of my heads," House said with irritation while draining his glass.

Wilson raised an eyebrow, "Right, and if Cuddy wanted you to marry her you'd just pass? I don't think so."

"Cuddy, as in Lisa Cuddy?" Tucker asked with interest.

House looked at Tucker with a frown, "How do you know Lisa?"

"She stopped and talked to me today when I was waiting outside your office for you. I'd heard about what Young had done to her and offered to buy her lunch as a way of apologizing on behalf of military. She's gorgeous and from what I could tell smart with a fire in her. Now she could do, is she the lady you've been seeing?" Tucker asked hopefully.

House sighed and poured himself another drink, "It doesn't matter, I'm still not done with the HIV testing. So, have you heard anything about when the sit down will be with the military court?"

Tucker was unswayed, "Last I heard they were thinking July. You could test negative and if you do then what? Even if you were positive, from what I've read, you could still have a relationship with her, so why are you giving up so easily on this? Doesn't she mean something to you?"

"Yes," House said quickly looking at Tucker with frustration, "And it's not that I'm 'giving up', it's just I don't usually get dealt the good hands when it comes to things like this."

Tucker was surprised by that statement, this wasn't something the man he knew before would have said. "You use to say that life was what you made of it. You are 'giving up', you're acting like you don't have any choices, like you have no control over your life."

"I don't," House said harshly. "You can't just wish away HIV, you don't take a pill or get it cut out and it's gone."

"I understand that, but you're acting like it's already written in stone and even if you don't get to choose the results you do get to decide what you do after you find them out." Tucker said strongly.

House sighed looking at Tuck and speaking softly, "I have decided what I'm going to do, just because you don't like that decision doesn't mean I haven't made up my mind."

"House cutting yourself off from any type of personal relationship and never allowing anyone to be near you again isn't a rational solution." Wilson said jumping in to the conversation.

House closed his eyes taking a sip of his drink, "Of course it isn't a solution, there is no solution to HIV, but it's rational. It's rational to want to protect the people closest to you, even from yourself. I'm not going to let anyone get hurt for me."

"Why? Because you're not WORTH it?" Tucker asked watch House intently to see him meet his eyes. "If it was this Lisa woman that got HIV would you abandon her or me or James here?"

"No, but I would respect your decision. I would understand that you didn't want me close because you were afraid of infecting me, and wouldn't want to live with knowing you ruined someone elses life." House said with a confidence in his eyes that hadn't been there for a while.

"But people need human touch, House. You know that, you've read the studies of what happens when people go through touch deprivation, depression, anxiety, moodiness, hallucinations, boredom and pain!" Wilson said trying to get House to see how ridiculous his idea was to cut himself off completely would be.

House sighed, "And while none of those things sound particularly fun, I didn't hear the word death in there, which is what happens if someone catches HIV from me eventually."

"Dammit House," Wilson started but was cut off by House.

"You don't get it, but HE does," House said looking at Wilson but pointing at Tucker. "Because he's taken mens lives like I have. HE knows that it haunts you even when you had no other choice, even when you did the right thing. I can't have one of your deaths on my hands, don't you get that?"

Wilson looked to Tucker who sighed, "He's right, we don't have the right to ask something like that of him, no one does."

Ronny was rolling the hand-truck while checking the doors for the proper number and name. He was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to find the office when he saw Dr. Wilson's office. 'Finally,' Ronny thought knocking on the door, he waited a few seconds and knocked again as he had a sinking feeling in his stomach he tried the door knob. 'Great, that's how it always goes and of course it has to be a huge delivery!' He thought with a grimace and then saw a lady eying him from a nurses station.

"Hello Miss, I have a delivery for a Dr. James Wilson, do you know if he's going to be back today?" He asked politely.

This was only the second time that Tina had worked at PPTH, she was a temp. and usually ended up filling in at NJM or for different Home Healthcare providers. "He's gone for the day, I'd tell you to take it to Dr. House's office and get him to sign for it, but he's gone for the day too."

Ronny sighed, 'of course!' he thought. Then smiled at the lady, he usually was pretty good at using his charm to get other people to sign for things. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name, mine is Ronny."

Tina couldn't help but smile at him, "Um, sorry it's Tina, usually people don't even care what my name is, just the doctors, you know."

'She's actually really pretty when she smiles,' he thought. "Tina, so do you sound like Tina Turner?"

Tina giggled some, "No, I wish, but I'm not a bad dancer."

Ronny noted that as important information, "So Tina, can you sign for this delivery you think. It's a big order and I'm sure Dr. Wilson will want it as soon as he can get it."

Tina gave him a sympathetic pout, "Sorry, wish I could, but those say confidential on them. Regular packages we can keep but anything confidential has to be locked up and we just don't have a place to lock them up in." She really wished she could be more helpful.

"I'm guessing you don't have a key to his office so I could just roll it in there, that would be just too covenant." He said playfully.

"No, but that gives me an idea. I know someone who has a master key who could sign for, she's the Dean of Medicine." Tina said with a sparkle in her eye.

"Are you sure? I mean, as far as I'm concerned I really don't want to have to lag this stuff back up here but I don't want you do get in any trouble from your boss or anything either." Ronny said with some worry on his face.

Tina smiled giving him a flirty look, "Oh, so now your worried about me?"

Ronny gave her a cocky smile, "Well I figure if you get fired because of me, you might decide to bail on our date this Saturday night."

"I don't remember ever agreeing to going on a date with you Saturday or any other day of the week," She said with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smile.

He smiled, "Okay, maybe you didn't say it with your mouth, but you definitely said yes with your eyes, come on... I promise I'll take you dancing." Ronny said giving her a half smile.

Tina sighed, "It sounds fun, but I don't really date just for fun anymore, I've got a daughter about to turn four."

Ronny was liking this girl more and more, "I know what you mean, my son is about to be five in August. So, you think this Dean of Medicine wouldn't mind signing for this?"

"No, I'm sure she wouldn't, she's always told me to call her if I needed anything. Not many bosses like her left anymore, let me just ring her up real quick." She said picking up the phone and dialing the extension. "Hello Dr. Cuddy, I'm sorry to intrude, but there is a big package for Dr. Wilson and since he left I was wondering if you might sigh for it?"

Cuddy had been just about to leave and didn't really want to have to go all the way up there just to sign for a package, but she had told the temp to call her if she needed anything. "Sure, I'll be right up." She said.

"Oh thank you Dr. Cuddy, are you sure it's no trouble?" Tina asked sweetly.

Cuddy smiled, she was going to have to start requesting this temp more often, "Of course not, Tina. Okay, I'll be there in just a minute." She said and hung up the phone.

Tina smiled as she hung up the phone, "See, I told you she wouldn't mind."

Ronny gave her an impressed nod, "So about Saturday, you think you might be interested?"

She was surprised he was still interested, "I don't think you heard me right. I have a kid and I'm only looking for serious relationships, not charming guys to date for a week or so that just stop calling when they realize I'm not going to be a booty call."

"Oh, I heard you. My wife died in childbirth so it took me a while to... deal with that, but now all I want is a mother for my boy. He deserves that and I love kids, so... if you think you might want to date, or even just talk and get to know each other better, here's my number." Ronny said grabbing up a card and writing his phone number on the back.

Tina took the number and was about to say something when she saw Cuddy.

Cuddy looked at the dolly the man was using which had three cardboard file boxes on it and two large envelopes that looked stuffed to the max. She couldn't imagine why Wilson would have this kind of delivery. "Um... Sir, are you sure you have the right office?"

Ronny handed her the signing card, "Here Dr. Cuddy, you can check but I'm pretty sure I have the right place."

Cuddy looked over the information.

To : Dr. James Wilson

Head of Oncology

Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital

4500 Medical Drive, Office

Plainsboro, New Jersey 08536

From : Military Health Systems

7700 Arlington Boulevard, Suite 5101

Falls Church, VA 22042-5105

She looked back at the delivery everything all the file boxes were wrapped tight in brown paper with tight yellow bands and CONFIDENTIAL stamped on with red ink. Cuddy couldn't understand what Wilson would need all these files for; in Oncology you ran new labs every couple of months, there wasn't much use for old labs. Not to mention this was a lot of paper work, this could probably hold old labs for the entire Oncology Departments patient list, at least one month per patient. "Maybe I should call him, I just don't understand why he would be getting a delivery this big, especially from the Military."

Ronny picked up the large envelopes so that there was nothing on the top of the wrapped cardboard file box, "This one has a topic line," he said hoping to be helpful.

Cuddy bent down to look at it. Topic: House, G. was all it said, but that was enough. "I'll sign, but I'd prefer you take it to my office, he can pick it up when he comes in tomorrow." She said in a polite but also authoritative tone.

"Yes Ma'am," Ronny said handing her the clipboard and pen.

She signed it quickly, "Okay if you'll just follow me." It didn't take long for them to get to her office and get it unloaded. "Thank you," Cuddy said and the man left her quickly, leaving her to decided what to do. 'Those can't all be his files,' she thought with a worried frown.

She put both the large envelopes on her desk then cleared off the coffee table. 'I bet they aren't full, just half full so they can charge more for shipping, noway they're all full.' She tried to convince herself but as she picked one up to put it on the coffee table she realized they had to be stuffed too, it was a struggle just to lift the box a couple of inches. She was determined thought and ended up getting it on the coffee table to see the next box also said House, G. in the topic line. Cuddy was getting more worried and pushed that the second box onto the floor not wanting to stuggle with it, only to revile that the third box also had House's name on it. She subconsciously took a couple of steps back from it. 'Oh God House, what does all this mean, what happened to you? And Wilson! Why Wilson would you get this? You know he would just die if he ever found out. It would kill him to know you went behind his back like this, especially about this.' Cuddy thought as she looked at the packages.

The longer she looked the more intrigued she got which also made her feel more guilty. Right at her feet laid who knows how much knowledge about the man she'd always considered to be a puzzle in himself. The man who kept making her emotions run wild, who drove her crazy, who she couldn't get out of her mind since that night she's stopped by his apartment for Wilson. Cuddy swallowed as her mind seemed to take her back to a time that Dr. Roth was sitting in the chair she was now standing beside. _"There have only been 56 cases of pain threshold anywhere in the range of Dr. House's, and out of those the most common reason was severe child abuse. I'm not talking about being spanked to hard I'm talking about physically torturing a child. The others were Military personal who were POW and had been tortured for years by the people who captured them. ...if I had to guess I would say he was tortured as a child. He had a hard time looking me in the eyes to even tell me what level of pain he was in which indicates shame, and he was quiet through the entire time of testing. Conditioning some one to take extreme amounts of pain silently isn't easy and is pretty much impossible to do in an adult, voicing pain is a natural instinct a person is born with. Has he ever spoken about his childhood to you?"_ She slid down into the chair as she thought about the words of Dr. Roth while looking at the ominous boxes.

"No, I'm not going to do it," She said to the boxes with a frown and she realized how crazy she must sound, of course no one was around to hear it.

'But Cuddy you're already involved. You know Him, it doesn't matter if you just got your toe wet or if you jumped in head first, he'll see it the same.' The boxes seemed to sing.

"I should tell him first thing when he comes in, just bring him in and show him all of you," Cuddy said looking at them.

'Oh getting selfish now aren't you! That won't help him, it'll hurt him, he'll refuse to stay with Wilson and you, then he'll end up all alone back in the same place all this happened.' The boxes teased. 'There is no way to get out of it, you're involved.'

Cuddy shook her head, wishing it wasn't true, but it was. "It would be wrong for me to read anything in you, it's just not right."

'What if you found something in us that could be used to help him? What if you could understand him better and build a more solid relationship with him? Would that be wrong if it helped him?' The boxes questioned.

Cuddy was getting more confused, "It won't help if he finds out about you and never trusts me again. I've come to far to risk that."

'You're forgetting that he might not find out, and that you're already involved. IF he finds out, you'll have already lost his trust whether you read us or not. You have nothing to lose by opening us,' they said cheerfully.

She started chewing on her lip as she thought about this. "What is it that House says, if you're going down for something might as well make it worth it." Cuddy said and looked at the boxes which didn't have to say anything now, they already won. She first opened the white plastic bag that was glued on to the side of the box on the coffee table. She was shocked at how much Wilson had paid for this information, knowing House he'd be impressed Wilson paid $329.88 to snoop through his files. This box contained years 1977-1984 and said Active Duty beside it. She opened the other and found that there was a box that had years 1959-1970, and a box with years 1971-1976 with an envelope for year 1977 and another envelope for 1985 Active Duty. She still hadn't actually opened any of the documents only the white bags glued to them. Cuddy knew that there was no stopping now though, as she contemplated which box to open. Both envelopes contained a year or less, figuring that the last only contained part of year due to House leaving the Marines, and the 1977 only contained Jan- until he became Active. 59-70 was eleven years, 71-76 was five and 77-84 was seven years, just from that she knew which box she didn't want to open, the middle one. These boxes were over forty inches deep, they had the same kind for record keeping, this was the kind of box that could usually hold a lifetimes worth of records not just years.

Cuddy felt like it made the most sense to start from the beginning. She felt her heart race as she cut the bands on it and ripped the paper from the box. She felt hesitation as she unwound the string that kept it closed and then opened it slowly. It had folders lined up in it and she pulled out the first one, opening it and smiled. It was his birth certificate and had his foot prints on it and behind it was a piece of paper that had a black and white picture of a baby printed on it labeled June 11, 1959 Gregory Adam House. It was hard to imagine House as a baby, but he was, everyone was at one point and this proved it. He actually looked innocent in the picture as he was sleeping. Cuddy was startled as her phone rang and dug for it in her purse opening it to her ear as soon as she got it out, "Hello," she said still catching her breath.

"Hey, did I interrupt something or are you just that happy I called?" House asked with a smirk as he heard her panting.

Cuddy closed the file, "What do you want?"

House had hoped to warm her up before asking but evidently that wasn't going to happen. "Tuck invited us to dinner with him Saturday night."

"Us? What do you mean us?" Cuddy asked with suspicion.

"Wilson, You and Me, I told him about us dating," he explained hesitantly.

Cuddy swallowed, "By that do you mean you told him we're dating or did you tell him you broke up with me?"

"The first one, I'd really appreciate it if you could do this for me..." House looked over to see Tucker watching him, "Honey?"

"Honey? You broke up with me and now you're asking for me to go on a pretend date with you just to impress a friend? How desperate do you think I am?" Cuddy asked getting ruffled.

House looked over at Tucker and rolled slightly farther away, "The signal in this place," he said looking at his phone as an explanation then whispered. "Cuddy, he kept trying to set me up with women and then he started thinking I was saying no because I was more than friends with Wilson. I told him that we were dating but that since everything happened... it's been complicated. I mean it's not far from reality is it?"

Cuddy sighed, "This isn't fair to either of us, it just makes it harder and you know that. Just let him fix you up with someone House, then you can tell them you're not interested, it'll be easier on both of us."

House felt his heart drop into his stomach, "I'm not going to date some else?" He hissed.

"It's wouldn't be real House, it's no big deal, long as nothing more than a kiss happens," Cuddy said rolling her eyes.

"You don't care if I kiss someone else?" House asked softly with accusation.

Cuddy frowned, "I don't know, should I?" She asked and waited only to hear him breathing softly. "I need time to think. We'll talk about it tomorrow at work, just tell Tucker I need to check my work schedule, okay?"

"I'll stop by when I get in," House said flatly.

She grimaced as for the first time in this conversation she heard his distant cold voice he reserved usually for work and enemies. "I have a ton of meetings in the morning, which I'd rather have House-free."

"Should I care?" House asked coldly.

Cuddy swallowed she kind of deserved that, "I'll stop by your office later on, you wouldn't want me to have to resort to playing tricks on you again." She said hoping to throw him off her scent.

House was sure if she was trying to be funny or not, it didn't really matter he had no intention of seeking her out tomorrow, if she didn't care, then why should he. "That's great you can let me know tomorrow." He said loud enough Tucker could hear him.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. House are you okay?" She asked.

"Bye," he said no longer wanting to talk to her.

Cuddy sighed at the phone as she put it in the outside pocket of her purse. She hadn't intended to hurt him, but lately if seemed to happen all to often. Any relationship with House had always been complicated, because that was the nature of the man himself, but now just the thought of how things use to be seemed like a dream. She knew what to do then, she didn't worry herself to death about how he'd felt about what she'd said because he didn't ever take it personally. Now though, she could hurt him so easily that it scared her. She wondered if he ever thought about how asking her to go on a pretend date hurt her?

He was the one that had ditched her, with the only explanation being that he didn't want her to get hurt because of him. She'd told herself that she was going to stay away from him, but... she just couldn't and it had caused her more pain. The kisses, the touches, the sound of him laughing or watching him smile had all reminded her of what she was missing and going out on a date with him just to be shunned away again. Well that was just stupid, it wasn't fair for her to keep hurting herself for him, but then again when was the last time that life was fair for him? Cuddy hated this, it wasn't her place to make the world a better place for House, that shouldn't be her or Wilson's burden but how much more could he really take. If she'd learned anything from all that she'd found out and seen House go through in the last two months it was that he was definitely human, even if others didn't see it. People can only handle so much, and by the look of the boxes he'd already handled more than most.

Cuddy got her phone back out to text Wilson. 'Need you to be in my office first thing in the morning, don't bring House!'

She decided to take that file home with her since it had was dated June, 11 1959 – June, 11 1960 and there could be more pictures and it was thin which meant it couldn't hold anything too bad. Cuddy was about to put her phone back up when she heard it beep and read the message.

'Okay? Am I in trouble? :)' Wilson's message read.

Cuddy thought about that for a second, 'Just be there first thing in the morning.' She texted and then went home.

Cuddy got to work extra early and put the file back up. She'd learned that the military was a stickler for documentation, every hospital visit had a photo and besides that nothing really seemed too out of place. He'd gotten some colds, and suffered from colic when they'd moved two times within the year, one of his doctors had also noted that young Gregory was speaking in sentences by 10 months. She'd read every line careful with fear that she would see something... something she didn't want to see. Cuddy had made a self discovery, she, like Wilson, didn't want to know, especially now that she knew there would be pictures. She didn't want to see those pictures every-time she looked at him, the baby pictures of an unharmed innocent House she could handle but not the bad ones, that she knew would be in there.

She waited by the nurses station for House and Wilson to come in. House was first through the door and rolled up to the counter, "Any messages?" He asked not even glancing in her direction.

The nurses handed him two post-its and he started to roll away, "Hey, you too busy to say hi?" she asked with annoyance.

House stopped but didn't turn and then decided instead of retorting he'd just continue his way to the elevator, that was until she got in front of him. "I thought you must be some figment of my imagination, considering you aren't busy in a meeting at the moment." He said with a stiff jaw flatly.

Cuddy shook her head, "So this is how it is, I don't immediately give in to what you want because I'm selfishly considering how I feel and you just pretend I don't exist? Real mature House." She said with disappointment in her voice.

He grinded his jaw some, "It's no, I got it. By the way, feel free to kiss anyone you want, I'm fine with it, it's not like I should care, you obviously don't." He said with both sarcasm and anger and rolled around her.

She blinked at where he was a minute, thinking, before she realized he wasn't there and turned to see him watching her as the doors closed. Wilson walked up to Cuddy after the elevator had closed. "You and him having a fight? He's been... well like that since he called you last night."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him, "In my office," she practically growled. Wilson's eyes shot up in surprise and he promptly turned around and walked in her office and sat down. She sat down looking at him with loathing. "Get up and take the blanket off that coffee table, after you close the blinds of course." She hissed.

Wilson half laughed, this had to be a joke. Cuddy didn't act this way to him, hell no one acted this way to him, except House. "What kind of joke is this? Is House in on it or something?"

"I'm not joking Dr. Wilson, do I need to ask you again?" Cuddy asked with gritted teeth.

His smile was replaced with a worried look as he got up and closed the blinds looking back at her, for her to glance at the blanket and then narrow her eyes on him. He swallowed with some fear as he walked over to the coffee table. He pulled off the blanket quickly to see that there were two cardboard file boxes wrapped underneath and one on the top that was unwrapped along with two stuffed manilla envelopes on the table as well. He shrugged at first not understanding until he paid more attention, CONFIDENTIAL was stamped all over them and then on the top of the unwrapped box was his receipt. Wilson could literally feel the place warm up. "How did you get these?" he asked still looking at the boxes.

"Delivery guy came by yesterday after you had left and the temp girl called to see if I would mind signing. At first I was sure it was some mistake until he pointed out the topic line and it had House's name on it. This will kill him when he finds out, which he will one way or another. I was even considering telling him." She said looking away from him and at the boxes.

Wilson looked at her with guilt, "Why didn't you?" he asked softly.

Cuddy sighed, "Because it would kill him, you... I don't get it Wilson. He needs you more now then he ever has. He's been trying to open up to you and you'd risk all of that for some boxes, boxes filled with information you don't want to know? Is that it, you want to know now, you want to see how bad it got?"

"No... god no, I still don't want to know... but someone has to. He needs someone to understand what he's been through, but he can't talk about so... this seemed like the only way. You remember that time you slapped him at my place and then he backed away from you?" Cuddy frowned but nodded. "Things like that have happened time and time again because he's had these flash backs and I didn't hit him first. I need to understand what he thought I was doing to him that night I walked in and he pleaded for me to continue and so does he. It's not that I want to do it, it's that someone should care enough to." Wilson explained.

"He'll never see it that way, I'm not sure if even I see it that way. I didn't tell him because when he finds out what you've done, he's going pull away from you, and right now you're the only person he'll even let close to him. He needs you Wilson and when he finds out... what happens? He'll lock himself inside that apartment, where everything happened. He'll push everyone away, how could you risk that?" She asked with a disgusted face and shocked eyes.

His mouth went suddenly dry, "Maybe he wont find out," he tried.

Cuddy's frown deepened, "He will, this is House we're talking about, and now you've dragged me down with you. He'll hate both of us, you for digging this up and me for covering you."

"No he wont, maybe he should, but he wont," Wilson said with guilty eyes and then looked away from Cuddy's. "Believe me, he'll forgive me... us, like I said he doesn't ever really let go. Probably has something to do with him not wanting to truly be alone and his idea that he is worthless as a person."

"And you're okay using that against him? If this was anyone else you wouldn't do this!" She said getting more furious.

He looked at her with honest eyes, "Of course I wouldn't, but House isn't anyone else. Anyone else I could get to talk about this and deal with it, and yes what I'm doing breaks normal ethic codes and makes me feel like crap, but it doesn't break his rules. He'd do this for either one of us, if he thought had went through something like child abuse, to help us, even if we got mad at him."

Cuddy stood up as she tried to think of something to say but couldn't, "Get them the hell out of here soon, I don't want to be any more involved than I already am."

"I'll get them moved within the hour, and Lisa I'm sorry, I didn't mean to involve you in this." Wilson said solemnly and then left.

**_PLEASE__ READ: _**_ With writing on both The Greater Good Continued and What You Mean To Me, I haven't always been getting up the chapters as fast as I wish I was but, after a long time, I'm going to start working on the book that I had been working on when I decided to write this to help through a touch of writers block I was having. I'm pretty sure this has helped alot and I know that the reviews have, really you have no idea how much it helps to hear what you're thinking. This is all great news but it does mean that it might take me even longer to get up chapters. I know... I hate it too, but the book... well if it goes good I might actually could make a real go of this writing thing, you know. I'm still going to strive to get a chapter out every two weeks, I think I can manage that. Sorry about the news but I wanted to keep you informed so you don't just start to think I stopped writing the story, if it takes longer for me to post a new chapter. I'm not one to leave a story unfinished, and when I'm actually done you'll know because it will actually say COMPLETE by it, like it should._


	75. Chapter 75: Do you love me?

_Alright everyone, finally got a new chapter up, hope you enjoy it. I feel like this chapter was needed for both House and Cuddy. It really gives them a chance to really talk about what they feel for eachother. Please everyone let me know what you think!_

By ten Wilson had all the boxes hidden in his office so that when House rolled through the door at eleven thirty there was no evidence of what he had. "Hurry up," House barked at Wilson and immediately started rolling back out.

Wilson could tell that House was still in the bad mood he'd been in ever since he called Cuddy last night, so he quickly followed not wanting the mood to worsen. "Well, you sound chipper, how's your day been?" He asked mockingly with a smile.

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson and the elevator descended, "Just another slice of heaven, like everyday in the life of Gregory House's is," he said back condescendingly.

"Glad to see you're making the best of it then, you could be wallowing in self pity and making everyone, including yourself miserable, but it's good to know you're taking the high road." Wilson said in a patronizing way, and again with a smile.

"And you could be a complete jerk of a friend... oh wait, that's right, you are." House said with a sneer as he rolled out the elevator.

Wilson rolled his eyes as he had to half jog to keep up with the pace that House was rolling. When they got to the cafeteria House got his plate and rolled over to their usual table, leaving Wilson to pay. He looked down and his plate and sighed, he'd sent money to Wilson's account yesterday so he'd actually paid for it, and now he was inconveniencing Wilson to have to buy it for him. He took a few deep breaths as he thought about how messed up in the head he was. Who was he to blame Cuddy for wanting to stay away from him, considering how nuts he was, who'd want to be around that.

"Hey, what you thinking about?" Wilson asked with a fork full of food and a worried look.

House glanced at him to see that Wilson had already eaten a good bit of his food, which meant he'd dazed off longer than he thought. "Nothing important," he said softly then looked at his plate and started picking at it.

Wilson watch for a good five minutes while House mostly played with the food on his plate only eating a few bites. "So, that call last night to Cuddy, what happened?" He asked hoping if House talked it out some he might start eating.

"Nothing new, I told her about the dinner Tuck invited us to and she got mad." House said as he started making a tower with his fries.

Wilson didn't hear the usual bitterness in House's voice that secretly said he didn't feel like he was being treated fairly and it worried him. "You don't sound like your usual bitter, angry self."

House shrugged, "Nothing to be mad about, I'm screwed up, she doesn't want me anymore. It's smart, logical, and I can't blame her for that." He said stacking the fries taller.

"You're not screwed up," Wilson said softly and then met House's knowing eyes. "Okay.. so you're screwed up... everyone's always known you were a little off, but that's what makes you, you."

"She was trying to find ways of spending time with me until..." House sighed looking at his tray, "I told her about the eating thing. Before she thought I was different in the way the Einstein and Michelangelo were eccentric but now I'm just John Nash, the once brilliant and now crazy man."

Wilson was still thinking about Michelangelo... it was a comparison he'd never thought of, but as soon as he heard it, it fit. He'd always seen House as an artist in his own way, the way his mind worked was so unique, it wasn't something you could be taught. And Michelangelo struggled with social interaction and was known for ending conversations by just walking away mid conversation, just like House, of course, because of that it's thought that Michelangelo could have suffered from autism.

"I'm not autistic," House said flatly unamused as he could read Wilson like a book.

Wilson looked at him surprised, "I didn't say I thought you were... did I?"

"No but I could see what you were thinking," House said with a smirk.

Wilson shook his head, "Now that's CREEPY. Way more creepy than you having some eating disorder and she's seen you do stuff like that tons of times. I'm sure that the reason she doesn't want to go has nothing to do with you telling her about the food thing."

House scoffed, "Well great, if it isn't that, then it's just means there is something else about me that she doesn't like."

"Or she could just be on her period, but then again Cuddy's never needed a reason to be a bitch to you." Wilson said casually as if he hadn't just called his boss a bitch.

House looked up at Wilson and slowly smiled, "No she hasn't," he said popping a fry in his mouth.

Wilson gave a mischievous smile back at House, "I think you might be rubbing off on me."

"Or my original theory is correct, which is that deep down below that sickeningly sweet icing shell, you are evil which is why you love hanging out with me. Because while you still are trying to keep your true evilness a secret you can watch me flaunt mine and even though it isn't the same, it's like a blood transfusion for a vampire... it'll suffice." House said with a glint in his eyes.

Wilson put his hands up in a surrendering manner, "Okay, okay, you got me." He said mockingly as he noticed House still hadn't eaten anymore of his food. "You should eat."

House sighed, "Yeah," he said looking down at the food and then shrugging, "and if I was hungry I would but."

Wilson waited a moment of House to continue; it took him two minutes before he realized that House had no intention of continuing. "You're starting to sound like a love sick teenager, not eating because you and the love of your life are on the rocks."

House rolled his eyes, "Of course, you think my not eating and the talk with Cuddy are related."

"They aren't?" Wilson asked surprised, "but if this isn't about Cuddy then what is it?" He watched as House's eyes slowly made it to his and there was a certain shade of awkwardness in his eyes and then came the lick of his lips followed by the eyes falling and a slow swallow. Wilson's swallowed hard as he was looked down as he started to feel like he understood. "I'm doing this because I want to House, even before our talk yesterday, this was our routine. You don't even have to pay me if it..." He looked at the almost full plate of House's, "bothers you. I don't care about the money; all I care about is you and making sure you're getting better."

House let out an exhausting sigh, "I'll be fine. Things are different, and different takes me time to get use too is all."

Wilson nodded as he wished House would look at him and then looked at the plate. "You think you could manage some cobbler and ice cream before we head back up." He asked innocently, knowing House loved sweets but rarely ate them, he'd never understood why, but now he was feeling he had a better understanding of his friend.

"You're so lucky your little swimmers aren't all that good, because if you had kids you'd be wrapped around their little fingers." House said seriously while staring Wilson down.

Wilson scoffed, "I'll take that as a yes," he said with a challenging look.

"You do realize I didn't eat even a quarter of my food, and now you are going to reward me with dessert. You really think that's healthy for my psyche?" House asked with narrowed eyes and a half smile.

Wilson thought about it for a second then looked in House's eyes, "I'm sure there are a lot more damaging things that someone could do to your psyche then give you dessert without finishing your meal."

"Yeah, there are," House said in a tight voice as he kept Wilson stare. He could see the worry and concern in those warm brown eyes and when he saw Wilson's lip twitch he knew he didn't want to hear the question he was about to be asked, so he beat Wilson to the punch. "So... you going to pay up with the cobbler?" He said with a fake smile.

Wilson had really wanted to ask House about what else had been done to him, but he'd hesitated and the chance had passed. "Um... yeah, I'd hate for you to think I'm just a tease," he said lightly as got up and started towards the line.

"Hey, you promised it 'a la mode'." House said with a smirk.

Wilson rolled his eyes playfully, "I'll remember the ice cream House."

11111111111

Wilson was rocking on his feet as he stood in front of Cuddy's assistants desk. He'd left lunch feeling more worried about House and his psyche. He hoped Cuddy would see him, but considering how pissed she looked this morning he wasn't as confident as he would have liked, and it didn't help that he was looking at nothing more than a kid that had upset and bruised House.

"Wilson," Cuddy said as she saw a darkness in Wilson's eyes as he was staring down her assistant. "Wilson," she called again a bit louder and was happy when he's eyes left her assistant and instead looked at her. They warmed up quickly and held some concern in them. "Come in," she said holding open the door.

He nodded walking in and sitting down on the couch, "I need to talk to you about House."

"No... I'm sorry Wilson, but I was serious when I said I didn't want to be anymore involved with those files." Cuddy said standing on the other side of the coffee table with her hands on her hips.

"What? Oh... no, it's not about that... it's," he shook his head, as he realized that he was probably over stepping some limit. "You know what, it's nothing. Sorry I interrupted you." Wilson said standing up.

She put a hand on his shoulder and gently pushed him back down, "Oh no you don't. You asked to speak to me, so now speak."

Wilson looked down, "House explained his eating problem to me yesterday." He said looking up at her and seeing both worry and guilt in her eyes, "Why didn't you tell me what was going on with him?" He asked accusingly.

Cuddy knew there was no reason to try and deny she knew, "Because he needed to be the one to tell you. He has trust issues and the only way he's going to be able to work through them is to know he can talk to people about import thing and that they won't just blow them off or judge him." She said as she sat down on the couch besides him.

He sighed as he heard her explanation, it was solid and logical. "He's barely eating," he whispered.

She blinked at him obviously confused, "What? But, you said you two talked, right?"

"That's why he isn't eating. Telling me, and him paying me once a month for his food, it's changed things... and we both know how House is about change." Wilson said giving her a sad smile.

"Yeah, I remember the carpet," Cuddy said and then sighed. "I'm sorry Wilson, but I don't know how I can help you with this."

He looked reproachful, "I know this isn't any of my business, but... it would help me to know what you plan on saying to him later today."

Her mouth dropped some and then her facial features tightened. "You're right, it's none of your business." She said with a scoff shaking her head at him in disappointment, "I have to say, I didn't think you would sink so low as to try and use guilt to push me into going on a date with him."

"I'm not trying to push you one way or another, I'm here because I need to know what to expect when we go home tonight. If the answer's no, then I'll set something up with Tucker, meet up for drinks or something see if I can take his mind off of it enough to get him to eat. If you say yes, then I'll keep him talking about the date and hopefully he'll clean his plate before he notices." Wilson explained. "But either way I want to have a plan. He didn't eat much dinner last night, he skipped breakfast, and all he managed at lunch was six fries and most of the cobbler a la mode I got him. I'm worried," he said with a hard swallow as he looked to see her eyes, which were painted with concern too.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I'd hoped that when he told you things would get better. I never really thought it would effect him like that." Cuddy said with a frown, "And as much as I wish I could tell you a answer one way or another, I still don't know how that conversation is going to go. I don't think it's a smart idea, him and me just... we both keep getting hurt the more we try. I think we should just be friends until he makes up his mind on weither he want's to give this a real shot or not." She said honestly. "But... House has a way of changing my mind at times so... who knows what will happen."

He bit his lip some, "When do you plan on talking to him?"

She looked at her watch, "I could go ahead and get it done with, then stop by and let you know what the finally decision ended up being."

"Thank you, um... there is something you should know. House thinks you don't want to be around him anymore after he told you about his eating problem because you think he's too screwed up, that doesn't have anything to do with it does it?" Wilson asked softly.

"No... I can't believe he'd think... No, that has nothing to do with it." Cuddy said with a deep frown.

"Good, I didn't think it did. Be gentle," He said and walked out.

Cuddy looked at the door for a couple of minutes thinking more about what Wilson had told her. She was sure House wouldn't be pleased if he knew that Wilson had told her his new theory on why she hadn't agreed to going on the date. Cuddy wondered if he'd done if for her, or so she'd be less likely to hurt House, either way she was appreciative of the information. She walked in the bathroom looking in the mirror and touching up her make-up, even though she was going to try and convince him that she didn't think the date was a good idea, she still wanted to look her best for him. As she made her way to his office she tried to think about how the conversation would go, but decided to give it up when she walked off the elevator, with House you never knew what would happen. She looked into the DDX room to see and hear House and his team.

"It isn't lung cancer," Thirteen said heatedly.

House sneered at her, "Well we don't really know that now do we? If you'd done the lung biopsy like I sent you to do then we would know for sure if it's lung cancer or not."

"I didn't do the test because it isn't lung cancer!" Thirteen said with even more frustration.

"You don't KNOW that!" House yelled up at her, then narrowed his eyes, "Huntington's has made you soft," he said seriously with some disappointment. "Asian Flavor and the Nose will go and get the biopsy and test it, then we'll see who's right. The couple known as Fourteen can work in the clinic, hopefully that wont be so scary that you feel the need to not do necessary tests because your afraid to make a little girl cry." He said and started rolling to his office while the his team filed out of the room when Foreman grabbed his shoulder roughly. House jerked away from the touch and turned around so he was facing him.

Foreman took a step back realizing that even though House was acting as if everything was back to normal, they weren't. "I always knew you were a ass but picking on her while she's trying to come to terms with a incurable disease, that's low, even for you. You have no idea how hard it is, you..."

"Fuck you!" House yelled inching to the end of the wheelchair like he was about to get up as he looked at Foreman with anger. "You think she's the first person in the world to find out that she's dying and there is nothing she can do about it? It's a genetic disease! She's always knew the chances were high, that doesn't make it anymore fair, but at least she's had her whole life to prepare for it. She didn't get blindsided, for that... she's lucky." He said seriously.

"She's dying, she's not lucky. She's a doctor and she's beinging told she's going to die and there is nothing she can do to stop it," Foreman said trying to get House to understand how hard it was.

"Superman can't walk, the best artist's works were never appreciated until after they died and athletic 35 year old men gets an infarction that leave him in pain for the rest of his life. Life isn't fair, don't act like that's a new concept to you. I didn't want her to test positive, but she did and that doesn't change her job." House said flatly.

Foreman narrowed his eyes, "Most bosses give employees in this kind of situation a break."

"Most people don't have jobs were other peoples lives hang in the balance of them being on top of their game, we're not just doctors, were the end of the line for most of our patients. You know that biopsy was the right call or you would have said this in the DDX. I'm her boss, my job is to push her to do her job. You're her boyfriend, it's your job to hold her tight and tell her that she has to concentrate on the lives she's saving by doing her job right instead of worrying about the things she can't change. If she's having problems dealing with it, maybe I'm not the one that's dropping the ball." House said giving Foreman a knowing look.

"I'm doing the best I can. I love her, something you wouldn't know anything about." Foreman said with contempt.

House rolled his eyes, "Of course not, you two are the first people to fall in love on the face of the earth. How do you pronounce it again? Loav... no that can't be it, loof... hmm... oh right love."

Foreman shook his head and sneered, "What happened to you definitely hasn't changed you, with all you've been through, someone would think you could show some empathy. But you're like a stubborn child who keeps getting beat for the same thing and still doesn't learn." He waited for House's retort but it didn't come. He kept looking at House and even thought his mask was on, Foreman felt like he could see something just beneath it, something real. "Maybe the reason you're pissed is that she can actually let some of her turmoil show. She doesn't have to be the rock that's never changing no matter what happens to it. You can't walk House... you may never walk again, and as sad as that is I think the fact it doesn't have any real impact on you is sadder."

House didn't even blink, "You done? That was such a touching speech, I'm sure I'll go threw that new box of tissues I bought, now that you've 'put me in my place', go do your job." He said flatly.

Foreman walked out and almost ran into Cuddy. "Oh, sorry, are you okay?" She was giving him a disappointed look and then he sighed, "You heard that, didn't you."

"Do you really think you're any better than he is, when you treat him like the robot he pretends to be? And just for your information, just because he hasn't changed the way he handles patients, doesn't mean he hasn't changed. Now get to the clinic." Cuddy said with a calm anger. He looked pissed but did what she said without back talk. She looked back through the glass to see he'd went into his office. She slipped in the door to the DDX room and looked at him, he looked worn and then she saw him hit the armrest on his wheelchair hard and then he put his arms on the desk and rested his forehead in them. She wanted to comfort him, she knew what Foreman had said had to have hurt him even if he was too damn proud to let it show at the time. Cuddy knew this wasn't a good time and turned around slowly.

"What the hell do you want?" His voice rang low but strong.

She stopped, closing her eyes as she grimaced with her back to him. "It's nothing, I'll come back later."

"For nothing, you sure did hang around outside my office for a long time. Don't worry the big black man didn't hurt me, I'm fine." House said reading her mind.

Cuddy turned around facing him. "If he did would you admit it?" She asked honestly.

His eyes dropped some for a moment and then held hers again, "What brings you all the way up here?"

She walked in his door and closed it, "I told you last night I would talk to you about the dinner."

"There isn't anything to talk about, you don't want to go, you don't have to." House said looking back at a file on his desk, but when he didn't hear her leave he looked back at her. "Was there something else?"

Cuddy sighed, "Don't you want to know why I don't want to go?"

He rubbed his neck and his mask seemed to fall away, "Why would it matter, either way the answer's the same, knowing why doesn't change that."

She walked to the side of the desk looking down and his sad features. "I'm just trying to look out for both of us. We both get hurt when we get too close."

"Sure," House said passively.

"That's the real reason House, I don't know what you've concocted in your head as my reasons behind my decision, but that's my real reason." Cuddy said with certainty.

He scoffed, "Why are you suddenly concerned about us getting too close? I've been trying to keep us at a distance since I called it off, but you kept pushing and now that I'm not fighting you on it you start pulling away. We've been hurting each other ever since the infarction, and you've never back down, so you're going to have to do better than that."

She took a moment thinking about what he'd said. It was true, she'd been pushing him to let her get closer ever since the attack, and now that he was trying to let her, she was running away scared. "I'm afraid of getting hurt and I don't want to hurt you either. I don't know why things have changed."

"Maybe you're still ashamed of me, maybe the idea of Tucker seeing us as a couple or other people at the restaurant seeing us that way is the problem. Or maybe it has something to do with what happened Sunday when you stayed with me in the hospital. Or it could be that you finally woke up and realized... I'm House! The same guy you've been yelling at ever since you hired, who breaks all the rules, who drives everyone nuts, who's an ass, and who gets the hospital sued every couple of months. I'm the same guy that bribed my intern candidates to steal your underwear." House said imploringly.

"You wanted something personal and intimate because that's the kind of relationship you wanted from me and was to afraid to ask for." Cuddy said now seeing the gesture for what it was.

He looked away from her, feeling naked by her correct assessment of his actions. "I wasn't afraid to ask, you just said no when I did and there was no reason for me to assume that decision would change." He said flatly.

"You didn't ask me, I think I would remember that," She said watching him.

"The theater, I asked you after you went to the play with Wilson, you said you had plans and you did, another date with him." House said, watching her with slightly hurt and accusing eyes.

Now that Cuddy knew him better and had realized how much she meant to him she felt guilty for dating Wilson, even if she was never really serious about it. "Greg," she noticed him pull back from her at the mention of his name. "James and I... it wasn't serious."

"You sure about that?" He asked harshly.

Cuddy's eyes popped open at the accusation. "Yes, how can you think..."

"He's the one you considered as a sperm donor, not me... him. He's the one you told about applying to see if you could adopt. When I walked in that baby store and saw you two looking down at that crib, standing close together... smiling..." House said trying to not let it show how much it had hurt him.

She felt cold as she saw his mask fall back into place and as her worried eyes left his empty ones she saw his hands shaking some and swallowed hard. The conversation was upsetting him even if he was trying not to show it. "House, I've never loved him."

"And you have me?" He asked slowly watching her carefully.

Cuddy took a deep breath, that was a very loaded question. Had she loved him... and even more importantly did she love him. She walked over to him looking down in his eyes as her fingers tips played in his soft hair. Her cheeks blushed some, "Do you love me Greg?"

House kept his eyes on hers as he let his mask fade, "Yes," he said softly. "I never stopped, I've loved you since our second date in college."

She smiled and thought about it, "You didn't say you loved me until our third date."

"So maybe I was a little shy back then," He said with the same shy smile he'd had way back then and as quickly as it had been there it vanished. "Do you love me?" He asked anxiously. "Lisa... I need to know how you feel about me. What is this, is it serious or just... a game to you?"

"I'm not playing with you Greg, I feel a lot for you. Is it love, I'm not sure, but it's strong. I'm serious about you. I want us to have another shot, and that's why I'm not on board for this date. The more time I spend around you the more I want you, in every way, and the more it hurts me to not be with you. I want to be able to touch you, to kiss you, to fuck you. I want to feel you on top of me with sweat rolling down while you pant and I moan your name. I want to fall asleep next to you in your bed and wake up with you beside me." Cuddy said having to hold herself back from acting out what she'd just said.

House looked down as he thought about what she had said and then looked back up at her. "Is that all you want me for? Just the physical, just sex?"

She frowned, "I know I miss that with you, as far as the other goes, we never really got a chance to try it out. You were attacked the first night you were suppose to come over and spend with Rachel and me, so I don't know how that would have gone." She said softly, "If you give us another real shot, I would want to see how Rachel and you could be." She could see that had both surprised him and meant a great deal to him. "If you want me to go to this dinner, convince me," she challenged.

He thought for a little bit and then smiled, "You'll get to see me in my dress marine uniform."

"Hmmm, that's interesting, keep going." Cuddy said whispering the last part in his ear.

House bit his lip some, "Um... maybe you could touch me some, you know, with clothes on."

"Really?" she purred in his ear softly watching as goosebumps formed on his neck.

"Oh," He moaned with need as his hand glided down the side of her leg, "or... maybe.."

She rubbed her checks against his, "Maybe what?" she asked letting her lips brush his cheek as she spoke.

House turned his face to her lips kissing her passionately, he'd stopped thinking and was now just acting on feeling and need as he scooted to the edge of his seat pulling her legs close and leaning his head back forcing her to practically lay on him to continue the kiss and she guided on of his hands up her panty hose clad legs. His hand kept going pulling her skirt up and feeling the wet warmth at her core where her legs came together. He cupped her heat, kissing her and opened his mouth to feel her tongue ravage his and started rubbing her through the shear material finding her clitoris fast.

"Oh GOD... Mmmmm," Cuddy groaned from the back of her throat as she felt his magical hand working on her. "Please... fuck me... ohhh.."

He stopped as his brain seemed to suddenly kick back on and he let his hand fall and scooted back in his wheelchair siting correctly, which forced Cuddy to stand back up normally. As he was processing what had just happened he blushed as he watched her pull down her skirt from his minstrations. "I just... I lost it for a moment." He said meeting her eyes.

She smiled, "And how did it feel, to let go."

House swallowed looking at her with desire, "It felt amazing, but... I have to be careful, WE have to be careful. Lets quit with the games, just tell me what you want to make this dinner date happen and I'll see if I can do it."

Cuddy moved her jaw as she thought about what she needed to gain from him to make the dinner worth her time. "I want kisses and I want you to make me cum."

He blinked at her as if he had to have misheard her. "Did you just ask me to... to make you..."

"Cum," she provided the word for him, "yes, that's what I said, if you want me to go to the dinner."

House's eyes fell from hers as he thought about this, "Does it matter how?"

Cuddy smiled at the question, "As long as it's just you and me, I don't care."

He nodded and swallowed looking up at her with concerned eyes, "My immune system isn't what it needs to be. I'll agree to the kissing, but I need you to promise me that if your mouth is bleeding for any reason, gums, sore, cut... I don't care, any reason, you'll tell me and there will be no kissing. This is important, I can't take the risk."

"Sure," she said with worry, "I didn't know it was that bad, I thought you were doing good."

"Considering that I still had a high fever and my immune system had dropped dangerously low while I was on medication that should have kept me from even getting phenomena or a fever at all, it was bad." House said looking at her, "I don't need to get any sicker now and if I made you sick... I don't want to think about how bad I'd feel if I made you sick."

"You're a good man Greg, weither you allow yourself to believe it or not, you are." Cuddy said looking in his blue eyes, then she smiled as let her thumb wipe off most of the lipstick that was now smeared around his lips.

"Who knows, maybe someday I'll be good enough for you to love me," he said looking in her eyes then swallowed.

She gave him a sad smile, "And maybe someday I'll be worth opening up to and give a real shot."

"I admitted my feelings for you, not drugged or anything," House said.

Cuddy nodded, "You did, and I know that had to be hard for you, it was for me. Thank you for that. So what time you want me to meet you at your place."

"We're suppose to eat at seven, so how about six, that way we can go over some ground rules beforehand." He explained.

"Sounds good, maybe I'll wear red," She said and winked at him as she walked to the door.

House smiled, "You're going to try and make me regret this aren't you?"

"Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it," Cuddy said with a evil grin and left. She go to Wilson's office and knocked once while she looked around to make sure House wasn't watching.

"Come in," Wilson called and the door opened to reveal Cuddy who looked a little blushed.

She closed the door behind her, "I'll be going to dinner with him, just wanted to let you know," she said as she turned around as if about to leave.

"Wait," He said jumping up out of his seat. "You can't just come in here and say that then leave. What happened?"

Cuddy turned back to look at him, "He said he loves me," she said looking at him with emotional eyes.

Wilson blinked at her, "We're talking about House right? He just came out and said it without being too drugged up to stop himself or the cover of a joke? He said it seriously?" She nodded and Wilson blinked some as he processed what he was being told. "What did you say?"

Cuddy swallowed, "I was as honest as I could be, I told him that I was serious about us. I told him that my feeling for him were strong and that I missed what we had before, but I wasn't sure if it was love."

"So you don't love him?" Wilson asked her surprised by the answer.

She sighed, "I don't know! Part of me... does and part of me... is too afraid to let it go that far yet. It's hard to explain, and I don't want to confuse him. I should get going, it wouldn't be good if he found me here."

"What's that suppose to mean?" He asked.

Cuddy stepped back from him and gave him an awkward look, "He thinks there might be something between us besides friendship."

Wilson chuckled at the idea of House being jealous of him and Cuddy, "Did you tell him that he was been ridiculous. I mean you're nice and good looking but we just don't have... chemistry."

"I tried, but I considered asking you to be a sperm donor the first time I asked you out and I didn't him. I asked you to be a character reference for my application for adoption, not him. And I rejected him when he asked me out on a date to go on a date with you, and all that stuff hurt him even thought he tried not to show it, it did." She said feeling bad.

"I never knew you were considering me as a sperm donor," He said understanding even more why House might feel intimidated, but at the same time feeling honored she'd considered him.

Cuddy shrugged, "Well House figured it out by the red clover in my trash, and I didn't ask after he figured it out because it was awkward. I'm surprised he didn't tell you though."

"He probably knew if he did, I would volunteer and considering he had feeling for you, if you had my child I imagine that would be pretty hard for him." Wilson said really thinking about it, and now he understood why House had always seemed to take him dating Cuddy so seriously. "I'm sure it doesn't help that I slept with Stacy when they were together."

"I wouldn't imagine it would make him feel better," She said watching him. "I'll talk to you later, take care and I wish you luck on getting him to eat."

"Thanks," Wilson said watching as she made a swift exit.


	76. Chapter 76: How much is too much?

_Alright people, a brand new chapter up to you to read. Hope you enjoy and I was really hoping to hear what you think of the first file that Wilson opened. I want to thank all of those who helped me in making my decision. Romanticly tragic perfection, Bakerstreet Blues, and Harper Penn thanks for all the help. Also I was hoping to get an idea of where my readers are at with Wilson and House? In other words if you have the time, please address the name of the chapter in relation to Wilson's actions; do you think Wilson is going to far, also do you think House would be forgiving if he found out?_

Wilson sat down and smiled some at the thought of House and Cuddy going on a date, fake or not. _"And no, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate."_ That was what House had told him the first time he'd suspected that there was something more between the two. He saw that there were a million things that could go wrong with the relationship and was worried about Cuddy's inability to figure out her feelings, but for House he hoped it worked.

Wilson looked a the clock to see that it was 3:30, so he still had a good amount of time before House would be coming in to get him for his workout. He got up and walked out side seeing Tina. "Tina, could you let anyone who might come by for me know that I'm really busy doing some research. If they insist on seeing me then give me a call, but my door will be locked."

"Yes Dr. Wilson, I'll let anyone who comes looking for you that you're busy," Tina said with a polite smile.

"Thanks," he said back and walked back in his office locking the door. Wilson look through the balcony door to see House looking at something on his desk, probably the file on his newest patient. He unlocked a cabinet he used to mainly to keep an extra set of cloths and the gifts that patients gave him that he didn't have sitting out for display, but now it also held House's medical files. He stared at all three boxes that lined the bottom of the cabinet. Basic math told him that House's adolescent years were the worst, his Marine years were in the middle and his early childhood was the lightest. He knew he wasn't ready for what would be in the adolescent years, but he felt confident he could handle the years House spent in the Marines and House had emphasized that those years changed him. The decision had been made.

He opened up the box and was impressed by the organization. It had seven main dividers that separated the files by years. Each file then was lined up by date with on it and a location, with almost all of the last three years worth of files having POW following after the normal information. Wilson's eyes lingered on the letters POW, this was what House had used to try and explain his ETP. He felt nervous as he grabbed the first file that had POW listed beside it and just held it. It was heavy and he glanced over at the balcony door seeing House playing with his ball and then looked back at the file. This was the moment of truth. _Moment of betrayal would fit better,_ said a voice in his head that sounded a lot like House. He swallowed hard and opened it.

He was met with diagram of a man with arrows pointed at different points indicating injuries. Among those listed were puncture marks every two inches across whole body, inflamed eyes that aren't reactive, and missing teeth. Wilson turned to page and his face whiten considerably as he saw a picture of a man looking wild eyed covered in bruises with blood running down him from some sort of wounds. House's lips were bleeding, there was still rope embedded in his arms from being bound and burns on his hands as he was sitting on a box. He read a notation on the bottom of the photo that said House had been missing for 2 months and 8 days. He felt sick as he turned the page and saw some familiar writing.

Date : 1981, 21st of March

Name: Sergeant Gregory House United States Marine Corps

POW : Date Captured – 1981, 9th of January

1/09 – I, Sgt House, was captured by physical force at 18:28 in Russia. A beating followed my capture which resulted in two broken ribs, a broken or fractured bone in my left foot, and many open wounds. Next I was striped of my clothes and given a rinse off with a high pressure water hose, from there my hands were shackled with chains to a bar with not enough chain for me to stand-up or lay down.

1/10 – I was hooded during the early morning and whipped with a leather braided Bull whip for and hour. Salt was pushed in the wounds afterwords and I was chained back to the bar.

1/11 – It rained in the night and I was able to drink some. Salt from my woulds was cleaned out when I was given a bath in raw alcohol. Today I was able to talk them into letting me eat a rat, they taunted me but I got food. I was tied up and left to hang by my arms for several hours.

1/12 – Solitary treatment began around noon. I did not eat, drink, or have any interaction of any kind for 5 days.

1/13 – Solitary

1/14 – Solitary

1/15 – Solitary

1/16 – Solitary

1/17 – As soon as I was taken from solitary they tied me to a table with speakers on it playing sounds of loud machines at top volume, after most of the day they finally took me back to my cell. I was given some stale bread and milk.

1/18 – Electrocution sessions half an hour, two times.

1/19 – Electrocution sessions one hour, three times a day.

1/20 – I was given the scraps from some trays, electrocutions sessions were continued with six one hour sessions.

1/21 – More electrocution, this time there were two sessions two hours long. Followed by a dry drowning session that lasted at least and hour.

1/22 – All morning was a dry drowning session, in the evening I was awarded with whipping again, but no salt was put in the wounds.

1/23 – They played nice, giving me two meals and as much water as I could drink, no punishments.

1/24 – For the first time since capture I was unchained and allowed to stand up right, then I was taken to a fenced yard with officers and allowed spend most of the day outside. I was fed two meals, given some juice and water. I was allowed to shower outside with soap before coming in and finding that my small cell had been cleaned of the waste on the floor. It was hard not to be grateful.

1/25 – A doctor came in and bandaged me, I got one meal and milk.

1/26 – I was given some elastic shorts to wear, two meals, and water.

1/27 – All good things come to an end, loyalty has it's price. No more meals, more drowning, and some hits from the officers.

1/28 – I was beaten bad in the early morning, jaw was dislocated, both eyes blackened beyond ablity to open, throat bruised so bad that it swelled up only barely allowing me to breath, and my knees were both dislocated – I was not given any medical treatment.

1/29 – My left knee was put back in it's socket and I was tied up and left to hang by my arms till the next morning.

1/30 – I was given water and my jaw was knocked back in place I was chained up in the furnace room.

1/31 – I'm getting blisters from the heat, I don't think hell could be this hot.

2/01 – I puked blood today, looks like there might be some internal damage from my last beating, my abdomen is ridged. I was moved back to my old cell and another doctor checked me out, I refused the medicine so they mixed it with a gallon of water to get me to take it, I couldn't turn down water. I was given longer chains so I could lay down as the doctor recommended.

2/02 – I was given a meal and more water with medicine mixed in, also my right knee was finally put back in place, I passed out not long after.

2/03 – Today I was moved to another cell, one with a bed that has restraining straps located on it. I was strapped down and my eyes kept open with an odd contraption, then a large bright light was turned on close to my eyes. Someone stayed there putting eye drops in ever half hour or so.

2/04 – I was given a tube that I could drink through so that they wouldn't interrupt their new torture through light. I also got to drink some soup with it.

2/05 – The light treatment finally stopped but my vision didn't return.

2/06 – No vision still, but I can't show weakness, it could mean my life. My abdomen is feeling better, I was given a meal, water, and chained up in my old cell.

2/07 – Vision is coming back some, making sure not to let the Russians know. They are starting to play nice again. I got two meals and a gallon of water.

2/08 – My vision is better today, but still no more the 50%. I was unchained and taken outside to the fenced yard for so I can exercise. I had to take my chance while I had it. For part of the time only one guard was there, I choked him and got him to pass out. I quickly took everything I could get off him and used his heavy jacket to get over the razor wire on the top of the fence and ran about two miles until my knee couldn't handle it any longer, to which I wrapped tightly. I then covered my face with mud and climbed high in a tree to sleep after setting some twigs up so I'd hear them if they come.

2/09 – Woke up to find knee swollen terribly, but I've got to get moving while it's still early and dark. Found a small farm and pillaged some food from the garden, broccoli, garlic, carrots, and kale. Climbed up in the very top of the barn and laid out on a beam when the owners came out I was surprised to hear them talking like Americans, took a chance and let them find me. They took me in for the night, saying tomorrow they would drive me out a good distance and let me out. Got a meal out of it and a warm bed, first one since I got to Russia.

2/10 – Left early in the morning before anyone got up, couldn't risk that they would turn me in. Walked about 12 miles before my knee collapsed under me, letting me know it was time for a break, caught some fish for dinner.

2/11 - Evidently my Russian accent isn't too bad, it got me a ride to Kuybyshev and a sheet of paper. Sent coded message to the US Military base in Novosibirsk. Got caught in a restaurant I was sitting in to warm up by an officer who had heard about the escaped American soldier, and I was taken back to Omsk military prison. A bit (like the ones used on horses) was put in my mouth and boiling hot water was poured down my throat, both my esophagus and lungs, as I choked, were burned. Third molar on my bottom jaw, right side was broken with hammer and then pulled out in the sharp shards with no pain killers. I was stripped of all clothes.

2/12 – The day before was only a warm up. Hair was slowly twisted out in chunks from privates, armpits and inner thigh, then some metal shoes with nails coming up in the soles were put on my feet and I was forced to stand while taking a harsh two hour whipping session. I was then showered in a mix of lemon juice and ground red pepper making the wounds hurt ten times as much, not to mention a large helping in my eyes. I was then dragged by my hair to a building to be hung up by my wrists with weights tied to different appendages. Soldiers give me some hard hits or place extremely cold or hot objects to my skin. I was left hanging over night.

2/13 – It only took a few tugs to get my bones to fall from their joints and was taken down and chained by my neck. I think I may have screamed, it would be the first one, but the pain is all encompassing, everything is hurting so bad. Movement isn't even an option, breathing hardly is. Ankles, knees, shoulders, elbows and wrists were all pulled from the joints. Cigarettes are put out on me as men walked by, I think a couple of them pissed on me, mind was fuzzy from pain.

Wilson looked away abruptly, he felt sick as he tried not to think about what House had endured. He was on page five of House's handwritten report and flipped over the next eight feeling a sting of guilt, that he could pass over reading them, when House had been forced not only write it but live it. He glanced at the pages after the report to see several pictures of House's knee followed by six papers that described the two surgeries that had to be done to fix his right knee. Then there were pictures of House's back were deep gashes in his skin were stapled shut and a two page description about that, the condition of the wounds and treatments. Next was a picture of an arm where the bone had been broken and set wrong, then pictures of treatment and follow up pictures, of course it had four pages of reports about the treatment and medications after it. Then there were pictures of his eyes followed by three pages that described the treatment and recovery of his vision. Several pictures followed of puncture marks on his skin and then reports and treatments revealed it was from being placed in a iron maiden for days at a time. There were more pictures and reports on his hands, teeth, feet, and more general ones on infections and viruses.

Wilson looked at the release date with shocked eyes, House was released after what looked to be against many doctors recommendations after only three weeks of treatments. He look out the balcony window to see House talking to someone, probably his team. He looked the same as he had earlier but Wilson felt his eyes tearing up some as he looked a the him. The man had been through so much both physically and emotionally in his life and yet he rarely complained about it seriously, the most he would do is a make a joke ever so often. Wilson felt a both relieved and scared by House's personal strength to be able to push through what all had happened to him in his past and function as well as he did. You would think being tortured and abused the first 24 years of your life would leave a person more than distant from people and appearing emotional detached.

Time did strange things to people, Wilson could remember the first time he saw the scares on Houses back. They had been playing tennis and went to the locker room to wash up and get changed, and when House came out with just a towel and turned around to put something up he'd done a double take at the amount of scars that littered the mans back. House had scars on other places as well, but the amount on his back implied something darker. House had realized soon that Wilson was acting odd and figured it out, making a joke about have to get Stacy to cut her nails so she would mark him up during sex. When he didn't laugh and asked House what really happened, he was met with an intimidating stare with cold calculating eyes and a low flat voice asking, 'What do you think happened?' It had been the first time he'd felt afraid to answer something House asked, and in that moment he made a decision not to push personal things with House. They both watched each other for a moment and then House changed the subject seeing if they were still on for the double date that night.

Wilson had dreams about those marks on House's back for month, and wondered how they got there and who would do such a thing. Then as time passed he worried less and then the infarction happened and he saw a more cold, angry, and sad man. For a while he felt sorry for House but that only made House lash out of him for his sympathy and it seemed easier to question if maybe House deserved some of the bad he got because he was cold. Later when he saw the scars he didn't question how they got there, it seemed to obvious that House had said some cold and vicious truth to hurt someone and that person taught him a lesson. Wilson took in some deep breaths as his vision blurred and looked away from House. He'd never been cruel enough to say how he felt and for that he was thankful, but it made him question what kind of person would even think such a thing. He was still in an emotional haze when his office phone rang.

"Um, yes, hello?" Wilson answered.

"Dr. Wilson, I'm sorry to bother you but this is Tina and you have a visitor who was wondering if you could spare a moment. His name is Tucker." Tina said with hesitation.

Wilson wiped his eyes of the moister that was there and took a deep breath then let it out slowly. "Yeah, I can see him. I'll unlock the door in just a moment." He put up the file and ran his hand through his hair hoping that if Tucker did pick up on the slight redness of his eyes it could be played off as him being tired. He opened the door with a smile. "Hello Tucker," he said hoping to sound cheery.

Tucker gave a polite smile, even though he didn't really want to. "Dr. Wilson, I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment."

Wilson noticed the more formal title Tucker had chosen, "Sure." He said holding the door open and watched as O'Neil walked in and took a seat. He sat back down at his desk. "So what do I owe the pleasure of this visit."

Tucker's smile was gone, "Do you know how I got your address?"

Wilson blinked with confusion, "Um... no, not really."

"I called a friend that works for the Marines. Now, I'm guessing you don't call friends to look up strangers address often, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Unless you happen to have some kind of state ID or Social Security number, it can be tricky to narrow down the list of people who share the same name. It usually takes several hours to find out that kind of information, but it didn't take that long to find you." Tucker said watching Wilson with disappointment.

Wilson waited for Tucker to say more but realized the man was waiting on him to say something. "And why did you find me so fast?" He asked.

Tucker frowned, "Because he found a Dr. James Wilson's name attached to a request for Greg's medical files. When he told me the delivery was to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital I knew it was the right one. All he had to do was a search on the credit card number and I was on my way to your place."

Wilson smiled, "Okay, well that wasn't as interesting as I had hoped it would be."

"Why did you pull his medical files Dr. Wilson?" Tucker asked not swayed by Wilson's casualness.

"Because I'm his doctor and I needed to have his medical history," Wilson said with confidence.

Tucker could see how manipulative Wilson could be and didn't like it. "Then why not ask him?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Maybe you haven't noticed, but House doesn't really like talking about his time in the service, or his childhood. He told me that all I needed to know was in the files and that he wished I wouldn't talk to him about it. I wasn't going to force him to tell me about some of the most physically and emotionally grueling times in his life."

Tucker smiled, "Well, I have to say your one slippery bastard, you got everything covered in that little speech. Logical reasoning, explanation of the why the subject isn't discussed, even more impressive is the implied idea that anyone else talking about it would upset him, and then you turn my question around on me in an attempt to make me feel guilty. But... you're not perfect Dr. Wilson, you made one really bad mistake."

"I am his doctor and I requested his files so that I would have an good medical history on him. He asked me to, if you don't believe that then why didn't you mention it at my place last night?" Wilson said with a smirk.

"I would have if you didn't have him wrapped around your little finger so tight. I doubt he'd believe me and if per chance he did, then he'd be one to get hurt, not you." Tucker said with disappointment.

Wilson raised an eyebrow, "I'm sorry you don't believe me Tucker, but I'm tell you the truth."

O'Neil stood up and looked down at Wilson with loathing, "You lying sack of shit! I may not be privy to his medical files but there isn't any law against me looking at a request form. My friend faxed me a copy and guess what? That wasn't Greg's signature on that line. If you're going to break the rules then at least have the balls to admit it."

"His signature was a bit off? That's what this is really about?" Wilson sighed while shaking his head. "Tucker, I know you are only trying to look out of House's interest, but I didn't forge his signature. House's right hand was shattered when he was attacked at his house, his signature has changed because of the damage."

Tucker pulled out a card of his pocket, "You're right it has, but not that much. It's my wife's birthday this Sunday and since I wont be able to make it home in time I decided to send her a card and Greg was more than happy to sign it too." He waited for Wilson's eyes to meet his, it didn't take long. "If I'm smart enough to catch you, House surely is. He trusts you and thinks so highly of you, I can tell by the way he talks, and then you could betray him like that?"

Wilson stood up too, "Who the hell do you think you are? You may have been his friend for a couple of years along time ago, but you've been gone a long time and I'm the one that's stood by him through everything that's happened, not you. I didn't betray him, I'm trying to help him, but I can't do that if I don't know what was done to him. He..." Wilson stopped looking out the balcony window at House and feeling a slap of guilt as he saw him taking some pills. "He's finally going to therapy because with the attack, the PTSD, the HIV possibility and fact that he may never walk again... it was wearing on him so hard. One night I came home to find him crying in the dark in my room."

"That doesn't give you the right to violate his privacy." Tucker said sternly.

Wilson looked back at him with irritation, "Have you ever seen him cry?"

"Yes, a few times, hell I've seen John House cry once, but I didn't use that as an excuse to fulfill my curiosity at the expense of their trust." Tucker said with accusing eyes.

"What was John crying about?" Wilson asked with interest.

Tucker looked disgusted at Wilson, "You really think I'm going to tell you? It was a private moment, I'd have to think about if I would answer that if Greg asked and it was his father." He looked Wilson up and down, "Do you have no concept of boundaries or what having REAL respect for a someone is about?"

Wilson put his hands on his hips, "You have no idea what I've done for him, or what it's cost me. I care about him and of course I respect House, but as for his father, no I don't have an kind of respect for a man who will treat a child the way he treated House."

"Going behind his back to get his medical files, that doesn't show respect." Tucker said looking at Wilson as if he was a particularly dumb child. "He trusts you, you have to know that. He considers you a friend, he's staying with you, he lets you be his doctor, and yet... it's like you don't understand how rare and valuable his trust in you is."

"I know it's hard for him to trust. We've been friends for a dozen years and it's taken a long time for him to trust me as much as he does, but he still doesn't trust me completely. His father made sure to ruin trust for him so that his actions would always be a secret, and I'm going to see to it that he doesn't get away with it." Wilson said with a sense of righteousness.

Tucker shook his head, "John is dead and what he did to Greg can never be undone, so you better come up with a better lie when Greg finds out. Also, did it ever occur to you that the reason after all that time that he doesn't trust you is because you didn't deserve it? I'm sure this isn't your first time doing something to betray his trust, I wouldn't trust you with anything either if this is how you treat your friends."

Wilson gritted his teeth some, "It's clear that we don't agree on this issue. So what happens? Are you going to go running to House or what?"

Tucker thought about it, he really didn't agree with what Wilson was doing and didn't trust his motives. "No, like I said before he might not even trust me, and the damage is already done. He'll figure it out and whenever that happens it's not going to matter if he found out today or a year from now, it's still going to hurt the same amount. Maybe when that happens he'll realize that he should have worried less about trying to be a good enough friend to you and thought more about if you were worth being friends with in the first place." He said standing up and walking over to the door. "I want you to be very clear that when I act civil to you around Greg that is only for his benefit and doesn't mean that I've changed my mind in any regards to what you have done. You don't deserve his loyalty and I seriously doubt you'll have it after he finds out, hope it was worth it to you."

Wilson watch as the door closed and locked the door behind Tucker. He felt a knot in his throat and a rush of panic and doubt, both Tucker and Cuddy seemed to think this would be the straw to break House's friendship with him. They had gotten mad and had fights before but House always came back to him, no matter who's fault it was, but what if Cuddy and Tucker where right? What if this time it cost him more than House being mad for a week or two; what if it cost him his friendship with House?


	77. Chapter 77: The Dinner Table

_Alright, I got a load of reviews this last chapter and am looking forward to hearing what you think of this next one. Some of the people who reviewed didn't have an account so i couldn't respond to their reviews by PM so I'm addressing them here, before the chapter._

_Dear Freddy,_

_Interesting indeed, you seem to be conflicted, which I think most people are. Would House do it if if were Wilson, well first instinct is – yes, of course, but then again House would only do it for a medical reason... and Wilson has no real medical reason. Unless... you think he's trying to fix House's emotional and psychological issues, but of course he isn't House's psychiatrist, but then again, in some ways he SO is. Hmmm... (scratch head)_

_As far as Wilson being there...well that's debatable isn't it? How many times has he left House? Would you honestly call walking away from your BEST friend after they obviously could have died on Christmas Eve... being there? Or the DBS Wilson pushed on him to try and save Amber, a procedure that could have killed him? Wilson's put up with bullshit from House that much is true and for the most part he's been there but he's walked out at the worst times, and as far as him losing in love because of House, that's bull in my opinion, Wilson cheated and pushed his wives away not House and Amber was a fluke._

_I find your reasoning that House should accept blame for Wilson's action in getting his medical files interesting and upsetting at the same time. If House was able to open up to Wilson about what he'd been through then Wilson wouldn't go looking, that's true. But by the same token, what say's that Wilson's entitled to the answer to that kind of stuff. Honestly if you'd been through what that report discussed and physical abuse at your fathers hands, do you think you OWE it to your friends to tell them or should it be your choice? But at the same time he's shown over and over again that he will break laws to fulfill his own curiosity... it's a very very interesting point of view. _

_Thank you so much – Nicole_

_Dear Max,_

_I see your point, yes Wilson does come across as self righteous at times, but House is the one who treats Wilson as if he has all the answers when it comes to emotions and emotional problems. House thinks Wilson is a better person than he is and therefore Wilson tries to have all the answers and at times I think that he does think he's a better person than House, but doesn't everyone. Okay, I'm not saying I do, but everyone in the hospital acts like House is some horrible person and they seem to think Wilson is the kindest person ever, so wouldn't anyone have this thought that they are meant to save this tortured soul? All friends cross boundaries from time to time, if they don't then they aren't close person friends. Wilson has crossed many but House has put him on a pedestal to do so and then shrugs it off when Wilson crossed those lines._

_I hadn't thought of Wilson having a mental illness but that could be a very interesting plot for sure. It could easily fit that he is replacing his 'lost' brother with House and is trying to 'save' him from himself in a sort of way. I love the beauty behind the idea of House distancing himself from Wilson to help Wilson, but he's definitely not strong enough at the moment. Like anyone who's first opening up about a tortured past right now he's very raw and vulnerable although he is trying to put up a good front, but who knows about later. Love your thoughts and I really appreciate that you too the time to put them down in a review. If you have an account with fanfiction then PM me and we can talk even more about it._

_Thank you for your time - Nicole_

House looked at the time and took a oxycodone, he only had half an hour before he got off work and his work out would begin. He started reading a magazine when he heard his door opened and looked up to see Thirteen walk in looking determined.

"I sent you to the clinic along with your boyfriend so unless you found me a REALLY cool patient you can go, this is Daddy's quiet time." He said looking back at the magazine.

Thirteen walked over to him and pulled the magazine out of his hands, "You don't get to blame every thought I have and decision I make on my disease."

House looked at her with cold eyes, "Is there something else I should blame this on? Better for me to say you've turned soft after getting some bad news than to think you're incompetent of doing your job."

"So if someone disagrees with you that means they're either suffering from some personal issue or they've become inept at their job?! I didn't do the lung biopsy because I don't think it's lung cancer and I told you I wasn't going to do the lung biopsy when you told me to do it." She said with a viscous smile.

He scoffed, "So let me get this clear, you're saying that you aren't going though an emotional event or incapable of doing your job, just unwilling." He said and paused giving her a chance to correct his logic and when she didn't he nodded, "Well that changes things, I guess I should fire you then. You know it crossed my mind that you might have just decided you didn't have to do your job, but then I thought you couldn't possible be that stupid."

Thirteen swallowed showing some fear although she wasn't willing to back down. "You can't fire me for disagreeing with you."

House smiled, "Not for disagreeing with me, no. But I can fire your for not doing your job, which is to work for me, which in-turn means doing what I tell you to do. I understand that you might not always agree with me and though that thought breaks my fragile heart you are still required to do what I tell you to do."

There was a knock and both Thirteen and House looked back to see Kutner who peeked his head in. "Am I interrupting something? I can come back."

House sighed and rolled his eyes, "Just tell me the results of the biopsy."

Kutner looked House in the eyes, "It's cancer, non-small cell, specifically it looks like Bronchioalveolar Carcinoma." He looked back at Thirteen, "sorry," he said and looked back to House expectantly.

House had thought Kutner would have left and sighed as the man looked back at him with his head still in the door. "Yes, is there something else you needed to tell me?"

"No, I just thought, well I was wondering if you wanted me to turn this case over to Dr. Wilson?" Kutner said a with some anxiety as he could feel the tension in the room.

"Not today, it's almost five, we'll turn it over to him tomorrow, was that all?" House asked sounding very hopeful that it was.

"Yeah," Kutner said and left.

They both looked at one another neither of them speaking, Thirteen squirmed some under his gaze, "What?" she asked but he didn't respond. "No I told you so? No lecture about how you're always right and this should prove as a reminder if I ever doubt you again?"

"I've never said that I was incapable of error, if I thought I was then I wouldn't really need a team would I? Disagreeing with me is fine and arguing your reasons is usually welcomed, unless I'm at the end of my rope because the patient is about to die if we don't try something. I can even respect a doctor saying no on principals if they're willing to take me on or go running to Cuddy, but next time you decide to not do your job because you don't think you have too, you'll be fired. Do we have an understanding?" He said searching her eyes for confirmation.

She nodded as she felt foolish and unsure of herself, "Do you really think I've changed since I got the diagnoses? Do you think it's made me weak?

House looked at her and then around uncomfortably, this wasn't the kind of thing he was good with. "Yes," he said meeting her eyes with truthful yet softer eyes. "It would change anyone to know what's going to kill them and at the same time know there is nothing they can do to stop it. At first you shrug it off under the theory that no one chooses how they die, but at some point that stops being a comfort." He said swallowing as he could see that she was surprised by the depth of his understanding. "Then you get pissed because you realized that you don't have any control to stop it, that somehow you got one of the few thing their still isn't a cure for and it wasn't something you could have stopped. You feel raw and exposed as you can't help but obsess on how you had no control over getting this disease or control over how it will kill you slowly, not matter what you do, some people bargain with God or Karma. The next step is suppose to be depression, but that's not the right word – reality fits better. People who believed in God realizes that he doesn't actually listen, life isn't fair and they were dealt a sucky hand but it doesn't matter because for everyone else life will go on without them. You realized that you never really mattered in this world. Some people can get to the point that they're okay with meaning nothing and having no real impact on the world, others... can't." He said and looked down as he could feel her eyes on him searching for how he could know how she felt. "I know you disagreed and just wanted to save the girl from anymore pain then she had to endure, I don't pick tests or procedures because I want to hurt patients. I pick them to help save the patients life because I'm their doctor and that's my job."

"Do you think I'm weak?" Thirteen asked in a soft voice.

"Why does it matter what I think?" He asked exasperated but his eyes softened on her pleading ones. "No, you're human. If you acted like nothing had happened even though you were devastated because you couldn't handle being vulnerable or letting anyone in... that would be beneath you, that would show true weakness. You're strong." He said and then quickly looked away.

Her eyes shined with gratefulness and concern, "What do you have?" she asked so soft it was barely a whisper.

House closed his eyes for a second, "I didn't say I had anything," he said refusing to look back up at her when he opened his eyes.

"House, it's okay, I wont tell," Thirteen whispered as she moved a hand to put on his shoulder but stopped just above it. He stayed silent and she swallowed, "You aren't weak House. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met."

His haunted eyes met hers for a brief second and then he scoffed looking down. "I'm not strong, I can't even walk." He took in a deep breath, "I've got to go, have to exercise the legs today."

She knew that was his way of dismissing her. "You're stronger than you think," she said and gave him a half smile as she left.

House let out a heavy sigh as he watched her walked away. He felt anything but strong as he ran his hands up and down his thighs for a second. How could someone think he was strong when he was sitting in a wheelchair scared about the amount of pain that was going to come from working his muscles? He looked at his phone to see that it was three minutes past five and gathered up his stuff then rolled out of his office locking it behind him. He pushed himself to Wilson's door and tried to open it but was surprised when it was locked, "Wilson? You in there?"

Wilson jumped up out of his seat so fast he fell ass first on the floor, he quickly scrambled to the door and opened it looking at House with wild eyes, "What?!"

House raised an eyebrow, "It's past five, time for my workout, why was the door locked?"

"Isn't a man allowed to have some privacy?" Wilson said as he looked at the clock to discover House was right about the time and started gathering his stuff.

House's brows came together as he thought, "What do you feel like you have to hide from me at work?"

Wilson looked at House with surprise, "Who said I was hiding something from you? I just said I wanted some privacy, not everything is about you House."

"Well I was under the impression that I was the only one up here that barged into your office without permission, which would be the only reason to lock the door." House said as he looked into Wilson's guilt ridden eyes. "Then again maybe the issue is that you don't ever get any time without me, is that it? Maybe you don't want me living with you anymore."

Wilson knew that if he didn't want House nosing into things this was the rope to grab a hold of. "Having you stay with me..." he said with a false smile that he let drop as he sighed," it can be exasperating at times honestly, I'm sure we both feel that way. I don't want you to leave though, maybe we should just try to give each other some extra space."

House's eyes dropped from Wilson's, "It's this eating thing, it's made everything even more awkward. I shouldn't have told you, all it's done if mess things up."

"No, it isn't that, I'm glad you told me," Wilson said as he tried to stop House from pulling away. "I was thinking of inviting Megan over for dinner and to visit and afterwords her and I would go and watch a late movie or go dancing to give you some space."

House nodded, "Cool, I'll call Tuck or Cuddy and go over there to give you two some space?"

"No, House I want you to have dinner with us, Megan has really been wanting to get to know you better." Wilson said with a smile.

"Why does your girlfriend want to know me better?" House said as saw Wilson lock his office door and started toward the physical therapy gym.

Wilson felt a warmth in his heart, "Because she understands that you are a important part of my life and she actually cares about that."

"What all does she know about me?" House asked glancing at Wilson as he rolled into the gym.

"She knows in general what happened at your apartment, like that you were tortured and that the men were soldiers, but no names or specifics on what happened to you. I haven't told her the story of your leg. She saw the keyboard and I told her what instruments you play. She knows you've been having a hard time." Wilson said watching House as he managed to get on the exercise bike.

"Let me know when 45 minutes have passed, I was wanting to get some time in on the leg press." House said still thinking about Wilson's idea of them having dinner.

When they were done House was covered in sweat and his leg was hurting tremendously. "Here take another oxycodone." Wilson said handing House his backpack.

House would have refused but the pain was so bad he felt sick. He took the pill and for the first time in a long time he chewed it in desperation to get relief. "We got any of those shots at home?" He asked Wilson.

Wilson nodded, "Listen if it's going to be a bad night, we don't have to worry about inviting Megan over or anything."

"I'm going to be fine, I'll take a shot and all will be good. Give her a call and invite her over, I'm sure it'll be fun," House said giving all the effort he had in a false smile. He took his bath as soon as he got in, not wanting to meet Megan while smelling like a gym and he trimmed his shaggy beard back into the slight scruff it usually was kept in. He even fixed his hair a little all the time thinking about how much he'd let himself go since he got out of the hospital. He cut his nails and put on some cologne then got dressed in some nice slacks and new blue dress shirt he had bought at the _Just Tall_ store Wilson had taken him to, where he bought his suit for his date with Cuddy. "Alright I'm ready," House said as he rolled over to look at Wilson cooking in the kitchen.

Wilson glanced at House and then did a double take, "You look...GOOD." He said with surprise.

"And apparently that surprises you, you know you could have been a pal and told me I was letting myself go to far and looking like crap, that's what friends do." House said with annoyance.

"You were going through a rough time. What was I suppose to say, 'Hey I know that you just went through a traumatic experience and that you are super depressed because you might have an incurable disease but you really need to start grooming better, because you look like shit.'" Wilson said sarcastically.

"Exactly, see that wasn't that hard," House mocked.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Sorry to disappoint you but I'm not going to demean the way you look when your whole life seems like it might just fall apart with a slight tug."

"Some friend you are," House said rolling his eyes dramatically.

Wilson laughed some, "You want to know the real reason I didn't say anything? Having you look like crap made me look even better, that's right, it was all a ploy to swoon the ladies."

House chuckled giving Wilson a knowing look, "I should have know it would have something to do with your panty-peeler ways."

"You really do look good House, actually you didn't have to look exactly that good for my date, by the end of the night she's not going to want to leave with me." Wilson said with a pout.

"Oh yes, I can see it now, she looks at my wheels and can't resist my sparkling eyes and tender words, she tosses her hair and says, 'Sorry Jimmy, I just can't fight these feelings for House any longer.' Then she jumps in my lap and we roll away in the sunset." House teased and then scoffed, "Don't worry Wilson, you forget that you are the handsome wonderboy of Oncology, ladies knees shake as you walk by and their stomachs knot as you flash those soft brown eyes at them, and it isn't just the chemo."

"Why thank you for noticing my incredible powers, but I must remember to use them for good of mankind," Wilson said with a goofy smile.

"Does that include helping me not say stupid thing tomorrow night? Cuddy decided she'd come with me as a date." House said uncertain eyes.

Wilson faked surprise, "Great, the way you talked at lunch I thought it was a definite no."

"That's what I thought but we talked and she decided she'd come after all. That reminds me, I need to get my dress uniform dry cleaned, the bar Tuck is taking us to after dinner is exclusively for Military personnel and their significant others, not to mention Tuck wanted me to wear it." House said looking a little anxious.

"Actually I'll grab your suit and take it to the dry cleaners on my way to pick up Megan, that way it'll be sure to be done tomorrow, just give me the key to your storage locker. I guess it's good then that I'm not going to be able to go for after dinner drinks." Wilson said with a smile.

House shrugged, "It would have been fine, I'd just ask Cuddy to pretend to be with Tuck and then me and you could have played a little don't ask because it's obvious," he said wagging his eyebrows.

"Hmm, to bad I have that concert to get to with Megan, it could have been interesting, darn," Wilson said with a smile.

"Oh don't act that way, you know you want this," House said throwing Wilson the key.

Wilson chuckled, "Oh yes, why else would I be friends with you except to try and get in your pants. I'll be back in twenty to thirty minutes, don't touch anything on the stove or in the oven."

"I'm not a child you know!" House yelled after Wilson and the door closed. He rolled back in the kitchen and opened the oven door to see the meat cooking then closed it up and picked up a pot from the stove and put it back in it's place. He did it just because Wilson had told him not too and it felt good in a way to break the rules a little.

He looked back over at the keyboard and swallowed, he'd been needing to practice. Tucker always seemed to try and get him to play and he'd made a deal to play at the next donor party which was only a week away. He rolled over to it and plugged it in then stared at the keys, playing the piano had always been on of his favorite things. He turned it on and let his fingertips caress the keys some then he started playing, he cringed at the first mistake he heard two minutes in but pushed on. His fingers felt clumsy compared to how they usually moved, but he knew it would get better with practice, this wasn't the first time he'd had some fingers broken.

Wilson could softly hear the playing of the piano as he walked up to the door and smile. He unlocked and opened the door as softly as he could, then Megan and him walked in to see House playing with his eyes closed as his head swayed. When he was done with the song he opened his eyes and got a small ovation that made him jump as he realized that Wilson and Megan were behind him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Megan said with an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry about it," House said now facing them, "by the way I touched everything," he said with a smirk looking at Wilson. Wilson frowned as he went to check on his food in the kitchen and House smiled bigger.

"You play wonderfully," Megan said.

House looked at her with skepticism, "Not really, I'm okay. So, I hear that you are interested in getting to know me better."

Megan blushed some, "Yes I am Dr. House, from everything James has told me you seem to be a very interesting man, very talented too."

House nodded his head awkwardly, "Yeah well Wilson's a softy, he could find something interesting to say about a house fly."

Megan didn't look discouraged, "So, how did you two meet?"

"I bailed him out of jail, he didn't tell you this story?" House said with an evil smile.

"No, no I didn't. It's actually a really boring story," Wilson said walking in the living room while still drying his hands.

"Maybe when you tell it, people always seem to have a blast listening when I tell it," House said with innocent eyes that didn't seem to fit him.

"Oh come on James, I'm sure it's not that bad." She said then looked back at House, "What did he get arrested for, going to slow, or over use of his blinker?"

House smiled, "Well like any good bromance it starts before he was arrested. We were both attending a medical conference for the weekend. Now I don't know if you've ever been to a medical conference before but for the most part they are about as fun as they sound, every now and then there is actually a good lecture you want to hear but for the most part it's a snooze fest. So I was at the hotel bar and everyone is kissing everyone elses ass about this lecture and that lecture and who they work for and how much better their doing and then I see him." House said smiling at Wilson, "There he is not talking to anyone and carrying around this manilla envelope around looking nervous, at first I thought he had to be a drug dealer, but he just seemed to uptight for that. So I walk by him and 'accidentally' knock the envelope out of his hands, and of course read the sender before handing it back to him and then walking off. What I learn is that this envelope is from Diamond Fair Bear Attorney's Office. Which doesn't sound all that interesting and in most environments I would have let it go, but you've got to remember how boring medical conferences are, so I do some investigating. I tell some random people that my secretary called and said that I got a package from Diamond Fair Bear Attorney's Office, and I wished I knew what kind of work they did and it pays off a guy puts his hand on my shoulder and says they mainly do divorces. So it starts to make sense and I decide I'll by this up tight nervous, about to be divorced man a drink but when I find him he's drunk... I mean wasted!" House says looking at Wilson, "Not only that he's yelling at this guy at the jukebox because he keeps playing _Leave a Tender Moment Alone_ over and over again. So there Wilson is getting more and more agitated while this other guy just keeps it up, finding Wilson more amusing than frightening. Then I see his eye twitch and he grabs his beer while glaring at this asshole and I'm sure he's about to hit it over the guys head but suddenly he turns and throws it into this huge antique mirror and shatters. Everything got quite and all eyes went from the broken pieces to Wilson, who's eyes are wide with shock at what he did. Then the cops get called and arrest him, of course he's so worried about his envelope that he forgets his keys at the bar so I grab them for him and decide I owe it to the guy to bail him out. I mean he did keep me entertained all night which isn't an easy thing to do so I go to the police station and posted his bail. You should of seen his face when he saw me, I don't know who he was expecting but I certainly wasn't it." He said looking a Wilson with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, I also didn't expect to see that you drove my car to come and pick me up!" Wilson said shaking his head some as he looked at House even though he was smiling.

"I told you Cuddy sent me on a plane and sent pictures to all the car rental places warning them against renting me car and you can't really expect me to pay the ridiculous cab fair when I was already bailing you out of jail." House said with a glimpse of a smile as he tried to explain why it was okay for him to essentially steal Wilson's car.

"Why would Cuddy not want you to be able to get a rental car?" Megan asked.

"Because she's smart enough to know that if House got a rental car he would just drive back and he had a lecture to give on the last day of the conference that she need him to be there for. Now that was an interesting lecture, everyone stayed just to hear what he had to say. The lecture name was called Diagnostic Medicine: Taking Your Job Seriously, it was packed because even back then everyone had heard of the brilliant Dr. Gregory House and that he had just raised the bar." Wilson chuckled, "This guy stands up in a room full of self absorbed and knowledgeable men and calls them lazy! He said doctors were hiding their ignorance behind specialties and that having a specialty didn't excuse you from knowing basic medicine. A couple of doctors tried to call him out by saying he couldn't understand their fields in the depth they did because he wasn't a specialist and he smoked them. He was quoting articles from around the world in their field and proposing treatment options that had never been thought of before that he'd used on some of his patients in the past. This guy stole the show, just like Cuddy knew he would. There are a lot of good doctors out there but passionate doctors, that's rare." He said smiling at House.

House squirmed uncomfortably in his wheelchair, "Is the food done yet, I'm starving." He said and rolled over to the table.

Wilson's smile faded as he could see how uncomfortable the praise had made him, it had interested him before, but now he was fairly certain House didn't know how to feel about it because he wasn't use to it. "Yeah, I'll bring it to the table."

Megan sat down across from House, "You saw him struggling and you wanted to help, is that why you became a doctor too, you wanted to help people?"

"You're romanticizing it, I was bored and I found him interesting," House said flatly.

She smiled, "You found his struggle intriguing and when he got into trouble you pulled him out. That's a good thing. Why do you feel the need to lessen it?"

He sighed, "I stole his car, I bumped him so that I could read private information, and I pretty much stalked the man all night, not things most people consider to be good."

"You might as well leave it alone, getting House to admit that he did something good is a timeless argument." Wilson said as he put out trivets on the table.

"Why?" Megan asked him.

Wilson shrugged, "Who knows, at first I thought it was because he was afraid being seen as good would make him uncool. Then I thought it was because he was modest, but lately I've began thinking that it's because he was always berated so much and never praised as a child that he actually doesn't know how to react when he is praised now and that makes him feel awkward because it's engrained in his mind that he isn't a good person." He said bringing one of the dishes to the table. "But that's just my theory."

House glared at Wilson some and avoided Megan's eyes, "So how did you and Wilson meet?"

"We met at the dealership getting our oil changed, and just started talking. I gave him my number and a couple of days later he called and asked me out."

"Oh," House said disappointed by how boring the story was and started to make his plate.

Wilson saw and was about to say something but then remembered House hadn't really eaten much today and stopped himself as he brought the last two dishes out and then sat down. Wilson and Megan made their plates as well but both Wilson and Megan were watching as House just stared at his plate with a look of troubled thoughts.

"Is he okay?" Megan whispered to Wilson.

"I'm sure he's fine," Wilson said giving House a concerned look.

She licked her lips, "Maybe you hurt his feelings or embarrassed him?"

"House doesn't..." He started but was interrupted by Megan.

"Doesn't what? Have feeling?" Megan asked with accusing eyes.

Wilson's lip twitched as his guilt grew along with concern, "So House, what happened with your patient." House didn't even blink and Wilson leaned over and put a hand on House's covered bicep. "House?"

_House stared at the baked chicken with mashed potatoes and green peas on his plate which seemed to get bigger and bigger when he looked up he found it wasn't that it got bigger it was that he'd gotten smaller and he looked to see his dad and mother sitting at the table. His dad looked and him with soul piercing eyes and he looked back down at the plate which now only had peas and bread on it. He felt his pulse rise as he looked up to see his dad grinning he looked over to see concern in his mothers eyes as she watched him. He tried to get up and go outside, less food meant he was in trouble which meant he wasn't allowed to be at the table, but he couldn't move. He could see his mother and dad talking about something but couldn't make out what they were saying so he looked back at his plate._

"_Hey kid, what did you do this time?" he heard come from his plate._

_He swallowed looking extremely nervous, "I don't know."_

"_How do you not know?" the food asked._

"_Maybe I fainted again, I'm not sure," Greg whispered._

"_Well whatever it is he's pissed, and why are you at the table?" the food questioned._

"_I was wondering that too, I shouldn't be talking to you," Greg said with colder features than a child his age should have._

"_Why not? I'm not friends or a pet?" The food said logically, but Greg stayed silent. "You afraid the Colonel is going to shoot me like he did Rocket," the food said with a cruel laugh and Greg swallowed. "You know this isn't real right? I'm peas, peas can't talk! This is all in your head because you no one likes you! You don't have any friends because you're a freak GREG!" There was a cruel laugh again ringing in his ears. "You can't do anything right can you Greg? You can't even imagine friends right. Normal children imagine a person, but not you. You imagine peas talking to you. That's just pathetic. And even I don't like you! Your own imaginary friend doesn't like you, how's that." Greg closed his eyes, "Do you really think closing your eye is going to change anything? I'm in your head." The voice said and Greg covered his ear. "Kid are you stupid? I'm coming from you, you can't ignore me." The voice announced loudly. "Say something Greg." The voice teased. "You're him," he whispered. "Of course I'm him, you're whole life is controlled by him." The voice said softly. _

_BAM! Greg's eyes shot open to see his dad's hand on the table by his plate. "When I'm talking to you I mean for you to listen!" His dad's voice roared._

_Greg swallowed looking up in to those commanding eyes, "Yes Sir, Colonel."_

_His dad sighed, "This is part of the problem Gregory. You can't just disappear like that inside your head."_

"_He's a very unique boy, John. He gets bored when the work he's doing isn't challenging." Blythe said in a soothing voice._

_John looked to his wife, "Blythe, he's already in two grades ahead of what he's suppose to be and they already said moving him up any more is out of the question because it will cause social problems. He already is the freak of the school Blythe he doesn't need to be anymore of a social outcast."_

"_John, don't call him that," She said with hurt features._

_John sighed, "It's true, you know it, I know it and as much as he gets picked on in school Greg knows it." He said looking at his son, "You just always have to push don't you boy, and what does it get you? You ruin the curve for the class and then you get pummeled as soon as class is out. A kid twice your size knocks you down in the hall way and instead of keeping your mouth shut you decided to be a smart ass and get the snot knocked out of you. What's the heck is wrong with you boy? Your suppose to be a genius and yet you still haven't learned your place!"_

_Blythe put a hand on her husbands arm, "John, how do you expect him to act. You've taught him to be proud of his family and you don't take mistreatment from people, you stand up to them. He just wants to make you proud and be like you John."_

"_But he isnt' like me Blythe, look at him. He's a pile of twigs, maybe someday maybe he'll be big and strong but until that happens at school he needs to keep his head down and his nose on the grindstone. His grades are fine by his behavior issues are unacceptable. He daydreams in class, he can't work with his peers, he's a smart-ass to both the teachers and the students, he gets into fights he can't handle, and today he was caught in the advance library reading a book about Anatomy." John looked back at Gregory with narrowed eyes, "You think you were being smart there? Find any interesting pictures?"_

_Blythe looked down at Greg's confused face and looked back at John, "Sweetie, I'm sure it wasn't anything like that, he'd just nine years old. He wasn't looking at it for that, and I don't see why they're making such a fuss over this, he was just reading a book, it isn't like he was smoking on the grounds or drinking like I've seen some of the other children doing."_

"_Their making a fuss because it just goes to prove once again that he has no respect for authority, but that's going to change, isn't it Greg." His dad said looking into his eyes with determination. "Blythe get our camping gear together, Gregory and me are going to spend some quality time working this out."_

"_Okay John," Blythe said with a smile and looked to Gregory, "This will be great for both of you to get to understand and know each other better," she said with warm eyes and left._

_As soon as she was gone John leaned toward Greg, "No more of this kid stuff for you Greg, you want to read big boy books then it's only fair I treat you like a big boy. You will learn to behave and show respect to your elders whether it's out of true respect or out of fear for what will be waiting for you if you don't. You wanted my attention, well you got it for a full weekend. Better eat all that up, it's the last free meal you're going to be getting for a while and you just thought the ice baths were bad." John said getting up with a sneer._

_Greg shivered as John walked over to the side of him, "You think embarrassing me in front of my colleagues with your misconduct is funny?"_

"No," House answered looking down.

"_When I'm done with you'll learn your place and if you don't I'll just come up with something worse and worse until it finally sinks into that thick skull of yours. Are you listening to me boy?" John yelled._

"House!" Wilson yell for what must have been the hundredth time as he grabbed House's arm hard.

"NO! I'm sorry, please don't Sir. I'll be good, I promise!" House yelled in a panic and Wilson let go of his arm. House's breathing was rapid as he opened his eyes surprised his dad had relented so easily but what he saw wasn't the Colonel, it was a very worried looking Wilson. House blinked as he took some deep breaths realizing it had been a flashback and while doing so he let his eyes wonder to see a even more startled looking Megan. He swallowed and looked down as his body filled with tension. "Well looks like I've put on quite the show for you already, I'm going to bed." He said and rolled into his room slamming the door shut behind him.


	78. Chapter 78: Goodbye Oma

_Thank everyone for reading and reviewing, it's really appreciated. I hope you like this chapter and will let me know what you think about it. I also wanted to let everyone know that one of your fellow reader is writing their first story on fanfiction and i would encourage you to read it, it's a very interesting and different kind of story where the reader gets to see how House though and lived as a child. It's called I Remember and it's written by Romanticly tragic perfection._

Wilson ran his hand to the back of his neck as the looked at the door House had disappeared behind. He looked back to see House's full plate sitting there, mocking him. He wanted to throw the plate across the room but he knew all it would accomplish is making another mess for him to clean up and upsetting House farther.

"I should go, I'll call a cab," Megan said standing up and putting a reassuring hand on his arm.

"There's no need to do that, we'll go out like I said and give him some space," Wilson said and sighed.

Megan tilted her head, "Are you sure? He was out of it for what, an hour or longer?"

He would bet longer. He'd given up quickly when they first noticed that House was staring at his food and eaten their own hoping he'd just come out of it on his own. After they were done eating Wilson tried again but House just jerked and then became unresponsive again, so he talked to Megan some hoping House would come out of it but after a while House started shaking. Wilson yelled his name trying to pull him out of it and finally grabbed his arm roughly as he was about to fall from his wheelchair he was shaking so hard. "He needs some space, the best thing I can do for him I give it to him." He said looking back at Megan

She nodded, "Okay, let's go," she said she gathered her purse and jacket.

Wilson walked over to House's bedroom door, "Hey we're going to leave. If you need anything just call me and I'll be back okay?"

House swallowed as he sat on his bed in the darkness of his room. He looked over as he saw the doorknob move some but he had already propped a chair against it so no one could get in.

At first he thought the door was just stuck but it didn't take long for him to realize that House had something against it. "Hey, just say something to let me know your alright, please," Wilson said softly as he leaned against the door.

"Something," House said looking at the door.

Wilson smiled for a moment and it faded and he patted the door. "Call if you need anything."

House closed his eyes and waited until he heard the door being shut and locked. He turned on the lamp by his bed and pulled his back pack off the wheelchair. He unzipped it, pulling out the silver box and then took off the cross necklace he'd been wearing under his shirt that had the key on it and unlocked it. He swallowed as he saw all his Oma's letters laying there and decided it was time he finally read them.

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"Do you know who he thought you were when he came out of whatever that was?" Megan asked as Wilson drove.

Wilson frowned, "His father."

She swallowed, "Oh," she said feeling it would be wrong to pry as she looked around the car. "Does this happen often?"

"Remember when I use to tell you he'd have episodes, but never really explained what I mean. It was things like that, but he hasn't had any since he started working again," He said giving her an apologetic look and then looking back at the road.

Megan put a hand on his arm, "Are you okay? It can't be easy seeing a friend go through something like that."

"No, it isn't easy and I'm not okay," Wilson said as he continued driving.

She looked at him with sympathetic eyes, "James, just take me home and go back. I'm not going to be mad at you."

"No, he needs his space," he said with certainty.

"And what is that you need?" Megan asked watching him.

Wilson thought about it for a moment, "I need to talk some of this out and then I need to let some of it go."

"I think that could be arranged. Lets go over to my place," She said with as smile.

He thought about fighting her on it, but he really did need to talk this out, "Did I mention that you're the best girlfriend ever?"

"No, but remember that when you're trying to come up with things to do to forget about this thing with House," Megan said and winked at him.

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_Dear Gregory, December 13, 1962_

_Merry Christmas my sweet angel. I'm sorry to say I will not be able to spend Christmas with you this year because your Grandfather has been very ill, but don't worry all will be as God see's fit. I've heard that your mother is having a problems with you reading through the library books she's been getting for you too fast. I have a feeling this book will give her a momentary break. It's really long and has many interesting stories for you. I read this very same book when I was a little girl, but I was a good bit older than you before I could manage it and I must say it scared me but I think you'll enjoy it. You are such a strong and remarkable boy and I am always telling my friends about you. I don't think they completely believe me when I talk about you, because they can't imagine a boy of your age being that bright, but your mother is going to bring you up in a couple of months and then they will see what I mean. I can't wait to be able to wrap my arms around you and give you a proper hug. You behave your mother now and keep learning and I'll keep praying for time to pass quickly so that I might see you soon._

_Sending all my love and biggest dreams,_

_Oma_

House put the letter on top of the others he'd read and sighed deeply. It was hard to believe that he had someone that thought so much of him and seemed to love him so much when he rarely felt like anyone even liked him. He always thought his mother liked him, but there was a wall between them for so long. He could hardly ever remember spending time alone with her and when he did it was as if both of them didn't know how to act because they had both been puppets of John's for so long. Even though he'd never gotten these letters when they were written, they still somehow comforted him now and at the same time they cut him so deep.

Greg had been a bad boy who hadn't deserved the love of anyone because he wasn't perfect and his father had taught him that nothing but perfection was acceptable. He'd blamed himself and when he doubted that he reminded himself that TV was fake and families didn't really love each other like that, but his Oma proved that wrong. She'd love him unconditionally and now that his mother knew she had made it clear that she didn't think what John did was right and that she'd always loved him. He wished all this love had been there when he was a young boy.

He'd felt so alone, he'd imagined things talking to him. THINGS, not people or animals, because that was too dangerous. He wasn't allowed friends or pets... it was so deeply embedded in him that even his imagination was constrained by those guideline. He rubbed his neck as he felt emotions he'd tried so long to push back, his fingertips running under his shirt as he felt some of the scars on his back he felt a knot in his throat while he gritted his teeth and his lips trembled some. He jerked as his phone started ringing. He looked to see it was Cuddy and cursed as he tried to gain his composer some.

"You can tell Wilson I'm FINE, now leave me alone." House said and hung up the phone, but his phone started ringing in just a few second. House hated feeling vulnerable as he was trying to allow himself to feel things he'd pushed back for so long, but having a audience only made it worse. He picked up the phone. "You can tell Wilson if he want's to fucking talk to me he can call."

"Listen, Wilson didn't ask me to call you. I haven't seen or spoken to him since work, I was calling about tomorrows date." Cuddy said a little heatedly, since she didn't appreciate being hung up on.

House didn't know why part him felt disappointed that Wilson hadn't tried to see if he was okay. "You canceling?"

She opened her mouth and heard a sniffle on the phone and swallowed, "No, House... what happened with you and Wilson?"

He shook his head some, "See, I knew he told you to call."

Cuddy frowned, "Greg, I promise you he didn't but you sound... upset."

"It wasn't just Wilson and me, he invited his scrawny girlfriend over and everything was good until dinner. I had a episode, I had to be out of it for about an hour and a half. I don't even know what all I said during it but when I came out of it Wilson and his girlfriend both looked worried and shocked, so I relieved them of my company." House said in a hurry then took a deep breath, "But it isn't important, what did you call about?"

She hugged the blanket that was laying on her legs, "Oh House...what was the flashback about?"

"My dad, what else would it be about." He said bitterly and then sighed, "Listen, I'm not in a chatty mood so just get on with what you called for okay."

Cuddy wished she could help him. "I called because I was needing to know how long this date was suppose to be, you know, so I could give the babysitter at least and estimated time I'll be back."

House thought for a moment, "I would say eleven, midnight at the latest. Is that all?"

"Greg please talk to me about what happened and don't just try to ignore this." She said with concern.

He was quite for a minute or two, "Do you think he hated me because I wasn't his?"

She was shocked to be asked such a personal by him, a question that they both knew she couldn't really answer. "I don't know, but I think part of him loved you, I can't imagine someone raising a child and having no love for them." Cuddy said truthfully and her eyes moistened.

House thought about that, "I'm not ignoring this, it's pretty apparent that isn't working anymore. I'm reading the letters my Oma wrote me and trying to figure out and deal with my... you know."

"Emotions," She provided, "that's good, but I'm here House. Anytime you need to talk all you have to do is give me a call. I could even come over if you would like me too."

"No, I need to do this on my own, this is hard enough, but having someone be there or watch as I struggle would be worse." He said trying to explain.

"Okay, you know my number if you change you mind. Good luck," She said and hung up the phone.

As the phone went silent he expected to feel relieved, but he didn't, he felt hurt and suddenly a troubling thought hit him. He was alone, just like he was as a boy but this time it wasn't because he had to be, it was because he'd pushed people away... Wilson and Cuddy. Had he pushed them away because of what his father had taught him... was his father still in his head controlling him. He closed his eyes as he took some deep breaths and picked his phone back up, calling Cuddy.

It rang a moment and then Cuddy's voice came over, "Hello, Gre.. House."

He was afraid to hang up or speak, but he felt in his heart that talking was the right choice. "I wasn't allowed to have friends... or say anything about what he did. He killed Rocket because I told him things... things I wasn't allowed to talk about. He said friends were a sign of weakness in a person and that all they will do is bring you pain."

She held the phone close, "He can't hurt anyone anymore, he's dead."

House's voice rose as panic filled him, "No, he's not. He's still in my head and Lisa... I don't know how to get him out. I'm not even sure if it's possible to get rid of him completely."

"House, do you want me to come over, because I will if you want me too," Cuddy said scared by the emotion she heard in his voice.

"NO!" he yelled in a panic and was disappointed by his instinct to still push people away. He felt like a machine that had been put together wrong and didn't operate the way it should. He forced himself to gain control of his emotions and volume of his voice. "Um.. no, one step at a time. You can call me Greg, friends call each other by the first name usually." He said and then sighed, "He wasn't wrong, friends can bring you a lot of pain if your really care about them and they betray you or something happens to them."

"Yes, they can, but they can also pick you up when you've fallen and make you a stronger person. The most successful people tend to work in teams, and in those teams people have to trust one another and share their work with them. It's the same away from work, people tend to be happier if they have friends and share their life with them." She said hoping to get through to House that friends were more good then they were bad.

"Do you think I'm broken?" House asked already anticipating the answer.

Cuddy's head shook as her lips trembled, "No Greg, no... you're not broken as long as you can love, you might get bended or molded by others but you aren't broken. There was a time I thought you were, but I was naive." She said as she wiped at her eyes some.

He swallowed, "He told me that everything he did was for me, that he had to make me stronger and teach me how to survive. I believed him for a long time and then... he went too far and I hated him, but even it prepared me in some way. I'm not sure if he hated me or if he was loving me the only way he knew how. I don't know if he saw my father, who'd raped his wife, every time he looked at me or did he see his son, and I don't even know if any of it matters. What he did is the same, no matter the reason but I still want to know."

Cuddy wished she could give him those answers, "The only person who could have answered those questions is dead. The only other person who might know is you because the relationship you two shared was kept very... private."

"The doctors always thought he hated me," House said flatly.

She frowned, "They told you that?"

"No, but after the third time they'd seen me, I started getting the sympathetic eyes from them. I don't know why people think that would make someone feel better all it does is make you feel ashamed for being so pathetic. Then I'd hear them talking to the nurses or other staff about the boy who keeps getting beaten by his father and then he would tilt his head in my directions and the eyes of his audience would set on me. That was the only good thing about moving so much I got at least three times before I got those looks." He said sounding slightly distant as he thought about it.

Cuddy grimaced as it now seemed to make more sense why he hated sympathy so much. "What matters isn't what they think, it's what you think."

House sighed, "I don't know what to think."

"Come on Greg, you have to have some idea, you lived with the man for 16 years. Just try and really think..." She stopped as House cut in.

"You think I haven't thought about this?! This question has haunted me for years, if I say he hated me is it because I'm short sighted and can't see past the pain; and if I say he did it out of love is that because it's what I so desperately want it to be? No one wants to think that one of their parents hated them, not even me." He said truthfully.

Cuddy frowned, "Why didn't you ask him when he was alive?"

"I didn't want my mother to know, I'm not sure if I was more afraid of tearing her world apart or that she wouldn't be surprised at all. I never spent time with my father without her, not after I finally got out from under his roof and control." House said now wondering what John's answer would have been if he did ask and then he let out a heavy sigh. "This isn't really productive for either of us, you can't answer my questions and I can't really allow myself to explore my emotions with you listening."

"Greg it's okay, I'm not judging you and I wont tell anyone anything about this conversation. It's okay to let yourself feel things around me, I promise." She said as she felt a large knot in her throat.

He felt his eyes moisten some, he knew it was natural to allow someone to comfort you in emotional times, but he just... couldn't. He already felt ashamed too be having these emotions, "I'm sorry, but I can't."

Cuddy swallowed nodding her head as she wiped away a few tears, "Okay... the main thing is that your not just ignoring them, but actually trying to deal with them. I'm proud of you Greg, I know calling me back wasn't easy for you. Remember, if you ever need to talk or anything, just call me okay?"

House nodded as his head as he tried to remain in control of his feelings. "Yeah, I've got it. Lisa... thanks."

Cuddy smiled some, "You're welcome, anytime," a second later she heard him hang up and hoped with all her heart that this would help him.

11111111111

Wilson was now sitting on Megan's couch. "Here," she said handing him a glass and then pouring him a generous amount of red wine in it. "Sorry I don't have anything stronger but it really is a good Cabernet Sauvignon." She said and poured herself a glass too then sat down on the couch making sure to give him some space.

"Thank you, really you didn't have to go to the trouble," He said politely as he took a sip of the wine. "Mmm, it's very good."

"I'm glad you like it James, now talk to me," Megan said looking at him with concern.

Wilson swallowed, "I feel like I keep failing him. Tonight was suppose to be fun and low stress, but instead he had an episode and then freaked out, maybe I pushed him too hard but avoiding his issues isn't working either. I don't know what to do for him, and he didn't eat a bite. He's already underweight and in the last 24 hours he's barely eaten anything."

She put a hand on his arm, "Baby you can't hold yourself responsible for everything that happens to him. It's not your fault he didn't eat all day, I'm sure it can't be. He's just... going through a lot right now, with going back to work and the awkwardness between Cuddy and him along with the pressure of being a doctor with his kind of reputation."

"He's started working out too, which is causing an increase in pain and him to worry more about if he'll be able to walk again." He said adding it to the list.

"I know you want to help him James and you are, but you've got to let up on yourself. From what you've said it sounds like he's really trying and I know you are too, but this isn't an easy fix, it's just going to take time, there will be good weeks and bad weeks, but you'll both make it in the end." Megan said with a smile as she squeezed his hand.

Wilson let out a re-leaved sigh, she was right, it just took time. "You're pretty good at this kind of stuff, you ever think of becoming a psychologist?"

"Yeah, I thought about it until I had my Masters in it and then I went to work at an Institution with them and that's when I realized that I didn't want to be one. So I changed to advertising and I love it." She said with a smile

"As smart as you are beautiful," He said and ran a hand through her hair. "So, in your professional opinion you think I should try and let go of this? I need to just try my best and accept that is all I can really do." He said as his hand stopped on her neck rubbing it some.

Megan smiled, "Yes James, you've got to learn to accept that things don't always go down perfectly and that is okay."

"Hm... sounds simple enough but I think I might need a distraction to get my mind off of it you know." Wilson said as his other hand made it to her waist and he pulled her closer to him.

She smiled knowing exactly what he meant, "So... we going to the bedroom?"

He kissed her deeply slowly forcing her to lay down on the couch as he crawled on top of her, "Why would I go to the bedroom when you're right here." He said with a smile as his hand rubbed her thigh under her dress.

Megan smiled, "Adventurous today... I like it, but I'm telling you now if you rip this dress it's going to cost you two hundred." She let her hand slide to his belt, "Now, where were we?"

Wilson kissed her neck smiling as he heard her gasp while his hand traveled farther up her skirt and realized she wasn't wearing any panties. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" he whispered with heated breath against her ear.

She licked her lips as she finally had his pants unzipped and could already feel his cock had found it's way through the opening in his boxers. "Doesn't feel like you need any coaxing."

His smoldering brown eyes met her sensuous green eyes as he pulled her hands away holding them to the armrest of the couch and pressed his penis against her warm wet opening. He loved having her like this so vulnerable and him in complete control, it was very alluring. He moved his hips rubbing the tip of him up and down to get it wet and then without warning pushed himself almost all the way in her.

"Ohhhh," Megan choked out in surprise to his sudden entrance. She looked at him to see his lustful eyes on hers in a demanding way as he moved in and out of her and while she'd never experienced anything quite like this it was a turn on. He wasn't asking if things were okay or kissing her softly, he was taking her. "Oohhhhh," she moaned as she looked into his dark eyes as he thrust into her harshly which stimulated her clit and made her feel wanted.

Wilson grabbed her hair with the same hand that had a hold of her wrists and pulled it back with a tug as he saw her eyes closing and they opened on his. He pushed himself even harder against her so that now the slapping of his balls against her was covering some of the panting coming from his lovers lips. He could tell she was about to lose it and it filled him with pride as he suddenly stopped loving the confusion on her face then he slipped all the way out and thrust deep and hard in her making her arch under him and grinded himself against her.

"AAHhhhhh," She heaved as she came and gulped as she looked in his still dark eyes as he didn't stop his thrusting for her orgasm. The intensity of that stare was amazing.

He'd need to be in total control like this for so long and now that he had it he hated to let it go, but he could feel his balls tingling in the way that meant it was only a matter of time before his release. He was fucking her, for once not worrying about her wants but taking her the way he'd always wanted to take a woman, the way that felt good to him. He looked at her dilated eyes and red cheeks as he plowed himself deeper into her vagina and grunted as he bared his teeth while he came deep inside her.

Megan was shocked as she felt his cock pulse and could tell he was cumming inside her, it wasn't something they'd ever done before. She was birth control but still James was always so cautious he'd never actually finished inside her, not without a condom at least. It made her feel like she'd finally crossed some imaginary line with him and bit her lip as she looked in his eyes to see questioning in them. She'd expected this from him, even though he'd been so confident during the moment that he would wonder if she'd been okay with it. She looked at his wet skin from sweating and smiled, "I don't know exactly were that came from, but I like it."

Wilson smiled and leaned down kissing her softly, "You sure it was okay?"

"It was better than okay," She said kissing him back, "I love you James."

"I love you too," He said with a warm smile no longer worrying about anything as he looked at her.

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House swallowed as he picked up the last letter from his Oma and held it in his hand. He wasn't sure he wanted to read it because once he did he knew that there would be no more getting to know her. The letters felt like a conversation to him and he didn't want it to stop, but he also knew that it was time to deal with the things he'd ignored too long. He'd cursed and cried and laughed as he'd read the letters finally allowing himself to experience the emotions that they invoked.

_Dear Gregory, June 3, 1981_

_Happy Birthday Greg! I still remember the day you were born like it was yesterday, which at my age is quite remarkable. I was holding your mothers hand in that log cabin in Colorado. Your mother was scared and I was worried for her until I heard you cry. It was still the most beautiful noise I've ever heard and your mother looked at you and all those fears fell. You were a gift from God, Gregory and I believe he has blessed you with a gift that you are to share with the world someday._

_There are somethings that are going to be hard to read in this letter I'm afraid. I haven't had the opportunity to see you much in person over the last couple of years, so I'm going to tell you some things in this letter that I believe you should know. Your father isn't the man that raised you, he was in fact a very disturbed young man who took advantage of your mother against her will. His actions aren't your fault, you should not feel guilty or bad for his actions and although it is hard to do, you must not carry anger in your heart either my child. He died a long time ago, if that helps. Your mother and father had only been married a short time before this happened and she had to be hospitalized. I came down to take care of her but she wouldn't speak or eat for what seemed like forever, but then she got sick and they discovered you. You brought her back to live Gregory, she started eating and slowly started talking again, your father was conflicted but decided in the end that he'd rather raise a child that wasn't his then lose your mother. John has always adored your mother._

_It is important to me that you know that I do not tell you this to hurt you my love. I am only telling you because it is your story and I honestly think you deserve to know it. It isn't your fault that he use to get so angry at you darling, it was never your fault. Your father could never forgive what the man that made you did to your mother, he could never let go of his anger at him and guilt for not being able to save her. No one blamed him, he wasn't even in the same state when it happened but he blamed himself. I believe that some of what he did to you was done to make you stronger, stronger than he was so that you might never feel useless like he did when you mother was attacked. I also think he did some things to punish you for your fathers sins, and I think he did some out of love. Things in this world, as I'm sure you've learned by now are rarely black and white, people are more complicated than that._

_You may wonder why I am telling you this now, unfortunately the answer is sorrowful. I do not have much longer on this earth Greg. I remember when my mother died and she told me, you just know when your time is up beforehand. She'd called me to come down a week before it happened and I must say I was grateful for the little time I had with her before she passed. I'd always thought it was a coincidence but now I know it wasn't because I know somehow that I will die soon, but I'm ready to meet the Lord. I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. You have grown up into a very strong and respectable man, and even though I know you never cared for the Marines you still do your best. Your mother told me you plan on going to College when you finish out your contract and becoming a doctor. I'm glade to hear that being in the military hasn't changed your mind. I want to give you the means to go to the best schools in the world Gregory and in this box is just that. Your grandfather purchased these in the hope that they could help our children and grandchildren accomplish things bigger than we did and I believe you will my blue eyed baby boy. _

_As the years have passed me by I have picked up a few secrets that I want to share with you. The difference between confidence and arrogance is first being able to admit fault when it happens and then being able to learn from it. God gives us all our own moral compass the less you fight it the more happy of a life you will live. Let go of what you can not change. Guilt can destroy a person faster than any external force. There are many serpents along the path of life but those who offer true comradery will accept you as you are, they should never be envious or harmful and should celebrate in your accomplishments. Love is a four letter word, it shouldn't be thrown around without thought. The person you are meant to share your life with will be easy to share your life with, you don't have to force something that was meant to be. Gregory I hope this is some help to you. I love you Gregory and wish more than anything that you have a happy life and feel loved. Don't settle for less than what you deserve and remember that I am always with you Greg._

_Sending all my love and biggest dreams,_

_Oma_


	79. Chapter 79: He's Going the Distance

**I want to thank all the people out there reading this story and let them know that the reviews are appreciated and encourage. Those of you who might be shy to please review, all thoughts are welcome. With that said I hope you really like this chapter it's a bit more cheery than the last. The italics just below this are my responses to the reviews I had from the chapter before that don't have accounts or where not logged in.**

_Dear Freddy,_

_Worriers all seem to have this misconception that they are meant to be perfect and make things better, when things don't go that way they have a hard time handling it. I would know, I use to be bad about it myself, and still am at times. Wilson struggles with this need to make people happy and bounces between being frustrated or sympathetic towards House's inability to be just that. _

_I do believe that Megan truly is good for him. She pays attention to him and really cares about him and the things that matter most in his life. I do think that Megan is more observant than most and could probably hold her own in an argument with House, but I couldn't see it resulting in anything meaningful. Yes, House would probably respect her for holding her own, but she isn't a meaningful person in his life so he really wouldn't care what she thought._

_As for House needing to branch out of his comfort zone of only Wilson and Cuddy, then you're right and so far I see that there could be progress with O'Neil. You say that House needs to show Wilson and Cuddy that he's really trying to move forward, even if it's slowly... this is where I get confused? House is in THERAPY, something I don't think either character thought would ever happen, he's talking more personally with each of them, and the conversation he had with Cuddy in the last chapter I found to be very moving as he let himself be vulnerable to questions that have haunted him for years. Considering the short amount of time that has passed since his attack, I think he's been showing them a lot. Especially his session with Wilson, when he admitted he needed him in his life and admitted to being suicidal, which isn't easy to do. Any way this chapter has him progressing too, hope you like it and I'm interested on how you feel that House isn't showing that he's trying to move forward... maybe there is something missing, but I don't see what, not for only 7 weeks since the attack._

_Thanks,_

_Nicole_

_Dear Guest,_

_Glad you found the chapter to your liking and hope you enjoy the next one, which is right below this.__  
><em>

_Thanks,_

_Nicole_

House woke up early, his leg seemed to think it was necessary to remind him how hard he'd pushed it during the work out yesterday. "A fucking good morning to you too." He hissed through gritted teeth as he reached his bottle of pills and took one. He grabbed his phone next looking at the time and sighing when he saw it was only 4:28. It had been late when he'd finally gotten to sleep, Oma had given him a lot to think about, but at least he'd almost gotten four hours of sleep. He rolled to the side of the bed and quickly put some weight on the unwilling leg and fell into his wheelchair, and even thought it hurt like hell he smirked at his odd grace.

The shower had been a bit harder to get into but he managed and the hot steaming water did wonders for him. When he got out he had very ambitious and surprisingly optimistic idea. Thirty minutes later he was in the living room dressed for the day and rolled his wheelchair to where the back of the couch was to his right side. He used the armrests to pull himself up and as the pain crept into his bone of his left leg it still felt solid under him and for that he smiled putting his right hand on the back of the couch for support. He looked down at his legs a feet, lifting the left one, which complained from the muscle loss but as it moved and he quickly supported most of his right side with his arm, like he usually did with the cane. His arm didn't seem to have suffered to much but then again it was worked when he used he the wheelchair. He put his leg down, taking a step forward... a step on his own... and even though he'd never admit it, his eyes misted up some. It had been seven week since the attack, the seven longest weeks in his life. In that time his life had been turned around with threats of HIV, confinement to a wheelchair, heartbreak, losing his mind, his mothers and his admittance that he'd been abused, therapy, being attacked at work by other doctors and now O'Neil was here. It had seemed like a few lifetimes had passed from the day he'd been attacked. He slowly took another step feeling his pores tingle as a layer of sweat formed on him, but it was the good sweat. The kind of sweat that let you know you'd accomplished something worth being proud of.

An hour later, Wilson rolled over in the bed for the eight time in ten minutes and finally he woke up to hear music playing. It was just the piano being played beautifully and loud for... Wilson looked to see it was 6:49 in the morning. He groaned as he sat up at the edge of the bed. It was his day off and he was still up before seven. He slipped on his house shoes and quietly made his way to the restroom his eyes watching as House played with a gusto he hadn't seen in a while. He made use of the restroom and splashed some water on his face too, hoping it would wake him up some. When he walked out House looked over his should at him while playing.

"Good morning sunshine, it's about time you got your lazy ass out of the bed. It's a beautiful day!" House said with a genuine smile that only grew with Wilson's look of confusion, and on that note he decided to play The Bare Necessities and even started singing with it.

"Morning, you do know it's not even seven yet... right?" Wilson ask as he looked at House and the rest of the room like it was something from the Twilight Zone. He first thought that House must be recording this or it was some kind of joke but as time passed he slowly and hesitantly made his way to the kitchen. He stared making breakfast while singing long with House under his breath. He couldn't help wondering what had gotten into House but he hoped this mood would stick around for a while. It was a far cry better than the horrified and scared look he'd seen on House the night before when he'd rolled into his room and locked the rest of the world out, as usual. Wilson cooked of a good forty minutes, making a huge breakfast with pancakes, fried eggs, bacon, biscuits, and fresh cut fruit. He knew House hadn't eatten last night and barely ate at all that day, so he was going to do the best he could to get the man to eat as much food as he could hold today. When he was done he looked up to see House smiling as he played another gorgeous tune on the piano and he smiled with him, waiting for the song to end. "Hey Beethoven, breakfast is ready," he joked.

"I got something to show you first," House said rolling over to the couch.

Wilson didn't even look up as he took platter after platter to the table, "Not now, you eat and then I'll go and look at anything you want me too."

"Wilson quit being such a mother hen and look," House said without a hint of annoyance.

Wilson sighed as he decided ignoring was the best approach as he continued to fill the table with food and after it was all there along with two plates for them with coffee, milk and orange juice, he finally looked up and his heart felt like it had stopped. "What the hell are you doing?" Wilson screeched as he tried to run over to House as he saw the man standing and leaning forward to but his dismay House didn't fall, instead he took a step while sporting a smirk. Wilson stopped dead in his tracks, now he was blinking like an idiot as he watch House take another step while holding on to the back of the couch.

"What do you think?" House said smiling at Wilson's expression, "Pretty cool, huh?"

Wilson nodded and then shook his head, "When did you find out about this?"

"This morning," House said taking another step as sweat coated his skin some.

"You.. you tried this without anyone around? What if your bone hadn't been healed enough yet or what if you'd fallen?!" Wilson asked with concern.

House smiled some, "Hey, you're forgetting something, first of all that didn't happen and second... Wilson I can walk." He said with a smile and then looked at his hand and sighed, "Well as good as I could walk before this happened that is."

Wilson took a couple of steps closer noticing that House was moving very smoothly for his first day and he smiled with a lump in his throat. "It's very good, House. Alright, that's enough, you still need to eat while the food is hot."

House laughed, "Jesus Wilson, you're plan on inviting a dozen or so friends to help us eat all of that?"

Wilson shrugged as he looked at table and how it was covered with platters full of food, "Well if your going to be walking around you're going to need your strength."

House like how that sounded - 'walking around'. He got to his wheelchair but instead of sitting in it he held on to the back handles and slowly walked to the table.

Wilson laughed with joy, and looked down so House wouldn't be able to see the that his eyes had were misty. "Now you're just showing off."

"If this is considered showing off, then what the hell is it call when you're walking around here with out holding on to anything all the time?" House asked with out contempt.

Wilson ignored the question as he watched House sit down, "So, how bad is the pain?"

House shrugged as he started making his plate, "It's definitely not pleasant, but I only took two pills and it was... manageable... for a short amount of time." He said as he piled on four pancakes while chewing on his lip some. "I was thinking, maybe it's time I go to crutches. It would help me gain muscle on my legs and if I could do it without taking more than three pills then I wouldn't be doing any worse then I was right before the attack, on my bad days."

Wilson looked up from his already made plate, this was House's way of asking if he thought it was okay, which was a little surprising. He'd expected House to tell him that he already had one of his minions bring over some crutches, not to be asked if he was okay with it. "I don't know," he said and saw some disappointment on House's face which impressed him, he'd expected irritation or anger. "Maybe we should see how you do with crutches this weekend first. It's a long walk to your office from the car, wouldn't want to bite off more than you can chew at work."

House looked at Wilson with awe as his heart jumped with joy in his chest.

Wilson swallowed as House stared at him oddly. "If you think you're up for trying the crutches this weekend, that is. It's up to you." He said now wondering if he'd said something wrong.

"No, I'm ready. I think that sound great, it's just..." House tilted his head observing Wilson, "not what I expected you to say."

Wilson did know what his was happier about the fact that House had actually walked and seems to be feeling better than he had since everything happened or that he'd stumped the man. He smiled, "Maybe you don't me as good as you think you do." He said and started eating.

House stared at Wilson for a minute or two more, something was different. Wilson keeping his door locked at work wasn't normal and neither was Wilson not throwing a fit or lecturing him for hours at a time for wanting to go to crutches a good month before what was recommended. He smelled the warm food on his plate and decided he could think about this later. He was hungry and it would be a shame of him to let this good food go to waste.

"Well I guess that was acceptable," House said after polishing off his plate and leaning back in the chair.

"I'm glad you liked it House. I aim to please," Wilson said with smile as noticed that the mound on House's plate was completely gone. He started cleaning up and House watched him still intrigued by his earlier observations. "What's going on with you?" He asked.

Wilson looked at him and shrugged, "Nothing, why do you think somethings going on?"

House twisted his mouth some as he thought about everything and then frowned, "Oh shit... how could I not have seen this!" He exclaimed after five minutes.

"What?" Wilson asked as his heart raced some while cleaning the dishes.

"You're going to ask Morgan to marry you, that's the change," House said feeling pretty confident in the theory.

Wilson took a relieved breath, "Her name is Megan, and I know you think that I live to get married but trust me, I'm not looking to get engaged right now."

"You do live to get married, it's what you do," House said with confidence. "You not getting married is like a bird not flying."

"There are plenty of birds that can't fly," Wilson said looking back at House.

"There are 53 flightless birds exactly, but out of 10,000 birds species that inhabit the world that's merely .53% which makes them still very rare. I'm a bird that can't fly, a man who will never probably marry, but you... now your a humming bird, going quickly from one flower to the next." House said with a smile.

Wilson shook his head as he continued washing dishes, "Why do you know these thing?"

"It's called reading, and from it comes knowledge, it may seem scary at first but it's grows on you," House said mockingly. "So, when's the big day? You want those rings I offered up?"

Wilson turned around looking House in the eyes, "I'm not asking her to marry me."

House frowned as Wilson's face showed no deception in it, "Seriously? Then what is it?"

Wilson shook his head, "I don't know what you're talking about House," he said turning back to continue cleaning.

House decided he'd go over to the keyboard and play some, maybe it would come to him. He stood up cautiously and grabbed the chair to steady himself as he got a good hold on the handles of the wheelchair and slowly made his way to the keyboard. "Hey Wilson, can you stop being Aunt Bee for a second and get me a chair." He yelled.

Wilson turned around to see House walking toward the keyboard with the wheelchair, "What's wrong with the chair you've got in your hands?"

"The armrests don't fit under he keyboard and I hate this thing, hopefully I'll never have to sit in it again," House answered.

Wilson rolled his eyes as he got a stool that Amber used at her vanity for House to sit on. "There your majesty, I hope it's to your liking."

House smirked and sat down slowly, "Ah, yes, this is so much better, any requests."

Wilson thought about it for a moment, "There's a song that's been on the radio lately, it's good and for some reason it reminds me of you."

"Okay, how does it go?" House asked not know what Wilson really expected him to do with the little information.

"I'm sure you've heard it too, it's a man singing to someone, asking if they'll lay there and forget the world or something like that," Wilson said walking back to the kitchen.

"You mean Chasing Cars by the Snow Patrol?" House asked.

"No, it doesn't say anything about cars," Wilson said as he looked back at house.

House rolled his eyes and started playing and singing, "We'll do it all, everything, on our own."

Wilson listened as he continued, his deep voice singing with emotion and yet staying as smooth as butter. He sat down watching as House just seemed to become one with the music and the words. It was... amazing, something he'd never seen with anyone except House. He'd seen people play as well and sing as good, but never seen someone who actually became the music like he did. He couldn't help but be jealous, if he could sing and play like that he'd never have spent a decade going to school to be a doctor. "So, is there anything you're just really bad at?"

"Emotions," House said as looking at the keys and trying to decide on what to play next.

"No you're not," Wilson said watching him, "you don't like to show them, but you feel them the same as anyone and you are one of the best I've seen at reading people and their emotions. Seriously, there's just got to be something you suck at."

House rubbed his thigh some, it hurt but the main reason he was doing it now was nerves. "I'm terrible in a marathon." He joked.

"So there really isn't anything?" Wilson asked watching House.

"Of course there are, there are tons of things I suck at, but why do you care?" House said turning to face him.

Wilson thought about it for a moment, "I guess because I've never seen you not be good at something."

"Are you kidding me, I'm horrible at relationships. I'm an egotistical selfish lonely bastard, believe me Wilson, I'd trade with you in a heart beat, and not even for the right reasons. I'd trade just to be able to run again and play sports I had to give up. I'd trade so I'd be the good looking one that make girls trip over themselves looking at." House said wanting to end it lighter than it had started.

"I don't think they actually trip over themselves," Wilson said a humbled by House's nice words.

"No, of course not, it's impossible to trip over themselves, they just trip from not paying attention, it's the people behind them that trip on them," House said matter of factly.

"I do have it pretty good, don't I?" Wilson asked.

"Duh! You get to hang around with me all day, that right there says it all!" House said with a smirk.

"Oh yes, I can feel the envy from the eyes of all the employees at work when we're together. All of them just wishing they could be in my shoes." Wilson mocked

"You can feel it too, I just thought it was me." House said and with that he turned back toward the keyboard and started playing and Wilson finished cleaning the kitchen.

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Cuddy was anxious as she stood outside Wilson's door in her new strapless navy blue dress with a matching shrug. Her mind kept going back to the conversation they had the night before and how lost he'd seemed, something she'd never expected from him. She'd been wondering what had happened with House ever since she'd gotten off the phone with him, was he okay now?

"You look... incredible," Wilson said as he opened the door. "House is still getting ready. Come on in and have a seat."

Cuddy walked past him her stomach twisting with worry and nerves. "You have anything to drink?"

"Yeah, let me have a look," Wilson said as she sat down on the couch and he looked in the refrigerator. "I have orange juice, milk, Gatorade, Coke, and ..."

"I was meaning something a bit stronger, some wine or alcohol?" She said and swallowed.

Wilson was taken back, "Oh, well I got rid of all the alcohol when House moved in, but of course he managed to talk Cameron into making a run for him. All I've got it some Makers Mark and beer though."

"Whiskey's fine," Cuddy said politely.

Wilson poured her three fingers worth, wanting to give an generous pour but doubting she'd really like it, and put some ice in it as he handed it to her. "So, starting the party early are we?"

Cuddy drank a shot's worth out of the glass, surprised by how smooth it was and then looked at House's door. "I called him last night, at first he thought you'd asked me to call and check up on him but when he found out that wasn't the case, he told me he'd had an episode at the dinning table."

"Oh, I was planning on telling you but I was going to wait till Monday at work. He just withdrew for over an hour and when he came out of it he was stuttering apologies. As soon as he realized what happened he was out of there and boarded himself up in his room." Wilson said softly.

"Did you and him talk about it any?" She asked hoping they had.

"No, he didn't seem to worried about this morning," he said truthfully.

Cuddy frowned, "Wilson he was... definitely upset about it last night. He promptly got off the phone with me and then he called me back asking me to answer personal questions about his father. Things like, did his father love him or hate him and telling me about how his father never allowed him to have any kind of relationship with anyone else."

"Well look at it this way, maybe the talk actually did him some good and that's why he got over it so fast," Wilson said, not wanting to take away from House's big surprise.

"You don't understand Wilson, I heard him sniffle, not a sick sniffle either," She explained.

Wilson sighed a little sad he hadn't been the one there for House, "That's good right? It means he was actually allowing himself to feel things instead of avoiding emotions like he usually does."

Cuddy wasn't sure if it was good or not but before she got to say anything they heard some movement from House's room. Cuddy killed the rest of her drink and readied her self but what she saw as the door opened wasn't what she expected. House was STANDING and wearing a navy blue dress uniform and upon his chest there were literally tons of pins with a long silver plate that had 1st Lieutenant Gregory House engraved in it. The suit was made of a stiffer material apparently because even though it was big on him it didn't hang as if it was. If that wasn't enough she saw him take a step and for the first time noticed the hand crutches he was using to walk with, and walk he did. "You're... walking," she said rather dumbly.

"And you're dressed. See I can announce totally obvious things too," House said with a smirk as he walked over to her.

Cuddy looked up at him seeing a bead of sweat on his forehead, "You're sweating," she said standing up to look at him properly.

"You're talking," he mocked, "Come on, with that dress your lucky I'm not in cardiac arrest," He said loving the small smile that statement invoked.

"How'd you convince Wilson to let you go to crutches already?" She asked looking him in those beautiful blue eyes putting a gentle hand on his chest.

"That's my secret," he said softly leaning in to her ear, "but I'll trade you. You tell me how you got that bootylicious ass of yours in that skin tight dress and I'll let you in on it." House pulled back a little to see her smirking at him, "Come on Cuddles have some fun playing with me and don't leave out any of the details." He said wagging his eyebrows.

"Well I see that finally being fully erect again has brought back all that cockiness that was missing." Cuddy said with a grin.

"Don't act like you don't love it Cuddy, you know that it adds to my charm," he said with challenging eyes locked on hers.

She blushed a little, "Really? I was completely unaware of you having any charm."

House smiled mischievously, he knew he'd already won by the blush. "That's interesting considering the terms of this little date."

"What terms?" Wilson asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up, no one likes a pompous ass," Cuddy said to House coolly sitting down but her cheeks blushed a deeper shade of red.

"Sorry Jimmy, it's grown up talk, you wouldn't understand," House said sitting down and looking at Wilson. "Hey you mind getting the lady her prize?"

Wilson went to the kitchen and brought back a corsage made of a large Calla Lily and a bottle of Sangria and handed them to Cuddy blushing a little. "Here, do you need help or..."

"Wilson what did I say about keeping your hands off my date tonight," House joked and let out a chuckle as Wilson all but dropped the items in her lap.

"It's fine, I've got it Wilson, it's nice to know that there still are gentlemen left in this world." She said as her eyes went from Wilson to House.

House smirked, "If you think him trying to cop a feel is being a gentleman then I'm your kind of a man."

Cuddy shook her head as she read the bottle and started laughing, "Sangria, I'm guessing this isn't homemade?"

"Nope, it's the good stuff too, at least if the guy who sold it to me is to be trusted. I thought you might want to take it with you, the place he's taking us afterwords isn't known for their wine." House explained looking away a little while biting on his lip.

She could see the shyness he was trying to hide and smiled softly, "Greg, you don't need to make excuses for buying me something nice."

House's eyes shot to hers, "I don't know what your talking about. It wasn't even my idea, Wilson was the one who forced me to buy it for you." He said flatly.

"No I didn't, you made me go to five different stores looking for that stuff," Wilson said back.

Cuddy smiled broadly as she looked at House and he swallowed, "Thanks a lot Wilson, do you not know the meaning of bros before hoes?"

Wilson shrugged while Cuddy started getting the corsage out, and it was then that she notice that it wrapped at the bottom with navy blue ribbon and looked back at House with interest. "There is no way you could have known I'd be wearing this dress. I just bought it today. I even told you that I was going to wear red."

House smiled smugly, "Yet somehow... I did."

"But how?" She asked

"It's was really too easy. Wilson, you tell her," House said rubbing his thigh some as he leaned back.

Wilson looked at him dumbfounded and the gave Cuddy the same look, "Um, you knew... because... you have tabs on her credit card?" he ventured.

"What!?" Cuddy screeched standing up at she glared at House.

"Whoa whoa whoa... I don't have tabs on your credit cards." House said quickly to her and then sighed, "Fine, you want to know how I figured it out. Because you strive for perfection, your hair, your nails, your make-up, and the clothes you wear. It's the same reason I know if I get a glimpse at what color bra you're wearing for the day then I'm certain the panties will be the same color, probably even the same band; you like to match."

Cuddy sat back down stiffly, "You know I'm not the only one whose predictable, your pretty damn predictable yourself."

"I never said I wasn't," House said watching her closely.

She looked over at Wilson with a smirk, "Pay-up Wilson," she said and he handed her over two hundred dollars while looking a little sheepish.

"What was that for?" House asked with a frown.

"She bet me that you would be using crutches before two months past," Wilson said with a grimace.

House looked between the two of them wondering what other bets had been made, and then he looked at Wilson. "I asked you what you thought about me using crutches and you encouraged me, why would you do that?"

Wilson swallowed, he knew how House felt about pity or even sympathy. "I must of forgotten about the bet," he said trying to come off as casual.

House wasn't fooled though, "But you suddenly remember by her just saying pay-up?" He watched as Wilson avoided his eyes, "You're a liar, liar, pant's on fire."

"You were just so happy and hopeful," Wilson said watching as House's face seem stuck between a grimace and awkwardness. "You were playing the keyboard and singing... there are something that are just more important than money to me and I think you're ready for the crutches," he said, his warm brown eyes on that of his friend.

House felt his face start to get hot with embarrassment. He thought of Wilson as family so it was always understood that he loved the man like a brother, but hearing that Wilson thought his happiness was worth more than money moved him and because he'd been taught to never show emotions he was embarrassed as he looked away with touched eyes. "If you'd let me in on it I still could have used the crutches here and then we could have split the winnings. You're such pansy." He said softly without any bite.

Wilson knew it was as close as House could come to saying that what Wilson had done had meant a lot to him. "And you're still and jerk, what's new?" He said with a smile trying to help release the tension from the room.

"I'm your jerk," House clarified now meeting Wilson's eyes with a small smile.

"Oh lucky me," Wilson said rolling his eyes.

"Hey, you're forgetting for tonight you're my jerk, and speaking of tonight I think it's about time we get going." She said standing up now with the corsage pinned and ready to go.

Wilson got up opening the door and House got up slowly feeling more anxious than he cared to admit he stood looking at the door.

Cuddy stopped as she didn't hear his foot steps and walked to the side of him while Wilson walked to the other side as they watched House just stare at the door. Wilson looked to Cuddy with worry and then spoke, "House? Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah," House said still staring and then he blinked some.

"If you don't feel like going you don't have to, or if your legs are hurting too much you can use the wheelchair," Wilson said calmly.

"It's not that, it's just the idea of wearing this thing out." He said looking down at the uniform. "I've spent most of my life trying to just forget about this part of my life and keep it hidden, it's just... weird, that's all."


	80. Chapter 80: A Friendly Dinner

O'Neil stood up as he saw the group walking over to the table. He shook his head as he smiled at the sight of House walking on the crutches. "You trying to impress me or are you just as stubborn as you always were?"

"Why can't it be both," House said with a smirk as he stopped across the table from O'Neil.

Cuddy pulled out the chair for him since he couldn't with both hands on the crutches, "Don't worry yourself, he's just that stubborn. I promise you, he doesn't go out of his way to impress."

O'Neil looked over to Cuddy smiled, "You look absolutely beautiful and so does your corsage." She blushed some, looking down at the corsage as she got the message, that House does actually go out of his way to impress sometimes. "He's a bit old school in ways isn't he, and then completely nontraditional in other ways." O'Neil said casually.

"It's nice to see you again O'Neil" Wilson said putting his hand out.

O'Neil flexed his jaw as he looked at the hand, but gripped it anyway, "Hi Dr. Wilson, I'm so glad you were able to make it, it wouldn't be the same without you."

House noticed the flex in O'Neil's jaw and how tight he was gripping Wilson's hand and decided he would ask Wilson about it later.

"Well I'm always there for House, have been for the a dozen years," Wilson said with a smirk.

"That's a long time, funny he didn't tell you about me, but time isn't everything, is it. Most people think you need time to build trust and loyalty, but really all you need is honesty. Take Greg and me, we had to trust each other with our lives and we couldn't have done that with lies between us," O'Neil said with narrowed eyes as he let go of his death grip on Wilson's hand.

Wilson looked over to see House watching both of them with interest, "So this place any good, I've heard they make one hell of a steak here." He said as he sat down, not wanting to draw anymore of House's attention to him and O'Neil.

Cuddy smiled, "Yes, this place is great. I've eaten here quite a few times and never had anything that wasn't wonderful, especially the lamb."

O'Neil sat down too, "I'm glad to hear you say that. My wife told me about this place and said that when her sister use to live in New Jersey they always made it a point to eat here because it was the best food in the city."

"Hello, my name is Janice. I'll be your server today. Do you know what you would like to start off with to drink?" Asked the waitress with short dark hair.

"I'll have Rob Roy, top shelf please." O'Neil said

"Yes sir," Janice said then looked to Cuddy expectantly.

"A Bloody Mary for me, thank you" Cuddy said and looked to House.

"A Old Fashioned, made with a good honey whiskey, ma'am," House said as he felt Wilson's eyes on him.

Janice gave him a soft smile, blushing slightly while looking at his uniform, "I'll see to that sir."

Wilson didn't like House drinking especially with the pills he was on, but figured there was little he could do about it and gave the server a smile, "I'll just have a Tom Collins, thank you."

"I'll get that right out," The server said and left.

O'Neil gave House a broad smile, "Well it still appears that you look better in your uniform that I do." He said and glanced at the retreating form of the server.

"That never took much, you're one ugly SOB," House said with grin. "Never could understand how your daughters lucked out by getting their mothers looks."

Cuddy was about to get on to House when O'Neil started laughing, "You and me both. It's just proof that there is a God out there somewhere. Really though, the uniform still looks splendid on you Greg, never seen a man who wore it any better."

House shrugged, "Well when you're this good looking everything looks good on you," he joked.

"I haven't seen you in that since that honorary ceremony they held a month or two before you left." O'Neil said with a sad smile.

"I haven't worn it since then," House said truthfully. "I'm not a Marine anymore Tuck, I'm a doctor."

"A doctor who refuses to wear a doctors coat," O'Neil said with a raised eyebrow.

House nodded, "My whole life was in uniforms, being part of the many and expected to act like and say the same things as all the men before me. After med school, I figured I had earned the right to me."

Wilson and Cuddy both shared a glance at each other as they realized why House had refused to wear a coat even though they both had pushed the issue several different times.

"Greg, you were never one of the many. You're questioning eyes and smart mouth made sure of that, you were always on a level all your own." O'Neil smiled fondly at him, "From the first day I saw you, I knew you weren't like the rest of the men in your unit. You will never be part of the crowd Greg, and I mean that in the BEST possible way."

Cuddy looked to see House's not completely believing eyes. "House, even in med school you stood out. The teachers even had a nick name for you."

"They did," House said with a inquisitive grin, "and what would that be?"

"They called you The Referee, because you where always calling them out on any small error. The teachers would warn each other about you and they called your corrections House Calls. As many students as were in those classes, most of the teacher didn't even recognized one student from the other but they knew your name." Cuddy said with a smiling and shaking her head. "He's right, you were never part of the crowd. I honestly don't think you even could be, even if you wanted to be."

"I'm not sure if that was designed to be a complement or not, but I'm going to take it as one," House said with a smirk as he looked at Cuddy.

"House correcting his teachers, now that's something I would have loved to see," Wilson said, having felt very left out of the conversation of House's past.

Cuddy smiled, "Well it was a lot like him and me going at it now days."

House's smile grew as he looked at Cuddy and she grimaced as she realized what she'd done. "Oh, so what you're saying is that when I fight you about something I'm right, and you are just like those teachers... you feel threatened by my pure brilliance and therefore have to try to shoot me down to prove that you're in charge."

"No... no, that's not what I said. I said it was similar, not parallel. When I say no to one of your ideas it isn't because I'm looking out for the patients safety." Cuddy said and took a sip of her Bloody Mary that had seemed to just appear before her.

House's smug smile stayed in place, "Liar, liar, your party pants are on fire," he sang. "If that were true then the tests or treatments I want to do on my patients wouldn't ever see the inside of an operating room, but they do. Actually 95% of the time that you turn me down for not having enough medical evidence of something or because you think the treatment is 'too dangerous', you end up giving in and of those people 99.98% of them end up getting better because of the treatment or something I learned from it."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on him and smiled, "And do you know the statistics of your patients that have a near death experience while you're 'treating' them? Last time I did calculations it was 76%."

"Not really surprising since most of the patients I get have been sent to me because they are already near death and no one else can figure out what's wrong with them. Just admit it Cuddles, you find me and my massive head intimidating." House said as he leered at her.

Cuddy scoffed, "Greg, you have evoked several feelings from me, ranging anywhere from infatuation to pure unadulterated loathing at times, but I have never felt intimidated by you," she said putting a soft hand on his cheek and patting it.

"And why is that?" House said with a challenging stare.

Cuddy smiled big, "Because I'm the boss," she said wagging her eyebrows as she said it.

O'Neil laughed as House's face contorted in silent defeat. "Wow, she's got you there Greg. I think you're going to have to watch yourself around her, sounds like she already knows your number and then some."

"Like Patricia doesn't wear the pants in your house," House said looking back to O'Neil.

O'Neil smiled, "You know I wouldn't even try to deny that, but I think we were married a good ten years before she had me pegged as well as Lisa already seems to have you."

Wilson felt like he might as well not even be there and took a sip of his drink, "Well, the drinks are good." He said absently wondering if anyone would even notice he'd spoken.

"Don't encourage her Tuck, she's already cocky," House said with smirk and a glance at her.

"Good, you've always been the kind of man who needed a challenge," O'Neil said with a smile, "and it looks like you've finally found someone who can give you a run for your money."

House rolled his eyes, "She wishes, you should see her at a game of poker. She's so easy to read aren't you my little pumpkin... and she can't wait to give up her money in a good game of truth and dare."

"I'm not that easy to read, you should have seen how many people I beat at the last benefit. I won over a hundred and fifty thousand dollars for the hospital," Cuddy said with a smug smile of her own.

"Yeah and ten thousand of that was my money," Wilson chimed in, finally hoping to be included in the conversation.

"Anyone can take money off of Wilson, I would know, I do it everyday," House said truthfully. "Now what would be a challenge is to see you take on two decorated old Marines."

"Any day, anytime. You're not as good as you think you are," Cuddy said challenging.

House smiled and looked to Tuck with a gleam in his eye, "Come on Tuck, what do you say we let her in on a friendly game at The General Saloon tonight, it would be fun, don't you think."

Tuck smiled but looked unsure, "I wouldn't feel right about taking a woman's money."

"Oh, don't worry, I'll be taking all the money," House said with certainty.

Tuck looked to Cuddy, "Lisa, are you sure you want to do this. I don't want you to feel like you have to or anything."

Cuddy patted his hand, "It's fine Tuck, I would love too."

Janice was standing there waiting for the conversation to finish, "I was wondering if you would like to have some appetizers with your meal tonight or if you might be ready to order?" She asked.

O'Neil smiled, "Um lets get a dozen of the oyster, raw of course, and my wife would kill me if I didn't get an order of the brie fondu for the table."

"Those are excellent choices, sir, but might I suggest a small alteration to the fondu. We make it with a very nice Chardonnay, but we can make it with a extra dry Champagne which I must tell you complements the brie even better, especially with with the figs we have today." Janice said helpfully.

"Yes, that sounds perfect, we'll have it made with the Champagne. Thanks you so much for letting me know," O'Neil said.

"You are more than welcome Mr. O'Neil," She said and left to put in the order.

House smiled at O'Neil, "Now Tuck, you don't wont to go and throw all you're money away on the meal, I want you to still have some money to take off of you in that game of poker."

Tuck smiled, "Oh believe me, I still have plenty of money for the game, and you might not beat me. I've gotten quite a bit better since the last time we played."

"I would hope so, you were pretty pathetic as far as I remember," House said with a smile and drank on his cocktail some.

"I wasn't any more pathetic at playing poker than you were at running a tractor," O'Neil said with a glimmer in his eye.

House looked slightly annoyed, "I wasn't that bad."

"You couldn't even get it going, you kept stalling out then you somehow managed to mess up the motor on it which seemed impossible since you never made it completely out of the barn." O'Neil said shaking his head some.

"I was seventeen, and what did you expect? No one, who hasn't grown up on a farm, knows how to drive a tractor." House said with indignation.

"My girls could drive that tractor better than you could," O'Neil said loving that he getting to House some.

"They grew up on a farm," House said pointedly.

"I'm just saying," O'Neil said. "I don't get it, you're still one of the smartest men I've ever met and yet you can't drive a tractor, something I've known complete idiots to be able to do."

House rolled his eyes, "Okay, enough about the tractor... geez you don't ever let a man forget his short comings do you."

"Here," Janice said as she put the appetizers on the table and fresh bread. "Would you like to place your orders now or would you rather I come back?" She asked.

"I'm ready, are the rest of you ready?" O'Neil asked and received nods. "I'll have the Prime Rib, rare please, with the herb roasted red potatoes and creamed spinach, thank you." He said as she took the menu.

"I'll have the 8oz filet, cooked medium rare, with the roasted potatoes and asparagus," Cuddy said and handed her menu to Janice.

"Rack of Lamb, medium rare, with rice pilaf and grilled veggies," House said handing her the menu.

"I'll have the 12oz New York Strip, cooked medium, with creamed spinach and baked sweet potato," Wilson said and handed her the menu.

"I'll put in the order in. Can I get any of you another drink?" She asked pleasantly.

They all shook their heads, "No, I think we're doing great, thank you," House said with a smile.

"You're welcome... Lieutenant House," she said reading his name badge, "please forgive me, but I must say thank you to you and Mr. O'Neil for your time in the service. It truly is an honor to wait on you." She said with pink cheeks.

House's smile faded some, "Believe me, I'm sure you do much more good at your job then we ever did in the Marines, but on behalf of old Uncle Sam, thank you for your patriotism," he mocked at the end.

Janice looked a little confused but nodded, and left.

"She was just trying to be nice," O'Neil said to House.

"I know, that's why I was polite," House answered and grabbed an oyster up and ate it.

O'Neil sighed, "Greg, I know being in the Marines wasn't your choice or what you ever wanted but you shouldn't be ashamed of what you did. You kept your units safer than any other officer, you only killed those enemies that you had to, and the information that you got from your solo missions... it stopped small wars. You saved lives from being lost on both side, and you sacrificed your own flesh for that."

"I was told to kill enemies by superior officers, and I did. I killed men, who like me were just doing what they were told to do by their superior officers. It's stupid and idiotic, a endless cycle of death that never stops, today men are dying because other men are putting them out there, or becoming murders because a man with more badges then them are telling them to kill people. The only work that I did in my service time that I can take any pride in, is the men I actually saved because of my medical knowledge." House shook his head, "Tell me Tuck, what made us any better than the men we killed? We were on their land, in their country... for God sakes some of them weren't even men, they set whole town on fire. You're telling me that you didn't hear those children crying out as they burned, or that you never saw the aftermath of some of the women after being 'interigated' by our people, other American soldiers, their cloths shredded with bruises and blood covering their body. How can a man like you be okay with that?"

O'Neil shook his head, "I'm not okay with that, but most of the soldier we fought beside and for didn't do things like that. As far as the 'cycle' is concerned, you're right, it's sounds idiotic and stupid, but if every American soldier thought like that and left the military right now, every country out there would try to take us down. You left the Marines Greg, but war didn't stop because you did, man is stupid and territorial, so even if it's a stupid cycle its also a necessary cycle for this country to keep it's independence."

Cuddy could see House's jaw tighten as he eyes became transfixed on Tucker and decided he needed an interruption before this got to heated. "Well the waitress was right this is the best fondu I've ever had."

House looked to her and saw her eyes pleading for him not to go down the path he was on and then he looked at Tucker who looked a little shook up. He sighed, "No since arguing over the past, it's not like anything will change because of it, you believe what you believe and you've always known how I felt about, nothings changed there. We're here to have dinner." He said and stuck a piece of bread with the fondu fork then into the melted cheese and ate it, "Wow, this really is good." He said watching Tuck with searching eyes, wondering if he could let the difference on their believes go.

O'Neil nodded, "You're right, what matters is that after all this time I finally get to spent a little bit of time with you. I don't want to spend it fight with you, I much rather spend it laughing and catching up." He said with an apologetic smile and ate an oyster.

"Well not much has happened. I went to college, which is where I met this lovely woman, then when I got my degree I flip flopped between jobs until I dug my boot in at PPTH. I find a woman and we lived together for five year and then in infarction happened and she was my medical proxy, she made a call that I wasn't okay with. She left and I went to physical therapy, but never managed to get off the cane, later she came back asking me to take her husbands case because no one could figure out what was wrong with him. I took it and saved his life and they went back to there home with the picket white fence." House said and then looked in thought, "Oh, um I was shot in my office by a looney. I think that's pretty much it, don't you Wilson?" House said looking over a Wilson for the first time.

Wilson looked a little surprised to be included, "Um... yeah, that pretty much covers it."

"Oh... I also was kind of responsible of his last girlfriends untimely death, but that's a really long and depressing story that I'd rather not go into details about," House added

Tucked looked from House to Wilson who shook his head, "It wasn't his fault, it was just some sucky luck." Wilson said now wishing House had left him out of the conversation.

House watched as Tucker seemed to be evaluating Wilson and was confused by the look of disgust that Tucker didn't hide that well, that he decided to settle on. Then everyone stared eating at the appetizers.

"Well your wife really knows how to chose a good restaurant. If the appetizers are that good I can't wait to see how the entrees are." Wilson said with a smile and warm eyes.

O'Neil looked at Wilson with a stiff jaw, "Thank you Dr. Wilson."

"So Mr. O'Neil, I was hoping you might have stories to share about dear old Greg. The more embarrassing the better." Cuddy said with a wicked smile.

O'Neil chuckled some, "Well there were some pretty interesting situations he got himself into, like his first hand to hand combat fight. I was his commanding office for basic training and one of the first things we teach is hand to hand combat, but I was afraid to put him up against any of the men... but we had one woman who was in the unit, so that's who I put Greg up against."

"Let me guess, the woman kicked his scrawny butt," Cuddy said with a satisfying grin and House narrowed his eye on her.

"No, the fight was suppose to last no longer than five minutes, but Greg over here refused to hit the girl," Tuck said smiling, "and the girl couldn't catch Greg. I swear it was like he was gymnast the way he would run and jump and roll. Anyways so this girl is trying her best to catch him to prove she belonged and he just avoids her for the whole time and when the time is up I refused to let them off the mat until one of them is laid out. I assumed that it would be over in another ten minutes tops, but this goes on for over an hour when the girl finally falls down out of exhaustion."

"What did you expect, I might not be a preacher but I still had some limits I wouldn't cross, and for the record she hated me because of that. She's the one that came up with the name 'the dancing stick' for me." House said with a frown.

"How sweet, you couldn't hit a girl," Cuddy said looking at House with a smile that let him know she would never forget the story.

Wilson smirked some, "The Dancing Stick... it does have a certain ring to it. Even now it could fit, you're always twirling your cane and making it do funny little things." He said with a smile.

"Tell my fellows and there will consequences," House said with a pointed finger.

"Speaking of consequences, remember when the unit got you drunk?" O'Neil said with mischievous grin.

"No... don't tell them about that," House said seriously.

"Oh come on, it's a classic," Tucker said and House gave a defeated sigh as he knew there was noway he was going talk Tuck out of it. "Alright, so Greg was this scrawny kid that no one expected to make it through boot camp, but he did and not only that he was the top soldier at pretty much every training. So the other guy in his unit were always giving him hell and of course he would smart of to them and such." He said smiling as he tried not to laugh, "Well one day I gave him a pat on the back for a job well done and the other men in the unit convinced him that it was tradition for them to take him out and get him drunk for his first pat on the back. Of course you must remember how small he was and that he was only sixteen and never really had much alcohol, so they got him completely hammered and he passed out. Then he wakes up... I swear to God, as naked as he came into this world in the middle of the barracks leaned back against the flag pole, and his wrists were tied behind his back with the flag pole in between. I remember when I found him it took every bit of self control not to go into a laughing fit, I untied him and chewed him out for going out and getting drunk..."

"And then you worked the crap out of me until sunrise the next morning and told me never to get drunk again while I was in your unit and if I did you'd make me do all my duties naked for the whole day." House finished, shaking his head. "And I never did while you were my commanding officer."

"Please tell me there are pictures of this momentous occasion, so I can get one to use for blackmail the next time he refuses to do part of his job at the hospital." Cuddy begged.

"You don't have to lie Lisa, we all know that you just want a naked picture of me to ogle when I'm not around and you can't have the real thing," House said wagging his eye brows.

Wilson mocked confusion, "Funny, because I thought it was you that was always trying to find a naked picture of her to get you through the long nights?"

"See, this is why I don't tell you things, you can't keep a secret," House said while rolling his eyes.

There was a cough behind House and he turned around to see Janice looking a little embarrassed and then realized she probably heard most of the conversation. "You're rack of lamb, sir," she said politely and put the plate in front of him, to which House nodded while avoiding her eyes. She served the rest of the table their dinner and then was off, after clearing the table of the plates from the appetizers.

O'Neil smiled at House, "So I guess you still clam up when you get embarrassed."

House rolled his eyes, "I wasn't embarrassed," he said and looked back into Tucker's knowing eyes, "Fine, but I was embarrassed for all of you, not me." House said and took a bit of his lamb. Everyone at the table was giving him the same bullshit look and his cheeks blushed some. "I know I'm pretty and all, but you're food is getting cold." He said flatly, while still chewing on his bite.

They ate for a while, everyone was immersed in their meal and how good it was. Cuddy decided to take a little break half way through her filet and looked up to see O'Neil shaking his head with a fond smile on his face as he watch House eat. As always House was using his best manners, like eating with his hands every so often, chewing with his mouth open, and stuffing another bite in his mouth before finishing the one he was still working on. "Has he always had these kind of manners at the table?" Cuddy said with a warm smile.

"Only when he's comfortable with the people around him," O'Neil said back. "If he's uncomfortable he eats with better manners but his intake isn't so good. I was always amazed at how much he can eat and yet he's never had an ounce of fat on him, I wish I could say the same for myself. My girls use to make pig noises at the table when he ate." He said with a charming smile.

"I still think they did that because pigs are the smartest farm animal in the world, they were just trying to complement my keen mind." House said while still chewing his food.

"I'm sure," Cuddy said sarcastically to House then looked back to O'Neil. "You wouldn't happen to have any tips for keeping him in line at work would you. He has a tendency to not follow rules."

"No," Tucker said, "when he was in the Marines he rarely broke rules. He was kind of thought of as a brown-noser because it didn't matter what you commanded him to do, he'd do it. I once told him to eat dirt, which is a term we use for get down on the ground and he literally started eating dirt. As soon as I realized how literal he was I made sure I was clear about what him to do, but some of the other commanding officers messed with him because of it. They would have him do things like wash the complete outside of the barrack building with a toothbrush, or that they commanded him to sing the national anthem from sundown to sunup." He said with a sigh.

House looked up at him, "It wasn't like I had much of a choice, they were my commanding officers."

"You could have said no," O'Neil said and watched as House featured hardened some as he looked away. "Are maybe you couldn't," he said with saddened eyes.

Cuddy scoffed, "Why couldn't he then, he sure doesn't have a problem with it now." She said and then noticed the looks between the two men. House's daring stare and O'Neil's knowing eyes. "Never mind," she said and went back to her meal.

"Why are you backing up on you're question? You think I can't handle it?" House asked her with the same challenging look and she frowned. "It's fine." House said looking at Tuck and Wilson who were both watching him with worry. "No wasn't a word that my dad tolerated and I was taught at an early age to never say it, by whatever means he found necessary. There... see, it's not a big deal, so quit acting like you have to tip toe around me." He said flatly

Wilson watched as Cuddy and Tucker were giving House sympathetic looks which he knew House hated. So he decided to throw out a life jacket, "So House, did I tell you about my latest patient," he said capturing House's attention.

House and Wilson discussed the patient while Tucker and Cuddy talked some over there meal. When they were all done Wilson excused himself and left to go to the concert his patient was in with Megan, while the rest of them got ready to go to The General's Saloon.


	81. Chapter 81: The General's Saloon

**Yeah! A new chapter finally! Sorry about the delay everyone, the chapters been finished for a while but one of the beta readers I had just stopped getting in contact with me and I finally got another beta reader to get it edited for me. Thanks you BakerStreet Blues from me and everyone else that enjoys reading this story. Hope it was worth the wait for you guys and I promise the next chapter wont take nearly as long to get up. :) Nicole**

_Dear Freddy,_

_Yes Wilson is in a odd position here with Tucker, and it's funny that Tucker is accusing Wilson of crossing lines when he had to cross lines and use information that he was able to obtain from the military in a unethical way. Most people that know House tend to cross boundaries from time to time which is probably because House isn't afraid to cross most boundaries. It really does make it hard to tell what's too much and what is allowed, in almost all of House's relationships. __Thank for the review, Nicole_

_Dear Guest,_

_Interesting theory about Tucker, who knows, maybe he isn't as nice as he seems. It's nice having you reading and a different perspective. I'm wondering what you will think about Tucker after this chapter. Thank you for the review, Nicole_

House rode with Cuddy and they followed Tucker. She noticed the grimaces as he got in the car and got settled in the seat but didn't say anything, but when she saw him take the pill out of the corner of her eye she sighed, "We could get the wheelchair if you need it House. You've done exceptional with the crutches but there is no reason to over due it and have to spend all day tomorrow making up for it."

"I told you, you can call me Greg, and I'll be fine. I just don't want him to see me taking the medication, that's all," he said as he watched the car in front of them.

"He wouldn't see you any different if he did see you take it. O'Neil seems like a really nice guy and he thinks the world of you," she said with a smile as she glanced at him.

House rubbed his leg some, "And I would like to keep it that way, I've already disappointed so many people in my life, but I don't want to screw this up."

Cuddy frowned as she kept her eyes on the road, "You haven't disappointed anyone anymore than everyone's let you down at different times. It's like me, I'm not really disappointed in you, I just miss us... you know."

House leaned over and kissed her naked shoulder softly, "Yeah, I know. I just... I like the way he see's me and I don't ever want it to change."

"It wont because you're an amazing man. You're strong and you have integrity, which is hard to find in a man now days," she said as she put her right hand on top of his as she drove.

House turned his hand up so that he could hold her and kissed the top of it, "I'm also an idiot. I should have asked you out years ago, but I didn't. You're the one that's amazing," he said softly.

Cuddy smiled some and gave his hand a squeeze, "About last night..."

"I'm sorry if I disturbed you or if I inter..." He started but she interrupted him back.

"Don't apologize, I was happy to be able to be there for you. I just wanted to let you know that anytime you ever need to talk, I'm there for you Greg," she said and glance over at him.

House's face was full of regret, "I wish I had called you back when we were in college. We could have had a whole life together by now. You know being nice to me isn't making it any easier for me keep this platonic."

Cuddy grinned evilly, "Darn, I'd hate to make it hard... on you," she added with a bigger grin.

"I bet you would," he said shy smile of his own as he noticed that O'Neil was parking. "Damn, we wasted all the time talking when we could have been making out."

Cuddy parked and then ran her hand down his inner thigh, "Oh there will be plenty of time for that later."

House swallowed as he was reminded of what he promised her in exchange for the date. He already had a plan of how to give her what she requested without compromising her, but it was still going to be hard on his willpower to not do more than he'd planned. "You'll get yours," he said as he looked over at her.

"Oh, I know I will," Cuddy said and with that she got out of the car. House was right behind her with his crutches.

"Well, come on," O'Neil said with a smile as he walked toward the building.

"He's way to excited about this," House said flatly as he followed Tucker to the building both of them in uniform and Cuddy in her beautiful matching dress.

Tucker stopped by the door and then looked to House, "So you still remember how to do this?" he asked with a glint in his eye.

House rolled his eyes, "I can't believe they still do it this way, and of course I remember how to do this, it's just like having sex, you never forget... although between the two.."

Cuddy gave him a playful slap, "Quit talking, it's cold out here. Just do whatever it is you need to do to get in already."

House lean on the crutch on his right side and handed his left crutch to Cuddy and did a weird knock with some pounding on the door and it opened with a man on the other side who looked him and the others over. He was about to ask the standard questions when he read House's name tag and shook his head. "Get out before I call security."

Tucker looked to House who looked irritated, "What the hell is your problem? Just ask the stupid fucking questions and let us in." House said as he got the other crutch in his hand and stood up straighter.

"My problem is you. I don't know who the hell told you to pick that name to fake but they're not your friend. First Lieutenant Gregory House is a ghost, no one's seen him since he got out, I'll give you props for finding an authentic uniform to the time he was in and it even looks like you got one of every pin he had, but you're not the first one to come here and try to impersonate him. Every couple of months I get some clown who comes here trying to get in by using a legions name. Now, get off my parking lot old man before I have you removed." The man at the door said as he gave House a challenging look.

"Son, this is the real First Lieutenant Gregory House. I would know he was in my boot camp and my basic training unit. If I were you I'd stop before you dig yourself in too deep." O'Neil said as he looked at House to see he wasn't amused in the least by the man.

The man looked at Tucker then House, "You just don't know when to give up do you, but I'm bored with the game. I'm giving you one more warning get out of here or you'll be dealt with," he said and pushed House's shoulder.

House had noticed how the pants hung off of the man left leg, too full and round on the top and too lacking at the bottom and used his crutch to hit his left behind the 'knee cap' of the man and watched with cold eyes as the man fell and the pant leg rose to show the metal of the prosthetic limb. He had his crutch raised above the man and was about to bring it down on his chest when Tucker stepped in and stopped him. "No Greg, he's just a kid. Just give me your drivers license and I'll settle this."

"No I'm going to get up and kick his ass, that's what's going to happen," said the man trying to get up but Tucker put a hand on his shoulder keeping him down.

"Boy, you don't want to do that. Just calm down and look. Here's my military ID. If you know anything about the Legions of Gregory House then you know he did boot camp and basics in Savannah, Alabama at the Airforce / Marine base because that's were his father was training pilots at the time." O'Neil said calmly and notice the man was actually looking at it. "Now I'm sure you have people come up here and pretend to be the Gregory House, but how many bring old men who have new military ID's from the exact base that he started on. Now look at his drivers license, do you see anything that doesn't look kosher about it?" Tuck said as he stood back up and removed his hand from the man's shoulder.

The man swallowed as he realized that O'Neil had probably saved him from one hell of beating and handed the ID's back. "Shit... you're really him, aren't you?" He said as his voice shook some.

"Quit babbling and open up the fucking door, the lady is cold," House barked.

The man scrabbled to his feet and unlocked the door then held it open for them. The bartender looked over at him and gave a concerned look as he could see the scratches on the mans elbow.

"Hey!" he yelled toward House's group but before he could say anything else the man from the door intervened.

"No, Chris, it's fine," he said back and walked over the man and whispered as the group continued in.

Cuddy noticed that House's body hadn't relaxed any since the man at the door questioned him, "What where you going to do if O'Neil hadn't stepped in?" She whispered.

"I would have put my crutch in his chest and told him that next time he touches me he'd be the one that got dealt with, but I knew Tuck would step in." House said flatly.

"Then why do you look stiff as a board?" She asked.

He sighed, "Because they knew my name, now we're going to be the entertainment for the night. I can hear them watching us already."

"You're paranoid, they aren't..," Cuddy stopped mid-sentence as she looked back and in fact saw every pair of eyes on Greg.

House sat down at a round table and rolled his eyes as he saw everyone sitting at the bar watching him.

"You had to have expected this, you're name was always known," O'Neil said he could see House's irritation with the attention.

"It was... I thought by now it would be forgotten," House said trying his best to ignore the crowd, he looked around and noticed that it looked about like all the military only bars he'd been to. It had dark wood tables, furniture and floors with plenty of toys to keep men entertained, like two pool tables, six dart boards, and a beautiful oak finished Bösendorfer Piano. House got up and walked up to the fine instrument and a small smile crept on his lips when he realized it had the 97 keys instead of the standard 88. He looked back at Tucker with narrowed eyes still smiling some, "You knew about this, didn't you."

O'Neil smiled, "Only bar in town that had a 97 key piano, I figured if there was that nice of a piano close by, you might be more willing to play without me bribing you."

House sat down at the piano and played a couple of notes from a song he wrote ages ago and smiled and the fullness the notes carried with from the magnificent piano. "Okay... what do you want to hear?"

"Well we are in a military bar, it would be wrong not to play The Marines Hymn," Tucker said with a smile.

"Oh.. come on, you really want to hear THAT, you hear it all the time," House said with boredom.

O'Neil smile, "You asked."

"Fine," House said about to start when a nervous waitress walked up to him.

"Can.. can I get you something to drink," she asked stumbling over her words as she looked at the man that so many others had spoken of.

House thought about messing with her but decided not to since she already looked a little sick from her nerves as her hand shook some. "A scotch to start with and put their drinks on my tab."

"Oh, it's no charge for you or your group Lieutenant House Sir, it's just and honor to have you here sir," she said quickly.

House gritted his teeth some, he's never like to be called sir or referred to by his military rank since he got out of the corps. "What's your name?"

Her eyes widened, "Um... it Helen, sir," she said wondering what she had done wrong so early on.

House tried to give her a friendly smile that came off more awkward than anything, "Helen, just call me House okay, no need for the sir or military rank and if you could calm down that would be good. I'm not paid to kill people anymore, so you don't have to look quite so scared." He explained.

Helen was surprised, she'd expected to be torn apart for something and instead he'd been nice, "Yes sir... I mean House, thank you. Is there anything else I can get for you besides the scotch of course."

"If you get those people at the bar to quit staring at me that would be really appreciated," He said as his eyes scanned to see it was no longer just the people at the bar watching him with interest.

"I'll see what I can do," Helen said and went to see what Tucker and Cuddy wanted.

House waited until he'd seen Tucker finish ordering and gestured with a tilt of his head for Tucker to join him at the piano.

Tucker got up and walked over, "What is it, you can't remember how it starts?"

"No just figured you'd sing it with me, it's not really a solo piece," House said.

"I'd love to, although, some might find it a bit cruel to object all these people to my singing," O'Neil said as he looked around to look at the other people.

House smirked, "Oh I see how it is, you were fine sticking me up here for everyone to stare at, but it's not so fun when it's you," he said.

"Just start playing Greg, I'll sing with you even if I do shatter a couple of ear drums," Tucker said and put a hand on his shoulder. House played the song and both of them sang, even some of the other patrons joined in from their seats and when it was done there was a lot of clapping and Tucker patted House on the back. "See that was kind of fun, right?"

House shrugged even though there was a glint in his eye, "And surprisingly no one died, miracles happen everyday, I guess."

"Hey I warned you," O'Neil said and noticed that Greg didn't make any attempt to move from the piano. "So what's next?"

House let his fingers slide over the keys, "A little Stairway to Heaven sound good?"

"Sounds perfect when you play it," Tucker said happy to see House having a good time and glad he made the calls to find a good piano for him to play on.

House took a good sip off the drink that Helen must have brought while he was playing then played one of his most beloved Led Zeppelin songs. When he was done everyone in the bar was clapping. He looked over to see Tucker sitting down and that Cuddy was now standing to his side then he took a long sip of his drink.

"You look more relaxed than you did when you walked it," She said with a knowing smile as she ran a hand through his hair.

"You'll use any excuse to get your hands on me won't you?" He said with a smug smirk and then gave her a pat on her butt. Cuddy gave him a daring look and House gave her his most charming smile, "You wouldn't hit a cripple right?"

Cuddy looked around and then back at him, "Not with witnesses around, but that little stunt is going to cost you a kiss, and you better make it good." She said with a grin of her own.

House stood up with out his crutches using the piano to lean on with his left hand and pulled her to him, his eyes conveying so much and then kissed her, enjoying towering over her again. When he was done they both only cared about that moment, "I don't think you really get the point of punishment, because that only makes me want to slap your ass harder so I'll have another excuse to kiss you again."

Cuddy swallowed as she looked at his lips, "You don't need an excuse to kiss me Greg."

House wanted to do so much more than kiss her but knew that he couldn't for more reasons than the obvious, "You want me to play something for you?" He asked as he let his hand rub her arm and gave her a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Sure, how about Baby It's Cold Outside," she and then gave his butt a squeeze.

House narrowed his eyes on her playfully, "I'm just a piece of meat to you, aren't I? Also you're going to have to sing with me on this, I don't think Tuck can keep up with this one."

"Oh don't worry, I can keep up with you," Cuddy said with an evil grin and watched as he sat down and started playing her song and laughed as he started singing the females vocal, and then looked to her when the male vocals came up. They sung together both having a great time and her enjoying that he could see the irony and humor in the fact that she's been going after him for the last couple of months and he'd been playing hard to get. When he was done Cuddy was sitting beside him and leaned on him some, "You're really a sweet guy, you just have all these guys fooled," she said as she looked around the room at the men.

House thought if anyone in the room was fooled by him it was probably her. She thought more of him then there really was, he wasn't a nice or sweet person and whether she could accept it or not, he'd killed people during his time in the Marine Corps, so he went for a classic, just ignore what she said. "Do you know what's going on between Wilson and Tucker?" House asked.

Cuddy shook her head, "No, why do you think there is something going on between them?" She asked as she looked at Tucker with interest.

"I don't think something is going on I know it is, the way O'Neil was talking to Wilson and referring to honesty being the key to a trusting friendship. Yesterday I felt like Wilson was hiding something in his office from me, he had it locked." He said looking at her.

She swallowed as she knew for a fact that Wilson was trying to hide something from House. "Oh my God, he locked his door! I'm going to have to do a full investigation on him, I mean who does he think he is locking doors so things won't get stolen from his office." Cuddy said sarcastically.

"He had it locked when he was in there to keep me out," House said truthfully and could swear he saw some guilt in her eyes. "What's going on Lisa?"

Cuddy shook her head, "I don't know, maybe... maybe he just wanted to get a nap in or some privacy." She said as she only felt worse about covering up for Wilson.

"Then why do you look so guilty?" He asked with guarded eyes.

"Because I feel guilty for so much. I should have known to have a pain test done on you as soon as the vicoden doses started increasing, but it was easier on me to blame it on you. And I shouldn't have done the surgery without your consent. I will never be able to show you how sorry I am for all the pain I've put you through." She said and then gave him a kiss on the cheek, "You deserve so much better," she whispered in his ear, and it was the most honest thing she'd said all night.

House swallowed, "I've told you, I don't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself."

Cuddy didn't know what she should say back but was luckily saved by a young man dressed in his dress blues.

"First Lieutenent House, it is an honor to meet you. My father was in your special ops unit and always said you were the best leader he ever had the pleasure of working with," The young man said and saluted House.

House nodded uncomfortably and looked at the boys tag which read Corporal James Dick. He looked up to see familiar green eyes, "Are you Will Dick's boy?"

"Yes Sir," James said.

"So, how's he doing?" House asked with interest.

James hesitated for a second, "He died sir, it's been about ten years ago now."

House sighed and people wondered why he couldn't wait to get out. "Sorry to here that, I think I might have something for you though." House said as he slid his hand in the pocket and pulled out a handful of challenging coins. He looked through them and picked out one, "You're father and I were both given these coins in honor of taking over a entire camp without losing one man, but he gave his to me saying that it was my plan that made it possible." House said looking at the coin and then at the young man. "I told him that plans are just thoughts until people make them happen, and that without him the plan couldn't have worked, but he still refused to take the coin. Your father earned this along my side and you should have it." House said and flipped it to James who caught it and stared at it in the palm of his hand.

"Thank you Sir, you have no idea what this means to me Sir. This will be treasured for the entirety of my life," James said as his hand made a fist around the coin and walked away.

Cuddy gave his arm a gentle squeeze, "That was nice of you," she said looking at the young man.

"It didn't belong to me," he said flatly finishing off his drink and started playing Piano Man. When he was done Cuddy was back at the table and a few soldiers hollered out some songs to be played which House did because he was really enjoying being behind a real piano again. He played Old Time Rock and Roll, Blue Moon, Turn the Page and ended with Hit the Road Jack, which most of the bar was singing with him in the chorus. When he joined the table he was very content, "Now that's a nice piano, makes me miss mine." He said as he looked at back at it.

"You have a piano?" O'Neil said with interest.

"A Yamaha Baby Grand that sits in the living room. Yamaha is an okay brand and all but its not a Bösendorfer even though Yamaha now makes them, but the quality that is put into making a Bösendorfer is so much better. The tones of the notes are richer and more profound than what you can get out of any old piano." House said looking at the piano with longing eyes.

Tucker smiled, "Sounds like you're in love," he said jokingly.

House really wasn't even listening, "Maybe I should buy a new piano, I've had that one since I graduated with my MD. I found it pretty cheap and I'd always wanted one of my own, but in school it just wasn't reasonable with the limited space. I never really thought about getting another one because then what would I do with the one I got, but I could just have two, nothing wrong with having two pianos, I have five guitars."

Cuddy smiled and rolled her eyes some at how focused he could get about something that everything else just seemed to disappear to him. "You boy's still up for some poker?" she asked.

House looked over at her, "What?"

"Poker, you bragged about how you planned on taking all our money at the restaurant," she reminded him glad he'd seemed to break the spell he was under with the piano.

"It'd probably be wise to forget about that since we have so many eyes on us," Tucker said glancing at the soldiers who were still watching them. "I vote we just have some good conversation."

Cuddy nodded, "That sounds good to me."

House looked from one to the other, "Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be more like an interrogation and less like a friendly chit chat."

O'Neil smiled, "You know you're allowed to start a conversation every couple of decades."

"Great, so what's up with you and Wilson?" House asked bluntly with innocent eyes.

Tucker made sure to keep eye contact with House, "I don't trust him."

House felt conflicted he trusted O'Neil and they had a good history, but Wilson had been there for him so long and he trusted Wilson too. "I don't remember anyone asking you to trust him. I don't think your problem is with you trusting him, I think you have a problem with me trusting him."

O'Neil frowned, "I don't trust him with you, I care about you like you were my own flesh and I find him to be over stepping his boundaries with you and I don't believe his motives are as pure as he acts."

Cuddy paled some as she looked at Tucker and wondered how he could have figured it out, but it sounded like he knew about the files.

House looked confused, "What do you mean by overstepping boundaries and impure motives? You think he's gay for me or something, because he's not. He's been married three times and it isn't your call who I'm friends with. Wilson is a good friend he's been there for me when everyone else walked away."

"That's because you let him be. If you wouldn't have cut me off all those years ago, I could have been there for you. Hell, my whole family would have been there for you, and THAT hasn't changed." O'Neil said curtly.

"What did he do that made you not trust him?" House asked heatedly.

O'Neil could see the anger and stubbornness in Houses face and knew that if he answered not only would Greg not believe him, but he might very well push him out of his life forever. "There is no point in me answering that question. I know that look," he said looking in Greg's eyes, "I've seen it enough time to know that the only place this conversation is leading is to a bigger gap between us. It's just like when we would get talking about your father or like when I told Amy that Brian wasn't any good for her, your mind is already made up."

House chastised himself for letting his emotions show so easily and relaxed his face some, "Wilson has made sacrifices for me and lost more than anyone should have to because he choose to be my friend. Things haven't changed that much for me Tuck, I don't have a lot of friends but I'm loyal to the ones I've got, something I thought we had in common."

"He treats you like a child! The way he came running into the apartment, like you needed saving and the way he looks at you when you have a drink, just listen to the way he talks to you Greg. He doesn't see you as a friend he thinks you need him, and that it's his place to tell you what to do. Tell me Greg what happens when people take that much control, huh? You've seen it before, you know what happens. When someone has that much power over you they lose focus of the limits that you just don't cross… because, they just have to see how far they can take it until," he sighed with a frown, " you hate them. He's not a friend right now Greg, he's controlling you and you're allowing it." Tucker said truthfully.

"And you don't treat me like a child? You're the one that traveled through six or seven states just to come here and make sure I was alright, when I didn't even contact you about what happened." House scoffed, "And now you're trying to tell me who I should and shouldn't be friends with."

O'Neil shook his head, "No, I'm not. I didn't impose my opinion on you. You asked what was going on and I told you how I felt."

"But you won't tell me why," House stated with cold eyes.

"No, I've learned over the years that on things like this people have to figure it out for themselves and I know you're smart and will, until then I can only hope you'll trust that I wouldn't make such an accusation without a good reason." Tucker said looking sad.

House hated this, he felt like if he let this go that he would be doing Wilson a disservice by not standing up for him, but at the same time Tucker was trying to let it go and he was doing so in a respectful manner. "He's my best friend," He said with conflict in his voice.

"I know," O'Neil said hoping that House could look past their differences.

House's mouth moved as he thought about how to handle this, "I love him like a brother and you like a father. I hope you're wrong, but for the time being I would appreciate you keeping your opinions about him to yourself."

Tucker nodded, "That will be pretty easy to do seeing as how I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I'm sure that Patricia and the girls will be glad to have you back and I can give you my number so next time you start getting worried about me you can just give me a call," House said casually.

O'Neil smiled, "That would be great."


	82. Chapter 82: Truth Will Set You Free

House was still thinking about Tuckers dislike for Wilson on the ride home, "Do you think there is anything to what O'Neil was saying about Wilson?"

Cuddy kept her eyes on the road, "O'Neil doesn't know Wilson nearly as well as you do."

House wasn't happy with the avoidance of the question, "Maybe I'm too close to see what Tucker see's, but I know he wouldn't say something was off unless he knew something was up and Wilson is hiding something in his office that he doesn't want me to know about."

"Or maybe Tucker is jealous to see you so close to someone else. He obviously sees you as more than a friend, like a son, and coming all this way to find you don't need him anymore, that you have good friends could make him feel resentment towards Wilson for taking his place, so to speak." She said and gave House a glance to see him thinking about her theory. "I know one thing for sure, Wilson cares about you and everything he does is with the best intentions in mind."

He looked over at her, "Wilson is a good friend isn't he."

"Yes he is," Cuddy said and gave a smile the put her hand on his left thigh. "That's enough about Wilson and Tucker. I'm interested about how you plan on settling you're debts with me tonight." She said looking back at the road with a mischievous smile.

House looked at her well manicured hand as it rubbed the inside of his thigh then back at the vixen herself. "What you don't think I'm good for it?"

"Oh I know you can do it, I wouldn't have made the deal if I didn't think you were more than capable of getting the job done. No, I'm more worried about you trying to back out of it," she said giving him a curious look.

"I keep my promises, you'll get what's cumming to you," he said with a smirk at his pun on the word.

"You might want to take another oxycodone for your leg, wouldn't want you to not enjoy yourself," Cuddy said as her hand traveled up higher.

House parted his legs more so she had more room to rub his crotch and took a pill, then put his hand on hers so he could guide it to his semi-hard penis. "Good thing is that Wilson shouldn't be home yet," he said as breathlessly.

"That is good news, I was hoping we would have to do everything in the car like some sort of horny teenagers," she said looking at the road as she rubbed his bulge.

"Don't lie to me Lisa, we both know you were hoping to get this SUV rocking. Then a cop would knock on the door and interrupt us and see what we were up to and throw off her hat, where her long blonde hair was pinned up and join us," he said as he felt his dick harden more.

Cuddy parked in the parking garage, "I think you have..." she stopped as House kissed her hungrily as his right hand caressed her breast. When he pulled back to breath she could see his eyes were dilated a good bit.

"We should go inside," he said as he sat back in the seat looking out the windshield at the elevator.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," she said as she pulled the top of her dress back where it had been and got out of the car then walked in the elevator with House trailing behind her.

As the doors were closing House noticed that there weren't any stops shown from the garage to the seventh floor which was his floor. When the doors shut he pinned Cuddy to the wall kissing her as if his very life depended on it. He'd thought he remembered how good she tasted and how good it felt but his imaginations were nothing compared to the real thing. He moaned as he felt her fingers claw as pants.

Cuddy opened her eyes and could see they were on floor six and held him back even though she would love for him to continue. "We're... almost on... your floor," she said as through panted breaths.

House turned around right as the doors opened, and they were both happy no one was there to see them both looking a little ravished. House walked awkwardly to his door because of the hard on that he was sporting and unlocked it. Cuddy followed him in and he pulled her too him with his left hand kissing with a need he didn't know even existed while using the crutch in his right hand to get him to the couch where he fell and she fell onto him. Cuddy quickly took off his jacket.

House was sitting upright with Cuddy on his lap and while she got the skirt of her dress lifted he unzipped it some so that he could kiss and massage her breasts. He felt her pull back some to unzip his pants and stopped her, "Sorry, the pants stay on, but that doesn't mean I wont have you moaning my name before the end of the night." He promised as he rubbed her warm wet panties against her finding her swollen clitoris.

Cuddy gasped as he rubbed with just the right about of force but she was still rubbing his cock through his pants. "Greg... don't you.. want to.. be inside me. You're so hard..." she moaned as she felt two of his finger slip inside her and curve to hit her G-spot. She jerked some as her mouth hung open feeling his finger expertly rub circles on it then would start tapping it roughly and then back to rubbing while his other hand worked on her clitoris she opened her eyes to see he was watching her as he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked it hard then kissed it some. Her breathing was becoming erratic and her cheeks were crimson as she knew she wouldn't last much longer. "Fuck you.. for .. being .. so good, I'm... about.. to.."

"Stand up," House said as he removed his hands and put them on her hips, pushing then lifting them and then his mouth was on her and with three swipes of his tongue her knees where literally shaking as he ate her up while one hand was in his trousers pumping his cock.

Cuddy was holding on to House's shoulder and wasn't sure she'd ever experience anything quite as intense as that had been she slowly opened her eyes to see his back while his head was still under the dress and swallowed as she looked up and then paled as she saw Wilson walking up the hallway. "Greg, stop," she whispered and pulled back some on unstable legs.

"What's wrong," House asked as his head peeked out from under the dress.

"Hey Cuddy, where's..." Wilson's voice trailed off as he saw House's head appear from Cuddy's skirt then noticed his other hand was in his pants. He stood there stunned.

Cuddy blushed shades of red that didn't even exist, "I've got to run... um see you at work," she said to House and bolted out the door, which was very impressive in the high heels with wobbly knees.

House swallowed removing his hand from his pants and grabbed the one crutch with his right hand then noticed the other crutch had been left close to the door. He slowly stood up with the one and started making his way to the other crutch, making slow movement because his legs were hurting more than he'd noticed before and in hopes that Wilson would stay silent if he didn't make any quick movements.

"What the hell were you doing?" Wilson said watching him with confusion.

Part of House wanted to laugh, "Well Jimmy, when two adults care for each other and are attracted to one anoth..."

"That's not what I meant. You said you weren't going to have a physical relationship with her until you knew for sure if you were HIV positive or not, and that's why it was okay not to tell her because nothing was going on. You can't not tell her about this and still... you know..." Wilson said and walked over to the crutch handing it House.

House grabbed it and started making his way to the bathroom, "I'm not having sex with her. I was careful. I was just holding up my end of the bargain, I get a fake date with her and she gets off from me. I restricted my tool belt to hands and mouth only, so back off." He said irritated by the lecture, the pain, the hard on he was trying to walk with and the fact that Wilson was following him.

"It doesn't matter, even if you were careful she has a right to know if you and her are having a sexual..." Wilson opened the door that House was trying to close behind him in the restroom, "relationship. What if she'd taken matters into her own hands."

"She tried and I stopped it," House said as he ran the hot water in the sink and clean his face and hands. When he was done he looked at Wilson, "Just leave it alone."

"You're playing with her emotions, you can't keep doing this!" Wilson said with frustration.

"Yeah that's it! It's not like I feel anything for her, it's not like I've been in love her for two decades or anything!" House yelled and took a few calming breaths as he saw Wilson's eyes widen some. "It won't happen again, there... you happy." House said as he made his way out of the bathroom.

"You really do love her, don't you?" Wilson asked as he slowly walked out of the bathroom, "You're not playing with her. You want something with her, more than sex, more than the jokes."

House closed his eyes for a moment as he thought about how much more he really did want with Lisa. Things he'd never had, like marriage and a family and children. He'd always thought those things would come along in due time, but they didn't and he'd lost hope a couple of years ago. He'd accepted that he'd never have those things, but during the time he dated Cuddy he'd began to let himself just taste the sweet nectar of hope and so quickly it had vanished. Now he was stuck in a gray area regretting how much time he'd wasted not going after the woman he loved from afar, and wondering if he'd be lucky enough to get a second shot. "Leave me alone," he said he walked slowly toward his room.

Wilson grabbed House's arm pulling back slightly to get him to stop but instead the man came crashing down. "Shit, I'm sorry I was just trying to get you to stop and talk to me a little," he said as he grabbed the crutches that had scattered and looked to see House gripping his thigh hard. "You okay?" Wilson asked with worry and then he noticed jerking of the muscles and frowned, "I'll get you a shot." He said and ran off to the kitchen and back quickly. "Here," he said as he moved House's hands away and administered the shot in the thigh muscle.

House stared at the ground, "I'm not going to be able to get up," he said feeling pathetic.

Wilson knew how hard that was for House to admit and hoisted the man up then helped him to the bed. "Cuddy told me that you said you loved her, but she didn't say that you told her you were in love with her." he said and got out House a pair of pajamas.

"That's because I haven't told her, it would give her complete control if I told her I was in love with her before she'd even said she loved me." House said as he unzipped his pants and pulled them down. He frowned at how swollen his legs were and grabbed the pajama bottoms.

Wilson noticed how puffy his legs were too, "I think you might have pushed it a little too much today."

"It'll go down," House said as he put on the pajamas.

"So, when you say you're in love with Cuddy..." Wilson said letting his voice fade out as he looked at House, with interest.

House rolled his eyes, "How else could I mean it?"

"So you want to marry her, have tons of little kids and grow old sitting on the porch with her in a rocker?" Wilson said with a hint of a smile.

"Yes, a couple of kids, and I don't like rockers," House said with annoyance.

"You with children that would be... interesting," Wilson said as he imagined House teaching the kids to do things they shouldn't.

House sighed looking down at his legs, "I'm not saying I'm the first person someone should pick to have children with, but it's not like I'm the worst choice, right?"

Wilson could see real worry in House's face and sighed, "No House, you would be the fun dad. I'm more worried about you showing them how to play poker or teaching them to say curse words in different languages."

"Well those are usually the most important words to learn, and the best way to learn is to practice," House said thinking about having two kids cursing in Mandarin. Then he sighed as he knew that would probably never happen and laid back looking at Wilson. "What happened with Tucker and you?"

Wilson was caught off guard by the question and shrugged, "He just doesn't like me, I'm not sure why."

House looked at him with some skepticism, "Everyone likes you, and Tucker isn't prone to being hard on people. It's just hard to believe that he liked you Thursday and for no reason, doesn't like you today."

Wilson wanted to just tell House, hiding this from House and pretending he hadn't read what he'd read was taking a toll on him. The only thing stopping him was his fear of House's reaction. He could take yelling or getting the quiet treatment, but if House moved out and pushed Wilson out of his life right now that was something he wasn't sure he could deal with, or House could. Today was the first day in a while that House actually ate well and it was so important for him to eat good and take his medications on time and not go back to the dark place. Even though House had been doing therapy he was far from happy, he was just withstanding at the moment and finding out about this could destroy all that work. "You sure you want to know?" He asked with concern.

House nodded, "I'd rather hear a bad truth than a good lie any day."

Wilson sighed, "Fine, Tucker was walking by my office and overheard you yesterday, but since he'd just been to see you he knew it couldn't be you and he opened the door to find me watching the DVD Stacy gave you. It didn't take him long to figure out that you didn't give it to me and that I'd taken it. I was just curious what it had on it and I wanted to see you back in the day when you were happier... I'm sorry I should have told you, but after he found out he kept saying that I'd betrayed your trust."

House's face was a blank slate, "You watched the DVD?"

"I'm sorry House, he was right it was an invasion of your privacy and I shouldn't have done it." Wilson said as he was getting more nervous because House was unreadable and not saying anything.

House slowly started chuckling and then ended up in a manic laughter. "This is... (laughing) about the DVD?" He barely got out while laughing so hard he was holding his stomach. "Shit..." House said calming down, "Oh man, the way he made it sound... Damn Tucker, he made it sound like my world would fall apart when I found out. So you watch an old DVD that Stacy made of me, it's not like it had anything on it that you didn't know. Well you might have seen a little more than you wanted," House said with a smirk remembering the stripping part.

Wilson grimaced, "Yes, that I did... I honestly think that was punishment enough," Wilson said shivering at the thought.

House laughed some, he was so relieved, "That'll teach you." He said and thought about it, "That's why you're door was locked the other day, you were watching it."

Wilson looked down with shame, "Yes, I didn't want you to find out and get mad. I'm a pretty crappy friend I guess."

"No you're not. You're the best friend a person could ask for. Look at all you've done for me, letting me stay here, convincing me to go to therapy, helping with the eating thing and that's not even considering all the support you've given me about my medical problems. I don't care that you watched that stupid DVD, after all we've been though something like that isn't going to get between us." House said sitting up some and swallowed. "I know I can be... difficult and that as nice as you've been about everything this has to be an inconvenience on you. I also know that I'm not always good about voicing my gratitude, but part of the reason I don't is because I don't know any words to truly explain how grateful I am to you. I don't know if I would have made it through this without you James and even now.. words fall short of what you mean to me." He said looking up to Wilson with sincere eyes.

Wilson struggled under the weight of the guilt that felt all consuming as he looked in House's eyes and could see the emotion behind them. "Um... thanks. I should... go to bed, night," he said and left.

House thought it was an unusual response but at the same time he was just happy to have this worked out. It had been eating at him for the past couple of days and now he could finally let it go and as he took a deep breath letting it out slowly he realized that he was exhausted. He reached over and turned off the light and was out with in minutes.

_House used a cane to make his way up the walkway to Lisa's front door. He was nervous as he straighten himself up some. He made sure the flowers looked their best and the plush toy rose that he'd bought for Rachel. He knocked on the door with the handle of the cane and then stood tall._

_Cuddy opened the door looking a little worn from the day but smiled at the sight of him. "Greg, you're right on time. You're going to have to excuse me for a bit, I'm still not done cooking. To be honest I didn't expect you to be on time, you never are." She said amazed at him._

"_I am when it's something I'm looking forward too. Now if I knew there was a chance by the end of the day at work I might see you in some sexy lingerie then I'd come in early everyday." House said giving her a mischievous grin._

_Cuddy rolled her eyes but blushed, "What makes you think you have a shot at seeing me in a teddy tonight?"_

_House sighed, "Damn, if I'm not going to get some then why am I even here," he said sarcastically and turned back around as if he was going to leave._

_Cuddy laughed and grabbed him putting a hand on his shoulder, "You better get in here if you even want a shot at having some hot sex tonight."_

_House turned back and went in the house, "Yes Ma'am," he said wagging his eyebrows. He loved that she knew him well enough to joke and flirt with him, it helped his nerves some. He needed this to go well._

_Cuddy watched as he looked a little lost and smiled at how the all knowing and cocky Dr. House was shy and insecure with normal social matters. "Are those for me?" She offered trying to help him out some._

"_Oh... yeah, these are yours and," House opened his jacket and pulled out the plush rose, "this is for Rachel."_

_Cuddy's eyes watered as she took them, so she didn't look up at him, instead she looked at the plush rose. She'd never seen anything like it and knew that House must have went out of his way to find it, and it was so cute. "Thank you, she'll... love it." She said trying to not burst into tears and hug the man to death. God he'd changed so much, or maybe she was finally seeing the real him._

"_I'm sorry, I didn't know what to give her. I made sure that it's hypoallergenic and the tag said it was okay for all ages." He'd heard the hesitation in her voice and was afraid he'd already screwed it up. "I'm sorry, I can get something else. I should have just got the plush bear, but I.."_

"_It's perfect Greg," Cuddy said looking up at him and putting a hand on his chest._

_He could see that her eyes were moist and her smile was genuine and he realized how much his gift meant to her. "Okay, should I just sit in the living room or would you like me to join you in the kitchen?" House asked as he felt unsure about what to do._

"_Oh yes, the food," Cuddy said and ran into the kitchen._

_House watched and figured he'd walk into the living room. He took off his suit jacket and draped it over the couch and then he saw Rachel looking at him from the play pin. House swallowed, never in his life had he been so intimidated by something so small. "Hey," he said casually and then realized he must have sounded like an idiot the baby wasn't even a year old yet. House looked through the kitchen to see that Lisa was busy with the food and looked back to Rachel. He figured he should just give her space and started to sit down on the couch but noticed her frown and her lip stuck out. House was frozen and watched her as he inched closer to sitting and Rachel's face scrunched, and House stood back up. He'd seen enough babies cry to know what that scrunched up face meant. House looked around, for what he wasn't sure, hopefully a sign or book that told him what to do. Maybe it was best to just go in the kitchen he decided and started to walk away when he heard the first sign of a cry and looked back at Rachel to her face in definite cry mode. "Shhh.." he said with wide eyes as he looked up to see Lisa hadn't heard it and walked closer to the play pin to see the cry face start to go away. "I'm House, Gregory House," he said feeling stupid and the baby gave him a odd look. He tilted his head as the baby seemed to think he was acting like a idiot too. He walked closer and her face relax some. "You know exactly what you're doing, don't you?" and to his surprise the baby smiled. "You get that from her you know," House said tilting his head in Lisa's direction as he walked closer. Rachel smiled bigger and laughed then she clapped her hands some and House smiled at her despite himself. He watched as she looked at his left hand that was now resting on the rail of the pin and reached up for it. She was sitting on the other side and toppled on her side then looked back up at his hand and chewed her lip as she crawled closer and tried again. House was a little amazed that she seemed to have such focus and determination as young as she was. She was unsuccessful two more times and looked up at him, then she patted her hand against the netting as if to let him know what she wanted. He usually didn't like people touching him that much but he was so curious he let his hand drop in the pin for her. Rachel smiled, as if happy he'd been smart enough to understand her obvious clue then grabbed it and started chew on it. House had to stop himself from just pulling his hand out as he felt the slobber coat one of his fingers and then he paid more attention and felt the gums along with one sharp tooth and then he understood. She was teething and though that his hand would make the perfect chew toy. _

_Cuddy was watching from the kitchen and sighed happily as she wondered how it was that her daughter had got him wrapped around her finger when it had taken her 24 years to even get close to accomplishing that. She felt her eyes tear up again, in that moment she knew that all her worries had been for nothing. House would be a wonderful father to Rachel and he was already the only man she really wanted. She wiped her eyes some and walked over. "Dinner is done, although it looks like she's using you as the appetizer."_

_House shrugged looking down at Rachel, "She's going to be a handful, she's actually not an idiot like most babies are." He said trying to pretend that a little baby girl hadn't outsmarted him._

_Cuddy grinned at his attempt, "Yeah, and believe me she knows it and will use it against you," she said and bent down picking up her daughter who still had a good grasp on House's hand. "You can take your hand back Greg."_

_House nodded and slowly pulled it away but as soon as Rachel did that half cry his hand was back and she chewed on it happily. House pretended not to see Lisa's gloating smile, "she's teething it medicinal," he said watching the baby._

"_Oh you're in trouble mister, she's going to walk all over you," she said and looked at her baby. "Sometimes you just have to let her cry. She's a baby, it's going to happen sometimes." She said and took his hand out of Rachel's mouth. Rachel started to cry some and then Cuddy put the bottle in her mouth and she drank. She looked back to see Greg looking a little unnerved, "I know it can get loud but after a time it stops becoming so nerve racking."_

"_It's not that," House said looking around as if expecting someone to jump out and then back at Rachel._

_Cuddy waited for him to continue but he didn't. She noticed him look around again at the door and other spots as if expecting someone and he'd gone from looking relaxed to on the edge. "Who are you looking for?"_

_House met her eyes and swallowed then looked back at Rachel. "I wasn't allowed to cry, I remember my mother trying to shh me because if he heard it..." his eyes dropped and he coughed. "I'm going to go wash my hands for dinner," he said quietly and walked off._

_Cuddy swallowed as he left, not sure if she wished he'd finished or was glad he hadn't. She couldn't understand House's father. Rachel wasn't biologically hers but within a week she'd fallen in love with this sweet baby and who wouldn't. She looked at Rachel and held her closer giving her a kiss on the forehead and in that kiss promised herself and Rachel that she'd never let anyone hurt her the way House had been._

_House stood in the bathroom staring in the sink as the water ran. His mind replaying the video in his mind that had popped in when Cuddy said 'sometimes you have to let them cry'. _

_He remembered his mother holding him and giving him bottle but he kept crying, his mother shook her head and shh-ed him but he kept crying and then suddenly a light came on in the dark. John yelled and Blythe pleaded but it was to no prevail. Then he felt himself getting shaken violently and he's eyes became unfocused as the noise stopped. John put him down looking at him with frustration and worry then dragged his wife out of the room and the light faded._

_House was breathing heavy as he stared into the sink and finally washed his hands. He looked up at the mirror to see he looked a little pale and washed it with some warm water to help bring some color back then dried it on her towel._

_Cuddy had put the baby in her booster seat, plated the table and had been sipping on her glass of wine for over ten minutes when House finally walked out of the restroom. "Hey, you alright?"_

"_Yeah," he said quickly and grinned, "I was just looking to see if I could find anything kinky in there."_

_Cuddy could tell that he was just trying to cover and didn't call him on it. "Sorry the kinky stuff is in the basement."_

"_Darn," House said back and sat down. "Well this smells and looks surprisingly edible."_

"_I'd like to see you do any better," Cuddy joked giving his arm a playful slap._

"_Ow," House and rubbed his arm jokingly, "see how mean she is to me," he said looking to Rachel who giggled still drinking her bottle as some formula ran down her chin._

_House teased Lisa from time to time about her cooking but ate his serving and then got some seconds. They had been done eating for a few minutes both of them watching Rachel. "The food was good," he stated still watching the baby with interest._

"_I'm glad you liked it," she said looking to him. "I'm going to go put her down, that's the fourth time she's almost nodded off." Cuddy said and got up then took Rachel to her room. She snuggled the baby close to her as she sat down in the rocker and rocked._

_House got up and put the dishes in the sink then walked over to the nursery. He remembered pulling Cuddy to him and kissing her with a passion and love that he'd tried to pretend he'd gotten over long ago. It felt surreal that he was in her house again but they were dating now and she had finally gotten her baby. He stepped in the doorway to see Cuddy singing to Rachel._

_Cuddy sang a couple of her favorite lullabies and looked up to see Greg standing in the doorway. As soon as their eyes met he looked down and walked out of the room as if he thought that he shouldn't intrude on their private moment. Cuddy frowned a little but knew it was her fault. She'd been hot and cold, not letting him know where he stood in her life or how long it would last. She put the sleeping baby away and walked out of the room to see House sitting in the living room. She walked behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. "You didn't have to leave," she said softly._

_House sighed, "I wasn't sure and I didn't want to interrupt you."_

_Cuddy walked in front of him, "What to do you think about her?"_

_House looked up in Lisa's eyes, "I wanted children for a long time before the leg, but after that happened and Stacy left I started trying to convince myself that they weren't worth the trouble. That the connection and love that people describe wasn't real, that it didn't exist and it was easier than it should have been to do because of how my family was. Now I see why you've been so hesitant about us, and you're right. I could never be good enough for her." He said with hurt in his eyes and stood up then turned to leave._

_Cuddy ran in front of him, "No, don't say that. You were great with her and she adored you. Greg you're right I was afraid of how you would be with her, but I'm not anymore. You were gentle and sweet with her. You weren't feeling me up or looking down my blouse during dinner you were watching her and showing interest in Rachel. I was afraid that you'd look at Rachel as something you had to put up with to be with me, instead of getting close to her and loving her but I'm not anymore. I know you don't love her like I do tonight but I know you will as time passes." She pulled his chin up to see his eyes were moist and he looked afraid to move. "It's okay," Cuddy said softly and kissed him._

_House kissed her softly back and swallowed at the end of it, "She deserves better, someone that's stronger, someone that's not already so screwed up." he said with his eyes still closed from the kiss._

"_Then I guess she's out of luck because I'm in love with you," Cuddy said with her hand on his chest. She watched as he opened his eyes that were wide and moist and she sniffled. "I should have said it before, but I was afraid about Rachel and you working out. I love you Greg," she said and kissed him again._

_House was completely stunned to hear the three words from her that he'd already excepted would never be said. He followed her as she pulled him to her bedroom with his left hand as he used the cane to walk, then she undressed him completely with the light from a lamp on and then herself. All the time he just stood there afraid that he was somehow going to break this moment. She stepped close enough that they were touching some and pulled his lips to hers. He felt his tears run down as he kissed her back and held on to her for dear life. When they broke apart she swallowed and for the first time since that night that he'd kissed her in the hall outside the nursery he saw vulnerability in her._

_Cuddy crawled on the bed never letting her eyes off his, "Make love to me, Greg."_

_House's heart ached at how much her words meant to him and got on the bed with her. He didn't care that she could see his scar or that his leg was hurting, it didn't matter or that she could see the tears in his eyes. He kissed her deeply and he made love to her slowly._

_Cuddy took slow deep breath as she looked in his eyes. There was no doubt about what they had shared it was far more than sex or lust. "I'm not on birth control," she said wondering what his reaction would be._

_House swallowed and moved back to let his penis fall out and then grabbed his pillow and lifted her hips putting them up higher to keep his seed in. He looked in her eyes, "Just promise me, you won't abort unless you have to, that you'll talk to me about it," he said seriously._

_Cuddy pulled his face to hers, "I love you Greg, I could never do that to you, okay?" He nodded and she kissed him and that's when Rachel decided to start crying. _

_Cuddy started to move but House put a hand on her belly. "Let's not let all my effort be in vain. I'll wash my hands and go check on her. You stay here and let my old crippled ass sperm have a shot."_

_She smiled, "Okay," she said and laid back down._

_House pulled his pants on and washed his hands. He walked in to see Rachel red faced and picked her up which stopped the tears and quieted the noise some too. "Hey Rachel," he said softly sitting in the rocker, even though he didn't care for them. "I love your mommy and you're a pretty cool kid," he said and smiled as she grabbed his hand and started chewing in it again. "Even if you are a cannibal," House said and chuckle. "What I'm trying to say is... how do you think you like me as a dad? I promise I'll never hurt you or let anyone hurt you. I know I won't be any good for the father daughter dances, but Wilson has always been a better dancer than me anyways. I'll be good for homework though and I promise that you can come to me with anything, and I mean anything. Believe me if you can think it, I probably did it and more." He watched as she looked like she was still on the fences, "I could teach you how to play the piano and guitar, and I'm not bad at singing. Would you like me to sing something for you?" She pushed his hand away and looked up at him with interest. He didn't know a lot of lullabies so he sang Broken Hallelujah by Mandisa instead. When he was done he smiled at her and then his __leg jerked with pain he closed his eyes but when he _opened them back up Rachel wasn't there.

He panicked afraid he must have dropped her and looked around but discovered he was in his bed at Wilson's. "No," he said softly shaking his head not wanting to accept that it was all a dream. "NO!" he yelled with such heart wrenching pain the voice didn't even sound like his. He turned his face into the pillow and yelled over and over again until he throat hurt and he had nothing left.


	83. Chapter 83: Depressing Realities

Wilson glanced over at the cold expression on House's face and then back at the road letting out a sigh that said he'd stayed quite as long as he could. Sunday House hadn't said more that two words to him but he'd let it go because House was obviously in pain from the leg, then Monday House hadn't said anything but he had been too exhausted to get into it with him and yesterday House hadn't eaten or spoken and every time Wilson tried House would go lock himself in a room.

"Don't start," House said with a hoarse voice.

Wilson frowned glancing back over seeing the worn man and back at the road again. "You're not sleeping well, you're hardly eating and you're not talking to anyone. Cuddy and your whole team has come up to me expressing concern, it's time to talk."

House looked out his side window ignoring Wilson's efforts.

"Is this about me watching the DVD or Tucker?" Wilson asked.

"No," House said still looking out the window.

"Is it about the pain or the HIV?" Wilson said taking another stab.

"No," House answered again, "but thanks for reminding me about the HIV, I'd hate to go through a day not worrying if I have an incurable disease," he said with bitterness.

Wilson let out a huffed breath and pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the car. He looked at House, who looked back at him with irritation. "This has gone on for long enough, just tell me what's going on."

House glared at Wilson, "What the hell are you doing? We've both got to get to work and I've already told you I don't want to talk about it."

"Greg I'm worried about you, we all are... can't you see that. Something is wrong, really wrong, and I'm not going to continue to sit by and watch you starve yourself and push everyone away without at least giving it my all." Wilson said looking as House looked back out the window, "Please House, whatever it is, your depressed by it and it's only getting worse. You didn't even eat yesterday!"

House leaned his forehead against the cool glass of the window, "You ever have a dream that seemed real and then when you woke up you were disappointed it was just a dream?"

Wilson was a little surprised by the question, "Yes, not often, but it's happened. Is that what this is about, a dream?"

House looked at Wilson, "I can't get it out of my head."

Wilson frowned at the desperation he heard in his voice, "What was the dream about?" He asked but the knowing look from House answered his question. "Cuddy? This is all about having some wet dream about CUDDY?"

"It wasn't just a wet dream!" House yelled defensively and surprised himself as much as Wilson. His emotions were just still so raw from the dream and thinking about.

"I'm sorry, please tell me about the dream," Wilson said turning in his seat to face House better.

House swallowed, "It was like I'd never gotten attacked. I was going to her place for dinner with her and Rachel. Everything felt so real and it went great. I enjoyed Rachel, and Cuddy told me she thought I would make a good father and that she was in love with me. We," he hesitated a little at describing it hoping Wilson wouldn't make fun of him, "made love. It was incredibly tender and yet so passionate then when were done she said she wasn't on birth control. I was thrilled because I knew she was really asking if I was okay with trying to get her pregnant then I asked her not to abort unless she had to and she said she could never do that to me. Rachel started crying and I asked Cuddy to stay and give my seed a chance, then I went in and held Rachel. I told her that I would... try to be a good dad and was trying to convince her when I woke up. Then it was gone... all of it, Rachel, Cuddy and my child to be where just ripped away..." He said distantly looking out the windshield of the car.

Wilson flinched at the thought of it as he looked at the sorrow on House's face. "House... maybe someday.."

"Don't LIE to ME!" House yelled as his eyes moistened some and he took a deep breath. "I know you're just trying to be nice but I can't your optimism about this Jimmy, because then I might let myself believe in the hope... and I don't think I can survive it getting smashed again." He said looking at Wilson.

The words almost brought tears to Wilson's eyes, "You still have me," he putting a hand on House's covered arm.

House grinned some, "I know I've been more than happy to let you take on several roles in my life but I'm not quite ready to go there yet."

"You sure, I have a pretty sexy ass," Wilson said with humor as he smiled.

"Thanks but no thanks. I just need a new case to keep my mind busy and concentrating more on my walking," House said as he looked back out the windshield with ridged features.

Wilson nodded, "Well you could try not to go through you're cases so fast, you've ran through three of them in only two days."

House looked at him with interest, "What would you have me do? Pretend I haven't figured it out when I have? Lately my minds just been making connections quicker between the illness and symptoms. It's okay Wilson, I'll be fine," he said looking away again.

"You've been doing really good with the crutches House. I really think you could be back to the cane in just a couple of weeks as long as you keep up with the physical therapy and concentrate on how you're walking with the crutches." Wilson said as he started the car and glanced over at House to see his cold features return, "Hey, are you sure you're okay?"

"It was just a dream Wilson, and dreams were made to be broken. Don't make me regret telling you about this by nagging me about it constantly. I'll be fine," House said looking back out the side window.

"I'll let up on the nagging if you will eat, deal?" Wilson asked and watched as House nodded then he got back on the road.

11111111111

"Maybe we should tell him later, he looks busy," Kutner said as the team watched House looking over the balcony on the third floor that over looked the lobby as his eyes followed people with a dead look in his eyes.

Taub rolled his eyes, "He was right about the patient. He'll want to know that so he can get another case."

"Something is wrong with him, it just feels like we're feeding some addiction for him by letting him work instead of address whatever is going on," Thirteen said wondering where the life in House's eyes had gone.

"Like that's something new! There's always been something wrong with him and he's always ignored his problems with work. I don't see what the big deal is, he's saving lives, no one is getting hurt," Taub said with some annoyance.

Foreman looked down at the man as if he was an idiot, "Not like this. When's the last time you remember him making a joke about your height or marriage or being a Jew?"

Taub had to admit that he couldn't remember one joke or even degrading comment all week and that was extremely unusual for the man that usually couldn't go more than a couple of hours without doing so. "So he's finally treating us with some small amount of respect and your worried about. How about we actually try to enjoy this, it'll be as if we were working with someone normal."

"I didn't come to work with him because he's normal, did you?" Kutner said seriously and Taub frowned in a silent agreement.

Foreman sighed, "We'll tell him but during lunch I'm going to hunt down Chase and see if he knows what's going on with House. He's worked with him the longest, he might be able to help."

They all nodded in agreement and started walking towards House. House's shoulders slumped, "I was right again." He stated not even looking in their direction.

The lack of gloating or even irritation in House's voice was concerning to the whole team as they glanced at one another. "Yeah, are there any other cases we should start on?" Kutner asked.

"No, you can ask Cuddy and if she doesn't have anything maybe you can find something in the clinic or ER." House said in a monotone voice as watched Cuddy walk over to the nurses station.

The team stood there a moment waiting for something but House didn't say anything else and they silently left. None one said anything until they were in the elevator. "Did anyone else think the way he was looking at Cuddy was... odd?" Thirteen asked.

"It wasn't odd, it was sad," Kutner said with concern and everyone glanced at him because they had been thinking the same thing.

"It's lunch time, Chase should be in the cafeteria, maybe he can help," Foreman said but felt more worried than he liked.

When the elevator doors opened Wilson was standing on the other side. "Hey, I was just looking for House any of you know where he is," he asked with a smile. The corners of Foreman's mouth dropped a little farther as the rest of the team exchanged worried glances at one another. The way House's team was acting didn't reassure Wilson at all. "Where is he?" He asked as his smile faded.

"On the third floor balcony," Foreman said as him and rest of the team got off the elevator.

"How's the case going?" Wilson asked getting on the elevator.

"He solved it already, and honestly he didn't even seem happy about it," Kutner said searching Wilson's eyes for answers but then the doors closed.

Wilson worried on the way up and when he saw House he knew why his team seemed a little more rattled. House's body language was completely different from the norm. His shoulders hunched, knuckles white, head down and his face held no expression but in a different way then usual. Usually it was the mask he wore that was expressionless and cold which made his face look sharp and stiff but now it was relaxed as if no emotions ran through the man. "House..." he said softly.

House looked at Wilson noticing the concern, "Time for lunch," he said walking past Wilson to get on the elevator.

Wilson followed him and felt a chill run down his spine as he'd noticed the lack of life in House's eyes. "Maybe you should talk to Cuddy about the dream," he said as the elevator doors closed.

"You promised not to nag," House responded, though it really didn't sound like he cared, more like he was just reminding Wilson of a known fact.

Wilson remained quite until they got to the cafeteria and House started making his way to a empty table with the crutches instead of the line. "Hey, you promised to eat," he said following.

"I will," he said sitting down, "It doesn't really matter what I eat though as long as it gives me energy to keep on living though." House said looking at Wilson.

"Fine, maybe I'll get you a salad then," Wilson said hoping to get a rise or something from House other than what he was getting.

"Whatever," House said without any fight.

Wilson swallowed and got in line when he came back he had a hamburger and fries on one side of the tray and a large club salad on the other side. He sat down, "So which one do you want," he asked wanting to force the man to care about something even if it was just what he was having for lunch.

"It doesn't matter," House said looking at Wilson.

"Then you can have the salad," Wilson said, knowing House didn't care for them. House took the plate off the tray and started eating it as Wilson watched. "You hate salad," he said while watching House.

"Should that matter?" House said looking at Wilson.

Wilson looked at him with confusion, "Yes it should matter."

"Why? Food is food, nutrients are nutrients. Why should feeling be involved in food consumption, feelings are erratic and illogical. I'm sure a five year old would be happy to eat ice cream for every meal but that doesn't mean it's a good idea." House said eating his salad.

"What's this really about, and don't say it's about children eating ice cream," Wilson said taking a bite of his hamburger.

House ate a couple of bites of salad, "I'm tired of trying to fight it," he said with a sigh.

"Fighting what?" Wilson asked putting the burger down.

"Who I am," House said casually. "I'm not the guy that goes home to a wife and child. I'm not someone who escapes incurable medical conditions. I'm not the guy who really gets to be happy, so why try."

Wilson's frowned deepened, "You can't be serious. What's the point to living if you don't even try to be happy."

"I have everything I ever expected to have and more. I'm successful and respected. I never expected to be happy or to have anyone in my life, but somehow I got you anyway. I've always known I would die so does it really matter if it's by HIV or a car crash? I can be content and by giving up on these childish hopes I don't have to be disappointed." House said logically. "Look at the bright side Wilson, now you won't have to hear me whine so much."

"If you really believe it doesn't matter how people die then why are you a doctor," Wilson asked with narrowed eyes.

"Because I'm good at it and sometimes I get a challenge, even though lately that hasn't been the case. I'm not saying I want to die, just that I know I will. I'll take the medications but why hope to die another way when it really doesn't matter?" House asked waiting to see Wilson's response.

Wilson thought about that for a moment, "Because dying of a disease means suffering but in a car crash you don't usually suffer nearly as long."

"Maybe I deserve to suffer," House said stuffing one large bite in his mouth, finishing off the salad, then getting up and walking away.

Wilson felt his skin tingle with deep fear as he looked in House's dead eyes as he spoke. His mouth hanging slightly open without any words behind his lips as his brain seemed scrambled as he watched his best friend walk out of the cafeteria. He took in a hitched breath when he disappeared down the hall. He could remember hearing those same words with the same dead eyes screamed at him one night not long after Stacy had left and the next day finding House unconscious from drugs in an over flowing tub as his nose was less than an inch from the water. Wilson slowly rose from his seat and stopped on five pair of eyes that were watching him that belonged to House's team and Chase. He narrowed his eyes and walked up to them. "You getting together to plan another humiliating joke on him like you did by gluing him in his office chair?" He said glaring at them with his hands resting on his hips.

"No, we're worried about him," Kutner answered.

Wilson's eyes softened, "Any particular reason you're worried."

Foreman studied Wilson, if there was anyone that would know what was going on it would be Wilson. "He isn't calling us idiots, actually he isn't making jokes or demeaning us in any way. The only thing he talks about is the case, and he's even stopped using metaphors." He said with his arms crossed.

Chase frowned, "This is serious isn't it," he said looking to Wilson.

Wilson chewed his lip some, "I'm beginning to think so. I should go," he said and left quickly.

"I don't see why everyone is so worried. Yes, House isn't acting like himself but is that really such a bad thing?" Taub asked.

Chase looked over to Taub with irritation, "If House isn't mocking you then he doesn't care about you and if he isn't using metaphors then doesn't even care to try to teach you. The only time he doesn't use metaphors is if the patient is critical so he doesn't have the time or he's in too much pain to put the effort in to come up with one, but not doing them for no real reason...sounds like's he's just given up."

Thirteen frowned recalling the discussion that House and her had about her refusal to do the lung biopsy and her suspicions that he too was dealing with some incurable disease. "What if he's sicker than he is letting on?" She said looking at the others.

"Cuddy wouldn't let him work if he wasn't healthy enough to," Foreman answered.

Thirteen raised an eyebrow looking at him, "I'm healthy enough to work at the moment, but I still have a disease that will eventually kill me." Everyone's eyes were on her contemplating.

"What makes you think it could be medical?" Chase asked with interest.

Thirteen licked her lips as every eye was on her, "The way he talked to me about having Huntington's and how people deal with knowing their death sentence... it felt like he was talking about himself."

"He's not dying," Chase said with a little more conviction than needed making everyone's attention go to him. "I know he doesn't act like it but he's actually pretty good with human emotion, just because he can have a deeper understanding of how it would feel to be in that situation doesn't mean he's in it." He swallowed and got up, "I've got a surgery, talk to you later," he said to Foreman and walked out. As he walked the corners of his lips dropped more and he shook his head. Accepting that House might be dying wasn't an option, because House was more than just a great doctor or a friend, he was family.

111111111111111

Cuddy stood outside House's office looking in at him. They hadn't really spoken since Saturday night, House had been sending his team to get new cases and when they would be in the same area he would suddenly disappear. She took a deep breath and smoothed out her skirt and jacket then went in.

House knew who it was, the sound of her steps along with a whiff of her perfume. "Cuddy, what can I do for you," he said still filling out the paperwork.

Cuddy sighed and sat down looking at the papers he was working on. "It's time to make good on our deal."

"I already did," House said not missing a beat.

"Not that deal," She said glancing at him to see he was still not looking at her and sighed again. "You promised to sing at the next couple of events, and the first of those events is Friday. We always donate twenty-five percent of the donations to a charity and this Friday that charity is to the New Jersey Child Abuse Association, so at least one of your songs need to be about that issue." Cuddy said and swallowed expecting the worst when House looked at her.

"Sure," he said glancing over her quickly and looking back down at papers.

Her brows furrowed as she tilted her head noticing something was missing in his eyes. "Greg... did I do something? Is this about Saturday night?"

House looked up at her, "No. Is there anything else you needed," he asked in a monotone voice.

Cuddy frowned, "Um... I'll need to approve your song choice, so if you could give me the list of the three songs you plan to sing by tomorrow that would be good."

"Fine," he said nodding feeling numb as he looked at the woman he'd already lost.

"Something is... different about you," She said with concern.

House nodded, "I'm finally accepting my life for what it is."

Something in the pit of her stomach felt wrong, "And what is that," Cuddy asked.

"I'm a successful doctor with some decent friends that will never walk without a cane. I'm not the guy that women marry or have children with and I will probably die in one of these beds." He said not sounding bitter of even sad about it

"There's a difference between accepting what you are and giving up on yourself," she said looking in his dull eyes.

"There's also a difference between banging your head in a brick wall and fighting for something that is never going to happen," House said honestly.

Cuddy stood up looking at him with disbelief, "Not for you. House that's what makes you who you are. You don't ever give up. You keep pushing even when no one else see's the reason behind it, even when everything blows up in your face you keep going!"

"Not anymore," he said looking back at the papers. "Why did you decided to focus on child abuse for this benefit?"

"Because of the things I've heard you say. No one should have to go through what you did Greg, no one," she said softly.

House wasn't surprised or irritated by the answer, it was what he'd expected. "This event isn't going to change anything you know. There are still going to be adults abusing children and children who will lie for them."

"At least I'm trying," Cuddy said with a frown and a little accusation in her voice.

He sighed, "All fighting that battle got me was, more scars," he said looking in her eyes, "if only I had learned to stop fighting my life back then... maybe there would be less of them."

Cuddy's eyes widened as they moistened some, "You were right to fight it Greg, you have to know that."

"For people who never lived it that is the natural conclusion, but in reality the only thing fighting it did was leaving me with some permanent impressions and I'm not just talking about memories." House said as casually as if he was talking about the weather.

Her mouth hung open some at the real lack of emotion in his voice instead of the tight voice he usually spoke about emotional things with that let her know he was just trying to mask his emotions. She licked and pursed her lips then left without another word because honestly what could she say. On her way out the door she ran right into Wilson who was wearing an expression that she couldn't help thinking must have mirrored her own. "House?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

Wilson sighed, "Isn't it always," he answered with a frown.

"Follow?" she asked and walked down the hall away from House's view then looked at Wilson, "Do you know what might have brought this on?"

He sighed loudly rubbing the back of his neck, "I'm pretty sure it was more than a dream."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Cuddy asked with interest.

"Nothing," Wilson said with a guilty look, "I have an hour before my next patient I think I'll run home for a second, check something out."

She put her hand on his arm, "James, what was the dream about?"

He looked at her and then back in the direction of House's office licking his lips as he looked back at her. "He never told me to keep it a secret but it's not like he said he wanted you to know either so what I say doesn't get back to him, alright?" Cuddy nodded and he sighed as he got the feeling more and more that maybe Tucker was right. "He had a dream that he instead of getting attacked he actually made it to that dinner at your place."

Cuddy looked confused, "Okay, so what was so horrible about the dream that would make him act like this?"

Wilson's eyes dropped from hers as his guilt seemed to grow, "He wasn't upset because it was a bad dream, he was upset because it was a good dream."

She rolled her eyes, "Another wet dream? That's what this is about?" she whispered.

"It wasn't just a wet dream...it was... maybe I shouldn't be telling you this," He said as the guilt only seemed to get heavier.

"No," Cuddy said grabbing his arm, "You can't tell me this much and then run off. What was it?"

Wilson looked in her eyes taking some comfort that by telling her, he'd at least make her happier. "In the dream he bonded with Rachel some, you told him that you were in love with him and what a great father he would make. Then you two... you know... and you weren't on birth control but seemed happy at the chance of maybe carrying his child which make him happy, then Rachel cried and he was comforting her while trying to convince her of hard he would try to be the father she deserved." He saw the shock, concern and guilt in her face. "When he woke up to realized that not only was it not true, but that it would probably never actually happen... he... it effected him immensely."

Her hand slid from his arm and she swallowed her blurry eyes looking at House's office. "I've got work to do. Let me know what you find out," She said making her way past Wilson and to the stairs. She quickly went down them wiping at her eyes. House's dream had been so romantic and sweet but honestly she didn't know if she could ever really trust him with her child and she knew she wasn't in love with him. She closed the door to her office not even acknowledging her assistant and leaned against it as silent tears fell and she wiped at them. "I should end this," she whispered to herself feeling her knees weaken and letting herself slide to floor. She had feelings for him, more that friends and more than just a physical attraction, she might even love him but being in love with him... that was way farther than she was.

_Maybe with some more time I'll fall in love with him too_, she thought but shook her head with doubt. _He's in love with me and wants to be a father, this should be a good thing, I should be happy! Isn't this what I've wanted?_ Cuddy wrapped her arms around herself. This was everything she'd told herself she'd wanted but instead of being happy she was sad. _He he left me once, what if he does that again? What if he does that after Rachel's gotten close to him?_ She knew that it was always a risk but some reason being left by House seemed worse than being left by someone else. _What if I never fall in love with him or what if I hurt him just as bad as Stacy did?_ "No," she whispered at the idea of bringing that kind of pain to him again, the kind of pain that took him a decade to get over while pushing everyone away and closing off his heart, his precious heart. _I love him but maybe I should just distance myself a little; give myself a chance to really think about where I see us in the future._ She took a deep breath considering the first reasonable thought she's had since finding out about his dream. Cuddy stood up and washed her face. She couldn't remember the last relationship that she was this emotional about, but then again she couldn't remember the last time she cared this much for a man. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not when she sat down at her desk to work.

111111111111

Wilson walked into House's office five minutes after five. "Hey," he said casually as he walked in and sat down in a chair across from House.

House put up his index finger as he wrote something at the ended of a patient file and then closed the folder. "I'll be ready in five minutes," he said putting the file in his out box then grabbing his backpack and putting stuff in it.

"Fine," Wilson said watching him closely. "So how have you been doing remembering all the medications?" He asked innocently.

"Good," House said stuffing his MP3 player in one of the outer pockets.

Wilson rolled his tongue around in his mouth a little before taking a prescription bottle from his pocket and putting it on the desk. "Then why does this bottle have more pills than it's suppose to?"

House looked at the bottle and slipped on his coat as he stood up with the crutches, "Because I don't need them," he answered as he put the backpack on.

"They're your antidepressants. You don't think that there might be some connection between your stopping taking them and your sudden epiphany that happiness doesn't matter?" Wilson said staring his friend down.

House rolled his eyes, "It's a low dose Wilson. It doesn't have anything to do with my change in mind set."

"Great," Wilson said and took out a pill, "then start taking them again. If they didn't have any effect on you then it wont change anything if you take them, right?"

"The reason I was put on them was for the PTSD and probability of HIV, which I'm over. I don't need them," House said as he started to walk past Wilson.

Wilson moved in front of him, "Prove it! Start taking the pills again and if you still feel the same way in a week I'll believe you."

House looked at the pill Wilson still was holding out to him and sighed, "They're not going to make a difference," he said and popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed.

"For your sake I hope they do because the friend I know never gave up, he was a fighter," Wilson said grabbing the pill bottle.

House really didn't think the pills would make a difference but if it was that important to Wilson then he owed it to him to give it a shot.


	84. Chapter 84: A Reason to Fight

Wilson hadn't slept well all night. He'd seen House live through some terrible thing in their friendship and from the little House had told him about his childhood and the military, he'd made it through even worse things he hadn't see. Each battle had taken something from him, they all changed and molded him in ways, but he still always made it through because more than him being anything else, he was a survivor. He knew House would say it was because of the way he was raised but Wilson didn't believe that. There had always been a light inside House, it wasn't something he shared a lot with people, but it was in his laugh and in his eyes when he talked about an exciting case or new study in a medical journal. Even when House wasn't laughing or excited about something it would shine through some in his eyes, making them seem alive and purposeful, but what he'd seen yesterday scared him. There were many adjective people might use to describe House, but dull, boring, lifeless, and dispassionate weren't ones that people ever used, but that was what Wilson had seen yesterday. Honestly he'd rather see House angry or sulking than to see the light completely gone from him. Wilson was pretty sure that the only thing that could really kill House was House, other things might hurt him or cause him pain, but nothing could end him except himself. That is what kept Wilson up all night, because it felt like he'd lost a friend yesterday, as if House gave himself an emotional lobotomy.

He'd woken up a little before five and laid in the bed fifteen minutes before starting the coffee, at which time he checked the guest shower to find it slightly wet and the towel damp. He sighed, even though the crutches gave House some more freedom than the wheelchair, it also meant more pain and less sleep. He stopped at House's room putting his ear to the door and could hear some heavy breathing and slow steps with the crutches. Wilson made a note to himself to make sure House was taking enough medication since he'd started walking with the crutches, suffering extra pain could be part of the reason that House didn't care about anything anymore. He took a shower, trying his best to come up with a plan on fixing his friend and by the time he was dressed and drinking his first cup of coffee a couple of things had come to mind. He could try to really piss House off, it wasn't ideal, but if he managed to really make him mad then it would prove that he did care about something and that was a start. Also there was dosing him with a moderate antidepressant in his food, yes it was a little deceitful but if it got House better then it would be worth it. As a last resort, he'd come up with something that was a bit risky, trying to convince Cuddy to invite House over to her place for dinner with her and Rachel. If things went well the House might re-evaluate things and change his perspective but if thing went bad... well it could make things worse than they already were.

Wilson straighten up in his chair when he heard House open his bedroom door, "Hey, I've got some coffee brewed if you want some and I made waffles for breakfast."

House nodded as he walked to the table and looked at the coffee pot, then sat down and started eating the waffles.

Wilson got up, "I'll make your coffee if you want some," he said remembering that House couldn't actually hold the cup of coffee and walk with the crutches.

"Fine," House said flatly as he ate.

Wilson quickly made him a mug full and put it down beside him and then sat back down. "So... how'd you sleep last night."

"Fine," House said drinking some of the coffee and going back to the waffles.

Wilson frowned, "You're legs didn't bother you any? I figured now that you were moving on the crutches they might start hurting more."

House took another bite, "Pain isn't anything new or unusual to me."

"How are doing on the pain medication? I can get you more if you're almost out." He offered, for once in his life hoping House would take more pain medication.

"I'm good," House said as he pushed the waffles aside to finish the coffee.

"Well just make sure you're taking enough that the pain is manageable, there is no reason for you to have to suffer." Wilson said watching him, but House didn't even respond he just got up and walked over to the door where his backpack was and looked at it. Wilson stood up, "You didn't like the waffles?" he asked, slightly hurt.

"I'm not that hungry," House said still contemplating his backpack.

"You need to eat," Wilson said back a little firmly.

"I did," House said back softly as he stared at the backpack.

"You need to eat more," Wilson said looking at the only half eaten waffle.

House didn't really care, a bite or a whole plate, it really didn't seem to make a difference so he walked back over to the table and quickly forced down the rest. "There, now at least you feel better," he said and made his way to the door. "You ready to go?"

Wilson frowned and then something grabbed his attention, the backpack was still on the ground. "Aren't you taking your backpack?"

"Nope," House answered.

"But... you always take your backpack," Wilson said with concern.

House shrugged, "I don't need it."

Wilson walked over and picked it up, "Doesn't it have your medication in it?"

"No, I took that all out a while ago, I've just been putting the pills I take at work in a sandwich bag," he pulled the bag out of his pocket. "See, it's all right here."

Wilson looked at the amount of pills and then back at the bag, "If you don't need it then why do you always have it with you."

"I keep a emergency kit in there that can handle most injures, some money in case I ever get stranded somewhere and have to stay at a motel that only takes cash, some old journals, and other random crap." House said casually.

"Why?" Wilson asked looking at him with confusion.

"I've always carried something like that, ever since the age of seven I made sure that I kept a kit on me. I never knew what new injuries I might get or what supplies I'd have to mend it with and going to the hospital was annoying. They would all give me those looks, so I read up and my father taught me some stuff. When I was a kid I kept my money and kit duck-taped to my leg under my pants. I learned a lot from it and it saved my ass more than a couple of time." House said looking at the backpack.

Wilson was both surprised and worried about House admitting something so personal. The fact that House didn't show the slightest emotion in his voice or eyes when telling something so sad, meant he no longer cared enough to keep it a secret. "Then why wouldn't you want to take it?" Wilson asked.

"I told you, I'm not fighting it anymore," House said. "There have been a hundred times, if not more, that I should have died, would have died, if I hadn't had a plan or my backpack or fought back, not anymore though."

Wilson grabbed House's jaw, making the man look at him, "You told me you weren't suicidal."

"Just because I'm not going to kill myself, doesn't mean I want to live," House said truthfully and pulled back a little.

Wilson took a step back, "So you want to die," he said with accusing eyes.

"Not so much I want to die as I just don't care if I do," House said then tilted his head some, "which really isn't something new. It's just now I'm being truthful about it."

Wilson's eyes narrowed on him, "You know what that load of garbage sounds like to me? It sound's like someone who is suicidal but just doesn't have the guts to do it!"

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," House said turning back toward the door but Wilson grabbed his arm and pulled him back around.

"And why is that House! Because I've had it so much better! My brother has schizophrenia and ran away after I hung up on him, I've been divorced THREE time, and YOU'RE the best friend I have! You're not the only one that hurts House, you're not the only one that has had shitty luck."

"My father shot me in the arm when I nine, then told me to not make a sound as I stitched it up myself and bandaged it, after I managed to do that he proceeded to teach me how to climb a tree with a bullet wound. I've never had a woman love me enough to even consider marriage, the closest woman to that aborted my children with out a word to me." House said showing a moment of sadness. "We both know I'm going to be in pain for the rest of my life, that isn't going to change, and I'll never walk with out the cane... but now I will probably have AIDS on top of it and never be loved. There are lines when it just becomes too much. Now I promised you I wouldn't kill myself, but I'm sure as hell not going to to fight to live just so I can be a crippled HIV patient in chronic pain that was never really loved. If that disappoints you, then too bad. If you don't want to have anything to do with me, then that's fine, but it's not going to change my mind." House said.

Wilson's was scared and mad, he didn't want House to go anywhere, even if his life sucked so much it was hard to breath. He needed him. "Maybe someone should knock some sense into you, evidently it worked when you were a kid!" Wilson barked out with his right hand in a fist.

"Why not? Everyone else has hit me, why not you too." He said with a shrug and a casual tone. "Come on Wilson, hit me. I've cause you so much grief and it would help release all that anger that you have deep down. It'll be therapeutic to finally let all those bad feelings out on me, for your brother, for the ex-wives, for Amber, for all the pain I've caused you." House said and could see fear in Wilson's face, "It's okay... I deserve it... I always have," he said truthfully.

Wilson swallowed with moist eyes and looked away, it was as if House could see inside him. The only person Wilson had ever let his anger out on was House, and that was only verbally. He'd said some terrible things to House just to hurt him, because he was hurting. He had bottles full of anger, resentment, jealously, hurt, and depression that had never really been dealt with, because he was Wilson and Wilson was a nice guy who never felt those things. If there was one person who had the least amount of bottles on those shelf, it was House, because House was the only person he'd ever expressed negative feeling too. It was okay to be mean to House because everyone was, and if he did try to pretend everything was okay when it wasn't, House would push him until he let it out. "I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have bad feelings about people and I don't want to hit you."

"Denial is a wonderful place isn't it?" House said, then turned to the door again. "We should go."

"Yeah," Wilson said grabbing his jacket and then followed House out the door.

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House walked in the hospital and headed towards the elevators when he was stopped by Beth.

"Dr. House, how are you today?" Beth asked when she walked in front of him on her way to take some papers to Cuddy's office.

"I'm here," House said lifelessly.

Beth's eyebrows twisted as she looked up at him and then furrowed in concentration. "Have you been sleeping well? Your eyes look... different," she said tilting her head as she appraised him.

"Same as always," House answered.

Beth nodded as she still felt like something was off about him and felt some concern about it. "Well you must be over joyed that you don't have to work the clinic anymore, huh?" She said with a smile, hoping to hear him sound more normal.

House shrugged, "It's all the same. Sick people looking for answers, then you fix them and they get to go home to friends and family, while you still have to grit your teeth through every step, knowing that when you get home no-one will be there."

She blinked at him a moment not knowing what to say to the unexpected response. "House is everything okay?"

"Same as always," He answered.

Beth frowned, "How's the walking coming?" She figured he'd have to be happy about being on the crutches.

"You mean limping? It's painful, but with luck I'll be limping with the cane in a month or so and then I'll be able to at least have one hand open to carry things with while I limp around in pain, so..." House said looking at the elevator. "Standing hurts, you mind if I go to work now, I'd hate to piss off Cuddy before lunch."

"Um.. yeah," She said and chewed her lips as he continued noticing how dead he looked. "Hey," she called and he stopped but didn't turn, "take care of yourself House."

"It's not like I have a choice, I'm living with Wilson," He said and left.

Beth watched him until the elevators closed and then she tried to remember what she was doing before. Luckily she still had the reports and forms in her hand and remembered she was taking them to Cuddy. She walked past the assistant which gave her a nod to just go in. "Hello, Lisa."

"Hi Beth, so those are the papers? At least it doesn't look like too big of a stack, thank you for bringing them to me." Cuddy said as she cleared room on her desk to put them.

Beth walked over and put them on the desk, "you're welcome." She said and even though she'd planned to leave she just stood there thinking about the conversation she'd had with House.

"Did you want to talk about something?" Cuddy asked with a smile as she saw Beth's distant eyes finally focus and land on hers.

"Is Dr. House alright?" Beth asked with some worry.

Cuddy looked hesitant to say anything as she fiddled with her bracelet and moved her mouth some, then leaned back in her chair, "Why do you ask?" She asked with a grimace, afraid to hear what House had done that concerned Beth.

"He just... doesn't seem like himself. His eyes are lifeless and when we talked he seemed..." she couldn't think of a word that described it well. "I asked if he was happy to be out of the clinic and he said that it didn't matter, that all he did was fix people who went home to family and friends while he was left in pain and with no-one. The way he said it wasn't bitter or sad or cold, it was just," she sighed, " I guess casual would be the best way to describe it but, House is never that open about how he feels so it was worrisome."

Cuddy looked guilty and worried, "Did he seem to be in anymore pain than usual?"

"Maybe, he did mention being in pain several times. He even asked if I would let him go because standing was hurting him." Beth said and frowned as she noticed the guilty look coming from her boss. "You didn't switch out his pain meds for laxatives again, did you?"

"No! I only did that once and now that I've seen the kind of pain he lives in, there is no way on earth I'd ever do something like that again." Cuddy said adamantly.

"Then what are you beating yourself up about?" Beth asked.

Cuddy swallowed, "I think House... might be in love with me," she said giving Beth a worried look.

"Might? Lisa, you can't tell me that this comes as a surprise. The man hasn't let any woman close to him a decade and he finally starts dating you... of course his in love with you. Even before I realized he had feelings for you I knew the man was obsessed with you, everyone does. But you two aren't dating so what does that have to do with it?" Beth said still not understanding the problem.

Cuddy looked guilty, "I've been push him about it, because I really do miss dating him, and he's been letting in some." She looked at her bracelet as she fiddled with it. "Don't get me wrong Beth, I like House a lot and I have feelings for him. He's fun, smart, attractive and in the bed...he's like no one I've ever meet. He can be so sweet at times and he's not the emotionally numb person that people think he is, he's actually quite intuitive and sensitive about things. The problem is I'm not 'IN LOVE' with him, not that I'm saying I never would be... I'm just not there right now, and he is. He fights me so hard about us not dating or being physical and when I finally push him until he lets in, he's okay while it's happening but afterward he's more depressed and emotionally closed off. I'm hurting him."

Beth swallowed, "Lisa, could you ever see him being a father to Rachel?"

"I don't know, sometimes I can but other times I think that maybe he's just too... screwed-up to be a dad." Cuddy looked up at Beth, "I feel horrible saying that, it isn't his fault that he didn't have a good childhood or that so much has happened to him, it's just Rachel deserves the best. House has an eating disorder and trust issues that run so deep. He'd never be able to run and play with her or go to a father daughter dance and his pain is a constant battle for him." She looked back down, "Is it wrong for me to hold his handicap against him and how he was mistreated by his father against him, when it comes to looking at him as a father for my child?" She chewed her lips looking ashamed, "I keep thinking of all the times he's snapped because of his pain and thinking about if he did that to Rachel and then she ran out the door and he couldn't get to her and something terrible happened like she got hit by a car or we couldn't find her. When he does loose his temper or is too frustrated about something I've seen him make grown men run from him, what about a little girl?" She said looking up with moist eyes.

"Lisa," Beth said softly feeling bad for both Lisa and House, "there are no guarantees when it comes to stuff like this, you know that. Men who've come from great homes and seem perfectly fine end up going nuts one day and murdering their families and Rachel might be more tolerant and understanding of other people with handicaps if she were raised with a cripple father. But one thing you haven't even address is if he even wants to be a father."

"He does, he always has evidently," Cuddy said back.

Beth frowned, "Do you think he would ever physically hurt your daughter?"

"No, he's not like that," Cuddy said with confidence.

"Do you think he would love Rachel and accept her as his own?" Beth asked.

"Yes," Cuddy answered.

Beth sighed, "So he's in love with you, he'd never physically hurt your daughter and could very possibly love her as his own if given the opportunity, but you don't love him."

"I love him," Cuddy corrected, "I just don't think I love him enough."

Beth nodded and took a deep breath before speaking. "Then you should let him go. I respect you enough to tell you the truth Lisa, and it sounds like you're using Rachel as an excuse, instead of admitting that you don't ever think you'll be in love with him. Do you really want to be the woman that breaks his heart again? You saw how he handled it when Stacy left, the drinking, the withdrawing away from everyone but Wilson, and the misery it brought him. Lately he's been trying to cool things off between you for his own reason, so let him, don't push him until you have him and then dump him. He's been through a lot lately and still has a way to go, I'm not sure he'd be able to handle it, are you?"

"No," Cuddy answered with a sigh, "but I also don't want to go back to just being his boss either. I've learned so much about him in this time. He really isn't the man I had thought he was."

"You don't have too, you can still be his friend," Beth said back softly.

"That would be really hard to do given the sexual chemistry we have and our feeling for each other, but... it's worth a shot. Thank you Beth, I really do appreciate the talk," Cuddy said giving her a small smile.

"Anytime Lisa," Beth said with a soft smile and left.

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Wilson was sitting at his desk with his head resting in his hands as he continued to think about House's and his conversation this morning. He'd been thinking about it all day while seeing his patients and looking over charts, and yet here he still was contemplating it more. He at the new pill bottle sitting on his desk and sighed. It was the same anti-depressant House had been taking but a higher dose, not really high, just higher than the prescription House was currently taking. He didn't want to have to dose House up, but after this mornings argument he really didn't see a choice. He'd tried to get House's psychiatrist to talk to him on the phone this morning to tell her about House's recent behaviors, but she'd quickly cut him off telling him that it should be House's decision to share things with her, and that it would be inappropriate and defeat the purpose for her to listen anymore, then hung up. It had pissed Wilson off a good bit for her to dismiss him like she did. She didn't know House nearly as well as he did, they had share years of friendship and if she'd been worth a damn she would have considered that and listened to him. Then again, he wasn't even sure is House would go to therapy today. It was Thursday and he was scheduled to go, but considering his non-caring attitude and depression he would be surprised if House showed.

The more he looked at the bottle the more he convinced himself it wasn't wrong. He opened the bottle, taking out a pill and smashing it with his letter opener, then using his razor to make it into a fine powder. He jumped as he heard a knock, at first his heart beat raced afraid of being caught by House, but then he remembered, House would never knock. "Who is it?" he called out cautiously.

Cuddy was surprised by the question, "You're boss," she said back with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, come in," Wilson answered as he put the powder in a snack sized plastic bag.

Cuddy walked in and watched Wilson with curiosity, "What are doing?" she asked sitting down and picking up the bottle of pills before he could snatch them. Her eyes saddened some and then she tilted her head, "Why do you have House's anti-depressant medication, and why are you the prescribing doctor instead of his therapist?"

The corner of Wilson's mouth twitch, "He's depressed, which I would assume you would get by the name 'anti-depressants' and I'm his PCP, remember?" he said back a little defensively.

Cuddy looked up at him unamused by his insults when her eye saw the bag full of powder that he quickly put in his pocket and her eyes glared on his, "You're planning on dosing him?"

Wilson frowned, "If that's what I have to do, then I'll do it," he said as his shoulders slumped some, then he remembered his plan with Cuddy and gave her a pleading look. "But it doesn't have to be this way, not if you helped. I was thinking that maybe you could invite House over for dinner, just you, Rachel, and him. If everything went well then maybe he wouldn't feel like there was no hope, maybe he'd start coming back to life instead of being this empty shell." He said with some light in his eyes.

Cuddy twisted her mouth around as she frowned, "I don't think that's possible."

"Why not? You just went on a date with him last weekend and from what I **saw** you two seemed to have a pretty good time." Wilson stated with a smirk and slightly accusing eyes.

Cuddy felt her cheeks get red, both from being embarrassed and mad. Who was Wilson to tell her what she should and should not do with House? "And that's the very reason he's so depressed right now Wilson. This is hurting him more than it's helping, and I can't do this to him anymore," she said with her own glare.

Wilson laughed a manic, crazy laugh at her statement as he looked at her with wild eyes, "Are you just now getting that? I've been telling you that all along... and now... you're announcing it to me like I'm supposed to be... surprised? How many times have I asked to you respect his wishes and leave the man alone, but you've just kept on and on and on." He said in a dark low voice and then his eyes narrowed on her. "What I don't understand is why now?"

"I just... I didn't realize it was really hurting him before," she swallowing as she looked out the window.

"That's not it," he said watching her closely, "if there is one thing you aren't Lisa, it's stupid."

Cuddy looked back at him trying to sit tall, "There isn't a future for us, deep down I think I always knew that, but it wasn't until I saw him this depressed that I really evaluated it. For now I think it's best we're just friends, and maybe later if he wants we'll give it another shot." She said wishing she didn't feel so bad about this.

Wilson leaned over his desks some, toward her. "Why do you think it doesn't have a future?"

Cuddy blinked as her eyes moistened, "Because I don't love him enough, and given our history, I don't completely trust him either."

Wilson stood up as he felt a rage inside him. "You don't trust HIM! After what YOU did to HIM... and YOU don't TRUST HIM?!" He said with disgust and then let out a frustrated sigh as she looked moments away from tears. "I don't even know why I'm mad or even surprised. It's been obvious from the beginning of this that you didn't love him as much as he loved you, I guess I just hoped that with time that might change." He said looking down at his desk with slumped shoulders, "He deserves to be loved as much as he loves you."

"I know he does," she said with a pained voice.

He fell down in his chair looking at her with a little compassion, "At least right now he's been trying to just be friends, maybe he won't notice too much if you stop pressing the issue. Maybe he'll just think that you're trying to respect his wishes."

"That's what I'm hoping for," Cuddy said honestly.

Wilson nodded, "Lisa, I don't know what to do for him right now. He's spiraling down a dark path and I've been wrecking my brain, trying to come up with something to help. The only thing I could come up with was dosing him."

She frowned, "James, I wish I had an answer for you." She said and thought about it some, "You could try fighting with him, sometimes getting him stirred up knocks him out of his moods."

"I've tried that, this morning actually, and it didn't work," he said with a sigh.

"Have you talked to his therapist?" Cuddy asked with genuine worry.

Wilson scoffed, "She refused to hear anything I said. She said that Greg would share with her what he was comfortable sharing and that unless he specifically said he was planning to kill himself, that it would be inappropriate to listen to me."

"Do you think he'll go to his session today?" She asked, having wondered the same question ever since her talk with House yesterday.

"I don't know, I'm not holding my breath though," he provided as he rubbed his forehead.

Cuddy chewed her lip some, "This is my fault, let me try to fix, at least get him to go to the therapy session." She suggested with a sad smile.

"You think you can convince him to go?" Wilson said looking up hopefully.

"I think it's worth a try," Cuddy said and with that she was gone.

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Cuddy marched into House's office, she didn't have a plan, but he didn't need to know that. She pushed away the last couple of months and tightened her jaw, she Dr. Lisa Cuddy among her most proud accomplishments was being able to control and manage Dr. House. She stopped a good six feet in front of his desk and narrowed her eyes on him. "Are you done," she said harshly.

House looked over his spectacles at her since he'd been reading a new medical journal. "No, but it doesn't look like that's going to stop you."

She scoffed, "I'm not talking about the reading House. I'm talking about this pathetic pity party you've been throwing."

House looked slightly taken back by her harshness, it was as if nothing had happened between them. "I don't know what you're talking about." He said looking back down at the journal and pushing back the feelings.

Cuddy twisted her mouth as she watched him, "You know damn well what I'm talking about!"

"It's been nice chatting with you Li...Cuddy, but I've got some reading to do, so if you could show yourself the way out," he stated.

She was starting to really wonder if this would work, but she had to try. She walked to the side of him and yanked the journal from his hands. "You know what you are now House?" she asked with condescension

House looked up, "Well if I took anything from you're earlier statement it would be that I'm pathetic, right?"

Cuddy leaned down, her bosom in his face and gave him a challenging smile, "No, it's much worse than that, you're boring House." She whispered slowly to him.

House frowned as his eyes looked to be thinking about this, "You're... boring," he said back lamely as he was still thinking.

She scoffed, "Even your comebacks are dull. It's funny really, all those years you were afraid people would see you as pathetic and no one did, but now... like this?" she said gesturing to him, "who wouldn't find you pathetic. Is that what you want House? You want people to **pity** you and feel sorry for poor poor Greg who doesn't care about anything because the world isn't fair?!"

House narrowed his eyes on her, "I don't want anyone's pity or sympathy or anything, just leave me alone."

Cuddy stood up straight looking down to see barely a flicker of life in the man, "Then act like a man and quit wallowing in you despair like a wounded animal or some high school teen."

House's jaw tightened, "I'm not acting like..."

Cuddy cut him off, "Oh yes you are House. I get it, life hasn't been picture perfect for you, but giving up and pretending there is nothing that can be done is childish and stupid, and honestly I thought it was beneath you. You're a doctor, you know there is help."

House looked down, "Why do you care if I get help?" he said softly.

Cuddy swallowed, as she watched him, "Because I care about you, along with Wilson and your team, but even beyond that, I care about your career."

House looked up at her with confused interest, "What does this have to do with my career?"

"House, what makes you the best doctor is your passion and determination, without it you're smart, but you won't be as good. These last cases have been fairly easy, but what's going to happen when you get a really hard one?" Cuddy said with a raised eyebrow, "There are so many cases you figured out only as the patient was hours away from death after pulling two all nighters. You might not have all the things that many of your colleagues have had Greg like a normal childhood or a family, but there is one thing you have that no one else in the world has, and that's your reputation in the medical community. Not only will your patients start dying if you don't do something about this, so will Dr. Gregory House, the worlds best diagnostician! Personally, after how hard I've seen you push yourself for your work, I think it would be a shame to lose something so valuable over some depression. You've always been a brilliant man, don't stop now. Get help." She said giving him one last determined look before walking out.

House swallowed as he thought about what she'd said. Diagnostic's wasn't even a field until House had come to work for Cuddy, she'd been flabbergasted along with most of the other doctors when he'd solved some of the cases that seemed impossible. He'd been doing his specialties along with every other doctor and then one day Cuddy called him into her office and pitched the idea to him of creating a Diagnostics Department. House had thought she was joking but after she showed him some paperwork and said she'd want HIM to be head of the department, he'd agreed. At first he just got cases from in the hospital that the other doctors couldn't figure out and then she had him go to conventions to explain what the Diagnostics department was about. He'd been in the middle of a awkward speak about it when the crowd started in on him, that's when Cuddy stepped in to defend him and another doctor said House was full of shit and that if he was that good then he wouldn't mind proving it. Surprisingly the convention made room the next day for verbal test, where House and nine other doctors competed to be the first to figure out 12 of the hardest cases in the world and House smoked them. He'd figured them all out in a matter of minutes per case, with Cuddy standing behind him with a hand on his shoulder and smile. Since that day he'd been legendary in the medical community. There were even colleges asking him to create a curriculum so that they could create a degree specializing in Diagnostics.

House sighed deeply, giving into his depression had felt easy, considering that he had felt like he didn't anything left to fight for, but his reputation as doctor wasn't something he'd ever considered. He'd been the best for so long, the one person who could figure out what all the others missed, that the idea of losing that had really never crossed his mind. But Cuddy was right, it wasn't something had managed by leaving at five every night or by not caring about the case... and even the patient, not that he would admit that. He felt his sinuses tingle as he honestly felt like crying, because fighting the depression with therapy and pill was going to be hard considering what was going on. His head dropped just thinking about the seemingly endless battle ahead of him. What new ways would he discover he was screwed up, and would he ever really learn to cope in better ways? The eating disorder really hadn't been fixed in any way, he'd just kept on with what he was doing, like putting a band-aid on broken bone – knowing that in time he'd have a lot of work to do. He looked at his watch to see it was already one and figured he might as well find Wilson so they could get something to eat before going to his session.


	85. Chapter 85: Forgiving is Hard to Do

Wilson was watching as House was eating his enchiladas across the table. House rolled his eyes and looked back at him, "What is it?"

"Nothing," Wilson said and took a bite of his own food then looked back to House.

House took a few more bites then glanced up to see Wilson watching him again. "Seriously? Tell me why you're staring at me like I grew two heads or something."

Wilson sighed, "I was just wondering what made you want to go to therapy if you don't care about anything?"

House looked back at his plate, "Cuddy reminded me of something I didn't want to lose," he answered and went back to his meal. Three minutes passed, "I swear Wilson if you don't stop staring at me I'm going to poke out your eyes in the middle of the night," he growled not even looking at him.

Wilson swallowed, "What was it that you were afraid to lose?" He asked looking down at his food in an attempt not to irritate House anymore than he was.

"My virginity!" House said a little loud because he was frustrated at being given the third degree. He saw a table full of ladies look at him skeptically. "I know he doesn't look like much," he said tilting his head toward Wilson, "but the girth on him is like a coke bottle and I've seen the chains he has on his bed." He said rubbing the scar on his neck.

The woman looked at his neck with horrid expressions and then over to Wilson with disgust. Wilson tried to smile even though his face was completely red, "He's just joking," he said then looked to House with glaring eyes, "tell them you're just joking."

House swallowed giving the girls a scared look, "I was just... 'joking'." He said letting his eyes fall some at the end and then coward as he looked to Wilson, "I'm sorry, please don't chain me up again. I did good right? I'm your good boy and good boys don't get the whip, right?" He asked with worry and fear on his face, but a small glint in his eye.

Wilson could feel the glares of the woman and looked back at them. "He's just having some fun with me, do I look like the kind of guy that would do hurt anyone? And I'm not even into guys, I'm dating a beautiful woman... really." He said as they didn't look convinced, "I swear I've never laid a ..(CRASH)" He looked back to see a waiter looking embarrassed as he tried to clean up the contents of the dropped tray and then looked to House. "Hey, hey it's fine," he said softly. "House... you okay?"

House's eyes were large and unfocused, his mouth hanging open and his arms gripping the arms of the chair in a death grip as they shook some and he took rapid breaths. Wilson got up and walked to the side of him and put a hand on his arm, but House jerked away from his touch, "No... no don't..." he said and closed his eyes as he tried to calm down.

Wilson walked back to his chair and saw the ladies get up to leave.

"Your a sick man," one said as she passed. "How can you look at yourself in a mirror," another spat, and the third one walked past him and put a business card in front of House. "You don't have to live this way, call if you ever need help," she said softly too him, then looked at Wilson. "You'll get caught one of these days and I hope I'm the one to haul your ass in," she said with a glare then left.

Wilson rolled his eyes and looked down at the card that was in front of House from the sexual victims unit and sighed. "Great, thanks a lot House," he said and looked to see him looking a bit sick. "You alright?" he asked softly. House pulled out his bag from his pocket and looked through the pills to pick out a little yellow one and chewed it as he looked up. Wilson recognized it as one of the nausea pills and frowned, the last thing he wanted was for House to lose his stomach. "Hey, I think they believed you, you should go into acting." He said trying to lighten the mood.

House half smirked and half grimaced, "You really think they believed me."

"Oh yeah, and one of them even left her card, who knows, she might be the one," Wilson teased.

House swallowed and picked up the card. "SVU, can you imagine how dinner conversation about work would be?" He said glancing at Wilson.

Wilson grimaced, "Okay, maybe she isn't the one."

House chuckled lightly and his eyes softened on Wilson, "My career and reputation in the medical community, that's what Cuddy reminded me of that I didn't want to lose."

"Oh," Wilson said back and wondered why he hadn't thought of that, "well, whatever the reason is, I'm glad you've decided to keep on trying." He said and House nodded then took the rest of the medications and continued his meal.

111111111111111

Dr. Ryan smiled as she opened the door to see House walking in on the crutches. "Well it's nice to see you walking Greg."

House nodded walking past her and then falling in his chair with a soft thud. "I think I might need a higher dose of anti-depressants," he said watching as she walked over to her chair with a notebook in hand.

"Wow, I guess I was wrong," she said with a raised brow and explained at the curious look on House's face. "Usually first time patients stop taking their meds at the first sign of progress, I'm impressed."

House looked down some, "Well you weren't wrong," he said meeting her eyes. "I stopped taking them after our last session and the depression has worsened. I'm not sure if it's was the pills or just me thinking more about the situation I'm in, but I figured a higher dose couldn't hurt."

Dr. Ryan raised an eyebrow and smiled at his refreshing honesty, "Considering how low of a dose you're on I think that would be a step in the right direction. How is the walking coming?"

"The pain is pretty bad at times and I get tired quicker than I did in the wheelchair, but that's to be expected." He said rubbing his right leg absently.

"What would you like to talk about today Greg?" She asked with a small smile.

House shrugged, "I don't know," he said with a heavy sigh.

Dr. Ryan could tell he looked more weathered, "Would you like to talk more about your fathers idea of discipline?"

"Not really," he said said rubbing his forehead.

She'd figured as much, "Then how about we talk about your time in the Marines."

House nodded, knowing that there really wasn't a good conversation to be had. "I was in the Marines for eight years, from the age of 16 to 24. My father sighed me up against my will."

Dr. Ryan looked at her notes, "So you never wanted to be in the Marines?"

"I wanted to be in the Marines for a long time, that's what all the training was suppose to be for, until..." he sighed looked at the pieces of paper he'd given her that were in the note book, "the last lesson."

She swallowed knowing this was hard for him to talk about and not wanting to push to much, "Greg, what about the last lesson changed your mind about the Marines?"

"The only reason I'd wanted to be in the Marines is because I wanted to be like my father, but after he did that, and still tried to pretend it was 'part of a lesson'..." He shook his head and closed his eyes. "I knew then I didn't want to be anything like him."

Dr. Ryan wished he would just say what his father did out loud, but could tell he wasn't ready yet, "Would you like a bottle of water?"

House opened his eyes to see her walking to a mini-refrigerator. "Um, yes," he said and she handed him a bottle with a soft smile. "Thanks," he said looking at the bottle.

She had the feeling he didn't say thank you's very often. "You're welcome Greg. So you no longer wished to go to the Marines but didn't have a choice."

He nodded and continued after taking a sip of the cool water. "To be honest I didn't think they'd take me. I was very malnourished when I went to my physical, weighed in at only one hundred-fifteen pounds and was only a couple of inches shorter than I am now. I guess my father had told them to put me through though, because I made it in, even with all the scars. Even though I was dreading it when my first day of basics came, I have to say I really enjoyed it."

"Why is that?" Dr. Ryan asked with interest, from what she'd heard basics in the Marine Corps was hell on earth.

House's smirked, "It was better than home. I was use to the exercise regiments and got to eat more food then I'd ever had. It wasn't until basics that I ever remembered feeling full." He frowned the more that statement seemed to soak into him. "Anyways, my father wasn't there either which made things nice, and the training I'd done had put me so far a head of the class it felt like break compared to life at home," he said honestly.

She wondered if he really comprehended how worrisome it was that basics in the hardest branch of the military was better than home, "Did you make friends?"

He shook his head, "Not with the other soldiers, they were more than a little pissed to be shown up by someone who looked like the runt, but after sometime I made friends with the commanding officer. His name is Tucker O'Neil and he took an interest in me for some reason."

"You don't know why?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"I was top of my class and he knew my father, but I think he was drawn to me because I was mystery to him. He thought he had me figured out when he first saw me standing in front of him but when I surpassed what he'd expected, he became intrigued, at least that's my theory." House said with a smile.

She smiled back, "That's a good look for you," she said and watched as he looked at his clothes, "the smile. I haven't seen many of those from you, except when you were joking with Wilson. How close did you and Mr. O'Neil get?"

"Pretty close, he's probably the first person other than my mother that I completely trusted. I would take my leave when he did and stay with his family." House said and looked away, "His family wasn't anything like my family. No one was afraid. His wife has a hard shell but she warmed up to me pretty fast, she'd come from and abusive family..." he left off the 'too'. "She never really pressed me too hard to talk, but she'd talk to me about her past and how she'd made peace with it, and she understood why I did somethings that others didn't." He frowned, "I miss her. He had two daughters that were a couple years younger than me and we had fun together. I don't think I'd ever played until they showed me how, and I had my first crush on the one closest to my age. She stole my first kiss." He said with small smile.

Dr. Ryan was happy that he seemed more relaxed. "Stole?"

"Yeah, we were laying on a blanket in the yard at night. She'd said she wanted to learn about the stars and constellations, and since I took an astrology class I offered to teach her. So after pointing a few out some constellations I was talking to her about what stars are made of and then she kissed me." He explained.

"How old were you?" She asked.

"Twenty-two," he answered with some awkwardness.

She gave him a knowing look and he looked away. She knew pushing him to talk about it wouldn't help, he need to want to talk about it. "What did you do?"

House let out a relieved sigh that she wasn't pressuring him to talk about why he'd never kissed any until then, "I freaked out. I was staying at her family's house and I didn't want her father to think I was up to something, so I told him what happened. He found it all very funny but when he found out it was my first kiss, he.. he talked to me as if I were a son. He is really good man."

"Did you make any other friends in the service?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"No, not really. I knew a lot of people, and about everyone knew me, but they were acquaintances. The most I might have done was have a beer with a couple of them at the bar, but even that was rare. I choose to stick to my own for the most part, it seemed to make the most sense because people died so often." He said flatly.

She nodded, "I'm sure you saw a lot of death during your time being a medic."

House raised an eyebrow, "I wasn't a medic."

Dr. Ryan tilted her head in confusion, "Oh, it's just with your interest in the medical field and already having your bachelors degree I assumed you were." She said and swallowed, "So, what did you do during your time with the Marines."

"I did what I was paid to do, which for the most part was killing people. See that's what the military service is, the governments hitman. They don't go advertising it that way but when it really comes down to it soldier are paid to kill people that someone deems to be a threat, sometime without even proof that they are. I started as a soldier but within two years I was running my own team. My last three years I was offered a chance to do solo," he twisted his mouth as he found the right wording, "intelligence research, and I took it."

She analyzed him with with questioning eyes, "And what exactly does that mean?"

House narrowed his eyes on her, "Do you know what the word classified means?" He asked and then smiled in a joking manner, "because it sounds like you're asking me to talk about things the government told me was illegal to talk about."

Dr. Ryan gave him a small smile, "Cute, but you don't come across a the guy who follows orders."

He scoffed, "Well I was then, I did whatever I was told to do. Kill these men, take out this team, burn this village," he said his eyes getting darker with each word. "I was the perfect soldier, great with a gun, strong as an ox, better and faster than the medics, never disobeyed an order, raised to resist interrogation, and I got over being a POW as fast as most people get over a bad date. My father was... proud, I'm still not sure if he was proud of me, or himself for all the 'hard work' he did with me, either way it didn't bring us closer." House said in low voice with a distant stare.

She could see the pain and anger in his eyes, "Did you want it too?"

"Did I want murdering people to bring my father and me closer? No. Like I said after the last lesson I wanted to be as far away from him as possible, there are somethings that just can't be forgiven." He said looking down.

Dr. Ryan leaned toward him, "Did he ever ask to be forgiven?"

House swallowed hard looking down as his eyes moistened, "No, evidently he didn't think he had anything to apologize for," he said feeling just as bad for never being apologized to as he did about what was done. He shook the memory from his mind, " Anyways, back to the topic at hand, being in the Marines sucked. I killed people, I saw men under my command die, and collected more scars, there alright." He said harshly.

She gave him a minute to breath, "Greg, correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you're mad that we're talking about this. I think you're angry that you had no choice and you were forced to become a person you never wanted to be." She said softly and watched as he met her eyes without a rebuttal. "I know this is going to be hard to hear but you're not a murderer Greg," she said and saw his face contort as he tried to control his emotions and shook his head. "I know you blame yourself and you believe in accountability but you didn't have a choice about this." She sighed as he shook his head hard. "GREG, YOU DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE," she said louder and with more conviction and swallowed as he stopped shaking his head. "You can't be held accountable when you were forced to do something. If a man put a gun to my head and told me to shoot you, and I did, would you blame me?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"Assuming I lived," he started and licked his lips, "no, but that's different."

"How? At least I'm an adult, you were just a child." She reasoned with him and could see him thinking about her words. "You didn't enjoy it, and if you hadn't done what you did, you'd be dead and so would the men that were fighting for you or on your side. Do you really think less people would have died over all if you'd just put down your weapon or that all war would have ceased?"

House let out a deep sigh, "No," he answered.

"Then allow yourself to be forgiven, not for what you are, but for what you had to do Greg," Dr. Ryan said softly.

He shook his head softly, "I can't, there's no one to forgive me, I don't believe in God," he said brokenly.

The man before her broke her heart, "From the only person who ever held it against you, you. Forgive yourself for surviving."

"I... don't know.. how," House said as he looked at her with moist eyes.

Dr. Ryan got up and walked over too him keeping eye contact. "You deserved to lived just as much as they did, Greg, if not more so."

"There's no proof of that, what if I didn't deserve to live," he asked imploringly.

She felt her eyes moisten at his question and the sadness in his eyes, "You're a man of facts, so do the numbers. How many men did you kill and then compare that to how many you've saved, starting with your own men during the military until now."

House did the numbers, "I've saved over 20 people to every person I've killed, but.." he closed his eyes, "it still doesn't feel like it's enough."

"And it never will until you wake up and realize that you're no worse than anyone else. Everyone you killed, had killed or would have if given the opportunity and tell me Greg, besides the killings in the Marines, what else have you done so bad?" Dr. Ryan asked.

He frowned, "I'm an ass."

She smiled a little at his 'horrible' crime against humanity, "Oh no, I didn't realize you could be an ass, just like everyone else. I should call the police and have you put away." She teased.

"I use and take advantage of Wilson," House said with serious face.

"No you don't, you lean on him and depend on him, you just have issues with it because you didn't have any kind of a support system as a child and the people you depended on hurt you." Dr. Ryan said softly.

"My mother never laid a hand on me," House said with a warning tone and look.

She nodded, "I'm sure she didn't, not even to hold you," she said giving him worried look.

He glared at her as his chin shook as his emotions seemed to boil over, "She loved me!" he said in a deep firm voice.

"I'm sure she did and still does, but I doubt he allowed her to show you much affection, because then she might find out what your father was doing to you, am I wrong?" Dr. Ryan asked her eyes searching his.

House shook his head, "No... he rarely even allowed us to be alone together in the same room," he said with a hard sigh.

"Greg, I know you don't believe in God, but there is a certain amount of balance in the world. To kill someone is a horrible act and I understand it effects more than the person who dies, it effects their family and friends too, and you should feel something for that. At the same time though, you've saved lives and you've suffered." She looked down at his leg, "The pain you've been forced to live with by the infarction and the guilt over what you did, it's enough Greg."

He looked down at his leg and chewed on his lip some, "You make it sound easy to just... let it go. To stop hating yourself for things you did over two decades ago, but it isn't. Maybe you're right, but I still don't know how to put that shame and guilt to rest."

Dr. Ryan stood up and put an hand on his shoulder, "I never said it would be easy." She said with a smile, "First thing you need to do is to let go of the view you have of yourself because it isn't realistic. I would like for you to do an exercise for me. I want for you, Wilson, Cuddy and your team to write a good vs. bad list of you. I'll give you my fax number and they can fax theirs in, so they don't have to worry about retribution from you, and you can bring yours next session. I think looking at what you think of yourself and the people you see the most could help you to get a more accurate view of yourself." She saw him look around nervously, "Do you think you could do that for me?"

"You might not be so understanding after you see what other people think of me. There are reason's I'm not popular or even liked." House said honestly.

She was betting he'd be surprised by the results, "I'm not here to judge you Greg, I'm here to help you. Have I treated you different since you told me you'd killed people?"

He nodded as he thought about it. "Okay, I'll do the exercise. I'm pretty sure my team already knows I've been going to therapy sessions anyway."

Dr. Ryan gave him a smile and grabbed her prescription pad then scribbled out a higher dose medication. "Here you go and Greg, I know it might not feel like it, but you're really doing very well with the therapy. I'm proud of you."

House swallowed hard, those weren't words he'd heard that often in his life. "Well, I guess that's it then," he said as he kept thinking about what she'd said.

"That's it, you can go and I look forward to seeing you next time," she said realizing that she'd hit some nerve with him when she'd expressed she was proud of him.

He stood up and started on the way out, but stopped a couple of feet from the door and his head lowered some, "Did you mean what you said about me doing good and stuff," he asked staring at the carpet in front of the door.

Dr. Ryan watched him with interest, "Yes," she answered simply back.

"But I stopped taking my anti-depressants and honestly I almost didn't come today," House said moving his head to the side some and glancing at her with his head still down.

She smiled warmly, "But you did come and the session was progressive, you even realized that you might want to try a higher dose anti-depressant."

He scoffed softly, "A friend helped to realize that and pushed me to try, if she hadn't talked to me today, I probably wouldn't be here," he said looking back at the carpet.

"That only makes me more proud of you Greg," Dr. Ryan said and watched as his eyes met her with confusion. "Everyone has bumps in therapy, but the fact you actually listened to a friend who thinks you deserve better than to be miserable and then accepted that you might actually deserve that too, that's huge for you." She said with an encouraging look, "No one expects you to be perfect Greg, except you and probably your father. It's how you handle the bumps that really makes a person what they are, without them life would be boring."

House smiled some, it reminded him of something he'd say. "You know, you aren't bad for a Psychiatrist," he said while rolling his eyes with smirk.

"Well Greg, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," she said back with a humorous laugh.

He smiled and opened the door, "Don't go spreading that around, I still have a reputation to up hold," he said and left.

Wilson followed after him on the way out anxiously, "So, how was it?" He asked.

House glanced at Wilson as he walked to the car, "How was what?"

Wilson sighed, "House could you for once give me a break and just answer the question," he pleaded.

House smirked a little, "But then I wouldn't be me," he reminded him. Wilson rubbed his hands over his eyes while exhaling deeply before unlocking the car and getting in and House decide to cut the guy a break before he had a heart attack or nervous breakdown. "You mind stopping by the pharmacy before we go back, I need to get this filled." He said and put the prescription in the cup holders.

Wilson picked it up and his eyes got big as he read it and realized it was the exact same prescription that he'd gotten to dose House. "So, she thought you should go to a higher dose anti-depressant."

"No, I did, and apparently so did you," he said with a knowing looking.

Wilson swallowed hard, "So Cuddy told you," he said as he started the car.

"Wait, Cuddy knew? I'll have to get her back for not telling me, the wench." House said with a evil glint in his eye then rose an eyebrow as he looked at Wilson. "No, she didn't need to tell me. I know you enough to know that even if I give up on myself your Saint Wilson complex wouldn't allow you to give up on me... and I could taste it in the cheese sauce. Just a pointer, next time you plan to dose someone at a Mexican food restaurant, put it in the salsa. The stronger flavors mask the taste better, and then you don't have to accidentally spit coke on the person so they will go to the restroom. You can do it just like everyone else does, by palming the powder and then mixing it in with a large chip that will also work as cover when you make the drop."

Wilson glanced at House as he drove and noticed he didn't look mad. "Sorry I disappointed you with my technique, I thought about asking you for advice on how to drug up a friend, but then I thought you might get suspicious."

House smiled at the idea of Wilson asking him as they pulled into the drive-thru of Walgreen's. Wilson handed the lady his prescription to get filled. "Dr. Ryan wants me to get you, Cuddy, and the rest of my team to write a good vs. bad list of me." He said as he watched for Wilson's reaction.

Wilson was surprised, "Wow, and you agreed?"

House shrugged, "She thinks I don't have a realistic view of myself, I think she doesn't realize that my view of myself isn't much different from how others see me. If I do her little exercise then one of us will be proved wrong."

"And you think it will be her," Wilson said knowingly.

House nodded, "I know what people think of me and it's not like I've ever tried to change that. I don't conform to the polite lies and I handle telling people the truth with as much grace as a bull in a china cabinet. People don't like me, they just need me for my work, I accepted that along time ago."

Wilson didn't really think that House had a clue as to how other saw him. "So, do we give them to you when we're done?"

"No, she wants them faxed in," House answered.

Wilson nodded as he grabbed the pill bottle that was handed to him, "What would you do if she ended up being right?"

"She wont," House said simply.

"But if she was?" Wilson pushed.

House thought about it while looking at the window, "I don't know," he finally said softly.


	86. Chapter 86: House makes a Rule

**Hey everyone, well some decisions have been made. I will no longer be using a beta reader, unless someone reading this want's to be my beta reader and can promise me that they can get my work to me promptly. I love having a beta reader, but unfortunately I'm too anxious to wait longer than a week to get my work back to me so I can post it. This might be a hobby to some writers but to me it's therapeutic for me, and the anxiety I get from waiting over a month to get my work compromises the therapy. I hope all of you enjoy the chapters, they will be coming up a lot more frequently and I'm excited to hear what you think of** **them. **

_Dear Guest,_

_To be honest, I really think that the scene at the Mexican restaurant was the closest to something I could see in the actual show. House pushes jokes, to the point that from an outside view they're taken completely out of context and in very serious way at times. * I have always assumed this was because it was a way for him to make light of more serious issues he has, therefore to reassure him self that his bigger issues aren't that serious.* I'm sorry that you have known someone that was effected negatively by such behavior, but at the same time in most cases the opposite is true. Most people's lives aren't effected by hear-say and jokes, and the real victims of such gruesome abuse are never helped out of fear for talking, or believing that the somehow deserve it. Take the irony about the 'joking' House did at the restaurant with Wilson and then compare that to the boy who was constantly made to lie saying 'everything's fine' after having bones broken by his father and hopefully you can see how I explain one of the odd quirks about House's character. I hope you don't take offence to this, but the point I am trying to get across, is that while I'm not saying that this behavior in House isn't good/desirable, I have researched it and there could be several real reasons for such an issue, other than him just being an ass. As for Wilson being such a good friend... while he means well, he asked House to put his life on the line for a girl he'd been dating for a couple of months,and has forced him to detox cold turkey quite a few time, all which could have KILLED him. Hurting a reputation vs. DEATH... is that really a question, especially from someone in the Medical field who knows exactly how dangerous those things could be? I hope this doesn't discourage you from writing reviews, to be honest I enjoy being able to explain more of the concepts about the psychological profile of my House, and I like seeing how well my vision is coming across. Obviously I wasn't clear enough in my writing about the concept that I was trying to push, but now you have given me the opportunity to explain myself and to realize I need to work on my writing more. Glad to have you reading and I look forward to hearing what you think of my writing in the future._

_Thanks for the in-depth review,_

_Nicole_

House limped into the hospital with his crutches and was on his way to the elevator when Cameron suddenly stepped in front of him. He stopped managing to barely brush against her before he pulled back and appraised her with irritation, "Cripple walking here, now get out of my way," House said harshly.

Cameron didn't back down though as her eyes scanned him over and then twisted her mouth, "You're screwing with them, aren't you?" She asked with accusation.

House looked both confused and irritated, "What the hell are you talking about?" he barked at her like she was a crazy woman.

"You faking cancer was one thing," she said sticking her finger in his chest as she spoke, "but faking a deep depression to the point they think you're suicidal is below the belt, even for you!" She said loudly with disgust.

House's eyes widen as he felt a rush of embarrassment that he's depression had been that obvious.

Wilson had stopped as soon as he realized House wasn't beside him and was outraged by her accusation, "You don't know what you're talking about, now back off." He said softly in an angry voice as he noticed there were already a lot of people watching the production.

"I WILL NOT LOWE..." Cameron was yelling but got interrupted.

"Dr. Cameron! In my office, NOW!" Cuddy said holding her door open as she shot daggers at the woman. Cameron scoffed with irritation but walked into the office and Cuddy gave them a sympathetic look before she went in too.

House's eyes were darting to all the people staring at him and he quickly lowered his head as he started for the elevator again, hearing the whispers along the way about how you have to have feelings to suffer depression.

"You alright?" Wilson whispered while looking around at the people staring, but of course House didn't answer. Wilson glared at a nurse who'd joked about what a relief it would be to the entire hospital if House jumped off the building. They boarded the elevator and House had the buttons pressed before Wilson got the chance. When the doors closed a dead silence filled the space and Wilson looked to House who was wearing his trusty mask with a tight jaw. "House are you..." he began but was cut off.

"Was it you?" House said in a dangerously low voice.

Wilson swallowed as House refused to look at him instead burning holes through the elevator doors. "Was what me?"

"Did you tell her!?" House barked as his glare fixed on Wilson.

"No," Wilson said quickly as he too was wondering how she find out and then his eyes softened as he remembered House's team talking to Chase about the depression in the cafeteria yesterday.

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "You know something," he said.

Wilson met House's dark eyes and swallowed, "I saw your team talking to Chase in the cafeteria yesterday and they voiced concern to me about you. She must of heard about it from Chase." He said and was worried at anger he saw in the man's face as the elevator doors opened. "Hey they were..." Wilson paused as House was moving at an incredibly fast pace for a man without a good let to stand on and ran after him. "They're worried House, don't take this out on them," he said as he followed House to the door of the DDX room where his team was sitting at the table.

House stood in the doorway and glared down at Wilson, "I need to talk to my team alone."

"House, please.." Wilson said softly but House leaned down his dark eyes seeming to stop Wilson's words in their track.

"GET OUT!" He said in a deep angry voice.

Wilson stepped back from the harsh words and watched as House closed the door behind himself and then locked it along with pulling the blinds closed that covered it. He swallowed as he looked at the team who seem to be finding this all slightly interesting and walked away to his office.

House kept his face neutral as he looked at his team and Chase, "I want all the blinds closed to this room now," he said in a commanding tone, "and I want you in my office. I need to talk to my team alone, and then I need to talk to you." He said with a darker tone.

Chase looked confused as he stood up and the rest of the team started closing the blinds as they exchanged worried glances. "Why do you need to talk to me?" Chase asked.

House narrowed his eyes on the man, "You'll find out soon enough, now go in my office and I'll be with you as soon as I'm done with them," he said darkly.

Chase looked to the team to see that they looked just as confused and scared as he felt. Chase straighten himself and squared his shoulders, "You might still have the authority to tell them what to do, but not me. I don't work for you anymore, remember? You fired me." He said back refusing to let House see that he was actually scared.

House walked up to the Chase in a challenging way and was only slightly impressed that the man didn't move back. They were almost touching, "You've been running those gossiping little lips about me and for the moment I'm willing to handle that with just some talking in my office." He said watching as the confidence fell from Chase's face and fear was on it. "You know me Chase, do you really want me to have to handle this in another way? In a more public, more embarrassing way?" House asked with a snarl.

Chase took a step back, he'd never really seen House angry. Frustrated – yes, irritated – millions of times, even pissed a couple of times but not seething from anger. He swallowed, "I'll be in your office," he said as his accent was more pronounced.

"I thought you'd see it my way," House said as he watching Chase walk into his office and close the door behind him. He then looked at the team that was looking more and more anxious, even Foreman looked scared. House took a deep breath to help him not lose control. "This is partly my fault and partly your fault," he said as his nostrils flared some, "I've been too lacks on you but that's going to change." He waited to see if anyone would be stupid enough to actually refute what he was saying and when he saw Taub's mouth open he looked at him with a warning glare and Taub shrank back in his chair and closed his mouth.

"I've never been big on rules, maybe I had to many as a child or maybe I was STUPID enough to think that we're all adults here and therefore didn't need them but YOU'VE," House said loudly with venom, "forced me to implement one." He said as he felt his face flush from his anger. "There will no talking about me outside of this office! IS THAT CLEAR!?" House bellowed.

Everyone looked surprised as they looked to each other, wondering what someone could have said and to whom that would get House this upset.

House leaned heavily on his left crutch as he lifted the right one up and slammed it against the metal back of an empty chair. The loud bang got them all to look at the chair and then back at him. "Thanks so much for giving me your undivided attention!" He said back with a snarl. "I've never been naïve enough to think we were all friends, but I at least thought there was a basic amount of respect we held for each other, but I guess I was wrong." Everyone looked more confused and Taub rolled his eyes which only pushed House more. "You got something to say TAUB, please share with the class!"

"I just don't recall you ever treating us with respect," Taub said, truly believing it.

House literally growled as he let out breath of air and narrowed his eyes on the man. "Why? Because I call you morons, idiots, and make fun of your ridiculous religions, relationships and everything else I find out about you?"

"Yes," Taub answered back, but with less confidence that his previous statement.

"I've never denied being an ass, but I do it all in HERE," he said stomping his right crutch on the floor, "in this room, and if it ever leaves this room it's only around US!" He said loudly and then suddenly he became very tired and slumped some as he held himself up with the crutches. He hated how much it hurt, how much it meant to him. "I don't go around telling personal things about any of you to the rest of the Hospital staff," he said looking up. "I never told anyone about Foreman's criminal record, or that Thirteen has Huntingtons, or that Kutner's parents where shot in front of him and he was raised by a white family or that YOU," he said with some disgust, "only took this job because you can't stop cheating on your wife."

"You haven't," Foreman said a little surprised.

"NO!" House barked back, "Because what we share in here is private, like a screwed-up family. Yes we bicker and irritate each other from time to time, but at the same time there isn't one of you that hasn't come to me for advice on something personal before." He said and sighed, "As many hours as we work together it's impossible for us not to learn things about each other that the rest of the hospital doesn't know. I know I've maybe pushed some issues out into the open that some of you wanted to hide, but I don't believe secrets have a place in a family, and... until today that's what I thought we had... but maybe I was wrong." House said with disappointment.

"You're not," Foreman said back strongly. He didn't see House as a father or brother or anything like that, but he did some how feel like they were bonded, not just him and House, but the entire team.

House met his eye and felt both comforted and angered by his words. "Then WHY was I assaulted by Cameron on my way back into the hospital? Why was SHE yelling about my depression in front of the WHOLE hospital, when I haven't even seen her in weeks?"

Everyone paled some as they realized, finally, what this was about, and all but Foreman looked down at the table. "We only talked to Chase about it, we've been worried House." Foreman said truthfully.

House swallowed as he could tell Foreman meant it, "Then you should have voiced you're concerns to me, not him." He said calmer, while motioning to the closed door with his head. "Have you ever known me to leave something alone, with any of you, if I'm concerned or worried about it?"

"No," Foreman answered as some guilt came into his face.

House nodded and looked at the team as a whole, "I know I ask you to do things that most other doctors wouldn't, or even department heads wouldn't, but I also cover your ass when you make mistakes, defend you to anyone, and let you do things no other department head would. I've listen to you call me cold, heartless, ass, obsessive, crazy and an idiot, and I didn't fire you. Hell I didn't even write you up. I've let you quit and come back, I've let you date each other (which is against office policies), and even given you second and third chances." He said standing a littler straighter as some of his strength seemed to come back to him. "From now on, I don't expect anything that you've noticed about me, or that I've said about anything personal to go beyond these walls and the people in them. If any of you have a problem with that then you can leave now." He stood there for a moment to see if anyone would in fact leave, but they didn't. "I'm glad we have an understanding and I promise you that if any of you do break my one rule you wont like the consequences. Now I need to deal with him," House said and started towards the door.

"Will you hear us out and talk to us about the depression?" Thirteen asked, still a little scared but he'd said they should voice their concerns.

House stopped and lowered his head some as he thought about it. "Yes, when I'm done with Chase," he answered and then went into his office. Chase was sitting in one of the visitor chairs looking very guilty and House narrowed his eyes as he saw him give an apologetic look towards the closed door. "You were listening at the door, weren't you?"

111111111111111

Cuddy walked into her office behind Cameron and closed the door, "What do you think you were doing out there?" She asked calmly even though her face said she was pissed.

Cameron was fuming as she looked at Cuddy, "Putting down some boundaries for HIM, because you sure as hell aren't going to." She said back with anger.

Cuddy stood up straight and walked closer to Cameron, "You aren't over House. I am. I offered you the job once and you turned it down, you don't get the privilege of putting him in his place without the work that goes behind this job. Even when I do use the privilege I do my research first. You didn't even know what you were talking about out there." She said with irritation.

"I know I didn't see a man who's eyes look dead and that looks like he could be suicidal. I saw the same arrogant ass that he's always been, who likes playing with the minds of his team to see how much he can fool them into believing something, but this went too far!" Cameron said with hurt in her face. "Chase hasn't hardly eaten since HIS team talked to him about the 'depression' that House was suffering from and I didn't sleep at all last night, afraid that he might have finally broke." She said with irritation. "These games are one of the main reasons I quit working for House, but some how both Chase and I are getting sucked back into them because we care about his well-being."

Cuddy sighed as she could understand how Cameron had jumped to the conclusion and even sympathized with her some, because she too had jumped to misguided conclusions about House before. "I can tell you he wasn't faking the depression."

Cameron looked at her skeptically, "How could you know that? I saw him Cuddy, he didn't look happy but he wasn't THAT depressed."

"Maybe he's getting help," Cuddy said feeling guilty for putting the idea out there.

Cameron scoffed, "Like House would ever consider seeing a Psychiatrist." She said and then noticed the guilty look on Cuddy's face. "Are you saying he's seeing a Psychiatrist?" she asked with genuine surprise.

Cuddy twisted her lips some as she thought about her response, "No, I'm not saying anything," she stated still looking guilty.

Cameron was confused as she thought about it and a sudden realization popped into her head. "You couldn't tell me if he was because your not allowed to disclose medical information about another employee unless you think it could put a patient at risk." She said watching Cuddy with concerned eyes.

"No, I'm not allowed to disclose that kind of information," Cuddy confirmed.

"But you have before," Cameron said with confusion. "Why not now?"

Cuddy sighed deeply, "I like to think I've learned from my mistakes."

Cameron thought about this, "but you would have been able to deny it if my accusation was false, and you didn't." She said with a frown. "I've got to apologize to him," she said and turned to leave.

"No, you aren't going to say anything to him," Cuddy said as she stepped in front of her.

"Yes I am. I hurt him and I didn't mean too," Cameron said with determination.

"If you apologize to him, then he'll know that found out he wasn't faking, and since he knows that I pulled you into my office before you could make an even bigger scene; he'll know it was me. I can't have that." Cuddy stated. "What you will do is nothing, you've already done more than enough. Wilson and I are looking out for him, we'll make sure he's fine and you need to tell Chase the same thing goes for him."

Cameron sighed as she knew Cuddy was right, "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was planning on trying to talk to him about getting help or at least letting him know I was there for him if he wanted to talk, but then when he didn't seem any more depressed than usual... I just snapped." She said with sorrow in her voice.

"I know," Cuddy said understanding completely. "He makes it easy to come to the wrong conclusions."

Cameron still felt guilty, "Could you tell Wilson that I'm sorry for everything," she asked with pleading eyes.

"Yes," Cuddy said back and with that Cameron left and Cuddy sat down at her desk with a thud.

111111111111

"You were listening at the door, weren't you?" House asked with narrowed eyes.

Chase squirmed in the chair some as he looked up at House with guilty eyes. "Yes, but I SWEAR I never told her to say anything to you, especially loudly in the middle of the Hospital."

House looked in the young mans moist eyes and rolled his eyes, "Well at least I don't have to repeat myself," he said as he made his way to his chair and fell into it. He looked at Chase with irritation, he liked Chase and always had and when it came down to it, it wasn't Chase who had announced his depression to the hospital, it was Cameron. "The worst part is I didn't even realize that they noticed it." He said leaning back in his chair.

Chase was shocked he wasn't getting yelled at like the team had and wasn't sure if it was because House was already letting it go, or if the man was just to tired to be angry. He looked more worn than Chase had ever seen him, even when he visited him at NJM he'd seemed to have more energy. His face seemed sadder and more sunken. "You're human, and when you get that depressed it's easy to not see things that would usually be clear."

House sighed heavily, "Not for me, even in my darkest hours I can usually tell how I'm effecting those around me."

Chase could see where this was going, "Don't do that to yourself. You're not loosing your edge or you're mind House. You're trying to deal with depression and it's harder than you thought it would be."

House met Chase's eyes and looked at him with some interest, "So why did you tell Cameron?"

Chase was surprised House didn't get it, "Because I care about you, we both do," he stated obviously.

"Why?" House asked with more interest.

Chase frowned, "Because we were part of your team, part of that family."

"But you aren't anymore," House stated, "I fired you and she quit." He still felt a connection to them, they still spoke when they passed each other in the hall, but they had been nice to him and he hadn't been nice to them.

Chase looked like he might cry as he looked at House. "That doesn't matter, once someone is family they don't stop being family just because you're not around them all the time. That's not how family's work."

House nodded, "Then does that make what you and Cameron are doing incest? Because she's your sister, right, and I'm your dad."

Chase sighed, "Well I guess that makes about two minutes your new record."

"New record for what?" House asked.

"The amount of time you can handle having a emotional conversation before you have to try to make a joke out of it to try and take away from the meaning of it," Chase said with a sigh. "But then again, it's improvement of the last time which only took you a half a minute, maybe you're actually getting better House."

House narrowed his eyes on Chase, "Tell your girlfriend to get over her 'daddy' issues."

Chase could tell that House was dismissing him and stood up to leave but sighed, "I know you probably don't care what I think, but I think you should get help House. I've already lost one father, so maybe I'm just being selfish, but you're not that bad of a guy underneath the wolf's clothing."

House avoided eye contact by looking down at his desk but as he heard Chase take a step towards the door he looked up. "I'm already seeing someone."

Chase stopped but didn't look back, mainly because of the moisture in his eyes, "Good," he said as his chin shook and he stood there waiting for something else.

House could see his face in the reflection off the glass door, "I expect that to be kept private. I would even tell you not to tell Cameron if I thought there was a possibility that you were capable of it, but I am going to ask that you make sure she doesn't go spreading it around. You think you can manage that?" He asked as he saw a tear fall in the reflection and his face contorted awkwardly with worry.

Chase internally cursed the tear that ran down his face. "Yeah, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again, the most important thing is that you're getting help. We love you House." He said as his eye searched to door while he wondered what House would say back to such a thing.

House looked around a bit awkwardly as he heard those words. "You should go before you get too emotional and start hugging me. If the team ever finds out that this ended in a hug then they'll think I've gone soft."

"What makes you think they'd find out?" Chase said with a frown.

House shrugged, "Families talk, even to the more distant relatives. Plus then all of them might start wanting hugs." He said as if that would be the a terrible thing. "Bye Chase."

Chase smiled some, "Bye House," he said and walked out.

House swallowed as the door closed and sighed as he looked to the door that went to the DDX room. He stood up with his crutches and walked in to see the team close their mouths and look at him. "Let's get this over with. Say whatever it is that you need to say because I don't plan on having this conversation again." He said awkwardly looking around.

"We care about you and your depression has been worrying us. We think you should consider getting help from a professional," Kutner said seriously, as the rest of the team looked to House with concern.

House sighed, "I've been going to a therapist for the last month and I'm on anti-depressants, but I stopped taking them last Friday, but I'm back on them now with a stronger dose." He said standing tall even thought he felt embarrassed about admitting such weakness to his team.

Everyone's eyes widened. "Your seeing a Psychiatrist?" Taub said, for the first time thinking that maybe House wasn't the man he pretended to be as House nodded.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Thirteen asked as she looked at him with caring eyes.

House looked around the room at anything but them, "Because I didn't want you to be questioning if I could handle my job and because I didn't want to see pity or sympathy in your eyes when you look at me."

Foreman looked around the table and smiled, "Do you see pity or sympathy in our eyes?" He said as he watch House look to each of them, "We're just happy and proud that you're getting help House. People pity those who are to afraid to get help, not those who are strong enough to seek out help when they know they need it."

House was surprised that there in fact was no pity on any of their faces, only smiles and hopeful eyes. "My therapist gave me a project to do. She wants me to get all of you to make a list good vs. bad list of me and fax it to her."

"Why?" Taub asked with interest at the man he was finally getting to see from under all the layers of the man he pretended to be.

House rolled her eyes, "She thinks I don't have a realistic perception of myself. Anyway her fax number is (609) 258- 6875." He said and sighed heavily, "Now, lets not do this again until Hell freezes over. You can either write your lists or read magazines for all I care. I'm going to take a nap in my office." He said and started towards the door.

"Thanks," Kutner said and House stopped.

House looked back at him with curiosity, "For what?"

"For talking to us," Foreman supplied.

House's eyes scanned theirs and he nodded then disappeared behind his office door. He sat down at his desk and folded his arms on the desk then used them as a pillow. His mind raced on what he'd done and if it was the right thing for while, but after ten minutes he was out.

Wilson walked by the DDX room to see the blinds were still closed. He wondered what was happening behind them and risked knocking on the door. When he heard someone unlocking it his heart seemed to race but then when he saw Kutner's face it slowed down. "Hey, can I come in?" he asked trying to look past him.

Kutner found it surprising that Wilson was asking with such hesitation and opened the door wider for him, "Sure," he said casually.

Wilson had been afraid of what he'd see, but everything looked... normal. The office wasn't in shambles and the team was all working on something. "So, where's House?" He asked looking around the room.

"Taking a nap in his office, he looked pretty worn," Thirteen stated as they all looked at Wilson with some interest.

Wilson looked to the office and nodded as he looked back at the team. He could wait and hope that House might shed some light on what happened when he'd locked that door to the DDX room, but Wilson wasn't a very patient person. "I came by because when he came in here he seemed very upset." He said hoping that they would spill.

Foreman smiled at Wilson with a knowing look, "Sorry, you'll have to ask him about the specifics, but don't worry yourself too much about it. Everything worked out pretty good actually."

Wilson was unsettled by the genuine smile on Foreman's lips along with the overall happiness of the team. "Oh God, you've done something to him, haven't you. I'm too late, you've already found some way of getting revenge on him." He said with worry as he looked toward the office. "What is it, what have you done?"

"Nothing," Kutner said finding Wilson's assumption and worry intriguing.

Wilson looked back at them and didn't see anything that indicated that they were lying. "But he looked like he was about to go to war when he came in here," Wilson said nervously.

Thirteen smiled, "And he was, he talked to us and even opened up some. Don't worry, everything is good, actually... it's better than it's been in a long time."

Wilson let out a relieved smile, "That's good," he said as his worry left him some.

Taub looked at Wilson with a half smile, now understanding how House and him where friends. "He isn't the man he want's everyone to think he is, is he?" He asked.

Wilson smiled warmly, "Not even close," he said softly.

Taub nodded, "We're glad he's getting help Wilson, and we're all hoping it helps."

Wilson's eyes moistened some, "Thank you... so do I," he said choking on his words some at the relief that House had told them and that they were as supportive as he'd hoped they'd be.

Thirteen stood up and put a hand on his shoulder as she could tell how much it had meant to him and how worried he still was about House. "He's going to be fine Wilson. Today proves it's working, a year ago he'd never admitted needing or seeking help to us. He'd getting better, it's just going to take time."

Wilson nodded as he felt a knot in his throat, "He deserves to be happy, he's a good man." He said as he tried to keep his emotions from boiling over.

"We know," Foreman said softly with a sad smile as he looked to Wilson.

Wilson smiled back, "You working on the project he was given?" he asked as he noticed all of them had paper in front of them that they'd been writing on when he came in.

"Yep," Kutner said with a big smile. "Hopefully he wont get too egotistical after he finds out the results." He said back giving Wilson a hint that the good side of page was pretty full.

Wilson shook his head, "I doubt it. House might act like he's God when it comes to work and his medical knowledge, but the same has never been true about how he see's himself a person. You wouldn't think from meeting him that he'd be insecure about himself on anything, but then again he was brought up to keep things like that hidden." Wilson said sadly.

The entire team was looking at him with interest again, all of them wondering how much he knew that no one else did about their boss. Thirteen looked at Wilson with questioning eyes, "House said he see's us as a sort of family, and that what we see or he tells us should be kept private, but I think you might be part of that family too." She said wondering.

"I am," Wilson said with a nod, "and so is Cuddy," he added.

"Really?" Foreman said a little surprised and then smiled as the more the thought about it the more it seemed to make sense.

Taub sighed, "House said something about not liking rules because he had too many as a child. Do you think his parents where hard on him?" He asked, not completely sure if he was crossing a line or not.

Wilson's felt a tear run down the side of his face as he shook his head and looked at the ceiling, "His parents together, no, but his father, yes. His father was," he thought about what to say without giving away too much and looked at them, "his father was never easy on House. He was a military man and ran his home just, if not more, strictly than the military it's self." He could see he hadn't given too much away as they all looked interested and maybe a little concerned, but there wasn't the horrid expression on their face that there would be if they truly understood how House was treated. "Thank you for supporting him, I should get back to my own work and take your time with the lists. I know I'm going too." Wilson said as he turned toward the door.

"His Psychiatrist asked you to fill one out too?" Kutner asked.

Wilson stopped glancing at him, "Me, Cuddy, and you guys," he informed them. "I'll see you later," he said and walked out.


	87. Chapter 87: Filed under Abuse

_Guest, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love how worried Wilson got and how open House was compared to usual with the team. They got to see him stand up for himself as a person and realized that their tough ass of a boss can be hurt by their actions, even if what they are doing is for the best of reasons. Honestly I had House be easier on Cameron because of two reasons, one he wasn't talking to her face to face and second, he was tired by the time he got to Chase, both physically and emotionally exhausted. Thanks for the review, - Nicole_

Wilson went to his office letting his secretary know that his door was locked and that he would busy. He opened the cabinet and looked down at the cardboard boxes that contained House's medical records from the Military in them. It had been a week since he'd read through the first one and since then he'd been avoiding them, but he felt it was time he tried to read another file. He sighed heavily as he looked at the boxes and decided he might as well go for the hardest one. He pulled the lid off the one for the year 71-76 and saw tons of files. He swallowed and pulled out the first one and sat down at his desk.

He opened the file to see a picture that broke his heart. It was Greg striped down to his underwear with bruises and stitched up gashes on his very thin body and a very swollen left shoulder. Wilson hoped he could handle what was in the file as he took the picture off and put it to the side.

Patient's Name: Gregory House Date: 01/03 Age: 11

Weight: 72 pounds Height: 63 inches Eye Color: Blue Location: Combodia, Phnom Penh

Reason for visit: Passed out in the hallway at school.

Findings: Boy is very underweight and malnourished, but isn't dehydrated. Several bruises: claims it's from falls and fights at school but the bruises of the fists are big for those of a High school student, look more like a grown adult. Shoulder was dislocated, but upon putting it back in the socket the child was quiet and reserved, didn't have much reaction to pain (possible nerve damage?) Check nerve reaction and there doesn't seem to be a problem with the nerves. Inspection of stitches reveals that many of them are home jobs done with fishing line, when I asked who'd done them the boy said he'd done them, but job looks to professional for a child (check with parent about stitches). Too many old scars to list, several bone repairs and even an old gun shot wound in the leg, boy said he was accidentally shot during a hunting trip. Also noticed dark bruising and marking around the ankle. Greg is polite but body language indicates his irritated and closed off. First real reaction I got from him is when I told him his father had been called, he started shifting more and repeating that he was 'fine'.

Notes: Father not only corroborated his sons story about the stitches, he seemed proud. Father stated that his son has a interest in medicine and being a soldier, so he taught his son how to do basic stitches. He went on the say that his son prefers to sleep outside in the trees and that must have fallen out last night, which would explain the dislocated shoulder and some of the bruising. Asked father about some of the bruises in the shape of fists, he says his son is known for getting in fights at school because of his much younger age to the other students. Talked to him about the malnourishment and father seemed to get irritated, he said he'd make sure the boy ate more though. Pull father to side to explain the boy's odd reaction to pain and father seemed delighted, he said that his son has a higher tolerance to pain then most people and everyone was going to be surprised how good he'd be as a soldier someday.

Doctor: Anthony Thomas

Wilson frowned as he'd read the file, so many things that seemed to obvious point to child abuse where ignored. He looked back at the picture of House and sighed, "Someone should have stopped this," he said and put the file back up, then grabbed another file three files after it. The picture scared the crap out of him, House looked dead in the picture as he's body was pale with small cuts and his eyes closed, the next picture had him looking at the camera with the same cold eyes that Wilson had seen so many times.

Patient's Name: Gregory House Date: 01/21 Age: 11

Weight: 72 pounds Height: 63 inches Eye Color: Blue Location: Combodia, Phnom Penh

Reason for visit: Brought in by father unconscious and not breathing.

Findings: Lots of cold water and ICE shards in the lungs, keep asking father and son but neither one will give me an answer on how he got ICE and water in his lungs?! Several small lacerations on the child's skin and he was brought in cold and damp. My guess would be that someone put him in an ice bath, but even after keeping him for several hours the boy doesn't have a raised fever, so why would he be given an ice bath. Also there are bruises of hands on both sides of the boys collar bone, indicating he was held under water forcefully. Several things don't add up with this patient, like the fact he still hasn't put on a pound and the many visits that are put on the boy being clumsy but I've never seen him be anything other than graceful in movements. Also I have never met the mother, even though I'm informed that there is one, she's never brought Greg in or been the one called, next time the boy is brought over from the base school I'm going to make sure she is the one contacted. It was just luck that Greg didn't die and even though his lungs sound pretty dry now, he could still get pneumonia.

Notes: Talked to Greg alone and asked if his father was hurting him. The boy became irate at the accusation and said his father was a honorable and good man who had only tried to help him. He said he was lucky to have a father who was so dedicated to his future and then asked me to leave him alone. I'm still not sure what is going on here, the boy seemed truthful in his words.

Doctor: Anthony Thomas

Wilson looked at the picture with House glaring at the camera and also noticed the slight bruising on the collar bones and felt himself getting angry. He quickly put the file up and picked up the next one. He was greeted with a picture of a badly beaten young House looking bored and slightly irritated.

Patient's Name: Gregory House Date: 01/26 Age: 11

Weight: 73 pounds Height: 63 inches Eye Color: Blue Location: Combodia, Phnom Penh

Reason for visit: Was brought over from the school base after getting in a fight.

Findings: Greg has swollen eye, several bruised ribs, one broken rib, two hematomas on his abdomen, busted lip, and a broken toe. When I asked what the fight was about he told me that it wasn't my concern and when I turned my back he set his toe on his own. When checking him out I discovered he did have pneumonia and he informed he was fine and was prone to getting it, as if I was talking about something unimportant. Greg doesn't seem to have any issue with the pain but I told him I was giving him a prescription anyway, though I'm doubtful he'll take them. Mother seemed very sweet and concerned about son, she said that this was a continuing problem at every school he'd been in, that they were jealous of her brilliant boy. Greg was softer and sweet with his mother though he was glaring at me a good bit when she wasn't looking. Bandaged him up and suggested he miss school for a day or two, but Greg immediately refused too, because evidently he can't have any missed day if he wants to Graduate this spring. Mother seemed to be very confused on what she should do and said she'd discuss it with her husband later.

Notes: I brought up the many other visits Greg has had to my Clinic and she was obviously surprised, both of them seemed to keeping her in the dark. Greg said that they hadn't wanted to worry her with trivial things and then said I was making it sound worst then what it was. I then informed her that the last time he'd been brought it he wasn't even breathing and very easily could have died. Greg laughed and grabbed his mothers hand, saying that I must have him confused with another patient. Then he asked her if she would get him some water and when she left his demeanor completely shifted. He stood up and let me know that if I caused his mother anymore grief than I already had he'd tell my wife I was sleeping with one of the nurses. I was shocked and told him that I wasn't, but he smirked with cold eyes and told me it didn't matter because he'd convince her of it and my marriage would still be ruined. He told me to stick to what I was paid to do, the medicine and to quit nosing into his life. Later in the day his father stopped into chat with me and let the director of the clinic know that he felt I had a interest in his son beyond a patient and no longer wanted me treating him.

Doctor: Anthony Thomas

Wilson put down the file with a sighed, evidently House had been threatening doctors long before he became one. It was pretty obvious that at the age of eleven House and his father were still on the same page about him going into the Marines and both saw 'logical' reasoning behind the 'lessons'. It frustrated Wilson that House had not only taken such abuse but was actually defensive of the man who was abusing him, that he wanted to hurt something. He put up the file and one from the middle of the box, setting the next file at and angle so he'd know where to put it back.

Patient's Name: Gregory House Date: 07/12/73 Age: 13

Weight: 83 pounds Height: 67 inches Eye Color: Blue Location: Japan, Okinawa

Reason for visit: Getting surgical pins removed from right arm and vaccination shots.

Findings: Pins from arm were taken out without problem and vaccinations were administered. Boy was irritated that I insisted on him getting completely undressed and in a medical gown for the procedure. Noticed many old scars and some fresh looking burns that seemed to still be healing in his arm pits, when I questioned these findings, Greg seemed annoyed and kept repeating that he didn't have time for this nonsense and need to study for a test. When I inquired to what grade he was in he informed me that he was taking college classes from Westpoint through the base and that he had a very tight schedule. I let him know that I wasn't allowed to release him until a complete examination had been done and the boy quickly took off the gown. The amount of scars were unreal, most of the soldiers have less battle wounds, and some remarkable home stitching done by the boy himself. I found nothing of immediate concern, but asked the boy if there was anything bothering him. Greg showed me a deep gash on his scalp that was poorly stitched up and infected. I cleaned out the wound, stitched it back up cleanly, and prescribed him some antibiotics; I asked him if it hurt but he dismissed the concern and asked about what kind of stitches I was doing.

Notes: Asked the boy where his parents where but he said that they were busy and he was more than capable of handling this without them and taking care of himself, for some reason I believe him. Greg is also very fluent in his Japanese and seems to be very bright. He was annoyed in the beginning of the visit when I used basic terminology and asked me not to talk to him like he was and idiot, when I use more specific terms he understood fully and showed interest in medical science. He obviously didn't want to talk about the old scarring and when I would inquire about specific scars he was very good at using broad terms and not going into details, like I had a laceration stitched up, and it's obviously scars from the time my femur was broken. Very interesting young man.

Doctor : Isamu Adachi

Wilson sighed, he wasn't sure what was sadder here, the abuse House was obviously enduring or the fact that the small boy seemed to be brainwashed into thinking it was fine. He looked at the picture of the slightly older Greg who was beginning to look more and more like the man he knew. His eyes held a small light in them, along with a smug (I know things you don't) glint, and a bored (how long is this going to take) gaze. The boy in the picture didn't smile or even frown, instead his mouth was closed loosely in what appeared to be complete indifference. It was the beginning of the mask that House still wore. Wilson grabbed the next file and opened it up, the pictures scared him and he quickly started reading. His heart was racing, when suddenly he heard noise and jumped almost out of his seat. His eyes scanned his office and then stopped on the balcony door as he saw House standing there with his crutches. "Shit," he said under his breath, and was a little relieved that it was locked. He quickly put away the file and slid the big box under his desk with his feet inconspicuously, to keep from bringing attention to it then opened the balcony door. "Thanks for almost giving me a heart attack, and it's nice to know that you're already trying to over exert yourself by hopping over walls." He said with a slight irritation as he held the door open for House.

House grinned, "A good scare every now and again is healthy for you Wilson, it gets the blood pumping and unlike you, getting over that wall doesn't require much energy from me. All I have to do is back up to it, sit down and then turn around on it."

Wilson had never really thought about it being easier for House since he was a good bit taller. "Yes, I think I read about that in one of those Medical Journals, I'm fairly certain the article was entitled The Benefits to Being Friends with an Ass. I'm pretty sure that heart attacks were number four on the list, following never being alone, never having to throw away left overs, and always having a large collection of lewd and racist jokes that you can never actually repeat." Wilson quipped.

House half smiled as he made his way to the couch and sat down, "You mean like me saying something about how I love knowing that you're back door is only opened for me alone," he said with a grin.

Wilson shook his head as he smiled, "Yes, just like that." He said as he unlocked his the door to his office.

"You trying to keep someone out," House stated with interest.

Wilson smiled, "Yes, I figured Cuddy would be paying me a visit soon to see how everything unfolded with you, and I was hoping to keep her at bay until I'd at least talked to you myself."

"But we haven't talked yet and you unlocked it," House noted. Wilson smiled bigger and House sighed, "but if she comes in before we talk then she'll just ask me directly and then you'll get out of being in the middle of it all together."

"Exactly," Wilson said and sat back down at his desk. "So, is anyone dead? Am I going to have to dig a hole while you keep watch for the cops?"

House smiled a little, "No, but I think you already know that since you spoke to my team already."

"Who ratted me out?" Wilson asked casually.

"Kutner," House supplied. "I told them," he said still a little conflicted about his decision.

"They told me," Wilson said warmly, "it was the right call. They needed to know and you still had to tell them about the project anyways. It's good House."

House sighed, "We wont know that until some time has passed. I don't want this to change things between them and me, I don't want them to be tip toeing around me because their afraid to... you know."

"Because they care about you, or might be afraid of actually hurting you? You know there are worse things than having a team that cares about you," Wilson said searching House's eyes.

House looked away as he shrugged, "They don't care about me like you and Cuddy do. Their just afraid of change and losing their jobs if I do something stupid like jump off the balcony. They care about me because they care about their jobs, and I don't want that disrupting the way we work."

Wilson scoffed, "Yeah, it's only because of the job that they care, just like you only care about them as employees." He said sarcastically.

"That's right," House said back looking at him.

"And I guess that's why you pushed Remy to test herself for Huntington's disease, even though that's actually been more of a distraction from her work. It must also have been the reason you convinced Chase to tell the board about his father's death, even though you knew he'd only get a slap on the wrist and that you'd end up taking the real heat. Probably the reason you went out on a date with Cameron too, or asked her out after the Ketamine treatment, or the reason you kissed her back when she went to get your blood during the Cancer scare you put us through." He saw House look at him a little shock as he swallowed, "Yeah she told me. Didn't you also infect Steve McQueen with the same thing that Foreman had in order to try and save him?" Suddenly something occurred to him, "Speaking of Steve, I don't think I saw him much after that."

"Shut up," House said with his eyes closed remembering how much it had killed him to put Steve in harms way, but doing it anyways because he cared more for Foreman and considered it his responsibility to save him. He still remembered how Steve had squeaked as he's neurological symptoms worsened even after the medication and how he'd just stared at him when he died.

Wilson could see the flickers of grief and guilt on House's face, and until then he really hadn't thought that much about the rats sudden disappearance. He'd always found the idea of a pet rat a bit weird and didn't see how someone to feel a connection to such a creature but it was obvious that Steve had meant a lot to House. He swallowed, "You made a choice, and I'm sorry about Steve. I know you cared for him but you obviously cared more about Foreman. It was the right choice, you know that right?"

House swallowed as he looked out the balcony door, "I used him like he... like he was some lab rat."

Wilson saw a humor in House's choice of words but could tell the man hadn't said it to be funny so he didn't comment on it. "Greg, he was a rat and Foreman is a person."

"He was there for me," House said with emotion as he looked at Wilson. "He was always there when I was lonely or when the pain got too bad. He was there after Stacy left again with Mark and when you were too busy or just too put out with me and I just... I," he sighed looking back out the balcony door.

Wilson frowned as he got up and sat down hesitantly beside House. "Hey you did what you felt you had to do to save a friend, Steve would have understood that." He said softly.

House scoffed, "Really, so you talk to dead rats now?" He said looking at him with skepticism and yet a bit of relief.

"Well you're not the only person in the room with unusual talents," Wilson said back with a small smile.

House shook his head, "Do you think it's the same thing... as what my father did to Rocket?" He asked as he looked down at the carpet.

"No," Wilson said putting a hand on House's back, "it wasn't anything like that. You're father was cruel and did what he did to keep you from having a connection from anything but him, so that he could continue to abuse you without anyone knowing. You did what you did to save a life of someone who meant a great deal to you. You aren't like him Greg."

House didn't look to sure, "Thanks," he said still staring at the carpet. "Maybe I do care about them a little more than just employees, but that doesn't mean they feel the same way about me. I'm their asshole boss."

"Maybe, maybe not," Wilson said with a soft smile as he watch House's face.

House smile a little, "Thanks," he said softly.

Wilson nodded, "You know... we could get a pet, a rat even." He said hesitantly wondering what House would say.

House sighed, "Maybe after I get to the point I can at least take care of myself. I talked to Chase too."

Wilson sat up a little straighter, "So did you chew him up and spit him out?"

"No," House said sounding a little surprised himself as he saw Wilson looking confused. "I told him I was seeing a psychiatrist and that to make sure Cameron didn't go spreading it around. He said that the only reason he'd gotten involved with the team was because he cared about me still, even though I fired him. He said that family didn't stop being family just because they weren't around each other all the time."

"That's true," Wilson said wondering what was going on House's head.

House chewed his lip some as he looked to be in great thought, "I should go," he said after several minutes of staring off.

"Go where?" Wilson said still wondering what House had taken from the talk with Chase.

"I need to talk to Cuddy about what songs I'm singing for the benefit. You're coming too right?" He said getting his crutches ready and standing up smoothly.

"Um... sure," Wilson said taken off guard by House's change in topic.

"You singing?" House asked standing tall.

Wilson shrugged, "Wasn't planning on it," he answered not sure what answer House was looking for.

House smiled, "Good, means I don't have to bring ear plugs with me. Meet you at ten after five in the physical therapy gym."

"I'll be there," Wilson said with a smile, "but just to warn you, I might feel like singing while you work out."

House laughed, "I'll make sure to grab some ear plugs on my then."

"Ass," Wilson yelled at House playfully as he walked down the hall.

11111111111

Nathan sighed as he saw Doctor House walk in the door and pressed a button on the phone, "Dr. Cuddy, Dr. House is here to see you," he said watching the man.

Cuddy walked to the door and opened it, "House come in," she said holding the door open for him, "and Nathan, please hold all my calls," she instructed before closing the door. She walked back behind her desk and watched as House sat down. "I had a talk with Cameron and let her know that what she did out there in the lobby wasn't acceptable."

House nodded, "Okay, but that's not what I'm here about."

She was nervous by the serious expression he wore and swallowed, "Then why are you here?"

He tilted his head some, reading the nervous energy and noticing things like the distance she put between then along with the lack of excitement in her voice. Something was different between them and he sighed, "I came to thank you, for the talk you gave me in my office. I needed it."

Cuddy smiled at him warmly. She wanted to touch him so bad, just something little like to stroke his cheek or brush her fingers through his hair or maybe a soft kiss. She looked away from his lips and into his eyes, which she wasn't sure helped to calm her desire. "You're welcome."

House could see the want in her eyes as she looked him, even though she didn't voice it or act on it. He watched as her hand reached out from the table in his direction and how she pulled it back to herself after just a couple of seconds. He could tell she was trying to keep distance between them, even if it wasn't something she really wanted. "I also came to tell you the name of the songs I'll be singing at the benefit."

"Oh, um.. thanks," she said as the benefit had been the farthest thing from her mind ever since she'd seen how depressed he'd been, but she was relieved he did seem a lot better.

"Here," he said handing her a small piece of paper.

Cuddy read over the name's but one of them left her confused. "I've never heard of _Proud_," she said looking up at him, "and at least one of these songs needs to address child abuse."

House suddenly seemed nervous as he chewed on his lip with his shoulders slumped some, "_Proud_ addresses the issue," he said hoping she wouldn't push this.

She could tell something was wrong, "Fine," she said softly wondering what was up, "but I need to see the lyrics before I can approve it. Do you have them with you?"

He quickly pulled a worn piece of paper from the inside of his blazer jacket and tossed it at her immediately looking away. She grabbed it up and started reading looking back at him every couple of line as she felt her heart became overwhelmed. When she was almost to the end there were some verses in the song that made her gasp, she hoped to God that they didn't mean what they sounded like, and by the very end she had unshed tears in her eyes. "Greg did you write this?" she asked in almost a whisper.

House let out a deep breath and quickly made a grab for it, but she was quick enough to keep it from him. "Listen if you don't like it then fine, you can just pick something out and I'll sing that instead, alright!" He said defensively.

Cuddy looked into his eyes and he quickly looked away again. "It's good Greg, it's just so... raw and..."

"Well what the hell where expecting! Do you think it was all sunshine and rainbows?!" He barked as he looked at the piece of paper in her hand.

She shook her head softly, "No," she answered. "This will be fine, I look forward to hearing you sing it," she said wishing he'd make eye contact with her as she put the paper down in front of him on the desk. "When did you write it?"

House sighed, "In college," he answered meeting her eyes for a moment before looking down at the paper and quickly putting it in a pocket. "I need a favor," he said pulling out a card from his wallet and placing it on her desk. "I need you to write a Good vs. Bad list of me and fax it in to Dr. Ryan."

Cuddy was surprised by the request, "Sure," she said back a little confused, "may I ask why?"

He shifted some as he finally looked her in the eyes for more than half a second. "My therapist thinks I have some irrational image of myself and wants me to see what the people closest to me think of me," he said rolling his eyes some.

She nodded, "I'd be happy to write a list for you and send it in. Who else is doing this?"

House shrugged, "Wilson and the team," he said casually but the way his fingers were tapping on his leg let her know he wasn't nearly as calm as he was trying to appear.

"So you told the team about the therapy?" Cuddy said with raised eyebrows.

"Yep, now they all probably think I'm some sort of looney who's going to want to hold their hands while I cry or something, but after a couple of whacks from my crutches they'll back off... hopefully." He said and swallowed.

She smiled, "It really is helping, isn't it. I'm really happy for you Greg."

House nodded and stood up, "So, I'll see you at the benefit tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, and at work tomorrow," Cuddy said with a smirk.

"But I might need to rest my voice up, you know how yelling at the team can make it hoarse," he said back with a slight grin.

She rolled her eyes, "You know there is another solution than missing work, it's possible for some bosses to go a whole day, some even go a whole week without yelling at their staff."

House scoffed, "And they still work here?! Sounds like to me that they aren't doing their jobs at all!" He scoffed again at the idea, "Not yelling at their staff, next you'll be telling me that these so called department heads go to social events with them and celebrate their birthdays with them."

Cuddy smiled, "Be at work tomorrow, or I'll sneak in and drug you myself."

He smirked at her, "See! Now that's how a boss handles things."

She shook her head laughing as he left.

**Howdy everyone, hope you're having a Happy Easter! I decided I would put up a chapter as a present to my readers and I really hope you enjoyed it. Also in case you didn't know, I've started writing another story that has House as a child, it's called Raising the House and I welcome you to read it if you think you might like it. Have a happy Easter everyone and I truly feel blessed to have you reading my works. Thanks - Nicole**


	88. Chapter 88: Tension at Donor Parties

Wilson glanced over at House as he drove home. He'd seemed to be in deep thought about something ever since he got to the PT gym to work out. It wasn't necessarily odd that House was thinking so hard about something, that was pretty normal, but by now he'd usually said something to him about what it was. "What's on your mind?"

House continued looking out the window, "Nothing," he said.

"Well you sure seemed pretty worried about nothing then," Wilson commented and looked back at the road.

House glanced at him and back out the window. When they were home House sighed as he sat down on the couch looking at the piano and thinking about tomorrow. The more he thought about getting up in front of the entire hospital, while playing and singing a song that he'd written about him and his fathers abusive relationship, the more he became anxious. _What if everyone figured out the song was about him?_ He chewed his lips as his breathing became panicked at the thought.

Wilson put up his briefcase and looked through the refrigerator for what he could cook for dinner. It wasn't till forty-five minutes after getting home that he finally decided he'd just call something in tonight and retired to the living room. As soon as he walked in he notice House staring at the piano and the rabid breathing. "House?" He said softly as he walked in front of him, but House just seemed to stare through him at the piano. Wilson swallowed and sat down beside him. "You've been doing so good with you're therapy House, how about you take a step forward and talk about this instead of taking a step backwards and withdrawing."

House's eye moved to his and then down. "I don't think I can sing the song I told Cuddy I would at the donors party tomorrow." He said looking back at the piano.

"Why not?" Wilson asked.

House shook his head, "I'm not ready for other people to know, actually I don't think I'm going to be able to go to the party at all."

"You promised you'd be there and that you'd preform some songs, you can't just break you're promise, you never break promises," Wilson said watching House closely.

House swallowed and looked up, meeting Wilson's eyes. "The theme of the party is raising awareness and help for abused children, what will people think when this is the first donor party I've attended since Stacy left?"

Wilson smiled, "House, they'll just think Cuddy conned you into coming or something. I've been your friend for how many years, and I never guessed it, neither will they."

"But what if they do?" House said back searching his eyes, "Wilson... I don't think I could handle others knowing, it's hard enough knowing Cuddy and you do."

Wilson could see the fear on House's face and swallowed, "Don't take this the wrong way, but most of the people at that hospital don't even see you as a human being House. They see you as some robotic machine that outputs answers no one else could find and harsh insults. It's okay, people wont guess it and if they do all you have to do is roll your eyes and make some comment about how talking to guests wasn't in you and Cuddy's arrangement and they'll leave it alone." He watched House think about it and licked his lips, "If you don't want to go, no one is going to make you go, but at the same time I think going could help and Cuddy's going to be pissed if you don't. I'm just saying what you already know," he said truthfully.

House's expression was serious, "You're right, I owe it to Cuddy to go, what about my team? Do you think they'll put it together?"

Wilson sighed, "I don't know, they might. You know you could call Dr. Ryan about this."

House shrugged, "I don't wan to bother her."

"You wouldn't be, you'd be reaching out to her about an issue you're having, which is why she gave you her number to start with. It's okay to let other people help, House." Wilson said with a knowing look.

House nodded and got out his phone to call her while Wilson went in the kitchen to give him some privacy. It was an hour later when House walked into the kitchen on his crutches.

"So," Wilson asked looking at House.

House shrugged, "I'm going to do it."

Wilson smiled, "Good, you feel any better about it."

House thought about that, "Yeah, I do."

11111111111

Cuddy welcomed another department head to the donor party with a smile, but as soon as they were in the doors her smile dropped and she looked back at her watch to see it already ten past seven. She frowned, as she looked at the list of people who still hadn't arrived and wished she hadn't gotten her hopes up. She'd known getting him to go to any donor party was going to be a miracle, but then she'd pushed it harder by having this one address the issue of Child Abuse. She sighed knowing that his not showing was just as much her fault as it was his. The only good thing was that she hadn't announced that House would be there, but even without an announcement some people had heard he was on the itinerary and came just to see the mysterious man. "Jessica, if you could please take over greeting, it's about time for me to start this off."

"Of course, Dr. Cuddy," Jessica answered and walked over to the small podium that Cuddy had been standing at.

"Thank you," Cuddy replied, turned around with a heavy sigh and headed in the doors

"Oh I see how it is, you're leaving the sloppy seconds here to sign us in. You know I'm not just chopped liver," House said watching as she stopped.

Cuddy swallowed and turned around to see House standing there in his navy suit pin-stripe suit. He looked the best she could remember seeing him since the attack, and beside him was Wilson looking sharp as well. She couldn't believe he'd come.

House took advantage of her loss for words and used the crutches to walk up to her, "Don't worry, I have that effect on woman. You know, leaving them speechless." House said while Wilson rolled his eyes with a half smile. "You alright Lisa?" Wilson asked

She blinked looking at both of them, "He came," she said to Wilson, then looked back at House with confusion, "you came?"

House was looked around feeling a bit awkward as he could see how much it meant to her and shrugged, "A deal is a deal."

Cuddy frowned, he was doing this for her after all she'd done. "You don't have to do this you know. I... I shouldn't have pushed..."

"We should get in there before all the wine is gone," House interrupted looking at Cuddy but glancing at Wilson at the last moment.

She could tell he was nervous, even if he was trying to hide it. "Thank you Greg," she said as he took a step away and stopped.

He wished he knew what that meant, she'd called him Greg again, something she'd avoided the day before. He looked back at her with unreadable eyes, looking her over. "Smoke'n dress, now I know how you really pull in the big bucks at these events. Just try not to put me to sleep with a long speech."

Cuddy wasn't sure if he was trying to say she looked nice or if he wasn't happy that she'd worn such a revealing dress without asking him to be her date. She felt her stomach tighten as they just looked at each other, then House looked away from her and walked in to the donor party.

Wilson gave her a wave and small smile before following House in. He looked over to see that House's jaw was stiff. "Remember I have your medication on me, so if you're hurting just let me know," he said softly.

"You think she has a date," House said picking up a glass of red wine and drinking it down in two gulps.

Wilson followed House's eyes on Cuddy and frowned, "She didn't say anything to me about a date, she's probably going solo like the rest of us."

House glanced at Wilson, "By the way, where is your new wife?"

Wilson rolled his eyes as he sighed, "She's my girlfriend and she's working late on a big case. I told you that she wasn't going to be able to make it yesterday."

House frowned watching Cuddy as she got on the stage in the tight, low hanging, backless, dress. "How long do these things usually last," he asked picking up another glass of red wine.

"Usually everyone starts to head out around midnight, but we can leave whenever you're ready," Wilson said watching the way House was watching Cuddy.

"Thank you everyone for coming," Cuddy said with a smile as she looked over the crowd. "As you all know these events are not only to help raise money for the hospital but also for charitable organization for the community. Tonight twenty-five percent of all the money received will be donated to the New Jersey Child Abuse Association. This group not only helps to get abused children in good homes and psychiatric help they need, but it also works to train teachers on how to recognize when they have a student who is being abused in the classroom and the best way to handle the situation. It is because of this training that this year one hundred and twenty-six children that were in abusive home are now living in homes without fear." She said and the crowd clapped loudly. "Tonight Dr. Collin, the president of NJCAA, will talk more about the organization and then we'll have some live entertainment from the staff members of this very hospital." She paused as the crowd clapped again and smiled. "For the next thirty minutes please relax, visit, and enjoy the food and drinks." Cuddy said and walked off the stage.

"Dr. House," said a short man with a red beard and curly hair. "I'm Dr. Yates."

House looked at the man with mock confusion, "Is that suppose to mean something to me?" He asked and then felt Wilson's elbow in his side and sighed at the dejected man in front of him. "I was joking of course. Dr. Yates, it's a pleasure to meet you." House said forcing himself to smile some.

Dr. Yates smiled big as his green eyes lit up. "I've heard you can be quite the jokier and that you like to get right to the point. So I'll just come out with it. I'm on the board of the Mayo Clinic, and we want you at our hospital in Rochester."

House gave the man a grimaced smile, "Sorry not interested."

Wilson was looked at him like he was an idiot, the Mayo Clinic was one of the best hospitals in the world and a leader in research in every field.

Dr. Yates laughed, "Oh Dr. House, I wouldn't respect you if you didn't play hard to get, but you have to at least hear me out."

"I'm not interested, I like it here, sorry to have wasted your time," House said looking for an escape route.

"Dr. House, I don't think you understand. We're willing to offer you a tenured position at our hospital with a 5 million dollar annual salary." Dr. Yates said with confidence.

Wilson's eyes were almost bugging out of his head.

"I'm a department head here and I have my team," House said back.

"I know, you have four fellows at the moment. Dr. House you would be a department head with us as well, and you could have ten fellows, we'll even hire you're fellows here for twice their salary." Dr. Yates said watching House.

House scoffed, "I don't get along with some of your doctors, like Hodge."

"Hodge is replaceable, you're not. We want the best doctors in every field and that's what you are Dr. House. Not only are you the best in a field in which you've single-handedly created, you might be the best doctor in world and there is no limit to what we'll do to get at our hospital. Just say what it is that you want and I'll make it happen." Dr. Yates said with a smile and looked to Dr. Wilson. "You must be Dr. Wilson, I hear that you two are close." He looked back to House, "We'll make a place for him Dr. House, anything you want."

House swallowed as Wilson looked at him excitement. "I'm not interested now will you get out of my way are do I have to beat you away with my crutches." He said with no hint of smile as he stared the man down.

Dr. Yates sighed, "Listen, we can go as high as 10 million on the annual..." he stopped talking as House raised one of his crutches at him and swallowed while taking a step back. "There is no expiration date on this offer if you ever change you're mind." He said and walked away.

Wilson stared at House, "What the hell where you thinking? He's offering you the a position that anyone in this hospital would kill for, including me, and you act like his a Jehovah's Witness trying to push scripture on you."

"I'm not interested," House said firmly drinking his wine and then hobbling along.

Wilson followed him without comment. House read the name cards on the tables when he finally ran across his. He sat down and looked to see that Wilson's card was to the right of him and Cuddy's to the left.

Cuddy spotted House and made her way over. "So I saw that you almost physically attacked someone already, sounds like you're having fun."

Wilson opened his mouth and House glared at him, "Wilson could you get me something to snack on, I'm starving and my legs hurt."

Wilson scoffed, "Sure," he said and shook his head as he left.

"What's up with him?" Cuddy asked.

"He's date couldn't make it and he's stuck with me," House said casually but gave her a questioning look.

Cuddy swallowed as her stomach knotted, he looked so good in that suit. "I'm looking forward to hearing you sing tonight."

House wished he knew what was going on between them. One day he was getting the cold shoulder and the next she was looking at him desire. "You're speech wasn't bad," he said watching her.

Cuddy smiled at him, "I forgot to tell you how good you look tonight, probably because you left me speechless when you walked in." She said with a smirk putting a hand on his arm.

House swallowed at the touch as he looked in her eyes.

"Dr. Cuddy! Hey, there's our favorite gal. Come on over hear and visit for a minute," said an older man with a smile.

Cuddy gave House and apologetic smile and he nodded back, understanding she had to go. She joined the old man in a conversation and House still wondered what was going on between them.

"So, you didn't tell her about the offer?" Wilson said as walked up beside House.

"Why would I?" House said looking up at Wilson with irritation.

Wilson put down the plate of hors d'oeuvres in front of him, "To get a raise, would be a start."

House rolled his eyes, "This hospital doesn't make nearly enough money to compete with that."

"Which is why you should consider the offer to begin with," Wilson argued.

"With more money comes more constrictions." House said looking at him, "I make enough money to have what I want and because I get paid so little, Cuddy lets me get away with most things. I have a team I like working with and our offices have a connecting balcony."

Wilson sighed, "You also have to do clinic duty, roll around in a wheelchair for a week to keep your parking space, and don't have decent flat screen TV in your office."

"We'll talk about it later," House said as he saw Cuddy retreating for the older man.

Cuddy took her seat beside House, "Well it seems like I was finally able to escape," she said with a smile.

"In that dress I'm doubtful," House said with a smirk.

Her smile dropped, as much as she liked House and could understand that it must be difficult for him to see her dressed up and talking to a lot of men, he was acting like a child and she kept getting the impression that he thought she was dressed too provocatively. "I like this dress," she said firmly watching his eyes.

House kept eye contact with her, knowing that he'd pressed a button. "So does everyone else in this room."

Cuddy felt like she'd been slapped in the face. She leaned toward him, "If you have something to say then just say it House, you've never been subtle before, so why start now," she whispered harshly in his ear.

"Fine, I think that wearing something like that to an event like this makes you look desperate, and that the men here aren't showing you respect as much as they are leering at you. If you want to market yourself that way, that's your business, but right now you represent the entire hospital. You wonder where Voglar got the idea he could treat this hospital like a whore, doing whatever he pleased to whoever he wanted as long as he threw some cash around, maybe it was from seeing you." House said bluntly with serious features.

She felt her eyes burn some as his words had dug into her. "Fuck you House. I'm proud of my body and that doesn't make me some slut. I'm still your boss and I still run this hospital, and the only person here tonight that has treated me with any disrespect is you. I get that you have some body image issues considering yours looks like something out of a horror show, but that doesn't give you the right to insult me just because I show off some skin. I don't know what you think I owe you, but I sure as hell don't have to get permission from you to wear what I want, you don't own me House, no one does." she seethes while looking at him with disgust and hurt.

Wilson had sat by listening long enough, he could tell they had already hurt each other more than either of them deserved. "Can you two just shut up and act civil?" Wilson barked at them and looked around as another department head came and sat down at their table and Cuddy immediately stuck up a conversation and Wilson joined in too.

House slouched in the chair some propping both elbows on the table and holding his neck. He knew what his body looked like, but hearing it from the woman he loved had somehow made him even more self-conscious. Once again he questioned if he should go through with the show tonight, after all that had happened to him, getting up on as stage for display for all to see bothered him. Everyone in that room would see how weak he was, they would watch as he took each painful step with the crutches and notice the weight-loss along with the scar that ran along his neck.

Dr. Carter talked to the two of them looking at the silent man that sat in between looking lost in his thoughts every now and then. "So, how the hell did you two get House to show up this event?" He finally asked as his curiosity, along with everyone else in the room, was peeked by the mans appearance.

"Cuddy blackmailed me," House said said shortly.

Dr. Carter wasn't sure if that was suppose to be a joke or not. "Ah, well these little parties are fairly nice, not to mention they are for a good cause."

House watched him with cold eyes until he looked away and started talking to Cuddy again.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to try talking to some of the colleagues at this party," Wilson said looking at House and for the first time noticing how he was holding his neck. "You alright?"

"This was a stupid idea," House said softly looking around the room.

Cuddy looked at him as she heard his words, "House you aren't getting out of this. You promised, remember that." She said with an authoritative tone but frowned at the way he was holding his neck. "What's wrong with your neck?"

House's cold eyes met hers, "I'm just trying not to horrify anyone with my scars is all." He said flatly as he removed his hands.

Cuddy's frown deepened as Dr. Carter's eyes widened at the scars that ran along his neck, not all that different from the one a dog has from an embedded collar. "Jesus," Dr. Carter said with sympathy for the man in front of her. "Dr. House I just want to let you know my prayers will include you."

House looked at her with disbelieve and pushed himself up from the table, "I shouldn't have come," he said with a tight jaw, grabbing his crutches and starting to make his way from the table.

"I've got him," Cuddy said quickly jumping up and catching up to him, while leaving Wilson to deal with a confused Dr. Carter. "Greg stop," she said as she put a hand on his shoulder.

House turned his head to her quickly, "I shouldn't be here. All I am is someone for everyone to gawk at like a some dying animal or something." He said bitterly but with a soft voice.

Cuddy looked around to notice that the majority or the people were staring at him, some were even whispering amongst each other as they watched him. She sighed as she looked back at House. "They're idiots, so why do you care. They don't matter."

He sighed deeply and swallowed, "It was bad enough with the cane, but the crutches make me look even weaker... and then there are the scars. It's not like anyone will miss my presence."

"I will," she said back softly.

House searched her eyes, he wondered if she meant it or if she was just saying that to get him to stay. "Why?" He asked finally.

It hurt her that he had to ask why, "Because I care about you House and this cause, and so should you given what you..."

"Don't," he said softly interrupting her with warning and yet scared eyes.

Cuddy swallowed as she looked at him, "Please, don't go. I'll admit I was being a bitch if you can admit you were being an ass. Just don't go." House looked down as he slowly made his way back to the table with Cuddy following. "You know I didn't mean what I said right? I was just mad," she said softly behind him. She saw the slightest bob of his head a took it as a sign that he heard her, and sat down in her seat.

Wilson glanced between the two of them, with worry as neither of them looked all that relieved.

"I'm sorry, House, Wilson explained to me that you are an Atheist. I am glad you returned," Dr. Carter said with a sweet smile.

House rolled his eyes and looked to Wilson, "Thanks," he said sarcastically and then looked to Carter. "Don't worry about the God thing, I work around idiots all the time, I'm sure I can manage a stupid donor's party."

Carter face quickly changed from sweet to irritated, "May I ask why you decided to come back?"

House put on a fake smile, "Why of course you can. Cuddy blackmailed me again. She very casually threatened to blurt out some private things she learned about me after the attack in my home. I personally find it comforting to know that even at a person's most vulnerable she's using that time to attain ammunition against that person for later use; it lets me know she hasn't gone soft."

Carter looked to Cuddy with confusion, who in turn was staring at House blankly as she started to see how he could have interrupted their conversation. Wilson's lip twitched some, "He's joking of course," he said hoping to alleviate the tension in the air.

Carter nodded and more people started to sit at the table as Dr. Collin made his way on the stage and the room became quiet. Collin was thirty minutes into his speech when House bumped his leg against Cuddy's, who ignored him. He sighed and did it again, but once again she ignored it and she did the same thing the next two times. His heart raced as he could hear Collin getting toward the end of his speech, and decided he had no choice but to take this too the next level, sliding his hand under the table and onto her thigh.

Cuddy quickly grabbed his hand in a death grip holding it in the empty space between her leg and the table and turned her head to look at him with a glare, "Give me one good reason not to break you hand right now," she whispered.

"If you did then I wouldn't be able to do your little show tonight," he whispered back, "or walk." House added hesitantly.

She frowned and let go of his hand, "What do you want?"

House looked at her with sad features, there was so much he wanted that he was sure he'd never get. He wanted her. He wanted a family. He wanted to walk. He wanted to be HIV free. He wanted to not feel scared. He wanted to not hurt at the sight of her. He wanted so much that would never happen.

Cuddy noticed he paled some and concern swept over her, "Are you okay?"

Suddenly he snapped out of it and nodded, "I need you to say someone else wrote my song."

"It's a good song, you should be proud of it," she said back in a hushed voice.

House looked at the floor and away from the disappointment her eyes carried. "It's going to be hard enough singing it in front of everyone in the first place; I don't think I can do this if they know I wrote it."

Cuddy's frown deepened, "You don't have anything to be ashamed of. You should be proud."

"Proud of what? Proud that I allowed him to do what he did? Proud that I believed his lies? Proud that I survived, because obviously I'm the perfect picture of mental health. Tell me what I have to be proud of, Lisa," he said softly meeting her eyes

She swallowed and looked away, "Fine, you want me to just make up a name or did you have something in mind?"

"Make something up," House reply quietly.

Cuddy nodded then the audience erupted in clapping and she joined as Dr. Collin left the stage. She walked on stage, thanking Dr. Collin for all the information and then announced the first performer.

House felt his stomach tighten as it got closer and closer to his turn, the only relief being the servers who continuously were walking around with wine and the light chatting of the room.

"That was lovely Dr. Sing, now I'm happy to announce Dr. House will be performing Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer, Proud by William Grant, and Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers." Cuddy announced as House made his way on the stage with the crutches and to the piano bench. It irritated him at how much quieter the room seemed to get after his name was called and he looked the room over to see everyone but the waitstaff watching him. He let out a deep sigh as he stomach knotted some and tried to block them out as he let his fingers rest gently on the cool keys beneath them. He looked to the band to his side who gave him a nod, letting him know that they were ready when he was and with that he started. He closed his eyes as the notes of the beautiful melody filled the room and leaned slightly into the microphone as he started singing when suddenly a loud crash filled the room. House closed his eyes tightly as his fingers retreated from the piano.

"_How many times do I have to remind you that you only get one hour to play that silly piano a week!" John yelled at him._

_Greg looked at the clock to see he'd been playing for an hour and two minutes and swallowed. "I'm sorry sir, I was going to stop after this song."_

_John walked over with irritation, "That wasn't the agreement, Greg. Now put your fingers back on the keys."_

_Greg looked up at John, "Yes, sir," he said with a frown, doing as he was told._

"_I don't like doing this, but you have to learn that orders are orders," John said looking down at the boy. "This is your own fault."_

_Greg nodded, "I know, sir."_

_John quickly slammed the key cover on his fingers._

Wilson grimaced as House flinched suddenly. He intended to try and talk House into doing the rest of the show but the beads of sweat on his friends forehead along with his paled completion changed his mind. "House, let's go."

House opened his eyes to see Wilson standing beside him with concerned eyes, and looked around to see an audience with all eyes on him, "I'm fine, what happened?"

Wilson wished he'd sounded more confident. "A server dropped their tray," he said watching his friend closely.

House looked around to see the band and the rest of the room watching him with a mixture of curious and concerned faces. He swallowed as he realized he must have blanked out for a moment. "Did I say anything?"

Wilson shook his head, "No, now lets go."

"No, I'll finish," he said and Wilson nodded as he walked off stage then sat back down. House started the song over again.

"Is he okay?" Cuddy asked Wilson in a whisper.

Wilson swallowed as he watched his friend with concern. "I don't know," he replied softly.

By the end of the song House was feeling more relaxed and confident as he started the intro for Proud.

"Have you ever heard this song before?" Cuddy asked softy

"No," Wilson answered, "you?"

"I read it. It's very powerful," she said and listened.

House became one with his fingers playing the slow moving ballet with melodic notes that seemed to touch his soul like nothing else. He smiled slightly as the lyrics got closer.

"Here I am again  
>laying on the grass<br>My blood is seeping out  
>you yell, get off your ass.<p>

As I try to stand  
>I fall back down again<br>I hate to feel so weak  
>but bones are broken<p>

The doctor knows me,

they all do by now,

He asks for the truth,

but lies are all you allow" House sings softly then plays a bridge before going into the chorus.

"I will make you proud  
>See, I cry no tears<br>I don't scream out loud  
>I wont let into my fears<p>

Someday it'll be okay  
>It has to stop someday" He sings softly.<p>

"Wow," Wilson said with watered eyes. Not only was the song beautiful, but he'd never felt this proud to have House as a friend, as hard as this had to be for him, he was doing it.

Cuddy smiled, "It's pretty amazing isn't it," she said. She'd pushed him to open up, but honestly she'd never expected him to be able to, she wasn't sure she'd be strong enough she'd suffered like he had, but here he was sing and playing a song he'd written about his own abuse.

The melody stayed the same in tempo but became lighter and slightly crisper as the nights he remembered filled him.

"I can see the light  
>from your bedroom window<br>It's so cold out here  
>as I try to sleep in the snow.<p>

I can't help wonder  
>tied up by these chains<br>Am I your son  
>is this your blood in my veins<p>

If I shared your blood

Could you love me then

Would all be forgiven

and go to how it should've been" He sang with his voice holding hope in their cords and then played the bridge in slightly lower notes.

"Shit, this is dark. The music is beautiful but the words... are so cruel," Chase whispered watching with an odd fascination.

Cameron frowned, "I've never heard anything like it," she whispered back.

"I will make you proud  
>See, I cry no tears<br>I don't scream out loud  
>I wont let into my fears<p>

Someday it'll be okay  
>It has to stop someday" He sung, his voice stronger, as the music progressed into some darker tones.<p>

I feel them on me  
>I can feel them inside<br>I know this is wrong  
>I wish for somewhere to hide.<p>

I crawl out bare  
>You ask if I learned my lesson<br>I beg you to kill me  
>and you tell me a confession.<p>

I'm not your son  
>you never loved me<br>you think I'll break  
>but I'm so happy" House sang lower with as a chill ran up his spine, and sighed softly as he played the bridge tenderly.<p>

Kutner's mouth hung up as he thought about the words and the darker almost eerie tones of the melody. "Jesus Christ, did that sound like what I thought it was suppose to be about?" he whispered.

"Who knows what it meant, only the writer knows that," Foreman said but the worried look he wore said he too was concerned. Thirteen didn't say a word as she wiped away some tears.

"I will make you proud  
>See, I cry no tears<br>I don't scream out loud  
>I wont let into my fears<p>

Someday it'll be okay  
>It has to stop someday" House sang and smiled as he knew the song was coming to an end as the tones lightened some back to how the song had started.<p>

Before I leave,  
>I walk to you and say<br>I'll never forgive  
>what you did to me that day.<p>

You smile at me  
>Tell me that you're proud<br>It's all I ever wanted  
>for you to say it out loud.<p>

It shouldn't mean a thing

Coming from you

Yet it means the world

To a boy who's black and blue," He sang feeling relieved to let some of it out, without them knowing he was talking about himself, and played the bridge one more time.

"I will make you proud  
>See, I cry no tears<br>I don't scream out loud  
>I wont let into my fears<p>

Someday it'll be okay  
>It has to stop someday<p>

Oh yeah, it has to stop someday..." He finished softly letting his voice fade off as he played the last little bit of the music and the audience applauded.

Taub swallowed, "You think he was abused," he said softly glancing at Thirteen.

Thirteen looked back at him with serious features, "Does he show symptoms of an adult survivor of child abuse?" She asked cynically.

Taub's frown deepened as they both knew he did.

House stood up with the crutches and moved to a stool by a microphone that was closer to the edge of the stage while a set guy brought out his new white flying V guitar that Wilson bought to replace the one he'd destroyed and stand. The man took House's crutches off stage and also brought out a House's saxophone and stand then left. House smirked as he looked out at the crowd of people who looked a little confused. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm Doctor House. Most of you know of me, but for you out there that don't, there is something you should know. While I'm a very good doctor, I'm a bad man. If you don't take my word, then you can surely take the word of my many colleagues. Now some men might try to fight this, but I embrace it." He said and with that he picked up the guitar and started playing Bad to the Bone.

Wilson smiled as House was smiling as he played the guitar and he was glad House had decided to go on with the show. House flirted as he sang the song, winking and wagging his eyebrows as his deep sultry voice filled the room, then he grabbed his saxophone when the solo for it came up and half the audience clapped as he played it; most surprised by how talented he was on such a variety of instruments. Cuddy grinned as the room was getting to see the playful side of House that he so rarely showed, and they seemed to be loving it. He put the saxophone down at the end of the solo, picking up the guitar in its place and laughing as he played the hell out that solo too. When the lyrics started up again the audience joined in on singing the verse 'bad to the bone', and a standing ovation was waiting for him when he finished.

**Alright everyone! Hope you liked this chapter, we definitely got to see a little more of the cut-throat ass that House can be in this and I can't wait to hear what everyone thought of the chapter! Nicole :)**


	89. Chapter 89: Like Old Times

_Guest, I love this story, it's truly my favorite and to not finish it would tear me apart. It is because of my devotion to wanting to put the quality of writing it deserves into it that sometime make it take longer to updated then I would wish. My goal is to update every two weeks, and sometimes I fail. Hopefully I wont two weeks from now. Cuddy will learn about the HIV threat fairly soon in the story, it's a very important progression in the story. I would like to play with the idea of Rachel and House spending some time with each other... but I'm not sure when, that isn't to say you wont see it in a later chapter, just that I don't which chapter yet. Thank you so much for the ideas and interest in my story, and I hope you enjoy the newest chapter. - Nicole_

Wilson wasn't all that surprised when House passed their table after the performance and continued towards the door. "I'm pretty sure that's my que that he's ready to go. I'll see you on Monday," he said to Cuddy as he stood up and made his way to House.

House was almost to the doors when he felt a hand gently grab his arm and looked back to see Cameron with Chase standing beside her. "I just wanted to let you know that your performance was amazing," she said as she let go of his arm.

"Seriously, House, you were great," Chase said looking happily surprised.

"Still, I'm not signing her bra, it's too small for my awesome signature," House said deflecting their complements.

Cameron smirked at him, "Well that's good to know, considering I'm not wearing one."

House noticed the sleeveless dress and nodded as he looked back up at her, "Isn't it troubling that no one can tell the difference when you are?" He asked raising his eyebrows as he felt more like his old self.

"Hey, you ready to go," Wilson said as he finally reached House and gave Chase and Cameron and polite smile.

"Night, House," Chase said with a humorous smile.

"You're girlfriend still has the hots for me, especially now that she's seen how fast I can strum a guitar string," House said suggestively to Chase. "Not that I or anyone else can blame her... I'm pretty amazing; her words, not mine, but try to make sure she doesn't ruin anything with all the drooling she's doing," he said with a smirk.

Cameron rolled her eyes, "Well it seems like you are getting back to you're old self, though I'm not sure if that's really a good thing or not," she said but the smile on her face said she was happy about it.

"You don't look too disappointed," House said with a flirty smile and then looked to Chase. "Seriously, she's got major daddy issues, you should take her somewhere and get her checked out."

"Wow, if I didn't know better I would say it sounded like you care," Chase said with a knowing look and a smile.

House narrowed his eyes some as he looked at the pair of them. They actually seemed happy and somewhere deep down he was happy for them and wanted it to work for them, even if he wouldn't come right out and say that. He sighed and his face contorted into something that somewhat resembled care and concern. "Of course I care, if you two don't work out then you'll both start bugging me with your incessant whining, and then I might finally loose it and kill one of you, which means I'd go to jail and unfortunately be roomed up with a huge guy named Desmond. Do you know of anything funny that rhymes with Desmond? Of course not, and neither do, but I won't be satisfied until come up with something and of course Desmond won't make it easy and change his name to something that has more potential like Chandler. Now Chandler the philander would be funny."

Wilson at some point had gotten captivated by House's story, "How do you know he wouldn't change his name, you've never met him?"

"Desmond's a dick, believe me, I know," House said adamantly.

Cameron gave him an amused smile, "You can give any excuse you want, but the point is that you care and I think this new thing you're trying is working. I'm proud of you House." She said, she wanted to add that she though the break-in and attack at his place had been a blessing because he'd changed for the better since it happened, but bit her tongue.

House looked at Chase with a serious expression, "Really, you need to get her head checked out, she's obviously lost her mind, or maybe she's drunk, either way I'm bored and going home." He said and left with Wilson following him.

"That was nice," Wilson said as they got into his car.

"Nice? That was awesome! No one's going to beat that performance tonight," House said as he buckled himself in.

"I was talking about Chase and Cameron," Wilson said looking at him.

House knew that look, that was the 'I want to talk about this' look. He sighed, "Cameron was just being nice because of the scene she made in the lobby, and trying to gauge if I was still pissed at her. Now, we should move on to my rock star qualities." He said with a grin.

Wilson couldn't help but smile back, "You were really good."

"I know!" House said with a real smile, "I even impressed myself on the saxophone solo. I hardly practiced but being up on a stage with everyone cheering you on, it's like a drug."

"So... I've never heard anything quite like _Proud_, except for your original works," Wilson said glancing at him as he drove.

"Was there a question in there somewhere?" House retorted, giving Wilson some hell as he finally felt like he had the energy to do so.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Did you write it?" he asked.

"Yeah, when I was in college," House said and sighed, "and no, I don't want to talk about it. I'd much rather bath in the glory of my awesomeness."

He gave up easier than he normally would have because House was actually in a good mood and he didn't want to ruin it. He glance at House to see a small smile still on his face as his fingers moved on his leg as if he was playing a tune only he could hear and an idea hit Wilson. "How does a six pack and some pizza sound tonight?" he asked with a smile of his own.

House laughed loud, "perfect."

House made the call for the pizza while Wilson drove and Wilson couldn't help but smile as House recited Wilson's credit card number by memory. Wilson ran in an convenience store and quickly grabbed a six pack of beer and soon after they were parking in front of his apartment.

House got out first and stopped at the beginning of the ramp that Wilson had gotten the second day of his arrival. House looked at the ramp and smiled some as he heard Wilson come up behind him. "I think you can get rid of the ramp now," House said then walked up it with his crutches and went in the building.

Wilson sighed as a smile appeared on his face; House was getting better and the idea of getting rid of the reminder of how bad it had been made him happy too, but he'd worry with it tomorrow on his day off, maybe he'd donate it to Goodwill. By the time he made it in the apartment House was coming out of his room dressed in a pair of sleep pants and a tee shirt. So Wilson started to go back towards his room to change too.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" House said as plopped down on the end of the couch.

Wilson walked back into the living room, "To change, if that's alright with you," he said back wondering what he was doing wrong.

"With out giving me a beer first?" House said back over his should, "I would have gotten one myself, but my hands were kind of full with the crutches and all."

Wilson sighed as he grabbed a beer for House, "Sorry, I was assuming you had the patience of an adult, but I should know better by now and know you have the patience of a small child."

"See, Jimmy, this is why we work, you know me so well," House said as he plucked the beer from Wilson's hand. "Now why don't get into something more comfortable," he said wagging his eye brows, "and we'll watch two overly muscled, sweaty guy roll around on top of each other," he added and gave one of his obvious winks at Wilson.

Wilson laughed, "You know one of these day's I'm going to take you seriously," he said as he made his way towards his room.

"Oh don't lie, we both know if I were to ever put a move on you, you'd jump on me faster than Pooh Bear on honey. I'm everything you want, thin, big pretty eyes, needy, love your cooking, and am down for threesome's!" House yelled down the hall at him.

Wilson was laughing the whole way to his room and took some deep breaths to calm down as he started changing. He'd forgotten how funny House could be or how good it felt to really laugh for more than a couple of seconds. He'd forgotten how much he missed old House with his crude and inappropriate jokes and it was nice to have him back some. He only hoped it would last longer than a night. He quickly grabbed the first pair of pajama bottom he could find and shirt then half ran back out into the living room, grabbing a beer on the way.

House already had wrestling on and when Wilson walked past him to sit on the other side of the couch House had to stop himself from spitting beer everywhere as he laughed. Wilson raised an eyebrow as he looked at the TV to see nothing all that funny. Well the costumes were ridiculous, but that was normal. "What's got you in the giggles?" Wilson said as he put his beer down on the end table and looked down at House.

House shook his head, "I don't get the giggles... women get the giggles, and did you even look at what you were putting on?" he asked with a big smile as he looked at Wilson's pants.

Wilson looked down to see he was wearing the black pants with red kisses all over them that usually only wore when a girlfriend was staying the night. He blushed, but tried to brush it off, "So what, they're pajama bottoms."

"With kisses on them," House interjected with a glint in his eye. "Jimmy, darling, when I said get into something more comfortable I didn't mean you had to pull out the good garments for me," he said with a cheeky grin.

Wilson rolled his eyes as he blushed more, "If it's that distracting then I'll change, do you want me to do that?" he asked trying not to show how embarrassed he was.

House roared in laughter, "You're face..(laughing) is the ….(more laughing) same color...(more laughing and coughing) as the kisses!" he finally got out and tried to calm down so he would get in a coughing fit from laughing so hard. "Oh... oh, god... that's classic," he said taking deep breaths as he looked up at Wilson.

Wilson's face was in fact so red he could feel the heat of it and as irritated as he was over his embarrassment looking down at the joy on House's face made it hard to be mad at him. "Well I hate to burst your bubble, but your face is red too," he said with slight annoyance.

"Just tell me those aren't you're sexy pajamas that you wear for the ladies," House said as he tried to regain control, but it was hard, he hadn't laughed that good in... well... months.

Wilson blinked rapidly at the question and twitched his shoulder in a half shrug, "No, of course not, their just a pair that an old girlfriend bought me." He said and turned around to sit down on the couch and heard another fit of laughter erupted from his friend.

"They're...( laughing) on your ASS!" House said in delight as he laughed harder and felt some tears run down his face. He got control of it a little faster this time and leaned back in the couch, a little tired from all the laughing. "You so wear those as your sexy time pants," House said with a smile at Wilson.

"I don't wea..." Wilson started but was cut of by House.

"You throw away gifts from old girlfriends. I should know, I've helped you do it, except for stuff that Amber gave you, but those things are too old for that by the fading. Also there are some places where the seem has been re-sewn up, and if these were any normal pair of pajama bottoms you'd have thrown them away, but they aren't... are they Wilson?" House said with a smirk.

Wilson's face was slowly fading into a light pink instead of red, "Girls like them," he said as he took his seat on the couch.

"Well that's disturbing, what little girls have you been trying to seduce with your pajama bottoms?" House said with a glint in his eye as he looked at Wilson.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "I meant women and you know that. Seriously, do I need to go change," he asked as he started to get up.

House pushed him back gently with his hand on Wilson's chest, "No, it fine, long as you know that the seduction powers of you kissy pants wont work on me," he said with a soft chuckle and looked back at the wrestling.

Wilson had been surprised by the touch since House had been refraining from touching him and everyone else, except Cuddy, unless it was absolutely necessary. It hadn't been a really long touch, but it wasn't incredibly quick either, it felt natural like old times. He let out a relieved sigh as he situated himself more comfortably in the couch, taking a sip of his cold beer and started watching the wrestling match, and of course that was when the door bell rang. Wilson sighed as he looked the door with irritation.

"You going to get that?" House asked while taking a sip of his beer and saw the annoyed look he got from Wilson. "Hey, don't get pissy at me, I'd love to be the one with two good legs," he said with a smirk.

Wilson dropped the irritated look and got up of the couch as the delivery person rang the bell again. He opened the door and put on cheery smile, even though he'd been happier if he'd gotten to get half way through his beer first. "Hello," Wilson said and the delivery girl looked up with gave him a cheerful smile back. He couldn't help but notice that she was pretty damn hot, even in the pizza uniform.

"Good evening sir, I have a pizza for a Dr. Wilson, is that you?" She said as she made an odd face at the end of it after noticing Wilson's pants.

Wilson blushed slightly as the girl gave him a big smile with slightly blushed cheeks too. "Yes, I'm Dr. Wilson, you probably couldn't tell by what I'm wearing but we have to take off the white coats some of the time." He said trying to ease the tension.

"Yes, sir, I understand completely, even doctors date. I do need to see some ID though, a drivers license would be preferable." She said with a smile.

"Is that really necessary?" Wilson asked with his flirtatious smile.

The girls smile faded some, "Umm... yes it is, and I don't appreciate you looking at me like that, especially when you've obviously got company." She said, this wasn't her first rodeo, she'd rather lose a tip then allow men to think they could get out of following policy because she was decent looking woman with blond hair.

"I wasn't... um, sorry, I'll go and get my ID," Wilson said stumbling over his words. "You should come in while I find it," he added trying to be polite.

She gave him a skeptical look and he swallowed as he left to find his ID. She was a bit nervous and peeked her head in to see another man sitting on the couch.

"What the hell is taking you so long Wilson! I swear if I don't get some food in my stomach soon, your night isn't going to end the way you'd like it too," House said and looked at the door to see the delivery girl and no Wilson in sight. He quickly looked around and looked back at the girl with questioning eyes.

She blushed as she suddenly realized she must have been mistaken about the look he gave her. "He went to get his ID. I have to see an ID now when people use credit card, you know policies and all."

House quirked up an eyebrow and looked back as he heard Wilson running back to the door. "Sorry it took so long, I took my clothes off in the dark so my pants got tossed in a corner," he said trying to let her know that he wasn't purposefully trying to waste her time.

She smiled awkwardly, "Really you don't have to explain, I get it. It's... well it's... fine." She quickly looked over the ID and handed him the credit card slip along with a pen.

Wilson gave her a confused look and then looked over to House who had a knowing smile. He felt like he was some how out of the loop between the delivery girl and House. "Okay.." he said and filled out the slip, giving the girl a good size tip for her troubles and signing it, then handed it back along with the pen. "Thank you," he said to the girl.

She sighed and looked at him with apologetic eyes, "I'm sorry Dr. Wilson for the accusation earlier, it's apparent that I'm not... well, your type," she said gently, "and I was wrong to accuse you of anything."

Wilson gave her a more confused look and then looked to House who had on an evil grin.

"Darling, I'm staving and cold, hurry up with the food and come cuddle me," House said with an overly sweet smile, to which, Wilson gave House a glare.

"You two seem sweet," the pizza girl said then took the pizza out of the bag and handed to Wilson and was gone.

Wilson closed the door with a little more force then necessary. Why did he miss the old House again? He looked at House with frustration, "Thanks for that," he said sarcastically.

"Hey, your kissy pants started it," House said back as he watched Wilson grab some plates. "Also, grab me another beer while you're in there."

Wilson gave House a bitter smile, "Yeah, I'll get right on that," he said coming back to the couch with no beer.

House rolled his eyes, "What you're punishing me for having a little fun," he stated.

"Something like that," Wilson said as he handed him a plate and opened the pizza box on the coffee table.

House sighed loudly as he scooted to the edge of the couch, "Well, then it seems like I'll just have to get my own beer."

Wilson thought about letting him, but then he thought about how that would play out, the beers were on the bottom shelve of the refrigerator, which meant House wouldn't be to reach them while supporting himself with either of the crutches, which meant he'd have to fall to get them. Wilson sighed, if that happened he could be assured that House would completely lose his good mood. "FINE," he stated and got up to go get the man his beer, "but just so you know, you're an ass."

House scoffed which earned him a warning glance from Wilson, "You're such a pessimist, you don't even see the good in this situation," he said with a half smile.

"Tell me House, what good is there in this? I can't use this pizza place anymore and you just embarrassed me in front of the delivery girl." Wilson stated.

"No, actually I just gave you a pass to ogle her without her suspecting anything, women look at gay men as harmlessly as they look at another woman. The next time you stare at her rack she'll think it's because you want one too or that you like her shirt, either way is better than her thinking you're a old perv. And by the way you're a hypocrite, you acted all kinds of mad when Cuddy was embarrassed for people to think she might be having something to do with me, but obviously you don't think I'm that much of a catch either." House said watching his friend.

Wilson was surprised, House had a point, it was better to be thought of as gay then a creep. "Alright, your right, and I wasn't embarrassed that she though I was with you, I was embarrassed that she thought I was gay." He said as he was walking back to House with beer in hand, while holding his hands in a surrendering motion.

"Oh, wow... you think she's the only person to ever suspect you were gay?" House said as he grabbed the beer while watching Wilson with wide eyes and a smile.

Wilson frown back, "I'm sure there's been one or two more, probably people that you told I was gay for some sort of joke," he said retorted as he sat down.

"Well, I'm sure you're right about that," House said with a smirk and took a bite of pizza.

Wilson didn't like that smirk and took a swig of beer and grabbed himself a slice of pizza too. "I'm not going to fall for the bait," he said taking a bite of pizza.

"Fine," House said and leaned back into the couch watching the game. He kept a neutral expression as he could feel Wilson's eyes still on him.

Wilson got through his first slice of pizza and his first beer before he couldn't take it anymore. "So why do you think that people think I'm gay?" he asked half hating himself for taking the bait as he was coming back from getting himself another beer.

"Well, people asking me if you're gay is an indication," House said casually.

"Who's asked you if I'm gay?!" Wilson asked with shocked features.

House took a sip of beer, "Who **hasn't** would be an easier question to answer," he said with a smile.

Wilson narrowed his eyes on House, "This is just you screwing with me, right?"

"Nope and quit acting like you're surprised. You take a longer time to get ready in the morning then Stacy did, you're also sweeter than her, and nag about the same amount. But don't get your panties in a twist, I mean with your good looks and talents in the kitchen it was bound to happen." House said honestly.

Wilson frowned, "You're serious? People think I'm gay?"

"Not everyone, but people have asked. Cuddy thought you were gay, so did half the nurses until I told them that not all the cute ones were and since then they've all tried to get a piece of you." House said with a pleased smile. "And of course there were some of the gay staff members that asked when you first got hired on, back when other staff members and me actually talked on occasions." House said and stuffed half a piece of pizza in his mouth.

"That's attractive," Wilson said with a grimace and saw the 'see, what I mean' look on House's face and sighed, "So... did you ever think I was gay?"

House struggled to swallow his bite and took a sip of beer to help it down. "Not for long, only the first two to three years."

Wilson was stunned, "I was MARRIED then, how could you think I was gay when I was married?"

"Honestly, I thought you were in denial or that you hadn't figured it out yet," House said grabbing his third slice.

Wilson scoffed, "Only you would be so egotistical to think that YOU'D know my sexual preferences better than ME."

"It's one of prices for usually being right, but I knew you were keeping something from me." House said with a smirk. "I knew no one could be THAT nice all the time, but I will give you props for lasting over two years before you finally lost your cool with me."

Wilson smiled some, "You'd make a saint loose it, House."

House smirked back, "I know, I have, and yet I still find it to be a bigger accomplishment to get you to show that you're human and can be an ass from time to time."

Wilson rolled his eyes as he swallowed another bite of pizza. "Speaking of deception, 'mister I can't get another job anywhere else because my method have made me black balled', how many offers have you gotten like the one you did tonight from the Mayo Clinic?"

House shrugged, "Usually I get a couple a week."

"And yet you've never told me about this," Wilson said while appraising him. "Now why would you keep something like that a secret?" He asked rhetorically while thinking. "Hmm... could it be because you love New Jersey? No, no, that doesn't fit, you'd have to like people for that to make any sense. Maybe it's your team that keeps you here, you obviously care about them... but wait, didn't that guy from the Mayo clinic offer to hire you're team as well, and working at the Mayo Clinic would help advance their careers... so that's not it. Hmmm... that also means it couldn't be me, because he offered to hire me too. So who does that leave?" He asked with a slight grin.

House rolled his eyes, "This isn't about Cuddy you moron."

"Fine, for theoretical purposes lets say you're right, that it has nothing to do with Cuddy, not that I completely believe that. What other things does staying here offer? There's your small apartment and.." Wilson was about to go on when House interrupted.

"There, you figured it out. I'm lazy and don't want to move," House said sarcastically.

Wilson knew he was on the right track by how quick House was to dismiss the idea. "The apartment you shared with Stacy, cooking with her, sharing a bed with her, losing her..." he said softer as he saw the warning look House was giving him. "The same apartment that we've had a thousand beers in, the one that you managed to accomplish walking with the cane in after the infarction, all these memories that happened in one place, in your home. The hospital is the same in that way. You know ever inch of that place. You've worked thousands of cases, solving most and losing some patients along the way. You were shot there in you're very office, lost you're ability to walk there by your first love with consent from the woman you were going to propose too." Wilson said with a frown, "And yet you've played a million jokes on people there, and can still remember what it was like to run through the halls instead of limping through them. You've hired people who have mattered to you and that care about you, so much that they too refuse to move on to other places. People say that a home is wherever you are, but to someone who never stayed in one place for more than a couple of months... that isn't the case is it?" He watched House swallow but House still stayed silent. "There are so many bad memories, that most people would welcome the chance to leave and make better ones some place else."

"Running from bad memories don't make them go away, if it did them maybe I'd be a better person, but it doesn't. The really bad memories stick with you forever, but the good ones... well they can start to fade more as time goes by. It's why we need photo albums to remember the people we care about when we don't get to see them all the time, but don't need even a single picture to remember the people who hurt us. Any other place I go, I wont be able to remember running through the halls, or stolen kiss, or falling in love. Any other hospital than this one won't have that and considering who I am, not to even mention the illness I probably have, there may never be new memories of those kind. As depressing as it can be at times to look around my apartment and remember how happy I was with Stacy there and missing that, it would be worse to look around an not have any memories of me being happy." He half laughed, "Even you... things have changed since.. since the bus crash, and I understand why I even expected it too, but in my apartment I can still remember what it was like to laugh and talk to you without the added tension... and guilt." He said looking down and taking the last swig of his second beer.

Wilson's lip twitched, he'd forgiven House the best he could, but he knew he and House would never forget what happened and that there would always be a different feel to the air around them because of it. "I'm sorry I gave you hell about not taking the offer. It's a good reason not to take it, there really are some things that money can't buy." He said with warm eyes.

"Tell me about it, it seems like the only things I want are things that can't be bought," House said with a bitter smile.

Wilson swallowed, "Well that makes you a better man than most," he said with a small smile.

"Hey, I'm running on empty here." House said holding up his beer and not acknowledging the complement. "Now let's get back to the wrestling, I've had enough enlightening conversations for the week. It's time to watch men being idiots for my entertainment."

"I can drink to that," Wilson said as he brought back a cold beer for each of them and sat back down looking at House and smiled. "You know, if I were gay I think we'd make a pretty good couple."

House chuckled as he opened his beer, "So you think if you were gay that I'd automatically turn for you, you might be good looking Wilson but you're no Chase."

Wilson scoffed, "Chase doesn't have shit on me, he might have looks on his side but we both know I'd always have your heart," he said with smile.

House gave Wilson a smirk, "Do I need to start locking my doors at night?"

"If you want, just remember, I have the only key," Wilson said back with a chuckle.

"I would say kiss my ass, but considering what you're wearing you might take that literally," House retorted.

**Once again, sorry about the length of time it took me to get the new chapter up. I do hope it was worth the wait and that you will let me know what you think. Thanks everyone. - Nicole**


	90. Chapter 90: Taking the Good with the Bad

_Guest, Thanks I really put a lot of thought into the House/Wilson relationship. And don't worry there is plenty to come, this is going to be a really long story! Thanks for the review, - Nicole_

_Houseshead13, I'm happy you're enjoying the story. I hate it took me so long to get a chapter written but now these chapter are going to start flowing some, since the next couple of chapters are intense. Thanks for the review, - Nicole_

_Piena, sorry for keeping you waiting. I'm really trying to get them out quicker, we'll see what happens. Thanks for the interest, - Nicole_

_SomebodyNobody, I in fact wrote proud about 10 mouths ago one night when I was thinking about this scene that I knew I wanted to write. I'm happy it was so well received. I personal would say none of my stories are as good as this one, even though I think the other stories are good, this is my heart and soul. Also many of the questions you asked about will be addressed in the next 5-10 chapters. ;) Thanks for the lovely review, - Nicole_

House felt anxious as Wilson was driving them to his therapy session, "So, you sent your thing to her?" he asked rubbing his legs.

"Yeah, I sent mine in Monday," Wilson said glancing at House and back to the road. "I know Cuddy sent hers in Tuesday. How about your team, did they send theirs in?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask," House said with as he squirmed in his seat some, "This was a stupid idea," he said with dread.

"No it wasn't, it'll be fine," Wilson said with confidence.

"Yes it was. I already know what people think of me. I don't need to hear her repeat it," House grumbled.

Wilson sighed, "You know, every now and then you're wrong about something. I think this is one of those things."

"Just because you think I'm... okay doesn't mean everyone else has lost their mind and agrees with you," he said looking at his hands and swallowed. "I'm a smart ass. I'm awkward at my best and downright cold most of the time when interacting about human emotions. I've never been liked, respected maybe, but... I'm not like you." House said with his head hanging as he looked at Wilson.

Wilson glanced at House, "You say that like it's a bad thing. Look, we're here, maybe I'm right or maybe you're right, either way we won't know until you go in." He said and got out of the car.

House sighed with frustration and walked in with his crutches. Three minutes later he was sitting on the couch in her office drumming his fingers against his legs.

Dr. Ryan smiled at him with a file folder in front of her. "This isn't a report card where you pass or fail," she said, "you passed the moment you told the people closest to you that you were in therapy and allowed them to help in the process."

"So this was some kind of trick to see if I'd tell people I'm seeing a psychiatrist?" He asked hostilely.

"No," she said back sincerely, "it was the only way for you to honestly get to see how people who know you see you, but by telling people about the therapy you opened up to them and even asked them to help you. From what I've read in these faxes and from spending time with you myself, I have to say this is something you seem to have a hard time doing, and because of that I already see this is a large step in the right direction."

"Great," House said anxiously with sarcasm, "now can you just tell me what all of those faxes add up too."

"That you're a good person, Greg," Dr. Ryan said with a smile.

He frowned, "No it doesn't, and you're just saying that."

She wished he could see himself the way others did. "I'm telling you the truth, there was very little on the negative sides and lots of things on the positive side."

House rolled his eyes, "Well, then they are talking about my work as a doctor and not me as a person."

Dr. Ryan opened the file and started reading from the top page, "Dr. House's worst trait is his self-destructive behavior. He can also be harsh with his words, but it seems like this is done in an attempt to keep people at a distance from him other than a real indication of how he feels about people. His depression is a real concern as is his lack of care to himself." She stopped and looked up at him, "That was all the negatives for this paper."

House shrugged, "Then it's Cuddy's or Wilson's and they're trying to take it easy on me."

"This was sent from Dr. Remy Hadley aka Thirteen." Dr. Ryan said with a small smile, "Now for the good. He's a great teacher; he pushes all of his fellows to think for themselves. He's got a good heart although he would never admit it. He's the one that pushed me to get tested for Huntington's disease and he's the only person who lent a hand when he saw me spiraling downhill once I got the results. He cares far more than he'd ever say. He is passionate about his work, it's amazing to see how invested he is in every case. He's loyal to a fault. He's honest with you, even when the truth isn't what you want to hear. He's never boring and always a challenge. He's brave and courageous for those he cares about. You can always come to him with a problem and know he'll tell you exactly what he thinks, even if it's harsh, it's always helpful. He can keep a secret." She smiled at him, "So, was that what you were expecting?"

He swallowed, "No, but she's being too nice about it. I'm an ass. Do you have any clue of how I got her to do a test for Huntington's? First I messed with her coffee and watched as she got worried about her shaking hands and then looked in her wallet to see an old picture of her mother, who I Googled to find out she died fairly young of long term illness. Then I questioned her about it and when she told me it was Huntington's her mother died from and that she didn't want to be tested, I took a water bottle she left behind and tested it myself. When I tried to give her the results she refused to look at them and left, but I kept bringing it up every now and then and she finally decided to test herself."

"Greg, although your methods might not be conventional, all I'm hearing is someone who was concerned about another person and tried to figure out what was wrong, and then when they did they tried to push the other person to deal with their troubles instead of ignoring them. What about that do you find so wrong?" Dr. Ryan asked.

"It wasn't any of my business, she has a right to keep things private from me and the rest of the world but I... was curious and stuck my nose in it anyway." House said with frustration at the idea she didn't see anything wrong with his actions.

She sighed, "That's what people do who care about you. Doesn't Dr. Wilson stick his nose into your life at times and Dr. Cuddy? Didn't your mother or father? It's not always something we want, but the people who care about us the most are usually going to butt in from time to time."

House rolled his eyes, why was everyone pretending that everything he did was some great thing now. "Read Foreman's, he'll be more honest."

Dr. Ryan shook her head some as she pulled out Foreman's fax. "Bad: Self-destructive, Overly Prideful, Annoyingly Right, Equates Emotions as Weakness, Obsessive, self-centered, enjoys humiliating others. Good: Brilliant, Loyal, Observant, Won't let you lie even to yourself, Honest, Self-sacrificing, stands up for what he believes in, committed, dependable." She read and looked at him.

"He said I was dependable?" House asked surprised by that trait more than any of the others.

"Does that surprise you? How often do you take off a day from work? How often are you not there for your team when they need you?" She asked him with warm eyes.

He shrugged, "That's not being dependable. That's doing my job. I don't find you dependable because you are here during our scheduled appointment, that's your job."

"Okay, so you don't ever take calls or help them with patients after hours? You never put your personal needs aside to help your team with a patient?" Dr. Ryan asked with a small knowing smile.

House licked his lips, "It's... a distraction, and I use them and my patients as a distraction from my own issues or problems. I'm not noble."

She wished he'd stop trying excuse anything good someone saw in him. "Everyone uses distractions from time to time, Greg, not just you. The distractions we chose still say something about who we are. You can't tell me you don't see a difference in a heroin addict and yourself. You choose to be useful and help people." She said watching as he thought about what she was saying. "Greg, no one see's you as this horrible person, but you."

"Maybe that's because they didn't see all the people I killed or because they need to see good even if it isn't there so that they can feel good about working for me." He said in a raised voice and scoffed shaking his head. "They don't even know me!"

"But Wilson does, let's see what he says," Dr. Ryan said getting out his fax.

"Stop," House said with irritation, "I don't need to hear his comforting two page paper about how I'm really a decent guy if you look at me with one eye closed and squinting the other eye while tilting your head."

"It's four actually," She answered and sighed. "One of the bad traits he mentioned was that you had an inability to see any real good in yourself. He says you will complement yourself in a mocking tone, and if anyone else tries to say something good about you face to face you have to negate it. So far, it sounds like he's right." She waited to see if he would say anything and when he didn't she pushed a little more. "Were you complemented a lot as a child?"

"Don't... just.. listen to what I'm saying," he said watching her.

"Fine, I'll listen," Dr. Ryan said softly.

"I'm not a good man. I'm just... I'm not. That's why I feel bad inside because I'm a bad person. That's why I'm not happy and never can be happy. I get that, I'm just here to try and take the misery down a notch not to fool myself into thinking I'm a good guy." House said imploringly.

She swallowed, "Can I see your list?" He chewed his lips as he took it out of his wallet and handed it to her and she read it.

_Bad – Murderer, arrogant, self-absorbed, needy, pathetic, ungrateful, rude, sarcastic, self-loathing, jealous, mean, hurt others emotionally, afraid, manipulative, spread my misery to others, cold, product of rapist, a waste of others time, coward, bastard, weak, unlovable, unacceptable._

_Good – Truthful (although I use it to manipulate people at times), smart (ass), loyal to my friends (although I usually bring them more pain than good)._

Dr. Ryan looked up at him with concern, "You even did it to yourself. Everything on the Good side is somehow torn down. Greg, do you really feel this way about yourself or are you just repeating what's been said to you?"

House scoffed, "Everything on there is true, I know who I am, and what I am!"

She'd known his self-esteem wasn't high, but she was astonished that such an amazing and respected man could think so little of himself as a person and she knew most of this had nothing to do with what he did in the Military. She stood up, she needed him to see how bad it was and that something had to change. House was different from all her other patients and her normal methods weren't working, so it was time to change it up. She was nervous as she raised her hand back and slapped his face.

Greg looked back up at her with surprise, "What the hell?"

Dr. Ryan frowned at how his hands stayed at his side; his body seemed to lean farther back in the couch instead of in a defending position. She slapped him again, to see him keep his eyes on the floor with a tense jaw. It broke her heart and frustrated her all at the same time. She licked her lips and swallowed before leaning down and kissing him on the lips.

House felt her warm moist lips on his and felt a pain in his chest as he pushed her away from him. "Stop," he said as he stared at her with accusing eyes as she almost fell from the amount of force he'd used. His eyes watered slightly as his tongue licked his lips.

"That, that right there is what I'm talking about. I slap you and you retreat, which is giving me permission to hurt you, but when I kissed you, tried to comfort you in some way, you pushed me away. It's supposed to be the other way around. You're supposed to stop people from hurting you and allow people to comfort you," she said standing and looking down at him with worried eyes.

He swallowed and looked down, "Are you... alright?"

Dr. Ryan didn't see how he could be blind to his own compassion. "Are you?" she asked back.

House opened his mouth but nothing came out. _What the hell is wrong with me? _"No," he finally said looking up at her. "No, I'm not."

Her eyes widened. Had her stunt really worked? "What's wrong?" she asked looking at him with hope.

His chin shook some, "I hate who I am and I don't know how to forgive myself," he said with vulnerability in his eyes.

"You're not a murderer, you did..." but she stopped as she saw him shaking his head.

"Not for that, for being so weak... for believing his lies.. for believing he loved me... for needing his approval. He," House swallowed hard and took in a deep breath, "my father, abused me and I just let it happen," he said letting out the breath

Dr. Ryan felt her eyes swell with tears. He'd finally said it, this was a huge step. "It can stop. He's dead, the only power he has over you now is the power you give him."

"I loved him," he said with disgust, "and he used that against me. He used my trust and love for him to turn me into him."

"But he failed. You heal people and he hurt people. You are not him," she said with confidence.

"How do I take back control?" House asked her, he wasn't sure if he could succeed, but he was ready to try.

Dr. Ryan smiled as she set across from him, "You stop putting yourself down, you start recognizing your accomplishments. You need to quit separating yourself into two different people, the doctor and the man."

He licked his lips; this was going to hard, "I'm not perfect, or even nice."

She gave him a reassuring smile, "No one is, and no one ever expected you to be, except you and him, and you're nicer than you give yourself credit for."

"I... play the piano pretty well," House said feeling anxious as he tried to complement himself.

Dr. Ryan beamed at him, "I know, I heard you play last Friday night."

"You were spying on me," he said with accusation.

"No, it was a fund raiser about child abuse, and seeing as I'm a psychiatrist, I went to support the cause. Greg, you were wonderful and that song in the middle, the one named _Proud_, it was an astonishingly moving piece." She said with pride.

"I wrote it when I was in college, it could be better if I took the time to rewrite it," House said and saw her giving him an encouraging and expecting look. He smiled shyly as he realized he was doing it again, putting down his accomplishments. "Thank you, it was one of the hardest pieces I'd ever written then."

"How did it feel to play it in front of people?" Dr. Ryan asked filled with hope as to how hard House was trying.

He looked down, away from her eyes, "It felt relieving to let it out, even if they didn't know it was about me. It was a lot better than I'd expected."

She reached out and put a hand on his knee to see him look up and meet her eyes. "Greg, you're doing really well with the therapy. As long as you keep trying it's only going to get better."

House swallowed, he was honestly surprised he'd stayed in it for this long and he was a bit nervous as he too found himself getting hopeful. "I'm beginning to think you might have been right, maybe with lots of time and work I can be happy."

Dr. Ryan smiled, "I know you can, if you allow yourself. Here, take these in case you ever have a hard time seeing something good in yourself you can read over what others see in you."

He took them, then looked at his watch to see that their time was up and stood up with his crutches. "So, slapping and kissing? Does every patient get such hands on attention?" he asked with a smirk.

She chuckled, "No, but you're not every other patient."

House wondered how she meant that. "Well, it was effective."

"Yes, that it was, and I got to kiss a very handsome man, maybe I should start using that approach more often," Dr. Ryan said with smirk of her own.

He looked to be in thought, "But maybe next time you could use less tongue."

She scoffed with a smile, "I didn't use any tongue this time."

House smirked, "You remember it one way, I remember it another. Who's to say who has it right or wrong."

Dr. Ryan stood up giving him a flirtatious smile, "Your version sounds more like wishful thinking."

"Hey, you're the one that kissed me," he said with a slight smile and intrigued eyes. This head doctor was a mystery herself.

"I'll see you next Thursday, Greg," she said opening the door for him.

"Can't wait," House said and left.

Wilson's eyebrow shot up at the sight of the way Dr. Ryan had been leaning into House when she opened the door and the way House wasn't pulled away. He stood up as House walked out with a small smile and glint in his eyes. "What was that?"

"What?" House said as he kept walking on his way out.

Wilson followed closely, "The way she was looking at you, you can't tell me you didn't notice that."

House rolled his eyes dramatically, "It's nothing. She's my therapist and I'm her patient. You think after figuring out how screwed-up in the head I am that she'd really want anything to do with me? She was probably just trying to feed my ego some to help building my confidence."

Wilson sighed, maybe House was right. "So, how did the session go," he asked as they got in the car.

"Good," he said with confidence. "You know what, Wilson, even though my father abused me, I think I can be okay," House said looking at Wilson for reassurance.

Wilson stared at House with pride, "You're damn right you can!" he said with a smile. "Wow, she's good I might need to switch to her." He said looking back at the road and then looked back at House. "It's not just her though, none of this could happen without you House. I'm so happy for you, considering everything you've been though no one could blame you for just giving up, but you haven't. I wish I had that kind of strength."

"I'm really not tha..." House stopped himself smiling slightly, this was going to be hard. "I'm trying, it's all I can do. Thanks for pushing me to keep going."

Wilson kept the smile off his face as he looked at the road, not wanting press his luck. He'd noticed how House had changed his response from negative to more positive. This Dr. Ryan was a miracle worker, he'd have to send her a thank you card.

As soon as House got in the Hospital he was met by his team waiting at the door and rolled his eyes, "I'd like to keep my special meetings private, which is going to be hard if I have a cheerleading squad waiting at the door after ever session." He said with irritation walking forward not meeting any of their eyes.

"We've got a patient, 10 year old male has been to seven doctors in the past three days for the flu from hell," Thirteen said with a smirk as she tried to hand him the file.

House just kept on, it was hard enough to walk while trying to carry something but so far the case didn't sound interesting at all. "Sounds like Cuddy forgot that we aren't the clinic," he said making his way to the elevator.

"By the way, how did your appointment go?" Kutner asked with interest.

"How many kids do you know that have decreased liver function from the flu?" Taub said handing over his file.

House raised an eyebrow and looked at Wilson who gave him a 'he's got a point' look. "Fine, meet me up stairs and be ready with fresh ideas," he said as he took the file and boarded the elevator with Wilson.

Foreman gave an irritated sigh, "So you're dismissing the ideas we have now, before even hearing them?"

House narrowed his eyes and held out one of his crutches in front of the doors to keep them from closing. "If any of them were any good you, wouldn't be waiting at the door for me come in and save the day. Now, up the stairs with you, maybe the exercise will help you think of something that can help save this kid." He said with a smirk.

Wilson looked over at House as they road up the elevator, "You have any ideas about the case?"

"Six from reading the first page," House said turning the page as his focused eyes scanned it.

Wilson smiled wondering how it would be to read a file and have six legitimate diagnoses in less than a minute. "Who knows, maybe this case will take you longer than two hours."

House smirked at Wilson, "Oh don't get jealous Jimmy. You always know the diagnoses for every patient you get." He said and stuffed the file under his arm as he made his way off the elevator.

"I'll see you at five," Wilson said as he made his way to his own office.

House entered the DDX room to see the white board covered in symptoms. "Who's been writing on my white board without permission?" he asked looking at his team who was breathing a little heavy.

"Kutner, erase the board," House instructed taking a seat at the table and swiveling so he was facing the board. "When I said we were starting over with fresh idea's I meant it, unless anyone here thinks the kid is better off without his liver?" He said waiting to see if anyone would oppose him, "No? Then we start over. Foreman, I want you to redo do all the tests that the other doctors did on him, take him off all the medicines they have him on, and do a drug test. He can keep the IV but that's it."

"House.." Foreman started but was interrupted by Kutner.

"He was vomiting for three days, his last doctor was at least able to get him on a medication that would help and now you want us to take him off of it?" Kutner said with disbelief.

"How do you know that the vomiting stopped because of the medicine? How do you know the vomiting hadn't run its course and just stopped on its own? How do you know the vomiting wasn't caused by and environmental factor? Wait, that's right, you don't. Foreman, do it and while the tests are running come back up to join the discussion."

Foreman sighed, House had a point as always, and left. It was a little over an hour when Foreman returned.

"Quit going back to the other doctors diagnoses, we have to work this case as if their findings were right. We need new ideas, better ideas." House said with frustration standing by the board with his crutches.

"Then why are you re-running the test, unless you also think that maybe they screwed up," Taub said back with condescension.

House glared at Taub, "Because maybe the other doctors were idiots but I'm not willing to put all my money on it. We're running the tests again, if it comes back that one of them is positive then we'll know what's wrong and that will be it, but if they come back negative and we've been wasting time assuming they wouldn't then we're the idiots! Which sucks for us, but I think it'll suck a bit worse for the kid if he dies because we decided to be lazy about it. Now, since you don't want to contribute any real ideas to this case you can go and check the kids locker at school, and if you don't find anything there I want you to go to his house."

Taub got up hostilely and walked out the door past Foreman. Foreman waited until he was down the hall a good ways. "The kids liver is getting worse, it's not critical yet, but it won't be long until it is at this rate and his father said he's not acting normal."

"What do you mean, In what way?" House asked with an intense look.

Foreman shrugged, "I'm not sure, they just said that..."

"Nevermind, I'll go see for myself," House said irritated at how incompetent his team was acting now that they finally had a difficult case. He started for the door and stopped to see the team looking as if they didn't know what to do. "Either come down with me and work on this case or go home and work on your resumes. The choice is yours." He said in a low voice as he walked out the door and everyone got up following him to the patients room.

House entered to see two men sitting on one side of the bed as the boy in the bed yelled at them, "This is stupid. I just want to go home," the boy said.

"That sounds like a good idea, unless you want to live that is. Otherwise that's a terrible idea." House said hobbling in and taking deep breaths as his legs hurt.

"Who are you and why are you in our son's room?" The taller dark haired man demanded.

"This is Dr. House," Thirteen said, giving House the introduction that he never did.

"You're supposed to be our son's doctor, we came here specifically for you and the first time you've bothered to make an appearance is four hours after he was admitted!" The other man said who was stocky and blond.

"You'd be surprised how rare seeing a patient helps with getting a correct diagnoses." House said as he leaned his crutches against the wall and gloved up. The team watched him with worry as they saw him take a painful step without his crutches and start sweating.

Thirteen walked up to him, "Let me help you," she asked to see him shake his head and she got out of his way as he step and hobbled again.

The two men watched him with concern of their own and the boy watched him with annoyance. "How are you going to fix me when you can't even fix yourself?" the boy asked in a hoarse voice.

"Tommy," the blond man said looking at the boy with a shocked expression, "that's not how you were taught to behave."

"This isn't like him, some kids are mouthy but not Tommy," The dark haired man said watching House.

House nodded as Kutner rolled the rolling stool in front of him, "Don't be an idiot, the point of leaving the crutches behind was to keep the gloves sterile, which they won't be if you fall down."

House sat down on it, "Fine," he said to Kutner and used his legs to roll him to the bed side. The boy's question hadn't really surprised him, it's what most people had to think that he treated, even if they didn't have the balls to say it. "Open up," he said looking at the boy's mouth, the boy opened up and House frowned as he saw some bruising in the back of the boy's raw throat, but before he could say anything the kid hit his hand.

"I want to GO HOME!" Tommy yelled then started gagging and threw up in a pan that one of his fathers handed him.

"This isn't like him," The blond man insisted with worry.

"Does he have a back pack here?" House asked and before anyone could say anything he saw one a couple of feet away and snatched it up and started to open it.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing? You can't look through that without permission." The other dark haired man said with irritation.

"If it helps him fix Tommy just let him," the blond man said putting a hand on the dark haired man's arm.

House didn't stop anyways, as he pulled out a bag with some white tablets in it, "What's this?" he asked the boy.

Both of the men stared at the bag with surprise and then back at their son. "Tommy, what is that?"

Tommy looked at it and then the man holding it and became panicked. "Who is he! Where am I!"

House leaned into the boy noting his pupils with a deep worried look, then he open the bag of pills and put one in his mouth and started chewing it.

"What is he DOING!? Is this man really even a doctor, he's acting like a nut!" The dark haired man yelled.

"Dammit! It's aspirin. He has Reye Syndrome, and from the look of his pupils and his confusion it's starting to affect his brain. We need to get a CT scan now before he..." House stopped as the boy's body started shaking and he stood up grabbing the boy's arms to hold him down.

**Hey everyone sorry about the delay, but a new chapter finally came. Just to let you all know the next couple of chapters are going to coming soon, not in a day soon, but one every one to two weeks is probable. They will contain some of the hard hitting things everyone's been waiting for like the HIV, so please be patient with me. Just to let you know the story will not stop after the results are reviled I have many more chapters already planned out. Hope you guys are ready, this train of a story is going to pick up speed fast! Love all of you and thanks for being patient with me, I promise I'll make it worth your while. - Nicole**


	91. Chapter 91: Doing Something Positive

House was sitting in his office when Thirteen came in looking worn, "The pressure is finally going down, his parents just left to get a late dinner. I saw Wilson's office was already locked, do you want me to give you a ride home?"

House shook his head, "No," he said and smiled some, "I'm surprised you'd trust me with your car."

She smiled back, "Who said I was going to let you in my car, I figured I'd get us a cab."

"Smart girl," he said rubbing his eyes.

"It was a joke. We trust you, House," Thirteen said honestly.

"I'm not sure I've done anything to deserve it," House said stretching out his legs some.

She gave him a half smile, "You've done more than you realize. See you tomorrow." She said and closed the door behind her.

House grabbed his crutches and groaned as he made his way to Tommy's room. He looked in the dark room to see no one was there at the moment and hobbled in, then sat down in one of the chairs by the bed and looked at the boy.

Tommy swallowed, "Why are you here?" he asked looking at House in the dark.

"You had bruises in your throat; you want to tell me how they got there?" House asked with a frown.

Tommy licked his lips, "I don't know, you're the doctor, right?" he said softer.

House scoffed, "Yep. That's why I also noticed the bruise on you back about four inches under your shoulder blades in the middle, it's an unusual spot for a bruise."

Tommy swallowed some, "Well a kid at school pushed me, so."

House smirked some, this kid was reminding him of himself in some ways, and he could tell he was lying. "Yeah, kids at school can be dicks... oops; I probably shouldn't use that word around you. I was picked on in school, I was smaller than my classmates, but I did find one way that classmates can be useful."

"And how's that?" Tommy asked.

"There a great cover. I mean you show up with some bruises and people start sticking their noses where they don't belong and you can just say some kid at school did it. The only back fire is that sometimes people don't believe you. Like the bruise on your back, it's not a normal place for a kid to hit, the only way it makes since is if someone much larger was using it as a place to hold you down. See, if someone was to put their hand there and lean their weight on it, then you'd be pinned down, and it would leave their other hand free to do other things, like cover your mouth." House said with a serious look.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tommy said, but his eyes said he knew exactly what House was talking about.

House chewed his lip some and decided to try a small experiment. He put his hand on the boys' bed to see the boy sit up quickly pulling his legs away from it. "There isn't that many ways to get bruises in your throat either. Has someone been hurting you? You can tell me," He said with concern.

"You're a grown man visiting a sick boy in the dead of the night putting your hand on my bed, and you're asking me if anyone has 'hurt' me. Why don't you ask what you really want to ask, which is can you hurt me? Can you slip in my bed while my parents aren't here and get off in my ass?" The boy said bitterly. "The answer is no, by the way."

House's stomach turned, not by the boy's accusation, but how descriptive the boy had been for his age. He hadn't used kid language; he's used a more mature level of talking then a ten year old. He removed his hand from the bed. "Did someone force you give them a blow job, is that how your throat got bruised?"

Tommy's chin shook some, "No! Quit talking about this kind of stuff with me. I'm not going to do anything for you so go jerk off somewhere else."

House's eyes softened on the boy's defensive tone, "I'm not going to hurt you and you don't have to let other people hurt you. They... they don't love you if they hurt you."

Tommy felt a panic in his chest, the man knew, he was sure of it. "Okay... alright, I'll let you fuck my throat, just... stop asking questions and leave me alone after, okay?"

House stood up swallowing hard as he looked at the boy who was keeping his mouth open. "I don't want that. I want you to be safe and not to have to ever do something like that again. Parents should make you feel safe, not take advantage of you."

"You're just like the rest of the world! Just because my parents happen to be two gay men, then they have to be abusing me! They don't look at me like that, I'm a child, and they aren't pedophiles just because they happen to be gay." Tommy said with frustration.

House didn't know what it was, but for some reason he believed the boy. "Then who is it?"

Tommy did the only thing he could think to do, which was to shut up.

House flexed his jaw, "I can help you, if you let me."

Tommy looked at him but knew there really wasn't anything he could do that wouldn't destroy everything he had going in is life too. "If you want to help, then leave me alone."

House sighed as he stood up and made his way to the door, stopping before he opened it. "I know you think everything will fall apart if you tell me... I use to think the same thing, but you'd be surprised. I've heard life can be pretty great when you're not living in pain or scared all the time. Just... don't take anymore aspirin for the pain."

Tommy swallowed as he saw the strange man leave.

House was almost to his office when his cell phone rang. He looked to see it was Wilson and answered, "Yes I know what time it is, and no I'm not coming home tonight."

Wilson was frozen with his mouth open as his first two questions were answered before he could even say them. He closed his mouth with an irritated sigh, "Proper sleep is important for proper recovery."

"You keep saying that, yet I'm recovering splendidly on the four to five hours I've been getting at your place," he said with his head crooked against his shoulder has he hobbled into his office and sat down. He heard another sigh from Wilson and closed his eyes. "Don't do that. Don't get mad at me for doing my job." House said firmly

Wilson shook his head, why did House always have to make a decent point. "And what are you working on? Foreman gave me a call about 20 minutes ago saying Thirteen offered you a ride since the patient was stabilizing but you didn't take her up on the offer."

"Of course he did," House said with frustration. "I diagnosed the illness and Tommy is getting better, but there was a reason he was taking aspirin in the first place."

"So you're staying at work all night so that you can try to get behind the reason a 10 year old took aspirin?! Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" Wilson said running a hand down his face.

"Tommy could have died, and you think it's ridiculous to spend some time into finding out why? You think it's a waste of time to want to know how he got a hold of aspirin or why he was taking it?" House asked leadingly.

Wilson grimaced some as guilt hit him, which he knew was exactly what House was counting on. "Yes it's important, but that's something his parents need to be figuring out, not you. You did your job when you diagnosed what was wrong with him and started treatments. You should come home and rest up." He said hoping to talk some sense into House.

"And what if his parents are the problem, or something at home?" House asked back.

Wilson sighed, "I'm sure if his parents gave him the aspirin that they won't make the same mistake twice."

"If his parents gave him the aspirin, I would have had him diagnoses within an hour. I'm talking about why a kid is looking for pain medication and not asking his parents." House said crisply.

Wilson frowned as he sat down, "It could have just been a headache," he said without any conviction.

House knew Wilson didn't want to think about a kid being hurt by a person, "He told his parents about all of the other symptoms, but withheld a headache? Plus... there were some bruises."

"House, I understand that given what you lived through as a child you feel a need to help this kid, and you should, but not by yourself. You need to call Child Protective Services." Wilson said with concern.

"Right, because I'm sure a kid who'd deny anything was happening to a doctor who just saved his life is going to want to talk to some badly dressed social workers who are threatening to take him away from his family." House said sarcastically.

Wilson frowned as his head dropped some, "Maybe you're right, but do you really think you're ready to help this kid out of a situation that you've only recently started to come to terms with? I'm just saying, don't you think a professional might be better for Tommy and your sake?" He asked and suddenly the other line became too quiet and Wilson knew he'd crossed some line. "I didn't mean th..."

"I know what you meant," House said in a deep voice. "It's nice to know you don't really believe all of that crap about me actually getting better."

Wilson sighed deeply, "You are getting better but I don't know if you're ready for this. What if the kid never admits something is wrong or what if you push this and you're wrong?"

"You're right, it's better not to question it. I mean it would be a lot worse for me to be proven wrong then to make sure a child isn't being abused by someone. Thanks, I could have lost it there by worrying more about this kid then my EGO," House said bitterly.

"It's not that, Greg; I just don't want you to get hurt. You can't save a kid from a situation like that unless they want to be. It's just like you, you refused to tell anyone what was going on and therefore no one could save you. We both know you can't give up on anything you really care about, not on your cases, not even on a college crush. Do you really think you'll be okay to walk away from this if the kid refuses to admit something's wrong? Do you really think you won't hold yourself responsible and blame yourself if Tommy refuses to be helped?"

"No worse than I will if I don't even try," House said firmly. "I've got work to do, bye," he said and hung up the phone before Wilson could try to talk him out of it. He gritted his jaw and threw his phone at a wall. "Maybe if I'd ever come across a doctor that fucking gave a shit and wasn't a COWARD then maybe I wouldn't be so fucked up! Did you ever think about that!?" he yelled at the phone as if it were Wilson as his leg throbbed. He rubbed the leg and took a pill, then opened Tommy's file and started up his computer.

11111111111

Cuddy unlocked the doors to her office. She was in extra early in an attempt to get out early. Tonight she had a date and she was excited about it, even though part of her felt like she was somehow betraying Greg. She knew that logically she had no reason to feel that way. They hadn't been dating in months now and as much as she cared about House and was on the border of loving the man, she knew she didn't feel nearly as strong about him as he did about her. She opened her door with a frown as he juggled her briefcase and coffee as she tried to take her over coat off. Greg deserved someone that didn't just like him but so..."

"I need your help," House said in an extra deep voice since he'd just woken up on Cuddy's couch.

Cuddy had been so shocked by the sound of a man's voice coming from her couch that she'd jumped, throwing her coffee a couple of feet to her left. She gritted her teeth as she realized she knew the voice, if he was just messing with her, then he was going to be in it with her. She flipped on the light and looked at him. Her jaw relaxed as she could easily tell he'd slept there. His jacket and button-up shirt hung over one of her chairs along with his tennis shoes underneath it. As she walked over to him, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his red tee was wrinkled and showing part of his stomach. Her eyes looked longing at the last four muscles of his lean stomach and she swallowed, trying to push back the memory of how good it felt to be underneath those muscles. "Did you sleep here?" She asked looking back in his eyes.

House looked down from her gaze, he began to doubt if this had been a good idea. He didn't know where they stood. Where they friends? Where they more? Did she hate him or love him? He hated the unknown. He'd come in her office last night for two reasons, she had a couch and he trusted her to help him with Tommy. He looked at the two folders he had on the ground and got back some of the drive to at least try and get Cuddy's help. "Yes," he said looking back up at her and trying to sit up but the pain in his legs halted his movements as a sharp hiss escaped him.

She frowned with concern as she looked at his legs and slowly moved a hand to his right leg she saw his hand move to stop hers, "Let me help," she said softly looking in his pained blue eyes. He sighed and moved his hand back to his side and Cuddy started massaging the leg through his pants. "What made you think that sleeping on my couch would be better than your bed?" She asked concentrating on his leg.

House swallowed as her hands were working on loosening the tight throbbing muscles in his right thigh. "It was late when I finished my work last night," he said grimacing some.

Cuddy looked up at him to see a grimace quickly leave his face to be replaced by his mask. Her frown deepened as her hands worked harder. She hated seeing him in pain, and hated even worse that he didn't feel like he could share it with her anymore. "Why, what were you doing?"

"I needed to..." his voice stopped as his leg muscle jerked hard without his consent and his hand grasped on the couch.

She pulled her hands back, having felt the spasm under her hands and looked back at him with more worry. He was still trying to keep his mask in place but shame was evident on his face, which infuriated her. He had no reason to feel ashamed about his pain or the spasm. She didn't view him as weak because of it and considering what all she'd seen him endure over the past three months she couldn't believe that he'd think it was even possible for her to ever see him as weak. "It's fine, I'll get you shot," she said standing up.

"No, I'm fine," House said not quite meeting her eyes.

"Don't be an idiot. You're having spasms in your leg and I'm going to get you some medicine to stop them." She said standing up straight.

He looked at her, "If I don't let you do this you aren't going to help me with my patient, are you?" he asked already knowing the answer.

"If you don't let me do this I'm going to call Wilson to come and get you and force you to take the rest of the day off. I'm not going to have you trying to work in that kind of pain and I can't believe you'd try too." Cuddy said sadly as she watched him.

House gasped loudly as another spasm hit and his hand went to his leg, "Fine," he said bitterly while glaring at his right leg while his hands worked on the muscle.

She practically ran to the pharmacy, scribbling down the prescription as she went. "Here," Cuddy said to the pharmacist.

The pharmacist read the prescription and then saw the patient name. He sighed as he wondered how the world's worst addict had fooled Dr. Cuddy into giving him whatever he wanted. The man's pain meds had been moved from Vicodin to Oxycodone and she was writing a prescription herself for him to have neuro-muscle blockers. "This will take an hour," he said for her own good. He didn't want to see her go through what Dr. Wilson had because of her soft heart.

"That won't do, he needs it now," She said firmly.

The pharmacist smirked, "I'm sure he's saying that, but believe me a little wait won't kill him."

Cuddy felt a desire to climb over the counter and choke the man. "Really? So are you a doctor now?" she asked with flames in her eyes.

The pharmacist's smirk vanished, "No," he said a little scared by the look in her eyes.

"Then don't YOU tell me how to prescribe medication or how long someone can make it without it. Now go and do your job and if I ever find out that you're holding up peoples prescriptions because of your personal feelings about a patient again, then you won't be working here. Is that clear?" She said with an authoritative tone.

He frowned, "Yes, and I hope that you don't find yourself in the same position that Dr. Wilson did a couple of years ago." He said as he filled the prescription. "Here," he said as he put that syringe in a paper sack.

Cuddy grabbed it and ran to her office to see Greg's body lying limply on her couch with sweat on his forehead. She swallowed as she removed the syringe from the bag, "This might sting," she said just to let him know she was back and about to give him a shot. He didn't respond and she felt for a good muscle and went through the pants and his flesh with the syringe, then rubbed the muscle some. "You alright?" she asked seeing him stare at the ceiling.

"I need to talk to you about something," he said deciding to get down to the reason he was here in the first place as he moved his legs off the couch so he was sitting upright on it.

Cuddy swallowed nervously as she looked into his eyes, "Okay," she said sitting down beside him.

"My patient is being abused and I want... no, I need to help him," House said with a hard swallow as he looked at her.

She sighed as her shoulders dropped, "You wouldn't be coming to me about this if you had proof. You'd be going to the Child Protective Services."

"He had a bruise on his back," he said seriously.

Her eyes softened on him, "Greg, it's just one bruise; it does mean he's like you." She said tenderly.

House shifted away from her and looked at her with intense eyes, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Cuddy frowned sympathetically at him, "It means that not ever bruise is abuse and... that just because you were abused doesn't mean that this kid is being abused." She said, hoping he would listen to her rather than getting defensive.

"I know that, I don't think this kid is going through what I was. It's worse than that. Cuddy, there were bruises in his throat. I think he's being sexually abused." he said, hoping she would listen to what he found rather than seeing him as a victim of abuse.

She shook her head, how could he be so clueless. "He had the flu and Reye's Syndrome. The boy's been coughing and throwing up for days now. It's just as possible that he bruised it from coughing."

House couldn't believe she was being this naive or that she didn't think he'd know the difference between the ways one would be bruised to the next. He tried to stand but fell back to the couch as he'd forgotten his right leg was out of commission after the shot. He glared at her, "I'm not making this up and I know the differences in the bruises! My being abused has nothing to do with this kid!"

Cuddy still didn't believe him, but decided the best approach was to pretend she did and when he had inadequate reasons to suggest abuse then she could reason with him. "Fine, what else do you have besides on bruise and some bruising in his throat?" She asked seriously.

House licked his lips, "I talked to the kid last night and he denied everything of course. So I put my hand on the bed and he accused me of wanting to have sex with him, a ten year old and that's the first place his mind went. He kept telling me to go, but I didn't, I kept pushing and before I left he offered to let me 'fuck his throat', Tommy's words not mine, which I of course said no. I tried to get him to..."

"What hour where you in this kid's room alone with him?" Cuddy asked in horror as she couldn't believe her ears.

House shrugged, "I guess it was a little after midnight, why?"

She stood up shaking her head as she looked at him with disbelief. "You went into a small child's room in the middle of the night without his parents and spoke about sexual acts?! What the hell is wrong with you!? Did it ever cross your mind that maybe the kid was scared and thought that you were trying to get him to preform sexual acts rather than a real concern about if he was being abused?! You just saved his life, House, what do did you expect him to do? Turn you down!"

House's face turned in disgust as he forced himself up and took shakily on one leg, "I wasn't propositioning him and I can't believe you of all people would accuse me of something like that! I'm trying to help him."

Cuddy scoffed, "I'm not saying you were. I'm saying that he's ten years old and you were a strange man who sneaked in his bedroom late at night! You're not an idiot, you have to hear how that sounds, and it's possible the kid thought you were trying to take advantage of him and offered what he thought you wanted because he felt like he owed you for saving his life! I need to know exactly what you said after he accused you of wanting something sexual with him!"

House flexed his jaw, "I asked if anyone had ever asked him or forced him to give them a blow job before."

Her heart felt like it stopped in her chest. She'd been able to save House from a lot of things, but if this kid told his parents about his account with House she wasn't sure she'd be able to save him from what would happen. "He accuses you of wanting something sexual with him, and you asked him about oral sex?" she said in a weak voice and closed her eyes. "What did he say?"

"He asked me to get out, but listen..." he was trying to explain when Cuddy's voice interrupted.

"And you didn't! A child obviously feels scared and threatened by you in a sexual way and when he asked you to leave you should have left! What happened, after you refused to leave?" She asked looking at him with concern and sadness.

House swallowed, he understood it didn't sound that good when he was explaining it, but it really wasn't how it sounded. "He... he offered to blow me, but I told him I didn't want that. I told him that I didn't want to hurt him and that if someone wanted that from him, that they didn't love him."

Cuddy sighed as she put a hand on his face. She cared about him so much and she couldn't imagine her life without him in it, at least as a colleague. "I'm going to discharge him and you're not going to go anywhere near him again, and if we're lucky Tommy wont press charges against you."

He pulled back from her and fell back into the couch, "I didn't do anything. I don't see children that way."

"I know that and you know that, but Tommy didn't! Greg... this is serious. You can't see him again. If he were to accuse you of trying to proposition him for sexual favors you're done with! There are camera's that show you going into his room late at night by yourself, which is all a judge needs to think there is something wrong, but then you wouldn't lie. If you were asked if you asked Tommy about if he'd performed oral sex before, the answer is going to be yes, and that will be the last nail in the coffin. It won't matter what you say after that. IT'S all anyone will hear!" She said as he heart pounded against her chest in shear panic at the idea of losing him to jail for a crime he didn't do.

House swallowed, knowing she was right. "I'm sorry, but I can't walk away from this. I know it's the smart thing to do, but this kid is in trouble and I can't sit back and do nothing." He said looking in her eyes.

Cuddy's eyes widened in horror, "House, what did you come in here to ask me to do?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

"The kid can explain away a bruise on his back and in his throat... but he couldn't explain way anal fissures, all you'd have to do is let me do..." he was interrupted by Cuddy.

"NO! I'm not going to give the okay for you to do an anal exam on a ten year old boy that has every reason in the world to think you were asking him for sexual favors last night! As soon as he finishes up his treatments I'll be discharging him before you can put your life and career in jeopardy any farther. He'll be gone by three." She said looking down at him. They were both staring at the other with disappointment when there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" she yelled not taking her eyes off of House's.

"Listen, Cuddy, we need to talk about..." Wilson stopped as he saw House sitting on Cuddy's couch.

House's eyes left Cuddy's as he heard the all too familiar voice. "Go ahead and finish that Wilson," he said with knowing eyes.

Cuddy looked at Wilson too, "We already have and this theory of his isn't to go past these walls, I don't care what you have to say, this will NOT go any farther." She said to Wilson firmly, assuming he was there to take House's side on the matter.

"Thank God," Wilson said with a relieved sigh as he visibly relaxed to see House looking at him with glare. "House, this is for the best. It's hard to prove and it's not your job. If you feel the kids at risk then you should call protective services anonymously and leave it at that."

Cuddy nodded in agreement, a little surprised that Wilson was on her side of this. "He's right," she said looking back to House. "This isn't your job. Your job is to heal patients, which you've done."

House was so irritated with both of them that he stared a hole through the coffee table in Cuddy's office. "I need a wheelchair," he said hating that he could just march out of her office like he wanted too.

Wilson looked at House with concern and back to Cuddy. "He slept on my couch last night and his right leg was having spasms this morning. I had to give him a neuro-muscle blocker."

Wilson sighed at the idea of House pushing himself so hard on this case when he needed to be taking care of himself. "I'll get one," he said leaving quickly.

Cuddy could tell House was fuming and sighed, "I know you're mad, but this is for your own good. We're looking out for you because you keep refusing too, neither one of us would be doing this if we didn't care about you." She said softly.

House looked at her with cold eyes, "To bad no one is looking out for Tommy's sake."

She frowned at that statement as Wilson rolled in a wheelchair and moved out of the way so Wilson could help House into it.

"Hey, did you tell her about your post-op on your left leg today?" Wilson said loudly as he got House into the chair.

House knew what Wilson was talking about, but it wasn't really an appointment about his leg, it was and appointment for him to be tested once again for HIV. "No, it must have slipped my mind," he said looking at Wilson.

Cuddy looked concerned, "What time is it?"

House sighed, "Eleven thirty," he said chewing his lips some.

"You'll be taking him?" She asked Wilson for confirmation.

"Yeah, it shouldn't really take that long, I'd thi..." Wilson stopped talking as he saw House roll out of the room and frowned. "This is hard on him," he said to Cuddy when House was gone.

"I know and I feel for him, but we both can see that he needs to be taking better care of himself and stop worrying so much about things that aren't his place to be concerned over. Just because he was abused doesn't mean that's what's wrong with this kid." She said reasonably.

Wilson nodded, "I'll keep an eye on him," he said and left.

1111111111

When Wilson walked into the DDX room at 10:45am he saw the team sitting around the table with the look of boredom on their faces. "Hey, no new cases?" he asked.

"Nope, House seems to think Tommy isn't completely out of the woods yet, even though he's recovering well." Taub said while flipping the page of the paper he was reading.

Wilson sighed, "I'm assuming he's in his office," he said making his way for the door.

"Be careful, he'd been in a mood all morning. Almost fired me for not fixing his coffee the right way," Kutner said with a serious expression.

"Thanks for the warning," Wilson said and walked in to find House with his legs propped up on the book case behind his desk as House was leaned back looking out the window with a sad ominous look. "We need to go, this is an important appointment," he said softly.

House sighed as he moved his legs down from the position.

"Here," Wilson said holding out the crutches to him, since he knew the medicine should have worn off by now.

"Thanks," House said standing up and putting one under each arm. "Wilson, do you really think that I'm... wrong about this kid? Do you think I'm seeing abuse because I was abused?" He asked not meeting Wilson's eyes.

Wilson frowned, "I don't know, House. Do your really think it's impossible that you could do that?"

House shook his head, "But I've had tons of case, a good amount of children and I've never screamed abuse before."

"You also had never been able to admit that what happened to you was abuse before either. I'm not saying that you're wrong, House. I don't have any idea, I've never even met the kid, but either way, it isn't your job. If you feel that strongly about it call the proper people for this." Wilson implored once again.

House sighed, "Let's get this appointment over with," he said and walked out with the crutches.

Wilson had hoped they would talk on the way to NJM but evidently House didn't want to since he had music playing loudly the whole way there and practically jumped from the car when it stopped. Wilson quickly got out too and walked beside House. "You ready for this?" He asked with concern.

"Yep," House said shortly as he hobbled into the lobby.

"It's just... well we haven't really talked about it that much," Wilson said watching his friend as he signed into the clinic.

"Talking about won't help," House said looking at Wilson as he looked to find some empty chairs and started hobbling again. "If its negative nothing really changes and if it's positive... I don't know how I'll react." He said as he sat down.

Wilson looked at him surprised, "That's... surprisingly probably very true. I don't think I've ever heard you admit that you might not know how you'd feel about something."

"Well, I've drank from the Kool-Aid of hope now, before I believed that life could be better I really didn't think it would affect me much either way, but now... I don't know." House said with a deep sigh. "Can we not talk about this, I'm already anxious."

"Yeah," Wilson said as he sat down beside him.

"Hey, we're running a little behind, but I'll get to you soon," Jackie said with a smile at House.

House gave her a nod. It took twenty minutes before Jackie finally called for House. He slowly made his way to the room when his cell phone when off. "What is it?" he asked a little exasperated as he realized it was his team.

"I just thought you'd want to know that Cuddy is discharging Tommy now. He'll be gone in ten minutes or so," Kutner said.

House gritted his teeth, "I'll be back in fifteen, try and stall," he said ending the call and walking into the room quickly. "I don't have all day," he said to Jackie.

Jackie smirked with the needle in her hand, double gloved and a long sleeved smock on. "Good thing I'm ready." House still didn't like the idea of needles but put his arm out, he didn't have time to argue, he needed to get back to the hospital as quickly as possible. She was quick about it and soon was done. "Alright, you can just take a seat in the lobby and I'll have your results in an hour or so."

House stood up on his crutch, "Sorry, but I have to go. Just call me with them," he said as he hobbled out of the room.

"This isn't the kind of result we can call you about. This is the kind of thing we need to talk to someone about in person," Jackie said following him as he continued towards the lobby doors, with Wilson just noticing and try to catch up.

"I'm trying to save a kids life, which takes priority. Like I said, call me," House said and opened the door.

Jackie shook her head, "Fine, have it your way," she said and walked back into the clinic.

"What's going on?" Wilson asked.

"I've got to get back to the hospital, Cuddy is releasing my patient," House said making his way to the car.

Wilson stopped, "House, this isn't a good idea."

House scoffed and looked back at Wilson, "You are the kind of fucking doctor I had! You act like you care, with those sympathetic eyes and comforting words, but then when it comes time to act you back down like a coward! This kid needs me, he needs someone who won't give up on him and will stop what's happening to him, even he's afraid to talk about it! Now, you can either give me a ride or I'll get a cab," he said staring Wilson down.

Wilson stalked towards the car, "I'm not a coward and I don't think you should be doing this," he said unlocking the car and getting in as House got in with him, "I'm doing this only because I know it won't stop you if I give you a ride or a cab does."

"You're right, nothing's going to stop me, but you are a coward," House said as he buckled up.

Wilson shook his head as he went to the hospital, hoping that House could handle this if it did blow-up in his face. When they got out House saw both the boy's fathers pushing him out in a wheelchair. "Hey, you need to go back in," House said hobbling up to them.

The father's stopped and looked at House with confusion. "Dr. Cuddy said he was fine to leave," the dark haired man said.

House licked his lips, "Yeah well, she's not as good as I am. There are still some concerns that need to be addressed."

"I feel fine, I want to go home," Tommy said looking up at his parents with pleading eyes.

"It could be serious," House said to the men seriously.

The men looked down at their son and back at each other. "I would rather be safe than sorry," the blonde said to the dark haired man. The dark haired man sighed and nodded, "Okay, but please make this quick. We want to get life back to normal," he said to House and rolled Tommy back in the hospital with House behind them.

Wilson was already in and had alerted Cuddy to what was going on, so they were met with her as they came back in.

"Dr. House, I released your patient because he is fine to go home," She said walking up to them.

The dark haired man looked at her with serious features, "He said that there still could be some serious concerns about Tommy. Is that possible?" He asked.

Cuddy licked her lips, of course it was possible. Anything is possible. "I feel confident that Tommy will be fine."

"That's not the question they asked, they asked if it was possible that Tommy has some serious issues that need to be check up on." House said staring her down.

She looked to House with disappointment, "Anything is possible," she said with irritation.

"Is he a better doctor than you?" Asked the blonde father.

Cuddy looked at the male couple and sighed, "Yes, he is, but he could be..."

"We want him admitted again. We're not taking a chance with our son's life," The dark haired man said strongly and wheeled their son back to the elevator.

"I'm not letting you, or anyone, perform a rectal exam on that boy," Cuddy said under her breath as the elevator doors closed and the family was out of sight.

House scoffed, "There isn't anything you can do to stop me if the parents agree to it," he said back as he went towards the elevator.

She shook her head as she started for the stairs. She came in to see the boy back in the same room he'd just left with House there.

"Like I said, I have some concerns, there is still blood in Tommy's bowel movements," House said to the two men.

"I was told by the other doctors the blood in his stool was caused by the Reye's syndrome and would dissipate as Tommy gets better." The blonde man said with concern.

House shrugged, "It could be just that, but it could be something more serious. I think we need..."

"House! I need to speak with you inside your office right now. It's important," she said standing in the doorway.

House looked at her and smirked, "Of course, Dr. Cuddy. I'll be right back," he said to the two men and Tommy as he walked to his office.

Cuddy threw the door open and he walked in as if nothing was wrong. "What the hell are you doing? I told you to leave this alone. What if you do find something and this kid say's that you were the one that had sex with him, House."

House rolled his eyes, "He wouldn't do..."

"So you never blamed someone else for marks left on you by your father?" She said seriously with a knowing look.

He frowned, "that was different, and it wasn't something this big."

"Broken bones aren't big?" Cuddy asked sarcastically. "If you're wrong about this, then you'll have put this young boy through an exam that's almost as bad as the abuse you THINK happened to him and if you're right the boy could say it was you who did it. You can do whatever tests you want to make sure the boy is fit, but I'm not letting you or anyone else to that exam, and if his parents ask why then I'll tell them it's because an exam like that can be traumatizing to a child." She said confidently and walked out.

House had the team to re-run all of Tommy's tests. He told them of his suspicions but no one seemed to believe the boy was being abused so he was looking through medical records to try and find more proof. When his phone rang he answered it. "What is it?" he answered looking through the files.

"Dr. House, this is Jackie from New Jersey Medical. I need you to come in," Jackie said looking at the results of his HIV test.

House turned the page, "I've got a patient who needs me here. Just give me the results," he said turning another page.

Jackie swallowed, "Your test came back positive, you need to come in so we can do another test to make sure it's right." She said with worry as she listened on the line for his response.

House felt a panic in his chest but tried to push it aside, "There's no need in doing another test. I'm confident with the first one's results. That's just the way things go for me. I'll be in sometime this weekend or early next week to pick up my prescriptions, and remember I'm a doctor. I don't want to have to hear the stupid spill about what this means and how I can learn to deal."

"Greg... I'm sorry," Jackie said softly.

"Yeah, I've gotta go," House said hanging up the phone. He looked at Tommy's file with frustration and stood up. He was emotional charged on all levels as he made his way down the elevator. When he saw Cuddy his nose flared. "You're an idiot! Because of you, this kid is going to go home and continue to be abused!" He said loudly looking at the parents who looked at him and Cuddy with alarm. House looked at the parents, "Yeah, that's right, Dr. Cuddy, dean of medicine at this hospital cares more about covering her hospitals ass then she does about child abuse!" He said with venom in his voice.

Cuddy looked at him in shock, House had done some outrageous things, but this was over the top, even for him. "Dr. House doesn't know what he's talking about," she assured the on lookers. "Dr. House, in my office, now," she said in a low voice.

"What's wrong Cuddy? Don't want everyone to know that you'll turn a blind eye to a kid getting rammed up the back end!" He said glaring at her. "But don't worry, the kids ten and Dr. Cuddy over here seems to think its fine, nothing to worry our pretty little heads over!" He bellowed to crowd.

Cuddy march up to him and grabbed his arm, literally pulling him into her office as he moved on the crutches. She stared at him once they were finally behind closed doors. "I knew you were a little off but I didn't think you we INSANE! Are you trying to get me to fire you?"

"ME! A kid is being sexually abused and you're doing everything you can to stop ANYTHING being done about it!" House seethed.

"This isn't about Tommy and this sure as hell isn't about me! What's going on that you're not telling me about?" She asked with irritation.

House's eyes twitched, "This is about Tommy! What if it was Rachel?!" He yelled with emotion.

"Don't," Cuddy said in a warning voice, "don't you bring my daughter into this."

"WHY? Because you might actually start to FEEL something? It might melt your little ice queen castle that you've built around yourself!" House practically spat at her.

Cuddy's face shifted from anger to horrified, "Greg, what's wrong?" She asked as she walked up closer to him.

"Nothing, I just want to help my patient!" House said breathing heavily.

Cuddy reached up and he moved back some, but she touched his face and look at him with fear and worry. "Something is wrong, please talk to me about this," she asked.

House shook his head, "I'm fine!"

"Greg, you're crying," she said so softly it was almost a whisper.

"No... No, I'm not," he said still shaking his head as he took a step back.

Cuddy held her wet palm for him to see with a shaky chin, "What's happened?"

House looked at the moisture on her hand and sadness in her eyes with disgust. He sniffled and felt the tears running down his face. Suddenly his throat seemed to clamp some as the hot tears ran faster. "It's..," he started but just couldn't finish as he took a few step with the crutches before they fell from under his arms as his head dropped.

She looked at him with wide eyes, she'd never seen House this way and she felt a pain in the pit of her stomach. For House to cry like this there had to be something very wrong. She took soft steps toward him and put a hand on his back but he jerked away from her touch almost falling down.

"DON'T!" He yelled looking at her with tears in his eyes. "Don't ever touch me again. No one can ever... not again." He said with a sharp intake of air as he looked at her with fear. "I'm... I'm HIV positive."

**I think this was the chapter everyone was waiting for, but believe me, there is so much more to come! I have to say I'm going to be a little disappointed if I only get 5 reviews for this chapter. Please Review people! I need them like House needs his Vicodin! LOL. Nicole :)**


	92. Chapter 92: House Is Vexed

_Abby, Thanks once again. Hope you enjoy the new chapter. - Nicole_

_New Reader, Glad to have you aboard and hope you feel free to review anytime you want to. Thanks, -Nicole_

_HuddyGirl, I was worried I'd make you cry... hopefully I didn't, but I can't promise that this next chapter wont have you in tears. Love you and thanks for the review, - Nicole_

_Alex, Happy to have you back. Thanks for the review and enjoy, - Nicole_

_SomebodyNobody, Thanks for the concern and explanation is put in this chapter. Hope you enjoy the new chapter. Thanks again, - Nicole_

Cuddy's ears rang from the news as her brain tried to fit in the new information that seemed impossible. Her mouth hung open some in a frown and she felt helpless as she looked in his shimmering blue eyes, "When di...did you.." she tried to ask as her heart felt like it had fallen out of her chest making her feel empty.

House hated himself for hurting her, the pain in her eyes over him made him feel disgusted with himself. He shouldn't have ever started something with her; he knew things didn't work out like that for him and now he'd pushed his misery onto her. "I'm sorry," he said in a gasp, while his eyes searched hers. "I found out an hour ago," he said unable to look away from the damage he'd caused, like a person about crash watching the car coming towards them with transfixed eyes.

Cuddy shook her head softly, it couldn't be true. Her knees felt weak and the air in the room was almost too heavy to breath. She kept wishing there was a pun at the end of this horrid joke, that she would see the start of a smirk at the corner of one of his lips or a glint in his eyes that said 'gotcha' but there wasn't. So she was left with the knowledge that it somehow had to be true... and that he'd known this was a possibility, but how long had he known. How had she not noticed a difference in him, what clues had she been looking over? Cuddy's right eye squinted some as she tried to make sense of the madness, and then it clicked. The reason he'd been pushing her away, the secret that he was keeping from her ever since the attack in his home. She gasped loudly compared to the silence of the room and her eyes widened on his. She took shallow breaths as her eyes filled with tears. "During the… attack?" she asked weakly.

House cursed the tears that filled his eyes as he nodded. "Young was HIV positive and during the fight I got covered in his blood," he said filled with shame for the destruction he'd caused and for his lack of truth with her. He'd lost so much in his life, most things so early in life that he questioned if good things were even possible, but she's shown him that they were and now… now he'd lost her forever. He'd lost the illusion he'd been holding onto for years that maybe, just maybe, if he really put himself out there that he could be loved by someone like her and accepted in a family. He inhaled brokenly, with trembling lips and a clenched jaw, trying to keep from sobbing because the only thing he had left was his pride.

Tears flowed silently down her face as she watched him struggle to stay in control over his emotions. She wished there where some words that she could say that would make everything okay, but there weren't any.

_Knock Knock Knock!_ "Dr. Cuddy?" Foreman said as he turned the knob and looked it. He looked at her and frowned as he saw her tears then looked beyond her to see House in a state like he'd never seen before.

"Out!" Cuddy cried out at him.

Foreman was frozen with wide eyes on House. House looked up to see what had made Cuddy scream and their eyes met. Fear and concern swept over him stronger than he'd felt in a long time, something was very wrong in a world that brought Dr. Gregory House to tears.

"I said OUT!" Cuddy yelled as she shoved him. She wasn't going to have House gawked while he was trying to come to terms with his situation.

Foreman walked backwards as Cuddy kept pushing him back, "Is he okay?" He asked softly just before they made it to the door.

She sniffled, "Shut up, just… shut up. You didn't see anything, you got that?" Cuddy said in a warning tone. Foreman swallowed and nodded as she opened the door and they both went out. She took a breath of fresh air to see House's entire team standing on the other side of the door. She didn't need this right now; she had House breaking down in her office and his own team sitting outside her door like vultures. "What the hell are all of you doing? This is a hospital, can't you find something better to do with your time?!" She spat at them.

The entire team looked at her with concern as they saw the trail of tears on her face. "We were checking to see if you wanted us to release Tommy." Thirteen said with her forehead wrinkled and a frown.

Cuddy licked her lips. This case had meant so much to House that he'd been working it even after getting his devastating results and what if he was right? Maybe he could see it in the boy, like Eva had seen that he'd been abused. What if she let this go and he was right? She'd hoped he'd find more proof of the abuse, if it had been there but he hadn't yet. She knew she had to make a decision quick as his team watched her. "Is there still blood in his stool?" She asked trying to gather herself.

"Yes," Kutner said as his mind worked on trying to figure out what was going on with her.

She swallowed, how many doctors had Greg gone to that ignored the abuse, and how had that affected him along with the continued abuse? She took in a deep breath, House was willing to take the risk of all this falling back on him and who was she to stop him? He knew first-hand how much abuse could effect a child; if he felt this strongly about this then she owed it to him to support him. "Do a rectal exam, if you find any anal fissures then call CPS," Cuddy said with authority.

They looked at one another with confusion since they knew she'd been the one holding up House doing the exam to begin with. "You're sure?" Taub asked to see her nod. "Do you know where House mig..." Kutner started to ask but was cut off.

"Leave House alone, go and do the exam and I want a report of your findings and, Foreman, get me Dr. Wilson." Cuddy said glaring at him.

"Sure thing," Foreman said and took off in a sprint toward the stairs while the rest of the team hastily made their way to the elevator.

Cuddy took a couple of breaths of the light air outside her office before swallowing and walking back in, locking the door behind her. House was in the same spot she'd left him in but his back was to the door. She walked up to him slowly reaching a hand out to touch his back, "Greg, it'll…"

House jerked away from her with such force he fell. "Keep your damn hands off me!" he said scooting away from her. "Don't you fucking get it?! I'M POISON!" He screamed out her. "Don't ever touch me again," he said softer as he finally stopped because he was all the way to the wall.

"No, you're not," she said softly as she walked toward him but stopped a good four feet from him.

House half laughed half sobbed, "Yes I am. I always have been, even my conception was bad. I've been ruining lives ever since then. I taint anyone I get near, look at Wilson, look at you and Stacy," he said with a sniffle as he licked his lips, tasting the salt from his tears. "Now it's just got a medical label on it. HIV, stay way because if you get too close he'll ruin your life." He gritted his teeth as he shook his head, "I don't even know why I'm so... upset about this. It's so typical of my life. I knew when Jackie told me about Young that I'd end up having it. I knew."

Cuddy wished she could hold and comfort him, "Quit blaming yourself. None of it was your fault, not the way you were conceived, or the way your father treated you, or the attack! There was nothing you could have done."

He shook his head slowly, "You're wrong; I could have let them kill me... I should have let them kill me," he said looking down at the floor.

Cuddy sniffled as her eyes watered up more, "No..." there was knocking on her door again, "... Don't say that, it's not true." She said and went to see who was at the door, wiping the tears from her face. She opened the door just enough for her to see who it was.

Wilson looked at her with concern and frowned. He'd heard about the scene House had made in the lobby just about an hour ago, and already planned on talking to him about it, but seeing the red blotches around Cuddy's eyes made him even madder at House. "I'm sorry he acted like an ass, but I'll find him and take care of it. He went over the line."

Cuddy looked at him with disgust, "How could you keep this from me?"

Wilson looked at her with a dumbfounded expression, "Keep what from you?"

"He's... positive," she whispered, still in disbelief and opened the door so he could come in.

"What do...?" Wilson choked on his words as he realized what she was referring to by the statement. He stopped, his pleading eyes on hers praying it wasn't true.

Cuddy pulled him roughly the rest of the way through the door, closing and locking it. "He just got the results," she hissed with contempt. "How could you? Him I understand, he was scared and didn't want to accept the possibility that... that he might have HIV, but you? You should have told me!" She said pushing him against the wall angrily as more tears were shed.

"I'm sorry," Wilson said as he wrapped his arms around her even as she pushed at him. "Lisa, I'm so sorry," he said pulling her to his chest as she resisted and started sobbing. "Shhhh, it's okay. We'll figure this out and House... he's tough, the toughest man I've ever known," he said trying to reassure and comfort as she finally stopped fighting and sobbed against his chest. He held her like that for a couple of minutes, standing in the small room between her office and the lobby. "Where is he?" he asked after the sobs had slowed down.

She sniffled and swallowed, trying to compose herself enough to talk. "In my office," she said softly backing away from him so he could go see for himself. She knew she wasn't strong enough to see House so... defeated. He needed them to be strong for him, like he always was for them, but it was going to take her a couple of minutes to pull herself together.

Wilson took slow steps in the office and saw the crutches lying, fallen on the floor. His eyes stayed on them for a moment, thinking of how it symbolized the man. Every time, every damn time that House made any progress something would come in and knock him right back down to the ground. How many more knocks could the man endure before he just quit trying to even get up? His eyes scanned to office to see House sitting on the floor with the wall behind his back and the couch to his side. He looked... small and broken. It would have torn at Wilson's heart to see anyone in such a state, but the fact it was House made it worse. His strong stubborn friend was sitting on the carpet practically hugging his knees. "Hey," he said softly.

House ducked his head more and pulled his legs closer to him, "Leave me alone," he said softly. He didn't want an audience or Wilson's comforting words that didn't change anything.

Wilson barely had heard the soft request and walked closer. He needed to help fix this some way. "We'll get through..."

House felt anger and jealousy run through him at the word 'we' and his head snapped up to look at Wilson. "WE! There is no fucking 'WE', unless you're positive too!" he said glaring at Wilson as hot tears filled his eyes again. "WE'RE not getting through SHIT! I'm the one with HIV not YOU and not Cuddy and not anyone else in this fucking room so stop with the understanding BULLSHIT! You don't understand. You couldn't." He said daring Wilson to say anything to the contrary.

Wilson flinched back from the harsh words as his chin shook some at the tears he saw in his friend's eyes and the anger in his voice. It was the first time he'd seen House's face since the results and it was obvious that these weren't his first tears to shed. A part of Wilson wanted to lash out at House for acting like this only affected him, when in fact it affected anyone who cared about him, but he couldn't. As bad this news was to Cuddy and him, he knew it was only a small fraction of what House was going through. "You're right. We aren't the ones with HIV and it isn't our battle, you are, but we're still going to be there to help you. You aren't alone in this and you've made it through worse. You'll survive this, House." Wilson said with warm reassuring eyes.

House snarled at Wilson, "Tell me, oh wise one, how the hell do you expect to HELP me through this? Huh? Unless you've discovered the cure to HIV and been hiding all this time, which I DON'T think is the case! You can't FIX this Wilson, just like you couldn't FIX my LEG! Just like neither you or anyone else can FIX what my father did to me. This isn't about you and your pathetic need to make everything right in the world! So save the self-righteous speech for your hopeless cancer ridden patients!" He yelled bitterly at Wilson as he tried to stand.

Wilson clenched his jaw as the cutting words were hurled at him. "You're the one that's acting pathetic. Poor House, he has HIV, which I get sucks but it isn't the end of the world. You're not dying. You'll take more pills than most people and you'll have to take better care of yourself, but the medications are significantly better than they were. You'll be fine, so quit acting like a whiny little bitch and pull yourself together." He said watching as House struggled to stand. He felt guilty for being harsh with House, but sometimes that's what House needed.

House laughed madly as tears fell while he leaned against the armrest of the couch. "You don't GET IT!" he said laughing still with a grimace. "I only WISH I was dying like your damn lucky circus freak patients! LOOK AT ME! I can't hardly fucking STAND on my own! You stupid prick! YOU think I want to LIVE like this?!" he said gesturing to himself. "I'm so pathetic I don't even keep mirrors around because I can't stand what I see in them! It makes me feel sick and that was before the HIV! What fucking hope is there for me EVER having a better life NOW! I live in pain, every God damn second of my life is in PAIN!" He said as he sobbed even against his struggle to not. "And on top of that I'm disabled! How many times have you had to crawl around your apartment because you were in too much pain to FUCKING WALK! And now...with the HIV it's going to be... what? Better?!" He said with imploring eyes. "I hold off going to the restroom as it is, because it hurts to walk the short distance. What happens when the medication gives me diarrhea all the time? What happens when it make me feel even WEAKER than I already do? I'm so tired of surviving...I don't want to live like this. I don't want to live a life where I can never be close to someone again. Am I pathetic? YES! I'm even a whiny BITCH, but at least I have a fucking reason to be. What's your God damn excuse!?"

Wilson had tears rolling down his face since halfway through House's rant. He felt useless, but he couldn't let House just give up, even if he had valid reasons for doing so. He just couldn't, but he had no idea of how to stop him.

Cuddy walked back in with purpose as she'd easily been able to hear all of the yelling. "This isn't his FAULT!" She said marching toward House. "Wilson's been there for you though everything you've gone through and if you think he hasn't hurt right there beside you than you're even more self-absorbed then anyone ever thought you were!" She threw at House as she closed in on him.

House's eyes filled with fear, "STOP!" he screamed as he held his shaky arms out to keep her from getting too close. He couldn't let her touch him, partly because he was infected and would never risk her health and partly because he knew with one caring touch from her, he'd crumble from what all he'd lost and would never have again.

She felt fresh tears fill her eyes at the sight of him so afraid, "It's okay, let me hold you, let me be there for you. Please," she said softly as she walked closer to him.

"NO! DON'T... just... don't touch me..." he said pulling back and falling into the couch, then scooting back to the other armrest. "I can't... I won't chance hurting you."

Cuddy stopped at his desperate pleas, and her heart broke even more. "A touch isn't going to hurt me, Greg. You know that." She said trying to reason with the doctor in him.

House looked at her hand and then away, "And my leg wasn't supposed to have an infarction at the age of 35, and you're not supposed get HIV defending yourself from a bunch of lunatic soldier that attack you in your own home. I'm not taking any chances, not matter how small."

"You can't just lock yourself away forever," She said more firmly.

House scoffed, "You wanna bet? I can't live with... infecting someone else, especially someone I care about. So if that means never touching someone skin to skin again, then that's what I'll do."

Wilson shook his head, "It isn't healthy," he said in a pleading way.

House look at him with saddened eyes "Yeah, well, neither is spreading HIV, and it's not like I was a touchy person to begin with. I'll be fine."

"You're … Listen, I hate to be the one to say this, but you're speaking from your emotions right now. You can't go the rest of your life without touching another person or another person not touching you. What happens if you get older and NEED someone there to help you with things? It's not a rational decision." Wilson argued.

House looked at Wilson with cold eyes, "You really think I haven't thought about that? Believe me, I've got that covered."

"What's that mean?" Wilson asked with both curiosity and concern.

Cuddy heard her fax machine start up and went to check on it.

"It means that I'm not a child and have planned for the future," House said sitting normally on the couch.

Wilson lifted his eyes brows, "You plan on filling me in on those?"

House gave him a ridiculously skeptical look, "Sure, I'll tell you all about my plans for when I'm too old to feed myself and wipe my own ass when you decide to give me specifics on what all you did on your many honeymoons."

Wilson thought about it while pouting some, and shrugged, "I wouldn't mind giving you a small summery," he ventured.

"Me either, my small summery is that I get old and at some point I die," House said curtly.

Cuddy sighed as she looked at the fax. It was from House's team, who was apparently too scared to knock on her door again. They'd found multiple anal fissures and called CPS. "You were right," She said walking over to him with the fax. She felt guilty, if it hadn't been for House being so persistent then this boy would have gone back to an abusive home.

"About what?" House said stiffening up as she got closer.

Cuddy frowned and stopped, putting the paper on the armrest of the couch.

House watched her closely as he quickly snatched it up and pulled back to the other side of the couch. It hurt to try to read as his eyes were red and worn, but he squinted and looked up at her with curiosity. "You had my team give him the exam? I thought you said that was out of the question."

She swallowed while looking in his eyes, "I changed my mind."

House looked away with embarrassment as he knew exactly what and when she changed her mind. "Because of my news and new level of my patheticness?" he said looking up slightly at her.

"You made some good points," Cuddy said, even though his argument isn't what had changed her mind.

"Right," House said cynically, "It doesn't really matter, I'm just glad you changed your mind. Maybe life will get a little better for Tommy."

Wilson looked from House to Cuddy, "You mean Tommy was being abused?"

"Evidently so." Cuddy sorrow in her voice.

Wilson looked back at House, thinking back to that one night in the hospital when he'd been jealous that House had allowed himself to be touched by Cuddy and not him. House had said something to insinuate that he'd been sexually assaulted. "And you knew, how?"

House licked his lips and shrugged, "I didn't know, I just... thought it was possible." He said feeling uncomfortable by the way Wilson was watching him.

"No, you KNEW. The way you kept pushing it, the production you made out in the lobby. You don't go that far unless you know. How were you sure?" Wilson asked with fearful eyes as he looked at House. He didn't want to hear the truth, but he felt like House needed to say it.

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson, "Maybe I paid more attention during my psych rounds than you did. I just did, so drop it." He said flatly and sighed as he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, "I'm exhausted."

Cuddy looked at him with sympathetic eyes, "You should go home and get some rest and, House. I know you aren't going to like this suggestion, but I want you to take off the next week. You'll have a lot on your mind."

"Good," House said and both Cuddy and Wilson looked at him in surprise to his response. "I'll need the time to get moved."

"Moved? Where do you plan on going?" Wilson said with wide eyes.

"Home," House said with a sigh, "it's time I get back to my place. You'll have you space back and I'd be more comfortable on my own."

Wilson didn't like the idea of House being alone back in his old place after all that had happened there, plus he'd miss having House there with him. "I thought you were enjoying staying at my place?" he said with a frown.

House looked up at Wilson, into those pleading puppy dog eyes. "Don't try and make me feel guilty for doing the right thing, not now. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open and I have way bigger things on my plate then your feelings." He said in a soft scratchy voice.

Cuddy looked to Wilson, "He's right, it's not fair for you to push him to do something he isn't comfortable with. He needs time to accept this new life on his own before he'll ever be able allow anyone to get close to him."

Wilson narrowed his eyes slightly on Cuddy. Even if she was right, it didn't mean he had to like it. "Fine, if this is what you think is for the best then we'll start moving things this weekend, but tonight we get some dinner and rest up at my place."

House nodded his agreement.

Something popped up in Cuddy's mind, she still hadn't replaced his bed and she didn't want him going home to see his broken and stained up bed. "We should get together around ten in the morning tomorrow and go shopping for you a new bed," she said looking to House and then looked to Wilson," then we could all meet up for lunch."

Wilson definitely didn't want House staying a night on that torn up and bloody bed either. "Sounds good, what do you say, House?"

"Sure, whatever, right now I really don't care. All I want is to get to a bed tonight," House said as he slowly tried to stand on tired unstable legs. Cuddy quickly started towards him but one meaningful look stopped her and Wilson handed him his crutches from a distance. House was more grateful than he had the energy to express, he needed his space and for once they were giving it to him.

**Sorry for the wait everyone. I have recently started a new job, that has me working 45 – 50 hours a week and on the road a good 15 hours added to that. So, as you might have guessed this has cut significantly into my writing time. I am still writing though, as you might have noticed by the new chapter. I will not stop writing my stories until they are complete. I want to assure you all of that. Also, I can no longer give realistic expectations on my writing, it might be up in a week if I'm not driving to far, it might take three if I'm driving a lot. All I can say is that I will continue to write and those who find my writing worth the wait will get to see where all this ends. Love you all and please review, - Nicole**


	93. Chapter 93: Losing Control

_Howdy everyone, as you may know (if you read my other stories) I've been totally swamped with my new job and have been trying to write every second I get away from it, but sadly that doesn't leave me a lot of time. Don't fear, I will not stop writing, that is something I can assure you, but until I do get more time I will not be replying to all of my reviews as I have been doing since I started write, which is something I hate to give up. The only reason I won't be is because it literally take me HOURS to reply to everyone, and I just think my time would be better spent on writing new chapters. Hope you enjoy the newest chapter of The Greater Good Cont. Love all of you and hope that you know that your reviews are still very important to me! Love , Nicole_

House peeked out Cuddy's door and swallowed as his eyes scanned the area to see that it looked clear. He ducked his head as he slowly made his way to the entrance doors.

"I'll go get the car and bring it around to the front," Wilson said as he jogged past him.

House rolled his eyes but didn't say anything since he'd have to yell for Wilson to hear him at the pace he was going. He just kept up the tiring pace, which sadly was patheticly was slow.

"Hey, House!" Foreman yelled as he got off the elevator and jogged towards him. He noticed how the man seemed to deflate even more and regretted his announcement of him, but luckily it didn't seem like anyone paid it any mind. He stopped in front of House and suddenly didn't know what to say, he'd wanted to update him on Tommy's case but all that he could think about was seeing House in Cuddy's office in tears.

House sighed with tension and looked up to meet Foreman's eyes. "What do you want?" he asked half pleading half frustrated.

Foreman's mouth opened for a moment, then closed, then he licked his lips, "You alright?" he asked with concern at the red blotches and eyes that confirmed it hadn't been some hallucination.

"Peachy," House said flatly, "now if that's all, I'll be going."

"Wait," Foreman said quickly as he saw House lift one of the crutches to help take a step. House stopped and glared at him but as his mouth began to open, probably to yell at Foreman, Foreman continued. "I wanted to let you know that it looks like everything is going to work out for Tommy. He told the social worker that the family's newest foster kid was the one abusing him, and they looked into his file to find out this isn't the first time the boys been charged with sexually misconduct with younger foster children. So, it sounded like Tommy's going to get to stay with his parents. As hard as you pushed on this case I thought you might want to know." Foreman said casually even though in truth he was grateful that House had pushed and helped the small boy because he didn't know how he'd live with sending an abused child back into that kind of situation. He still wondered how House had known when all the rest of them hadn't seen an indication of it.

House saw the soft look of gratitude in Foreman's eyes and felt slightly awkward, "Thanks, glad to hear it's all going to work out," he said to see Foreman smile some, "except it's not."

Foreman frowned as he looked at House with confusion, "Yes it is, didn't you listen to what I just said?"

"Tommy was being raped and nothing you or I or any social worker can do will ever change that. We didn't fix his life or make all of the damage from that disappear. Hell, Tommy isn't old enough to even have a concept of how this will effect the rest of his life with every relationship he has. It's like a wreck, we might have helped lessen the amount of body damage but the crash has already occurred, it happened the first time that boy used him." House said watching Foreman with some sadness in his voice.

Foreman look down with defeat, the man was right and they both knew it. It was a little surprising to him how well House seemed to understand the situation and that the effects of the abuse didn't diminish just because it wasn't still happening, especially when House usually didn't seem to care about emotions period. Foreman's mouth suddenly opened as he looked at House with questioning eyes, as something unthinkable ran through his mind, but he quickly closed his mouth knowing he'd never have the balls to ask that question even if he was sure, which he wasn't.

House swallowed and stood straighter, although he was exhausted, in an intimidating way as he could tell what had cross his young fellow's mind. "Anyway, I'm glad you caught me, saves me from having to call you later. You're in charge next week, I'm going to be out." He said flatly

Foreman knew that was House's way of ending the previous conversation. "Okay," he said factually with a nod.

House twirled his tongue in his mouth surprised Foreman wasn't asking why. He knew he should probably leave it alone, but he couldn't. "You're not going to ask why I'll be gone for a full week?"

Foreman shook his head, "I figured you'd tell me if you thought it was any of my business." He said seriously.

House was grateful for the respect to his privacy, "If you and the team get stuck on any hard cases, you have my number and e-mail. I'll make sure to get back to you quickly."

"Yep," Foreman said with a half smile and walked off.

House started back on his way out to hear a honk and see Wilson's car already outside waiting on him. He sigh as he wondered if understood if Wilson understood what the wore 'discrete' meant while he tried to pick up his pace. He felt a little relieved when he got in the car that no one else had stopped him.

Wilson looked over at him, "So, what did Foreman want?"

"To update me on Tommy, now can we go," House said with some frustration as he wanted to get away from work and everyone's prying eyes.

"Yeah," Wilson said as he got the car moving. "What do you want to pick up for dinner?" He asked but no response came. He looked over at House to see the man in deep thought with a frown. His lip twitched as he hated seeing his friend struggling with this diagnoses. "Hey, House?" he said as he moved his hand to his friend covered arm but House jerked away when he got within two inches of him.

"Don't," House said sharply and blinked at the road a head of them, "did you say something?"

"I asked what you wanted to get to eat," Wilson said as he pulled his hand back from his friend, trying not to take it personally.

"I'm not really that hungry, just stop wherever you want. I'm probably not going to get anything anyways." House said as his right hand rubbed on his thigh.

"Maybe if you ate something you'd feel better," Wilson softly as he glanced at him with concern.

House looked at Wilson with irritation, "Some how I doubt a good meal is going to make me feel any better about all of this."

"When's the last time you ate?" He asked to see House roll his eyes. "Seriously, think about it," Wilson implored as he continued to glace from the road to House.

House thought about it, he hadn't eaten all day, actually the last meal he remembered eating was breakfast from the day before. He knew he should eat something, but he didn't have any appetite. "I'll let you stuff me full of food tomorrow, tonight I just want to get some sleep."

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Cuddy was still sitting at her desk thinking about the news. Now that she knew what was going on all the things that didn't seem to make sense since the attack did. His mood swings and interactions with her and other now fit. She remembered some of the arguments Wilson and her got into and now they made more sense than they had, like her wanting to tell House that he might be the father of Stacy's baby. Cuddy almost jumped out of her seat at she heard a knock on the door. She quickly scanned the room, for what she wasn't sure, maybe some trace of what had occurred there within the last hour, but it was clear. "Come in," she said running his hands down her sides to insure her clothes didn't look ruffled by anything.

"Hi, Lisa, you've got a visitor," Beth said with a smile that faded as she looked at her boss. "Is something wrong?"

Cuddy shook her head and put on a fake smile, "No, who's here for me?"

"Mr. Wellington," Beth said with concern as she could tell something was wrong even if Lisa wasn't going to admit it.

Cuddy sighed, she'd completely forgotten about the date and a wave of guilt hit her hard. She'd refrained from dating Andrew for the last couple of months because of the night that her and House had their first date and the way he'd spoken to Greg. "Beth, I don't know what to do. House has so many wounds that no person could heal and as much as it hurts I know I have to give up on the idea of us ever being more than friends, but I don't want to cause him more grief than he already has. Yet, I feel like I owe it to myself to try dating other men, like Andrew Wellington out there."

"Then you should, House is strong and he'll be okay," Beth said with a comforting smile.

"Andrew and him didn't really get along," Cuddy said looking up a Beth with guilt.

Beth smiled, "And exactly how many men in the world does House get along with?"

Cuddy knew she had a point, if she started only dating people Greg approved of it would be a very short list. "Still, maybe I shouldn't be dating anyone yet not after..."

"Not after what?" Beth asked.

"He got some bad news about his health, it's part of the reason he made that production out there," Cuddy said sympathetically.

Beth looked down as she remembered the her time taking care of House when he got pneumonia only a few weeks ago and the upsetting things she's found out about his childhood. He hadn't said a lot, but the things he'd let slip were disturbing. "So, did you release his patient?"

"No, and it's good I didn't. He was right, as usual," Cuddy said softly as she fidgeted with a pin.

Beth swallowed as she looked up at her, "Lisa, it's obvious you care about him... are you SURE that there isn't a future with him? I know he's... well House but... I really think he loves you."

Cuddy tried to keep her eyes from tearing up, "Even if I wanted to give it a shot, he'd never.. not now," she said shaking her head.

"Then you should go on the date. If there is one thing I know about House it's that he can't stand gray areas, not on stuff like this. It has to be all or nothing with him; you saw how it killed him when Stacy came back with her husband, and everyone saw how she'd flirt with him and then fight with him. A clean break would be better for him and honestly I think it would be better for you too." Beth said reassuringly.

"I know, it's just he really can't stand Andrew," Cuddy said with frown.

"All the more reason to date him. Do you really think it would be any easier on him if you were dating someone he liked? I'm sure it would be worse if you were dating Wilson than this Wellington guy." Beth said giving her a knowing look.

Cuddy took a deep breath, "You're right, I need to move on for both our sakes. Let him know I'll be right out, that I'm just gathering my things."

"Sure thing," Beth said and left.

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Wilson was unpacking the food he'd picked up on the way home. He'd been sure to over order hoping he'd be able to convince House to eat something when he heard a door shut and lock. He sighed as he looked at House's closed door and walked up to it. "Hey, if you need anything just let me know. I've still got some neuro-muscle blockers if you need one for your leg." He said loudly to the door with his hand on it tenderly.

House gritted his teeth, "And I still have a foot that'll fit up your ass!" He yelled back hostally as he dumped his backpack on the foot of the bed and threw his jacket into the windows. His body had a steady hum of pain radiating through it. It started at his head which had been in constant pain ever since he found out the news. He fell back onto the bed putting his hand up to it to feel the heat and sweat on his forehead, it could be a slight fever but he figured it was more likely hot from his brain trying to make sense of his new disease. He tried to take a deep breath but his chest tightened and he swallowed as he remembered the familiar pain of a broken heart from years before that now consumed him once again. It had taken him months to get the hang of breathing right after Stacy left, and even once he did just the start of her name on someones lips was all it took to make him completely forget about breathing again. He felt like crying, but even if he'd been willing to let in to it there were simply no tears left. He hissed as he straighten himself on the bed and pulled his legs up. The deep throbbing pain that echoed through them from his toes all the way up hips was at least a decent distraction from the heartbreak. Once he was laying properly on the bed he closed his burning eyes and tried to remind himself that at least the day was over with and nothing worse could happen.

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Cuddy gave Andrew a polite smile as they were in his car driving down town. "Sorry for keeping you waiting at work, I just had some stuff I had to deal with before leaving."

Andrew looked over at Lisa and her low cut shirt and grinned, "I've already told it was fine. I understand that you have a tasking job and believe me, you're definitely worth the wait." He said smoothly.

Cuddy blushed some and then Greg popped in her head and she tried to push him out. It was over, there was no reason to torture herself about it. "I'm glad you think so, by the way, do you intend to tell me where it is exactly that we're going or did you want to keep that to yourself." She said with half a flirtatious smile, as half her mind was still on House.

"Well that depends, do you like surprises?" Andrew said with a smile as he kept his eyes on the road.

Cuddy smiled, "I like good surprises like a nice dinner, but not the bad ones like you're taking me to one of your relatives house to diagnose some weird fungus they have on their foot."

Andrew looked at her with a eyebrow drawn up, "Has that actually happen before? Someone took you to do a check up on a relative?"

Cuddy grimaced, "Twice actually," she said shaking her head and smiling.

"Well, I can promise you I have no intention of sharing you with anyone tonight. I've been fond of you for a long time Lisa, honestly who wouldn't be. You're gorgeous, smart, and have passion. So I can promise you that tonight is strictly about us having fun, and if any of my sick relatives have a problem with that I'll tell them to schedule their own appointment with you and wait their turn." He said looking back at the road.

Cuddy wondered what 'fun' meant. She might be ready for a date with him, but she wasn't ready for sex with another man, not after what Greg and her shared. No man could feel Greg's shoes in any area but ESPECIALLY in the bedroom. It was closer to a spiritual experience that it was to 'sex'.

"Hey, you feeling alright?" Andrew asked looking over at Lisa as he was parked and the valet started toward the car.

"Yeah, I'm.. fine, I was just thinking about.. work, I'm sorry," She said trying to smile as she looked to see it was the same restaurant that she'd had her first official date with Greg at.

111111111111

Wilson had finished dinner and put the left overs in the refrigerator, usually he'd be watching TV by now but instead he was drinking coffee as he sat at the table staring at the door to House's bedroom. He was struggling with the thought of checking up on him or just leaving him alone. He was concerned, especially after seeing how upset House had gotten, that he might do something drastic or self-destructive. But at the same time, if House wanted time to himself then who was he to say no. This wasn't a small thing, it was a life changing disease that had no known cure.

House's arm twitched as he snored. _He was looking at the the chest of man with interest as he saw blood seeping out from a fresh bullet wound. There were hands pulling furiously at the clothing and cutting away at the fabric as he was slowing zooming out some when something troubling caught his eyes, there were scars on the chest and neck like the ones he had. His felt a panic as he noticed the hands weren't gloved and even before he could see the face of the owner he knew. "Wilson you idiot!" he roared and as if on command he could see Wilson squatted beside his limp body, his hands covered in blood as he held a small piece of fabric against the wound. House tried to pull him back and away from his other body but Wilson wasn't fazed by his efforts. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you want to get HIV!" House said with a snarl as he once again tried to shove Wilson away from his body._

"_You don't get to go this easy, stay with me, House," Wilson with emotion._

_House felt a wave of emotion hit him, "Don't.. I'm I'm not worth it," he said brokenly as he looked into his best friends eyes. "Listen," he whispered and swallowed hard, "I know you don't see that, but.. everyone else.."his throat choked up some, "they know I'm not worth it." He said as his eyes began to tear up, "Please, Wilson, I can't be the thing that hurts you... please," he begged and took a relieved breath of air as he saw Wilson pull his hands back as some gloved up men put his body on a gurney and wheeled it away. He watched as Wilson walked over to the sink in the DDX room and wash his hands and then his eyes widened along with Wilson's as they both saw a cut on his finger. House looked at it with horror filled eyes as he looked at Wilson who starred at it in shock. "No, NO! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!" House bellowed as he looked up with a look of pure hatred. "I know why you've put me through the crap I've endured, and I'V NEVER said I didn't deserve it, but you're not going to take HIM!"_

"_I.. I don't remember even having a cut... I.. I," Wilson mumbled looking at the cut on his finger with surprise._

_House looked at Wilson as his lip tremble, "How could you be such an moron," he said walking closer. "I'm... I hate," he cursed the tears that flowed from his eyes, "I'm sorry, I thought if I tried I wouldn't ruin your life too, at least not too bad." House said as he sniffled, "James... James I'm sorry."_

_Wilson swallowed hard, "I guess it fits, I always had a feeling that House would some how play a part in my death. I guess the only surprise is that it wasn't from the stress," he said numbly._

"_You should have gotten away from me," House said as he sobbed some. "No one else was stupid enough to be my friend because they could see it, that there was something... something wrong with me! WHY... WHY COULDN'T YOU SEE THAT!" He yell and then sobbed uncontrollably._

Wilson unlocked House's room after hearing a hard fall and opened the door to find House thrashing about on the floor and ran to his side.

"CAN'T HAVE HIM!" House yelled from his sleep.

"House, it's just a dream, wake up," Wilson said with concern.

"I deserve," House mumbled turning his head some.

Wilson sighed, "Whatever you think you deserve I'm sure you're wrong. Now wake up!" He said more firmly

House didn't wake, "sorry... thought..bad," he said and whimpered some.

"Damnit, HOUSE, wake UP!" Wilson yelled as the sound of whimpering from House scared the crap out of him.

"COULDN'T YOU SEE!" House roared.

Wilson grabbed Houses arms and shook him hard, "WAKE UP!" He yelled as loud as he could.

House's wet eyes popped open

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Cuddy smiled as Andrew walked her up to the door. "Thanks, I had a great time. I don't know how to explain to you how much I needed this today."

Andrew smiled back putting an hand on her arm and rubbing it. "It was my pleasure, I promise you," he said grinning more, "Tell me, how is it that I'm lucky enough to have had a date with you?"

"You're not too bad yourself, you know," Cuddy said playfully.

Andrew leaned in smoothly and kissed her on the lips. He started off gentle, but as he began to progress Cuddy pulled back.

Cuddy felt sick, "We should do this again sometime, call me," she said and quickly slipped into her home. She stood with her back to the door as one hand touched her lips, it hasn't been anything like House's lips. It didn't give her butterflies or stimulate her body, no it was just... a kiss that made her feel sick with guilt. "This is stupid, he'd tell me I was an idiot for feeling this way," she said to herself.

"Dr. Cuddy, how did the date go?" Sarah asked giving her boss an odd look since her back was glued to the door and she'd just caught her talking to herself.

Cuddy half smiled hoping her babysitter hadn't seen her talking to herself. "It...was... okay," she said quickly looking away and walking into the living room.

"He's not as good as that other guy, huh?" Sarah said with knowing smile.

Cuddy looked at the young woman and frowned, "No, he isn't," she said and started pulling out money from her wallet.

"So... why not go back to the last guy? You obviously liked him better, and he's another doctor so he'd understand your hours and work... sounds perfect, unless he was bad to you of course," Sarah said hoping that wasn't the case.

"No," Cuddy said shaking her head, "he wasn't bad, despite what I thought he'd be like. He was..." her eyes teared up some. "It just didn't work, he's got some health issues and he want's me to move on, and that's what I'm trying to do, it's just hard."

Sarah felt bad for her boss and sighed, "Well then he most be an idiot to let you go."

"Actually he's a genius, and.. he's right, as much as I care about him I couldn't be with him," Cuddy said handing the money over. "Sorry to trouble you with my problems, you've been such a help, Sarah, thanks again for watching her."

"It's no trouble and you know I love Rachel," Sarah said with a smile and was about to leave but stopped. "I know it's none of my business, but well... I just have to know, like reading the end of a good romance novel, why couldn't you be with him?"

Cuddy sat on the arm cushion of the as she chewed her lips contemplating if she should say. Sarah didn't know House at all, not even his name. "He found out today that he has HIV. It was a freak accident that he got exposed to it, which was why he was keeping his distance from me the last three months. He was trying to protect me but now... he knows, and I have Rachel to consider. I know it sounds awful but keeping her safe, and myself save so I can raise her has to be my first priority."

"No, I understand, it's just a terrible situation," Sarah said with sorrow. "The thing is, I've never seen you as happy as you seemed after spending time with him. I hope you find someone that makes you feel like he did again." She said and left.

Cuddy sighed doubtful as she watched Sarah leave.

111111111111

"GET THE HELL OFF ME!" House yelled frantically as he pushed Wilson away.

Wilson held his hands up in the air as he watched House look and feel of his own chest and then look at his hands with bewilderment. "It was just dream," he said and frowned as he noticed House was shaking some. "It must have been a bad one, do you want to talk about it?" he asked moving back some to give House space.

"You're an idiot!" House stated with narrowed eyes as he started to try and get up on the bed, "Only you would be stupid enough to.."

"To think you might want to deal with something for once rather than ignoring it? We'll I'm sorry House but I keep believing that someday you'll grow up." Wilson said standing up and looking down at him.

House rolled his eyes, "Only you would be stupid enough to try to save me. In my dream I got shot and there you were being a moron and trying to stop the bleeding with your bare hands. I kept yelling at you to stop, but did you listen? Of course not and do you want to know how that turned out? HUH? Afterwords you were washing you hands and there was a cut on one of your fingers!" He said bitterly as he struggled to get on the bed and Wilson helped him out.

Wilson's gaze turned concerned as he listened to House's dream, "First of all, that didn't happen and second, if you were shot in front of me and I had a chance to either let you die or save your life then you can bet your ass I'd try to save you. That doesn't change because you're HIV positive."

"What do you mean it doesn't CHANGE anything! IT CHANGES EVERYTHING!" House said raising his voice as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Wilson gritted his teeth, "No it doesn't, it doesn't change how I feel about you House," he said with emotion.

"Fuck how you..." House stopped talking as his mind seemed to stop as Wilson's lips were pressed against his.

Wilson hadn't even thought about it about, it just happened. One moment he was yelling at House and the next moment he was kissing him. His body kept leaning in to the point House was pinned against the bed as his tongue ravished his friends mouth.

As soon as House's mind caught up to what was happening he pushed Wilson off with all his strength making Wilson stumble back, but not quite fall. He looked Wilson with shocked eyes, "Get out," he said firmly as the silence of the room had his ears ringing.

Wilson licked his lips as stood up and looked down at House on the bed. He'd shocked himself by his actions but it had felt so good and right once his lips had connected with Houses. He reached out to House who pulled back from him as if his hands were on fire.

"I said GET OUT!" House yelled as a cold fear filled him.

Wilson stared into those deep blue eyes, "If you can honestly tell me you didn't like it then I'll forget that..."

"Stay the fuck away from me," House said looking at him with accusing eyes. "I'll pretend this never happened if you walk away now, but if you try something like that again I'll hurt you, Wilson, do you understand me?" He said dead serious.

Wilson gritted his teeth, as he looked down at House and a anger filled him. He'd never looked at House that way, at least not consciously until a minute ago, but now that he was he couldn't help but be hurt and pissed by the rejection. Who the fuck was House to reject HIM? He'd sacrificed so much for the him and what had he gotten for it? Nothing. He scoffed as he left the room slamming the bedroom door as he left.

House locked his room door as soon as Wilson was gone. He knew Wilson had a key but still it made him feel safer. He wished he could taste alcohol on Wilson's breath so he could shrug off the kiss as some drunken mistake, but he couldn't.

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Wilson was a ball of raw emotions as he closed the door to his room. What he hell had happened? Why had he kissed his best friend? Why did he want to continue kissing him? _This is his fault. If he wasn't so damn needy and wasn't occupying every moment of your time, then you'd be getting some with your girlfriend and wouldn't be so horny._ "Yeah, that's all it was," Wilson said to himself but wasn't sure if he believed it completely as he looked down at his tented pants. "I'm not gay," he said feeling scared and unsure.

"_Of course you aren't, your just hard at the thought of me,"_ House's voice rang in his ears.

"Fuck you, House," Wilson said taking off his clothes.

"_Oh, I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you Wilson? To have me bent over your bed as you plowed my soil with your..." _House's imaginary voice was cut off by Wilson.

"Shut the hell up!" Wilson spat but stoked himself all the same as he suddenly imagined House with a big red gag in his mouth. "Ohhh," he moaned softly with his eyes closed tight. _He needs it, you know he does. He hasn't been touched by anyone in months and who else is going to give him what he needs?_ "No one, I always have to do everything for him," Wilson said now imagining House bend over a desk with the red gag still in place. He licked his lips as he walked up behind the man in his mind and looked at his bare ass. He opened his hand rubbing his hard dick against it as he imagined it was House's body. Even in his mind House jerked away from the touch but Wilson grabbed his arms and pinned him to the desk, "Quit fighting this, you know you want it," he whispered. _That's just like him, always fighting back against what everyone else knows is good for him. He needs you to take control. You're doing this for his own good._ Wilson swallowed as he suddenly imagined black straps holding House down in his mind and put the tip of himself at his opening. "It's okay," he said soothingly to the struggling body beneath him. "Deep down there is a part of you that wants this, a part of you that NEEDS this," he said softly as he entered him. Wilson gritting his teeth as he his hand had a death grip on his cock to simulated how tight House's ass would be and it hurt and felt so good at the same time. "Aghh," he choked out as he fucked House's ass and soon the struggling stopped and Wilson licked his lips as he slowed down his pace with a smirk as looked in House's eyes to see they were dilated with want. "See, I knew you wanted it," he said pulling House's gag out to hear deep moans escape him. Wilson quickened his pace and was soon cumming in his friends tight hot ass. "Who owns you," Wilson said still panting. _You own him, you control him, only you can take him. He needs only you,"_said a dark voice in his head that scared himself some. Wilson opened his eyes to see his hands were covered in cum and swallowed hard as he fell to his knees. "Oh, God, what's wrong with me?" He said brokenly as he felt hot tears fill his eyes.


	94. Chapter 94 : Lovely Outing

The night passed quickly and slowly at the same time, but at least by the time it had come Wilson had a plan on how to handle what had happened last night, even if he still wasn't sure why it had happened. He was in the kitchen cooking breakfast when he saw House slowly come out of his room. "Hey, you want some coffee?" He asked casually.

House froze as he looked at Wilson with wide tired eyes, "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why? I figured after the night you had you'd be needing a hot cup?" Wilson said with a warm smile as he whisked the eggs.

House glanced around the room as he was on edge, "Wilson, I don't want to talk about last night, not this morning or ever," he said seriously.

Wilson looked at House with a sympathetic yet confused face, "Shit, that must have been one hell of a nightmare, but sure, if you don't want to talk about it then you don't have too."

House narrowed his eyes on Wilson some, "Yeah, well the nightmare isn't what I was talking about. I was talking about what happened after the dream, when you woke me up."

Wilson gave House a concerned look as he turned off the heat for the eggs and walked toward House to see a dark bruise on the side of his head, "House... I didn't wake you up, even though you did get pretty loud, because last time I did you had a fit and... what happened to your head?"

House kept an eye on him as he opened the bathroom door, "Yes you did, and nothing is wrong with..." he stopped as he looked in the mirror to see a bruise on his head.

Wilson stopped outside the bathroom as he watched House with worry, "Are you sure you're alright? I mean if you're suffering from delusions then I need to know."

House looked at Wilson with scared eyes, "Is this just you... messing with me or... do you really not know what I'm talking about?"

"No I don't, but you can tell me about it. Come on and have a cup of coffee," Wilson said pulling out a chair for him.

House shook his head, "No, I need a shower," he said as he started to close the door but stopped. "Listen, if this is just a show for me, then please stop it because I'm really not sure what to believe anymore." He said glancing at Wilson.

Wilson frowned, "House, I honestly don't know what you're talking about, but I think that maybe I should call Dr. Ryan and set you up for an appointment. You're obviously... going through a lot right now, maybe she could help."

House felt scared at the acceptance that maybe he'd imagined the whole thing, "No, it's fine. I... remember now. I guess I just wasn't completely awake yet."

Wilson didn't look like he completely believed him, "What happened in the dream House? You look.. freaked out?" He asked softly.

House shook his head, "Nothing important, I'm just going to take my shower. I need to be ready when Cuddy get's here."

"Yeah," Wilson said and when the door closed he let out a relieved sigh. A part of him felt bad, he knew that he'd scared House into questioning his own sanity, but House needed him right now and allowing there to be a wedge in their friendship wouldn't do anyone of them any good.

House sat down in the chair in the shower as he washed himself. The entire time questioning what had happened last night, rather it was real or a dream or a delusion and then what it meant? He loved Wilson like a brother but there was nothing sexual about their relationship and he didn't want anything sexual from Wilson, even in the 'episode' he'd pushed Wilson away. He wondered if that was what this was really about. Was it about him being scared to let Wilson love him as a friend, and his subconscious trying to tell him not to push his only friend away? Or... was he just losing it, again? It had just seemed so real. House was drying off when he had an idea to tell for sure if Wilson was messing with him or if he was telling the truth.

Wilson was sitting at the table with both their plates made when he heard House exit the bathroom, "Hey, do you... SHIT HOUSE!" He using his hand to block his view of House's bare body from his eyes so he only saw his head. "What the hell, did you forget how to wrap a towel around your waist?!"

House shrugged, "What's the point, we're both men and you've seen me naked before?"

"Only when there was a good reason too, like you needing help in the tub," Wilson said letting his hand drop as he looked back at his food. "I'm telling you now if you sit down at this table naked you're taking the chair with you."

House swallowed, Wilson wasn't ogling him in the least. "So, does that go for the big screen too?" he said trying to make a joke out of it.

Wilson half laughed half cringed, "I swear if you put your bare ass on my TV your baby grand will never be the same."

"That's not fair, my baby grand is worth a hell of a lot more than you're stupid TV," House argued.

Wilson shrugged, "All is fair in love and war, and putting you naked body on another man's TV is the start of a war."

"Fine, you're no fun," House said making his way to his room to get dressed. When he closed the door he looked back at the door with scared eyes. "You've got to pull it together," he said softly to himself as he sat on the edge of the bed for a moment trying to wrap his mind around the fact his memory hadn't been real.

Wilson stared at the door in confusion, last night the idea of seeing House naked had been alluring, but this morning he hadn't found him appealing. Hell, he'd masturbated to the thought of him, but he felt nothing for him in that way now. What had changed? _It could be the fact I satisfied myself, and I'd been needing that release_, he thought but wasn't quite buying it. Something about last night was different from most nights... but he wasn't sure what that was.

House felt embarrassed as he limped to the table with his crutches, how could he have believed that Wilson could do something like that to him? "Thanks for making breakfast," House said as he sat down at the table.

Wilson gave him a surprised smile, "Well thank you for thanking me," he replied with a goofy smile.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I must have gotten confused, I was pretty exhausted last night," House explained and then stared at the food. "So... I got pretty loud last night?" he asked taking a small bite of his food.

Wilson glanced at him to see House looked defeated and scared, which tugged at his heart. "Hey, don't worry about it. You got some horrible news last night and had some nightmares, but it'll get better."

House met Wilson's eyes for a second, then quickly looked back to his food and nodded. Here Wilson was being a good friend, a better friend than he deserved. "I think things will be better when I get moved back to my apartment. You'll get your life back and I'll... well... I won't be a problem for you anymore."

The way the words slid off of House's tongue sent a bad vibe through Wilson that made him really look at House. "You aren't a problem for me now," he said as wondered if maybe this was too far, maybe House thinking he was cracking up was going to be the thing that pushed him over the edge.

House looked up at Wilson with gratitude, "James... I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for you. You've... done more for me then anyone else has... way more than I've ever deserved. You deserve a better friend than me but... I wanted you to know I appreciate it, even if I don't always say it."

Wilson had to look away from the sensarity in House's eyes, "I feel the same way about you. Now, let eat before it get's cold." He said wondering if the guilty would swallow him whole.

By the time Cuddy made it over Wilson was almost done with the paper and House had packed up his room. "Hi," Wilson said greeting her at the door and holding it open for her.

Cuddy gave him a sympathetic smile, "How's he doing today?"

Wilson sighed, "It sounded like he had some pretty bad nightmares last night and he seems depressed. I guess nothing that you wouldn't expect," he said not keeping eye contact with her.

Cuddy chewed her lip, "Can I get your advice on something?"

"Sure," he said giving her a concerned look.

"I.." she swallowed as guilt hit her, "I went on a date last with... well another man of course," she said looking towards House's bedroom door that was still closed, "and I was wondering if you.. what or when.."

"Wow," Wilson gasped as he took a step back from her and shook his head, "not even a couple days before you," he said feeling slightly betrayed and he wasn't even the one she'd moved on from.

Cuddy couldn't believe he was going to give her a hard time about this. "He's HIV positive and we were just dating, it wasn't like were were 'married'." She said giving him a knowing look, "Also I'm not telling you so I can get your approval or blessing, I just wanted your opinion on when I should tell House."

"Tell him whenever you want," he said as he started to walk away from her.

"I have a right to move on, just as much right as he had not to tell me that he might be HIV positive, if not more," She said harshly but kept her volume low.

Wilson shook his head and looked at her, "I'm not being a smart ass with you," he said watching her. "House... Jesus, Cuddy, he loves you... it doesn't matter if you tell him today or a three years from now, it's going to hurt him, there's never going to be a good time."

Cuddy frowned as she tried to keep her eyes from watering, "I know... I just don't know what's worse, telling him now.. or him finding out on his own later."

"Tell him today," Wilson said softly after weighing the options, "he hates lies and if you don't tell him he'll think it's because you didn't think he could handle it, which will just make things worse, that's my opinion."

She nodded in agreement as she made her way to House's door and opened it to see House staring at a stack of boxes looking lost. "You ready?" she asked, but his gaze didn't move, "House?" she said, swallowing as he still didn't move and she waited. It took ten minutes or more before he's head slowly drifted her way.

House looked at Cuddy standing in the door of Wilson's guest bedroom with confusion. "How long have you been there?" he asked.

Cuddy gave him a strong smile, "Not long. Well... you better come on or you're not going to have a bed to sleep on."

House smirked slightly as he stood up on his crutches, "I guess as long as I have a pot to piss in I'd make it," he said limping after her.

"Yes, because you're such a simple man," Cuddy said sarcastically.

House shrugged, "I could be."

She smiled at that thought as she opened the door for them, "Greg, I doubt there has ever been a room where you weren't the most interesting person in it."

"Maybe, but a lot of those times the other people there didn't have a clue to who I was," he said slipping past her.

In the car things became silent, Cuddy wasn't sure if it was 'silent awkward', or if it was just 'silent'. She could tell House was thinking, but about what she wasn't sure. She sighed figuring it was best to let it be, if House decided he wanted to talk he would.

_What's wrong with me?_ House questioned as he was still thinking about last nights dream/delusion. He looked up to see that Bakers St was the next road and swallowed, "Take a right up here, I want to stop by my place," he said.

Cuddy thought about arguing, but what was the point. He was going to be moving back to his place tonight or by tomorrow at least. "Okay," she said taking the turn and parking in front of his building. She watched as he stared at if for a while.

House put his hand on the car door handle but didn't open it as he looked at the outside of it. A lot had changed since the last time he was sitting outside the building, and yet it looked the same. He took a deep breath of air and got out of the car then made his way in the building on his crutches. He stopped when he saw his door. "Who did this?" he asked turning to look at Cuddy who was behind him.

"What do yo.." She started.

"WHO FIXED IT?!" He yelled looking at the door.

"I don't know, Wilson probably," Cuddy answered, wondering why it mattered.

House's jaw flexed as he unlocked the door and made his way to his bedroom with Cuddy behind him. His eyes scanned the bedroom for any sign that the night that had ruined his life had happened, but there was none. The bed was missing, the carpet scrubbed clean and even the wall that he'd thrown Young through. His hand rubbed the spot on the wall trying to feel for an indication it had happened, but the work was solid. "It's all gone," he said softly looking back at the room, "like it never even happened."

Cuddy could tell that this was upsetting to him in a way, but couldn't for the life of her figure out why. "It was bad enough that you had to endure what those men did to you, did you really think we'd leave it the way it was that night? It stunk of burnt flesh and ..

"It was MY BURNT FLESH! It should have been MY choice if I wanted it to be cleaned up!" House said shaking his head. "Now... it's like it never even happened, but it did," he said looking to Cuddy with haunted eyes, "I know because I can't forget it. I was in this very room that I was forced to kill men for the first time in decades and I was infected right here," he said looking down as he could see Young on top of him as blood ran out of his neck onto his face.

Cuddy's mouth hung open as she could see the horror on his face. The silence that filled the room was heavy with grief and loss as she tried to find some comforting words. "Yeah, I remember that night, we were suppose to have dinner at my place and spend time with Rachael and," she sniffled some, "I just thought you'd decided not to show."

House swallowed as he watched her, he'd never really gotten to hear how that night had been for them.

Her hands shook, "Then Wilson called and I," she half laughed, "I jumped on him. I told him that I didn't care what the excuse was that I didn't want to hear it. I was so.. so mad and now... now I wish more than ever that you were just being a jerk and what happened, hadn't happened." She looked away from him, "I was mad when he told me you were at the hospital, I thought you'd done something reckless again just to scare the shit out of both of us, so I marched into your room to tell you what an ass you were and...," she swallowed shaking her head.

"You had every reason to think that, considering th..." he stopped talking as she pushed him hard in the chest making him stubble back.

"Just stop it, okay! Stop being..." Cuddy said almost in tears, "the nice understanding guy! How is it that I put up with you being a jerk for years and finally when you start to show me your sweet side, something like this has to come along and ruin it?"

House could see the pain in her eyes and it ripped at him from the inside out. He had finally been on the right track to a woman who cared about him, who wanted a family, and knew how to handle him. He turned away from her as he was no longer able to look her in the eyes. "I didn't mean for this to happen, I guess it would have been better if I'd never even..." he said, unable to finish it, because being with her again, feeling her love had been the best thing he'd felt in such a long time. He took in a desperate breath of air as he tried not to concentrate on the pain in his chest, "I'm sorry," he practically whispered.

Cuddy wanted to yell at him but couldn't. They were both hurting and he was going through so much right now. She put a hand on his shoulder and felt it drop some.

"Please don't, it only makes all of this harder," he said tightening his hold on his crutches and looking where the bed had been.

She let her hand slide back down to her side and frowned, "Why would you ever want reminders of that night, Greg?" she asked and swallowed as she saw one of his hands shaking so bad that his entire crutch was shaking with it.

"You know why I hang on to things?" House said still staring at where the bed should be.

"No," Cuddy said softly with concern.

"To remember both good and bad, like my guitar in there... it was my first one, and it was also the one that my father pulled a string off of and choked me with. It's been with me through basics and college and different jobs, Stacy and you.. walking and not. Playing that guitar reminds me of all of those things, it lets me know they were real. What happened here that night, it was real... but now, now it feels like it did back with my dad, something bad happens and it's swept under the rug, like it never happened, like it didn't even matter." He said and walked out the bedroom door.

Cuddy followed him out to the car. She didn't have any idea of what to say that would help so she kept her mouth closed and drove them to a big furniture store.

11111111111

"Hi there, my name is Brandon, how can I help you two today?" Brandon said with a big smile and his hand out to the man as he caught a couple looking at the beds.

House ground his teeth, he'd been hoping on avoiding the sales man. He noticed the hand but made no move to shake it. "It's flu season, and we were just looking at the beds, but don't worry we'll get you when we need you," he said flatly while staring the guy down.

Cuddy put on a apologetic smile, "Sorry, but his immune system isn't the best so.. you can never be too careful. We would appreciate it though if you could tell us more about the mattresses."

"Sure thing, by the way, you two make a cute couple," Brandon said walking over to the high end beds.

"We're actually not ..." Cuddy started but was cut off by House.

"Looking for something that could help with my leg," House said watching Brandon.

Brandon looked a little confused but didn't let that stop him, "Well now we're getting somewhere! So what kind of problem do you have with your leg?"

"I'm missing about 5 lbs of muscle from the right thigh," House answered casually.

"Oh.. wow, that must be pretty painful. It would probably help if you'd tell me what kind of mattress you were sleeping on before and if it seemed to help any?" Brandon asked.

House shrugged, "Just a regular mattress that I'd had for about seventeen years, couldn't say if it was any better or worse since my legs only been messed up for the past ten years or so."

Brandon smiled, "Well mattresses have changed a lot in the last two decades, so I'm sure we can find you something that will make you leg feel better than the old mattress you had. Here, get up on this one and see what you think," he said patting the most expensive mattress he had.

House walked up to the mattress and sat down on the edge carefully and rubbed his thigh some. Brandon watched him with concern and glanced at the woman to see her giving him a reassuring smile. "You should try it out too, you want to make sure you get something you both like," Brandon said.

Cuddy walked over to the other side of the bed to lay down, while watching House. "Hey, it feels pretty good. You should lay down with me," she said hoping to make him feel more comfortable.

He looked back at her and nodded as he slowly laid down and stretched out his leg, which hung over the edge some. He felt awkward laying down in a store with the lights on as he saw the sales man walk to his side.

"Let me show you the best thing about this bed," Brandon said with a smile as he grabbed for a remote above the man's head when suddenly the man had a hold of his arm in a death grip with cold eyes.

Cuddy swallowed, "Greg, let him go," she said softly as she looked at the sales man who looked scared.

House felt his hand shaking as he let go of the man, "I think things would go better if you'd just give us our space. I promise, if we find something we want we'll get you."

Brandon nodded with confusion, "Um, sure thing," he said putting his card on the side of the bed and leaving.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked him with concern.

He shook his head and found the remote. He pressed the button for massage and sighed some as tried to relax.

Cuddy laid there for a couple of minutes enjoying the bed, but when she looked over to House she realized he'd fallen asleep. "I think we've found the one," she whispered and got off the bed. She walked up to the counter while keeping an eye on him. "Can I speak with Brandon?" she asked.

"Hey," Brandon said hearing his name and walked over, "what can I help you with?"

"I've decided on that bed, the one he's on," She said with a smile.

"That's an excellent choice, I assume you want it in a California king," he said with a smile.

"What's the difference?" she asked.

"California king is about the same width as a queen but it's longer so his feet wouldn't hang off the edge."

Cuddy smiled, "That sounds perfect and I want to make sure the bed I get for him has the massage option."

Brandon pulled out a brochure, "I'm sure that will help his leg some, it's actually the base that changes when you get that option, and it will also move to set the bed up. If he has problems getting out of the bed it should help."

She nodded, "And you have all of this in stock, because we'd need it delivered today?"

"Today? Let me go and see about that," he said as he started to go to the back.

"Also I'll need a head and foot board along with a frame," Cuddy said with pleading smile.

Brandon sighed, "Listen, we usually sell bedroom suites together, but I'll go in the back and see what I can find," he said with a worn smile and left.

Cuddy literally crossed her fingers as she watched House to see his arm jerk in his sleep. How different this would be if he'd never been attacked. They'd be snuggling on all the beds together and then when that got it home... well they'd make sure it got worn in, but instead he was having problems containing his PTSD symptoms. She swallowed as she saw him jerk more and thought about the conversation she was going to have with him today, the only good thing was as much as he was going through this had to be small.

Brandon walked back up to the counter to see her watching her odd boyfriend, "So, what is your name?"

Cuddy turned around to face him, "Sorry I never introduced myself, it's Dr. Cuddy," she said with a smile.

"Well, I don't have a California king in stock, but one of our other stores do and we can get it delivered tonight, as for the hardware for a bed I'll show you what we have in stock that we can sell separate from a suite." Brandon said leading her to the back of the store.

Cuddy felt uncomfortable with House not being in her sight as she quickly made her way to the back with him.

"Here we go, sorry there isn't much selection, but this is all we have that fits that criteria," he said showing her the four he had.

"That one will work, it matches his other bedroom furniture the best," Cuddy said pointing to one as she started to make her way back so she could see House.

Brandon nodded as he tried to catch up to her, "So would you like to apply for financing through us?"

"No, I'll pay with my card," she said watching House with concern as some people were walking around the beds.

Brandon walked behind the counter and totaled the merchandise, "Where do you need this delivered?"

"221B Bakers Street, Plansboro, NJ," Cuddy answered glancing at him.

"Okay, with delivery and tax that will be $8064.63," Brandon said casually.

Cuddy couldn't believe her ears, her bed hadn't cost that much but it was almost ten years old and it didn't have massage of moving options. "So, exactly how much is the bed?"

"The California king mattress with the specialty base and warranty run $7000.00 and the hardware for the bed I can do for $350.00, and it's $100 for rush delivery and with tax that make it 8064.63," he explained hoping that she wouldn't pick out a cheaper bed.

She looked back at House who was still asleep and nodded, "Okay," she said looking back at Brandon as she handed him one of her credit cards.

"Hey, it's time to get up," Cuddy said softly with concern at the sweat on Greg's brow.

House blinked rapidly as he sat up on the bed and remembered that they had been shopping for a new bed when he must have fallen asleep. "Yeah, sorry I zonked out, we should probably look at some of the other beds."

Cuddy smiled some, "No, I think we found the right one. I've already bought it and it should be delivered to you place around 7pm tonight," she said with smirk.

"Thanks," House said softly as he stood up on the crutches with a grimace.

Her smile faded as she could see he was in pain, "You okay? Wilson said you had some pretty bad dreams last night, and you were jerking around a bit when you fell asleep on the bed here."

He swallowed as he took slow steady steps out of the store, "I'll be fine," he said flatly

Cuddy nodded even thought she didn't completely agree. "Gre... Hou..." she stopped as she wasn't sure what she should call him anymore.

House frowned as he looked at her, "Call me House, it's.. more normal."

"House... why did you let the salesman think we were still together?" She asked with questioning eyes.

He shrugged, "because it's weird to go bed shopping with someone you're not with, and then he'd start asking questions... questions I don't feel like answering or explaining."

Cuddy gave him a relieved smile as they got in her car, "That makes sense, I was just wanting to make sure that it wasn't for any other reasons."

House glanced at her, "What other reason would there be?"

She swallowed hard, "I don't know... maybe you still want to give us a shot, but Greg I can't... I have.."

"It's over, I know that. I wouldn't allow you to put yourself at risk for me even if you were willing!" he said loudly.

Cuddy bit her lip some, "If I didn't have Rachael to think about I'd be fighting you tooth and nail on this, but I have to put her needs first."

"I know, it's fine, I'm glad your letting it go. It's best for all of us," House said with a sad smile.

She felt her eyes water some and swallowed, "Greg... I need to tell you something," she said watching him. "I... last night I went on a date. It was something I already had scheduled before..." she stopped not knowing how to phrase it.

"Before my meltdown in your office," he provided watching her with hurt eyes.

Cuddy nodded softly, "Greg I'm so sorry, I wasn't trying to hurt you, it's just... well.. I thought it was best if I try to move on. I need to try to move on..." she implored, "but maybe it was too soon. I don't know. I mean... I still love you, I still miss you."

"Don't, it's … good. You should move on, it's not like anything is going to change, right? So why not move on?" House said with a frown.

"Because... I love you," she said with wet eyes.

House choked up as he turned away from her to look out the window at the parking lot in front of the furniture store that they were still at. "It doesn't make a difference," he said as he concentrated on breathing.

"And I thought you loved me," Cuddy said watching him.

"I do," House said looking at her, "and that's why I'm doing this!"

She shook her head, "No, you don't. If you'd loved me then you would've trusted me enough to tell me what was going on. Hell, I'm the ONE person you should have told, unless you have a sexual relationship with Wilson that I don't know about!" She said and scoffed, "I'm sure you loved me as much as YOU can love someone, but real love means you have to trust the person you're with. Maybe this was a blessing, to keep us from making a mistake."

He couldn't believe his ears... had she really just said it was a BLESSING that he was HIV positive? His chest felt cold and empty as he looked out the window to avoid her. _"I'm sure you loved me as much as YOU can love someone..."_ echoed in his mind. He wanted to call her an idiot for turning this on him, like he's love meant less because he hadn't been ready to tell her he might be HIV positive, but he didn't because it was a fight no one could win. Even if she agreed with him, he still would have HIV and he would still be losing her, so he kept his mouth shut.

Cuddy watched him as he stared out the window ignoring her feelings and it burned her up. "I feel sorry for you, I really do, because I don't think you'll ever really trust anyone and that means you really are going to be alone forever." She said waiting to see if he'd even try to deny the truth, but he didn't, he just sat there silently. "It's pathetic."

House gritted his teeth as he refused to let her cruel words bring him to tears. "I need to go by New Jersey Medical," he said absently.

She rolled her eyes, "Well, why don't I take you since I don't have anything better to do today," she said sarcastically as she drove in it's direction. As the minutes passed her anger at him faded, probably because it wasn't true anger, just pain and sorrow about the situation, not to say that she thought he'd done her right in keeping her in the dark. She glance at him a couple of times, trying to come up with the right words to apologize for her lashing out at him, but the words didn't come. When she finally parked at NMJ she thought she'd have a chance but he bolted out of the car before she even had the car in park. "Dammit," she said under her breath when she got out of the car to see he was already going in the entrance.

Jackie was entering her data from her last patient in the computer as she heard someone come up to the desk. "One moment," she said as she finished and looked up to see his cold blue eyes on hers. She gasped at the sight of him, "House... um... I need to set you up with an appointment with Dr. Hodges, he specializes in..."

"Shut up and give me the meds," he barked as his hands shook from pain, he'd over done it when he took off from Cuddy but he couldn't take hearing anymore of that shit.

Jackie stood up noticing how pale he looked along with the death grip and shaking of his arms. "You should sit down before you fall out. Dr. Tucker has written out some starting prescriptions for your condition, but you first have to have a consult about... about your..."

"Fuck the consult! I know what I'm in for, so just give the God damn prescription and I'll be on my way," House said through gritted teeth.

"I can't.." Jackie stopped as she saw him wobble and then lean heavily against the counter. "Please sit down," she implored.

"No," he said firmly, he was honestly afraid that if he said down he'd never be able to get up again.

"You're a stubborn ass, you know that right?" She said to see him look at her unphased. "There are protocols in place for reasons, getting this kind of news it can be hard to deal with, the consult will help you cope plus you still have to be tested again for confirmation." She said with pleading eyes as she saw Cuddy walk up behind him and hoped maybe she talk some sense into him.

Cuddy looked up at him with shock, "You haven't taken the second test?"

House rolled his eyes, "There's no point," he said coldly looking at Jackie while answering Cuddy's question.

"You don't know that," she said softly as hope filled her, "false positives happen."

"Maybe in your world," he said turning to look at her, "and why do you care, I thought this was a 'blessing'."

Cuddy grimaced at his words, she hadn't meant it that way. "I'm sorry, I was lashing out at you in the car. You have to know that I'm not happy about this. Please, do the second test and the consult, if not for you then for me." She pleaded warmly.

House laughed "Wow, leave it to you to try and make me having HIV all about YOU, and you call ME narcissistic." He said bitterly, "This has nothing to do with you or her or Wilson or anyone else. It's my burden, just like my father was and the leg and the attack and every other fucked up thing that's happened to me so you can quit telling me how I should handle it, that goes for both of you." He said seriously watching them. "Now, I'm asking you as nicely as I can to give me my prescriptions, and letting you know that I'm refusing the consult, which is my right as a patient. So, unless you plan on drugging me up and strapping me to a bed to make me do what you want, I suggest you give me what I've asked for and let me be on my way." He said to Jackie.

Jackie frowned as she opened a his file and took out the prescriptions, "Dr. House, I have a feeling this is the last I'll see of you for a while," she said which he didn't contradict, "please take care of yourself." She finished and handed him the prescriptions.

House nodded as he took the paper, "You too," he said as he turned and left with Cuddy quick on his heels. He was forcing himself to move quickly and was surprisingly succeeding until he tripped on his way out the door.

Cuddy ran over to him and bent down beside him and put a hand on his back which he jerked away from and she swallowed, "Are you hurt?"

He laugh bitterly as the pain (both emotional and physical) made him shake.

She grew concerned and as the crazed manic laughter continued him as he was laying face down on the concrete outside the hospital while people walked back giving him odd looks. "Listen, if your okay then we need to get you to the car." She said as a couple rolled there eyes at House mumbling something about drunks.

House's laughing grew, "You (laughter) really think I'm ALRIGHT!" he bellowed and laughed deeply.

Cuddy wasn't sure if he was laughing or sobbing as she frowned, "House, you're scaring me, I don't know what I'm suppose to do?"

He pushed himself over using one arm and looked up at her with shiny eyes, "When did you finally realize that being with me would be a mistake? Was it before last night?" he asked watching her. She looked away from him. "It was, wasn't it? I knew it." he with a scoffed laugh.

"Greg..," She started softly but was quickly cut off by him.

"Don't.. don't call me that, not after you just told me that you've already moved on to someone else and QUIT saying you LOVE me!" House yelled with pain in his voice. "All that time... from college to now you never said.. and now when it's all for nothing... now you decide to say it," he said in a horse whisper sadly. He took in a deep breath to try and calm himself some, "Just do me a favor and stop saying it," he said meeting her eyes.

"Okay," Cuddy answered with a sympathetic frown.

He nodded and tried to force his body upright but came crashing down to the hard concrete again. His jaw was tight from the pain as he scooted himself to the side of the door instead of in front of it.

"Let me help you," She said softly.

"You can help by pulling the car around," House said looking in the direction of the vechical.

"I'm sorry,but don't put yourself through more pain over me," Cuddy said truthfully.

He rolled his eyes, "This," he gestured to himself, "isn't about you, it's about independence. I'll be living on my own again soon and I'll have to deal with stuff like this on my own."

She thought about saying that pulling the car around wouldn't do any good if he still wasn't able to get up, but swallowed the statement and go the car. She was surprised to see him standing by the curb when she pulled up. He wobbled some while trying to get in, but he did it on his own and they silently drove off.


	95. Chapter 95: Brotherly Love

Wilson nervously licked his lip as he watched House in his peripheral vision. The whole afternoon had been tense starting from when he'd come back with Cuddy. House hadn't even allowed her in the apartment instead he'd turned around as soon as he was in the doorway said her obligations to him were complete and to have a good one, then shut the door in her face. Of course being who Wilson was he'd tried to get House to talk to him about what had happened but House ignored him while packing his stuff instead. There was one particular point where Wilson had been ranting when House had suddenly yelled for him to shut up. Wilson had stopped in mid-sentence as House glared at him and said that the bed was being delivered at 7:00pm and that Wilson either need to start helping him or leave leave him alone, and that was the last thing he'd said. The little communication that had transpired since was short nods or shakes of his head. It had disturbed Wilson deeply, it's not like House talked all the time but he usually wasn't this quiet. The only time he had been he'd been taking some strong physicolgical medication that had been causing him to blank out for long periods of time, but House didn't have the distant stare like he had then, instead the man looked to be in constant thought. They had first taken the instruments and boxes of presents to Houses apartment and in the second load they'd gotten the remaining stuff. Wilson had unpacked Houses clothes and essentials then looked through the kitchen to find it mostly empty and what was there was out of date. He sighed and walked in the living room to sit on the armrest of the couch as he looked at House who was sitting on the piano bench. "I know you've been having a good brooding session most of the day and as much as I hate to ruin that I need you to tell me what you want me to get you at the grocery store."

House looked at the clock to see it was 6:52 pm and suddenly jumped up as he heard a knock on his door. His eyes darted to the door as he tried to keep his breathing calm and grabbed his crutches with shaky hands. He stood up, never taking his eyes off the door and started toward it but forgot about the step down and started to fall when he felt a hand grasp his shoulder, to which he pulled away sharply while turning with a cold fire in his eyes to see Wilson with his hands up in a surrendering position. "Don't touch me, how hard is that for you to learn," he said between gritted teeth as his heart pounding in his chest.

Wilson frowned, "You were going to fall," he pointed out.

"I can take a fall I've had plenty of practice, the question is can you take a punch because if you keep touching me it's going to be you who's on the ground," House said with glare then jerked as another rap of knuckles hit his door.

"I can get the door," Wilson said taking a step in it's direction.

House rolled his eyes half at Wilson and half at himself for being spooked about opening the damn door, "I've got it, this is my house I can open the door." He said then straightened up and walked over to it as his hand reached for the knob he hesitated for just a second or two before opening it. He opened the door to see men in green work shirts with blue jeans.

The man in the front gave him a polite smile, "We are here to deliver and set up a bed for a.." he paused as he looked down at his paper, "Dr. Gregory House, is that you?" the man asked looking back up.

House let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, "Yep," he said holding the door open wider, "the bedroom is straight down the hall," he said with a gesture as he moved out of the mans way.

"Alright, it'll just take us ten minutes or so and then we'll be out of your hair," he said and the two of them went back outside to get the hardware. When the men came back in they saw House standing leaned against the back of the couching watching them. "So were do you want it?"

House arched an eyebrow, "Well that's a hard question," he said sarcastically. "There isn't room in the bathroom or kitchen but I guess we could go with the living room but... it seems like there is a room just for such a thing... what is the name of that?" he asked mockingly while Wilson smiled slightly.

The other man gave him a irritated smile, "Where in the bedroom would you like it, Sir?" he asked.

House smiled brightly, "Bedroom, that's it. How about between the night stands, if that sounds good to you," he said giving the men a look of fake innocence.

"Perfect," the man said narrowing his eyes slightly on House before both men disappeared down the hall.

Wilson felt proud of House. He'd known the idea of letting strange men in his apartment hadn't been easy on him and that there was probably no way in hell he would have gone into the bedroom with the moving men but he'd handled it well. Yes he'd made some sarcastic remarks but that was a lot better than him having some sort of violent episode. He smiled and turned to look at House and his mouth fell open at the sight of House taking out a gun from the piano bench, looking it over, turning off the safety and sitting down to put the gun behind him on the bench out of sight. Wilson swallowed as the men walked out of the room and back out of the apartment again to bring in more stuff, then he moved over to stand in front of House. "What the hell are you doing with that?" he asked sternly with concern.

"Nothing as long as they don't do anything but what they're suppose to do," House said with a serious cold expression.

Wilson's frown deepened, "They're just here to deliver the bed and set it up. There's no need for... that," he hissed the last word in a whisper.

House watched as the men walked back through with the headboard and footboard that were wrapped up in plastic then glanced back at Wilson, "Like I said, it's just in case," he answered.

Wilson scoffed smiling at how ridiculous that sounded, "House, you forget I'm right here. They aren't going to try anything with me here."

House had to work to keep the smile of his face. Wilson was a good friend in many ways, the guy you could rely on when you were sick to bring you soup, great guy to have a beer with and watch a game, but he wasn't the guy you wanted to have your back in a fight. "How old do you think those guys are?"

Wilson blinked some as he thought about it, "I don't know, twenty-somthing, not over thirty," he answered with a raised eyebrow and frown as he was starting to follow Houses logic.

House nodded, "And look at what they do all day, lift heavy furniture. When's the last time you can say you spent a whole day doing heavy manual labor?" he asked with some curiosity.

Wilson bristled a little at the implication, "I can handle myself House," he said tartly.

"Really, so how many physical altercations have you been in lately?" House asked with a wolfish smile.

Wilson deflated some, "How many fights someone's been in doesn't mean everything."

House found it amusing that Wilson was having a hard time admitting that he wasn't up for the challenge if these younger guys did turn violent. It surprised him too, Wilson wasn't the typical manly man. He wasn't the guy to care about who could bench press the most, who was better with power tools, or even who was the best at sports. "Dr. James Wilson, have you ever actually been in fight?" he asked with a smile.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Once in sixth grade," he answered a little weakly, "but I won it and the boy was a year older than me. I'll have you know I broke his nose." He said standing up a little taller.

House kept his laughter in it was too adorable. "That's nice," he said having to bite his lips some not to laugh, "but I couldn't allow you to break one of their noses on my behalf, it would be rude."

Wilson narrowed his eyes, "You have absolutely no confidence in me in a fight."

"None," House said with a smile that suddenly left as he tensed up to see the men go back outside.

Wilson winced slightly it was hard seeing the after effects of what those men had done to his friend so he decided he could at least give House a distraction. "So, what kind of deli meats do you want me to pick up for you?" he asked.

By the time that they had finished compiling a grocery list the men announced they were done and left. House made sure to lock the door behind them and slowly made his way to his bedroom. He looked at the new bed and swallowed as he could hear Wilson walking toward the room and his pulse increased.

Wilson stopped in the doorway so not to intrude on House's personal space as he watched the man. "The bed looks nice, don't want to know how much that set Cuddy back," he said with some humor in his voice.

House glanced back at Wilson surprised he hadn't come in the room. "It can sit up like the ones in the hospital, vibrate, and heat up although I wonder how that works with the cooling gel in the pillow top." He mused looking back at the bed, "What happened to my old bed?" he asked softer.

"I don't know really, had the cleanup crew I hired get rid of it," Wilson answered. "House, I know how you like to hang on to things as mementos but that night has left you with more than enough life long marks, you didn't need to see the wreckage every time you walked in here. I also know you can't forget what happened to you, just like I'll never forget it either, but you should try to move forward." He said softly as he wanted to walk over to House and put a hand on his shoulder, but stayed where he was.

"Right now you remember, but in a couple of years you'll forget about it," House said putting a hand on the bed.

"That's not true," Wilson said reassuringly.

House removed his hand from the bed and turned around with the crutches, "Yes it is, you know how I know?" he asked to see Wilson shake his head. "Because it's the same damn thing you did after my fucking surgery. At first you were my biggest strength, you and me against Stacy, Cuddy, hell against the world and then time ticked by and you started asking stupid questions like when was I going to start dating again, or why I was taking more Vicoden. It was like it had never even happened, like my life hadn't been turned upside down by the woman I loved and left me in pain and disabled for the rest of my life!" House yelled heatedly then took some deep breaths and shook his head some, "But I guess that's to be expected... it's not like it happened to you," he said as his eyes dropped from Wilson's.

Wilson felt his heart break, "Greg, that won't happen this time, I swear. I'm sorry I ever made you feel like that before, but it wasn't because I forgot what happened to you, if anything the opposite is true. Everyday I saw you limp in with the cane or pain on your face I was reminded of what she'd done to you and it hurt so I took that out on you and I'm sorry for that. It won't happen again."

House looked up at Wilson with confusion, "Wait, you were mad at her so you took it out on me?"

Wilson shrugged looking away from House's eyes, "I was frustrated always seeing the pain she'd put you, how she'd changed your life. I just wanted things to go back to normal, the way there were before. I wanted to play tennis and golf with my best friend again, I wanted go jogging with you again and be pissed that I had to take more breaks than you did. I wanted to see you dance better than me and hear the stupid wise cracks you'd make about how I have no tempo and how out of shape I was in," he said with pained features. "I know it wasn't your fault and that you were doing the best you could but... I missed those things so much that I took it out on you."

House watched him in stunned silence for a few moments as emotions ran through him then he smiled some, "Well, I'm still pretty sure I could out dance you. It doesn't take much since you look like your having a seizure when you try."

Wilson laughed as he looked up at House with damp warm eyes, "I bet you could," he said with a sad smile.

"Alright, that's enough caring emotional crap for the year. Now make my bed up while I take a dump and try to pretend like I didn't just see tears in your eyes," House said though the words didn't have the bite they did when he meant them as he walked in the bathroom and closed the door.

When Wilson was finished with the bed he went in the living room to see House sitting on the couch, but he decided to sit in the recliner to give House more space, "So what do you want me to pick up for dinner while I'm out?"

"Whatever, doesn't really matter, I'm not hungry," House answered as he noticed that Wilson was sitting farther from him.

"Listen, last night I left you alone when you said you weren't hungry but not today. You've hardly eaten all day," Wilson pleaded.

House knew he had a point, "Fine pick up some Chinese or Pizza and I'll eat some," he answered as he watched Wilson give him a nod and left. He stared at the door and frowned, something was off about Wilson. The distance he'd been keeping, the lack of nagging, and the way he'd been avoiding looking him in the eyes. House swallowed as he remembered the night before being woken by Wilson and the kiss that made his stomach feel cold, what if it wasn't just a dream? House squirmed in his seat at that thought, if it wasn't a dream then what would Wilson do? Would he keep his distance? Would he not push the subject and refuse to bring it up? Would he not be able to look him in the eyes? House felt sick at the thought as he knew Wilson would do all of those things. House tried to rationalize that maybe Wilson was just trying to give him space like he'd been asking for but it still didn't explain why Wilson couldn't seem to hold his gaze.

Wilson was back within an hour and unpacked the groceries, put the food on the coffee table, and sat back down in the recliner. "Are Cuddy and you okay?" he asked staring at his food.

House watched him with tense features and sighed, "Why do you care, you never were a fan of us."

Wilson glanced up with guilt in his eyes and then away again, "I just didn't want you to get hurt," he said.

House nodded though he didn't believe that was the extent of it, "We'll be fine. She's dating someone else now and I'm sure things will go back to normal with a little time," he answered with confidence.

"So, she told you about that? Are you okay?" Wilson asked looking up at him but keeping his eyes on House's shirt.

House gritted his teeth some, why wasn't Wilson looking him in the eyes. "I expected her to move on, maybe not so fast but... yeah, I'll get over it," he said and swallowed. "If you had half a brain you'd do the same thing."

Wilson shook his head, "You're my best friend that doesn't change because you got dealt a bad hand. I'm here to stay." He said eating a couple bites of food, "I'm glad you're talking again. The silent treatment was worrying me, the only time you've been that quite was when you were having the black-outs.

"I was just thinking about things, I've had a lot on my mind," House said eating some of the dumplings.

"Like what?" Wilson asked absently as he opened the container of soup.

House shrugged looking down at the food, "Like how to tell my team that I'm HIV positive," he said somberly.

Wilson looked up at House and watched as the man was staring at the food in the container, "You don't have to tell them if you don't want too, it's none of their business."

House shook his head as he continued to look at the food, "No, I can't. They work with me everyday, if something happens they need to know."

"Nothings going to happen," Wilson said rolling his eyes.

House scoffed as he picked out a piece of orange chicken with his chopsticks, "Right, and when someone else decides to shoot me in my office what happens then?"

"Shit, House, are you still hung up on that stupid dream last ni..." Wilson's eyes widened as House's eyes met his and he realized his mistake. He didn't know what to do as his felt the blood run from his face.

House felt cold as looked at Wilson with intense eyes, "You... you made me think I was losing my mind," he said with both anger and fear.

Wilson licked his lips, "I did it to protect you. I... didn't want anything to pull us apart. You need me," he said hesitantly.

House's face turned to disgust, "Not like that I don't," he said harshly.

Wilson flushed some, "I know, I don't know why I did it. I don't think of you like that at all... it was a mistake."

"It was suicidal. What if I'd had a cut on my lip and you'd had a sore in your mouth?" House asked watching Wilson with confusion and pain. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking... I just... I don't know," Wilson said fumbling for an explanation that hadn't even began to explore.

House couldn't look at him anymore, "I think you should leave now," he said looking at the coffee table while keeping Wilson in his parpheal vision.

Wilson chewed his bottom lip some, "House, it won't happen again, it was just a..." he couldn't say the word.

"Get out," House said firmly looking at him with accusing eyes.

"Okay," Wilson said standing up and gathering his things, "but I'm going to be back tomorrow to check in on you. I get you're pissed, you have every right to be, but it was an accident. Don't let one stupid mistake hurt us both." He said in a soft pleading voice, "You're my best friend, I need you as much as you need me."

"You kissed me!" House yelled at him.

"And you're the reason Amber is dead," Wilson shot back knowing just where to hit as he saw House's eyes move from anger to guilt and sadness. "If I could forgive you for that, I'd think you could forgive me for a kiss." He said and left.

House threw the container back on the coffee table as he thought about that. How could he rationalize pushing Wilson out of his life when Wilson had forgiven him for causing him so much pain?


	96. Chapter 96: A Touching Friendship

It was only eleven when House turned the TV off and started towards the bed. The sound of his crutches against the floor was the only sound in his apartment which disturbed him because it reminded him how alone he was. He stopped at the entrance to his room turning the light on and just stared at the bed. He could still see his old bed in it's place covered with blood and urine, even though he knew it was gone. The silence was disturbed by his left crutch hitting the floor and he jerked hard at the noise then cursed under his breath as he picked it up.

He walked in the bathroom opened his medicine cabinet and took his medications then slowly limped back in the bedroom turning off the light. "This is stupid," he told himself trying to deflect the fear he felt even to himself as he put the crutches against the end table and sat down on the bed. He looked at the night stand to see a bottle of water on it. "Damn you Wilson for being so helpful and taking away another excuse for leaving this fucking room," he said as he took a deep breath and laid down. He turned the bed on massage for a thirty minute setting, turned off his lamp and tried to relax. He was exhausted and the vibration of the bed helped quiet his mind so he could go to sleep.

House woke up gasping for air as sweat ran down his face as his hand quickly turned on the lamp. He felt his eyes burn as he was in the same spot as in his dream except there were no men standing around the bed this time… at least as far as he could see with the lamp. He stared into the dark corners with large unblinking eyes while his hand moved to grab the bottle of water Wilson had left as he drank he tried to calm down but the images were imprinted in his mind. "This is pathetic," he growled to himself as he used the crutches to go turn on the light in the room, it was empty which he already knew because he couldn't hear anyone but somehow seeing made his body relax some. He was glad no one was here to see him walk back to the bed leaving the light on. He was a grown man, but he didn't feel like one right now. He finished the water off and went back to sleep.

"Fuck off me!" House woke up yelling at no one as he found himself on the floor in his bedroom. He was shaking hard as his throat convulsed as he tried to breath. He broke down in tears, it had seemed so real and the scariest part was there was no guaranty it wouldn't happen. Wilson coming in his place late at night while he slept, tying him up, touching him, using him like... House vomited on the floor and leaned against the wall taking deep breath and closing his eyes. He could still see his friends warm puppy dog eyes turned into dark demanding pits of hell that only gleamed at his misery and he opened his eyes staring at the ceiling. His mind raced about how Wilson could come and go as he pleased with the key he had and how he wasn't going to be able to go to sleep until he'd done something about it.

An hour later he looked over the back of the couch at the door, there was a chair propped against it to keep it from opening with some bells around the knob from some stupid Christmas decorations Wilson had given him a couple of years ago. He'd kept the light on as he pulled a cover over his body that was curled on the couch with his back to the door and his eyes on the gun he'd had out earlier. He hated this, the PTSD, what Wilson had done, how he knew he'd never actually be able to shoot Wilson even if he did something. He looked at the clock, he'd only gotten two hours of sleep and sighed, turning on the TV.

He woke up to hear the TV going.

"Are you petrified by fear? Do loud noises cause you to respond inappropriately? Are you afraid that you'll embarrass yourself or friends if a trigger sets you off? Do you have nightmares or night sweat? Do you have a hard time trusting the people who care about you and push them away? Did something bad happen to you and did it change you? Do you feel like you're losing it and that no one can help? Well you're wrong, there is help and you aren't crazy. PTSD is a REAL disease and there is REAL help for it. Give us a call today and take back you're life, because you deserve more than just to survive, you deserve a life worth living! We've helped veterans, rape victims, 9/11 survivors, home evasion survivors, spousal abuse survivors and we can help you too. Make the call that changes your life for the better today!"

House rolled his eyes at the commercial as he wiped his sweat away. He looked at the clock to see it was 6:10 am, which meant he'd slept almost an hour and that Cuddy would be up. He picked up his phone and called her.

Cuddy groaned as the phone rang, she'd planned on sleeping in. Her hand reached for it and she answered. "Dr. Cuddy," she said sounding fully awake even though her eyes were closed and she was still curled up in the bed with covers over her. She waited for a response but all she heard was silence. "Hello?" She said with irritation.

"It's House, would you do me a favor?" he asked hesitantly in a soft deep voice.

Cuddy's eyes opened and she set up in the bed. "Um, depends on the favor," she answered with a frown. "I didn't really expect to hear anything out of you for a while."

House chewed on his lips and avoided the awkward conversation, "I need a new lock and dead bolt set for my front door."

Cuddy took a deep breath, of course he was avoiding talking about anything important, "No you don't, Wilson already replaced them," she answered and swallowed. "Was there any other reason you called?"

"I'm telling you I need a new lock set for my door, will you help or not?" House asked as he hoped she would.

Cuddy scoffed, "Why don't you just tell me what this is really about? Your excuse isn't even a good one this time, so how about you quit wasting our time and just say whatever it is you need to say." She said feeling frustrated that he hadn't developed past the age of a 10 year old emotionally.

"Please... don't make me ask someone from my team, I really don't want them involved anymore than they are," House begged softly in the phone as he closed his eyes.

Cuddy felt a lump in her throat, "Are you okay?" she asked feeling bad for him.

House shook his head as his throat closed up and some tears fell. It took him a minute to get some composer and he sniffled, "Um... will you do it?"

Her eyes teared up, "Yeah, I'll do it but you've got to talk to me when I get there, okay?"

"Deal," he said and hung up the phone.

Cuddy walked into Houses building to find him sitting in the wheelchair with the hardware already off the door. "Here," she said holding the bag out for him to take, "now, what's this about?" she asked noticing he looked exhausted.

"I just needed a new lock set," House said opening the new one and already starting to install it.

"What was wrong with the one Wilson got?" She asked taking in that his clothes had sweat all over them.

He kept working on the door for a couple of minutes before responding, "Nothing," he answered.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes on the infuriating man, "Then why did you need a new one?!"

House kept working trying to ignore her look, "He has a key to it," he answered a couple of minutes later as he finished up the job.

She sighed, "That's a good thing. You can't cut everyone out of your life just because you have HIV," she said with confidence.

"What's HIV?" asked a small girl.

Cuddy frowned looking behind her as the girls mother grabbed her hand pulling her from their direction.

"It's a very bad thing and you should stay away from anyone that has it because it could make you very sick," the mother said pulling her little girl out the door.

"Damn, I don't think she's going to ask me to babysit anymore," House said deflecting as he looked up at Cuddy.

Cuddy flushed, "Sorry, I didn't mean for her to hear that," she said embarrassed.

House held the door open expectantly and she walked in. He closed it and locked it and even though it didn't make everything better it did make him feel a little safer. "How much do I owe you?"

"One twenty," she answered watching as he got her out some bills, "House, he needs to have a key."

"I can't sleep knowing he has a key," he answered handing her the money.

Cuddy frowned at that, "Why?" she asked but he avoided her eyes. "He's always had a key and you never have minded before," she reminded him but still no response. "It's not like he's ever done anything bad to you," she said to see him close his eyes and grimace and suddenly she shook her head not believeing, "No, he'd never hurt you, you misconstrued something," she said with some anger.

House didn't want to fight or for her to find out what had really happened. "Yeah, I'm sure that's it," he said casually.

She looked at him with confusion, "Did you just... agree with me?" she asked skeptically.

"You should probably leave on that note. Who knows if it will ever happen again," he said unlocking the door and holding it open for her.

Cuddy frowned as she watched him. He wouldn't have called her to bring him a lock if he wasn't sure there was something to be afraid of because in doing so he'd admitted to feeling weak and vulnerable. She looked into the hall and back at him. He wanted her to leave so he didn't have to talk about it and even though she'd planned on making it a quick trip when he'd called, now that she was here, she wanted to know what Wilson had done to scare him into getting a new lock. She pushed the door closed and he immediately locked it back up. "What did he do to you?" she asked gently to see him cringe some.

"It's not important," House said not meeting her eyes.

She looked around the apartment to see the blankets and pillow on the couch and sighed, "How much sleep did you get last night?"

"Three hours, but it wasn't the beds fault," he answered meeting her eyes. "You should go, you've already inconvenienced yourself enough for me."

Cuddy reached for him but he pulled away quickly. "You're worth my time, House. Now you promised you'd talk to me if I brought you the new lock. So please, what did Wilson do?"

"He kissed me," House whispered.

Cuddy scoffed, "Wilson wouldn't kiss you! Can you hear yourself?!"

He stared at her feeling once again betrayed. "Get the fuck out," he said in a raise voice. "All my life it's been JUST like this! You wonder why I didn't tell you what Tritter did to me in the clinic, it's because this is EXACTLY how you'd react." His eyes narrowed on hers as he mocked her voice, "Oh, I'm sure it was an accident that he tripped you. He wouldn't have pinned you against a cabinet, you're lying. There's no way Tritter beat you in jail, you gave yourself those bruise and cracked rib. Maybe you deserved to get pissed on and stripped down to your underwear."

"I didn't call you a liar, it's just hard to believe that Wilson would kiss you and considering how stressed you've been it's plausible that you mistook something or even imagined it," she said with a frown.

"I didn't want to believe it either," House said with a frown, "but it happened. He'd pretended it didn't but I caught him in his lie last night and admitted that it did."

Cuddy still shook her head in disbelief, "What happened you hugged and your lips barely brushed on accident?" she asked condescendingly.

"No, I woke from a nightmare and he pushed himself on me. He had me PINNED against the bed and he was... he was hard," he said with fear. "I had to push him off of me and he... he still tried but I told him if he didn't leave I was gonna hurt him... and he left," he said looking at her.

Cuddy didn't want to believe it but House looked seriously freaked. "What did he say about it after he confessed?" she asked.

"He said he didn't know why he did it, that it was an accident," House said looking at the locked door.

"It just, it doesn't make since, that was the night you found out you were HIV positive. Why would he choose that night of all nights to …." her voice faded as she thought about it, "... how far do you think he was going to take it?"

House shuttered, "I don't want to know but I'm not trusting him with a key for a while especially after I the extent he went to cover up what he'd done."

"Extent?" Cuddy asked sitting down on the opposite end of the couch.

He looked down rubbing rubbing his hands along his arms. "He acted like it was all in my head, made me question if I was having delusions again, if I was losing my mind again," he said crossing his arms around his stomach.

She knew nothing had scared House quite like that had, it had been the closest to suicidal she'd ever seen him so it disturbed her to hear that Wilson would take it that far. She saw House close his eyes and noticed his body language, his arms wrapped around himself as if he was literally trying to hold himself together, his eyes closed unable to look at his own vulnerability, and the tension in his body letting her know how hard all of this was on him. She wondered if he'd ever be the man she'd known for so long again, confident and strong. "What are going to do?" she asked afraid of the answer.

House shook his head some opening his eyes to look at the dish cloth on the coffee table where he knew his gun was hidden, "Take precautions when he's around and never put myself in that situation again."

Cuddy was surprised he was even considering being around Wilson again and was concerned by the way he was staring at the dish cloth on the table. Why would he still have anything to do with Wilson if he'd scared him that bad? He was hiding something. "You mean at the hospital... or do you plan on still being friends with him?"

He glanced at her, "He's my only friend and I've hurt him too at times," he said looking away, "I owe him."

"What exactly do think you owe him?" She asked with furrowed eyebrows at the statement.

House shrugged some digging his nails into the side of his arms, "Whatever I can take. Anything and everything except..." he swallowed hard, "that," he finished with disgust.

Cuddy's eyes scanned him as she shook her head, "House... the point of friends is to be able to be close to someone with out fear of them hurting you. He can't be your friend if you don't trust him not to hurt you." She said wondering how his brain looked over the logic of that.

He grimaced that looking down at his arms, "I owe him. It's my fault Amber died and he forgave me so I have to let this slide. I hurt him and he gave me a second chance, now I have to give him one."

She narrowed her eyes on him and had a sinking feeling, "What happened to Amber was an accident, do you think what Wilson did was an accident?"

"He said it was," House mumbled rubbing his face with his hands.

Cuddy frowned, "Tell me what happened, exactly."

He looked over at her, "I had a dream that I got shot in my office again and Wilson got my blood all over himself trying to save my life. I guess I fell off the bed because when he woke me up I was on the ground and he was shaking me awake. I told him to get off of me and started yelling at him about how big of an idiot he was in the dream. He told me that he'd try to save me no matter what and that the HIV wouldn't change that. I said it changed everything and he started in about his feelings to which I said fuck your feelings but before I could get it out... he," he stopped with a disgusted look on his face and moved in his seat. "It wasn't a peck," he said thinking about it as his stomach twisted looking in her eyes and then away. "This isn't helping," he said feeling only more insecure by letting her know how weak he was.

She swallowed, "Where were you when he did it?" she asked trying to keep him going.

"Sitting on the side of the bed," House looking down with a flexed jaw, "he pushed himself on me. It was rough and hard," he said as his eyes darkened some, "all of it. The kiss, his hands... his body, just like..." he shook his head not finishing the sentence.

Cuddy looked down at the couch cushions, "Just like what, House?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he looking back at the dish towel.

She looked up at him and followed his gaze. What was up with the dish towel? She reached over picking it up and dropped it as she saw the gun under it and looked at him with shocked features, "What are doing with a gun?" she asked with fear in her voice.

"I've lost a lot of muscle. I pushed him as hard as I could and he just stumbled some..." House said staring at the gun. "If he'd kept on... I'm not sure if I could... hurt him. He's my only friend," he said his voice shaking some.

Cuddy didn't know what to say as she looked at him staring at the gun with sad confused eyes and a grimace. He was scared on a lot of levels and it scared the crap out of her to see him like that. She knew he had been in the Marines but everything she knew about him said he'd never be able to pull the trigger on Wilson, no matter what he did. "You can't shoot him," she said watching him closely.

"Don't you think I know that!" he yelled looking at her. "I couldn't kill him anymore than I could you or Stacy or my mom and dad! Even after all John did to me... I couldn't pull the trigger," he said between gritted teeth. "I had it pointed right on him and I..." he sighed looking down.

She frowned remembering the time when she came in to find House yelling at Wilson during a hallucination about his father, saying he deserved to die. "Then what's the point of the gun?" she asked.

"To scare him," House said leaning back in the couch trying to relax some.

Cuddy didn't point out to him that if she knew he wouldn't shoot Wilson then Wilson probably knew it too. "Can I use your restroom?" she asked to see him nod. After using the bathroom she opened the door to his bedroom to find the sheets thrown off the bed and some vomit in the floor. She sighed at the sight and cleaned it up. She was wiping the floor one last time when she heard his voice.

"You didn't have to do that," he said standing weakly with the crutches from the doorway looking ashamed.

She got up looking at him, "You're my friend and you're having a hard time. I want to help you and this was something I could do."

House barely met her eyes, "Thanks," he said softly and looked down at the ground, "you should go, you have more important things to do besides babysit me. You should go home to your daughter."

Cuddy tossed the rag into the dirty clothes hamper and walked up to him, "I need to know how serious this is. Did he leave after you pushed him?"

He swallowed looking up at her, "He tried to talk me into letting it continue but I told him to get out or I'd hurt him."

"So did he leave you alone after that?" she asked to see him look back down at the ground with a disturbed look.

"He slammed the door on his way out of the room," House said closing his eyes as he could hear the words that followed along with sounds and shivered slightly.

Cuddy frowned as she could tell there was something else he wasn't saying, "What else happened?"

"Nothing," he with tension as he took slow painful steps into the living room.

She narrowed her eyes on him as she followed, "Then why are you so scared of him? He kissed you, you told him to leave and he did. There wouldn't be any reason to still be scared if something else didn't happen, so what was it?" she asked. He stared at the floor leaning back on the couch for support. "Greg, what happened after he left?" She asked again more firmly.

"He said some things outside my door... and he...," House's face reddened with embarrassment and contorted with disgust, "he masturbated." He said feeling sick to his stomach, " He said he owned me after he..." he couldn't say it, "but the voice didn't even sound like his, it was dark and menacing," he said trying to explain it away.

Cuddy felt like vomiting herself as she played out the scene in her head. "Do you really think it's safe to be around him after that, will you ever be comfortable alone in the same room as him after that?" she implored as a knock came from the door.

"Hey, House, got you some breakfast," Wilson called from the outside.

House swallowed hard as he stared at the door, "He's right, it's my fault Amber's dead. I owe him so much."

She felt anger bubble up in her chest as she realization Wilson had put the guilt trip on House to keep him from pushing him out of his life. "Don't open that door, you don't owe him anything," she said fiercely.

His eyes met hers before he walked toward the door.

Wilson looked down noticing the new doorknob and deadbolt as guilt filled him, "House, I care about you. You know that and I never meant to upset you. I'm still the same guy, please let me in."

House closed his eyes leaning more towards the door. He knew he didn't really have an option, it was Wilson and without him he'd probably have killed himself years ago.

Cuddy walked up to him, "Don't," she whispered as she could feel his fear.

He opened his eyes looking at her, "He's all I have," he said softly.

"That's not true, you have me," she explained still whispering.

House let what little mask he was wearing fall off and saw her blink at him in surprise at the pain she saw in his face. "It hurts just being near you," he said in a hoarse whisper. "I know it's not your fault that I love you or that it didn't work but that doesn't make it stop," he said searching her eyes.

"House, who are you talking too?" Wilson asked as he heard House whispering something he couldn't make out.

Cuddy understood what he meant, "I'm sorry," she said gently.

He nodded and opened the door to see Wilson with a Tupperware container full of his favorite macadamia nut pancakes. He looked from the pancakes back up to Wilson and couldn't help but wonder if they were a bribe or … payment for what he'd done. Wilson gave him a warm smile, "I brought your favorite," he said looking past House to see Cuddy and his eyebrows raised in surprise. "Cuddy, what are you doing here?" Wilson asked.

"Delivering a new doorknob and lock, evidently a sick pervert has the key to the one you installed," she said with venom.

Wilson was horrified as he looked up to House, "How could you tell her about that, it was one mistake?" he asked feeling betrayed as House closed his eyes. "And you know I would never really hurt you," he said stepping through the door making House step back with the crutches.

House sighed opening his eyes on Cuddy. _What the fuck was she thinking by letting Wilson know he'd talked to her about what happened? He hadn't asked her to solve his problem, hell he hadn't even wanted to tell her. He'd done so because she wouldn't leave him alone about it and he thought it might do him some good to see if someone else found it as troubling as he did. If her intentions had been to help by letting Wilson know she knew about it then she'd failed only making the problem worse._ He felt anger rise in him the longer he thought about it. He'd trusted her and she'd screwed him over once again. "Nice," he said bitterly in a cold tone, "it's always good to know who you can trust with something private. Would you go now," he asked holding the door open wide for her.

Cuddy scoffed at him, "You're mad at me for hurting his feelings after what he did to you?!"

"No, I'm mad at myself for trusting you with something private!" House yelled back.

Cuddy couldn't believe him, she'd done him a favor. There's no way that Wilson would ever do that again knowing that House might tell someone and if it ruined their friendship he'd never have to worry about being in that situation again but he was too stupid to see that. "You're an ungrateful idiot and you deserve everything that's ever happened to you if you're too stupid to keep if from happening," she said as she walked by him and left.

House slammed the door shut leaning on it some as he wondered if she was right.

"She's just mad. You didn't deserve any of this, especially how I made you feel," Wilson said watching as House swallowed and looked at him with unsure eyes. "I wish there was some way I could reverse what I did but I can't. I know you have to be uncomfortable around me and I hate that, but the only way you'll see that I mean what I say is to keep seeing you and prove over time that it was a one time mistake."

"All I want to know is why?" House said turning to him, his head hanging down as he watched Wilson.

Wilson's lip twitched, "My emotions were everywhere that night. I missed my date with Megan and you announced you were HIV positive and Cuddy went crazy on me for not telling her you might be positive. I guess I just lost it for a minute," he said with a sigh. "I know you deserve more of an explanation than that, and if I figure this out more I'll let you know but that's my best guess for now."

House nodded his acceptance of that, even though he was still cautious. He watched as Wilson walked over to the couch and stopped in his tracks looking at the gun on the coffee table and back at him. "I decided it was best to keep it around until I get my strength up. I don't have you here to protect me so I have to do what I need to for myself," he said casually as he mentally thought about the other places he had guns hidden just in case Wilson decided he wanted to take what he'd denied him a couple of nights ago.

Wilson's eyes narrowed slightly for a moment or two. He knew that wasn't all it was, part of it was because of what he'd done and while he knew that should make him feel bad, it didn't. It made him feel a little angry but mostly good. House wasn't an easy target, even if he looked like one at the moment. He was stronger than he looked, smarter than most, and he had the training to know how to kill and because of all of that it made Wilson feel good to know that the bigger than life House was afraid of him. No one had ever been afraid of the sweet Oncologist, people always agreed with him and did what he asked but it was because he was so nice they couldn't say no which was okay, but it didn't make him feel like it did to know someone was scared of you. He watched House seeing him shift his weight as the tension mounted and knowing he was what kept his friend up at night made him feel strong and powerful, which was only increased by knowing how desperately House needed him as a friend. "I'm glad. I hardly slept last night knowing you were here all alone unprotected," he said with a warm smile.

House swallowed as he saw Wilson's eyes darken. "I didn't mean to inconvenience you," he said slowly forcing himself to move to the opposite end of the couch, closer to the gun just in case.

Wilson's smile became more genuine as he saw the fear in his friends body language. "Well, you just can't help yourself," he said to see House stop and look at him with surprise at his words. "Oh," he said softly faking concern, "I didn't mean to worry you I just didn't want to lie to you. You are an inconvenience but you're worth it. That's what best friends do for each other, they worry about them and try to help when they can."

"Yeah," House said trying to shake the uneasy feeling he had as he sat down and sighed as his legs got to relax a little.

Wilson sat down too watching as his friend rubbed his legs because of the pain and to release the nervous energy he had pent up. "Here," he said holding out the Tupperware container, "you look hungry."

House looked at it and Wilson's hand holding it. He wanted him to put it down so he didn't have to get so close but he also knew better than to show a potential predator fear. He took it meeting Wilson's dark eyes with his cold mask. "Thanks," he said trying to sound casual as he pulled back to his side of the couch and started eating them.

Wilson leaned back watching House's lips move and his adams apple bob up and down as he swallowed bites of the sweet treat as he felt himself harden. It both scared and aroused him as his body responded to his friends weakness and neediness. There was something so beautiful in Houses silent pain and struggle, in the way he so desperately needed someone to care about him, in the way his hand shook as he pretended to be fine. He unzipped his pants watching as House froze in place. Wilson gave him a smile and put his hand on his underwear clad cock, rubbing it.

House felt his eyes burn as some tears welled up in them, "You... you said.." he tried to talk as his voice shook.

Wilson chuckled, "I'm not going to touch you. What are so afraid of?" He asked moving his underwear to the side as he took his penis out and stroked it seeing House's chin shake. "Oh don't look at it like that. It's not THAT big," he said and smiled wider as House's wide eyes met his. "Am I touching you?"

House swallowed feeling sick to his stomach, "No," he said and closed his eyes, "but I don't want to watch you do that either."

Wilson moved his legs father apart as he tightened his grip, his eyes never leaving House. "Do you think I wanted to give you $5000, or take care of you when Stacy left, or even feed you because you still need your dead father's approval to eat?" he asked licking his lips as he moved his hand faster.

House felt guilt and sadness fill him, "I never asked.."

"And did I ask you to watch?" Wilson said cutting him off and grabbed the container holding the rest of the pancakes. He gritted his teeth as he came hard, shooting his load on the three remaining pancakes and smiled as he panted. He watched as House stared at the pancakes and held them out to him. "There you go," he said warmly still rubbing his softening dick with his left hand.

House swallowed looking away, "I'm not hungry anymore."

Wilson shrugged putting the container on the coffee table and sighed sympathetically, "I'm sorry to hear that. I love watching you eat," he said and put his dick away like nothing had happened.

"Why?" House asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Because you're so skinny," Wilson replied to see House close his eyes and turn his head away. "Oh, you meant why did I masturbated in front of you?" he asked innocently to see House shiver. "Why not?" he asked back. "Or even a better question, why didn't you stop me?" Wilson asked with a sympathetic frown as House met his eyes. "You didn't point that gun at me, or yell at me to leave, hell you didn't even ask me to stop. All you said was that you didn't want to watch and yet you did with out me even asking you too."

House's face paled as his cheeks flushed at the implication, "I didn't want to watch."

"If you didn't want to watch you could have looked away," Wilson argued. "I was stressed out because of what you told Cuddy and masturbated to try and relax. It had nothing to do with you and I kept thinking you'd leave or at least look away but you didn't. How would you feel if you saw me watching you masturbate and then acted like I'd been wronged in some way?"

House narrowed his eyes some, "Well if you didn't want an audience then maybe you should have gone to the restroom."

"I didn't mind if you watched or not, just don't sit there and act like I made you. I'm comfortable enough with you that it doesn't matter, or it shouldn't matter. You masturbate and you know that I masturbate and we've seen each other naked so what does it matter if we do it in front of each other? We piss side by side. We've talked to each other on the toilet. We've bled and cried on each other, so why is this different?" Wilson asked thoughtfully with reasoning.

House frowned, "Because it is," he said firmly.

Wilson sighed, "Not really. Girls have sex toy parties with friends, are you really that naive to think they don't try them out and show each other how they work? Boys masturbate together too, learn from each other... like you're mom said you did," he said to see House flex his jaw. "So tell me, why was it okay then and not now?" his voice conveying genuine concern.

"I was just a kid then, I didn't know better," House said ducking his head some in shame.

Wilson got up and walked past House into the kitchen to throw away the pancakes and washed his hands. "For someone that puts so much value on the truth why is it that you can't be truthful with yourself?" He asked as he came back in the living room and sat down on his end of the couch.

"What's that suppose to mean?" House asked with curiosity.

"It means the reason you feel uncomfortable isn't because of me, is it? It's because someone else did something to you," Wilson said softly.

House felt time stop as he stared at Wilson, "Shut up. I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said as his heart thumped deeply in his chest even though he could hear it in his ears.

"Okay," Wilson said gently, "lets talk about something else." He said looking around and smiled a the box of Houses presents. "How about I unpack your box over there and you tell me where you want to put things. You don't want to have that huge box just sitting in your living room forever," he said reasonable as he walked over to it.

"Okay," House said rubbing his head in confusion at Wilson's actions, "sounds good."

The rest of the day passed smoothly without incident. They joked and laughed while the box got unpacked then decided to have beer and pizza while watching a provocative TV show. "Go, Linda, learn from your step mom how to make a man happy," Wilson said with a chuckle glancing to House who's eyes were intent on show taking shallow breaths then squirmed in his seat some. Wilson licked his lips as he looked back to the screen. "You know this is kind of hot," he said watching as the MILF demonstrated to her step daughter how to pole dance.

House let out a sigh of frustration as he hardened.

"So, how long has it been since you choked the chicken?" Wilson asked watching the TV.

"I don't know, a while," House said with frustration.

Wilson looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, "How about at my house?" He asked to see House shake his head and both of Wilson's eyebrows rose at that. "Seriously? You were there for five months!" He said astonished.

House looked away uncomfortably, "My burns have only been healed up for the past month or so."

"How about last night? You were home alone," Wilson said watching him.

"Yeah, just like I was the night I was attacked," House said bitterly.

Wilson bit his lip, "Look, I'm not trying to push but... you know what can happen if you don't... clean out the drain regularly." He said to see House's face redden some as he crossed his hands over his privates. "All I'm saying is if you think you're uncomfortable masturbating at home, how awkward do you think it's going to be getting a prostate massage in the hospital?"

"No one is giving me a prostate massage!" House huffed.

"Fine," Wilson said holding his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "I'm just saying... if you don't feel safe here alone yet I could stay around until you were done."

House's features became sharp and tense, "And watch... that's what you want to do, right?"

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Yes, I want to watch you beat off with your horrible scars and stuff because that's not gross at all, it's super sexy," he said sarcastically.

House chewed his lip thinking about what Wilson was trying to convince him to do and why. "What do you get out of this if I do it?"

"Nothing," Wilson said casually but there was a darkness in his eyes.

"Right," House said flatly and swallowed, "if I do this it would make what you did seem less wrong as if it was some how mutual," he said watching as Wilson's lip twitched some, "and it would prove just how much I'd do for you."

Wilson became agitated, "I don't know what you're talking about. If I could control you then why would I let you move out before I think is safe? Why would I have put my career in jeopardy twice for you?"

House watched Wilson with worry as the man's hands were in fists and his words sharp. "It's pretty obvious to me, but do you need me to explain it to you? Do you even know why you did it or are doing this?" He asked as Wilson watched him with gritted teeth. "You did that so I'd feel obligated to you even more, so you could use guilt to control me."

"No, I did it because actually stick up for my friends instead of accusing them because my life isn't perfect," Wilson shot back standing up to glare down at House.

House looked up at him keeping his breathing calm, "If that were true you wouldn't have blamed me for it, you would have never turned on me to Tritter. You need to look like you were making a sacrifice for me, so that you could see how much I'd sacrifice for you."

Wilson laughed bitterly, "Now that's funny, you sacrificing something for someone else!"

House bowed his head looking at the ground, "So, how did I do? I personally thought I did well when I risked my life at your request." He said and waited for Wilson to say something but there was nothing but silence. He looked up slowly to see Wilson watching him with scared confusion. "It's okay," House said softly realizing Wilson did understand his own impulses or actions yet. "When we met you felt out of control and rejected by the beginning of your divorce, so you need someone desperate, with a obscured idea of boundaries that not only had no self worth but that also hated themselves and I was all of that." He said with a sad smile, "I needed someone who could find me useful as more than a doctor, that could handle being my world and control me without physically abusing me."

Wilson stood there silently thinking about all House had said for a couple of minutes and it unsettled him at how much truth he saw in it. "No," he said partly in denial and part because Houses version wasn't all there was, "There is more to us than that."

"We're close friends. We've seen each other at our worst and best; been in a consistent relationship for over twenty years. We enjoy each others company and love each other like brothers, of course there's more." House said softly with emotion and licked his lips, "I'm fine with the way things are. I'll let you have control for being my friend but there are some boundaries and sexual activities are one of them."

"I don't want to have sex with you," Wilson said with more certainty than he'd had since the incident.

House nodded looking down, "And you don't need to in order to keep me satisfied or under your control."

Wilson frowned as he looked down at his friend, his head bent down in a surrendering motion and muscles relaxed as if to say he wouldn't resist anything he might decided to do to him. He wondered how much control he really had over the man and decided to test it. He lowered his hand to House's head and felt him tension as he ran his fingers through Houses thinning hair and couldn't help but smile some. House didn't pull away in any fashion instead he looked up at him with questioning eyes.

"Please," House begged hoping the light touch was all Wilson would demand out of him.

"I missed touching you," Wilson said in awe as it suddenly made since why he'd done what he had on the night. House rarely allowed, let alone encouraged, anyone to touch him but he'd never pushed resisted him until the attack, there were even times House would sit so close their arms would touch. He'd been the only person who'd House had trusted enough to let that close. "I needed to touch you. It hurt when you kept pushing me away made me question if you still trusted me."

House swallowed, "It wasn't because I didn't trust you, it was for your own safety. You're all I have, I can't lose you," he said searching Wilson's soft brown eyes, his normal eyes.

"Knowing something and feeling something are two different things. I knew your reason but it felt..." Wilson tried to think of a word to describe it.

"Like I was rejecting you," House said sympathetically.

Wilson sighed softly, "Yeah," he said looking down at his friends big deep blue eyes. "I'm sorry I scared you but, don't take this the wrong way, there is something beautiful about you. Something sad and sweet and purely you that's beautiful." He said letting his hand drop from House's head as he saw the eyes sheen more with unshed tears.

House had to look away at Wilson's kind words, only Wilson could see beauty in a monster like him. "You could stay the night... if you wanted," he said looking at the muted TV.

Wilson smiled, it was as close as House could come to asking him to stay. "That's probably a good idea since it's late." He said sitting down on his side of the couch.

House swallowed as his body relaxed at the thought of not being alone in his apartment, "Thanks," he whispered, briefly grasping Wilson's covered arm.

Wilson looked at the gesture and felt joy in it, "Well you know how much I love the shine of your neediness."

House laughed and unmuted the TV.


	97. Chapter 97: Music to My Ears

Wilson was staring at the ceiling as he laid on the couch in the dark. His mind racing over House's assessment of their relationship. He'd never seen himself as the one in power, never thought of his actions as domineering in any way but they had been. Even worse he could see how he'd tried to keep House away from anyone else, like telling him to stay away from Stacy when she'd came back to the hospital and then when House kissed her to confront her about. It had been bad advice, he'd known from the start how it would go, but at the time he'd rationalized it in his head as the right thing to do and in a way it was, it kept House alone. Wilson frowned, how had he not noticed what he was doing? He'd known he had a problem with taking out his frustrations on House, yelling at him mostly and sometimes just making him feel like shit so he wasn't the only one, but how did he miss that he was dominating and controlling him? Now that House had said it, everything fit into place, like how he knew House would risk his life to save Amber. Almost anyone in the world would have had doubts asking their closest kin or friend to risk their life for another, but he'd known as soon as he decided to ask. No question in his mind that House would do it. There had only been one time he could ever remember House really fighting him on something and that was when he'd kidnapped House to force him to go to his father's funeral.

Of all the things he'd done to House, that was the one he felt the worst about. He hadn't known at the time what John had done to House but he knew something had to have happened. He'd told himself that there was no way House's father had given him those scars, no way and man could do that to a child all because he couldn't accept it. In his desperate refusal to see the obvious he'd forced his best friend to honor his abuser. Wilson took a deep breath at that thought and then smiled. Any normal person would have hated him for it but House hadn't; he'd actually tried to talk him into being friends again and succeeded. There was the beauty he'd talked about.

He was happy that the sex thing had been figured out. It had been scary to suddenly start thinking about sexual things when he was around House. He'd felt like he'd lost himself or maybe never even knew himself but now that House had explained it, all of it had vanished. He'd felt rejected physically and therefore he was pushing himself harder on House to prove his own control over him to dominate him in the most primal way there was. Wilson knew that House and him probably wouldn't have as much physical contact as they did before the HIV positive test but knowing that they would still be able to have some physical contact had been a huge relief to him. To bad the pancakes had been ruined before House had explained it to him. He'd have to make him some more of those in the morning.

He stopped his thought as he heard House talking in his sleep. It was probably more like yelling since he could hear it in the living room but he couldn't quite make out what he was saying. He grimaced in sympathy for his friend. House needed his rest and this PTSD was making it impossible on the man.

"WILSON!" House yelled clearly his voice making Wilson jump.

Wilson quick threw the blanket off and ran to the bedroom. He was met with House covered in sweat panting as he looked at him with wide eyes. "House, what can I do?" he asked standing in the doorway in case he needed him to grab some water.

Relief flooded over House at the sight of Wilson. In his dream the attackers had tied him down and forced him to watch as they'd tortured Wilson. "You're safe," he said in a huff of breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Wilson said with concern as he walked in closer to the bed. "Are you okay?" he asked to see House dismissively nod. "Of course when most people are fine they don't yell out names of friends," he said with a gentle frown. "Another nightmare?"

House looked up at him with pleading eyes. He didn't want to talk about this and analysis it, he just wanted to forget it.

"Right," Wilson said knowing the look of 'please don't make me talk'. He wanted House to feel comfortable in his own home again. "You could get a security system installed," he suggested.

"No, the problems aren't the doors, it's me," House said leaning back against the headboard.

Wilson wanted to say that's why he needed to talk about it, but didn't. "Maybe you need a massage, something to help loosen you up and relax you," he said to see House give him a suspicious look. "Not me," he quickly blurted, "a girl, like the one that came to the hospital," he explained.

House knew it made since but shook his head, "No," he said adamantly.

Wilson rolled his eyes, "Of course not, then you might have to let someone touch you," he said with slight irritation.

"And see me," House mumbled at the ground and looked up to see Wilson's eyes sadden. "Don't, I feel pathetic enough without you giving me those puppy dog eyes."

"You're not pathetic," Wilson said, "you're just going through some stuff. Listen, I know what I said earlier came out a bit creepy, especially with what I did earlier, but maybe it would help if you... released some."

House scoffed, "You mean if I masturbated."

"I could sit outside on the steps that way you know no one will break in and you could watch some porn and release some stress," Wilson offered.

House thought about that. It had been almost a week since his last 'release' and it had been from a dream about Cuddy that had crushed him. He couldn't handle anymore of those kind of dreams and he'd always used masturbation in the past as a way of getting to sleep when nothing else worked. "I..." he shook his head, he couldn't do this. He couldn't masturbate knowing he'd kicked Wilson outside to guard the door.

Wilson almost smiled but didn't, as brass as House acted about sex he was embarrassed about it when it became personal. "You mind if I go outside and get some fresh air?" he asked.

"No, if you don't want to stay you can go home," House said keeping the disappointment from his voice.

"I don't want to go home, just go outside to clear my head some and call Megan," Wilson explained. "I'll probably be out for an hour or longer but if you need anything you can give me a call."

House looked confused for a fraction of a second before he understood. Wilson was giving him the space and privacy he needed without labeling it as fondling time. "You really going to call Megan?" he asked.

"Yep, she should be getting in from her girls night out in about ten minutes," Wilson answered.

"Alright," House said nervously.

"Thanks, anything you need first?" Wilson said on his way out of the bedroom.

House shook his head and remembered Wilson couldn't see him faced away, "Nope," he said and with that Wilson was gone. He heard him go down the hall and out the door. He stood up with his crutches and walked into the empty living room and locked the door. The click of the lock gave him some feeling of security but it didn't erase the uneasy feeling of Wilson knowing what he was doing. There was a part of him that thought about not doing it but he didn't want another dream of Cuddy that was never going to happen, he'd barely handled the last one. He was about to sit on the couch when he saw Wilson's things there and decided he would use his recliner this time. He grabbed a small bottle in the back of a drawer in his side table before sitting down in the recliner.

He couldn't help feeling a little disappointed in himself amongst the the afterglow of his release only five minutes later. Usually it took him longer than that to get going but that was when he'd been doing it almost daily and it had been five long months since he'd touched himself. He threw two tissues away along with putting the lube back and washed his hands. He contemplated sending a text to Wilson that he could come back in but he really didn't want his friend knowing how little time it had taken him. He had to admit he felt a lot more relaxed but he wasn't really tired so when he walked out of his bathroom to see his beautiful baby-grand just sitting there he knew exactly how he wanted to spend the rest of his alone time. He leaned his crutches against the body of the piano and sat down at the bench. The instrument looked the same as it had before the accident and yet he felt nervous and unworthy to be seated at it as he looked around. "Hi," he said softly, "I'm sorry for being gone so long." House let his right hand caress the smooth black paint and leaned in closer, "I missed you the most," he whispered, "but don't tell the others. It's not their fault that nothing can compare to you," he said as he uncovered the keys and smiled shyly. They were magnificent; pale creamy silky smooth cool keys mix with slender dark ebony keys that stood out of the way yet begged for attention. House licked his lips as he could feel the instrument pulling him in with all it's alluring promises. "You want me to warm you up?" he asked tenderly letting his fingers brush over the keys teasingly and then pressed in a key. His eyes brows shot up as sound ravished his ear with its striking elegance.

Wilson was just getting off the phone with Megan when a scowling couple walked out of the building and almost into him.

"Why doesn't the property manager do something about this? I mean who plays the piano at one in the morning!" she said with irritation.

The guy shrugged, "Hey, it could be worse, at least he's good."

Wilson blinked at them as they disappeared in the dark his smile getting bigger by the second and soon he jumped up quietly making his way to House's door and laid down his on his back his ear inches from the crack under the door listing to the music with his head resting on his folded coat. It was almost two-thirty when Wilson received a text that he could come back in and he jumped to his feet as he heard the door unlock.

House rose an eyebrow as he took in Wilson's appearance. His hair was sticking out at odd angles, a coy smile played across his lips, fingers tapping against his thigh and soft caring brown eyes. "Why, Jimmy, you sure moved fast for being outside," he said with a knowing look.

Wilson ducked his head some as he walked in, "I heard you playing. Sorry, couldn't resist. You know if you'd play with me around every now and then I wouldn't have to resort to laying outside your door." He said stretching his stiff back.

House tried not to smile, "So you want me serenade you?" he asked amusement in his features. "Yeah, that sounds completely heterosexual. It's just like that scene in Lethal Weapon when Murtaugh asks Riggs to play sweet music for him. Oh... wait.. that never happened."

Wilson blinked at him, "Did you just make yourself Mel Gibson?"

House scoffed, "No, I made myself Riggs. It's not like you're Riggs. Riggs was a trained soldier that was a loner with bad ass skills, that's not you," he said with a smile.

"Hey, I've got skills," Wilson complained. "And I'm more Riggs than I am Murtaugh. You're the old one and I'm better with the ladies."

House chuckled, "You're always the one marrying the ladies, plus I'm the suicidal one, that means I win," he said with a smirk of victory. "But don't worry, I'll pull you off the toilet to save your life if it ever comes to that."

Wilson tried to take what House said as a joke but it was hard too, "Right, I'm not sure if you being suicidal is a WIN for you."

House rolled his eyes, "Quit over thinking it," he said trying to brush it off. "Plus Riggs ended up fine in the Lethal Weapons because he had Murtaugh, so that means I'll be fine because I have you."

Wilson smiled a little, "Yeah, you have me, House."


	98. Chapter 98 : Bitchrayal

It was Wednesday morning when Wilson's phone chimed to let him know he had an email. He quickly read it with confusion as Dr. Philips asked if he would be at the emergency board member meeting later that day. The usual board member meetings occurred on the tenth of each month and it was very rare to have an emergency meeting and if there was one why hadn't he been told about it. He quickly called up Cuddy.

Cuddy looked at her phone with a deep frown, "Hi, Wilson, how is everything going with House?" she asked hoping to take him off the topic of the call.

Her voice wasn't as cheery as it usually was and he suddenly recalled that the last time they'd seen each other she'd been calling him a pervert and House a fool. "We're doing better, he's not having as many nightmares, but the reason for the call was to see about this meeting tonight and why I wasn't told about it?"

She looked down at the agenda papers for the meeting and sighed, "I'm sorry, I just knew you had been helping House out and it's really a stupid meeting, just a procedure that we have to follow. Seriously it's nothing." she said gritting her teeth as she looked at the title.

Wilson didn't like not being informed but if it was just a waste of time then he wasn't going to leave House to go to it. "Alright, just let me know about it next time, procedure say's that all members of the board are to be informed even if we don't end up going. Thanks for thinking about House."

Cuddy felt a lump form in her throat at the mention of House, "Yeah, remind him that I want him to take it easy and if I see him up here before the beginning of next week he's in trouble."

"Will do," he said and was about to hang up but stopped. "Um... I know none of this can be easy on you and I really do appreciate all the time you're giving him to adapt to this. He'd never say it but it helps him and it means a lot to him that you're doing this for him."

She felt her eyes water up some, "I'm just doing my job and trying to help him even if he doesn't always realized it."

"He does, he just won't admit it. Thanks, Cuddy," Wilson said with meaning.

She was silent for a while trying to decide what to say, "I've got to go, thanks for calling," she said and hung up the phone.

He looked at the phone for a minute, something seemed off about her but he couldn't put a finger on it, maybe he was just imagining it. He emailed Dr. Philips and let him know that he wasn't going to be able to make it but to let him know if anything interesting was brought up then went back to cleaning the stove which evidently House did know how to use even if it was just to cook pizzas with.

111111111111111

Wilson watched as House picked at his plate with conflicting eyes. "Tomorrow is the best time to tell them, right?" House half asked and half announced.

Wilson blinked at him with concern, "Tell whom about what?" he asked

"To tell the team about my HIV status," House said as if it was obvious.

Wilson thought about just letting it go but curiosity won out, "Why tomorrow? What makes it any better than any other day?"

"You know your head can be used for more than a place to put hats," House said with frustration. "If I tell them Monday the entire day is going to be focused on that so I need to tell them before."

"Alright," Wilson said following that logic.

"And my team doesn't work the weekend unless they have a very important case. Friday is the worst time to tell employees anything because they obsess about it all weekend and all they really want to do is be off work, but Thursday is perfect, it's just another work day and will give them plenty of time to accept that I am HIV positive instead of more testing and trying to fix me. It's the most perfect day of the choices I have," House announced.

"I guess," Wilson said with a sigh, "are you sure you want to tell them?"

House nodded, "I owe them that. If I had a medical emergency I'd want them to know."

Wilson wondered how the team would take it and then thought back to his talk with Cuddy that morning. "Cuddy told me to tell you that she doesn't want to see you back till next week," he said watching House.

House scoffed, "And when have I ever done what she wanted?"

"Never," Wilson admitted hoping that the team would take it better than Cuddy and he had.

11111111111

It was two-thirty when Wilson and House pulled up to the hospital. "I'd feel better if you'd take the wheelchair," Wilson pleaded for the third time.

House rolled his eyes, "I don't need the wheelchair, I'm fine with the crutches and could probably manage with a cane if you'd let me," he said with a glare.

Wilson looked away, "I'm hiding them for you're own good. This weekend you can TRY with the cane but I don't want you pushing it too fast," he said unbuckling his belt. "I know it's probably futile for me to ask this, but could you please not try to rub it in Cuddy's face that you're here against her wishes? Maybe we could sneak in and out without her even noticing," he said hopefully.

"And what would be the fun in that?" House asked with a gleam in his eyes.

Wilson sighed, at least he'd tried. He got out of the car and walked in with House who was moving rather quickly for a man on crutches. House had decided it would probably be best to sneak in and then he could rub it in Cuddy's face when he was leaving, that way she couldn't try to stop him from telling the team. He glanced up on his way through the lobby to the elevator and slowed down as he realized several of the doctors were staring at him with... pity? He saw a couple of them look away when his eyes met there but others just frowned at him.

Cuddy was on her way to the nurses station when her eyes widened on House and Wilson. House looked in her direction and his eyes met hers. She hadn't been expecting to have to see him so soon and fear mixed with guilt. "I need to see you two in my office," she said trying to get control over her emotions.

House could tell he wasn't going to like what she had to say. "After I speak with my team," he said as the elevator doors opened and he got on with Wilson who gave Cuddy an apologetic look.

"She looked upset," Wilson said to House as the elevator doors closed.

House shook his head, "No, she looked guilty. She's done something she feels ashamed of and I'm not eager to find out what it is," he said as he felt some fear in the pit of his stomach. When the doors opened he wasn't surprised to see Cuddy in the DDX room with the team. He quickened his pace on the crutches to see the team leaving the room while Cuddy stayed in it. "I need to talk to you," he said as they started to walk by him.

"Cuddy said she needs to talk to you first and then you can talk to us," Foreman said with concerned.

"What's going on?" Kutner asked as Cuddy stared at House from the DDX room.

House sighed, "I'll tell you in a minute," he said and went past them barging in to DDX room. He stared at Cuddy who swallowed hard and stood up straight. "What did you do?" he asked to see her eyes fill with guilt again as she was wringing her hands.

"Sit down, please," Cuddy said softly as she tried to gather up the courage to tell him and tried to convince herself she'd done the right thing.

Wilson walked in, "Look, I told him you didn't want him to come in till next week but he thinks it'll be better if the team has some time to process the news before he comes back. He just planned to tell them and leave, I promise," he said hoping to disfuse an argument.

Cuddy licked her pale lips, "I need both of you to sit down. There's something I need to tell you," she said looking from one of them to another as Wilson sat down and House still stood. She could see House searching her eyes and looked back to Wilson. "First of all I want to say that I did the best I..."

"Just get down to the point of how you fucked me over," House said coldly but there was still some hurt in his eyes.

Cuddy swallowed hard and looked to him, "I did the right thing," she said softly but the desperation in her voice told of her insecurities about her decision, "the only thing I could do."

He's eyes changed from a moment of confusion to painful betrayal, "You...told?" House said hardly believing it himself but knowing that it had to be that for her to feel this bad. "I... I trusted you," he said with accusing eyes and pained words.

"House, she didn't tell," Wilson said with confidence, "she wouldn't have done that." He said and looked to Cuddy who was frowning at him with guilt filled eyes and his mouth dropped. "How? How could you?" he asked standing up.

Cuddy looked down, "I didn't have a choice..." she started but was interrupted by House.

"Of course you did, you just made the wrong one like you always do!" House yelled at her. "It wasn't you're place to tell anyone about my medical problems! That was personal and it was your DUTY to protect my privacy under doctor patient confidentiality!" He said as her betrayal cut him to his core. He'd told her because he loved her and he'd believed that she at least cared about him.

"Greg, I'm your boss and the administrator of this hospital. I had to think about the hospital," Cuddy said softly as she could see the pain her actions had caused him and knew he'd hate her when he found out everything. "That's why yesterday I had to tell the board about your... condition," she said looking at the floor.

"Don't ever call me Greg again," House said staring her down even if she refused to look at him.

Wilson scoffed, "You bitch. You told me that the board members meeting that was held last night wasn't important because you knew if I showed up that I never would have allowed you to violate his privacy like that!"

"Actually I said it was just following protocol and that is what it was. There are rules in place for doctors who are... like him," Cuddy said refusing to look at House.

"LIKE HIM?" Wilson exclaimed walking towards her, "Is he not human anymore because he's sick? Do you think it's going to make him a bad doctor or something?"

Cuddy's eyes saddened on Wilson's, "I had to ask myself a question... the same question I have to ask myself about every doctor I hire. Would I want or trust him to be my daughters doctor," she said hoping he'd understand.

"I would never hurt a patient! I save lives and as much as I despise you right now I'd never be cruel to Rachel because of it. Hell I saved Mark's life! Do you have any idea how hard that was for me?" House yelled.

The team stood down the hall watching. They couldn't tell exactly what was being said but it was easy to see that conversation was getting out of control.

"Lisa," Wilson said with disappointment, "you know he'd never hurt someone. That's not who he is."

"Not on purpose, no, of course not, but accidents happen," Cuddy said as her eyes filled with tears. "If he had a cut on his finger and touched a sore on a patient or if he accidentally pricked himself with a needle before giving a patient a shot with it," she said.

Wilson shook his head, "He's not an idiot he'd nev.." he started but was interrupted by Cuddy.

"You can't promise that, no one can. Would you bet your families life on him following procedures? And even if he never did and a patient found out about his condition, what do you think would happen? They'd sue the him and the hospital," Cuddy said looking past Wilson to House.

House shook his head as his eyes widened, "What did you do?" he asked fear heavy in his voice.

Cuddy swallowed, "The rules state that a doctor with HIV can not treat patients, so House will be moved to work in the research department." She said looking to Wilson again as she didn't have the guts to see House's reaction.

"You can't do that!" Wilson protested with outrage. "This job is all he has, it's his life!"

"It's already done," Cuddy said and looked toward House as she heard him fall.

Wilson ran to his friend, "House, we'll fight this," he said with reassurance but House just started forward as his eyes watered and his breath became more heavy. "House?" he said touching his arm but House just rocked breathing more rapidly.

"Is he okay?" asked Foreman as the team entered after seeing House fall.

Thirteen looked at House and then to Cuddy, "He's having a panic attack! What the hell did you say to him?" She asked as Kutner got a nurse to get a gurney for House.


	99. Chapter 99 : Who Ya Gonna Call

Beep...beep...beep

"You heard me!" Wilson all but growled. "I'm his medical proxy and I'm taking him home!"

"Wilson, I just came by to see how he was doing!" Cuddy said looking at the lifeless body that was staring at the ceiling.

He stepped between her view of House, "I don't care. You shouldn't even be in the same building as him! This is your fault!" He yelled at her with tears threatening his eyes.

Her chin shook as she shook her head, "I... was just doing my job," she said and sniffled. "I never thought..."

"You broke him," Wilson hiss in a low whisper. "After all he'd lost you took away the last thing he had and it killed him and you knew it would." He said heavy with accusation as he narrowed his eyes on her.

Cuddy swallowed shaking her head, "How could I know he'd go into shock or slip into a Catatonic Depression? No one could have predicted that!"

"Get me the discharge papers," he demanded and narrowed his eyes on her, "and you'll be hearing from his lawyer."

11111111111111

Wilson looked at House with concern as the man stared with a glazed look at an empty wall in the wheelchair, the only movement was his right arm would jerk from time to time. "Yes, I'm still here," he said to the voice on he phone. "Why wont he take the case?" he asked and sighed. "Listen, I don't see what the old cases against House have to do with this. All of those patients have been either compensated or found to be false claims," he responded. "I don't care what it makes him look like! The fact is that a week ago he was the best doctor in the world saving lives and now he's... he's a statue! DON'T YOU PEOPLE GET THAT!" he yelled and hung up the phone.

He took a few calming breaths and looked back over at House. Now he really had complete control over House and it sickened him. He missed the arguments and the laughter along with the snide remarks and even the sadness, he missed it all. He got up and walked over to House, "Hey, talk to me," he begged but there was no response. "Dammit, House! I know you're in there and that you can hear me!" He said but House didn't even blink. He ran his hand through his hair as he walked in the kitchen and warmed up a bowl of ravioli then went back to House. "Here," he said putting the spoon up to House's mouth but nothing happened and Wilson shook his head. "Don't you start this shit," he said in a deep voice. He kept trying to get House to eat, even tried prying his mouth open but nothing worked and he knew this had to end.

1111111111111

"Stacy Warner speaking," Stacy said as she looked through some emails on her computer.

"Stacy, it's James," Wilson said wondering how this would go.

Stacy smiled, "When's the wedding?" she said opening up her calender on her cell so she could put it down.

"Wedding? There's no wedding," he said with confusion.

"Ah, then this is about House I'm assuming. Those usually are the only times I hear from you. What has he done now?" She asked looking through her schedules for the next couple of days.

Wilson was hurt by the casual accusation in her voice but he knew even as bad as she'd treated House when they were dating she wasn't heartless and reminded himself that she had no idea of what had happened. "It's not like that," he said not knowing where to begin. "Stacy, he needs you," he said solemnly.

Stacy sighed, "Look, James, if House wants to see me he can call me and I'll come down but if he wants my help he needs to ask for it himself. I know you mean well but..."

"He hasn't spoken in over a week," he said interrupting her.

She blinked as she looked at her speaker phone, "Is he conscious?" she asked seriously as concern started to fill her.

Wilson looked at Greg whose was sitting on the couch with his arms tangled around himself in an unnatural position. "He's in a Catatonic Depression. He's here but he's not here. I have to give him baths and take him to the restroom. Yesterday he just stopped eating." He said looking at his friend.

Stacy started texting people about rescheduling meetings. "I'll be on the next flight out," she said already looking up ticket information. "I'll text you to let you know more," she said and ended the call. She tried to focus on getting tickets and making sure she'd cancel all of her meeting for the next three days but all she could think about was Greg. The man had been through some really bad shit and if he was in a depression that was so bad it made him not function then whatever had happened to him had to be very very bad and wrong.

When she'd gotten everything settled she went home and started packing.

"Can I bring doctor teddy?" John asked holding the teddy by it's ear.

Stacy looked at the boy who already resembled his father so much and frowned, "Sure, Sweetie. Now remember we aren't going to tell Daddy about this little trip because it's a what?" she asked.

John smiled and looked around leaning closer to his mother, "It's a secret," he whispered and then put a finger to his pursed lips.

At the age of two and he was already speaking in sentences and grasping concepts that were years beyond him. "That's right," she said with a smile. "Are you about done packing?" she asked. She'd already packed his clothes in with hers but she'd left him to pack his backpack full of toys for the trip.

"Yes!" The boy said jumping in excitement and she picked him up and put him on the bed to start tickling him. The boy laughed and giggled as he was tickled then they just laid there for a minute. John watched his mother, "Mommy, are we going to a funeral?" he asked watching her mouth.

Stacy gave her son a curious look, "No, why would you think that?"

"You look sad," John said looking into his mother's eyes with worry.

She gave him a sad smile, the boy noticed everything. "We're going to visit a friend and he's sick. I'm just worried about him is all," she explained rubbing his cheek with her hand.

"Do I know him?" the boy asked raising his eyebrows.

Stacy swallowed hard as she looked into her son's bright blue eyes and frowned. "No, Baby, you've never met him before," she said and pulled him into a hug. Her baby had never met his own father and now the man who'd given her the most precious child in the world was sick and needed her.

She looked at the familiar building from the parked car. It was the same place she'd gone some 15 years ago after their first date.

_Stacy panted as she hid behind the tree. All of her co-workers were already out but she's managed to stay in the game and had taken out a couple of the doctors too. For once she was thankful she'd had brothers instead of sisters as she had gotten more accustomed to these kind of games then dressing Barbie dolls. She listened but heard no one and wondered if all of the lawyers were down, even those from the other firm they'd been playing with. Most of the doctors had gone down easy but they had someone on their team that had taken over the game and she couldn't wait to shoot him with her purple paintball. She smiled and peeked around the tree._

_Greg was perched high up in a tree as he watched the panting woman slide quietly against the tree next to him with a raised eyebrow. There she sat, the last of the lawyers with a smile on her face. It was too easy. He watched her calm regain control over her breathing and look around the tree. He could hunt her down all day if he wanted to, but he was starting to get hungry. He took aim and pulled the trigger to hear a loud squeal come from the woman._

_She felt the paintball hit her thigh and looked down to see red paint on her. She looked around in confusion until she heard the crack of branch and looked up to see the man smirking at her and she narrowed her eyes in irritation. "How long have you been on our side of the woods?" she asked standing up and jumped as the alarm sounded for the end of the game._

_He slide the paintball gun on the strap around him and started jumping down tree limbs, "Since two minutes into the game," he said from a branch twenty feet off the ground before jumping down to the ground in front of her._

_Stacy arched an eyebrow as the man rolled into the fall and then stood up as if it were something he'd done a hundred times. She looked him over, he was in great shape, good looking and young. "You don't act like a doctor," she said, "if I had to guess I'd say Military."_

_Greg gave her a steady gaze, "What makes you say that?"_

"_My father was in the Military and you move like he did," she said noticing the deep blue of his eyes and suddenly noticing they were alone._

"_Marines, eight years," he said and swallowed looking away. He usually didn't tell people. It wasn't something he was proud of or even liked to admit but he didn't want to deny her figuring him out since it was rare someone did._

_Stacy's brow furrowed, "How old are you?" she asked not understanding how he looked so young._

"_Twenty nine," Greg said and could see her math wasn't adding up. "I'm a genious and, no, that's not me being a typical egotistical doctor. I have an IQ of 175 so I naturally graduated high school at the age of twelve, finished with my bachelors before I turned sixteen, was enlisted with the Marines for eight years then got out to finish medical school and here I am," he said casually._

_She grinned at his casual explanation of an incredible feat. "And here you are," she agreed. "I guess the polite thing to do would be to offer to buy you dinner since you won. I'd hate to come off as a sore loser," she said as she started walking in the direction of the beginning of the woods._

_He watched her with a small smile. She was smart and attractive, which meant she had to already be taken. The smile faded, "Don't worry about it," he said walking beside her._

_Stacy chewed her lip, "You got plans tonight, a girlfriend to get home too?" she asked trying to sound light hearted about it._

_Greg shook his head, "Nope, but I'm sure you have better things to do than taking me to a victory dinner," he said and had to keep from laughing as he saw Wilson covered in purple paint._

_She glanced at him wondering if he was really to dense to get that she liked him to see him grinning at another male doctor and she rolled her eyes, of course. "Do you know of any single doctors I might could get a date with," she asked figuring it didn't matter if he knew her real motive for coming to the event since he was gay anyways._

_He thought about it, "Well if you were looking to get married I'd tell you to date Wilson, but he's already with someone," he said pointing to his friend and whispered, "wife number two I suspect." He looked around at the others and pointed to the left, "Rogers over there is single but he's a jew," he said to see her give him a questioning look. "You're wearing a crucifix, it's not that hard to figure out," he explained then looked around more pointing to a short hairy man. "That's Williams but if you ever saw him remove a gallbladder you wouldn't believe he ever got out of medical school," he said with a smile._

"_Wait... so are you dating someone?" Stacy asked as realized the man she'd thought he was with was just a friend and the guys he was pointing out weren't very attractive._

"_No," Greg said walking over to Wilson and laughing. "Oh... I should have brought my camera, this is priceless," he said with an evil smile._

_Wilson glared at him, "Of course you didn't get hit," he said and then looked at the woman with Greg. "Hey, that's her! That's the one that just kept shooting at me!" he said as he took off the protective coveralls._

_Greg laughed harder, "You got hit by a girl," he said in a fit of laughter, "oh... oh... I can't... breath," he said laughing as Wilson reddened._

"_Sorry, the trigger must have gotten stuck," Stacy lied but felt a little sorry for the guy especially since his friend was laughing at him._

_Wilson flushed and shrugged a shoulder, "I'm fine," he said glancing to House who was now on the ground still laughing and muttering the word 'girl'. He gave an embarrassed smile to the woman, "House isn't good with introductions. My name is Dr. James Wilson, and yours?" he asked._

_'House?' she thought about the name for a second before answering. "My name is Stacy Patterson," she said and looked back to the other doctor with confusion._

_Wilson got it immediately, the woman was interested in House. "Hey, House, you know you could invite Mrs. Patterson over here to the Christmas party at the hospital," he said winking._

_Greg looked at Wilson like he was crazy, "Why would I do that? I don't want to go myself so why would I want to take her to suffer through that," he said standing up and taking off his coveralls. "Plus she's looking for a date," he said._

_Wilson looked to Stacy to see her blush looking away and didn't see how such a smart man could be so clueless. "Right... and you're single," he said giving a House a understanding look._

_Greg raised an eyebrow, "Yeesss? Now am I suppose to say a random fact about you?" he asked._

"_I'm sorry," Wilson said to Stacy, "I need to have a talk with him for just a second," he said and pulled House over to the side._

"_Hey, what's gotten into you," Greg said looking at him as if he was crazy._

"_She wants you to ask her out," Wilson said to House._

_Greg looked at Stacy and shook his head, "No... no, she just invited me to dinner to celebrate my victory, that's all but I let her off the hook," he said._

_Wilson blinked at House dumbfounded by how oblivious he could be. "That woman shot me six times in a row. She isn't the kind of girl who takes someone out for a victory dinner. She just said that because she wanted to go out with you."_

_Greg thought about it and looked back over to Stacy, "So that's why she asked if I was seeing anyone?" he said to himself as he frowned. "Why would she want to date me?" he asked looking to Wilson._

"_Why not you?" Wilson asked to see House look at her with caution and fear. "You've dated... right?" he asked realizing that in the two years he'd known the man he'd never actually seen him date anyone._

_Greg glanced at Wilson and shrugged, "Sure, I've gone on a date or two," he said trying to sound casual._

_Wilson's mouth dropped open. He knew House didn't socialize a lot but the man was smart and good looking, he'd just assumed the guy had dated a lot. "How many girlfriends have you had?" he asked skeptically._

"_One," Greg said as his ears flushed._

"_Wow," Wilson said in astonishment, "just tell me you aren't... you know," he said watching House._

_Greg looked at him with confusion and then he understood, "I've done the deed," he said flushing a deeper shade of red._

_Wilson let out a sigh of relief, "Then go on and ask her out," he said._

_Greg swallowed hard, "What if your wrong about this?" he asked running his hand through his hair in an attempt to make it look better._

"_Believe me, I'm not," Wilson said with confidence as he looked House over to give him an approving nod._

_Greg licked his lips and walked over to Stacy. "My name is Dr. Gregory House," he said watching her._

_Stacy gave him a weary smile, "I'm Stacy Patterson, it's nice to meet you," she said hoping this was going somewhere._

_He nodded back at her and chewed his lips, "I've dated a girl before," he said watching to see her response._

_She blinked at him and couldn't help but smile at the statement. "That's reassuring," she said trying not to laugh as he watched her with penetrating eyes. He was too handsome and fit to be so innocent but she didn't think this was some act. "When's the last time you went on a date?" she asked tenderly._

_Greg frowned, "Three years ago, back when I was in medical school," he answered feeling more awkward. "Why are you interested in me?" he countered._

_Stacy was shocked by the question, it wasn't something people asked even if they thought it. "You're good looking, smart, fit and a doctor. I'm pretty sure that's about every girls dream." She said giving him a reassuring smile._

_He chewed on his lip some as he thought about what she'd said. "I'm probably doing this all wrong," he admitted looking away, "I haven't done a lot of dating." He glanced back at her to see her giving him a sweet smile, "I'm sure you have to beat the guys off with sticks."_

"_No, I just sue them," She said with a grin._

_Greg smiled at the joke and cleared his throat, "So, where should I take a girl like you for a date?" he asked hoping to hear something that wasn't completely out of his comfort zone._

"_Where do you usually go to have a good time?" Stacy asked both curious and trying to find a place he'd be more relaxed since he seemed so uneasy._

_He flushed some, "Home mostly. I'm really a homebody or I go hiking and stuff like that. There is a dueling pianos bar I go to sometimes," he said hoping he did come off as a complete dork._

_She couldn't believe how completely adorable he was, "And what do you do at home?" she asked._

"_Play the piano, guitar, of the Super Nintendo," House said and blushed more. "Yeah, I'm a complete dork by the way."_

_Stacy's eyes lit up, "Do you have Clayfighter?" she asked getting excited._

_Greg grinned with confidence; he knew games. "I've beaten it. I have all the games you could want, Zelda, Street Fighter, Simpsons, Jeopardy, Mega Man, Mortal Kombat, all the Mario Brothers, Tetris,"_

"_Stop," she said putting a finger to his lips, "save it for tonight," she said giving him a seductive smile. "Be prepared to be beaten by a girl, just like your friend over there," she said tilting her head in James's direction as she removed her finger._

_He gave her a cocky smirk, "Bring it on," he said with a glint in his eye, "loser buys the pizza."_

_Stacy laughed, pizza and video games it was her dream date. "You're suck a player," she said giving him a naughty wink. "You keep this up and you'll never get rid of me," she said smiling._

_Greg licked his lips, "Sounds like a risk I'll have to take," he said in a deep rich voice. His voice made her quiver on the inside as his blue eyes seemed to see straight to her soul._

Stacy bit her lip as she looked over to see John sleeping in the seat next to her and sighed. It was time.


	100. Chapter 100 : Here for House

**Happy New Years Eve Everyone! Wanted to let all my readers out there know how much I appreciate you reading and reviewing my stories so every story is getting a update today, the last day of the year! Thank you all so much you're reviews and feedback has meant the world to me. Nicole**

Kutner shook his head to the nurse in the clinic as she tried to hand him a file, "I'm taking a break," he said with an edge in his voice.

Beth sighed, "Just don't make it a long one, Dr. Cuddy wants.."

"I don't give a shit about what Dr. Cuddy wants. My boss is out and she wont even tell us what's going on with him or if his condition has improved. I didn't go though the hell of House's hiring process to work in a clinic," he said as he walked off.

She frowned but let him go. He was right Cuddy owed the team and the rest of the hospital answers. House had been taken to the ICU on a gurney and then... never heard from. His blinds were closed and the door was locked with only Wilson coming in or out. Wilson refused to speak about it but no one had the heart to be mad at him when it was so obvious he was suffering from his friends condition. Then three days ago House's room had come up empty and Wilson was gone.

Kutner's jaw was set as he walked to the ER and flagged down Thirteen who was just finishing up with a patient. She quickly made her way over to Kutner, "Any news yet?" she asked with desperation.

"No, but I say it's time we demand some answers. I don't know about you, but the only reason I'm at this hospital is because of House and I'm not going to clock in one more hour until I know what's going on with him," he said with determination.

Her eyebrow arched in surprise, "Wow, didn't know you had that big of balls," she said impressed.

"House let me borrow them," Kutner said with a slight smile that faded as quickly as it had come on. "He wouldn't just let it go if it was one of us. He wouldn't stop until he found us and figured out how to help us."

Thirteen nodded, "You're right, he wouldn't. Let's get the others," she said walking away from the ER and toward the Neurology department. Within an hour they were all sitting at the DDX table, including Chase and Cameron.

"I say we march into Cuddy's office and tell her that if we don't get answers that we're going on strike," Thirteen suggested.

Foreman thought about it some, "Look, I want to know what's going on with House as much as the rest of you but I don't know if a strike is the best way to go about this," he said with concern.

"Foreman has a point. What if she just decides to fire us?" Taub said worry.

Chase rolled his eyes, "She's not going to fire us; there's no way she can afford to lose six of us at one time," he said and then looked to Foreman. "He's put his life and job on the line for all of us without even a hesitation, if you can't do this for him then you don't deserve to work with him."

Foreman frowned as shame hit him from the words, "Alright, I'm in," he said and glanced to Taub who looked like he was on the fence about it.

Taub wasn't that close to House but he did respect the man a great deal and if he'd wanted to be working back in plastics he'd be doing it at a private office were he got paid ten times as much. He wanted to be working with House again and if this was the only way to do it, then so be it. "Okay," he agreed.

Kutner smiled, "Let's get some answers," he said standing up and the others followed suite.

Nathan glanced up at them as they walked in and sighed as he picked up the phone and pressed a button, "Their here," he said as if the appointment had been scheduled and nodded before hanging up the phone. "She's ready for you," he announced.

They'd been expecting to have surprise on their side and the whole team seemed disturbed by the fact that they were somehow expected but they made their way in Cuddy's office, there was no turning back now.

Cuddy stood up from her desk with a concerned frown, taking special notice that not only was House's team there but so was Cameron and Chase. She let out a tired sigh, "So, what are your demands and what happens if I don't give in," she asked crossing her arms.

It was embarrassing to be so transparent but Kutner stood tall, "We go on strike if you don't tell us what's going on with House, his current condition, and where he is," he said clearly.

Cuddy hadn't been expecting a strike and clinched her jaw, "Is this something you two are in on too, or are you here just out of support," she asked looking to Chase and Cameron.

Cameron glared at Cuddy, "We're all together in this. We either get some answers about Dr. House or we all go on strike," she said crisply.

"I can't tell you of his current condition since I haven't been informed of them myself," Cuddy said sitting on the edge of her desk as she looked at the group.

The entire team looked around as to see if it was okay to proceed with things or if they should have conditions if all the demands weren't met. Thirteen decided to take lead so that they didn't look so unprepared. "Then we are given family emergency time off until we can see how he is for ourselves," she said with as much confidence as if it had been part of the plans from the beginning. Foreman had a small smile of pride on his face at how good she was at negotiations.

The administrator part of Cuddy wanted to fight against the condition since House wasn't their family, but she couldn't because she knew deep down that they were his. "He wanted to be the one to tell you but... I guess I'll have to do," she said and took a deep breath. "The last day Dr. House worked he got some bad news. He..." she looked down taking a steadying breath as it was still hard for her to say, "he tested positive for HIV."

Their was a long silence as the team was shocked by the news. Foreman closed his eyes, the state he'd seen House in now made sense. Thirteen's eyes water, the conversation about terminal conditions with House was now understood. Taub's face was set in a sympathetic frown for their boss. Chase's chin shook as his eyes watered at the idea that the closest thing he had to a paternal figure had been diagnosed with such a condition. Empathy filled Cameron as she though about all House had already endured just to have gotten this too. Kutner felt the air leave his lungs at the news and watched Cuddy with wide eyes, "How? Why was he being tested?" he asked as panic hit him.

"Mr. Young, the man who attacked him at his home, was HIV positive and he was bleeding on House's open wounds. He's been taking post exposure prophylaxis and being tested regularly ever since the attack," Cuddy said with some resentment in her voice at not being informed about it until he got the result.

"Wait, so you knew about this all along and.." Chase began to say in anger when he was cut off by her.

"NO, I didn't know," Cuddy said sharply as she eyes shined with pain, "He and Wilson didn't find it important enough to let me know about until he tested positive. I got it out of him after the scene he made in the lobby." She swallowed as she prepared to tell them the hardest part of the news. "There, of course, are rules and regulations this hospital has in place for such situations," she said to see every eye land on her in confusion. "Our hospital doesn't allow HIV positive doctors to have patients so Dr. House is officially no longer over the Diagnostics department and will be moved to research," she said to see eyes narrow or widen by her words.

"That's why he went into shock, because you told him you were pulling him from Diagnostics to stick him in some research lab!" Thirteen yelled with fire in her eyes.

Kutner shook his head, "You can't do that to him, he lives for his work. You might as well load the gun and shoot him yourself!"

Chase felt tear run down his cheeks, "Don't you care about him at all?" he asked with accusation.

Taub blinked as he still tried to process it, "There's no way House could do research all day, he'd go nuts."

Cameron narrowed her eyes harshly on Cuddy, "How could you violate his privacy like that? There's no way in hell he told you that as his boss! He told you as a friend and you fucking used it against him," she said addressing Cuddy with horror and disgust. "He... he trusted you and you used it against him again! What it wasn't enough you left him crippled and afraid to trust the first time, now you had to go back and take away his job and any trust he could have ever had left?!"

Cuddy felt the words hit harder than bullets and her eyes moistened some, "It was my job to inform the board and follow the proper regulations. He is HIV positive and there are liabilities to be considered," she said refusing to admit that what she'd done was in any way wrong.

"That's bullshit! House hardly ever even sees patients!" Foreman yelled in a deep angry voice that silenced the room as the truth of his words rang out.

Cuddy swallowed hard as she looked at him to see distrust and disappointment apparent on his features and took a shaky breath. "House is in a catatonic depression and Wilson discharged him to take him home on Monday. I haven't heard anymore about his condition," she said lowering her eyes.

The team filed out of Cuddy's office too depressed and angry to say anything else except Cameron who stayed behind. When the room was empty she looked to Cuddy with deepest contempt, "He loved you," she said with fresh tears in her eyes and betrayal in her voice.

Cuddy looked up both surprised and heartbroken by the statement, "I know," she said the words heavy on her lips.

"This... it hurt him worse than the leg... than Stacy," Cameron said needing to hear some true regret from Cuddy, "he may never recover."

Cuddy swallowed hard tears falling from her eyes, "I was just doing my job, I didn't have.."

"Was it worth breaking him to win?" Cameron asked sharply interrupting Cuddy's words that neither one of them believed.

Cuddy's frown deepened, "I never meant to break him," she said softly.

Cameron let out a sigh of contempt, "No, you just never cared if you did," she said and walked out leaving Cuddy there to wallow in her much deserved guilt.

11111111111

Wilson opened the door and smiled as he saw Stacy then his eyes landed on the boy in her arms and fear filled him. "You brought John?" Wilson questioned as he stared at the back of the boy, afraid to see the front of him.

"Mark is at a convention and wont be back for a week," Stacy said as her eyes scanned the living room. "Where is he?" she asked with concern.

"I put him in the bed a couple of hours ago, he'll be out for another hour or so," he said and saw her eyes focus on him. "He never relaxes his muscles so I have to give him some neuro-muscular blockers and I gave him a shot of morphine for the pain and to make him rest."

She frowned, "Here," she said handing the boy off to him, "I need to see Greg," she finished as she started down the hall.

"Stacy," Wilson said but she didn't stop. "Stacy, wait!" he said as she opened the door but looked over her shoulder at him. "There's a lot I need to tell you first," he said to see her frown deepen and her chin rise in defiance and he let out a defeated sigh as she walked into the room. He looked down in his cradled arms to see John. The boy was sound a sleep with his curly light brown hair kept to a medium length and faded shorter on the sides, much like House use to wear his. The boy had a long face with high wide cheekbones and a strong jaw that led to an average chin.

Stacy walked over to the bed and could immediately tell House had lost a good deal of weight and when she got closer her eyes widened in shock. There were scars on his face and when she saw his neck she backed away from him and fell. She picked herself back up and walked out of the room. "What happened to him!" she demanded in a raised voice but stopped as John stirred in Wilson's arms.

John yawned opening his eyes and looked up to see a man he'd only seen in pictures before. His eyes widened on the man with fear and uncertainty.

Wilson looked into the large bright blue eyes and swallowed as emotion flooded over him. This was House's son in his arms, there was no use denying it. Stacy quickly took the boy whispering reassuring words in his ears and Wilson felt tears well up in his eyes, "I knew it, I knew the moment you made me Godfather that John was his."

"Shut up," She said looking down at John who looked confused. "Where can I put him to sleep?" she asked glancing back at Wilson.

He sighed and went to the closet to pull out a folded cot on wheels with a mattress on it. "We can put it in the bedroom," he said and could tell she was about to protest. "Don't worry, he'll never even know John was there," he said with narrowed eyes.

Stacy followed him in the room and noticed Greg didn't even stir as they made noise getting the cot where they wanted it and opening it. She put her son on the down and gave him several kisses on his forehead. "Get some sleep, baby," she purred to see him close his tired eyes and yawn. She hesitated when she got to the door, but closed it behind her. Stacy narrowed her eyes on Wilson, "Keep him out of this. He's just a child," she hissed as she walked in the living room.

Wilson was going to say something but forced himself to stop, there would be time to discuss John later, now he needed to discuss House.

111111111111

She could feel his eyes on her. She'd been listening to Wilson explain how Greg had gotten into the state he was for the last hour. She'd forced herself to stay calm and take in everything he said instead of reacting before she had a complete picture. Her teeth had been grinding for the past half hour in frustration, "That fucking bitch," she growled finally.

Wilson swallowed as he could literally feel the anger pouring off of her, "Is there anything we can do about his job?" he asked watching her.

Stacy thought about it, "I know we could if he was functioning, but like this... I can't guarantee it. I can promise to get Cuddy fired and Greg a huge settlement but that's all. Wilson, we have to get him out of this," she said with desperation.

"I've been trying," he said with frustration. "At first I talk to him about cases, then I thought if I just got him home... but he's been home for three day and I haven't seen any change except he's now refusing to eat. The only thing left to do is have his psychiatrist see him and prescribe him something but he had some really bad side effects on some medications he was on for the PTSD after that attack in his home."

She arched an eyebrow, "He has a therapist?" she asked impressed by Greg's progression.

"Yeah," Wilson said and gave her a sad smile, "he's been seeing her for over a month now and it's been really good for him. I thought he... he was on the road to being happy before the HIV results came back." He said and shook his head in slight defeat.

Stacy couldn't let this continue, "Let me see what I can do. Maybe I can get him to come out of this," she said refusing to let Greg's life end like this.

He gave her a skeptical look, "How?" he asked.

She gave him a measured look, "I know him better than anyone," she said with confidence.

Wilson bristled at the statement. He'd been House's only close friend for the past 17 years, no one knew House better than he did. "I think I know him just as well as you do," he replied with irritation.

"And you would be wrong," Stacy said simply. "I know things you don't, things he wouldn't tell you and things I picked up on from living with him," she could see him thinking about what she'd said and sighed. "What's there to lose?"

He swallowed, "There are things that trigger his PTSD... things that aren't related to what those men did to him, things that..."

"From his time in the military and being abused as a child by his father," she finished giving him a bored look. "I was a shitty girlfriend with no self restraint and a boyfriend who was use to putting up with abuse; it was a bad combination. I have no problem admitting that but I cared about him deeper than you'll ever know. I've shed more tears for that mans pain than for all of my family combined. I slept next to him for FIVE years and heard his suffering." She said as her face became sad and haunted.

Wilson couldn't help but wondering how horrible it would be to hear such things in the middle of the night from your lover and frowned. "And what about John? If House comes out of this to see his own child standing before him that he never knew anything about it could throw him right back into another catatonic depression."

Stacy swallowed looking back toward the room, "You could take him back to your place. He's well behaved and smart, you have to be careful of what you say around him though."

He liked children and he was the kids Godfather, "Fine, how long to you want with him?"

She chewed her lip, "One full day at least and if nothing changes..." she stopped as there was a knock on the door.

Wilson frowned but went to the door and opened it to reveal House's new and old team. He felt guilty for not keeping them informed but wasn't sure if House would want them to know, "He's in bed and needs his rest," he said firmly but there was warmth in his voice.

Chase's eyes met Wilson's with anger and sadness, "We know and we want to do whatever we can to help."

Wilson's brow gathered in confusion and suddenly relaxed as his jaw tightened, "Of course Cuddy told you, it's not like she has any respect for his privacy," he said with a sigh as he backed up to let the team in.

The old team's eye widened as they saw Stacy standing in the living room, while the new team regarded the woman with curiosity. "Who's she?" Kutner asked glancing back to Wilson.

"I'm Stacy Warner, Greg's ex-girl friend," Stacy answered, "I'm the one that let Cuddy cut into his leg," she said to see realization and concern color their features, "and I'm here to make sure she doesn't get away with this."

Thirteen grinned, "I like her already."

There were some noises from the bedroom and everyone looked at the door as John came walking out with sleepy eyes. His eyes widened on the group of people and their eyes widened on him. "Mommy," the boy said in a questioning tone, "who are these people?" he asked.

Stacy frowned, "They're friends of my sick friend, the one I'm trying to help," she answered as she walked up to him. "Did we wake you, Sweetie?"

John shook his head walking up to his mother who picked him up, "I needed to go to the bathroom but I didn't know where it was," he said resting his head against her shoulder.

"I'll take you," She said softly walking in the restroom with her son.

"Whoa, since when did Stacy have a kid with House?" Foreman asked.

"Oh my god, is he from the affair they had when House was treating Mark?" Cameron asked.

"Who's Mark?" Thirteen asked.

"One at a time," Wilson said. "Yes, John came to be when Mark was in recovery at PPTH. No, House doesn't know and neither did I until a little over an hour ago. Mark is Stacy's husband who House saved."

Stacy walked back in with John holding her hand and could tell in just a couple of seconds by everyone's face what had happened when she was gone and shook her head at Wilson. "Haven't you learned anything from me, deny everything," she said and sighed looking down at John. "Baby, Mommy needs to talk to these people. You think you could go lay down for a little longer?" she asked. John chewed on his lip with hesitation and worry were clear on his feature which concerned Stacy. "Honey, what is it?"

"He's hurting, Mommy, I can hear him hurting," John said with sad features.

Every inch of skin in the room tingled with a cold fear as they looked back toward the bedroom. "Mommy's going to go check on him. You stay with my friend, James, alright," Stacy said pointing to Wilson to see the boy nod and let go of her hand to walk over to Wilson. She walked into the room closing the door behind her and made her way to the bed. Greg's eyes were open staring at the ceiling without focus and she could hear small whimpers in his throat. She got into the other side of the bed and wrapped herself around him. With her head against his chest she could hear the quick beats of his heart and tension in his muscles and her heart melted for him. "Greg, I'm here," she said her warm hands gliding over his bare arms and covered stomach trying to help his muscles relax. "It's okay, I'm going to fix this," she said and kissed his neck to see his adams apple bob as he swallowed hard. She turned and scooted up to look him in the eyes but they looked absent in a way that truly scared her. She let her finger tips explore the scars on his face. "Do you remember how I would just stare at you when we first got together because you were so beautiful? I use to tease you about your long lashes, deep blue eyes and those high cheek bones and I would kiss your strong jaw bone. You're still beautiful, Greg," she leaned in and whispered in his ear then kissed his cheek bone to see his eyes close for a second. He didn't say anything or physically respond to her touch but she knew he was going to be okay. The whimpering had ceased and his heart was beating heavy but at a more controlled pace. He'd heard her, at least part of him had. She stared at his lips for a long moment as she remembered what it was like to have them pressed against her lips and skin.

_It had been a complete dorkfest and easily the best date of her life. There had been no boring talk about each others jobs, no fancy restaurant were you felt on display, not even any utensils. He wasn't staring down her shirt but at her characters killer moves and he was the most sincere man she'd ever met. He didn't do fake laughs or pretend to be listening when he wasn't. He'd actually told her to stop talking and play a couple of times when she'd started rattling on random topics out of nervousness and his laugh... His laugh was like nothing she'd ever seen, there was a quality to it.. a joy in it that you only saw in children and yet he had it in his eyes and the tone of laughter._

_She woke up leaned against his chest and her eyes widened in sudden realization. They'd fallen asleep playing video games. She almost laughed but remained quiet and looked up at him. It had been an amazing date; she'd gone out of attraction and interest but during the night they had become friends. They played off the others humor and acted like children and it had quiet literally been the best night of her life since she'd become old enough to care about embarrassing herself. "You're my Peter Pan," she said with a soft smile and then she heard it._

"_I can't stand," Greg mumbled in a small desperate voice. "Daddy.. please stop..no.." he said in panic and whimpers followed. "Leg broken... please don't," he said his body jerking slightly and then a muffled painful scream left him. "Sorry... no more pancake... birthday isn't important..." he muttered and whimpered._

_Stacy felt her eyes water, "Greg, wake up," she said pushing on his chest to see him jerk and open his eyes._

_He was surprised to be awakened by someones touch and his eyes widened on Stacy. He thought about it and remembered getting tired the night before but he didn't remember falling asleep, especially with her. He saw the concern in her eyes and his ears flushed as he remembered the dream he'd been having and recalled how it use to disturb his unit back in the military. "What did I say?" he asked, never one to avoid the truth._

_She didn't want to tell him all of it. She wanted him to feel comfortable with her, "Something about a broken leg and your birthday," she said deciding to leave out that it was obvious his father had been hurting him. "You sounded like you were in a lot of pain," she said sitting up on her knees to the side of him._

_Greg's body literally pulled back from her without him even thinking about it as he looked at the carpet. "I'm sorry. You should probably go," he said swallowing hard and clenching his teeth._

_Stacy could feel the shame and embarrassment on him along with the fear and touched his cheek with her left hand guiding him to look at her. "I'm not running from you and you better not be running from me, you can't get rid of me that easily," she said with a sweet smile._

_He flushed at her touch and how it made every inch of him tingle and her words were food for the soul as his heart and body were warmed by them. "I've never woken up next to someone," he said honestly then flushed more as he realized how telling the statement had been. "Is there something I'm suppose to do... because I don't know what to do here," he said ducking his head when her thumb glided over his bottom lip._

_She couldn't get enough of him, his shyness was adorable and his innocents was pure and yet his jokes came from a sailors mouth. "Just do what you'd do if I wasn't here. I want to see what you're day is usually like," she said with a grin._

"_Really?" Greg asked to see her nod and he smiled, "alright," he said and got up hitting a boom box as he passed and the introduction to I touch myself started and he quickly stopped it to see her grinning at him._

"_No alterations," Stacy sang with a wicked smile._

_He flush scarlet, "Fine, but it's just a song. It means nothing," he said turning it back on as he walked to the bathroom._

"_Sure thing, it means nothing that you listen to this song while taking a shower," she cooed looking down, "with a hard-on," she finish to see him grimace as he looked at her._

"_Thanks for noticing, I was starting to feel unappreciated," Greg said awkwardly._

_Stacy laughed, "I bet you were. So usually... you'd be singing to this right?" she asked as with a wink and to her amazement he started singing and dancing as he went into the bathroom. She jumped off the couch to check the door but it was locked but she could hear the shower come on and him singing still. "Louder," she yelled to hear him laugh and sing louder. After the song ended a homemade version of Torn came on with Greg singing. She could hear him singing with it from the bathroom too and the emotion behind it made her think about the ONE girlfriend he'd had and she swallowed hard._

_Greg walked out with wet hair to see her watching him with warm eyes as he finished singing his version of Torn. "This would be a little less awkward if you'd sing or at least dance with me," he said walking into the kitchen as Highway to Hell came on he started making coffee._

_She walked in and danced while he sang it and pretended to be playing it. Next was Baby Got Back which truly seemed to embarrass Greg but he sang it dancing along the way, then there was U Can't Touch This which they both danced to and every time she'd try to touch him he'd pull away making it a game in it's self. She was shocked when the song ended and he sat down on the piano bench to start playing with November Rain. She walked over to the piano and a part of her couldn't help but wondering if this was some elaborately thought out plan to impress her because it was very impressive. His voice was deep and soulful, his dancing energetic and fun, and his playing was gorgeous. He smoothly transitioned into Save the Best for Last as the next song started. She watched as he closed his eyes singing with emotion as his fingers move to play the notes as easily as if he were tying his shoe a motion that was every bit normal to him as breathing was to the rest of the world. When it ended he smiled slightly at the keys and started on the next song... something so tender and breath taking she felt her eyes moisten. She listened as he sang softly and it took a moment to realize he was singing in a different language but the singing on the tape was English so she listened to the words and her heart swelled as she was introduced to River Flows in You. "You do this every morning?" she asked not being able to keep the skepticism from her voice when he was done and no other song started._

"_Why not? It warms up the vocal cords, loosens muscles, work every area of my brain, and most important, it puts me in a good mood. Sorry, it drives Wilson crazy when he stays the night too," he said closing the lid on the piano._

"_No," she said quickly, "I enjoyed it. I'm a little crestfallen to hear Wilson get's the same treatment."_

_Greg shrugged, "Only when he drinks his sorrows away and passes out on my couch," he said giving her a shy smile._

_Stacy couldn't help but be amazed by him and all he was. "What language were you singing the last song in?" she asked curious._

"_Korean," he said and saw her eyebrow arch up with a silent question. "Marines brat, traveled a lot overseas. I'm fluent in nine languages one of the few good things that comes from never having a real home."_

_She swallowed, "You're literally the most extraordinary person I've ever met," she said looking to his deep blue eyes as she touched his face._

_Greg felt the warmth of her hand and his heart started racing as her eyes were locked on his. He swallowed, "Now it's time for my run," he said looking down from her eyes trying to avoid the moment of intimacy that make him feel awkward and nervous._

_Stacy was too drawn in by this boy-like shyness to be upset by how he pulled away from her advances and gave him a soft smile. "I didn't bring my sweats," she said moving her hand back._

_He stood up, "You can borrow some of mine," he said walking into his room. He came back out with pair of jogging pants and a AC/DC tee shirt in his hands. _

_She laughed inwardly at the idea of getting in his pants before actually getting in his pants but changed in the bathroom. The pants were long but surprisingly fit in the waist and the shirt went down to her to just an couple of inches above her knee making her look like a child in adults clothing. She walked out and struck a pose, "How do I look," she said in a seductive tone._

_Greg grinned, "Stunning, now lets run," he said putting on a pair of tennis shoes._

_Stacy was in good shape but was surprised at his speed. He was fit and with slender muscles that only seemed to bulk up on his chest, shoulders, and arms. She felt some contempt fill her at how easy it was for him to keep up the grueling pace that he was running out while she struggled to keep up with him and after thirty-five minutes she couldn't take it anymore and sat down in a soft patch of grass enjoying the cold feel of the air on her warm flushed skin. It took him a while before he noticed and came running back to her._

_He frowned as he observed her, "I thought you said you ran?" he asked while jogging in place._

_She narrowed her eyes on him, "I do a thirty minute jog everyday, not a marathon at full speed," she replied._

_Greg knelt down on one knee in front of her, "Then climb aboard, your chariot awaits," he said with a cocky smile._

_Stacy looked at him as if her crazy, "You can't run with me on your back," she said._

"_Oh, but I can," he said and tapped his shoulder. "Come on."_

_She didn't want to have to be carried but she knew they were still at least two miles from his place and she didn't feel like there was anyway she'd be able to make it. She slowly stood up and sighed, "I don't want to break your back," she said considering it._

"_I'll be fine," he said with a grin and she relented. He stood up with her legs around his waist and her hands on his shoulders and wrapped his arm around her legs to steady her more. "Here we go," he said and started running again._

_Stacy was stunned as he kept up the pace he'd been doing without problem and she realized he must have been going slow for her to begin with. It took a couple of minutes before she finally began to relax and soon she was having a good time. When they made it back to his place he bent down quickly catching her in his arms as he did and stood back up to look down at her cradled in his arms. She laughed and shook her head, "My hero," she cooed in the lobby in front of his door._

_Greg let her down, "I'm a mighty mighty man," he said striking a super man pose._

_She laughed harder, "Oh, yes," she chuckled and without thinking she grabbed his neck and pulled him down in a kiss. It started as just a peck but as she realized what she was doing she kissed him again slower and softer. She could feel his lips tremble slightly at first and then they started moving with hers. She let out a soft moan opening her lips and sucking on his bottom lip and heard a deep growl come from his throat as he kiss her back with need and hunger._

_Wilson walked in the lobby, "Hey, Hou..." he stopped as he saw House kissing the woman from the paintball match. The act looked foreign to him and it wasn't until that moment that he realized he'd never seen his friend even touch someone that wasn't a patient._

_Greg was lost in the feel of her tongue against his and heat of her lips. He had remembered that kissing was good but had forgotten exactly how good. One hand combed in her hair pulling her deeper in the kiss while the other one pulled her waist to his body in desire. It wasn't until he pulled back taking gasping breaths of air that he felt someones eyes on him and glanced over to see Wilson. His cheeks flushed as he stood up straight letting go of Stacy._

_Stacy wobbled slightly as his hand left her waist and his lips hers. She felt a little light headed as she stood on her own two feet and looked up at him to see he was looking down the lobby, he eyes followed his and she blinked as noticed Wilson standing at the end of the hall staring at them as if he'd just see a dragon._

_Greg sighed, "I know I'm supper hot and take you breath away but if you don't start talking I'm going inside," he said with slight irritation._

_Wilson tried to open his mouth but it didn't seem to understand him. After a couple of seconds he manage to get out something, "Thought... tennis... you busy," he said shaking his head._

_Greg rolled his eyes looking to Stacy, "My friends is an idiot at times. You play tennis?" he asked as if they hadn't just been sucking face a moment ago._

_Stacy smiled up at him, there was no way she was letting go of him, "Not usually, but for you I will," she said putting a hand on his arm._

"_No," Wilson said shaking his head as he had finally gotten over being stunned to see both of them looking at him, "you're busy." He said with a manic grin. "This is... I'm so happy for you," he said as he walked closer to them. "Wow," he said in amazement, "she must really like you to get up so early to come over here and run with you."_

_House swallowed hard, "Actually, she never left. We..." he started but was interrupted by Wilson._

"_Whoa! That's alright, tiger, I don't need to know what you two kids were doing," Wilson said giving House a hardy pat on his left arm and smiling back at Stacy. "You've got a really good guy there," he said to her._

_Stacy flushed as she smiled, "Good doesn't even begin to describe him," she said giving a wicked grin._

_Wilson gave a chuckle, "Wow," he said again looking at the two of them, "you two have a good day, just forget you ever saw me and... get back to it," he said and left._

_Greg sighed, "Now he's going to think we had sex," he said watching the door his friend had left from._

_She looked back at him, "Is that a bad thing?" she asked a bit of edge in her voice._

_He shrugged letting out a sigh, "I don't like lies, intentional or not."_

_Stacy put her hand on his chest, "Maybe it doesn't have to stay a lie," she said looking in his eyes._


	101. Chapter 101: Patience and Planning

Stacy ran a thumb over his pale chapped lips as the memory faded and looked into his distant eyes, "I'll do whatever it takes to get you back even if that means molesting you," she said watching him closely. "I was hoping you were faking," she said with a sad smile. "You have to get better, Greg, because you have to meet John. He's your son and he's perfect. He's too smart for me to keep up with and his love... it's just like yours, endless," she sniffled as she looked in his eyes knowing he wasn't hearing her. "And no, I didn't name him John just to piss you off, it was Mark's fathers name. I hated it and for the longest I called him by his middle name, Adam. Mark doesn't know it's your middle name too or he would probably be forcing me to change it. He knows that John is yours, it was too obvious to hide, but he loves him, Greg. I swear I wouldn't still be will him if he didn't." Stacy said and swallowed hard as watched him with tear filled eyes. "Greg, I don't know what to do. We get in fights all the time and they are getting increasingly physical. He's never touched John and we are careful to make sure not to fight in front of him but I'm scared. I know I deserve this, after how I treated you and then cheating on Mark but I afraid he's going to go too far one day. I had been trying to get the courage to call you because I know you'd know what to do, but I didn't know how to tell you about John and I knew I didn't deserve your support." She whispered then wept against his chest some, not sure which was sadder, her situation or Greg's. She stayed that way for a few minutes before she felt his arm wrap around her some and her eyes darted to his expecting to see life in his eyes but they were still distant. "I swear to God that I'm going to get you back and I'll make her pay for this," she said and wiped her face some.

Stacy walked back into the living room to see everyone's eyes go to her, "He's alright now," she said and smiled as John ran to her and picked him up.

"Did you talk to Daddy?" John asked with confusion.

Stacy's eye widened as she glanced accusingly around the room at the adults, assuming they said something about Greg being his real father, "Why would you ask me that?"

John leaned up to his mother's ear, "You're eyes are red," he said softly and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Stacy felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment as Wilson's eyes moved on her, "Baby, why don't you go lay back down. Mommy needs to talk to the other adults and you need your rest," she said giving the boy a kiss on the forehead.

"Okay," Adam agreed and walked in House's bedroom closing the door behind him.

Stacy looked up at them with cool features, "Alright, let's get back to it," she said not wanting to waste time with a Q and A about John. "The main concern is building a case against Dr. Cuddy and getting Dr. House back to his old self, agreed?" She asked to see everyone nod in agreement. "Good," she said, "there are eight of us so we need to break off into groups. Four to get me the research I need to help in the legal case and four to look into getting House back to being House."

Taub spoke up, "I was going for my law degree in case I didn't get in medical school. I would be able to help find something actually useable in the court system," he said to see the rest of the team glance at him. "What? I'm Jewish, it's either a lawyer or doctor with us."

"Great, James and I will be working on getting House to be responsive. James," she said looking to him, "see if you can get a hold of his psychiatrist and see if she has an ideas."

"I've got some contacts in trauma psychology that I could check in with," Chase said seriously, wanting to be on the team to get House better.

"And I want to do the research into Cuddy. She has to pay for this," Cameron said with heat.

Stacy gave Cameron a warm smile, "Thanks, I'm first going to hit the board of the hospital about there bylaws and try to get his job back that way. Then I plan to hit Dr. Cuddy with a lawsuit so big it'll make all the lawsuits against House look like change."

"Why go to the board first?" Thirteen asked with some frustration.

"Because the most important thing to House is getting his job back and the simplest way of accomplishing that is with the board. Most of them are a bunch of spineless piles of shit and I know what to say to make them squirm, but he has to back to his old self before it'll work. Until then they will say he's incapable of doing the job and they'll be right."

"I saw him, on the ground crying in her office the day he told her," Foreman said and every eye went to him. "Is there anyway we can use that?"

Stacy thought about it, "Maybe, see what else you can find out or document for the day he told her. If he found out that day we might can claim the his judgment was clouded when he told her and as a doctor she should know that you can't use an emotional breakdown against an employee if they say that they are seeking help. Also I want to know if she had ANY documented proof to him being HIV positive."

"I can do that," Foreman said with a nod.

"I'll look into medical procedures to help stimulate memories. See if anything new has popped up that he might benefit from," Kutner added.

"Then research it is," Thirteen said thinking about it. "I could find incentives for the board to give him his job back. Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital was just a speck before House came along. His name is why doctors came there and the reason they're high profile patients donate so much money and go there. I think they need to be reminded of that."

Stacy smirked at the beautiful young woman, "I can see why he hired you," she said pleased. She opened her purse taking out her business cards and handed them out to the team, "My number and email, send me anything you find and remember to either get the information legally or at least make it look like you did."

Soon it was just Wilson and Stacy again, "What's going on at home?" Wilson asked with concern.

Stacy shook her head, "Nothing, we just argue more. We're fine," she stated firmly not wanting to discuss it anymore. "When's the last time Greg had a bath?" she asked bringing the conversation back to House.

Wilson sighed, "Two days ago. He might not weigh much but he's awkward to move around by yourself." He said as guilt filled him, "I was planning on giving him a bath tonight but he was having some muscle spasms and I was afr..." he stopped talking as a hand was put on his shoulder.

"James, I wasn't accusing you of anything. I know you're trying your best to take care of him," she said with sympathy at the mans situation. "I was just thinking the warm water might relax his muscles and the bath might stimulate him some. Do you think we could manage it together?"

"Yeah, we can," he said with a warm smile.

"I'll go get the water started," Stacy said with a reassuring smile as she started towards the bathroom.

Wilson felt an overwhelming amount of gratitude for the Stacy's help and initiative, "Thank you, you didn't have to come. Honestly when I called I didn't expect you to fly down here on the next flight to help with him," he said truthfully. "I was just hoping you'd take his case and we'd be able to send you documents."

"He saved my husbands life and he gave me John, the light of my life. I owe that man everything," She said with emotion. "I'll be damned if I'm going to let his life fall apart because he took the beating of his life for standing up for HER and she got her FEELINGS hurt that he didn't want to share with her that he MIGHT be HIV positive until he was sure." Her features hardened, "I trusted her about his leg, that she could remove the dead muscle and he wouldn't be left disabled. I was emotional and afraid he was pushing himself beyond what he could handle and I was an IDIOT to trust her judgment over his. He's ten times the doctor she could ever dream to be and she fucking knows it. I swear on my mother's grave I will..." she was almost yelling when Wilson interrupted her.

"Stacy," he said in a calm concerned voice, "you're going to wake up John and the rest of the building," he said softly.

Stacy felt embarrassment as she realized how loud she'd been getting but her face was already red from pure anger that it didn't show any difference. "Sorry," she said taking a couple of deep breath to calm down, "I can't stand the idea of her taking anything else away from him," she explained.

"I know," Wilson said tenderly, "and we'll make this right but first we have to get him out of this state."

"Right," she agreed, "I'll go run that water for his bath. Thanks for letting me vent some," she said walking into the bathroom.

Wilson went in the bedroom to see House laying on the bed with his eyes open staring lifelessly at the ceiling, the sight still made his skin crawl. He glanced over at the cot to see the boy sleeping silently on his back with his head lulled to the side. A part of him wondered what House's response would be to seeing the child but considering all that had happened he knew it was best if House didn't have anymore shocking news for a while. He pulled the wheelchair by the bed and gently lifted House out of the bed and into the wheelchair. He took him to the bathroom and lifted his eyebrows as a wonderful aroma captured his attention, "Wow, is he getting a bath or a spa treatment?" he asked with a grin.

Stacy smiled, "It's his own personal blend of lavender bath salts and mint oil," she said to see Wilson looking surprised and confused, "he keeps it hidden under the sink in an old mason jar."

He chuckled, "He leaves his porn out for the world to see and hides bath salts," he said with a grin.

"That's Gregory," she replied watching the tub as the water rose.

"I'm going to give him a chance to go to the restroom, otherwise the warm water sometimes stimulates him to go," Wilson said trying not to sound as uncomfortable as he felt saying it.

Stacy nodded in understanding, "I'll just give you two a minute. Watch the water for me if you would?" she asked.

"I've got it," he said watching her as she left and then got to work on Greg.

When Wilson called her back in House sat nude in the wheelchair with dead eyes. She stared at the scars in revulsion that anyone could do such damage to another human being. He'd been burned in the most sensitive areas, his face and neck carved on and on top of all of that he wasn't much more than a skeleton. She swallowed hard seeing the father of her child in such a state. They lowered him into the hot bath, since that was the way House preferred them, and then she asked Wilson to leave. She could see his muscles unwind as the heat of the water soaked into them and even his breathing seem to calm some. He looked so different from when they'd dated in some ways, more gray hairs, thinner more gaunt features, more scars and the shaggy facial hair. She took off her jacket and blouse leaving her in a camasol and jeans then clipped her hair back. Before getting on her knees at the side of the bathtub she got a large cup, lotion, shaving cream, razor, scissors, comb, colored rinse, and a hand towel. She smiled at him, "You are way over due for a proper clean up and I'm going to give it to you," she said to him as if he could hear her as she put lotion on his face and beard then dipped the hand towel in the the steaming water and wrung it out to put it over his face after closing his eyes. As she let the lotion and steam work on his face she lathered up a rag and cleaned the rest of him. When she was done she removed the hand towel to see peace on his features, like a sleeping child. She ran her fingers over his facial hair and noticed it was softer with a smile. "I'm about to get rid of your scruff, Greg," she said in a sweet voice, "unless you say something I'm going to shave your clean," she said hoping for a reaction but didn't get any. She put on the shaving cream and took her time dragging the blade on his skin and special care around the scars. She managed to shave his entire face without so much as a nick and smiled at the results. His scars were more visible but so was his strong jaw, high cheeks and those sweet lips of his. Next was a haircut, she cut it short on the sides and back fading into longer length at the top then put the medium brown rinse he use to use on it. She left the semi-permanent color on for thirty minutes before rinsing it out. She quickly rinsed him off and the tub out to get the color and hair down the drain and filled the tub again putting in his special soaking mix and the stuff she'd used up. She grabbed his toothbrush, toothpaste, some flossing hooks, wrinkle reducing lotion from her purse and a tub before joining at his side again. She slowly opened his mouth and got to work brushing them which went well all except he kept swallowing the toothpaste instead of spitting it out but she let it go and continued her work flossing his teeth and then putting on the wrinkle cream. She let him soak another couple of minutes before layering his wheelchair with towels, draining the tub and drying him off as much as she could still in the tub before getting Wilson.

Wilson had been wondering what was going on as the 'bath' had taken two hours and walked into see House with wide eyes. He walked closer and blinked, "You gave him a shave, a real haircut..." he squinted at his hair, "it even looks a little less gray and his skin looks... smooth. Did we just time travel ten years back?" he asked with a pleased smile glancing and Stacy.

She gave him an innocent look, "What, I just cleaned him up a little. Now help me get him in the wheelchair and go away so I can finish him up," she said with as a wicked smile replace the innocent one. Wilson did what he was told and vanished again. She put some high quality leave in conditioner she used on his hair and dressed him. She find it unsettling that the small sized clothing was rather loose on him but tried to keep her mind off of it as sprayed his now dry and curly hair with a shining spray and ran her hands through it to give it direction. Her eyes watered as she looked at the finished product. He looked like a thinner version of the man she'd loved, the man who'd made love to her and given her John. Sometimes she forgot how much she really cared about him but being in front of him right now she was reminded of all he'd done for her and the love they'd shared. She wiped her eyes before rolling him out into the living room.

Wilson stood up and swallowed hard as his eyes watered, "Holy shit," he said looking at House astonished a how much he really did look like his old self. He blinked and looked up at Stacy, "I haven't seen him look this good since..." he let the sentence fade off not wanting to make her feel guilty after all she was doing.

Stacy shrugged, "All I did was clean off the dust and polish him up a little. He's always been a handsome man and now everyone else can see that a little easier. I was hoping I'd get some reaction from him, that he'd be so irritated I shaved his face that he'd give me a piece of his mind but it didn't happen," she said looking at House with a concerned frown.

He knew what that was like to try and not succeed. "Hey, go get some sleep. It's already two in the morning and you're going to have a long day tomorrow, we all are." He said truthfully.

She sighed, "Fine, I'll take the couch," she said exhausted.

"No, take the bed. He sleep better in the recliner anyway and I'll be out here on the couch that way if he has another bad dream I can quieten him down before he wakes up John." Wilson said and thought she was going to protest before her shoulders fell.

"Thank you," Stacy said too tired to fight his reasonable argument and walked into the bedroom to get some real sleep before the next day.

_When they were back in his apartment Stacy kissed him again letting her body rest against his. He felt himself harden with need and growled as he pulled away from her, "No," Greg said in a deep rough voice, "it's too soon for this." He said trying to calm down his urges and think._

"_I can sleep over but a kiss is too much," she said with an amused smirk yet as she searched the eyes of the usual man in front of her. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened to him that made him so hesitant about physical contact._

_His eyes met hers and he looked away from her probing look, "A kiss leads to making out, making out leads to spooning, and we all know that spooning leads to forking," he said with deep concern glancing at her again to see a seductive curve of her lips and the rest of her body before closing his eyes and shaking his head. "You're bad," he said in an exasperated yet amused way._

"_And why is forking such a bad thing?" Stacy asked in a low sultry voice, "Maybe the other girl didn't know how to do it right, it's good when I do it," she purred running a hand up his chest._

_Greg pulled back with a nervous chuckle as he opened his eyes to see Stacy in his clothes and swallowed hard. "We've only been on one date," he said and accidentally fell into the couch._

_She stopped between his legs, looking slightly down at him. "Does the date end when I go home or when the next day begins?" she asked taking off his shirt to see his eyes scan her torso slowly as his mouth opened some. There was a part of her that wondered if he would start drooling soon, "I had to get that sweaty thing off. That run really did make me hot," she said arching her back slightly to hear him let out a soft sigh._

_Her body was... amazing and so close to him. "I..." he stammered looking at her breast which were barely contained in the low cut bra. He could see some of the areola peeking out and closed his eyes again so that his brain might have a chance at working, "You're beautiful but... I'm not ready for this,"he said and made an attempt to slide to the side of the couch when he was stopped by something. He slowly opened one eye to see her arm in his way and made the terrible mistake at following that arm up to her face as she straddled him._

_Stacy bit her lip as she could feel a very large hardness under her and moved her hips over his some, "Does that feel bad?" she whispered to see his eyes roll back as his hands held on to her hips. "How long have you waited for this?"_

_Greg looked at her and all he wanted to do was suck her neck or breast some... just a taste, but he knew if he did that he'd never be able to stop himself. "I don't want this," he said in a desperate voice._

_She rolled her hips on his again, "Oh... I don't believe you. Your lips say no but your body says yes," she drawled out as her hips rocked on his hardness._

_He flushed and suddenly his mind was back. His grip on her hips tightened and he picked her up and put her to the side of him as he stood up, "I'm sorry but I'm not going to have sex with you. It's too soon and I wasn't looking for some one night stand."_

_Stacy's eyebrows shot up. She'd never had a man do that before and it was even more impressive as his hard member could been easily seen constraining to get out. Stacy stood up beside him with a perplex look, "You..." she said in thought as she put the shirt back on, "are interesting," she finally said, "and better be worth the wait," she added walking into his bathroom with her stuff before closing the door._

_It was a week after that statement that he proved how good he was. She'd never left his place, instead she'd brought some stuff over and stayed learning more about the strangely romantic man she'd met at the paintball gun fight. The next day after they had made love she packed everything she cared about and moved in permanently. He'd been well worth the wait._


End file.
